I hate changes.
After being jarred back from one reality to another, I started despising changes.

But then again, only change is permanent. And no matter how much I whine, I will have to go through it one time or another.

The most unfortunate thing is when the change comes suddenly and unexpectedly.

That is when people lose themselves; they either let the flow take them over or resist the flow. And if they do resist the flow, they are stuck in a point of no return.

And even after knowing this, I somehow let the river wash me away...


Spring was almost in, as the snow already started melting gradually and the cherry blossoms of the tree near our brothel started blooming in full force.

Our brothel had recently been given the honor of leading the district's festival parade for the upcoming spring celebration which was a huge responsibility full of prestige.

Our brothel, even though was quite famous before, was slowly gaining public recognition as one of the highest class of Oiran in all of the country.

It was not much of a surprise to me, as I had kind of predicted it since the day my 'products' (just strings of different fabrics knotted together, nothing much, really) gained sudden attention from the merchants who were our current customers at the time.

Since then, the fabric craft went pretty popular around here and instead of making all of the products myself, I just taught the other courtesans and concentrated on other, more important things: dancing and speed.

I know, dancing may not sound like a much useful skill but the way it stretches one's body and increases flexibility, it may as well be equivalent to fighting. Just without the actual muscular strength, though I was trying to build those a little to, but to no avail as I didn't had time nor did I had any means.

At least I could run and work better on my speed so that I could at least make up for the lack of strength. My speed and reaction time was pretty good, if I had to say so myself but I was way more proud of my flexibility— that's a different thing that I was still a child and I ought to have that much flexibility.

"Miya-chan!" The Head Matron, Fujioka, was a strict cookie and very hard to impress or kept happy in general. Lucky me that I was almost always in her good books.

"Hai, Fujioka-san?" I asked softly as I padded through the hallway towards her.

I tried very hard to maintain an image of a hardworking and meek girl, just so I don't accidentally piss them off. Even if I may be a child, there was no guarantee what they might do to me if I become too troublesome.

Even though everyone here adores me, I won't pass it through them to sell me if I do not seem to adjust into their little world. After all, olden times had no such rights as the modern time implemented, or will implement? I don't know how to express things as my 'past' as it is their future and currently mine as well...

A sudden snap of fingers in front of my face broke me from my wondering.

"Did you listen to a single thing I said?" Fujioka demanded, her soft yet strong voice conveyed some very harsh words at times.

"Not really..."

"Then listen now, and listen carefully. We are to lead the spring festival this year, which is not only a very honorable task, but what might be our only chance to declare our superiority over other brothels."

I nodded along as she entered her room and asked me in. Her room was the most plain and yet the biggest in the brothel. She maintained all kinds of scrolls and papers in her room and kept everything in a very orderly and neat manner that I only wished to achieve. It was like a superpower in itself.

"Sit." She ordered/offered me a sitting pillow to make myself comfortable on, which I did, as she poured a cup of tea for herself.

Of course she didn't offered me as I still was a child and rather disliked the green tea Japanese seemed to prefer. I mean, not only was it bitter, but also so bland and literally disgusting.

"So... how may I assist you in it, then?" I asked a bit hesitantly, still unfamiliar with the whole process.

"I want you to collect these," she handed me a long, then sheet of paper with several things listed in an orderly and neat way. "And get back as soon as you can. Also, I need you to help your mother dress and do her makeup as you have some steady hands and good interest in it."

Well, it was true. Since I got bored with knitting and 'knotting', I started painting and also tried my hand in makeup that was liked by almost everyone; even the Head Matron herself was impressed, which was a rare feat in itself.

"These... things, are to be collected within today?" I asked carefully, as to maintain my meek image.

"Yes," she nodded her way towards the door. "Go now, or else you won't be able to collect them all by tonight. The festival is by day after tomorrow and I do not want a single thing out of the order."

"Yes, ma'am." I bowed and left the room as quietly as I could. In my last life, I had a bad habit of walking rather silently, which scared the living daylights outta my family, especially my little sister.

It was amusing and nostalgic too, and only because of this familiar feeling did I continue with this habit in this life as well.

'In fact,' I looked up from my list towards my mother's door which was right in front of me. 'It feels somehow... me.'

After all, no matter how much different I may be in this life than my last, I'm still the same. The old me, just in a new body.

And maybe that's what terrifies me.


The cloth bag around my shoulder was getting heavier and heavier with every new item that I bought and even the shopkeepers were concerned with the weight of the bag as the list of items in my hand was near to completion.

"Here," the kind old lady helped me with putting the red powder away in my bag. Not only was it filled to the brim now, but was as heavy as maybe my actual weight.

"You sure you can carry it, dear?" She asked, with clear concern shinning in her old brown eyes.

"I can!" I exclaimed with as much enthusiasm as I could gather, which wasn't much and even she seemed to have noticed that.

"It's sad how they just send you to buy so many things alone..." she muttered as she went inside the shop to get the change.

"I'm four! I'm not a kiiiiiiiiiid~!" I whined and mock pouted to elevate the mood a bit, which I did successfully if the old woman's amused smile was to go by.

"Hai, hai. Here's the change." She handed me back three coins and patted on my head. "And here's a candy for my little brave girl!"

"Waah~!" I instantly popped the candy in my mouth, which I discovered to be of litchi flavour, my favourite! "Arigato oba-san!"

She smiled and patted me once again. "Now off you go! And go directly back to your house, okay?"

"Hai~!" I waved back as my small, tiny self dragged the heavy brown bag behind myself, huffing and puffing.

I smiled to myself as I was reminded of the story of my childhoo— last childhood, the three little pigs and the wolf. Or maybe that wasn't the name? I don't remember that much. In fact, everything was like that; I remembered only bits and pieces but even those were precious to me.

I slowly and steadily remembered more and more about my family as well- I had a little sister, who was four years younger than me and so very adorable and brattish. I also remember my mother from last life who was as ordinary looking as any other Asian house maker but damn was she a crazy woman who I loved dearly. I don't remember much of my father though, for some odd reason.

I was almost at the brothel when I felt it, a deep sense of... dread. I felt as if my stomach fell down to my toes and a sudden nauseous feeling held me in its tight grip.

The breath quickened gradually as I took each step towards the brothel and just when I was opening the door, the smell hit me up front.

The smell of blood.