I do not own Harry Potter, the Wizarding World, or any canon characters.
Extended Family
Chapter 82 – Dish Best Served
Takes place after chapter 79
"He must be a real dick for you to be this upset."
Hannah flushed and looked at her husband. "Sorry."
"Nah, don't be." Ron kissed her warmly. "You're one of the nicest people I've ever met. You literally get along with everyone. So for this guy to cheese you off, he must be an arse."
Hannah sighed. "I know everyone's entitled to an opinion, especially on food, but his marketing is basically 'Don't eat at the Cauldron, eat here instead'."
Ron frowned. "And what does he serve that's so special? Does he serve different kinds of food?"
"No. Apparently he serves food that's supposed to be 'better'. Ginny brought some of it over one day and I swear he just tries to guess what we make and just adds a bunch of fat and salt to it to make it taste richer." She looked at Ron as he got out of bed and started pulling clothes on. "Where're you going?"
"To have a talk with this bloke and about him being a dick."
Hannah laughed and pulled him back. "While I know you can duel him under the table, it'd be bad for many reasons."
"What if I ask some of our regulars?" Ron grumbled.
"I know a lot of them actually would do something but I don't want to handle it like that." She sighed once more. "I wouldn't normally care but it needles me to have our place used like a whip stick like that. We work hard here and we have honest comforting food here."
"Hey I'm all for fair competition too but this guy isn't being fair."
Hannah shrugged. "No he isn't. We'll figure out a way to get back at him, but we got to be smart about it."
Ron sighed and hugged her to him. "Are you sure I can't ask about? I'm sure Tenley and Fellows would help."
Hannah smiled into his shoulder. "Siccing Aurors on him for badmouthing us wouldn't be right."
"But it'd feel good," Ron chuckled.
-0-
A few days later Ron walked into the kitchen holding a piece of parchment. "Hey, look at this."
Hannah took it from him. "Oh a Diagon Alley open stall event. Stores can set up a stall in the new square to show off their wares. That's fun."
"And look here." Ron pointed. "There's going to be a competition. Groups of stores can compete on their things and the winners will get a bit of money and some marketing and things."
"We win the inn competition considering we're the only one," Hannah laughed. "Not sure if we want to compete with the other bars or pubs though for drinks and the like."
"No, but we can compete in the food one."
Hannah looked thoughtful. "I guess so. We can serve up some favorites or do some new ones for it." She narrowed her eyes. "Hold on, you usually don't care about competitions that don't involve Quidditch all that much. What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking this will be a perfect time to slap that buggering bloke down a bit and show him his place. You know, beneath us."
Hannah smiled. "While I don't mind seeing him knocked down a bit for his arseholery, I'll be honest and say I don't know if I can out-cook him."
"Hannah, you're one of the best cooks I know."
She kissed him. "You have to say that because you're married to me."
"You know I'm serious about food."
She laughed again. "I do. Besides, I don't even know if he is going to compete."
Ron's smile was crafty. "Oh but what if we practically guarantee it? Like say leading up to it, all the other store owners talk about our food, only come here which they mostly do anyways, stuff like that. Not to mention the twins want to mess with him because he was complaining about them and saying their store ruins the 'ambiance' of his."
Her snort was heavy and rich. "Oh boy, if he's going to pick a fight with the twins, he deserves everything coming to him. Problem is, it's always a touch busier for us in the winter. I don't know if I have the time to run the stall and make something for it."
Ron continued to smile. "Ah I have an idea for that too. Since this guy has been such a huge arse, let's get a ringer and really smack him."
"A ringer?" Hannah thought for a moment before smiling a little. "Will he have time? And it's not like he works here though. Is it legal?"
"We've told all sorts of people that you and he collab on the menu a lot."
"That's true…"
"And, between you and me, he gets a bit conceited about cooking."
Hannah hooted loudly. "He gets conceited?!"
"Oh yeah! One of the few things he really has pride in, you know? So I let him know some nobody is talking bad about your cooking, which means he's talking bad about his cooking, and well, he's gotta defend your and his honor, doesn't he?"
Hannah wiped tears of merriment from her eyes. "Well, if you can convince him, I won't say no."
-0-
Harry blinked a few times. "I'm conceited?"
"Harry, focus on the important bit," Ron sighed.
Harry turned to Katie. "I get conceited?"
Katie grinned and patted his hand. "No, you don't get conceited. You just know you're a good cook."
"Daddy's the best cook!" Dahlia and Iris said loudly.
"Right! Exactly!" Ron said.
Harry frowned playfully. "Not a good way to convince me to do something by calling me conceited."
Hannah giggled as she tickled Lucas. "He's not wrong."
"I'm doing this for you," Ron muttered. He turned back to Harry. "Look, just saying, you're one of the best cooks we know and you've done consulting work at the Leaky."
"I have?"
"For this purpose, yes technically. Anyways, we could really use the help."
Harry hummed. "Well, we do finish our games before they pick back up in the spring the week before. I would have the time."
"And, this guy is a real ars-" he flinched when Hannah smacked his arm. "Er…"
"Derriere?" Dahlia offered.
"Right thanks Dilly, a real derriere-hole. He's been talking smack about the Cauldron and about Hannah's cooking which means he's talking smack about yours too."
Harry frowned for real. "Wait, he's been talking bad about the Cauldron and you two?"
"Yeah. There's usually an unwritten rule about store owners on Diagon and the other streets not badmouthing each other but he's been really rude," Hannah sniffed.
"Is his food any good?" Katie asked.
"I wouldn't eat it willingly," Ron grunted.
"It must be bad then," Harry said.
"I brought some," Hannah said. "One of my employees went and got some take-away." She opened the box on the table and everyone took bites of the pork pie and mash.
"This is…not good," Harry said. "The pastry is greasy and has no texture to it."
"I wouldn't let Bailey eat this pork," Katie said. "Oh Iris, don't do that."
"Blaahh." Iris had let the mouthful of mash fall off her tongue and she was licking her napkin. "It's gross!"
"I don't wanna swallow it," Dahlia mumbled with a pinched face. She spat the food into her napkin and wiped up the mash on the table.
"And this guy says this is better than your food?" Harry asked, incredulous. "What is he, confounded?"
"You know the type, big on mouth and small on brain."
"Oh, a McLaggen?" That made Harry, Ron, and Katie laugh loudly before they explained to Hannah and the little girls.
"Come on. You know you want to," Ron grinned at Harry. "Flex those cooking muscles, smack down an idiot who can't stop his yap, help out your friends…"
Harry snorted and punched Ron in the shoulder. "Alright, you convinced me. But it's not because I'm conceited."
"You know, Hermione would be proud of me using my vocabulary," Ron retorted and punched Harry back.
"So you're finally using that book I got you?" Harry smirked.
"You got him the vocabulary book?" Hannah laughed merrily. "I knew someone didn't leave it at the Leaky."
"I saw it one day at a Muggle bookstore and couldn't resist," Harry laughed before he and Ron exchanged more punches.
"What does conceited mean?" Dahlia asked, frowning at Ron.
"It means Uncle Ron thinks Daddy's head is swollen when it comes to cooking," Katie grinned. "That he thinks too much of himself."
"Daddy is not conceited!" Dahlia said loudly, deeply offended. Iris kicked Ron in the ankle and both girls left the table with Ron trailing after them.
"I've seen him face men bigger and taller than him without flinching, seen him take down drunks waving broken bottles and wands about without a care. And yet there he is, on his knees begging two little girls for forgiveness," Hannah smiled lovingly.
"As he should," Harry laughed.
-0-
"So I hear you're taking on that arsehole on Diagon," Angelina said, walking into the kitchen.
Harry smiled as he stirred a rich looking brown sauce. "Looks like. I got recruited as a ringer."
"Good, kick his arse," Angelina said. "George told me about the guy and he sounds like a prick."
"Have you tried his food? Hannah brought some and I know it tastes different cold but it was really bad."
"No but George has and he wasn't glowing in his review." Angelina tilted her head as she watched her daughter sneak into the kitchen from the sitting room. The girl was moving very slowly and quietly but when Harry shot her an amused look she pouted and dashed back into the other room. "What is my daughter doing?"
"Oh it's a new game that Hedwig made."
"Hedwig made it up?"
"Yeah. Hedwig does this thing where she flies as close as she can and as quiet as she can and nips you without you noticing. When I told her flying makes it too easy, she got to sneaking about on her legs and she's still really good at it. The bunnies saw her doing it so they're trying to see who can bite me without me catching them in the act."
Angelina blinked. "Huh, okay I guess. That's a new one."
"They haven't been as successful. They giggle too much, you see."
Angelina smiled. "That's a detriment to sneaking for sure." She opened her mouth when Harry offered a taste on the wooden spoon. "Mmm, whoa that's great! What is it?"
"I'm playing with a curry sauce. Hannah and I planned on what's a good thing for the Leaky to serve. She didn't want to do anything too out there from what the Leaky is known for and I agreed. So we're going to do sausage rolls but with different flavors, things people might like. So I'm making a few different sauces and see how it goes." He turned suddenly and grinned at Dahlia who had crawled in. Dahlia sighed and rolled back out of the kitchen.
"That's a really good idea. Familiar but with a new taste to it. What else do you have planned?"
"I'm thinking a red sauce for an Italian sausage roll, curry sauce for a curry flavored one as you tasted. There's also this sandwich called a French Dip where you dip a beef sandwich into a beef broth so I'm thinking of doing a pork broth."
Angelina smiled. "Maybe you really should have opened that restaurant."
"I prefer cooking for people I like and that will shower me with praise." He batted his eyes at Angelina making her laugh.
"You're the chefiest chef that I know and the best," Angelina said with a big smile and a bigger hug.
"Aww you're too kind," Harry replied and gave her a taste of the red sauce.
"Mmm, now that's a tasty red sauce," Angelina praised. "I'd eat that happily with pasta."
"Not too heavy on the garlic?"
"Not for me but I love garlic. A sausage roll is heavier than pasta so you probably need to season it more to match."
"Yeah that's what I was thinking too. Plus pork sausage takes spice well so I did more red chili pepper flakes though I know not a lot of people like spicy things."
"I think it's got a good balance. I like spicy too though." Angelina's eyes sparkled. "Oh speaking of spicy things, did George tell you how they were getting Ron back for the conceited comment?" She laughed when Harry shook his head and looked at her eagerly. "He and Fred raided his wardrobe and charmed all his shirts and jumpers so when Ron tried to pull them on, the neck hole shrinks!"
"That's brilliant!" Harry laughed. "That's what he gets for calling me tha-Ow!"
"I did it!" Hadley shouted with glee, having slid in and bit Harry's left hand when he was distracted. She immediately kissed it and hugged Harry. "Sorry Papa Harry!" She then ran into the sitting room. "I win! I get to be Queen Hedwig!"
Angelina and Harry watched through the window at Hadley, Hailey, and Dahlia running into the back garden, laughing and shouting with Hedwig sitting on Hadley's head, her happy barking mingling pleasantly with the girls' laughter.
"Our bunnies are so weird," Angelina said, shaking her head.
"Yeah, and so cute," Harry sighed fondly.
-0-
It was snowing in Diagon Alley but the atmosphere was bright and just chilly enough to be noticeable but not uncomfortable. The amount of people walking about the square and visiting the open stalls kept the cold mostly at bay and the large crackling fires dotted about added to the festive feeling.
The Weasley Wheezes stall was as brightly colored and loud as their main store. Fred gleefully showcased new wares and the crowd around the stall laughed and cheered at the demonstrations, even the ones subjected to the products themselves.
Eeylops Owl Emporium had a lot of owls roosting and flying about their stall and Magical Menagerie had all sorts of animals moving about proudly in theirs. Madame Malkins and Twilfit and Tattings showed new robes in all sorts of materials and fabrics.
"How does the contest work?" Katie asked as she helped stack crates behind the stall counter.
Harry murmured an incantation and created a large oven at the back of the stall. Bricks flew together and formed a curved top, fitting together snugly without any cracks. Thin stone became metal doors and the slate within became metal racks. He put wood deep inside and conjured fire that set them alight, heating the entire thing up and making it ready to cook as well as giving off much welcomed heat.
"Everyone that's participating as customers got a small token per category when they paid for their tickets," Harry said. "They then put their tokens into the jar of the stall they liked best. Whoever has the most tokens at the end of the day wins." He unshrank the hob and set it up beside the front counter and set pots on top.
"Oh nice. That's exciting. So you and Hannah will be running the stall?"
Harry nodded as he poured sauces into the pots. "And a couple others from the Cauldron will be rotating in and out."
"How did you and Hannah decide on the final costs?"
"Any two rolls and sauces will be a Sickle and ten Knuts and all four will be two Sickles. We decided to keep them cheap."
"That's a good deal," Katie nodded. "Well I think you guys are going to do great! The sauces are so good."
"I love it when you butter me up," Harry smiled and kissed her. "Or are you just trying to get a free sausage roll?"
"As if you won't ever give me your sausage for free," she said cheekily and kissed him again. A loud cough cut through their moment and they looked at a man that stood there with crossed arms and a sour look on his face. "Yes?" Katie asked, frowning slightly.
"Who are you?" the man said shortly, glaring at Harry.
"Harry," Harry replied offering a hand that the man ignored.
"I've never seen you before," the man said. "You don't work at the Cauldron."
"Yes he does." Hannah walked up and put on her placid professional face. "He's a menu planner and a food tester and cook."
"Ah, then I have nothing to worry about," the man sneered. "If he had a hand in your so-called menu, then he clearly lacks in talent and taste."
"Having eaten your food and seeing how you dress, you don't seem to have a lot of taste either," Katie retorted.
The man flushed, his face turning bright red as others nearby snickered and laughed. "We will see who laughs last!" he half-shouted before stomping away.
"Is that the arsehole?" Katie asked, hiking a thumb at him.
Hannah had joined in with the laughter and she nodded wryly. "Yup. Walter Wigs, culinary master as he likes to call himself."
"Culinary catastrophe more like," Katie said and glared at the man as he stomped away. "I actually took the pork pie to Bailey to see what she would do and she retched."
"Poor thing," Harry said. "I'll cook her something nice tonight."
"Mum and Dad are bringing her when they come. We figured she can draw more people to the stall because she's cute. Not that you'll need it. Your food is going to destroy his."
"I love it when you get feisty for me," Harry smiled.
"I'm always feisty for you," Katie smiled and kissed him.
-0-
"Now that is a line!" Fleur laughed.
"They are doing very well," Apolline said approvingly.
It was well into the day and Diagon was full of people. The square was full of people and the scents of all kinds of food wafted through the air, enticing the hungry and peckish. All the food stalls had decent crowds but the one around the Leaky Cauldron was by far the biggest. The Delacours and Colette and Aimee waited in line and they made their way to the front.
"Hey there!" Harry said when he saw them. He had a bandanna wrapped around his head and his face gleamed from sweat but his smile was broad. "You could have came around the side, friends and family are welcome."
"We wanted to be proper customers first," Sebastian said warmly. "The full order for all of us please, if you have the supplies."
"We have. I've already had to make another batch of everything and I think I'll have to do it again. We've been swamped but I've been able to make things as we go so we're still okay."
"Has it been like this since you started?" Gabrielle asked.
"Pretty much. When people started getting hungry and the breeze took the smell of the sauces away, people came."
"How come there is not a French sausage roll?" Colette asked indignantly.
"There is one, just not for most of the customers. Special order." He reached behind the counter and gave her a bottle of wine and that made them all laugh.
"Acceptable," Apolline smiled. "Oh, this is a nice bottle actually. More than acceptable."
"I asked the wine and spirits store owner for their recommendation," Harry grinned.
They collected their food and moved to the side, walking over to a waving Katie who had set up some benches for them to sit beside the stall. They sat happily and chatted with the others there, digging into their rolls.
"Oooh, I like this a lot," Aimee said, dipping the roll into the pork broth again. "This is wonderful."
"Harry based that off of the French Dip sandwich," Angelina said as she bounced Alex on her lap.
"French Dip? What is that?" Colette asked.
"An American sandwich," Alicia clarified, bouncing Abby on her lap. "It is a beef sandwich on a French roll and dipped in au jus."
"What a terrible name," Colette sniffed. "But if it tastes as good as this roll and broth, I would try it."
"I am happy to see how busy they are," Fleur said as she munched happily on the curry one.
"Yeah and we also have Fred and George to thank for that too," Katie smiled. "They whipped up a new toy. It has four toy sausage rolls pushing each other about in an enchanted ring. When you eat one of the rolls, it encourages the fighting roll to push harder."
"How does that work?" Gabrielle asked with wide eyes.
"Cheering basically," Angelina smiled proudly. "There's a charm that makes the toy roll move more when it hears a word. People get their preferred rolls and shout the name to cheer on their roll."
"That is very clever and talented of them to create that on short notice," Sebastian praised.
"Yup! They're good at what they do," Angelina said gustily.
"How is the competition fairing?" Aimee asked.
"Most of the other places like the candy stall and other eateries are doing good. We're beating Wigs which was the goal but he, for some reason, has a decent crowd," Katie said.
"I don't know how, his food is disgusting," Hermione said.
"He has all those awards he has won mounted all around. Some people think that if others think you are good, then you have to be good despite the fact that it is actually bad." Alicia shook her head.
"What kind of awards?" Fleur asked.
"Stuff from the Prophet and magazines. He even has the big one from a French publication," Hermione said.
That made the Delacours and Aimee and Colette perk up. "Which one?" Apolline asked.
"Cuisine Magique," Hermione said after some thought.
"Surely not. They would never award anyone outside of France in the main publication. They have a completely separate one for ones outside of France." Sebastian rose to his feet. "I am curious now."
"Oh this is going to be grand," Alicia smiled sharply and she led the small group to Wigs' stall. There was a good amount of people there as they said but it was noticeably smaller than the other food stalls. Wigs was loudly decrying the other stalls, claiming his food was better and gesturing at his awards.
Apolline looked at them and when she saw the one in question, she laughed loudly and derisively. Her laughter cut through the noise of the crowd easily and everyone turned to stare at her, some losing themselves to her allure and others managing to maintain composure. "That is a fake," she said scornfully. "An accolade from Cuisine Magique would never look so terrible. Gold parchment? Silver ink? And they do not use the fleur-de-lys as their symbol. Not to mention they would write in French, not English."
"How dare you!" Wigs shouted. "What do you know?!"
"I, unlike this facsimile, am actually French and I read the publication often," she sneered. She looked at the food on the counter and her snort was very deep and very disdainful. "French inspired food? I can see that. Your food looks like a consommé raft." She pretended to look surprised at his look of incomprehension. "If you actually received a credible French accolade, you would know that a consommé raft is meat and egg white and vegetable scraps, utterly inedible and unpleasant to look at."
Wigs looked furiously angrily and furiously embarrassed as people began to snicker and laugh. "Is she your wife?" he asked Sebastian. "Control her!"
"She can control herself," Sebastian said coolly. "In any case, she has said nothing wrong. And since you have not said anything right, I find myself uninterested in this," he made a vague hand gesture at Wigs and his stall, "anymore." He offered his wife his elbow and she took it with perfect dignity, the party leaving the fuming Wigs.
"Now that was delicious," Alicia said with a broad smile. "Simply wonderful."
"I apologize for my vehemence," Apolline said as they sat back down beside the Cauldron stall. "I might ignore someone that lies so obviously but I will not suffer their idiocy if they are rude. And they have to be very rude because we are French and am quite used to rudeness."
"The cold also makes her prickly," Sebastian grinned.
"Quite," Apolline smiled.
"I'll help keep you warm!" Iris said and climbed into her lap.
Apolline's smile shone and she hugged Iris to her, cuddling her close. "Thank you my sweet petite fille! I feel warmer already."
As the sun set, a loud bell could be heard ringing, signaling the end of the competition. Judges came to all the stalls to count the tokens in each jar and a large sign floated up at the opening of the square with smaller signs floating by that also showed results. People cheered and clapped as the numbers appeared on the signs, written beside the store names that earned them.
"No way we didn't win this," Ron said, rubbing his hands gleefully. They had to get a second jar to hold all the tokens the Cauldron earned.
Everyone cheered when the Leaky Cauldron won the cooking section of the competition, beating the next closest store by 200 tokens. Wigs' stall was dead last and did not even appear on the scoreboard.
"Victory party at the Leaky!" Ron shouted happily and a large crowd headed that way.
"Are we going?" Dahlia asked.
"Not this time," Harry smiled as he began cleaning the stall. "Hannah and the others still have to run the Leaky while partying and it's their place, they deserve to be cheered and all."
"So do you, you helped with the recipes and helped run the stall," Angelina argued.
"I got my cheering all day when people bought them and I could watch them eat and be happy. I'll be perfectly happy to get home and relax with all of you. We can have our own victory party."
"Sounds like a plan to me." Katie clapped her hands energetically. "Come on, let's help clean up and we can head back sooner."
-0-
"What's this?" Harry asked when Ron dropped a large bag onto the table.
"Your percentage of the profits for the sausage rolls and sauces! They've been super popular since the open stall event."
"I thought you guys normally deposit it at Gringotts though."
"We do," Ron said. His smile grew when Harry opened the bag and pulled out a handful of gravel. "I just always wanted to drop a big bag of what could be money."
Harry snorted and threw one of the pieces of gravel at Ron. Ron threw it back and then squawked when Harry transfigured it into paint and shot it at Ron with his wand, splattering it across his face. "Oh right, you're good at transfiguration."
"About time I use my mastery," Harry chuckled. "Glad to hear it's super popular though. I was pretty chuffed with the sauces."
"Our number one seller now, thanks Katie." Ron wiped his face clean with a towel she gave him. "Each platter has a bit of each sauce but people can buy extra sauce they want and the pork broth one is usually the one we sell out first."
"Harry made the French Dip sandwiches that inspired it and they are so good," Katie said. "Even Colette likes them despite the name."
"Ooh nice, make me one next time please. I also have some excellent news by the way. Wigs is gone. Closed down his place and left."
"Ha, suck on that arsehole," Katie said with a pleased smile.
"Apparently he got into some legal trouble," Ron said with an equally pleased smile. "That French magazine got wind that he was pretending he got an award from him and came after him. He scarpered after some scary folks came visiting."
"And nothing of value was lost," Katie sniffed.
"That sounds like something Alicia would say," Harry laughed. "Also dang, he really got under your skin."
"He insulted you and your cooking, talked bad about the Leaky, and made Bailey sick. I have a right to enjoy his discomfort, especially since he engineered it all himself," Katie said.
"Nope, that's fair," Harry agreed.
"Thanks again, that was super satisfying winning and smacking him down," Ron grinned.
"Hey, gotta help my best mate," Harry said.
Dahlia walked into the kitchen and hugged Ron. "What's this?" she asked, opening the bag. "Oh no! Uncle Ron, you have pieces of your head in the bag!"
"Wait what?" Ron said, confused.
Katie started to laugh. "That's concrete, not conceit Dally."
"Oops," Dahlia said with a big smile. She ran out laughing, ducking when Ron aimed a small piece of gravel at her.
"Don't throw rocks at my daughter!" Harry laughed, turning the piece into more paint in Ron's hand.
"I wasn't going to throw it," Ron grumbled through his smile. He wiped his hand clean. "Your daughter is a cheeky thing though."
"She's our daughter alright," Harry said proudly, throwing an arm around Katie's shoulder.
-0-0-0-
Ghostwriter - I thought it was a long time coming and would be nice to read and write about. Glad you enjoyed.
alix33 - Her Potterlets.
odonnellzoo99 - It was nice to finally clear the air and know that there weren't any hidden hard feelings. Hedwig loves her chicks and will always be a good mama bird to them. I had to bring back the 'baby Potter defending their father's honor' bit. It makes no sense and it's so very funny.
Urgwaew - I know I wrote them that way obviously, but Hermione and Daphne being so similar despite different backgrounds makes sense, and for them to share the same insecurity makes sense. I thought a lot of people can appreciate that sort of thinking and their own insecurities so figured people would like to read it, to be able to identify and relate. Then of course I had to make it somewhat amusing: Tracy being terrible, Iris being protective, Hedwig being cute and judgy, and Crookshanks being a cat. Hope you are well, my best to you.
