Olivia awoke in the morning still on the couch in the clothes she wore the day before. Her head pounded, probably from the non-stop sob session last night.

She went to the kitchen to find some sort of pain reliever. She peeked into her room, not surprised that Brian had already left. She repeated last night's conversation in her mind, but where she once felt guilty, she felt rising anger.

What the hell was wrong with him? She just suffered through some of the worst days of her life, reliving her days in absolute hell, and he was worried about how she treated him!? No wonder she wanted to spend time with Elliot! Elliot didn't make this whole disaster about him! In fact his presence this week came at a huge personal risk, and he risked it for her. It wasn't about him, he didn't care what the ramifications of his actions might be, he came because he wanted her to feel supported, for her to feel loved. The chasm between Elliot and every other man in her life was wider than the Grand Canyon. While Elliot had his faults, being married being one of them, he put her first, and protected her, always.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Cragen told Olivia to take two days off after the trial but she had no desire to stay in her apartment and stare at the walls for that long. She wanted to go back to work. She wanted normal.

A quiet squad room greeted her when she arrived. Amanda and Amaro were working silently at their desks, she didn't see Fin, and Cragen was in his office. No one seemed to notice her entrance so she dropped her stuff at her desk and enjoyed the quiet. Finally Amanda looked up and noticed her.

"I didn't think you were coming in today." Amanda really didn't look surprised.

"I can't sit in my apartment. I need to work."Olivia shifted some papers around on her desk, trying to remember what they were working on before the trial consumed everyone's lives.

"I can understand that." Amanda stood up to bring her a file, "This is the case we got in last night." Liv wanted to thank her for caring about her enough to give her space the last few days, for not judging her complicated relationship with Elliot, and keeping everyone away from her, but she wasn't sure what to say. After some thought she quietly said, "Thank you Amanda."

Amanda smiled and nodded, knowing exactly what she was being thanked for. Olivia appreciated the opportunity to leave it like that.

Olivia took the file and began flipping through the report. She started to walk back to her desk, eyes still scanning the file when Nick cleared his throat. She pulled her eyes off the report long enough to see what Nick was drawing attention to.

Her breath caught and her heart sped up when she watched Elliot enter the squad room.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Elliot felt a strange sense of deja vu entering the precinct. Nothing had really changed in the two years since he left. When he came around the corner Liv was standing in the squad room, file in hand, looking just like she had years ago. The all encompassing feeling of home rose within him.

Her new partner cleared his throat and her eyes flit up to where he stood. They both just stood there, not knowing quite what they wanted to do in this surreal moment. Olivia dropped the file on her desk and met him at the entry of the squad room.

"I think we need to talk." Honestly he had no idea what he wanted to say or really what the hell he wanted. Well, he knew what he wanted, but he had no idea what he wanted to do.

She nodded in agreement and tilted her head towards the bunk room, "Bunks?"

"Yeah okay." He followed her as she led the way. She flipped the light on, and he was met with an onslaught of memories. Laughing, snoring, changing, rushing to the next place, trying to catch just a minute of sleep only to be woken up by the other. The nostalgia hurt.

"That's about as good as we're gonna get as far as prying ears go," she said while shutting the door.

They both stood awkwardly, not neither seeming to know where to start. Finally, she broke the silence. "When are you leaving?" Her eyes focused on the floor.

He let out a strained breath. "I don't know," he admitted. "I'm so confused about so many things." He reached for her hand.

"Me too," she whispered, wrapping her hand in his, taking a step toward him.

"I wish…" he began but he couldn't find the words. He wished so many things, too many to explain.

"I know," she answered, seeming to understand everything standing behind that "wish".

She continued, "But I don't know if I can be that woman El, and I know you are not that guy." The tears started flowing and he pulled her into his arms. He hated that he kept hurting her over and over. "I can't destroy your family, it will destroy you."

"So you are supposed to be the sacrificial lamb on the alter of my marriage and family? I can't do that to you Liv," his eyes pressed closed trying to hold back his rising emotion. "I can't,"

Tears were coming down in droves now. "I don't see any other way."

"I can't," he reiterated. His head rested on her hair while her cheek pressed into his chest. They just stood there, neither wanting to move or let go. When they were partners, their symbiotic relationship often saved their lives, but now it only meant both of them would be in pain no matter what they chose.

Elliot pulled back ever so slightly to press her forehead to hers, relishing her closeness, desperately trying to make a choice between the woman he loved and the woman he should love. He didn't know what the hell he planned to do because either way he chose, his life will crumble around him.

Okay, so I was going to end it here.. leaving it open ended, BUT my sister said that would be mean and to finish the damn thing so ya'll can have some closure. I intended to create second loosely tied story down the road, but I think I'll just bridge them together for you guys! So thank my sister because I fully intended on leaving this here lol.