As of March 26th, 2023 Chapter 1 has been updated. Revisions will continue as I find ways to make this work better.

This chapter takes place before Secrets of the Scroll. I do not own nor have any ownership over the franchise, but only of my character and art of just the character.

I must warn that this chapter will be a long read.


Shortcomings and Strength


Giggles filled the world deeper than any crack that could be filled with water. Children ran around as they chased one another in a drawn out game of tag while others played around with toys toying around in their own figments of imagination. The gentle warmth of the world held any being comparable to the held hands of two lovers during a honeymoon on the way to do their deed. The sunlight blanked the terrain, piercing even the thickest of forests to share its comfort to the soil below.

Wind slithered through the lands as silk. Nothing had ever been stagnant or empty. Everything had some kind of meaning, whether it be a simple blade of grass or a teardrop resulting from a scraped knee. The thin veil that sewed everything into unity and bliss was adamantine.

A lone figure stood high above the valley below, staring. A small peaceful grin forming on their face realizing that it has found home. A fantasy of a place where they could meet the ones who would shape life for the better. A hope of a place where a family can be found and created. A myth of a place where all the worries in the world would never breach the horizon evermore.

I only remained in a world of hopelessness.

My world saw nothing for me.

My hope slowly faded.

But one day I realized it was in vain.

I thought not everything was always as bad as it seemed.

I always thought there was that light on the other side even if my life was desolation.

I searched for the light afterwards as I thought it was a temporary departure waiting for the right time to come back.

For that one fateful moment I had seen it, rescuing me for it to fade once again into the dark.

That one moment gave me hope to hold on to.

I finally had hope.

The figure found its way down towards the valley. Stepping closer and closer to the chance to start anew. Stepping closer to something that could change the very description of words it was. Stepping away from something that it once was.

The blanket of dread had begun to fall off, dragging and catching a hold of the ground further removing it from the figure. The figure had shown itself as a white tiger. A face riddled with exhaustion, hopelessness, and a withering despite its age. A face which slowly grew back its own youth per step. A life had returned to its rightful place behind the deep blue eyes it could see with. Blue eyes which held an ocean of deeper stories and unfathomable beauty.

Walking into town, waves of faces greeted the tiger. Eyes intricately traced every stripe along its bold frame in bewilderment, assuming the tiger was a living painting. A smile burned warm on the tiger's face. A pair of tigers like himself stepped before him as it took notice. Both stood with wide smiles plastered on their faces. Mother? Father? The tiger stared at both in bewilderment, pondering, looking towards the ground with a blink to only look back up at a broken wasteland of a town.

A town burdened by a deep, rolling, and long extinguished fire leaving the snow below stained with soot. Along with the same thought, the ground had long been covered in a deep unforgiving snow as the eternal flame that once burned high above, had run out of fuel long ago. The deep remnants of agony of the lives that once flourished here painted the buildings as the burn marks resonated the value of their lives they had lost. They had lost everything if not their lives. The tiger dropped to its knees as the world around grew grim letting the flurries fall.

A comforting paw rested on the tiger's shoulder.

"The truth will never change."

The tiger shot a look up at the female tiger he assumed was his mother wearing a face of guilt. The world around had returned to normal as it had before it all died out. He blinked as It once again returned to the desolate wasteland. Each blink would shift the world between both planes of existence. He stopped blinking when he was staring the other tiger in the eyes.

"What's wrong? You shouldn't be afraid of the truth." She seemed concerned.

The life I saw before me had to be real. There was no way that I could have lived this entire time. I must have fallen into a coma. I must be in a nightmare, waking up from a sleep walking coma. There must be something to it. I couldn't let go of what was in front of me.

Blink. Take me back! I don't want to be here. Blink.

"Lies will only take you further from the truth you need to accept."

I couldn't speak but only watched as a face of concern turned to depression. I had never seen my mother before, yet it felt real. I looked over to my father who had the same expression plastered on his face.

"The truth will set you free. It's such a lovely story you made here about who you could be," both spoke in unison.

"Too bad it's not real," all the remaining voices around said.

You're the lie you believe in.

I finally had hope.

That one moment gave me hope to hold on to.

For that one fateful moment I had seen it, rescuing me for it to fade once again into the dark.

I searched for the light afterwards as I thought it was a temporary departure waiting for the right time to come back.

I always thought there was that light on the other side even if my life was desolation.

I thought not everything was always as bad as it seemed.

But one day I realized it was in vain.

My hope slowly faded.

My world saw nothing for me.

I only remained in a world of hopelessness.


Throughout this life, I never fully lost myself. The undying desire to finally give into the tempting submission known as rest berated my mind. Alas, the bag of meat and bones I had the displeasure of being wouldn't condone such action as the air continued to be too frigid, sending me into a shiver that juxtaposed my notions to even consider stopping. What I considered divine intervention only compelled me to keep going yet the urge to lay down and expire had set itself on the other side of the balance keeping the balance unfathomably close to tipping. I could only plead that the balance would finally be upset. The echoes of death's whistle reverberate as it journeys through my hair to my ears, but feels so far away.

The deep and churning void in my abdomen that yearned for food cried out on deaf ears. Where was something to feed it before it moved on to consume me from the inside out? I considered eating anything now. Oh, how those villagers I would come across would be a treat. Disemboweling couldn't be that hard, could it? To cut through the skin and muscle wall with my claws as I watch the guts– no; not again. I would rather starve, but just the need for something to finally devour had also been devouring any working moral synapse that was left in my dense skull. The meat will feed me if I must.

Everything has just felt– the same. The change was welcome in my eyes, but never seemed to have a fraction of a chance of occurring. Sometimes I hoped that I would open my eyes to something else other than this desolate wasteland that continued into somewhat of a pattern, as if I had been traveling in circles. Circles. Circles. The circles stared back. Circles of hatred and fear. Circles of many varieties rested behind the eyelids of those who spotted me. Something that is only a coalescence.

So young, I am. Finally being an adult after years of torture, but still looking so young. It wouldn't matter as it was anyway, as I could never approach anyone in a way that would keep them from running or immediately closing shop. Monster. The usual outcries of anyone I was within eye shot of. Monster. Beast. Killer. Soon-to-be well-fed killer if the coat of words covered me. To eschew or be eschewed would be the best for any sane man's longevity at this point.

Comparable to a wolf that frothed a lethal foam from the mouth spreading disease to others through the slime of its saliva, wearing pure schizophrenic episodes with a matte of fur stained in its feces, urine, and blood. I wasn't too far from the stupor that led into it, but nor was I that disgusting to neglect some kind of dignity. It was the missing look of the walking cadaver that I had become to truly make a rabid animal out of me. The absolute insanity of that which threatened to take over, to replace my sentient thoughts with the mere thought of a mindless predator trying to survive. A vile beast that knew no limitations. A being wherein the only realistic measure of halting its rampage would be his death.

Death must be a touchy subject, no? The fact that after any eyes have closed, the eternal darkness envelops everything forever. The possibility of being reborn into something else, maybe. Could it be that there's somewhere one's consciousness goes? Why is it impossible to imagine not existing at all? Is any of this real? Alas, it is. The driving force of all life is to escape death, or at least run until it becomes futile. Why not welcome it at any time? If it cannot be escaped, why not be ready to face it at any time? Laughing at death will only provoke it.

"Come get me, you cowardice-wearing fool," I spat before giving a soft chuckle. I knew it would be soon enough from the whistle of the wind nearing. Fear itself no longer resided in my mind, as it had been replaced by the longing for death. The forbidden fruit I held but couldn't stomach of the purely rancid nature it possessed. The same rancid nature I wouldn't mind devouring, especially after a few more restless nights I know lie ahead. What could be the worst that happens? Could it be that I repeat this life? Maybe I should keep going. Yet, seeing if this is the way out sounds so much more enticing. The last ingredient. The secret.

A shiver down the unprotected patchy fur of my back pulled me from the thoughts I had. The hints of progressing alopecia had run its course as I no longer wore the once beautiful coat of fur I once had like a medal of honor. One notable thing is that somehow my skin under the fur is also striped. The scars have become more pronounced as well. Each scar remains a reminder of how close to being gone I truly am. Each late-night slice to distract from the deep emotional turmoil I thrived in. One slice is all it can take for liberation. To only feel my life drain from the very body I wished to no longer be in sounded enticing. A sacrifice to the earth below to give back what the monster took. A beautiful crimson-red decoration to the cold snow that covered my hind paws.

The snow has become a welcoming last resort of a bed that was too cold to sleep on. The depth of winter loomed heavily above threatening to crush me under a possible avalanche. It's hard to comprehend being in this for so long without any form of heat or shelter, but I managed. I at least managed when the cold wasn't so bad, but it seems that tonight had a mind of its own to torment those who dared step out of their cozy homes. Here I was, walking in it as if it were a usual stroll comparable to any other day, numb to it.

Numbness. The indifference to emotion or physical feeling was really the reality to me lately. My skin could no longer recognize any feeling, yet the joints below thrived in a frozen agony. Every sprain, impact, or overuse of anything left me in a bubble of agony that I have the masochistic pleasure to call home. The agony chained itself to every part of my decrepit frame running deep into my chest. It hurts to breathe to the extent that each breath was sharp from the intense pain in my back, along with the air being so cold it burned too much to even sniff. Asthmatic if it could be called a name.

The sun had made its way back around to give some dawning illumination to the unchanging landscape I traversed. For anyone knows how long it's been. The line between days and months is a blur anymore. Winter only began yesterday, but it was in its depths today. Life only began weeks ago, yet I've lived through so much of it I can't tell if I am elderly. Life has become a drunken bastard behind the illusion of wonder. Some days aren't bad at all, even going as far as describing them to be quite peaceful, while others test the will to survive. Abhorrent.

Throughout life, I've truly learned so much. Regrettably, through all the parchments and scrolls I had stolen to learn anything, no assortment of letters into words discovered or undiscovered within the confines of our lexicon which describe what, or how I felt. Similar can be assessed to describe how much I no longer want to feel in this life. To crudely say in a way that gets the point across is that life is just like defecating in one hand and putting wishes that come true in the other. Which one fills up first? Unless it is the sick bastard that wished the other hand would fill up first, the other hand stays cleaner than a tree's vocabulary.

Feelings. An anchor destined to drown any person whether it be strong or weak at the bottom of an ocean of emotions. Something that makes the strongest of wills, worthless. There is nothing that can be done to ever escape. It is only just ruses and locked doors. We live in the room we die in, the room within the clutches of our mind.

The only thing I could do was wander, as my legs seemed to just move on their own. Mindless they had become. Though as time passed it seemed my legs took me in what was finally a good direction. The snow had begun to thin out from its usual swamping depth as the temperature had eased into something much more comfortable. I could finally see more than just the peaks of mountains that surrounded me from all sides, as it undoubtedly was spring in the distant valleys I now saw. My wandering had taken much longer than I originally anticipated.

Time, so valuable it is. It can almost be a 'forbidden to waste' currency that many do anyway, regardless of their depictions of its true value. Time is priceless, as is the notion that it is everything. Always so limited, but so vast. The idea is that so many generations have lived and died, while each would only exist for so many years. How a son or daughter will never get to see a great-great-grandfather or grandmother or vice versa. How the greatest alive currently will only be remembered by word or descendants after their deaths. Everything just seems so short in life, as if the allotted time were a curse or just a trial of what could truly be experienced. Where is my mother or father? Will I ever get to see them before any of us die? Will I ever get to find out where they went, or if they died? Maybe they just abandoned the mistake that I am.

I never felt the loving touch of someone who was my flesh and blood. The love of someone who labored for a term to push me out. The love of someone who truly wanted what was best for me and did their best to guide my decisions in the right direction. The love of someone who would sacrifice everything if it meant that I could live another day. Someone to tell the bedtime stories that would lure me to sleep. The warm meals would have helped me grow into something that wasn't such a lesion in the world.

I am worthless. Something that could be compared to the feces of a criminal. Not even the orphanage I grew up in from birth until a few years ago saw me as something worthwhile. Nobody would ever see more in me than just being a despicable leech on anything I was near.


"Of all the places, you could have ended up. Why didn't you end up dead? We only pity you because you can't live on your own. You owe it to us because we let you live." The old hag of a goat slammed her cane on my door as it flew open. "Your parents must have had a world of relief when they abandoned you. Who would want such a disgrace of a child? Who would want a damned monster? You were never meant to be here. All you do is fuck up everything you touch. You hurt so many of my kids that you should live in prison at this point. I honestly can't tell if you truly want to play with them, or if you are out for bloodlust." The goat stomped over to me, and began beating me with her cane. A beating I had no longer been phased by, as it had become routine. A repetition. All I wanted was just someone to accept me. All I wanted was to finally have something worthwhile in life. Minutes passed as she realized that nothing would phase me anymore about her. She stared into the back of my head with daggers as she paced out of the room and slammed the door behind her. "Enjoy wasting away." Such a bitch she had become. It had not always been so bad. There was a time when she did care, but as I grew older, she could not figure out how to help. She tried to help me around the other kids, but no matter how she approached me; my recklessness always had someone hurt or something demolished at the end of the day. Hopelessness laced with pity became resentment. Resentment became hatred. Hatred had become a common theme around me, as I would come to begin to hate anyone who stepped foot around me. A hatred invoked by fear that I would be relentlessly abused or shunned. The catalyst that would eventually lead me to be evicted by the time I had become old enough to provide for myself. The orphanage, by no means, had not seen a better day than that day.

The months that followed my divorce from the orphanage only began to define who I would become. The countless stealings, would leave me beaten within inches of my life by the wrong person or guard to fuck with solidified my life of crime. Encounters that would banish me from countless villages over the next coming years. The word about a 'monster' that ravages villages would begin to spread. Nobody would help me anyways, but I could at least help myself. Growing larger and stronger than everyone else had its perks. The invocation of fear into the hearts of anyone around gave me the chance to go for the taking. A taking that would often feed me or acquire a garment to protect me from the harsh conditions I had been subjected to for years. At least from my stealing, the personal stolen additions I keep close are a black cloak and a black jing mask that only shows a blue stripe down the middle. It never kept away the elements like my other garments, but only hid my identity as I did my deeds. You need to survive somehow, right?

The scars only collected. Wounds that some people would worry were lethal, were subsequently papercuts to me. Nothing but a simple scrape to be shrugged off. A simple tourniquet and intricately done cauterization would help. I owe my life to whomever invented black powder. The blood would almost always stop when the powder ignited. The resulting burns were invited as they signified that the blood had stopped. If only I didn't have to take it carefully afterwards, I wouldn't have seemed different after the injury. Alcohol had become a fateful ally as the infections would sometimes grow rancid. Infection was the only thing that hindered me as it threatened to cause an unwanted amputation that never happened. There was always recovery before anything ever reached that point. Years I had spent stuck on the same route. Years establishing myself as the so-called 'monster' of the mountain valleys I roamed.


The world around seemed to grow so vibrant as the stale color that once coated everything faded into the past. I had finally begun to make it somewhere that wasn't so void of life, or stale.


The night was pitch black as all that could be seen through the haze of the blizzard was the glow of the lanterns that lit each of the villagers' houses. A starved tiger waits for all homes to cease activity and go dark perched on a roof making sure he wouldn't be spotted by curious eyes. It patiently waited, intent on finding at least something to feed the aching stomach that felt as if it were being pulled out of itself to digest for the recent months. The eyes of the tiger only grew feral as each house one-by-one began to go dark. The dark that indicated stealth wasn't such a necessary skill to behold. The aid of the harsh howl of wind only made things so much easier to go for and not plan out. The tiger should have put more forethought into what he was about to get himself into.

The tiger leapt from his position to the snowy path below. Quite the efficient scout he had become. Something that could have been used for good, only if he changed his ways. His eyes and ears stayed alert as anything could go haywire at any moment. He never needed to be reminded twice. He flowed through the village like the water flows through a stream. In and out of tight spaces he was as he blended in and allowed himself to almost morph into something else out in the open. Even if he thought everyone was asleep, there could always be that one. He had become the shadow of the town in the search for a broken lock, cracked open window, or at least something to lead him into the food.

The shadow of the town had another shadow. A 'worthy' opponent had been following the tiger. A vigilante of some sort that knew of his legend. Someone who thought that they were the hero who could stop the monster. A poor body that would regret its decisions. A poor body that would end up being a warning in the village center.

The tiger felt something stab into his left shoulder blade. Ambush. The tiger turned with haste to come face to face with a kin to the felines, an older male leopard almost his size. The leopard was covered in scars from head to lower torso while his left eye was patched over likely due to a past conflict. The leopard had a smug look on its face wielding their own right handed bow, like it had gotten the upper-hand. The tiger only stared through his mask with eyes of irritation that started to convey that the killing was about to start through slits. The tiger emanated a growl deep enough to swallow any brewing words of his attacker. The leopard visibly shrank in his stature realizing he tempted a force to not be tempted. The tiger's claws unsheathed as he slashed with his right paw right across the chest of the leopard leaving exposed bone and muscle in its trail of destruction causing the leopard to drop the bow. The leopard seemed stunned until their own fight-or-flight sense kicked in. Its own claws extended, ready to kill. It lashed out trying to claw at this cloaked and masked figure. The flawed defensive stance the leopard had from its panic only ended up being to its detriment. The tiger only avoided each attempt by taking the clawing to each arm, retaliating by knocking the leopard off balance. With swiftness the tiger clawed the leopard's face with his left paw ripping open the leopard's right cheek, eyelid, and forehead. The leopard fell on its back holding its face along with his chest as both soaked with blood. Each heartbeat only sprays out blood from the leopard's mortal wounds. The smell of blood only enticed the tiger into a deeper desire in hunger.

"Gaahhh! You Fucker!" The leopard spat only being muffled by the howl of the wind. "You.. You will pay!"

All words fell on deaf ears. The tiger had hungered enough. The beast starved. The leopard started to lose its own sanity as the swift blood loss lured it into a lifeless trance into unconsciousness. The tiger grabbed the now unconscious leopard by the neck dragging it out of the town and far into the distance. The preparation for the feast was underway.

Unknown to the tiger, fate had it out for the leopard as the countless heinous crimes it wore as a coat outweighed the atrocity the tiger had committed. Innocence is what the unknowing eye would perceive the leopard as, but it was never innocent. The tiger had simply done a favor for many that night, whether it would know of it, or not. The feast has begun..


The thought loomed over my mind as I tried to shake it. I had vowed to leave that specific memory behind, even leaving my prized cloak and mask as well. The memory that clung to my mind tighter than the reputation of a prostitution epicenter being placed on a bar designated for prostitution which vows no such thing happens there. The taste of– no. He must have been a father, a brother, a son, or a friend. I took that away from him. I took it away from everyone who knew him. Do I deserve to be here..? I looked around at the lush environment. The trees sparse but so close. The bamboo is so uniform, but so unorganized. The grass is so green, but so golden from the sunlight overhead. I turned to look at the mountains behind me. I should have died that night without a doubt.

A pinkish flower petal landed on my nose that felt as if it had an ethereal power to it. I traced my digits to the tip of my nose as I picked it off. A vibrant scale of white to pink It beheld. The deepest pit being so pink it brought a deeply caring feminine feel to this moment. The farthest reaches being so white that it feels untainted. It feels so pure as if it was trying to pull away the coat of my past. It felt like a calling to liberate myself from this disgusting life I live. The absolute shame that my parents would feel if they ever cared in the first place would be crippling if they could see what I've become. A change truly felt necessary in this moment where I could decide between it and dying back in those forsaken mountains. I am beginning to feel that my time as this monster is going to come to an end. Or at least I hoped this was the case. It's much easier being hypocritical than being responsible.

The walk to the depths of the valley below not trailing any path actually felt peaceful. The warmth of the now spring weather brought much of the lost feeling back I once longed to get rid of.


The sound of a young tiger crying can be heard. The thick sobs as the tiger was beginning to realize that it had nobody. The tiger thought it would be alone for the rest of what life it wanted to have left. The old hag had blown up on him earlier that night as she finally couldn't take her own failures in helping him.

"Nobody wants me," The tiger spat before continuing his episode of sobbing. Each item in his room had been destroyed, all except his clothing. No toy remained, no complete bed nor bed sheet remained. The frame of his cot had been shattered and heavy with claw marks. Some small stains of blood lie around from the accidents that had happened when he let his strength get the better of him. Often just a bad scrape or a simple cut as something caught his arm or bottom paws in his clumsiness or fit of rage.

The lack of his own control only was the result of the ignorance of those who he was around. Admittingly, nobody in that place was like him, but it was always worth some kind of try to help. Nobody had the right touch of what to do, or how to do it if they had an idea.

"Nobody wants me. Nobody needs me. Nobody cares." The tiger once more commented before breaking down into more cries. There would to his detriment not be an answer.


The world around beckoned me to follow along, to actually search for something missing. Something that led me to start realizing that, I may no longer be my former self at least after a while. A change in mind and heart will never be instantaneous. The change of the environment was something I needed dearly. Delusions only start when one is choked until their body starves.


A stomach crying for help could be heard behind a locked door. The tiger had not eaten in a while as his appetite had long gone away. The tiger only wanted to feel what he felt he deserved. Fog clouded his mind as he lived through hallucinations which drug through his mind destroying everything it could touch. Something like a serrated blade that cuts through flesh shredding the nerves in a jagged cut that brings a haywire feeling of pain mixed with a mental void only imagining what the cut could do.


Maybe I am in an illusion. All of this was just too surreal to actually be true. I can almost swear up and down that I am dead. It's all too good to be true. It all has to be a dream. I'm still in the orphanage imagining every moment I could have. It can't be true. Maybe the leopard was eating me. It has to be something else.

I stopped in my tracks as I dug a claw into my left arm, wincing at the abrupt pain I felt. Maybe the leopard was clawing away, or one of the guards, or just myself stuck in my daydreams as a child. Did a villager get an upper hand? Did I fall? What is going on? The reality feels so surreal that it's ultimately fake. I looked to my arm as the few inch long deep gash began to bleed. My already dirt and blood stained fur is dying itself a deeper crimson. I clenched my arm into a fist as I watched the wound morph becoming thinner or wider than its original appearance. The years of feeling deep agony from any cut or wound had only helped me develop a resistance toward it. No stab wound, broken bone, torn ligament, ripped muscle would hinder my ability to ignore most of the pain. Even with the cold no longer picking away at me, anyone else who possessed this body would croak when the untrained will felt the agony it was in I had come to deal with.

This body should have been done many years ago. The number of stab wounds, broken limbs, torn muscles, or whatever else there could possibly be would outnumber the imperial army all-together in the short time I've lived. It's surprising that this body has not rejected my spirit yet. How has this body not died yet?

Before long, the world around me had closed in since my descent into the forest had become part of the next trek of my journey. Tall trees had intertwined within each other dancing as if an old love story that started long before even my ancestors were unfolding. The gentle breeze that ruffled the fur on my head brought the sound of rain, yet it was only the leaves that rustled together.

The cold that once ravaged my body had fully departed through each step I took. The ache the cold induced in my joints only remained, yet it wasn't the daymare it once was. My stomach still cried for something at least while my mind cried for some form of rest whether I set down or fell asleep. I couldn't stop then even if I truly wanted to. I needed to at least find somewhere that I could rest.

Noon took hold of the world as if it was its hostage. Exhaustion began to ruffle my body as if it were a gentle wind, bringing an onslaught of yawns. The surrounding trees had ended their dance of love as vast open fields lie ahead. Beams of sun glittered in my eyes as I looked up through some trees I passed under. The harsh reality is, even if I had found my way to somewhere better, I am still alone in this world. The world could be so small and be so populated, but I still won't find anything worthwhile. It may be worth the try in the end. Though It may only be the end of my time by then.


A wounded tiger trudges through the snow leaving a trail of blood. Few were easy while massive groups had the upper hand. Few massive groups had weapons. Unfortunately for the tiger, he had chosen the very wrong group to target. While a few good punches and clawings took a few down while others merely discombobulated the others a bit, these were much more skilled combatants than the usual group that he faced. Few found enough of an opening to engage the tiger. Lacerations soon covered the tiger as papercuts or deeper wounds that if unkempt could mean his demise. The papercuts covered his torso, while the deeper wounds on his limbs were beginning to threaten his movement. He had to get out of there. Just a simple stealing of some food had turned into his possible death. At least this was a group of bandits and not the commoners of any nearby village. He continued to trade strikes and blows focusing on his surroundings as such to ensure he was not taken down or killed. These moments allowed him to find some sort of value in his survival, and he was not going to let a group of bandits continue their conquest or take him down in his mission. Even if he did bad, there was always a way he wished he could redeem himself. Maybe the leopard was too much of an overbearing on him finding redemption. Keeping keen with his defense, manages to take down the last of the remaining bandits at least before one had managed to slice his back. The shrill agony spread through his glute's to his very toes as the other waves clouded his mind bringing him to his knees as the result of a mere pluck of the nerve.

He stood and ran away the very second he could at least think straight enough to control his limbs. Through the biting cold he went as it dove deep into his wounds constricting any extruding blood flow that had remained, temporarily sealing them until he could get them taken care of. Each step was agony as the laceration across his back also damaged some muscles responsible for balance. He then stared at both arms where other deep cuts were as he could see muscle though the dried blood on his cuts. As he flexed his arms, he watched each muscle strand stretch and contract. A lot was learned about his own anatomy from the resulting injuries he has sustained over the years.

"Dammit," he spat. "If I knew they would have been that much I would have stolen from someone else." The time he would be in shock was now wearing thin as he made his way far from the camp hoping that when his adrenaline high was over, they couldn't find him. The heavy nausea began to settle in as his sense of balance began to whirlpool. His face felt cold as his legs metaphorically turned into boiled noodles. His vision began to tunnel as his stomach felt at an unease.

"Agh. I–" He couldn't speak another word as he was just trying to breathe calmly to at least sponge up some of his nausea. A sense of electrical shock that hummed in his head didn't do much on the flip side to help as he ended up vomiting. Yet to say that nothing much came up except numerous thick sounding retches and whatever acid his stomach could push out. The retching lasted what seemed like forever, but after the exertion, he passed out. The only wish would have been for someone to at least see his distress and help. Nobody came. The lone wolf or what shall be said, tiger, for this matter remains.


Solidarity solitary is life's plan it seems. Many hours in just a single direction had not led me to even an almost never used path. I may just end up becoming the monster of this land as well by the time I finally find a place at this pace. Sometimes it only feels as if it's the only destiny that I am allotted to in this waste of a life. I didn't want it to happen again.

My eyes pierced through the terrain looking for any form of civilization in the distance. My vision was keen but unable to react well due to the obvious fact that my nutrition was running a deficit. The lack of food is killing me slowly. At least I am able to drink some water whether it be from snow or a running stream untainted by another's waste.

Hours had seemed to pass in an instant as nothing still lay ahead. The extent of my exhaustion began to settle in causing me to stumble every step, threatening to collapse.. Distant mountains are still so large behind me, yet so much smaller than what I thought they would be walking away from them. I couldn't get out of there fast enough as it was. Blazing sun above had shifted in the sky resting just above the mountains in the distance. Only if I had some sense of direction of where I actually wanted to go would it help. Even with my literacy, I was never sure about many other things. My sense of direction never failed to disappoint even with basic knowledge that should have helped. "The sun rises in the east and sets to the west. North is ahead if east is on your right. South is ahead if east is on your left." Yet I honestly don't understand what that does mean. What is the importance of such a direction if you never had a map that has a 'you are here' on it. Anymore, it's just a mindless wander.

The wind had picked up a bit more as the evening cool had settled in. The fresher air was more of a relief for this moment as the bearing sun had warmed my fur quite a lot on the day of walking I had. It is not that it was unbearable, it was really that it was too comfortable. A comfort that would end up laying me down for a rest I honestly wanted to avoid. I did not want to lose any time I had remaining just sleeping it away.

The sun had laid its way behind the mountains in the distance as I glared around looking for somewhere to go, or really just anywhere where I could make camp. Relief struck me much like the rise to normalcy after the initial shock from an injury wore off. A small village in the far distance had become visible. The land around had almost completely turned to fields with the exception of groups of trees that coated the ground much like the plentiful white wool balls that floated in the sky before the storms arrived. The village was not much larger than the ones that I came across in the mountains. It had the basic houses and community buildings that were necessary for any village to thrive in these lands as well as a simple farm that offset a bit so things didn't feel so tight.

Step by step I made my way towards the village holding onto a small burst of adrenaline. There was no stopping now as I knew I could at least find somewhere. Whether the villagers would be welcoming would determine if I remained in my archaic ways or not. It wouldn't honestly hurt to truly see what was thought about me in this new landscape. Sometimes the death of many rests on the decision of a few. The sickened and sadistic grin on my face only grew. After all that's why there are wars. The power hungry individuals who see us as disposable. The poor man fighting the wealthy man's war. It's ingrained throughout our entire existence. We are always at the mercy of who holds the power unless one would want to be an outlaw, a break in the endless chain of slavery others hold the unfortunate in being fed the bullshit that they are free. The only slavery left is what the mind binds us to. The concept of free will will always exist but is just a myth once the mind is betrayed. Insanity is the resulting loss of free will.

Insanity is such a wild ride. The loss of control that can lead to pure terror with no hint of delight on the flip side of the coin only coated in dread. A trapped spirit that cannot think, but only live the thoughts that lead them to where they were. A mindless body that roamed the lands only seeking destruction and vague non-discriminatory genocide of what it observed. Whomever it was seen was waste before another thought could be had. Insanity was a new beginning, as much as it was the end. Best known as 'the beginning of the end' if it couldn't be stopped.

I stood before the village as the ocean of gold above this world shone well enough to illuminate everything before me in a vast ocean of gold hues. The sight of villagers roaming the streets at least showed that the place wasn't sparsely numbered, but it really was a thriving community. I took a few steps entering the village looking around at the buildings as many began to blend and blur, while an all so familiar buzz etched its way into the depths of my skull and limbs. Lightheadedness took over as I began to stumble, the sight of some villagers beginning to stare with fear yet changing to slight concern over the public display of my body beginning to fade from life. I felt the ground rise to my knees as I planted my paws firmly on the ground before me trying to fight the dark.. The deep buzz in my mind wearing the remaining consciousness away into an unconsciousness much like that of a wood carving that left the figurine behind in the shadow of its original form.


Pulsating static enveloped my vision bringing waves of beautiful patterns much like when I would put pressure on my closed eyes. A pattern that was never repeated, but always morphed into something else. The pattern had given way to a world of which I never had dreamed of before. The feeling of any kind of force that kept me planted to a solid ground was not there. A world before me which had several islands which were floating many relics of buildings of the past, a quiet and serene place. This place was something I had begun to traverse for a while as it brought an absolute feeling that nothing here could ever go wrong.

There had always been a silver lining throughout all the stereotypical pain and suffering that made most of it almost worth it to reach. The story that it had to tell after oh so long often was a tale that would be formidable or a waste. The entitlement of others to vouch that their lives were 'so terrible' whenever the worst they had to go through was an honest day's work, always struck a nerve with a dull blade. Had they been stabbed or beaten numerous times? Had they almost died on numerous occasions? Had they had to go weeks without a proper meal? Oh, what about numerous days at a time without any form of sleep eventually wasting into it through the delusions of their mind that eventually plagued them into it? Ah that's right, their significant others will not quit their onslaught of bitching about their own entitlement. They didn't get the last cookie from the jar. Oh so sad, dad wouldn't be home that night due to his job or venture that he had to go on. Oh how it would be nice to have parents just to whine and cry about them every chance that was remotely possible because they didn't do this or do that? I had practically nobody in this damned life, and the best part is that those that I ever did eventually turned on me anyways. Fuck off.

In my thoughts I failed to recognise a feeble presence of which was slowly surrounding me. The short bursts of a warm wind swirling around, was enough to halt the thoughts vaulting their way into the heart of my mind. I darted my vision around in vain as I couldn't tell if something was there or if it was the otherworldly gusts of wind I had not noticed before. A feeling of a hand on the end of my tail shocked me from my observations as I still looked in vain at nothing. The grip still held as it began to make its way up my tail, looping around it as it reached my lower back wrapping itself around my torso as well. It trailed its way further and further as it followed my spine and dived into my head when it reached the base of my skull which connected to my spine. The buzzing returned with a jolt of a fulfilling energy that had been deprived of its usual debilitating void that sucked my life away.

I breathed a sigh of relief as this seeming entity felt so welcome, yet shriveled as it had been something foreign that hosted itself inside of me. Parasitic, I hoped it hadn't been, since this world was something of dreams. All speculation was settled as its force clicked something of an understanding that provoked the feeling of symbiosis. It was hard to really feel how it had been done as it didn't feel like a dam which redirected the waters of one stream to another, but more so a way that conveyed that one stream was less desirable to take than the other. Free will was left on the table, with an educated idea of the right choice.

"Best hope your intentions don't test my patience or test the validity of my integrity," I spoke with a deep river of stoicism. The feeling had been entertained by my words as it dissipated, leaving behind a newfound energy of which its value could not be compared to the purest gold. I could still tell it was there from the unusual comfort I felt, It would only show itself when it was truly needed. The world around froze, bringing a deep green across the world like going through a tunnel. I looked toward the direction It had come from only seeing a jade colored orb flying at me. The orb sprouted into a jaded dragon which had a wide maw ready to feast. I shrunk down in fear, waiting for everything I now had to be taken, ready to meet my maker only to–.


I shot awake, setting up with a gasp of air, holding my chest. My heart was ready to rupture out of my chest beating away at my lungs. I couldn't seem to catch an actual breath of air for an eternity. My field of view flying around the room I laid in. My residence had been in a simple unfurnished cabin room with a bit of clutter laying in some places like it was a storage room. I had been placed in a cot which was set in the middle of the room against a wall having a window overlooking it. A door parallel with the window opened with a figure of similar stature to mine which was illuminated with the sun that perfectly lined the doorframe. A female leopard stood at the door looking me over as I stared back. Eyes of a burning gold blanketed a soft comfort over the spirit the sudden presence rocked.

"I see you're finally up after– a few days." A young but matured, feminine, and rich voice spoke. She spoke with a gentle calm, intending to try to lure me along with it. All I could do was nod in response, seeming a bit confused..

"Not much of a talker are you?" Responses only came in times of vain or of need to hold a deeper explanation.

"If needed." My tone, dry, having just used my voice once more after a long while, and as well as having just woken up after succumbing to my injuries.

"I see." Her eyes looked around my form, almost scoping out for something amiss, meeting up once again with my eyes.

"You clearly are not from around here. As far as I can tell you must be a long way from home." I shook my head, eyes looking down to the cot below.. I had never had a home as it was, so I am nowhere close nor far from somewhere I never had.

"I have nothing." I stared back with my usual unfeeling expression. Her eyes closed in understanding before she nodded.

"I know how that feels. It's been quite a few years myself. I had been dropped off by my mother who was trying to escape from a broken home and kingdom ruled by my father. We made it here luckily. Unfortunately she had perished from previous injuries sustained in trying to escape the ruthless clutches of my father. I hope the bastard is dead." She paused, reminiscing in her thoughts gazing off in a random direction trying to find any closure. Her presence and clear resemblance to a familiar leopard became very well unsettling as that night began replaying its events in my mind leading my eyes to the floor. A deeper and deeper loop realizing that I did both a good deed and heinous crime in a thin veil of time. A thought that would never be rationally revealed.

"I see.." I spoke, looking her in the eyes.

"What about you..?" I shook my head. Such a simple question had uprooted any calm that had nestled its way to me, injecting everything I had wished to forget.

"Are you sure?" She spoke with disappointment.

"Drop it." I said with hostility, shaking my head once more looking from her to the floor. Thinking about everything I had gone through was not something I had wished to do. Even suppressing the last bouts of trauma I was awarded by the great forces of life, it proved to be a battle fought in vain. Every waking moment is filled with flashes of memories from each individual event. Every detail painted the floor before me deeper than my blood could ever stain my fur. A deep wave washed over me causing me to feel every physical injury I had been dealt, pulsating with a dull ache causing my body to tremble in its own ocean of anxiety and agony. Phantoms had manifested their way to life, yet I could only see and feel them. I am stuck in every moment without mercy, playing worse and worse. Some were distorted truths of what had transpired, yet others blended into true nightmares which could kill the strongest willed beings around. Each pulsation of trauma only sped the deep pounding of my heart that resonated throughout my body. My throat tightened as I had begun to struggle to catch any breath while my lungs took a pounding from my heart. Both paws rose to the sides of my head. Claws extended and drove into the scalp of my head drawing blood. Closing my eyes tightly, I let out a deep shaky sigh once I could catch a deep breath. A single strained word left my lips.

"No." A presence had made itself known in front of me.

Opening my eyes, she knelt before me staring with a deeper concern that could be felt deep within the wells of molten gold that her eyes were. Her left hand held her left knee that supported her kneeling on her right. Her right paw had extended to be placed on my left shoulder.

"Clearly it's nothing to pry on." Her eyes never moved a grain of rice away from staring deep into mine. Something about the eyes brought a feeling of serenity upon my nerves. My paws dropped from either side of my head down to my sides stained in blood. The warmth began draining down each side of my head. Drip, drip, drip. A burning feeling from each puncture drew my mind away from the mental agony to focus on the physical pain it had been dealt.

Self infliction had always been a temporary self distraction from the harsh reality that all problems should be faced head on. A simple leeway which distances any man from their demons long enough to feel freedom. Every cut, bruise, sprain, or break would always lead to some false sense of freedom. The focus the mind takes on physical pain outweighs its actions towards any mental pain. Yet the mental pain is why the physical pain ever came to be. A tempting loop that only ends in their own martyrdom.

"Hey!" I had been looking towards the ground again. I looked back to her eyes once more, feeling her shake my shoulder. The golden orbs stared around my head assessing what would be needed in the coming moments.

"Stay here, though I doubt you can walk as it is. Let me grab something for that," she said, hopping up and out of the room briefly. It took no time at all for her to return with some cloth, a bottle along with a bowl of some kind of paste which was foreign to me. She stood before me examining the marks left on my head as the blood had long stopped running. She carefully took a bit of the cloth soaking it with the substance in the bottle. Each gash was cleaned as if a bed of nails were being walked on to do so. Before I really could register the transpiring events, a stinging pierced each wound as the paste had begun to be applied to each gash warranting a short wince.

"The Jinchuang can sometimes be a quite potent ointment depending on what is used in it. I prefer to use some aloe as it helps with any resulting irritation. The stinging will cease in due time," she said, beginning to wrap my head with the remaining cloth making sure to leave each gash covered completely. She turned to leave the room once more, taking everything she brought in back with her. In her absence I went to stand, my temptation overbearing to prove her wrong. Taking a step I realized I may have been out a while as my legs had atrophied enough my weight couldn't be supported alone by them. I must have only been able to use what was left. I dropped to my knees as I fell forwards, stopping my complete collapse with my extended paws. Rushed footsteps were heard as the leopard hurried back into the room by my side once more lifting me back up.

"I did say that I doubt you could walk. You really thought you could prove me wrong?" she spoke with a chuckle following a knowing tone mixed with stark amusement. She helped me back in the cot setting up below the window. She stood at the foot of the cot staring into a random direction before sighing.

"What can we at least converse about that intrigues you enough to actually speak?"

"Like?"

"Why are you here?" A pair of eyes had looked towards me. I stared back with a sigh parsing into vague thoughts which would help give a viable explanation.

"To escape."

"To escape?" She spoke, toning the last word to feel as if it was asking a question.

"A lot."

"You clearly don't want to talk about 'you', do you?" My only response was to shake my head, rewarding a soft sigh to be interrupted by a low growl of hunger. A grin smeared across her face.

"What's your favorite food?" I stayed silent only shrugging with an unknowing look before uttering some words.

"Something that doesn't kill me or make me sick."

"Well good, because I can only make some noodles until the next shipment of items arrives at our market. Would you want to come with me to the kitchen?" She said, offering her paw for me to take. I hesitantly reached as she pulled me to my feet with a surprising strength. I propped my body to hers wrapping an arm around her for some kind of support knowing well now that I cannot walk at least without some assistance. I had taken notice of my height allowing me to be able to see the top of her head, looking at the spots her fur decorated her head with.

We made our way through the surprisingly small single story home into a small kitchen area with a small table for two which could fit four if needed. She pulled the chair out a bit where I plopped down leaning on the back of it staring into the main area of the kitchen. A simple counter neatly assorted with whatever remaining fresh food there was, assorted cutlery and utensils, and a sink in the middle. A wood stove set off to the side where pots and pans were stacked waiting to be used. Not much decoration was around other than the potted plant or two used to bring some life other than the leopards own in this humble abode. She made her way over to the counter.

"Small and humble home you have here. I thought it would have been a bit larger," I said, wanting to break the newfound silence. She began with a chuckle.

"I'm no royalty here, but I actually do defend this small village. You'd think I would live somewhere with a few more rooms, but no. All I honestly need is this kitchen, my room, the bathroom, and a spare room 'just in case'. The spare room just came in handy." She chuckled at the last thought. Grabbing some of the garlic and some water with a cup from a large tub full of water off to the side. I was caught a bit off guard that she was any amount knowledgeable in some kind of fighting.

"Defender?" I asked, a bit dumbfounded.

"Yes." She set everything down on the counter and looked at me a bit unamused, dropping her whole comforting composure into that of someone ready to attack. Her voice began drowning in stoicism, piercing every thread holding her initially gentle image together. "Just because I am female doesn't mean I am incapable, does it?" I hadn't meant it like that.

"No.. I didn't mean that." I shrunk a bit in my seat, embarrassed. My tone became a bit agitated with the frustration directed toward myself before returning neutral. "Impressions I suppose." My words were met by a laugh.

"Consider that as some kind of proof until I can show you what I can do. Though, it's only intimidating because of your current condition, as well as the fact I know for sure you haven't had much help in life. You don't want to lose these moments. I'll save it for actual fuck-ups. But, I am a kung-fu warrior, just not an officially known one. I just know enough to keep my home safe and to assist against possible greater threats if the time had come. An encounter with an old friend stood me up to follow the trek."


A young leopard strolled through her home village with an older bunny. A simple trek that had been made many, many times. Though, their journey extended out of town towards a neighboring village. It all was just a simple stroll to just sight see and enjoy simple aspects of life that are often overlooked. The leopard throughout the simple life she lived in a calm and serene place, felt alone even in the presence of her adoptive father. It didn't matter how much fun she had with the friends she made, nor with anyone else who involved themselves in her life. Something had long felt missing to her. Being hard to explain, the only feeling that could have been made out was that she was just alone. This journey didn't prove to change or help with any of it as it only separated her from interaction. She gave a soft sigh that broke the eternal silence she had been in.

"Mei?" She looked at the bunny with her usual dull and blank stare.

"Yeah?"

"What is it that is the matter?" She shrunk a bit to his question, not wanting to answer with anything genuine. As she had grown older, her connection to much of anyone else had shrunk. She had grown to feel that nobody could truly understand how she felt, not even in the slightest. Years before she had to deal with her abusive father, and the loss of her mother in their escape from him. Who could understand that? Who could understand someone who was a feline while the others were either pigs, geese, bunnies, etcetera? Why is there nobody around like her, who could understand her as equals instead of predator-prey? Full interaction with the simple youthful ignorance of deeper emotion had ceased to dull and empty conversations that never failed to be short lived with her disengagement or clever cover ups.

"It's nothing. I just needed a deeper breath of air. Sort of felt stagnant for a bit, as it is a bit warm for me." She plainly stated.

"I suppose it is a bit warm. But you did shrink at my question. Actions speak louder than words. Yet sometimes, words, spoken loud enough, outweigh any future actions." The two stopped in their tracks. "I will ask again. What is the matter?" Another frustrated sigh followed.

"I don't want to talk about it." She spoke in shame.

"About what, exactly? Did someone do something to you? Are you sad? Are you what? I cannot help you when I am asinine in my knowledge to you personally." The bunny sighed. "I need to know…"

"You wouldn't understand."

"And you think you know me enough to know that? I was younger like you were once, I had my moments. Times have changed since then, but I at least know enough to maybe help you, even if it's a chip off the main issues." Mei's expression dropped, not eager to bleed her mind out, but there was not much of a choice now.

"Do you ever feel alone?" The bunny nodded with a sigh, finally getting some insight into his adopted daughter's turmoil.

"I do. Most times, it's when you're away for a bit or when I need to go somewhere on my own. The feeling is only temporary." He knew what she meant, but he needed to throw some humility her way to get her to explain more.

"No– I mean. Do you ever feel– constantly alone. Like even if you're given everything, have friends, and people who care. Do you just feel by yourself throughout it, like you never fit in in the first place? That there isn't someone like you, who actually understands you deeper than what everyone else actually does." The nail was hit on the head for the bunny.

"I do understand that feeling. Welcome to growing up. A lot of times, that gap can never be filled no matter who you interact with. It whole-heartedly takes just the right person's destiny intertwining with your own to do that. I believe you will meet that person, as you are incredibly unique in this world around you. We all are unique in our own ways, some of us choose to embrace what separates us from the others. We all have that 'charm'. It could be a smile, it could be the eyes, it could be just the personality, or even just be the way that you go about something. The charm that you have is a key to what someone else seeks. You could meet that someone tomorrow, or it may never happen. Don't look at that loneliness as a barrier that keeps you from enjoying life. It's simply just an obstacle, or something you can use to your advantage." Mei nodded as she had her realizations set in, bringing a tear to her eye.

"I– I wish I had asked sooner." She sniffled.

"Lying to yourself will only distract you to the truth that has always been at the tip of your tongue," an unfamiliar and older voice spoke.

Both turned to see a tortoise who had been standing by listening in. The bunny started.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." The old tortoise chuckled. "Your destiny is twisted, yet I also have no doubt will meet with another. For how long or when, I don't know!" His voice trailed off with gentle and happy exclamation as he took his staff and poked Mei in the chest while further adding confusion in his next words. "Even a deep forest of darkness is redeemable in the presence of what charms it to light."

"What do you mean," Mei asked.

"The future is only foreshadowed until it happens. You see this staff?" He held the staff up as it forwards towards the leopard's face being blocked by a paw before it could make contact. "You never know what's going to happen until it happens. The staff could have stayed in place, or fallen the other way. It's what you do with what you know that decides your destiny." The tortoise looked between the two. "Destiny is met on the path that is taken to avoid it. Close your eyes, young one, and hold out your paws." The leopard hesitantly listened. A light, cold cylindrical object fell into her hands. Her eyes popped open to see a jade green scroll in her paws. "Acceptance is a great power. One that will lead you to something far greater than fathomable."

Mei looked intently at the scroll, pondering. The bunny had also noticed her interest. They both looked up to see that the tortoise had vanished. Mei looked up and down the path only catching the silhouette of the tortoise slowly shrinking into the word down the way. She looked back to the scroll, opening it slowly as well as the parchment inside. It was inscriptions about kung fu with its fundamentals including how it should be approached and basic moves. Opening it more, a small note fell out to the ground. Mei leaned down to pick it up after she had rolled things back together so as to not make a complete mess.

I reside in a palace of jade. You can always send a letter.

- Oogway


"I keep in touch, a scroll every now and then is exchanged with a few personal visits as well, my letters being mostly straightforward while the latter is riddles and universe stuff. Sometimes another scroll about some interesting kung fu move I should learn would be sent too. I am sure I am due for or to a visit, but it's just really a matter of when or if it happens."

Throughout her rant, she had lit the stove, set a water filled pot on top, and shredded the garlic while mixing in a bowl with other ingredients I couldn't really identify. The wait for the water to boil had begun. Everything was set off to the side by the stove while she leaned back against the counter with both hands planted firmly staring off into the distance explaining away.

I glanced over her, studying. Her fur, unlike mine, was thick and well kempt as well as her clothing being in mint condition, unwrinkled. She wore a simple flat blue vest with some black outlinings to at least give it some kind of definition. Her pants were simple gray baggy pants with some wrappings on the bottom to avoid them getting in the way of her hind paws. I cannot think much about her body as I don't have a particular taste in the physicality, but simple presentation and impressions. The spots around her head and arms were interesting to say the very least, unlike the stripes on myself I had known forever. I dropped out of my daze with an amused question.

"Are you hungry enough you're thinking about eating me or are you mesmerized about what a female looks like?" I shook my head.

"Just studying. Simple attire, and good presentation." She nodded.

"Discipline. Though it seems you are a bit lacking in that area," She said, referring to the almost shredded pants I wore paired with emaciation of both my body and fur.

"I have no choi–"

"You do now." The water had started to boil. She took the ingredients on the counter and dumped them into the pot, following with a stir. The scent had begun to waft through the room causing my mouth to uncontrollably water. "You will need to clean up though before I find you something. I see to it that it must be temporary, as even if you are a bit tall, you do have a bit of outwards room. Hopefully you don't grow fat like some of the pigs in this place." I shook my head.

"I am the story that's told to bad kids before bed. I doubt I would let myself devolve into a total slob."

"Remind me which of the many stories you are, you seem like a scaredy cat to my hostility, no?" I had to give a sigh, shaking my head. "The Wore out Pussy?"

"Are you trying to get some kind of rise out of me?"

"Ah yes, the perfect name, Itty Bitty Shitty Kitty?" I didn't care for the names, but the cleverness was better than mediocre at least.

"Name calling won't work, so give up."

"I tried." She shrugged, beginning to prepare the noodles. "What kind of monster doesn't enjoy my joking. You most certainly are one if that's the ca–" A nerve was struck.

"Can it." I spat.

"That narrows it down." She gave a chuckle. "There's specific names you don't want to be called, so you dismiss all names. There's clearly a deeper name you don't want me to find and I found it. We have a few monsters at least around here that I know of. Notably, the one of the mountains west of here had always freaked me out hearing it. I doubt it's possible for you to have come from there as scrolls stated your species resides far north of here. I have to say the one not far north of here as it just seems to match you best. There's also one northwest of here too but it just feels like an actual fiction." I grew curious about her vague fear of what would be my story.

"What's the story of the one from the mountains?" She paused.

"Often when I had misbehaved I was told by my late father about the monster which resided in the mountains. They aren't too far from here either, yet there was some kind of discomfort knowing that it could hunt my devious ass down. It was worse knowing the monster is real as well." I continued listening rather intently, even though her views about what I am are wrong.

"I was told that this monster could smell unfinished food, or food left out, and just break in stealing it all, leaving the family starving into basically oblivion due to the harsh conditions disallowing much trading. It taught me to never let anything go to waste at least. But, it is the shadow in the night that is not often seen or heard, but the damage ends up being everlasting. I would hear countless things about how it would leave entire camps dead, or heavy with casualties at least. Though I feel some context was lost, thinking deeper about it in transition between ears and memories. The most disturbing part is rumor has it, he eats the living too." She shivered only thinking about it. She dumped the fresh noodles into the pot.

"I always feared, aside from them coming after me, that I would be the next meal. But it just seems that they have become a ghost as nothing has been heard in a bit. Hopefully they're dead, or something." She began to stir the pot, keeping the noodles from sticking and burning. "Now we wait." Silence fell on the room.

"I was hoping I died too." She tensed, almost freezing completely but managing to turn with a face full of discomfort.

"Wait– you– oh. Oh my." She shrunk a bit before she had a realization, mellowing out a bit.

"A good deed brings hope to the monster that holds no hope. I'm not to be feared. I just needed to survive." I looked into her eyes which seemed to be more flushed than usual. "You at least aren't the next meal, just simply making it. Nobody has ever been my meal."

"I– I. Huh. I figured you'd be a bit 'scarier'. You just don't seem to really fit that story." She turned back to the pot.

"I figured you'd be a bit more afraid." She stepped to the side grabbing two bowls, returning to the pot to scoop the noodles out into both inclusive of the broth that was made.

"If you were able to actually do something, I would keep my guard up, and the imperial army would be on the way. Your secret is safe, for now. Food is served," she said, setting both bowls on the table with two pairs of– sticks? She was about to sit down but my expression stopped her in her motions.

"What are those for?" I asked, confused, pointing to the sticks.

"You've never heard of chopsticks?" The realization hit her. "Ah… There was no time to learn to use them when you needed to eat. I can teach you though," she said, taking my right hand as each stick was placed and each finger was moved in a manner where my index and middle digit was in control of the top stick and the other was in control with my ring and pinkie digit. She then proceeded to squeeze my hand in a guided fashion that helped me understand the basic function of chopsticks. I pulled my hand to watch as I squeezed my fingers together opening and closing the chopsticks.

I never knew it would be so much harder than it looked. I couldn't for the life of me get the noodles to stay on the sticks. The laughs beside me were amplified each time I subsequently failed.

"Okay, okay. Let me help you out with that." She chuckled, grabbing the chopsticks and sitting in her seat. She immediately had the sticks loaded with a large amount of noodles ready for me to bite from. The humiliation felt soon to begin, but after not eating much the last several weeks, I no longer cared. I took a large bite of what noodles I could possibly get as I slurped up the rest of what the sticks held, swallowing. The flavor to say the least had caught me in a brief amazement. The feeding lasted at least another minute before I felt that I understood how the chopsticks worked.

"Mind if I take those back?" I asked. She nodded, handing back the sticks and taking her own. She chowed down. This time I luckily had quite a bit less trouble trying to feed myself. The remaining humiliation, if there was any to be had, would be saved for later.

It had not been too long and my appetite had slowed, making me a bit nauseous to continue eating a bite even through the belching that should have eased some of the pressure on my shrunken stomach. The remnants were a few noodles and the broth, which was no issue getting down the gullet as it would just fill in the empty space.

The leopard finished her own soon after as she grabbed both bowls and sets of sticks, dropping them off in the sink. She offered her paw once more as we both ended up back in the guest room soon after, both of us were sitting on the bed. We both held our gazes silently in each other's eyes.

She sat cross legged at the foot of the cot looking at me in the eyes once more before closing them. She seemed to ponder her own thoughts for a moment before she made a guided move with closed eyes. She placed her paws together to begin to mimic a clockwise motion only to extend one paw which began to emanate a low golden glow, slowly growing and sending a soft wave of the same warmth I had felt within my dream.

"Take my paw." Her tone sounded softer. I honestly saw no way out of this as running was impossible or even just standing to do so. Hesitantly, I placed my paw to hers as a wave washed through me. The world around had drowned out as the new world I now was in had a golden hue to it much like my dream. Looking down once more, the jade hue coated the void below extending far into the horizon meeting with the gold above in a thin seam that kept either from invading one another. I felt weightless as my senses tuned in. I looked around a moment before I laid my eyes on the leopard.


"Where are we..?" I spoke.

"Between existence and nothingness. A place where time is so fast, yet so slow all at the same time. As far as I know it's simply a spiritual connection in its own realm through our Qi."

"Qi?" I was confused.

"Our life force. Where the universe manifests itself in our mortal bodies," she spoke. I grew discomforted at the mention. "I spent some time here trying to learn something about you while you've been out. I have been trying to figure out how to tap into memories or just simple thoughts yet I'm not sure if it's possible if I were to want to advance my skills further. As far as I am capable of, I'm only able to heal which takes a lot out of me even for a scrape. At least so far I've been able to help some things that hadn't healed. It took time, yet I realized I could do it, which was a rise to say the very least." Pride in accomplishment, she wore, as a sash of nobility across her eyes and expression staring off into nowhere. I only nodded in response as a deep silence stagnated between us.

Someone actually cares about me, or at least until I get better. Regardless if they would become a threat or not, it still felt so welcome amidst all the torment I was bestowed. I gave a soft sigh.

"My memories and thoughts are your trauma if you dare. It would be smart to try it on someone worth the time." My expression dropped to hopelessness looking down once more.

What is happening? His aura had grown toxic to the world around as it seemed to shift to convey a deep feeling he was all too familiar with. My vision strewn itself around trying to find a source to no avail. It only turned back to darkness with deranged and volatile red eyes staring with serrated slits. The figure which blended in the darkness inched forwards. Each step invoking a deeper layer of terror stemming from its original trepidation.

I turned my gaze to see her in a dazed state turning to fear. The same face of fear whenever someone had seen me. Her eyes looked dead at me but slowly rose up before uttering a few words.

"Who are you?" I asked, the figure being inches from my face. Yet I was only met with a deep growl.

I made my way towards her being careful not to move too fast. I studied her face deepening in fear sprouting a mild curiosity.

"What are you?" My breath was sharp waiting for a death that felt unusually welcome.

"The monster." It grabbed my throat, lifting me in the air. It had begun to squeeze, cutting away any air that could nourish my lungs which would soon starve. A feeling of connection had started between the both of us, yet it wasn't what I had hoped for. The sense of insanity berated me into a wave of disgraceful thoughts that only felt natural. The thoughts were completely alien to me though, as terror was also on the horizon.

I watched as she lifted up, then struggled for air as the fur on her neck matted tightly against her skin. Yet I couldn't shake this feeling that I was being watched. I tried to make my way to her to help her.

A jade green dragon had made its way into my vision overlaying what I saw of the figure in front of me, choking me. Jaws wide open as it grew larger, flying towards me.

The fear had settled in when a loud roar consumed my ears. The hair stood sharp on the back of my neck as the ring of tinnitus grew louder.


I shot awake staring a similarly distressed leopard in the eyes that had gone dark since we must have been there the entire day. My breath weighed heavier than an asthmatic person after a marathon. I leaned forwards coughing as my lungs had begun to burn briefly prior to that. As much as I tried to cough out whatever burned, nothing could suffice. Coughing turned to a conglomerate of itself and dry-heaving.

Catching my breath from the break out, the damning thought that he was right loomed over me. Whatever foul beast he held inside would only continue to eat its way out until it took over. The beast must be killed or at least tamed. This is the monster I feared which controlled a gentle body. I looked to watch as a coughing fit grew into dry-heaves. I was afraid to interact with him, fearing it had also come out to play. Here I was petrified as a fossil in fear that we were still within his mind waiting for the worst moment. What If I had become 'The Monster'? It had its hands on me, and who is to say it didn't come with me? I only stared, unsure what I could do. Fear's burning eyes had met the monster's misunderstood but troubled ocean of eyes.

'Don't stare at me like that. Please." I begged in my mind. 'Don't shun me like everyone else. I'll do anything.' A long forced away feeling took control of my face, dropping my lips into a quivering frown as tears had formed. The fear had been clear on her face, possibly stunting any chance I had ever had at ever finding refuge from what I had become. My eyes dropped to the cot. All the attempts I had taken to end this misery had flooded my mind. Unsuccessful attempts to say the least. The overbearing thought to run away and not fuck up this time flashed every way It could be done in my mind.

My sorrow only grew as I saw the tears well in his eyes threatening to break their surface tension to flow somewhere. A misunderstood and lost spirit he had become. He needed someone, whether it be a simple friend or something 'more'. All he needed was someone to be there. The glimmer of hope his eyes had feasted upon shone bright, yet had just faded away at our interaction. He's not a monster, but just the lie of being a monster that he believes he is. Deep down is something much stronger than the darkness which consumes. A glimmer of hope even through the threat of it being taken so many times proves a redemption. Never let a small flame go unkempt as it could destroy a forest, but it can bring a much needed light to a dark world on the other front.

I leaned forwards to rest a paw on his shoulder which he shrugged off uncomfortably while also ignoring any eye contact. I persisted placing my paw on his shoulder once more.

"It's alright," she said, speaking words to my unfocused ears catching my attention. I met her eyes again with mine. Her horror and fear had shifted to a warm smile. I couldn't break the deep feelings that had rested upon my mind dropping my eyes once more.

"Hey! Snap out of it." She raised her voice, catching me a bit off guard with the sudden hostile tone. The tone had managed to skim under the fine and thin line of my mental distraction, throwing it off of me, in turn, giving me some room to comprehend what was before me. I gave a brief sigh.

"What did I say?" Referring to the obvious.

"Could have gone better. I know." She scoffed, admitting her mistake. I laid my back against the wall, staring into the blank space above her.

"What did you see?" I asked, a bit curious. "I'd only seen you lift in the air, something grabbing you by the neck." My gaze lowered down to a disconnected gaze that had been wandering at the question.

"The lie that you've become." She paused trying to find the wording for what she had to say next. " A black figure with red orbs which could simultaneously stare through and at someone as if they were its next feast. A black cloud with those eyes. I couldn't tell if it was a figure or not but it had reached out and picked me up by my windpipe whilst slowly closing it off trying to feed some sick sense of sadistic satisfaction from trying to get me to submit."

"I– see." She looked back at me.

"I see agony deep in its eyes that matches much of your own I saw from the beginning. The thing is also in much pain. It will be a more difficult load of work to move past that. I can help you. I can bear a few more incidents in all honesty. It's not often I see someone of the likes of me around these parts anyways. I'm beginning to feel alone in my own realm of things." She paused, rubbing the back of her neck, dropping her gaze to the side with a shy grin.

"I can't forgive what I've done."

"You don't think you can, but you'll come to realize that shit happens, sometimes you have to do some bad things. If you don't move on then you'll only suff–"

"There's not enough suffering in the world for the things I've done. I'm to put it simply, a thief, a maker of orphans, widows, and widowers, etcetera, etcetera. You name it and I have likely done it. Even if my worst was directed towards those who did the same dirty work, it's still a life nonetheless. Do you even know what your kind tastes li–?" My surge of anger diminished as I spat the last of my mindless rambles, realizing I had said something could put me in a hole.

"You– what?" She glared in a sudden burst of disgust and shock as I had already dismissed the claims that I ate others, only to turn around and prove it true.

"A–" I had to sigh, collecting the thoughts. "An almost worthy opponent. Thought they could sneak up on me firing an arrow into my shoulder, presumably to slow me or get some kind of upper hand in my pain. Big fuck up that was. I just wanted some food, that was all before the interruption. You may never understand how powerful insanity and hunger can be, but he–." I paused. "He ended up being dinner." The images burned fresh in my mind, draining my entire expression into a thousand yard stare. She must think she's my next meal if I ever went almost feral again. I pulled myself out of my trance to look back at a conflicted stare into no specific direction, unsure of what to really do.

She stood with the shake of her head and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her without another word. Only leaving me to my thoughts once more.

"I fucked it all up again…" I whispered, to myself.

The time that proceeded stayed dead silent, as I was only wondering when the exhaustion would take me back. Yet the conditioning I had been forced through with countless days in a row being stuck awake only kept me up. I was still too frail to move, yet something egged me on to just leave and never return. Maybe the guards she spoke of at dinner were after me. Maybe she was just stuck in a deep thought. She may be planning on a sacrifice of the monster. Who knows? To say the rest of the night had any rest would heed anyone a dunce.