"What are you saying?" Elliot couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"I think you know what I'm saying." Her voice never sounded more done, and he realized he pushed her to her limit. "Two years ago I made you make a choice. I told you it was us or her." He could hear the emotion behind her hurt and anger. "I thought you chose us."

"Kathy I did! We left! I left her alone. For two years!"

"Non of that matters! You made your choice Elliot. The minute you boarded that plane you chose her over me and I'm done." She sat silent on the other end.

"There just isn't room. Between the job, her and our family. You can't have all of us, and you made your choice."

"Kathy it's not that simple." He tried to explain but her mind was made up.

"It is Elliot. It is. I know what happened, but she would have got along fine with out you. You needed her to need you, and she would have gotten along just fine with out you there. But YOU had to be there." She sighed in resignation. "We will never be free of her. Not really anyway." He sat speechless. "I can't do this anymore. And I don't think you can either. We're done."

He sill didn't know how to respond. He didn't expect this, and he honestly didn't know where to go from here.

"You still there?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah," he choked out.

"I'll pack your stuff. I know you will need to come back for work but I need some time before talking again."

His brain felt broken, still not understanding what was happening. "Okay."

"Goodbye Elliot." The phone clicked before he could say anything else.

He held his phone against his ear long after the call ended, trying to comprehend what happened and the impact it would have on his life.

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Olivia woke up with a pounding headache and a dry throat. Sobbing herself to sleep was beginning to be tiresome. She inspected her surroundings, not entirely sure where she was. Memories from the previous day trickled through her consciousness. "Ugh." She groaned.

Amanda insisted she sleep at her apartment after crashing in the bunks for most of the day. Olivia rolled off the couch and made her way into the kitchen. She noticed a bottle of water, a sports drink, and a bottle of pain reliever on the counter with a note:

Hydrate, take some meds, text me when you're awake so I know you're alive.

-Amanda

Olivia snagged the bottle of pain reliever and the water bottle. Hopefully that would help her pounding head. She sighed and wandered back to the couch, searching for her phone. She dreaded checking her messages, but I needed to be done.

As expected she had several texts and voicemails from Brian. There was also a text from Elliot, but she ignored it so she could text Amanda first.

O: I'm alive. Thanks for letting me crash here.

A: No problem. You're welcome to chill at my place. I wouldn't come into work. You never know who might show up.

O: I'll stay here. I have a bunch of messages from Brian. One from Elliot. I probably should read them.

A: When you're ready. Yesterday sucked and they can wait to hear from you.

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Olivia knew Amanda was probably right and she should take a day before dealing with this mess but she couldn't help opening the text from Elliot. She sighed. She wanted to hear from him. It was probably stupid, but she wanted him to call.

She looked at the time, it was late in the morning. Maybe he hadn't flown out yet. She sent him a quick text.

Call me if you haven't left yet.

She left it at that, hoping he would call and she hadn't texted too late.

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By afternoon Olivia figured he'd already boarded the plane and she'd missed the opportunity to talk to him. She laid on Amanda's couch, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what she wanted to do from here.

She needed to talk to Brian, but she didn't know what to say. This mess with Elliot made some things very clear in her mind. One of which was that she couldn't be with a person if she avoided him and sought someone else when things got tough.

During this last week she realized how much she emotionally carried Brian, and it wasn't fair. She shouldn't have to take care of him when her life is falling apart. When it came down to it, she wanted Elliot when things crumbled around her. She always wanted Elliot when shit hit the fan.

Even though Elliot was off limits, and might always stay that way, she couldn't be with someone if she still wanted Elliot more. It wasn't fair to either of them. Maybe it was time to let Brian move on, and while she might not ever be with Elliot, she deserved to be someone she loved just as much.

She felt firm in her choice, and she knew she should head back to her apartment and ready herself for the next confrontation with Brian. She knew she had tons of messages from him, but she'd rather talk to him in person.

She peeled herself off the couch, and readied herself to leave the apartment. She still looked like a disaster, but she could care less at this point. She shot Amanda a text, letting her know where she was going, and gathered courage as she shut the apartment door.

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Olivia turns the key to her apartment and walks inside. It's quiet so she knew Brian wasn't home. She locked the door behind her. If Brian was working she had some time to herself. She definitely needed to shower, and she knew she should eat.

She wandered over to her fridge, hoping to find a Yogurt or something, but before opening the door she found an envelope with her name on it taped to the fridge.

The tape stuck to the stainless steel as she pulled it away. She knew the handwriting was Brian's, but she felt nervous about what this note might say.

She abandoned the idea of food, and decided to shower instead. She kept the envelope in her hand while she entered the bathroom and started the shower. The letters of her name screamed at her as she held it in both hands. Not feeling ready for whatever Brian had to say, she tossed the envelope on the bathroom counter and hopped in the shower.

After she showered and got dressed she eyes the letter still laying on the bathroom counter ominously. She sighed and figured she better get it over with. She sat on her couch and pulled the envelope open.

Liv,

You haven't returned my calls or texts so I guess I'll leave this and hope you read it. I'm sorry for this week. I've been a selfish ass. I don't understand what's between you and Stabler. I probably won't ever get it. Sorry I was jealous. Sorry I was a jerk.

I grabbed most of my stuff and I'm staying with a friend. I get that you need space to work through all this stuff. Figure out what you want. If you want me in your life I'll be there, but if it's time to move on I get it. I love you. Probably always will.

Brian

She tossed the paper next to her on the couch. She felt a little bad for ghosting him and not even listening to his messages, but maybe it was for the best. She loved Brian, but she realized she didn't love him enough. She'd call him eventually, but she finally breathed easier knowing he was giving her the space she desperately needed. She needed time. Time to figure out what she wanted. Time to heal. Time to let go of everything that held her back.

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