Warning:

Mentions of depression, burnout and other mental issues.


A strange sort of exhaustion was what I felt first thing in the morning.

And while physical exhaustion was something I was quite familiar with, this bone-tired feeling that I felt in my very core was very... strange. Heavy.

It made me feel like my very soul was weighed down by something invisible and yet so heavy that it made me too physically exhausted to do anything.

Unfortunately for me, this type of exhaustion too was becoming a norm as I got used to it slowly through the days.

"Miya-aneki?" I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard someone call my name, "Are you awake?"

"Ah, yes I am, Aoi." I tried my best to smile brightly as I pushed myself up on the bed; the very action feeling rather tiring and unwilling from my own body, "How may I help you?"

"...are you feeling alright?" Aoi asked bluntly, making me smile kindly at her ever-present worry, "You don't sound good. In fact, I noticed you haven't even been eating properly for the past few days — are you coming down with something?"

'Ah, she noticed.' Was the first thought in my head before I waved off her worry as casually as I could, "I'm good, don't worry. It's just my sleep schedule's all over the place so."

I heard some shuffling from her side before a hand connected on my forehead, startling me a bit as I heard her continue.

"You don't have any temperature, at least."

"See, I'm fine," I smiled at her reassuringly before moving away to stand, feeling a bit light-headed as I stood up too fast, "I, um, I just need some time and sleep. I'll be fine after that."

There was a strange sort of pause before I heard Aoi sigh, "I'll leave you to it then, Aneki," I could feel her gaze on my back as I heard her footsteps, "Please tell me if you need anything, alright? And I mean anything. Even if it's just a conversation or something as small as maybe a massage."

"I... will." I turned to smile in the general direction of the younger girl gently, "Thank you so much for being there for me."

I heard Aoi grunt before the sound of the door closing echoed through the room, making me wonder what that was.

'Maybe I irritated her enough to leave me alone, huh?' I thought wryly before shaking my head as I proceeded to make my bed slowly, the very act taking me far longer than it usually did for the last few days.

It wasn't like I didn't want to do it but strangely enough, getting up and working on things like this was slowly turning more and more exhausting.

Was this the depression settling in? If yes, then what could I even do to avoid it?

'I should try focusing on my training more,' was the obvious answer and yet...

I was getting nowhere with that either.

Every activity was slowly becoming more taxing and my limbs felt heavier with each passing day — and yet, despite knowing what was happening to me, I didn't know how to stop it. Or change it.

Lord, I felt useless.


"You are not chewing." Inosuke's voice jolted me out of my thoughts as I turned to his voice near me, "Why are you not eating? Is the fish not good?"

"No, no," I denied instantly, feeling rather awkward as I replied, "It's all good, trust me Ino-chan. It's just... I'm not hungry."

"Haah! You barely ate anything!" His loud voice made me shake my head in amusement, "Oi, don't laugh at me! Eat properly! I haven't seen you eat anything and I'm almost done with my food. Are you going slow after being injured?!"

"Maybe, I don't know?" I huffed half-jokingly, "I mean, I did say I don't feel hungry much today, so—"

"Why don't you feel hungry?" Inosuke bluntly asked, making me stumble over my words as I wondered what to answer him.

"Um, maybe because I am not training as hard as you, Itsu-kun and Jiro-kun?"

"Haah? Who are they?"

I almost facepalmed at his question, "Your friends? The blond demon slayer and the... uh, and the demon slayer that carries a demon?"

"Oh, Monitsu and Monjiro."

"Oh, Lord," I genuinely let out a few chuckles at probably his honest realization, "I can't believe you don't remember me calling them by the nicknames I allotted them. I thought you noticed?"

"I did!" I heard him aggressively defend as the sound of his shuffling reached me.

"But you still don't remember?"

"Oi, it's not important here!" He suddenly yelled louder, making me tilt my head as he continued after an unexpected pause, "Why aren't you eating properly, huh? Are you sick?"

"I just sa—"

"Are your eyes aching?" I heard his gruff voice turn a few tones softer as something touched my cheek, "Eating is important. Or else you'll not survive."

"I—" my words faltered as I realised it was the nose of the mask he usually wears that was nuzzling on my cheek, "I-I'm fine, Ino-chan. Just not hungry."

"Not hungry is dangerous," I felt him move away from me as suddenly something was held in front of my lips.

"Wha—"

"Eat." The seriousness in his voice didn't sit well with me as I silently did what he asked, "And don't die."

"I'm... not dying," I softly stated while chewing as I reached out for him, "Inosuke?"

"My mother didn't eat," he suddenly started, startling me as I held out my hand to him awkwardly in shock, "She was sick and I didn't know. She died and... and left me alone to live."

"Your... mother?" I asked softly with confusion etched to my expressions; wasn't his mother killed by Douma when he was a baby—

My heart skipped when I felt his hand on mine, gripping my awkwardly-reaching-out hand to lay it down and keep his... was it really his mask that he just handed to me?

"My mother." I took a deep breath as I finally realised he was talking about his boar 'mother' rather than the human one.

"Ino—"

"She didn't eat because she was sick." He explained again, "And then she died. Not eating... It's dangerous. Why are you not eating? Are you sick too?"

"I'm not," I could feel my voice tremble as the weight of what he just shared hit me, "I'm... I'm not sick. I promise. I'm just... I'm sorry for making you worry, Inosuke. I—"

"I don't want your apology!" His voice returning to his normal loud tone startled me, which I think he noticed as he toned it down when he continued, "Just eat properly — or I'll stuff the food in your face."

"I... I will try, I promise." I sincerely promised as I reached out to touch him again; Inosuke meeting me halfway through this time as I caressed his smooth cheeks and soft skin for the first time, "Thank you for sharing this with me, yeah? It means a lot to me, Ino."

I didn't get any reply from him as I kept caressing him, trying my best to calm myself down as the imagery of a young Inosuke laying near the dead carcass of his boar mother kept popping into my head.

"You are such a brave child, you know?" I said out loud almost absent-mindedly before Inosuke snapped at me loudly.

"Haah? Who are you calling a child?!" His sudden question made me bark out a laugh, "Oi, I'm taller than you, fan-woman!"

"What did you just call me?" My voice bounced with unrestrained laughter, "Fan... woman?" I asked in absolute amusement and bewilderment as Inosuke huffed and didn't bother to dignify me with a response — something that confused me even more as his behaviour today was way unusual than I was used to.

"Just finish your food!"

"Yes, my child."

"Oi, woman! I'm not a child — stop laughing at me!?"


Zenitsu's hugs were something I came to appreciate as they became more and more common, his antics and rather attached behaviour making him feel like a younger brother to me that I never had.

"There, there," I patted the wild nest of blond hair on my shoulder while rubbing circles on his back to comfort him as I always did, "I'm glad to see you too, dearie!"

I heard him hum as he finally backed away from the hug; however, his figure didn't move away from me much as he sat in front of me.

"Training is so harsh, aneki~" I heard him whine as he leaned on me again, "Tanjiro wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn to train and always wakes me up too. And Inosuke — that idiot always drags me up by my leg if I try to go back to sleep!"

I chuckled lightly as he vented about his training shenanigans with the other two members of the Trouble Trio to me.

"Oh, and did Inosuke really come to eat with you today?" He asked out of nowhere, making me nod my head as I answered.

"That he did, and it really surprised me. What happened though? I couldn't ask him when he was here but do you know why he suddenly came up today like that, Itsu-kun?"

"Not much," he admitted before adding, "I think I heard him talking to Aoi about this, I guess. I mean, she was worried about you and Inosuke jumped in to ask what happened."

"Oh, they both talk?"

"Yes? They do?" The confusion in Zenitsu's voice was evident, "I mean, not frequently but they do. I know Inosuke looks like he can't even talk to a woman properly but I've been teaching him!"

"That's... well, that's news to me." I stated honestly as the amusement I was feeling slipped into my words, "Though, I'm glad Ino-chan is finally increasing his circle a bit — in fact, I'm glad all three of you are. It's good to have other friends too."

"Of course," I felt him nodding on my shoulder, making me chuckle before I asked the question that was burning at the back of my mind for the past few days.

"How is Tanjiro doing, by the way?" I asked directly, "I mean, I know you told me he is training and all but... how is he? Is he alright? Is he... is he talking with you both like he normally did before?"

I felt a strange ache in my chest as I asked Zenitsu about him; it's almost been a week now that I've seen Tanjiro, his absence feeling rather sharp when everyone else but him showed up to visit me at least once.

"Tanjiro is," the pause he took made my heart sink, "He is good, I think? A bit... distant. Determined but distant, I guess. He didn't visit you today?"

"Not yet at least," I didn't have the heart to admit that I hadn't seen him for a whole week — well, in the most figurative way since the literal one wasn't quite possible yet, "Maybe he is busy with training? Like, it sure must be different now after you three are performing concentrated breath all the time now."

Zenitsu hummed his agreement as he spoke about his own experience with his breath style and how he was training with Inosuke on this, his whole narration making me feel strangely isolated even when I was almost in a hug with the little thunder bean.

Why was I feeling like this again? They are not abandoning me, for fuck's sake — Inosuke just visited me an hour ago and Zenitsu is literally hugging me here!

'What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling so... heavy?'

"I'm glad you three are training well then," I decided to comment instead of thinking about my jumbled emotions, trying my best to focus on the slayer sitting in front of me rather than anything else, "It's important to be able to get used to your continuous concentrated breath while using your attacks now — that'll help you get in-tune with the amount of strength you'll normally use now that you have it going on the background without any pause."

"Mmhm," I heard him hum before he continued quietly, "How are feeling, Aneki?"

I hesitated to answer him as I knew I couldn't really hide how I was feeling from him — however, I wasn't quite ready to address those emotions yet either.

"...I'm fine," I answered finally, knowing full well he knew I was lying, "Just a bit tired, you know?"

"You feel tired a lot nowadays," Zenitsu commented softly before he shifted his head so that his voice felt right near my left ear, "Are you really alright?"

"I will be," I answered back just as softly as he did, "Maybe not now but I will be fine. It's just temporary emotions, so it doesn't matter—"

"Why don't you ever take your own emotions seriously, Aneki?" Zenitsu cuts me off for the first time, "Why is it that you always tell me to talk about what I feel and tell me that my feelings are valid but always invalidate your own?"

I honestly felt speechless as he called me out as directly as he did; his words making me feel numb as I realised how true they were.

"I... am sorry," I apologised for my hypocrisy, "I... I know I should practice what I preach too and... and." I just sighed and stopped speaking, not knowing what to say as Zenitsu drew his head away from my shoulder.

"You can talk to me, Aneki." I heard him gently declare as he moved away further, "I am always here and I'll visit you every day when you need me."

"Thank you, Zenitsu." I did not miss the sound of the door opening as the blond slayer got off the bed, "I'm glad to have you in my life, you know?"

"W-Well," his embarrassed voice made me smile as I felt Tomioka approach us slowly, "You always listen to me talk, so why can't I return the favour? Please just, give me a chance, alright? I'm not that bad listening."

The irony of his last statement made me snort while he bid his farewell; Tomioka's awkward yet adorable figure still standing at the edge of my bed making me wonder if he was feeling out of the loop.

"Ah, so it's time for me to leave, eh senpai?" I asked rhetorically as I slowly got up — however, my leg caught in something that made me stumble and almost fall flat on my face.

Thankfully, Tomioka saved my blind ass by catching me quickly, his arms wrapping around my stomach as I shrieked in surprise. Once the surprise wore out, I started laughing at my stupidity while I felt Tomioka huff out in what I assumed was amusement.

"Thank you for saving me from breaking my nose, Tomioka-senpai," I chuckled as he let me go slowly, "I swear, it would have been a stupid way to get more injuries than I already have."

"You should be more careful," he quietly commented as I shrugged, "Or maybe I should start carrying you directly from here?"

That made me shake my head real quick as I told him I was fine and I'll be careful next time. Who knows with this guy — he might really be serious with the way he sounds while saying that.

This absolute innocent angel.

"Don't even think about doing that in front of everyone," I shook my head as I felt him follow me closely behind, "Not only the twins would kill you but the rest of the Estate would gossip for months."

"But I carried you before?"

"Oh my Lord, just walk for now, please. I'll explain this to you later, alright?"

Honestly, I really didn't have the energy to explain to him why normalizing carrying me like that was not appropriate. That was a struggle for my future self.


I never noticed how strange it was to hear the rain fall and yet not see or even feel it.

It almost made me feel like the whole thing wasn't real; like I was listening to some ethereal music of the rain, artificially made to soothe my nerves. Well, at least the cool atmosphere was something that grounded me. Barely.

A warm touch on my hands jolted me back to reality, making me finally focus on the present as I heard Tomioka call my name.

"Sorry," I apologized automatically, "I, uh, my mind was somewhere else." I didn't hear anything for the next few seconds before his hands shifted away and I heard him speak softly.

"Is meditation not helping you?" He asked bluntly, making me smile in a guilty manner.

"It's not that," I admitted somewhat reluctantly, "At least, not exactly. It's just, I'm finding it difficult right because... because."

It's been a couple of days since I started visiting Tomioka's Estate to train and increase the sensibility of my aura detecting ability — however, when I discussed it with the Water Hashira in detail, he suggested me to start with meditation before proceeding with anything more taxing.

And while I knew meditation was the first step to improve the clarity of my aura vision, the very idea of it made me wary.

Especially since I knew for me to meditate, I would have to let go of my thoughts and let them run free. Without engaging with them.

And honestly, it was more terrifying than the never-ending silence itself.

"It's not like I haven't meditated before," I confessed out loud as my mind reeled with unwanted thoughts, "I just, I can't focus right now. I'm sorry."

The silence that greeted me from his end made me feel even more guilty. What was I doing here?

Why was I even doing this — wasting Tomioka's time and even my own, instead of focusing on the who-knows-when-it's-gonna-arrive Red District mission?

"Do you," his soft voice echoed in the quiet room as he spoke, drawing me out of my self-deprecating thoughts, "Want to go outside?"

"In the rain?" I blurted out in surprise, "Do you want me to meditate in the rain?"

"No," I could literally imagine him shaking his head as he answered me, "Just... outside. On the porch."

"...and watch the rain?" I asked bewildered before adding quietly to myself, "Well, listen cause I don't have the eyesight for it currently."

"Yes," I heard him get up from his position in front of me as his warm aura shifted again to approach me, "Is it alright with you?"

"Of course, it is?" I disliked how my answer came out more as a question than a statement but I genuinely was confused right now, "Um, are you... are you sure it won't be a waste of your time?"

"No," I felt his hand gently touch mine as he didn't want to startle me, "I want to spend time with you."

I could feel my heart skip several beats at his honestly sweet reply, making me remind myself again and again that he didn't mean it in any romantic way.

He was too much of a cinnamon roll for that.

'Not to mention,' I mused wryly as Tomioka helped me stand up, his warm hands making me feel strangely unworthy as he treated me so gently, 'I don't belong in this world. Of course, he won't even see me in that way since I wasn't even supposed to be in the picture in the first place.'

It made me wonder though — was he actually interested in Shinobu like the fan theories suggested or not? Again, it wasn't something canon as far as I remember... I think?

'Well, I did die before the manga finished; so, I guess I'll never know.'

"How are your injuries now?" Tomioka asked once we sat down on the porch; my back touching the wooden wall behind me as the sound of the rain soothed my nerves, "Does it still itch?"

"Around my eyes? Not anymore." I shrugged as I answered, "Shinobu-san helped me in removing all the dead skin over the small wounds near my eyes so it's better now. And don't worry, we didn't scrape any wound anew."

"Good," I could practically hear him nodding along his reply as the sound of his hair brushing against the wooden walls reached my ears, "...and your eyes?"

"Shinobu-san wants to wait another week or two before we remove the bandages," I replied before taking a deep breath, "She wants to give my eyes the best chance she can."

"And you?"

"Hm?"

"What do you think about it?" He asked softly as I felt his shoulder brush against mine with how close we were sitting.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "I don't know if I'll get my eyesight back or if I'll stay blind forever. I just... I'm preparing for the worst-case scenario. Well, at least I'm trying to prepare. But honestly? I'm not sure."

It was silent for a few minutes as we both basked in the soothing sound of the heavy rain; its suddenness had initially surprised me a lot before he pointed out how cloudy it was today from the very beginning of the morning.

"I don't know what is wrong with me," I started out loud, trying my best to focus on the sound of the rain than my own anxious thoughts, "I... I've meditated my whole life and yet now I'm so scared of it. No, it's my own thoughts that I'm fucking scared of because I don't want to listen to them — I don't even want to think them but I just can't stop. And now I'm just fucking avoiding meditating because my thoughts keep distracting me once I don't actively repress them."

I felt strangely lighter once I said that out loud; my heart still beating loudly in my ears as the feeling of vulnerability encased me in its vice grip. The lack of any means to observe expressions made me feel even more exposed while I waited for his response anxiously.

"What kind of thoughts are they?" He asked softly as I felt his shoulder shift against mine, "Are they... dangerous?"

"I don't know how to define them," I hated how I was using that phrase again and again but even then, I couldn't deny that the emotions I was feeling were too complicated for me to even decipher them properly, "They are... anxious, raw, self-deprecating, and yet has a lot of truth in them. It's just, I don't know how to control them? And my emotions — they just make things worse."

I sighed loudly as I continued without giving it too much thought, "I... I really don't know why I'm feeling like this. This... this heaviness in my chest and the strange ache that I feel alongside it — it just... it doesn't go away. I know I'm feeling like this because of suddenly losing my eyesight and I know that I can still function without it but still... I still feel so fucking scared. Even more than that actually — I feel disappointed in myself. Like... like I failed everyone — Rengoku, Tanjiro, Inosuke, everyone."

I breathed heavily once I finished venting; I could feel I was on the verge of breaking down and yet I wasn't even brave enough to do that.

I felt so vulnerable and exposed and I hated it; I just, I just should have kept my mouth shut instead of dumping everything on Tomioka—

My breath hitched as I felt warm arms embrace me; his warm aura engulfing me completely as I felt him gently pull me completely into his arms.

"It's... alright," I felt his voice near my ear as he gently caressed my head, "It's alright, Miyasha."

I took in a deep breath as I tried to stop myself from crying while Tomioka hugged my shivering frame even tighter as I breathed heavily on his chest.

"I'm... I'm so tired, Giyuu." I admitted honestly once I calmed down, my voice cracking as I continued, "I just, I never asked to be born like this and... and I just... I just want this to end. I just want everyone to be safe but I am such a coward."

I felt his chin on my head as I tried calming myself down; his warmth making me feel safe and protected as his hands gently rubbing my back made me feel heard and... present.

Lord, I was pathetic.

"You can't reach everyone," I felt his chest rumble as he spoke, "There will always be people you can't reach... that you can't protect."

His arms shifted around me as he pulled me even closer — making me finally notice how I was sitting in between his legs as his whole body encased me in a warm, protective embrace.

"Don't blame yourself when that happens," I could feel his breath near my forehead as I tucked myself further into his arms, taking full advantage of the situation — consequences be damned, "It will only get worse as you move forward."

"I know that," I chuckled humorlessly into his hard chest, "God, I know that — but that's not my case. I... know what may happen and I just, I still hesitate to intervene because I'm so fucking scared of the consequences. As if, as if me being here didn't already fuck things up."

"What happened won't change," he pointed out calmly, repeating the advice he told me earlier as well, "If things have changed because you are here then accept and move forward."

"It's easier said than done, senpai."

"Life usually is."

I chuckled at his monotonously stated words, finding the truth in them more than I would care to admit.

The silence that fell after was strangely calm and comfortable — his arms were still around me while I was tucked into his embrace completely, his warm aura making me feel sluggish and sleepy as I unconsciously snuggled into his warmth even more.

Sleepily I noticed how broad his shoulders actually were and how small my figure was in comparison to him — something I always knew and yet realised just now for the first time.

"Your warm aura always makes me sleepy, do you know that?" I blurted out as I felt him shift, "I just... I feel so tired right now and your warmth makes me feel so safe and drowsy."

"Then sleep," I heard him say quietly as I slowly stopped fighting the sleep, "I'll be here while you sleep."

"You're too nice, you know?" I mumble as I heed his advice and slowly let sleep overcome me, "I don't deserve you or... your company..."


(~×~)


Her last words echoed in his mind as he felt her breathing slow down in a sleepy rhythm.

"You don't know," he couldn't help but whisper to her sleeping figure, "How wrong you are."

She really didn't.
And he didn't know how to show her either. He was not experienced in this field. At all.

The only thing he could do was hug her like he saw her hug others so many times before as she comforted them — he was not good at words or emotions like Miyasha was, after all.

Giyuu slowly adjusted the sleeping girl in his arms, brushing off the hair on her face that had fallen over her as he moved her to a more comfortable position. His hands lingered on her bandages a few seconds before he caressed them gently.

She seemed smaller when she slept like this, he thought fleetingly before his mind went back to a few minutes ago; he had noticed how absent she was these past few days and how her whole conscious seemed to be in another realm as she didn't even respond to her own name at times.

He worried about her a lot as he noticed how she slowly crammed herself into occupying as little space as she could — as if worried that something would hurt her. It made him feel worse when he noticed her doing that a few minutes ago; his chest aching as his hands reached out to her on his own and he hugged her without giving it a proper thought.

While he knew this would have been a very foolish move on anyone else, Miyasha was not someone who shied away from his physical touch, as evident by when he felt her completely melt against him.

And even though he knew he shouldn't feel like this, he couldn't help but feel a strange sense of pride and warmth in his chest as he hugged her through her trembling confessions.

"I'm... I'm so tired,"

He stroked her hair gently as he thought back to her words; he didn't completely understand what she was talking about with her presence disturbing things but he did know how she felt with the guilt and disappointment.

Quite ironically, it was something he was familiar with and knew firsthand — however, watching her feel like that despite hearing how much she had been working didn't sit well with him.

Despite what Miyasha thought, Giyuu knew she worked hard — too hard if he asked anyone. He had seen her train long before he had offered to help her and watched her continue even after he had left; she was a hard worker to her very core and anyone could recognise that.

Even Rengoku had spoken highly of her when he visited him, narrating his whole fight with the Upper Demon Moon and how the girl in his arms did not even hesitate to fight back.

It surprised him how she couldn't see something as obvious as this — something that everyone around her did.

"I just want everyone to be safe."

He did, too.
But for him, she counted in that everyone, which she didn't include in her own list.

Not that he could speak much on it considering he didn't include himself in his own list either — but he was different. He... he wasn't supposed to be alive. Or a Hashira.

She, on the other hand, was not like him.

She was... she was bright and helped so many people. He had heard how people spoke about her when she wasn't around and felt a strange pride blossom in himself as he heard people recognizing her hardwork.

If only she could recognise that for herself as well.

The sound of the heavy rain still falling outside made him look up towards the sky; it was still dark and grey but all he could feel was warmth and calmness despite the cold and gloomy atmosphere.

Maybe because he had her in his arms — something he was not quite sure what to do with now that she fell asleep.

Giyuu slowly brushed his fingers across her hair again, noticing how long they were as compared to the past. He wondered if he ever noticed these much on others as he noticed these small things about her — but, then again, he didn't touch anyone as casually as he did to her either, so it was a bit difficult.

And honestly? He kind of liked touching her. The warmth she emitted when she talked to him only multiplied she touched him; it made him feel... it made him feel giddy and some emotions that he wasn't much aware of — but he craved it nonetheless.

Giyuu took a deep breath as he realized how much he liked her touches and even craved them — something that he knew wasn't normal but he couldn't bring himself to deny it either.

He liked this feeling.
He liked being near her, being able to touch her like this and being trusted with her whole body as she felt completely safe around him.

He liked it and he felt so lucky that she allowed him to get away with all these things.

A particular gush of cold breeze made her fold into him even more before he decided it was time to go inside; the only reason he had actually suggested sitting outside was because she seemed to like the sound of rain a lot — a fact that was proven right as soon as her figure relaxed once they arrived on the porch.

He slowly readjusted her position in his arms so that he could carry her; his breath audibly hitching as he felt her warm breath on his neck when he suddenly took her into his arms.

He flushed as he readjusted her again to prevent that from happening again — the action itself feeling rather... intimate, and while he didn't exactly hate it, he didn't think it would make Miyasha much comfortable if she knew about it happening.

In fact, he thought, the whole carrying activity seemed to be something socially complicated as she hesitated whenever he asked to carry her in public.

It made him wonder as he carried her quite a few times in public as well but never found anyone minding — though, he can't say he was sure either since he never heard anyone say anything about it directly.

He just hoped he was not crossing a line with his acts, making Miyasha feel uncomfortable. He really liked her company and genuinely didn't want to make her push him away.

And as he looked down to her sleeping figure in his arms, he wondered if he could even take her pushing him away now that he knew how much he liked her touches and company.


(~×~)


The sound of birds chirping greeted me as I slowly woke up; my whole body protesting while I sluggishly forced myself to get up from the warm cocoon I was in or else I'd never wake up.

I rubbed my arms gingerly as I felt itchy on my sides — noticing how the skin of my arms was printed with the creases most likely caused by my uniform that got bunched up during my sleep.

'Ugh, that's why I don't like wearing my uniform to sleep.' I thought absent-mindedly as I kept rubbing my arms to soothe the strange discomfort before it clicked, 'Wait, why the fuck was I even wearing—?'

Last evening's memories slowly trickled in as my drowsiness subsided; the whole recollection of the incident made me want to dig myself a grave, roll in it and just die.

'Oh my Lord, I'm still in Tomioka's Estate, ain't I?'

I covered my face with both of my hands, wishing to just maybe die as embarrassment caught me in its unforgiving grip. But, before that, I need to somewhat rearrange my clothes properly and somehow make my hair presentable — I can't afford to embarrass myself even more than I already did.

In addition to that, I wasn't in one of those fanfics where I would wake up with perfect hair and perfect clothes, unfortunately.

I shook my head as I focused on the task at hand, wondering what the fuck was wrong with me that I just went ahead did what I fucking did.

Not only did I waste a whole evening by almost breaking down in front of Tomioka and hugging him but I also fell asleep on him again and didn't return back to Butterfly Estate.

Aoi was gonna kill me and Shinobu was never going to let me live it down—

"Good morning, Miyasha," I could practically hear my heart skip at Tomioka's voice, "How was your sleep?" It was quite distant from what I noticed — was he standing at the doorway?

"G-Good morning, senpai," Oh Lord, please give me the strength to not embarrass myself any further, "Uh, I slept well? I— Uh, thank you for letting me stay... the night. And um, has the rain stopped now?"

"Yes," he replied bluntly before I felt his aura approach me, "The rain has stopped a few hours ago."

"Oh, that's great!" I answered honestly as I got up from the... futon, I think?

"Slowly," I heard him call out as he offered me his hand, which I gladly took as he helped me stand up while my head started spinning as usual, "Don't rush or you'll fall."

I gripped his hand for a few more moments as I gave him a sheepish smile, "Yeah, sorry about that. I actually get low blood pressure in the mornings, so I'm still quite disoriented."

"Low... blood pressure?" He asked unsurely as I finally stepped away from him.

"Uh, it actually happens when the blood doesn't gain enough pressure to reach all the parts of our body as fast as it does in normal conditions." I explained casually as I felt his hand grip my right wrist gently while guiding me through his Estate, "It, uh, it causes fainting spells and feeling of dizziness — one of the common symptoms of low blood pressure."

"Why does it happen?" I heard him ask softly, which I definitely couldn't have heard if the hallways weren't this unnaturally quiet.

"Uh, it can happen for many different reasons," I answered briefly, "Like, low blood sugar level because of not eating for longer periods of time, blood loss, medication side-effects or even hereditary causes—"

I cut myself off as I crashed onto his broad back, making me wonder for a split second why he had stopped so suddenly before the said Hashira tugged my wrist back towards where we came from.

"S-Senpai?"

"You should eat before you leave." My brain took some extra seconds to process his blunt reply, making him most likely believe that I didn't have any issue with it as he tugged me through like a child.

"B-But senpai, I can eat back in the—"

"No." He replied instantly, "You haven't eaten anything before you fell asleep either."

"Well," that was true but, "I can eat once I go back to Butterfly Estate? You don't have to trouble yourself with it, senpai, trust me. You have already helped me so much and..." I gave a sheepish smile in his direction despite knowing he most likely wasn't looking back at me but rather focused on getting wherever he was taking me, "And well, with how I just dumped things on you, I really don't want to trouble you anymore. You've been too kind to me and I don't want to use you like that."

"You don't trouble me," he replied before he stopped and I felt him turn back towards me, "I... I like helping you."

"But—"

"Please?" Was the only word he said as he gently rubbed circles on my wrist with his thumb.

"Oh Lord, senpai," I groaned as I rubbed my face with the hand that he wasn't holding, "You are gonna be the death of me, you know that right?"

"...I'm sorry."

"You don't—" I chuckled as I shook my head, "Y'know what? Since you help me so much, maybe I should return the favour by teaching you some common social acts and symbolic phrases. What do you think?"

"...I have no issues."

"Great! So let's first start with the phrase I just said and move onto why you shouldn't carry someone in your arms when it's not an emergency."

"You can only carry someone when it's an emergency?" He asked innocently as we started walking again.

"I mean, it's not like an adult can't walk on their own — unless the person you are carrying is a baby or injured, you shouldn't just take them in your arms."

"But you are injured?" He asked genuinely, throwing me in a loop as that was technically the case.

"Well, I'm injured but I still can walk."

"But you fall a lot."

"Oh Lord," I rubbed my face again as I could feel myself flush in embarrassment, "Just because I made friends with the floor doesn't mean you can just carry me all around! I'm not a child, senpai...!"

"Friends with the floor?"

Lord, this was gonna be a long journey, I can just feel it.


Heya!
Sorry for being MIA again but here's the new chapter! I've already started the next chapter and might finish it before this week ends, so expect it somewhere around the next week!

As for the heavy topics, well, I had to tone down a lot while writing this chapter as I didn't want to suddenly jump into heavy shit and trigger many people out there. It's neither fair to them nor to me myself as I know everyone reads these fanfics as an escape to real life. So, nothing too heavy here, at least not as much as I had initially done.

As for, well, what is going on in the story, you'll find the majority of the answer by the next chapter and a different character's perspective on the next to next — giving you a serious view of how things are going on at an outer perspective as Miyasha here has been dismissing a lot of things that others aren't. So, that's gonna be a whole new side for y'all, lol.

Taishou Secrets
Hitoshi and Hiroshi still write letters to Shigeno once a month while Miyasha used to do that before she got injured. So, technically, Shigeno is well aware of what is going on with the three of them and quite regularly worries for his students.

Now, onto the review replies!

Nozomi Akiyama: And thank you for your review, dearie! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

jadeisa31: I'm glad you like her interactions with the pillars! I hope they are in character, lol. And I'm sorry we couldn't do it — but it made me really happy people are actually liking it enough to even wanna translate it xD

MehScrewIt: Haha, Giyuu is the best! Also, I'm glad you liked the last chapter and I hope this one is good too — I didn't go too heavy on stuff after some thinking cause, well, I get depressed when the fanfic I read gets too heavy too so don't want that on my readers too, lol.

Zephyrine Tremblay: Aww, trust me when I say I would love to do that, but I can't without sacrificing a lot of development on both her and Giyuu's part! Tbh, realistically speaking, Rengoku is a really nice man, but Miyasha is not for him — both are strong-headed and too alike on aspects that would get them in a dead-end real fast. So, I'm sorry for not being able to do that!

xxjaelee: Haha, isn't he the cutest? And I'm glad you enjoyed reading the last chapter! I hope you like this one too, dearie!

onigiriri: First of all, thank you so much for your reviews! I enjoyed your commentary on stuff and no — there's no harem going on here xD That implication was only to corner Miyasha to admit she sees them as brothers or not. Rengoku being very smart like that UwU And yes, her knowing English IS going to be a question in the future — but it's not uncommon for the doctors even in that era, so that's a thing too. And second of all, I'm glad you liked it up till now! I hope I can keep it interesting, lol.

ukitakeitalialover041757: Awwie, I'm glad you like my writing style and the overall ship xD That's the best compliment an OC-fanfic writer can get! Thank you so much!

And that'll be all for this chapter! Thank you so much for your kind reviews! They made me smile so much! Please review this one too if you want to— I love reading from you guys, and honestly, it motivates me like no other ^^

Stay safe and stay healthy!