Those perfect blue eyes reminded her of, "Oh shit!" she scrambled off his lap and out of his arms. She yanked her phone out of her pocket. "I need to call Kathleen! Why the hell did you not call anyone!? You had everyone completely freaked out! Kathleen was nearly in tears!" She dialed Kathleen's number and she picked up after the first ring.

"Did you find him!?" She sounded frantic.

"Yes, he's okay," Olivia said. Kathleen cried in relief. "Want to talk to him?"

"Yes," her voice shook a little.

Olivia handed the phone to Elliot. "Hey baby." Olivia could only hear Elliot's side of the conversation. "I know, I know. I'm sorry." He rubbed his hand across his forehead, "Listen Katie, your mom somehow found out why I was really here." He sighed, "No I don't think she knows it was you who called me. Try not to worry about it." He looked up at Olivia who was leaning against the wall watching the conversation. "Hey. Can I call you back in a little bit? I need to figure some stuff out, but I wanted you to know I'm okay. Yeah. I love you too.

He hung up the call and handed Olivia her phone back. She settled back down to the floor next to him. She sent a quick text to Amanda to let her know she found Elliot and everything was fine.

Then they sat. Neither spoke. Neither knew what to say. The silence felt comfortable, the kind they often experienced together. With each other they had a place they could just be.

Olivia wasn't quite sure how much time had passed, but she knew it was substantial. She rested her head onto her shoulder before saying, "You scared the hell out of me."

He rested his cheek on her head, "I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do. I felt stuck." His eyes drifted to his phone that looked like it had been thrown into the wall. "My phone isn't working," Olivia resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his obvious angry outburst. "I really didn't think about anyone looking for me."

She reached over and gripped his bicep, squeezing it reassuringly. "I get it. Can you just," her eyes flit up to his, "not ever put me through that again?"

He nodded and pressed his cheek back into her hair. After a moment he spoke again, "I'm not really sure what I do now." He shook his head, "I know it's stupid, but Kathy and I have been together since we were basically kids, and I know our marriage wasn't great. I don't feel bad about her kicking me to the curb, but I hate what this will do to my family."

Olivia was well aware of his commitment to his family. For her, it was one of the best and worst things about him. His sense of duty and loyalty bound him to her in ways neither of them understood. However, she knew her place, and it fell slightly behind his kids. His kids were his first priority, leaving her in a close second place. For the most part she was okay with that. It was part of who he was, and part of what she loved, but it was hard to be the one sacrificed to salvage his family.

"The kids will be okay," Olivia reassured.

"Eli?" He asked, "do you think he's going to be better off with split parents?"

She sighed. Eli. Elliot's ill fitted marriage would have already dissolved if it weren't for Eli. Flashes of the day he was born filled her mind. That perfect baby boy. A baby boy she wished was hers. She shook the thoughts away. "He'll be okay, El. Kathy is mad now, but you know as well as I do she would never keep that boy away from you."

"Maybe. Its just hard not to go to the worst possible scenario." He placed his free hand over hers again, gripping her fingers.

"I can understand that. I have been like that a lot lately."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Liv."

She smiled, "I know, but you are here now, and you came back for me." She felt her chest tighten with emotion, but powered through, "And that means everything to me Elliot. Everything."

He nodded, tears welling in his eyes again. She let him lay his head on her shoulder and she draped her arm over his shoulders. "I don't feel like any of this is real."

She sighed, "I know that feeling too." Her hand found its way to his face, snuggling his head tighter against her shoulder. "And as for what you do now, we get up and pick up the pieces."

He lifted his head from her shoulders, "We?"

"Yeah. I'm not letting you do this alone. Partners, remember?" She smiled, and he returned a serene smile. "All of this is a complicated mess, and so much needs to be sorted out. She scooted away from him a bit so she could see his face better. "Let's take care of your family and work. Then we can worry about the us of it all."

He nodded again. She was pretty sure he would agree to any plan at this point. She stood, and reached her hand out for him to grasp. She pulled him to a standing position, still keeping her hand in his. "I'll tell you what we do today. You shower and change. I have been stuck on desk duty so Cragen won't miss me much today. Let's round your stuff up, and get you checked out of this place." She looked around. It was nice, but he needed to be somewhere else, away from the place his life crumbled.

"And after that? Kathleen's place is too small, and the other kids have roommates." He kept his eyes on their intertwined fingers.

"You stay with me."

His eyes darted up in surprise. "No Liv I couldn't. What about Brian? I know the work rumors will be intolerable if I stay with you."

She kept her eyes firm and sure. "I broke up with Brian, he's all but moved out at this point." She squeezed his hand, "And I don't care about the rumors. There are always rumors surrounding you and me. It doesn't matter." She felt tears threatening her eyes again, "I can't be alone Elliot," her voice dropped, "I get nightmares, I have flashbacks, and this past week hasn't helped. When he got me I was alone. I still just can't be alone." She smiled sadly, "Maybe we can work out both of our shit together."

His eyes smiled, "Yeah, let's do it."

-000-

While Elliot showered, Olivia called Cragen to let him know what was going on. He told her to take another few days to get things sorted out for her and Elliot. Cragen had originally told her to take a week leave, but she bargained down to two days. With this new development Cragen got what he originally wanted.

She started rounding up Elliot's stuff from around the room. He was a fairly organized person so it didn't take long, and she was left to sit on the bed, thinking.

She knew the rumor mill would be unbearable after this, but it felt right. Plus, it wasn't forever. Just until he found a place of his own. She had to admit it would be nice to have another person in the apartment. She was pretty nervous about staying there alone, now that Brian left, and this solved her problem. If she was honest she knew she wanted him close for other reasons too. Elliot proved to be a security blanket for her, and she needed him right now. And it wasn't like they couldn't keep things platonic. They managed to work together for over a decade without sleeping together. Neither of them would push any boundary until his divorce was finalized. She was all too wary of the possibility of Kathy changing her mind, and him going back to her. Again. Anything beyond friends, had to wait. She completely trusted him, but she still felt wary of potential abandonment. She wouldn't be burned by him. She wouldn't survive that.

She heard the shower turn off, and she was grateful that she wouldn't be alone with her thoughts because she was getting way ahead of herself. She mindlessly glanced at the bathroom door when she heard the door click open. Out waltzed Elliot in nothing but a towel. Oh god. She couldn't decide whether to look away or just continue staring. Either way it would seem like she was attracted to him. Which was true. Come on Liv, don't make things weird. Maybe a conversation? Yeah that would soften the weirdness. "I gathered most of your stuff," see, normal. "Oh and Kathleen's random stuff." She smiled and he laughed and she felt like they had a new inside joke. It finally made the serious thick air around the room abate. They were just them. And it felt amazing.

Elliot dig through his bag and returned to the bathroom to change. She dropped back on the bed releasing the anxious breath she'd been holding. Living with a man she wasn't sleeping with might be harder than she thought. Especially if she already kissed that man and felt his hands all over her body. Damn it. She pulled a pillow over her head and groaned. Maybe this was a bad idea. But then she remembered how happy Elliot was when she suggested it. She couldn't back out now. She just needed to figure out how not to jump her roommate in the coming months.

-000-

Check out went smoothly and they made it to her apartment by late morning. They made it to the door, and she took her habitual deep breath before entering. She felt Elliot's hand on her shoulder, "You okay?" he asked.

She smiled over her shoulder, "Yeah, I still get anxiety when opening my door. I know it's irrational, but I didn't expect him that night, and it still takes me a minute to walk through the door."

Elliot nodded in understanding, "What if I went in first? Would that help at all?"

Her eyes welled with tears. "Yeah." Brian never thought of that. As always, Elliot just knew. Maybe this whole roommate thing would be okay after all.

He walked through the door first. He had her hand in his so she trailed close behind him. For the first time in months she felt safe and understood. It seemed like such a small thing, but it meant the world to her.

Once they got to the kitchen he asked, "You okay? Can I grab my bag real quick?"

She nodded and he dropped her hand. A few seconds later he came back in, luggage in tow. They stood for a moment while she tried to figure out how she wanted the sleeping arrangements to go. She hadn't thought about that.

He seemed to read her hesitance, saying, "Couch?"

"Yeah." She wandered to her small linen closet to pull out the spare bedding she kept there. She came back with the folded pile and dropped it neatly on the couch. "You put whatever in the bathroom, and I now have half a closet available so you can ditch your stuff there."

"Okay, I'll get this out of the way." He wandered toward her bedroom, and she sat down on the couch. Looking at the bedding made her wonder when he slept last. She stood and followed him into her room. He'd left his bag next to the closet and was inspecting a few framed pictures on her dresser. She leaned against the door frame for a moment to watch him before saying, "When's the last time you slept, El?"

He glanced up at her and back to the pictures, "I don't actually know."

She meandered over to where he stood and reached for his elbow. He turned his attention to her before she suggested, "You need to sleep. We can figure everything else out later." He nodded in agreement and started toward the door, but she stopped him. "Sleep in my bed for now, it's darker in here and you'll sleep better without me making a bunch of noise in the kitchen or something."

"It's okay, I don't mind," She cut him off.

"No El, just sleep here for now. It's not like I'm crawling in there with you or anything. I just want you to sleep."

He looked too exhausted to argue. She tugged his hand, and led him over to her bed. "I need to make some calls, but I'm not going anywhere. I'll order some lunch or something so you can eat once you're up."

"Thank you, Olivia." His blue eyes communicated the deep gratitude she knew he felt.

Not sure what to say, she nodded and walked back towards the door. She turned to watch him settle into her bed before she turned the light off and shut the door behind her.