"Woah, baby girl! Don't move." Fin gently pushed her shoulders back, forcing her to lay back down.

Where the hell am I? A strong montage of foggy memories assaulted her. Violently throwing up in Cragen's trash can. An ambulance ride she complained through. More vomiting. Emergency surgery.

Her throat felt like she swallowed sand, "What happened?" She finally croaked out.

"I'm not up to speed on medical speak," Fin admitted. "Doc's say bleeding ulcer."

Olivia's brain felt foggy and slow. His words entered her consciousness and with the speed of slow dripping honey. So many questions sat impatiently on the edge of her tongue, but her brain struggled to organize words. She felt herself breathing faster as panic began to set in. All she could do was whimper as flashbacks of her time with Lewis assaulted her senses. The mental fog of whatever painkillers were dripping in her veins took her back to a place she couldn't seem to escape. Fin's voice felt far away.

"Hey hey hey," Fin's voice tried to sound soothing, but she sensed his panic. "Shit." His footsteps echoed and she heard him call out the door, "Get yo asses in here now! She's havin a panic attack!"

Hurried footsteps crashed through the door, but their sound felt like echos coming from the back of her brain. She wasn't here, she was there and she knew no one was coming to save her.

-000-

Elliot was in the middle of escorting a cuffed Italian criminal to a holding cell when his phone pinged four times in rapid succession. Shit. It took all his self control to leave his phone in his pocket while he processes this arrest.

After what felt like an eternity, the job was done and he fearfully pulled his phone from his pocket. His stomach dropped when he saw the texts came from Amanda.

Liv's on her way to the hospital.

Don't know much. Vomited blood in Cragen's office.

Kathy visited

You should come home.

Elliot's entire system felt overrun with a fear he hadn't ever known. The voices around him faded away and only one thought took over. Home. I got to get home.

-000-

Olivia felt like she was stuck in a dimension with no sense of time. Everything around her felt muddled and foggy. Dream, reality, and unfortunate flashbacks held her captive in a distorted mind numbing place.

The light from the room burned her eyes and she swore she was hallucinating when she heard a familiar voice yelling in the hall. After a little commotion she felt a familiar hand on her check. "Hey baby, hey." Her eyes felt cemented shut. His voice was low, "Liv, I'm here okay. I'm back." She felt his lips on her forehead and the sensation gave her the energy to peel her eyes open.

A pair of perfect blue eyes held hers. "Oh thank God," he cried and gripped her hand. His forehead pressed to hers and she felt her tears mix with his. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I won't leave again. I'm sorry."

She still felt foggy, but his hands on her created some breakthrough clarity. She liked her dry lips, "tell them to get me off the f-ing opiates." He squeezed her hand and she tried to explain, but her voice cracked, "triggering," was all she could cough out.

He nodded in understanding and kissed her forehead. "I'll talk to them," he promised. "I'll be right back." He clung to her hand, but dropped it reluctantly before rushing from the room.

-000-

After Elliot freaked out at the medical staff and had her meds changed Olivia crashed out pretty hard. He wondered how long she'd been freaking out and no one knew why. His heart broke at the sight of her and he felt sick. He should have fought harder to stay. She needed him, and again he failed to be there.

He still had no idea what actually happened. Fin was at the hospital when he arrived, but he cleared out once Elliot got there. He hadn't had the opportunity to ask him any questions. Knowing Amanda would fill him in he shot her a text. Amanda had been an unexpected ally in all of this and he couldn't be more grateful.

E: What exactly happened?

A: Is she okay, no one has updated me at all!

Elliot felt bad. How had everyone kept Amanda out of the loop when she'd helped Liv so much? It was frustrating how much everyone seemed to be dropping the ball lately.

E: She's okay- mostly. I don't know a ton of details yet. We were focused on getting her panic attack under control. Turns out the opiates they had her on were triggering her pretty bad.

A: Damn it. Why didn't anyone check that? We all know the feeling of opiates triggers her badly.

E: Well she finally told me and we got it sorted out.

E: What happened? I know she was struggling, but she seemed okay as she could be considering everything.

A: She'd been complaining about her stomach for a while. I assumed it was anxiety.

E: Me too.

Elliot pushed down the rising guilt. He should have known it was something more. But he missed the signs.

A: She had been okay. Stressed but functioning. Then Kathy came for a a visit.

E: Oh God.

Elliot filled with fury. How could Kathy do that? How could she be so insensitive? Why couldn't she just leave Olivia out of all this?

A: It seemed like it was going okay. Not super heated as far as I could tell. But almost immediately after she left Olivia started throwing up. Cragen and Fin rushed in, but she was already vomiting blood and then she passed out.

Elliot felt sick. He felt tears flooding his eyes while he watched Olivia sleep. She'd suffered so much, and his presence and the drama he brought with him only made things worse.

E: I can't believe Kathy came.

A: I was surprised. I'd never met her before. I would have intervened sooner if I knew.

E: it's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault it's mine.

A: it's not your fault. She's been through a lot. Can you let me know what's going on? Our squad communication loop seems to be spotty.

No kidding.

E: I'll text you when I know more.

A: Thanks.

He kissed Olivia's hand once more and dropped his head to the bed next to their clasped hands. The adrenaline coursing through him began to subside and he felt exhausted and jet lagged. He quickly fell asleep, his hand still in hers.

-000-

Olivia groaned. She felt like she'd been hit by a bus. Her stomach felt like someone pummeled it in a fight and her throat felt like he swallowed hot coals. Her eyes wandered down her arm to her fingers being warmed by a familiar calloused hand.

He looked horrible, but she was certain she looked worse. A knock at the door startled her and she turned as a doctor and a couple nurses entered the room. Elliot's head shot up, first checking her before rushing his attention to the doctor.

The doctor scrolled through his tablet, likely pulling up her chart. He lifted his eyes to hers, "How are you feeling today?"

"Not great," Olivia said as if it were obvious.

"Sorry about that," the doctor apologized, "hopefully you will feel a lot better from here on out." He continued, "You had a pretty significant ulcer. I'm assuming it developed during your," he hesitated, "um…"

"My abduction." She finished for him.

"Yes," he affirmed. "The excessive amounts of alcohol and opioids destroyed your stomach lining and the ulcer probably developed then." The doctor stopped to observe her reaction. "Ulcers like this eventually heal themselves, but the stress you've been under complicated the healing process. Stress doesn't usually create ulcers but it can definitely exacerbate them and interfere with healing." Great. William Lewis is the gift that keeps on giving.

Olivia felt intensely frustrated. She'd done everything to mitigate her stress but life seemed to keep kicking her in the teeth, making her stress almost impossible to manage. "So what now?" Her voice held a bitterness she couldn't seem to contain.

The doctor didn't seem to mind her tone and answered her question. "We went in and repaired the blood vessel that had eroded. We will treat you with medication that will help repair and improve the quality of your stomach some diet changes I feel confident that this should resolve without any more complications."

Olivia closed her eyes and let out a cleansing breath. Hopefully her life could chill the hell out so her body could actually heal. "When can I go home?"

"That's always the golden question," the doctor said with a smile. "We want to keep you for observation tonight, but we can get you out of here in the morning."

That was a relief. She hated the hospital. Between her own trauma, and taking non stop disclosures, the hospital left a bad taste in her mouth.

The doctor glanced between Olivia and Elliot. He'd been so quiet she nearly forgot he was there. "Any questions?" The doctor asked.

Both shook their heads, but the doctor asked one more question. The question the entire world always asked, "May I ask what your relationship is, so I can put it on my chart? And is he an approved representative to release medical information to?"

Olivia and Elliot exchanged a look, not exactly sure what their relationship was at this point. Finally Elliot answered, "We're partners."

That was a safe answer, and an ambiguous one. Let the doctor make whatever he wanted from that. "And yes, he can receive medical information on my behalf." She glanced over at Elliot who seemed choked up for some reason.

The doctor made some notes on the tablet, and then held it out for Olivia. "I just need a quick signature so it's official."

Olivia quickly signed and handed the tablet back to the doctor. "Well, if you don't have any questions I'll let you rest. If you think of any questions, the nurses can help you with most things." He gave them a reassuring smile. "I'll be back in the morning to get you discharged."

The doctor gave them a quick wave before leaving the room. The air felt think as Olivia moved her attention to the man gripping her hand beside her. There were some conversations that needed to happen, but she was so damn tired.