Elliot always tried to do the right thing, but he never felt like he was good at it. He carefully toed the line in his black and white universe and he frequently stumbled into the black. It made working in SVU simple. There was bad and good with no wiggle room.
His black and white world made sense to him. It soothed him. There was always an answer. Always an exact right and an exact wrong. It was simple. It was clear.
Then Olivia happened. Suddenly his black and white world melted into varied shades of gray. The world he knew, the one that made sense, was completely turned upside down. She was an unexpected whirlwind that changed him. He loved her, and suddenly nothing was simple.
She wasn't a fling, or a momentary lapse in judgment. They kept their relationship in check for years. He tried to do the right thing , but as years went on the clearly defined lines became fuzzy. And now? Now the things he always thought were wrong seemed right , and he was confused as hell.
But even in this hailstorm of guilt and confusion, he knew one thing. She needed him. She needed this. And she was Olivia. She could have him. All of him. Even if this sacrificed his soul, it would be worth it. She was worth the sacrifice.
As his hand glided over her wet skin he made a choice. He would gladly burn in hell in exchange for this slice of Heaven.
Her hands crept behind his neck and her fingers splayed out on the back of his head. Her lips held contact with his like her life depended on this. This wasn't lustful desire. It was emotional longing. It was a desperate search for connection.
She adjust her weight and he got them standing. Her hands slipped down his abs and she felt his breathing quicken. Both his hands held her cheeks as he kissed her deeply. His tongue was in her mouth, and her heart pounded. His hands moved over her body as he backed her up.
Her back finally met the tiled wall and he groaned when her entire body pressed into his. His hands slid from her hips over her ass and landed on her slick upper thighs. Her lips broke away and a pleasured noise escaped from her lips. He kept his hands there while his mouth moved down her neck and chest. His tongue lapped at the beads of water. She gasped, and her head tilted back as his lips continued to explore lower and lower on her chest. His hands moved everywhere, and she began to lose herself in him.
She no longer drowned in thought. Her only focus was on his touch, and the feeling of his skin beneath her fingers. For a moment they forgot about all their fear and pain. They were whole, complete, and indomitably strong while wrapped in each other's arms.
-000-
She savored the quiet stillness after their passionate storm.
Her insides that were once consumed with confusion and terror now were awash with peace and calm. She felt stronger and loved. He had her back and she was certain he always would.
His hands slid down her body and dropped to the wall behind her, he eased his weight away from her as she tried to remember how to stand. When she teetered, his strong hands grasped her upper arms, holding her steady. She leaned into his bare chest while she let her mind and body find the ground again.
His lips brushed against her ear when he asked, "You okay?"
She was more than okay. "I'm perfect." She felt a little more grounded and she was able to pull away from him slightly.
He left a lingering kiss on her forehead. "We need to get dressed," he murmured. "Amanda can't guard the door forever."
She dropped a kiss on his chest before pulling away. A soft laugh escaped her lips. "What does she think was happening I n here?" She began to towel off. "I mean she's gotta know something is up if you told her to guard the door."
She handed him her towel since obviously didn't bring one.
"She basically lives with us." He rubbed the towel behind his neck. "I'm sure she is well aware of everything going on between us."
Olivia pulled on her work slacks. "Well, at least she's discreet. I'm not sure now is the right time to disclose any type of relationship."
"Oh definitely not the time," he agreed vehemently. He slid on his shirt and started in his buttons.
Olivia got her bra on before sauntering over to where he stood. She pushed his hands away so she could button up his shirt. She gave him a cheeky smile, "I didn't get to take it off so I want to at least get it back on."
She finished the line of buttons, and he cupped her cheek. His eyes found hers. "I love you."
She dropped into his chest for a tight hug. "I love you too." She whispered.
-000-
The press conference resembled the media circus present at the trial. Reporters climbed over each other in an attempt to acquire the best sound bite.
Elliot stood as close to her as possible, while staying outside the camera's view. He kept his arms folded and continually scanned the sea of faces for anything out of the ordinary. He trusted a precious few with her safety, so he planned to be her shadow for as long as the man hunt continued.
He tried not to focus on the words coming from her mouth. Hadn't that man taken enough from her? He seemed hell bent on destroying her . Not just physically. He baited her into humiliation at every turn. He hated it, and he knew if it came down to it, he would have no qualms about ending the psychopath's life.
-000-
After her statement she retreated to the bunks. That familiar stomach pain was returning and suddenly couldn't keep anything down.
Elliot held her hair back as she vomited again. She couldn't decide if she wanted to scream or cry. The last thing she needed was for her ulcer to start bleeding. That would be fantastic.
She finally sat up and Elliot brushed his fingers through her hair to smooth it out. "Have you been taking your meds or did they get left at the apartment?"
She dropped onto the mattress and bounced against the springs. She felt like dying. "I forgot them, but I didn't want you to go get them so I didn't say anything. I thought I could do without."
He gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'll stay, but Amanda or Fin needs to pick them up. You obviously need them." He brushed some hair away from her face affectionately.
She knew her whole body radiated exhaustion. She was so damn tired. "We're going to get him," he promised.
She wanted to believe him, but she had a feeling. A premonition. In her gut she knew this wouldn't be over until he had her. She felt like she was on borrowed time.
-000-
Hours after her statement he thought she might come unglued. Murphy finally kicked her out of the precinct, insisting she go to the hotel and sleep. As if that were possible.
Without a choice in the matter she hunkered down in the hotel room, with Elliot dutifully trailing behind her. The time crept along. The TV provided background noise, but not much else. Elliot fell asleep, and she laid next to him, using his shoulder as a pillow. She watched the figures light the TV screen, but she wasn't interested in the plot. Sleep evaded her. She cuddled into Elliot's side and draped a leg of his. She closed her eyes, but her mind flew through a stream of thoughts.
She dropped a kiss on Elliot's shoulder. His slow even breathing indicated he was very asleep. She watched his face while he slept. Sometimes she couldn't believe he was here with her, and he loved her.
She tried to close her eyes and relax, but her phone pinged and she nearly jumped to snatch it from the nightstand. Her stomach sank.
Come get the girl. Alone. Or she dies. Leave your guard dog behind.
For a moment, her brain blanked. She read the words, but they lacked meaning. She felt as frozen as the night Lewis ambushed her in her apartment. Mind numbing blankness consumed her.
When her brain finally processed the situation, it began to race. How the hell was she supposed to ditch her guard dog AND her security detail!? She knew he wouldn't give her an abundance of time. She had to find a way out of here. The time she knew was coming was here. She had to face the monster. Again. But this time only one of them would survive.
Hey! Just popping in to say thanks! I love all the comments and I read every single one! They keep me motivated, and you are all amazing!
