We Wanted This Pain
by luvsbitca
Day One
Jamie stood at the door and swapped the bag from one hand to the other. He wanted to ring the bell again, but he had always had to give Roy a little more time than other people to get to the door; sometimes his knee just didn't move right.
"What?" Roy grunted as he yanked the door open.
Jamie grinned. "Hello Roy, nice to see you, what the fuck do you think you're doing having major fucking surgery when your best friend can't be here to help?"
"Fuck off, Jamie."
Jamie ignored him and stepped into the house. He dropped his two duffle bags onto the floor and then looked at Roy properly. "You look shit."
"Fuck you."
"You wish, Grandad."
Roy rolled his eyes. "What are you doing here?"
Jamie reached out and closed the door, pulling it out of Roy's hand, and then shrugged. "I called your sister to ask her about whether Phoebe's team did need an assistant coach and Phoebe tells me you can't coach the team because you've just had surgery. Then she charged me five quid for my reaction."
"She's a fucking menace."
"So, I speak to your sister and she explains that you had the fucking knee reconstruction you've been putting off for at least three years and you'd stayed with them for all of a week after it happened but you'd insisted you could come home and here you fucking are trying to be Mr fucking Independent Roy Kent, and she was worried about you but she's annoyed at you too."
"I know she is," Roy grunted, hobbling past Jamie and heading for the lounge room. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I get home from me trip to Brazil, and you don't answer the phone so I can't know you were being a twat, I came to help you be less of a twat."
"What?"
"Fuck," Jamie said, looking at the mess of the room that would normally be so fucking neat. "Good thing I did, you need me help."
"Fuck off, you know where the door is."
Jamie rolled his eyes and stepped into the room, he collected the couple of bowls that were sitting on the side table and took them into the kitchen. He went back for a couple of glasses, swapped them out with a clean one of water and turned the kettle on. He found more dishes in the kitchen and pulled the dishwasher open to see if it was clean. He walked back into the lounge room again and used the bag from the meal delivery to collect up any rubbish left around.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Jamie looked down at the bag. "What the fuck does it look like? Are you having memory issues?"
"Fuck you, why are you here?"
Jamie sighed and sat down. "Am here to help you, you daft prick? Why would you go in for surgery without telling me?" Roy didn't respond. "And you're a grumpy fucker who should still be with Ruth and Phoebe so why the fuck are you here?"
"Ruth has enough to deal with especially since I can't help her with Phoebe like I normally do."
"Twat."
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you, you twat, you think you don't deserve to have anyone helping you? You think your sister doesn't want to fucking help you, you think you're a fucking burden or some shit, fuck you and your fucking twat arse."
Roy grunted.
"Phoebe's coming over tomorrow, picking her up at 8 so you'll have to get over yourself before then."
"She can't come here; I can't do anything for her."
"Good thing I'm going to be here too then, grandad. Are there any other dishes?"
Roy ignored him for a few minutes but Jamie continued to stand over him until Roy caved. "In the fucking bedroom."
"Your bedroom is upstairs, how the fuck you been getting up the stairs?"
"The guest room," Roy grunted.
"You been sleeping on Phoebe's fucking princess bed?"
Roy growled, Jamie laughed and went in to collect a few mugs and glasses from the actual spare room. He tidied up the room while he was there but Ruth said Roy had only been home three days so there wasn't too much mess. Jamie put the few dishes that would fit in and then turned the dishwasher on, took his bags up to the other spare room and threw them onto the bed. He opened the fridge to see what there was that he was capable of throwing together but he knew he wasn't a cook on Roy's level. He opened the freezer and grinned; Roy had so many frozen dinners in there he wouldn't have to cook for the grumpy fucker. He pulled a few things out and thankfully everything was labelled so he shoved it back in and went to watch Roy glare at his book for a few moments.
"Fuck off," Roy grunted.
Jamie laughed. "What do you want for lunch?"
Roy glared.
"Fine, you don't get a fucking choice then."
Roy looked back at his book and Jamie went back into the kitchen. He pulled the bread off the bench and started making toasted cheese sandwiches. He threw ham and tomato in his own and grabbed the pepper. He knew Roy was a grumpy bastard and he wondered if the other man was keeping up with his pain medication, he hadn't seen it in the bedroom or the lounge room…
"Roy!" he yelled out, walking out of the kitchen, "when did you last take your pain medication?"
Roy looked guilty.
"Where are they?" Jamie said, beyond fucking pissed. "Why would you be so stupid? Your sister is a fucking doctor, and you know how important pain management is in handling injuries, I know you've had the same lectures I have by just as many doctors and medical staff."
"I needed to come home," Roy grunted, "and they make me…loopy."
"I am telling Phoebe about this and letting her lecture you, now where are they? I'm making you lunch, do you need to take them with food or after?"
Roy grunted.
Jamie yanked the book out of his hands. "Where are they, Roy, come on, you know you need to take them."
Roy sighed. "They're in the bedside table, I've been taking them at night to sleep."
"Dickhead," Jamie said.
"I know, you don't have to fucking tell me I'm a dickhead, Tartt, why the fuck are you here if I'm such a dickhead?"
"Because you had major surgery, yeah, so I came over to help you since you ain't letting your sister look after you even though she would."
"I know she would, but she doesn't need another thing to deal with."
"Twat."
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you right back," Jamie said, leaving Roy to get his tablets. He read the box and saw that he needed to take them before eating so he stood over Roy until the other man swallowed two tablets and petulantly stuck out his tongue like some tv show junkie. "Good, thirty minutes and you can eat."
Roy picked up the book again and grunted.
Jamie left him to it and went back into the kitchen, he finished making his sandwiches and then slid the pan onto the stovetop and pulled his phone out of his back pocket.
"Hello?" Ruth said, answering the phone quickly.
"Your fucking brother is a fucking twat and I can't believe he's capable of functioning on a day to day basis."
"Fuuuuuck, what did he do?"
"He hasn't been taking any pain relief."
"I'll kill him."
"I told him I was going to tell Phoebe and let her lecture him about it, yeah?"
Ruth laughed. "Good call, how is he?"
"How do you imagine?" Jamie grunted. "I'm making him a toasted sandwich but all I wanna do is yell at him some more."
"Thank you, he likes HP sauce with his toasted sandwiches."
"Fucking twat doesn't deserve it," Jamie said, as he walked to the cupboard and pulled the bottle out.
"He needs to eat and he needs rest, as much as he can get, he needs to walk around at least every hour and he needs to stop being a twat."
Jamie nodded. "Right, see you tomorrow."
"Bye, Jamie, wait, wait, Phoebe wants to talk to you."
"Jamie Tartt," Phoebe said, she always called him that the first time she spoke with him. "How's Uncle Roy?"
"He's in a bit of pain but he's lookin' forward to see you tomorrow, yeah, you're his favourite person."
"Give him a hug for me, see you tomorrow."
And she was gone, the call ended in his ear. He flipped his sandwiches out of the pan and put Roy's in, he made them both a cup of tea and took both plates into the lounge room when they were ready, he put the food down in front of Roy and twirled the bottle of sauce around.
"Your sister also thinks you're a twat, but she told me about you liking this with your toasted cheese sandwiches."
"I am a twat," Roy growled out.
"I know," Jamie said, "those tablets took effect pretty fucking fast."
"How was Brazil?"
"I have a bruise on me hip from too many landings doing a fucking bicycle kick."
Roy glared down at the sandwich on his plate. "They shouldn't have done that."
"I still have a couple of weeks before the pre-season training starts."
"But you've kept up your fitness, I'm not going to be able to get up at 4am for a while and if you've let yourself-"
"Fuck, Roy, I'm in the best condition of me life and I'm not gonna fuck that up, I'm not the twat."
"Thank you," Roy said quietly, biting into his sandwich after dipping it into the sauce on his plate.
"You're welcome."
"Why didn't you tell me you were having the operation?"
"I only told Ruth."
"But why didn't you tell me?"
Roy shrugged. "Why would I?"
Jamie pretended that didn't hurt.
"You have more important things to do than whatever it is you're doing here."
"I'm here to help me best friend because he's a twat who left his sister's house."
"You don't need to be here."
Jamie threw his head back and yelled. "For fuck's sake, Roy, I'm not letting you mumble through alone."
"Muddle," Roy said.
"What?"
"Mumble is what you do when you don't want people to understand what you say, you think I'm going to muddle through alone."
"Fine, I'm not going to let you muddle through alone like you don't have people who are willing and happy to help you like you help them."
"I'm not a good person to be around when I'm not in pain," Roy ground out. "I'm a fucking nightmare when I'm hurt. I can't let Phoebe deal with that."
Jamie sighed. "I choose to be here even when you're a fucking nightmare."
"Why?"
"You're me best friend, ain't ya?"
Roy stopped talking, just ate both sandwiches, and drank his tea. He sat back and yawned, drowsy eyes watching Jamie as he collected the dishes, added them to the dishwasher stack and went back.
"Your sister said you need to make sure you walk every hour so let's take a walk around the house and then you can nap."
"I'm not a fucking child."
"Then why are ya acting like a three-year-old?"
Roy sighed. He shuffled himself forward and braced himself on the arm of the chair and then pushed himself up. He took a minute to get steady and then walked out and around the chair. He started walking slowly and carefully through the room towards the hallway; Jamie followed behind him through the kitchen, around the other room that was full of books and a couple of comfortable chairs, then to the bedroom where Roy was sleeping.
"When'd you last shower?"
Roy grunted. "It hurts."
"Come on, have a shower then a sleep and you'll feel better."
"I don't fucking like you acting like a mature fucking adult right now."
Jamie laughed. "Come on."
Roy nodded and started toward the bathroom. "I have no fucking clothes."
"I'll go up and get something," Jamie offered.
He waited until Roy almost shut the door and then rushed up the stairs to Roy's room. He pulled out several pairs of underwear, track pants and some soft tops. He also grabbed some socks in case Roy was one of those people who liked socks in bed. He also dug around in Roy's shoes for a few pairs of slides that had decent grip because he was going to make that fucker go outside when Phoebe was over. He went back downstairs and put the things in Roy's new bedroom. He went back to the bathroom and listened to Roy grunt in pain a couple of times before the shower shut off.
"Do you need any help?" Jamie asked.
"No," Roy grunted, pain clear in his voice. He threw open the door, towel wrapped around his waist. Jamie's eyes flicked down to look at the scar, it was swollen and angry looking, not infected, but he could see how invasive the operation had needed to be.
Jamie nodded and followed Roy until he stopped outside of the door, he waited for Roy to throw him the wet towel and Jamie left Roy to pull on a pair of pants and slide into bed. Jaime watched the other man prop his knee and then pull the blankets over his good knee and around his hip leaving his healing knee exposed. Jamie reached out and turned off the light, he pulled the door most of the way closed. He threw on a load of washing, unpacked and stacked the dishwasher, and then sat down with a sigh on the couch. He dropped his head down into his hands. When he'd left for Brazil with Keeley, he hadn't thought anything would change between that moment and returning home. Instead, he'd come home a few days before to find his best friend wouldn't answer the phone.
He'd called Ruth partly because he couldn't work out what was going on with Roy. This wasn't what he'd expected. When he and Keeley had been relaxing at the beach the day after the ad wrapped, she'd said she forgave him for all of the crap they pulled that night of the fight. She'd also told him that she was ready to talk to Roy so when Roy wouldn't answer the damned phone, he'd thought maybe Roy had lied when he said the stuff with Keeley wouldn't affect their friendship. Jamie had called Ruth expecting her to laugh and say that Phoebe still wanted him to be the assistant coach but that it wasn't a surprise Roy wasn't answering the phone because he and Keeley were reconciling. Instead, she'd sounded annoyed and frazzled and worried when she told him what had happened. Jamie had known he needed to do something – he liked Ruth, she was amazing and she had created the best fucking kid Jamie knew. He'd have come to help Roy if Ruth was a terrible person because Roy was doing that thing he did that Jamie and Dr Sharon had talked about, where Roy tried to be a completely self-sufficient and not need anyone. She said Jamie's need to help had more than a little bit to do with his mother being a single-parent who did everything when his dad pissed off and Jamie had felt the desire to do what he could to make her life easier. When Simon had come along it took him a long fucking time to accept that the other man could be that support for his mother instead. Dr Sharon was the only one who knew that Jamie had feelings for Roy, the only one who he didn't think would laugh at him, except his mum of course, when he told them. Here he was, ignoring the pain of Roy telling him to fuck off repeatedly with all of the practise he'd had over the years. The first time it had happened was his very first day at Richmond and even though it wasn't nearly as bad as all of that now it still hurt when Roy proved he didn't need Jamie like Jamie craved and burned for Roy's attention. Jamie didn't want to think about what Dr Sharon was going to say when he told her he was here and that he'd invited himself and that he had been told multiple times to fuck off by Roy today. Jamie let himself sit there for a while and the unpacked some of this clothes and toiletries and went downstairs to fuck about on the TV.
Roy slept for a few hours and then came back out, rubbing at his face and walking with the crutches that Jamie had seen next to the bed.
Jamie looked at the crutches with a frown.
"The pills make me a little unsteady and I don't want to fucking fall."
Jamie nodded and stood up. He waited for Roy to settle and then went to walk to the kitchen. Roy's hand caught him instead.
"Yeah, grandad?"
"Thank you, I'm a fucking twat. Thank you for coming here and making me stop being a fucking twat and I'm so damn sorry for telling you to fuck off."
"Oh."
"I am not good at pain."
"No shit."
"And I take it out on the people around me sometimes."
"That's shit."
"I know."
"You should stop that."
"I fucking know," Roy said. "I didn't do it at Ruth's but it was too fucking hard to keep it all inside especially with how fucked the medication makes me, so I came home."
"Fucking hell, Roy, you need to talk to someone."
"I have been, since Dr Sharon left, it's why I had the surgery. She asked me why I wasn't doing anything to fix my knee and why I had ignored it for the last year. I didn't have a fucking answer, so I got Ruth to get me a recommendation for a top-class orthopaedic surgeon and I got the surgery."
Jamie grinned.
"And now I'm in a lot of fucking pain and I don't want to put that on anyone."
"Or you could take the painkillers and not be in pain and just rely on the people who love you to look after you and to call you out on being a twat."
Roy's shoulders drooped slightly.
"Wanna cuppa?"
Roy nodded. "Thanks."
Jamie stood up, just as he was stepping out of the doorway, he realised what he'd inadvertently admitted to Roy.
That night he made them both dinner, gave Roy another pill, and when Roy was in bed, he showered himself and went up to the room he had claimed.
He crawled into the bed and rang his mother.
"Jamie!" she answered.
"Hello, Mummy."
"How are you, my sexy little baby? Are you coming up next week?"
"Well, Mummy, I'm not sure."
"Why?"
"I'm at Roy's, he's had a knee operation, and I'm lookin' after him."
"Are you?"
"Yeah, Mummy, I got here and the fucking twat…sorry, the prick wasn't takin' his pills, was he?"
"You can't come up," she said, no question in her voice.
"I can still come up, Mummy, I just don't wanna leave him alone."
"You said he and Keeley were getting back together."
Jamie had called his mother and told her all about Roy avoiding his phone calls and his fear that Roy and Keeley were back together. Afterwards, he'd gone out and spent the night with a very nice redhead with a sweet laugh and husky voice. They'd both had fun but it hadn't made him feel very good.
"She ain't here, I haven't asked what happened."
"You should stay and look after him, Jamie."
"I always come home during me off-season."
"Yeah, but your man needs you."
Jamie rolled his eyes. "He ain't me man."
Georgie laughed. "He should be."
"Yeah, but he ain't. I'll come up before the proper pre-season starts, yeah?"
"Of course, you come anytime, my baby."
He and his mother chatted for a while longer; about Simon, her work at the local primary school, Simon's nephew who wanted to come down to London and see a game, and Jamie's plans for his hair this season. Afterwards, he typed out a message to Keeley and stared at it for a long time. He decided he'd make a decision tomorrow; he put his phone on to charge and fell asleep much quicker than he was expecting.
