After a painful eternity, Elliot's surgeons emerged from the OR. Her heart pounded furiously and she felt nauseous again. She swallowed back the bile, willing herself to not throw up right now. The surgeons approached Amanda, Olivia and Nick, unaware that Elliot's family stood further down the hall. Olivia's eyes darted over to the women, and she made eye contact with Kathleen. She waved them over so they could hear the news as well.
When the women approached, the doctors looked up from their tablets in surprise. Over his glasses, one surgeon asked, "May we speak freely?" Eyes darting to the Stabler women.
"Of course," Amanda affirmed, "these are his daughters and his…" she hesitated.
"His wife," Kathy supplied.
THAT didn't help Olivia's nausea. With one word Kathy flung Olivia into the second place role of mistress. But now wasn't the time to argue labels, or the ethical dilemma of whether a person is divorced when papers are signed and submitted or when it's finalized by the courts.
Her eyes flicked to Amanda, who looked like she might argue over the missing 'ex' in that statement, but she kept her mouth shut. Olivia didn't care about any of that right now. She just wanted to know if Elliot was alive.
She didn't dare lift her eyes to the doctor's face, fearing his expression might betray him before the words came out. The spoken words echoed through her mind. "He's alive." She felt herself crying but she couldn't stop. Her hand covered her mouth as she tried to stifle the sound, but it didn't help. She felt reassuring hands patting her shoulders, but she barely noticed. He was alive. Her partner. Her best friend. The person she loved most in this world was alive.
"He's critical, and the next 24-48 hours are going to be crucial, and we will be monitoring him intensely." Olivia was still trying to get a grip on her emotions so she could hear the surgeon better. She tried some slow breaths. The surgeon continued, "For those of you who were on scene," he nodded towards the group of cops surrounding Olivia, "you are probably aware of how much blood loss he sustained. Honestly, I haven't seen anyone able to make it to us alive with that much traumatic blood loss in years, but he clearly wasn't going down without a fight." That comment made her heart swell. Of course he wasn't going down without a fight. He was Elliot. He was a fighter, and he promised to never leave her again.
"The next two days will allow us to see if the blood loss has damaged any other organs. Infection is a real concern. We repaired the lung, and retrieved the bullet." The lung damage was what we expected, but it should heal. This is going to be a long process. His body has to heal and regenerate the blood he lost. We transfused him, and that will help, but it will still take time." She could handle that. As long as he was going to survive, she could handle anything. "Any questions?" He was met with silence so he added, "We will know more as we go along. He's being transferred to the ICU now, and we can take one person back. His condition is fragile so we don't want lots of people in and out right now."
His eyes scanned the group of people and she knew he was waiting for someone to insist on going back. When his eyes fixed on Kathy, his wife, Olivia spoke up. "I'll go back first." She wasn't going to sit in the waiting room. She wanted her face to be what he saw when his eyes finally opened, and she wasn't going to be stuck on the outside anymore. She wouldn't be shoved behind the glass.
The doctor seemed confused, obviously deferring to the wife, assuming she had the right to be there first. Olivia's eyes turned to Kathy, hoping for once she would let Olivia have this. She loved Elliot, but she knew Elliot loved Olivia, and Olivia hoped Kathy would do what Elliot would want.
"Mom?" Maureen placed a hand on Kathy's shoulder, but she kept her eyes on Olivia.
Normally, Olivia would demure and acquiesce to what his family wanted, but she kept her eyes fixed on Kathy's. Olivia was his family just as much as the blonde woman standing in front of her. She wanted this, and she would not back down.
Amanda stepped forward, closer to Olivia, and she knew that Amanda was preparing to fight for what Olivia wanted. For what Elliot wanted. This mental image of Amanda pulling out her earrings to take on Kathy would have made her laugh under different circumstances.
Finally, Kathy sighed and faced the doctor. "He would want Olivia there. She needs to be there for him."
Olivia felt tears pricking her eyes, for what felt like the millionth time in a day. Amanda nudged Nick out of the way so she could push Olivia behind the doctor's steps.
When Amanda pushed Olivia past Kathy, she mouthed a sincere thank you. She knew this was a huge concession on her part, and it meant everything.
The doctor led her back to the ICU in relative silence before stopping at the door of Elliot's room. "I'll make sure the nurses know you are in here. They will want to get you off that IV soon."
Olivia nodded. The stupid thing hindered her movements, and she wanted to be able to reach for him unhindered. Amanda wheeled her in and helped her into the chair next to the bed. "Need anything?" Amanda kept her voice low, just above a whisper.
"I'm okay." Olivia answered without looking away from Elliot.
"K," Amanda said softly. "Just text me if you need anything okay?"
Olivia nodded, and Amanda added, "I'm sure IAB is going to be all over this mess. We will keep them away as much as possible."
"Thanks," Olivia murmured. IAB could f-ck themselves as far as she was concerned. Giving a statement was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. They could wait because she fully planned on camping out here for the next two days. She was not leaving him.
Amanda gave her a sad smile before shuffling out of the room.
Once alone, Olivia reached for Elliot's hand. The now familiar feeling of his hand in hers brought with it a sense of peace. The steady beating of the heart monitor acted as a calming soundtrack, obliterating the fear that had been eating away at her soul.
He looked horrible. Not like she expected anything different, but it was shocking. Her stomach flipped when her eyes drifted to the wound site, completely packed with gauze and tape. She could have lost him, and they were still not out of the woods. The doctor made it very clear that his condition could easily deteriorate, and the thought made her nauseous.
She watched Elliot shiver slightly. He was probably cold, or his body was stuck in shock, but she pulled the blanket higher up his torso, carefully avoiding the wound site.
She sat back down, and scooted her chair closer so she could lean over and take his hand. She lifted their joined hands to her lips. "Thanks El." She whispered, "Thank you for coming for me. For always coming for me." She laid her cheek against their intertwined hands, using them as a pillow. He was alive, and that knowledge allowed her to finally rest.
-000-
Where the hell was the comforting bright light everyone always talked about? Maybe that was for heaven bound people because, right now, all he felt was agonizing white hot pain. This has gotta be hell. He kind of figured this was going to be his final destination. After all, God didn't look too kindly on that whole divorce thing. Oh, and having sex with Olivia before his divorce was finalized probably ensured his one way ticket to hell.
Interestingly, he was at peace with his obvious descent into hell, but things started to take a strange turn. The fire like burning was suddenly accompanied by a feeling of drowning. How could he be drowning if he was dead? Last time he checked dead people couldn't breathe. Maybe that was part of this whole hell thing. It seemed like a horrible way to spend all of eternity. Then there was another thought. Maybe he was still alive, at least for now, because he physically felt his lungs struggling for air.
If he was alive, maybe he could see something. He tried prying his eyes open, but all his energy was absorbed by the need to breathe. Air was probably more important than seeing anyway. He decided to focus on that, but then he heard her voice.
"El." Her voice was so soft and quiet he nearly missed it, but he knew it was her. He pried his eyes open, and there she was, brown eyes hovering above him. "Hey El." She was crying, but at least she was alive. He wanted to touch the beautiful apparition, but his body refused to obey his mind. "No, no." She warned. "Stay still." He desperately wanted to touch her but it seemed all of his strength was absorbed by the act of breathing. Suddenly her warm hands were on his cheeks. He desperately tried to keep his eyes open, but they were so heavy. Just as they shut, he heard her quivering voice say, "I love you." But then, she was gone.
-000-
Oh God. His chest hurt. What the hell was that obnoxious beeping noise? He felt like he missed something. It seriously felt like he was missing an entire day, or was it a week? He felt weird and displaced. Damn that beeping was annoying.
His entire body felt weighed down, but then he felt something. He became very aware of the hand gripping his. He could smell the soft fragrance of her perfume and he knew she was here. Olivia.
He rubbed his thumb over the soft skin of her hand, and he felt her shift. The sound of her voice gave him the will to pry open his eyes. "El?"
And there she was, her perfect brown eyes fixed on his. She choked back a sob, and in an instant her forehead was gently pressed to his. Her breath warmed his skin, "Thank God." He felt her tears drip onto his cheek, and her lips brushed against his. "Thank you. Thank you for coming back to me."
He wasn't sure if she meant for finding her at the granary, or somehow defying death, but either way he was grateful too. He wanted to lift his hand to her cheek, but his limbs refused to comply. Instead, with his throat dry and gravely, he whispered, "I love you." That was all he could manage for now, but he could rest easy knowing she survived. They both did.
