Long chapter to make up for my long absence

Thanks to lady_of_space/funny-tragic-mess for being a pal and ghost writing a huge chunk of this and helping me out when I need it.


-August 22, 1932-

Everything changed when the Crash of '29 happened.

25% of the American workforce was gone. Banks closed. Lines for soup kitchens stretched down the block. Horror stories of farmers who couldn't harvest even one crop spread from mouth to mouth.

Elizabeth "Betty" Crocker, however, was baking cake—both literally and figuratively.

Over the past few years, she had gone from writing a simple baking column for the newspaper to hosting a cooking show on the local radio station, and had even written a cookbook. She had become a local celebrity of sorts, and people had begun to take her advice on things.

"Here you are, Your Imperial Majesty—"

"What did I fucking tell ya?!" the Condesce/Elizabeth scolded in a hushed tone. "On Earth, you're gonna call me 'Ms. Crocker.' Ya got that, Edith?!"

"Yes, Ms. Crocker," the young lady quickly said.

Edith—or rather, Zenith on Alternia—was the Condesce's favorite advisor—if she could even call her a favorite. She was rather the most...useful, you could say, though she could, at times, be quite annoying and clueless. To help speed up her "building an empire" thing on Earth, the Condesce had decided to bring Zenith with her to Earth and just have her assume the role of assistant—under the name Edith Schuyler, of course.

"Great." The Condesce resumed her "Elizabeth" persona and smiled. "So, Edith, what do you have for me today?"

Edith cautiously handed her superior a stack of envelopes. "More mail for you, Ms. Crocker," she squeaked. "I assume baking questions."

"Ah, the usual." Elizabeth took the letters from Edith and flipped through them. "Ah, it does look like they're all business related. Thank you, Edith. You may take a break."

Elizabeth grabbed a letter opener from her desk drawer and proceeded to tear open an envelope. "Fuckin' humans, don't know howta bake some fuckin' cookies," she mumbled to herself, tossing the letter on the desk. Elizabeth sighed and leaned back in her chair, thinking to herself about how she would go about this. Humans were so behind technologically—they didn't even have computers yet! How was she supposed to expand her baking empire this way?

"Eh, I'll figure it out."


-Monday, December 31, 6:47 pm / Karkat & Terezi's house-
Rose: 20 weeks along
Roxy: 10 weeks along

"No, Karkat, I don't want to go out for New Year's," Terezi groaned, rolling over in bed. "I'll just stay here with Katrina."

"It's right across the street, Terezi. It won't be bad I, I promise."

"It's not that I don't want to go, I don't feel like going." Terezi stuck her head under the pillow and wiggled down under the blankets. "You can go, I'll stay here. Bring me food."

Karkat sighed and sat down on the bed. "Are you okay?" he cautiously asked. "You've been really sluggish lately. Are you feeling okay?"

"Do I fucking seem okay?" Terezi bit back, picking up a pillow and throwing it at Karkat. "I feel terrible."

"Terrible?"

"Yes, terrible," she repeated. "Have fun tonight. I'll be here."

"Mm, alright.'' Karkat lifted up the pillow over Terezi's head and kissed her. "I hope you feel better."

Terezi did nothing but groan as he left the room.

The truth was, she felt much worse than "terrible." And it had all started after Isaac. At first she just thought she was still sore from that experience, but weeks passed. Then months. And it never went away. Soon it became much worse than soreness, and went back and forth between a dull pain and sharp stabs. And it never stopped.

Of course, since she wasn't human, she had wondered if it would even be a good idea to go to the doctor. Since it was obviously internal, the doctor would have to do an ultrasound or something to figure out what the problem was, exposing her troll anatomy. She had quietly mentioned it to Augeth, but she reminded her that she had no equipment to do anything, and it would probably require surgery for her to do something about it.

But lying in bed writhing pain wouldn't do anything, so Terezi finally sucked it up and got out of bed. It was around dinnertime, anyway, so she might as well get something to eat. As she walked downstairs, she spotted Obrina sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Karkat just left," said the other troll, getting up from her spot. "Why didn't you want to go with him?"

"Not feeling well. Besides, you always watch Katrina. It's time you had a break." The two went into the kitchen. "Where is she, by the way?"

"That's…a good question."

"Fuck."


-John & Vriska's house / 6:59 pm-

"Where's Terezi?" Vriska asked Karkat.

"She wasn't feeling well, so she decided to stay at home," replied Karkat. "She might come over later, though. Who else is supposed to be coming?"

John looked at his phone for messages, as it was already almost 7:00 and Karkat, Mr. Egbert, and Roxy were the only ones there. "Well, Rose, Kanaya, maybe my grandparents and my uncles. It sounds like nobody really knows what they want to do tonight."

"Is a New Year's party really necessary, then?" Karkat asked. "We've had one literally every year we've been here. It gets kind of boring."

"I…guess since I've just sat at home for New Year's most of my life, I feel like we have to have a party or something."

Before Karkat or Vriska could add anything, a tiny patter came closer and closer. "Daddy!" exclaimed a tiny voice, which belonged to a tiny body that ran into Karkat.

Karkat looked down at the tiny troll attached to his leg. "Katrina?" he questioned, peeling her off and picking her up in his arms. "How did you get over here?"

Katrina's face became serious. "Miss Obwina no pway. No fun."

Squatting down, Karkat looked his daughter in the eye. "Katrina, how did you get over here?" he calmly asked. "Did Mama or Miss Augeth or Miss Obrina take you?"

"No!" Katrina giggled. "Me!"

Though it was rather out of character for him, Karkat was appalled. He wasn't going to point fingers, but Katrina shouldn't have had a way to get out of the house and across the street without an adult. She wasn't even two years old yet, and wasn't even three feet tall, so it would be highly unlikely that a car would be able to brake in time for her to be unharmed, were she to dart in front of one.

The younger troll beamed proudly at her father, who sighed. "Katrina, don't do that again," he calmly stressed. "You could have gotten run over by a car or taken by a bad person. Don't go across the street without me, Mama, Miss Augeth, or Miss Obrina, okay?"

Katrina's eyes widened, and Karkat soon realized they appeared bigger because they were welling up with tears. She stuck her bottom lip out as far as it would go and began to snivel.

"Katrina, don't cry; I'm just telling you this so you don't get hurt."

John gave Karkat a subtle wink to indicate he had an idea. "Katrina," he said to the younger troll, bending down, "do you want to stay and play with Katrina?"

Karkat realized where he was going with this. "I don't think that would be a good idea," he replied, "since Katrina likes to run across the street when she's not supposed to."

Katrina's eyes got wide again. "I pwomise!" she exclaimed. "No wun cwoss stweet!"

"Okay, you can stay and play with Casey if you promise to not run across the street without me."

"I pwomise, Daddy!"

"Okay. Go play with Casey."

Katrina ran off to go play with her "cousin," while Karkat stayed with the others. "That was…helpful," he commented unsurely. Even though he and Terezi had lived on Earth for five years and Katrina would be two years old that May, he was still hesitant to share his softer side.

Vriska began to go on about something food-related when Karkat's phone vibrated in his pocket. It was Terezi, so he answered it.

"Hello?"

"Have you seen Katrina?" his wife frantically asked. "Obrina was watching her and we can't find her anywhere!"

Karkat sighed, just now realizing his mistake of letting Katrina off with a simple warning. "She's over here, actually. She told me everything was boring there so she decided to come over here."

"Karkat!" Terezi scolded. "She could have been hit by a car! She's already died once; she doesn't need to die again! At least, not until she's old…!"

"Look, I told her that," he calmly explained. "And she promises she won't cross the street without an adult."

"She could have died, and you let her go play?!"

"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" Karkat decided to go into the study for more privacy, and shut the door behind him.

"Um, how about take her back over here so she can be properly disciplined?!"

"Well, John was the one who suggested she stay over here! Besides, it's New Year's Eve; let her have a little fun!"

A very loud sigh was heard on the other side of the line. "Karkat, it's common sense! When she does something bad, we punish her! Not let her play with her friends!"

"Terezi, calm down…" Karkat was only trying his best to reason with her.

"Do not tell me to calm down! Our child almost got run over by a car, and I'm sitting here feeling like there is a knife through my egg sac!"

"…What?" Karkat stopped. "Terezi, you didn't tell me that…"

There was nothing but a huff through the speaker. "I'm calling a doctor." Then the line went dead.

"O…kay." Karkat put his phone back in his pocket, wondering what the heck just happened. Hopefully everything would return to normal after Terezi went to see a doctor. Maybe she'd be less moody.

Terezi went to her messages and texted Vriska. What's the name of the doctor you saw when you were pregnant with Casey?

As she was waiting for a response, she got on her laptop and tried to figure it out for herself. She had only been searching for a couple of minutes when she got a response.

Dr. Browne, at the hospital. Why?

Just wondering. Terezi hated keeping her answer vague in such a serious situation, but Vriska was helping to host a party. She didn't want to interrupt.

After googling the doctor and reading the website, Terezi found she could actually just make an appointment online rather than have to call. As she was filling out the form, she remembered someone she could talk to about all this.

Latula.

She desperately clicked on the now-familiar Pesterchum icon and quickly typed up a message.

- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling gamegrlCoolkid [GC] at 20:21-
GC: L4TUL4 PL34S3
GC: 1 N33D TO T4LK TO YOU 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG
GC: wh4t?
GC: sp1ll th3 b34ns!
GC: 1D R4TH3R T4LK TO YOU 1N P3RSON TO B3 HON3ST
GC: oh com3 on :/
GC: 1TS 4CTU4LLY S3R1OUS TH1S T1M3
GC: 4lr1ght
GC: k33p 1n m1nd 1m br1ng1ng m1tun4, though
GC: WH4T3V3R, JUST G3T OV3R H3R3
- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling gamegrlCoolkid [GC] at 20:26-


Back at John and Vriska's, John's grandparents had finally arrived, and had (unbeknownst to the others) brought his (former?) uncle Daniel and three of his cousins, Sam, Ryan, and Alexis. John struggled for a few seconds to form a coherent sentence asking where his aunt was, but Peggy enveloped him in a warm, grandmotherly hug and practically squealed terms of endearment before quietly whispering in a low voice to not, for the love of all that is pure and holy, bring up Joanna.

After greeting his grandfather and the other members of his extended family, he made his way into the living room and tried to find a conversation he could insert himself into amidst all the din. He glanced over at his father, who had his arms around Roxy's shoulder as he laughed. John smiled, because his dad seemed perfectly content—something he hadn't seen in a long, long time.

"It's weird, isn't it?" asked a soft voice from behind him. John turned around to find Rose resting in the overstuffed armchair he had recently picked up from Goodwill for a mere twenty dollars, one hand resting uncomfortably on her stomach as the other dug around in a small bag. She looked anxious and almost unsettled, and he remembered when she had first introduced herself to him via Pesterchum. God, that had been forever ago.

"What?" he asked, not quite sure of what she meant.

"Like…it's all just really bizarre," she said, applying another coat of mauve-tinted lip gloss to her matte lips (long gone were the days of black lipstick hastily applied to her lips before speaking to her friends on webcam). "I mean, come to think of it, it's really a one in a million chance that we'd even meet in real life. And here we are, step-siblings, married to aliens, and…"

Rose's voice trailed off as the doorbell sounded. "I'd better go get that," John told her cheerfully, a bit worried about how she was doing. A while back, Vriska had told him about her considering an abortion, and it pained him to see his friends (or step-sister, for that matter) struggling with anything.

The smell of cocktail weenies and various party appetizers filled the air. Karkat had escaped into the kitchen and was now staring indifferently at the "traditional dish" he had brought to contribute. "Why do people even like pancakes?" he mumbled to himself, Katrina laughing as she hung onto his leg with Casey playing nearby. "Princess, I'm kind of busy right now."

As he peeked in the kitchen, John thought about reminding Karkat about actual party foods, but decided against it as he didn't want to irritate him any further. He simply plastered another smile across his face and went to answer the door. As he opened it, he froze, and it even took a second for him to actually realize what he was looking at. "Aunt…Joanna?" he asked, blinking and looking to her left. "Um, Karkat," he called back into the house, "I think you should come see this."

Karkat groaned audibly and, after whispering something to Katrina, came to join John. He was rather uninterested at what John had to show him, but as soon as he looked outside his face turned bright red.

"Kankri?!"

He hadn't seen his dancestor for ages, mainly due to the fact that he couldn't help but feel a combination of guilt and annoyance every time Kankri started ranting about cultural appropriation (after all, he himself was living on an alien planet in an alien hive raising his daughter by alien standards). However, Kankri looked just as surprised to see him, and they stared at each other for a moment in complete silence before Katrina interrupted.

"Daddy bwuver?!" she squealed, excited at the sight of seeing another troll bearing resemblance to her father.

"Um," said Karkat, but Kankri had already begun.

"Actually, if you are to go off of Alternian standards, young Vantas, it is safe to say that although Karkat and I are descended from the same ancestor and are near genetic clones, we have never conformed to humanity's standards of familiar units and therefore are not brothers," said Kankri, holding Joanna's hand. "Cultural appropriation is a topic very sensitive to me, and I would deeply appreciate it if you refrained from using such triggering language."

Katrina blinked, literally not understanding a single word he had said, and ran off to play with Casey.

Joanna laughed nervously and patted Kankri's hand with the passive-aggressive tendencies only known to present themselves in very irritating people such as herself. "Well," she said, "it's very nice to see you, John."

John frowned. This was getting weird.

"Um, you too, Aunt Joanna," he said, trying to not let his dislike for her show. "Uh, I hate to be rude, but…why are you here?"

Joanna laughed with an irregular tone. "Oh, Joseph sent out invitations over Facebook back in October," she said, smiling stiffly. "And I wanted to take the time to introduce you to my new husband."

John was instantly speechless, but Karkat spoke up. "What?!" he exclaimed, feeling both insulted and enraged down to the very core of his being. "Kankri, how did you even meet her?! And I thought you were celibate!"

"Well, it's rather a long story," said Kankri with a simpering—albeit utterly disturbing—grin as he flashed the golden band around his finger.

At that exact moment, John's uncle and Joanna's ex-husband Daniel walked past the door. He looked from Joanna to Kankri to the rings on their fingers before sighing a lengthy sigh and rolling his eyes.

Sam, who had been chatting in great depth with Rose and Kanaya, followed his father. "Mom?" he asked, excited despite the years of suppression by a bigoted mother. "Where have you been? Alexis and Ryan and I have all been trying to call you, but—"

As Kankri began to discuss the exact details of their marriage, John decided to tune out. However, once Vegas was mentioned, he immediately had to hear everything.


-Mid-December, Las Vegas, Nevada-

Joanna was beyond furious.

Due to her new found depressive state (stupid Daniel, stupid divorce, stupid, stupid, stupid) she had decided to go on a little trip to Las Vegas with several of her prayer group and PTA friends. Of course, when they got there, Nancy of all people insisted on going to an especially not-safe-for-work casino derived for "feminine pleasure." "Utterly disgusting," Joanna muttered while sipping a margarita. She was seated at a bar stool in a relatively tame—at least, for the City of Sin—establishment, and despite her love of pure morality, she had already downed three Exxxtreme Cherry Margarita Bonitas. She was almost done with her fourth when a tall, somewhat thin man sat next to her and promptly ordered the exact same thing.

For some odd reason, however, he seemed to be exceedingly familiar in appearance. Pale, grayish-colored skin, thick, curly black hair, and the slight beginnings of an unshaven beard...

Joanna gasped in drunken realization. "Jesus Christ?"

The man turned to face her, obviously surprised. "Actually, my name is Kankri Vantas, thank you very much. I honestly cannot appreciate such sentimental outbursts, and ma'am (unless your preferred pronouns deviate from your chromosomal gender), I believe you may be severely intoxicated and—what are you doing?"

Joanna had engulfed Kankri in a hug, barely registering his nubby candy corn horns or his bright yellow scleras. Alcohol makes everyone beautiful. "Jesus!" she sobbed, holding his pale hand, tears streaming down her face. "Please, forgive me Lord, for I have sinned!"

"Do not consider yourself to be worthless, because I find that to be a triggering and difficult subject to broach," whispered Kankri, taking a long gulp of his Exxxtreme Cherry Margarita Bonita. He had recently registered as an American citizen because the Alternian Empire was proving to be very, very difficult with culling policies towards mutants. He didn't necessarily regret it—after all, he was saving his own life with immigration—but he missed his friends deeply, even Meenah (they had been pale flirting for nearly a sweep when he left). This human woman, however, seemed very intent on believing that he was an incarnate of a widespread planetary religious phenomena, and secretly, he couldn't help but feel a little bit pleased.

Joanna, on the other hand, was absolutely racked with guilt. How did Jesus feel about her divorce? What if he didn't give her an automatic ticket to heaven? She decided, with logic only possessed by the seriously inebriated, to do the one thing that could secure her a place beyond the pearly gates. "Jesus, I love you."

There was absolutely no correct way to respond. Kankri's mental capacities shut down, rendering his knowledge of all things politically correct useless. Instead of going into a diatribe, he smiled and squeezed Joanna's hand. "I love you, too."

Overcome with an extremely narcissistic bout of excitement, Joanna kissed Kankri openly on the mouth. His cheeks flushed bright red before he sunk into his chair. No one had ever kissed him, let alone hugged him! This was absolutely bizarre and horrible and yet...he liked it.

Meanwhile, Joanna had calculated the ultimate way to get to her final destination. It was stupid, sure, and probably far-fetched, but who had ever been lucky enough to meet Jesus in Las Vegas? She grabbed Kankri's hand and began pulling him to a very prominent venue that she had heard of only from those awful tabloid magazines in the dentist's office—The Chapel of Love.


The environment had basically become incredibly awkward ever since the unlikely newlyweds arrived. Joanna seemed rather detached from her children, Daniel had completely disappeared, and Peggy and Bob were still having trouble comprehending everything they had just heard. Rose was still sitting in the overstuffed chair, her mother a few feet away on the love seat, both of them knitting tiny hats. Roxy was obviously struggling with the yarn, and Rose sighed as she began to unravel yet another row of clumsily-made stitches.

Suddenly, Roxy turned to her.

"Ma minette, pourquoi est la tante de John ici?"

Rose sighed deeply. "Je ne sais pas, Mom. Simplement l'ignorez."

Roxy nodded before turning pale. "Ugh."

"Mom?" asked Rose, almost dropping her near-perfect French accent before quietly deciding to switch back to English. "You don't look so good…"

"It's nothing," said Roxy breathily, lowering a hand to her stomach. "Just having trouble with morning sickness, that's all."

Meanwhile, Kanaya was talking to Sam, who kept looking nervously in the direction of his mother. "Well, truthfully, musical theatre has been one of the best parts of Earth I've been exposed to so far," she smiled, her near-British accent almost musical. "When I was in New York City with Rose, we often went to see off-Broadway productions, and—please forgive me—the majority of the casts in those productions were even more talented than their peers on the main stage."

Sam grinned at this. "Yeah! One of my…friends is looking into auditioning there. He…he goes to NYU for opera, and he's probably the best singer I've ever had the pleasure of listening to."

Kanaya nodded. "It was the same when I first heard Rose play the violin," she said almost dreamily, remembering being the troll equivalent of sixteen and seeing her through Troll Skype for the first time. Surprisingly, her now-wife didn't seem completely surprised by her appearance and only asked if she was cosplaying or experimenting with makeup during their third video chat. That had been an interesting conversation. "When you meet someone and they are extraordinarily talented, it's hard to think of that medium without thinking of the..."

"Yeah," said Sam a bit uncomfortably, shifting his weight and taking another sip of his drink. "When…when did you know?"

"Know what?"

"Um…you know. That you liked girls." His voice was barely a whisper, giving a signal to Kanaya that set off both her maternal instincts and her gaydar.

"You just do," she said with a wink. "It's never been too much trouble for me, but given your mother…"

They simultaneously glanced at Joanna, who was devouring some cookies. "Yeah," whispered Sam, sighing. "Thanks."

"Any time," said Kanaya, and he smiled.


Vriska sighed and tried to pretend she wasn't sitting next to the most judgmental and unintelligent human being she had ever encountered. She didn't exactly hate Joanna, but she was more annoyed and in awe at the fact that someone could be so stubborn and firmly rooted in their bigoted beliefs. However, just as she checked her phone for any text messages from Terezi, Casey came up to her and tugged at her cocktail dress.

"Mommy," she said, her eyes sparkling, "question!"

"Oh?" asked Vriska, bemused. Recently Casey had started talking much more and, after consulting several childcare books and online resources, Vriska had concluded her intellect was far above other children her age. She was rather proud and excited at the thought of her child being considered gifted. "What is it, Peanut?"

Casey attempted to climb onto her mother's lap and eventually received some assistance. "Aunt Kana, Aunt Wose gulls," she began, "and baby. Where daddy?"

The last part of the question just so happened to be asked in a moment of silence in between conversations, causing everyone to stare. Vriska opened her mouth but quickly closed it, trying to form an answer simple and innocent enough for a two-year-old to understand.

Her thoughts, however, were interrupted by Joanna.

"Well, Casey, there's only one mommy and one daddy," the older woman said in a sickeningly condescending tone. Across the room, a very pale Roxy excused herself and went to go to the bathroom. "Anything else isn't natural."

"Contradiction," Rose said with a bit of a hand raise, her cheeks tinged with a bit of pink. Vriska had by now recognized this as an early warning sign of the beginning of a vicious argument.

"Actually, in nature, same-sex pairings are necessary for the survival of several species," continued Rose, a hand tugging down her shirt that was a bit too small. "Homosexual penguin couples often adopt abandoned eggs and are actually more attentive and endearing to adopted chicks than heterosexual couples."

Joanna stiffened, beginning to get red in the face. "But they can't naturally reproduce," she said matter-of-factly. "It's an abomination."

Rose shrugged and smiled, having already thought of a comeback. "That's very interesting," she said with a smirk. "Are you, by any chance, wearing any type of blended fabric? Have you recently eaten shellfish or gotten a haircut? And if my ears fail to deceive me, is it true that you wed your second husband in the so-called 'Chapel' of Love?"

It took nearly all of Vriska's strength to hold herself back from laughing; however, Joanna looked as if she had already formulated the perfect response. "Well, at least I didn't try to kill my children."

Rose froze. "Exactly what are you talking about?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Well, I have a…credible source that told me you wanted to abort," Joanna smiled smugly. "That's understandable, if you're in a relationship that won't last."

Rose laughed, but it was more of a choke. Everyone was silent. "How can you know anything about my marriage?" she slowly asked, a hand uncomfortably cradling her stomach. A familiar wince told Vriska that the twins were kicking. "After all, aren't you divorced?"

Joanna smiled. "Liking girls is only a phase, my dear," she said, "and one day, you'll grow out of it. It's almost unfortunate you didn't abort. How will that baby know anything about a normal, stable life?"

Rose was trembling, her eyes ready to burst with tears. "I…" she began, desperately struggling for a rebuttal. She coughed, swallowing back tears, but eventually couldn't take it anymore, and began crying silently.

At that particular moment, Kanaya appeared in the doorway. "Rose?" she asked with concern, running over to her wife's side. "Oh, my god, are you alright?"

She bent down next to the chair Rose was sitting in and put a hand on her wife. "Is something wrong? Did your water break? Is it the babies?"

Joanna laughed and the room became silent again. "Well, of course they aren't alright," she grinned. "In-vitro fertilization? That's unnatural."

Kanaya stood up very slowly. At nearly six feet tall, she was intimidating enough, but the fact that she was wearing heels and had winged her eyeliner so sharply it could stab a man made her even more menacing. "What did you say?"

Joanna swallowed, but had gotten too far in the argument to give up. "What are you going to, get angry at me because I'm right?"

"That's hardly the case," said Kanaya with a smirk.

Strangely enough, Vriska wasn't worried about Joanna so much as Casey seeing what could potentially be a fistfight or a bloodbath. "Come on, Peanut, let's go potty," she calmly said, picking up the toddler.

As she walked up the stairs, she heard Sam exclaim something very loudly and was about to walk into the upstairs bathroom when she realized the door was locked. As this was the bathroom Casey's potty chair was in, she didn't really have a choice, and knocked. No answer. "Hello?" she asked softly, knocking again. "Um, Casey needs to use the bathroom, which is up here—"

"Me use big kid potty," said Casey, slightly insulted. Vriska held a finger to her mouth to shush her.

She swallowed. Something wasn't right. "Hello?" she asked again. "Are you—"

A soft groan came from the other side of the door followed by the sound of vomiting. Vriska winced. She wasn't cleaning that up. "Are you okay?"

A female voice cried out weakly, and Vriska immediately realized who was in there. She wasn't sure what she'd find, so she calmly set Casey down and told her to go play with Katrina. The toddler rolled her eyes and began to carefully make her way down the stairs.

Bracing herself, Vriska tested the door to find a weak spot before slamming her shoulder into it.

The arguing downstairs ceased when Vriska cried out for help. Joseph looked around for John—he wasn't there, probably outside to calm himself down—so he politely smiled at everyone before dashing up the stairs, nearly knocking down Casey as he went up. "Wait," he said, stopping, "Casey…?"

If Casey was there, what was wrong? He jumped up the stairs and noticed Vriska crouched down in the bathroom, totally in shock. "Vriska?" he asked. "Is everything okay? What happened? Are—"

A further peek inside the bathroom made his blood run cold.

Roxy was sprawled out on the tacky pink tiles, her underwear around her ankles. There was blood surrounding her, all over her thighs and pooling around her butt, and she was breathing shallowly.

Back downstairs, John had just come back inside when he hears footsteps pounding down the stairs followed by a collective gasp. "Oh my god, Mom," Rose screamed, "what—"

"We need to get to the hospital," Mr. Egbert said in an unusually detached voice. "Where's John?"

"I'm right—" He stopped speaking and stared at his father, who was cradling Roxy in a bundle of what used to be the nice towels. "Oh."

John grabbed his keys and dashed outside to start the car. Rose waddled not too far behind him, keeping close watch on her mother. Joseph carefully set his wife down in the back seat, letting her lean up against him, while Rose got in the passenger seat. "How close is the hospital?" he asked John.

"Urgent care is closer, but—" Rose looked up at the sky, where snow was beginning to fall rather heavily. "Oh my god, John, just drive!"

John sped out of his driveway, nearly rear-ending another car, and shot down the street at a very illegal speed. The snow continued to fall, and Roxy began to cry, but he continued to drive to the hospital where Casey was born. It was only when he pulled up beside the emergency room entrance that his mind registered the fact that there were two police cars trailing him.

Since John was the one driving, Rose escorted her mother and stepfather inside and calmly told the front desk that her forty-five year old mother was ten weeks pregnant and was heavily bleeding. Roxy, who was bearing all her weight against Joseph, cried out as a fresh stream of blood ran down her legs and nearly caused her to collapse. Two nurses immediately sat her down in a wheelchair and began to rush her to obstetrics and gynecology, and for the first time since seeing his wife bleeding on the floor, Joseph sobbed.

"Mr. Egbert," said Rose quietly, "I…um."

John burst through the door, shaking. "I told the police what is happening and they let me off without a ticket," he gasped. "Dad, it's going to be okay!"

Joseph stopped crying and stopped, his eyes bloodshot, blood stains dotting his signature shirt. "Oh god," he breathed, realizing Roxy wasn't there, "where did they take her?!"

"Probably maternity," John told his dad, putting a hand on his shoulder. "At least, that's where they took Vriska when she…"

He stopped himself, but his dad was very unhappy at the implication. "What floor?" he mumbled, wiping his eyes.

"Fourth." Rose took up the hand of her stepfather and began rubbing it soothingly. "Joseph, it's going to be okay."

Joseph went into the elevator with Rose and John behind him in total silence. The ride up was silent as well, but when the door opened Rose wanted to scream. Right in front of the elevator doors was a nursery, newborn babies swaddled in blue and pink blankets sleeping or staring up at the ceiling, and for a moment the three stared at the babies, reminiscing over a potentially lost future.

Her eyes welling, Rose went to the front desk. "Um, my mom," she said, trying not to cry, "blonde, she just got in, a lot of blood, um…"

"Room 402," said the secretary. "She just got in. For now, though, I think it would be best if just your father came in with her."

Joseph swallowed, not even bothering to correct the secretary, and grimly walked down the hallway, leaving Rose and John together. They had nothing to do but stare at the pastel-colored walls and listen to the cries of new human life.


pls excuse the probably really bad french i tried to avoid using a translator and instead relied on my very limited knowledge