Kathy left and Elliot felt a combination of sadness, relief and isolation. He wished Olivia was there. He wished he could be there for her interview with IAB. He prayed it went well and they didn't push her towards another edge. He understood a man was dead, and they had to conduct an investigation, but hadn't she suffered enough? And he pulled the trigger. They needed to leave her the bell alone, and focus on him. He shuddered internally. They would get to him. They would, and they would twist things however they wanted no matter what he said. Still, if the situation played out the same way, he would make all the same decisions.

He felt him drifting off. The nurse had stopped in to administer more pain meds, and they always made him feel foggy. It was easier to sleep. He was vaguely aware of a door opening and shutting, and the shuffle of footsteps, but he knew it wasn't Olivia, and he wasn't really interested in interacting with anyone else.

-000-

Amanda headed back to Elliot's room instead of trying to track down Olivia. Amaro texted her on her way back to the hospital, letting her know Liv had to meet with IAB. Amanda wished she could have made it back sooner to let Liv have the things she brought. Amanda thought she would feel more confident or more like herself with her own things. She was too late though, and she hoped that IAB would go easy…for once.

Since she knew Liv was with IAB she figured she'd sit with Elliot. He was doing as well as they could ever hope, so the nurses were being a little more lax about visitors, as long as they kept to one person at a time. She kept her steps quiet as she moved down the near silent hallway, but she yelped when she almost literally bumped into Kathleen.

"Oh!" Kathleen's hands reached for Amanda, keeping her from toppling.

"Sorry I wasn't paying attention," Amanda apologized.

"No problem. I think we are all a little stuck in our own heads at the moment." Kathleen took a step back now that Amanda was steady on her feet.

"Isn't that the truth," Amanda muttered.

"Headed to see Dad?"

Amanda shifted the backpack so Kathleen could see it, "Yeah, I stopped by Liv's place to grab a few things for her."

"Yeah she's with IAB right now." She saw Kathleen shudder. Amanda knew Elliot had his fair share of run ins with IAB in the past, his family was probably well aware of his (and most cops' feelings) about internal investigations.

"Yeah, I heard. I figured I stop by anyway. Drop some stuff off, and stay with him until Liv gets back," Amanda shrugged. "I know she wouldn't want him alone for even a minute."

Kathleen's eyes crinkled with a smile. "She really does love him, doesn't she? I mean I know she does. I think I've kinda known it all along, but it's weird to see them so open about it. Well…" she rolled her eyes. "As open as those two can be."

"She does," Amanda affirmed. "There's just so much…baggage…I guess. But I think it will all work itself out." Amanda didn't even know herself right now. Who was this optimist? Maybe she thought that for once, the universe owed Olivia something good.

"Me too," Kathleen agreed. Her blue eyes glanced back towards the hospital room she just exited. "My mom is in there right now…"

Amanda's stomach clenched, and her face must have betrayed her worry because Kathleen hurried to reassure her. "No no, I think it's a good thing this time." She shrugged. "Mom and I are finally talking again…we'll kinda. I think it will be a while until things will be…better." Her eyes dropped to the floor. "I kinda prioritized my dad's feelings over hers, and she still feels kinda betrayed."

Amanda reached an arm out for Kathleen, "Oh baby girl, you did the absolute right thing. Olivia needed him. She did, and all of this," referring to the latest Lewis fiasco. "I don't think she would have survived without him." Amanda looked the girl right in they eyes, "You did the right thing. Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise."

"Well. I mean, I know it was right, and if I had the choice to do it again I would do the same thing, but it did hurt my mom a lot. It was like I was choosing Olivia over her, and as you can imagine, that's a sensitive point for her."

"I can imagine," Amanda agreed. "But think about your dad too. I don't think he will ever really forgive himself for what happened to her the first time, and if he let her struggle through the trial alone, and then this?" Amanda shook her head, "He would have been damn near suicidal, and you know it."

"That's why I called. I just…I know him, you know. And I know things between the three of them are complicated in a way I will never understand, but I couldn't let him stay in the dark, and I couldn't let Olivia go through all of this without him," she shrugged, "without her best friend."

Amanda impulsively hugged her. "You have the best heart. I hope you know that."

Kathleen pulled back, looking a little embarassed. "Thanks." She looked back at the hospital room again, "I think Mom is finally to let things go. She tired of fighting, and i think she is starting to realize that they all could be happier if she let go." Kathleen wrapped her arms around herself. "And then this…he's had close calls before, but this…this was different. I think it scared her into reality. She realized that it was possible to love him and let him go. It was possible to keep our family together in a different way than what she might think traditional. I don't know. I think she deep down knew at some point this is how things would play out, and she's tired of fighting it all."

Amanda nodded. "That's good. I bet it's hard, but I have watched your dad with Liv. Hell. I practically live there," Amanda chuckled. "They love each other so damn much. And not in a superficial way." This time Amanda looked over to the hospital room door, "In the deepest way possible, in a take a bullet for that person kind of way. That." Amanda shook her head, "that is something you don't see often. And it's something worth sacrificing for…"

"Yeah." Kathleen agreed solemnly.

Both their heads whipped towards the door as it opened and Kathy stepped out. She wiped at some tears before she lifted her eyes to the women standing in the hall.

Amanda watched Kathleen's eyes fill will a look of empathetic sadness for her mother. "Ready to go mom?" She asked softly.

Kathy nodded. "Yeah," she sounded sad, but resolute. "I'm finally ready," and Amanda suspected she meant that in multiple ways. She was ready to leave, but finally…she was ready to let go.

She gave Amanda a nod, and linked arms with her daughter. Amanda watched them go before quietly stepping into Elliot's room.

Kathy only left minutes before, but he was already passed out. Amanda dropped Olivia's backpack onto the rolling table, and sat in the chair nearest the hospital bed. She pulled out her phone, thinking she'd check in on how things were going with IAB.

Amanda—-Fin & Nick Group Chat

A: How's it goin with IAB

F: As well as it always does…

N: I don't think it's going that bad.

F: Based on the fact Tucker is doin the interview, I'd say it's sucking.

N: True. But we can't really hear anything.

F: Liv waived the union rep.

A: Ugh why?

F: Truth will set you free…or some shit like that.

A: She needs a lawyer.

N: Why? She didn't take the shot. Stabler probably needs a lawyer though.

F: SOB deserved it so I'm not sure why anyone called the rat squad..

F: Tuckers had it in for the Benson/Stabler duo for years. She needs a lawyer.

A: Let's see who we can find, and get them there ASAP. The last thing she needs is IAB screwing her.

N: Agreed.

-000-

Tucker. Didn't IAB have anyone else to conduct these interviews? Or was it Tucker's personal mission to make sure all SVU detectives rotted in hell. Whatever. She wouldn't play ball. None of this was anyone's fault but the deadman's himself. Good riddance.

"Were you ordered to pursue, or did your CO order you to stand down?" Tucker's icy blue eyes were always a little unnerving.

She worked to keep her voice even, and truthful. "It became an emergency situation. I didn't have time to check in. Based on the information Lewis provided, I felt bringing in a team would risk the life of Amelia. I knew they wouldn't be far behind, but I had to go alone." Reliving this, relaying every excruciating detail, created a crushing sensation in her chest.

Turned out, the IAB agent sitting with Tucker was just as infuriating as his partner. "We have to consider the possibility that the plan to go rogue was hatched between you and Detective Stabler. A man's dead, and if you weren't following direct orders, someone has to be held accountable for that death."

Liv was internally screaming. She felt way too exhausted for this. She faked her calm and composed exterior before answering. "Look. Stabler didn't know about the text either." As much as she wanted to yell the words, she managed to keep her voice even and calm. "He was as much in the dark as anyone else. I made the decision on my own."

"What's your relationship with Detective Stabler?" Tucker kept his eyes down and she knew it was because of the question he just asked.

"That isn't relevant to the investigation." She stonewalled.

"We get to decide that."

"No you don't." She was losing what little patience she had. "A psychopath magically escaped custody. Killed people. Raped people. Hell! He outright kidnapped a child!" She stood and slammed her palms onto the table. "And you want to know what my relationship is to a detective who isn't working in the same department as I am!? This is bullshit!" She leaned in towards Tucker when she said the words. She maintained eye contact, not willing to demur.

To his credit, Tucker didn't play into her outburst. "Sit down Benson. No one is accusing you of anything."

She forced herself to breathe and calm down. Even if this was bullshit, she needed to calmly play the game. If she refused, both she and Elliot could lose their badges. She forced herself to sit.

Tucker's ass of a partner piped in, "We need to know the nature of your relationship." He leaned in, "We need to know if he would kill for you."

Of course he would kill for her. Romantic relationship or not, everyone knew Elliot would kill for her. But that's not what happened. Not exactly. Her head began to throb. "That's not…" she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look," she dropped her hand and lifted her eyes to the two men. "Stabler was my partner for a long time. He's had my back since we partnered 15 years ago. The relationship status doesn't matter. Elliot was there because he knows me better than anyone. Good partners can anticipate the others actions. He knew what I would do. There wasn't some master plan we created. We just acted."

She watched Tucker write down some notes, and tap his pen against the notebook. "Ballistics says the bullet retrieved from Stabler was from your gun."

"And? I already told you, he took my gun and vest. It's not like I shot Stabler myself." This was bordering on ridiculous.

"Okay okay. Let's regroup. I think we've gotten off track." Tucker raised his hands defensively at her biting tone.

No shit.

"Back to leaving on your own."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. This questioning was going in circles, and she was ready to go back and sit with Elliot.

Just then the door flew open, and Amaro rushed in. His eyes immediately flew to where Olivia sat. Tucker stood, probably to remove him from the interview room, but before he could Amaro spit out his message.

"Stabler's back in surgery."

She felt her world spinning.