Co-written by Wolvenstrom

''Last time on Total Lady drama island, We saw many gorgeous ladies coming by and getting soundtracks to give you a little of their personality traits, some of them are happy, kind, shy, or just a big mean girl but that is just the start right? What Drama and secrets will this show reveal? Get some popcorn and go to the bathroom first because here we got the first challenge of TOTAL LADY DRAMA ISLAND'' Chris said out loud

The show then opens up to Chris. "Last time we introduced 12 female campers and decided to split them into two teams and pit them against each other in the hopes that one of them will win One million dollars. Now let's see who will break or crumble under the pressure of the challenges. Here on Total Lady Drama Island." The Host said.


Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing' fine,

You guys are on my mind.

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think the answer is plain to see,

I want to be famous.

I wanna live close to the sun,

Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day.

Cause, I wanna be famous!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.


"Welcome back to Total Lady Drama Island" said Chris to the camera.

"As you know we have taken 12 female contestants and brought them to a shitty summer camp on an island. All for the sake of winning One million dollars that let's face it, it would probably be gone in a week." Chris explained to the viewers.

"So if they can survive the animals, the bugs, the forest and each other they will have a chance to earn that money and a short time at fame" said Chris.

"But will get to that later. Let's check on our campers who are currently in the mess hall" said Chris.

The scene then cuts over to the mess hall where we see the Sweet cupcakes at the table close to the kitchen and the Bad bitches who are seated towards the door.

"Here is how it is going to work. I serve it three times a day and you will eat it three times a day. So get your tray to come to get your food and sit your butts down now!" explained Chef to the two teams of girls.

We then see Lindsay and Gwen walk up to Chef with trays and plates. Chef then scoops grey muck out of the pot and puts it on their plates.

"Um, what's in this food? My nutritionist says that I should stay away from flower sugars and dairy." asked and told the Chef.

Chef just stared blankly at both of them and caught and crushed a fly that was near him.

"I don't think that is going to be a problem" said Gwen.

"Cool." answered back Lindsay.

"Okay I know it is too soon to complain about the food, but I think mine just moved" said Gwen in her monotone way of speaking.

Chef then took out a tenderizing mallet and smashed her food down without changing expressions.

"Okay then," said Gwen, freaked out by what Chef did.

"Dear god. I never thought I would see food like this" Emma said looking at her awful food.

"This sure will have not enough calories that are actually good" Katie said.

The food then springs up and jumps off the table and runs to a hole in the wall and slips in not before turning around hissing at both teams.

''Well that just made me lose all my appetite'' Leshawna said, moving her food away from her.

Chris then walks in their suffering.

''Hey there campers, I hope you are all ready, because I want you all to meet me on the island mountain. It's going to be really interesting if you know what I mean hahaha'' Chris laughed.

''I just hope it's not dangerous'' Zoey said.

''Whatever I can take anything, how hard can it be?'' Anne Maria said confidently.

''Can't be worse than this food'' Cody said.

''Oh I can't believe we are on a different team's sister'' Kitty said to her sister.

''You have to be strong Kitty, eyes on the prize! These stupid teams won't matter once were the last two in the finals...though I'd love to tear a strip out of McLean for that stupid name" Emma said still angry at the name Bad bitches

When they get there after some hard walking they see Chris sitting in a lounge chair drinking a fruity drink. Cody then looks over the edge and sees a large pool of green jelly that floats on the lake like a bouncy castle. In fact, it was a very big bouncy castle Filled to the fullest with the jelly floating there.

''Wow, what is that?'' He asks.

"Welcome to your first challenge. The concept is simple: you have to jump off this cliff into a giant amount of orange jello. Inside of the jelly is two keys. These are the keys to the cabins and you need them to unlock them or you will sleep outside tonight.

''Wow! Are you serious? This cliff is like so high'' Katie said scared.

''Hashtag going to jump off a cliff'' Kitty said.

''Oh C'mon guys at least is not a lake full of sharks'' Bridgette said normal and chill.

''Man where did you have a huge floating pool of Orange jelly?'' Cody asked, surprised.

"Now then. I'm well aware that not everyone is eager to jump off a cliff into a pool floating in shark-infested Waters..."

Leshawna cut him off "Hold up. Shark-infested? You 'must' be crazy because we are not in those kinds of waters"

Chris chuckled, the girls had a strong idea they were going to hear him do that often and didn't like it "Freshwater sharks my dear. Rare and expensive to import yes, but what fun would a water challenge be if it didn't have sharks. Reality-TV 101. Now as I was saying. Since not everyone will want to make the jump, don't worry, it's not like we can force you or anything."

They almost collectively sighed in relief.

"However for those of you who won't jump that's a point you won't be getting for your team. If enough girls in your team don't jump. Then you lose the challenge, and it's your butts up for elimination. Which means one of you will have the absolute honor of being the first one kicked off the show, achieving the same level of fame as all those other contestants who got voted of first. Like who's his face, that girl with the hair, and who could forget that guy who thought he'd win but then he didn't."

Chef held up a box "also you have to wear a chicken suit if you chicken out."

''Are you kidding? This is humiliating'' Heather said.

''The Challenge is to get the key but hey! If you girls get enough points for your team, you will get the reward of getting real food tonight'' Chris said, trying to make them more eager to jump at the jelly pool.

'Wow really? Real food?'' Zoey said happily.

''Doesn't sound so bad now does it?'' Chris said.

''We must do this and win the real good food'' Leshawna said.

"Alright, then ladies..." Cody had to choke down the urge to punch the host for the way he said that. Was he trying to get him caught? "...who's first?" The host said.

'Should I go first? Getting it over quickly while everyone else is focused on jumping might be good. Mm, but if I go the last everyone will be too busy wiping the jell of their...focus. Everyone will be too busy cleaning themselves to pay attention if I need to adjust anything that gets knocked loose in the jelly' Cody thought.

Too bad for Cody that he was so focused on whether to jump first last or in between that someone decided to take that choice from him.

Without even a moment of hesitation. Bridgette was on the edge of the cliff, stripped down to swimwear she'd apparently been so eager to get used out of that she'd worn it beneath her regular clothes and was off the cliff in seconds. Gracefully swam diving into the orange vat where she landed with a *PHLFT!*

'' Huh...Well, that is one to go, right? Who else wants to dive in? Better hurry if you want or not'' Chris said.

''Ugh I don't want orange goopy jell on my Hair'' Anne Maria said.

''Don't play around girl, what was all that i is going to win?'' Emma said not amused by something dump as not wanting to mess your hair.

Katie gulped as she looked down the drop towards the pool below. If only Sadie were here, they'd be each other's rock and jump in a second.

"Well?" Said Heather "what are you waiting for? We've got a contest to win! So get jumping."

''Don't push me ok?'' Katie said

Pausing, Heather turned away from her team to see that stupid blonde Lindsay ready to jump.

"I read in a magazine that jelly's good for your pouuuuuuurrrrrrsssss" The beauty said in mid-jump.

Chris's smile remains frozen in place as ever "and that's two for the cupcakes. Now, will any of the bad bitches be jumping? Or will I have to re-name you the chickens?"

That was enough for Courtney "Ok that is it. Move over queen bee! You don't get to be a CIT if you're not willing to risk a little orange jell!" She growls before pushing Heather to one side. Taking a flying leap over the cliff face into the pool below.

Chris looked impressed "Wow. Balls. Didn't think any of you had any of those."

Cody did not miss the look the host sent him as he sent that.

''Ohhh I don't think I have enough courage for this'' Katie still said scared.

''Then don't, it will be easy to just win then'' Emma Said jumping too into the orange jell pool like a pro.

''Hey two for the Bitches hee-haw, C'mon keep going, who knows, you may find the key but if you don't have the BALLS to it it's fine'' Chris said laughing.

'This man sure is trying to get me busted' Cody thought.

The queen bee checked over her nails like ragged cuticles were more interesting than the imposing girl in front of her "I do believe it's your turn to miss large and not so in charge."

That line had worked so well for her in the past in school, even against girls who were actually thinner than herself. It didn't matter how fat or thin they were, insult their weight and those fragile little flowers broke under her words.

However, Leshawna was not what anyone would call a fragile little flower. "Excuse me, I miss things? They're called curves"

Heather rolled her eyes "Really? I call it cellulite."

''Oh Snap!'' Chef Said.

Leshawna has had enough. "Alright then, tell me why I'm jumping before you." Leshawna smirk.

"Um obviously because the splash all that ham is carrying in your backside will force everyone else and a ton of the jelly out. Making it easy to grab the HEY!"

Without even another word, Leshawna grabbed the girl by the arm, dragged her over to the cliff face, and with one mighty heave...got tripped up by the girl on step shy and went plunging over the side. Letting go of her as she did so and falling straight into the pudding with a disappointing *SPLAT*

Heather rubbed her wrist as she looked at the site below disappointed "Hmmph. Not nearly as big a splash as I expected. Alright. Next one over the...cliff?"

It took her a second to realize Anne Marie had pushed her off.

The jersey Esque girl quipped "I am 'not' getting jelly in my hair."

''Where did all that determination about winning? Ugh! Whatever let me do this'' Gwen said as she got ready to jump and jump with no fear.

Cody thinks 'Ok you can do this. It's just a little jump...and a huge drop into a pool full of super-hot girls is covered in cold slippery jelly...who'll tear you apart if they find out you are a guy...I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can't do this, I can't do this I...'

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, Chris spoke up.

"Hey this is the last moment to jump, So anyone who still wants to jump you have like...Ten Seconds hehehe GO!''

''WOW! We have no time, let's go and sorry for that,'' Kitty said, grabbing Cody by the wrist. Cody was so stunned by a cute girl grabbing him that he didn't even try to stop her before she pulled him up to the edge and had them jumping off the cliff with both of them screaming and falling into the orange jelly.

"Don't you love the sound of a jelly splash in the morning? Zoey, Katie, and Anne Maria, there are only you three now so it's better if you decide" Chris spoke.

Anne Marie crossed her arms "I meant what I said. I am not getting that goop in this." She said pointing to her more spray than hair.

Katie gulped, lowering herself to her knees, breathing loudly as she clung to the side of the cliff hard enough that they could swear they could hear the rock start to crack beneath her fingers. "Uh. No way".

Zoey crouched down beside Katie. Patting the poor girl's back gently "It's ok. You don't have to jump if you're scared."

Katie bit her lip "I wouldn't be if, if...if Sadie was here."

Zoey smiled "Your BF?"

Katie nodded "Sadie's my rock. If she was here then we could do this together and...And...SADIE!"

She flung herself into the redhead and sobbed into her chest. The realization that her best friend really wasn't here catching up to her.

''Geez, it's the first day and we have a chicken already crying? Pathetic'' Chef said.

Zoey really couldn't get up, as her teammate refused to budge. Forcing her to stay where she was as she comforted her.

While those three waited out the seconds until their disqualification. Cody was trying to wait out the seconds until he could move freely without doing something he would deeply regret...again.


He gulped loudly as he found himself unable and unwilling to close his eyes less he missed even a second of bouncing booty or citrus covered cleavage. All around him the girls were swimming like women possessed. Possessed by the desire not to sleep on logs or eat something more likely to eat you, but still possessed. A few ducking and diving and paddling through the goo as though it were any other liquid, but more than a few choosing the less graceful method and decided to try and literally beat each other to the key. Dragging each other back, pushing others to the side, he thought he could actually see some hair pulling through the jelly.

"AGH! YOU SKINNY BITCH!" screamed Leshawna.

Yup. Definitely hair pulling. Sweet cupcakes might not be an entirely accurate team name

He swam slowly; keeping his eyes peeled for the huge boo...the key. Look for the key and only the key. Do not think about how you're surrounded on all sides by babes in...

Emma shot up from beneath him up towards the surface. Her chest catching the tip of his nose as she moved past him. He did not expect her at all.

'Well' Cody's eyes went out of focus for a moment as his brain rebooted 'That's burned into my brain for the rest of my life'

It was then that he caught a faint glint. Turning his head to the right he caught something sparkling in the pudding.

''The key! '' He said.

He wasn't the fastest swimmer, but he had the chance. He moved towards the prize quickly but made at least an effort to look like he was still searching.

His effort turned out to be for nothing as he saw the heather catch site of the key a moment later. Eyes locked on target she darted towards the guarantee of beds and shelter with all the speed of a shark through jelly.

Which is to say not very quickly at all?

They scrambled towards the tiny key with the grace of a walrus. Orange semi-solids squelched between their fingers as they pulled themselves forward.

"That *ptoo* key is *ptoo* mine!" Heather growled out between spitting out mouthfuls of disgusting citrus goo.

"Not *gulp* on my *Gulp* watch!" Cody shot back between gulping down delicious fruit flavoring.

It wasn't enough though. Heather's legs were longer than his (he'd looked at them long enough to know) she'd get it first unless he did something drastic.

So he steeled himself, took a deep breath, and right before Heather could reach the prize...he dove at her. Jerking her out of the way and snatching the key mid-dive, and pushing her to the floor of the bottom of the pool.

"HA *gulp* YES!" He cheered "I got it I..."

A slim, pale hand grabbed his wrist.

"Ptoe! GIVE ME THAT!"

'...Am sitting on top of a very angry girl' Dread climbed up his spine as suddenly his every instinct was telling him to escape. He wrenched his arm free and bolted as fast as the jelly would allow. Heather swiped for his foot, but couldn't quite reach before Cody broke the surface. Holding the key for everyone to see.

"I GOT IT! I GOT THE KEY!" He yelled

A siren went off. And Chris's voice came booming out of a nearby speaker system.

"And that's the end of the challenge." He said "Would you ladies kindly use the tagline attached to the pool to pull yourselves ashore. Do 'not' swim to the shore. There are sharks and other reasons I will go into later for you not to do so.

Girls grumbled but complied and started tugging themselves forward.

"Nice going with the key Cora. Can't believe I never spotted it myself." Bridgette complimented Cody.

"It was nothing. You 'were' swimming through that pretty fast. You probably would have if you'd have slowed down." Replied Cody.

"Ha. Yeah. Probs." Bridgette agreed just as they pulled themselves to shore. Stepping onto the beach and allowing the sand to stick to their sticky skin.

Chris clapped his head in congratulations as the group of fruit flavoring covered women pulled them onto the beach "And with the capturing of the key. The cabin and one of the few comforts we afford our contestants go to...the sweet cupcake!"

The entire team cheers in victory, while the rival team bitterly tries wiping off the gunk they covered in.

Cora grins and fights to keep his smile as innocent as possible as he's congratulated by the girls. Bridgette smacking his back in thanks, while Kitty gives her a hashtag nice job. He thanks them and tries brushing it off as 'no big deal', not noticing an incoming hug from an overly friendly blonde until he was pulled face-first into the depths of her vast chest.

Lindsay cheered as she hopped on the point of her feet. Moving from side to side as she did so and unknowingly motorboating her teammate's face all over her tits covered in jello"EEEEE! We don't have to sleep outside like wood people! You're like, the best teammate ever! You're going to totally be my new best out of all my new besties!"

Whatever Cody said in response would have been utter gibberish even if he wasn't being suffocated by a valley of half bare cleavage that smells like delicious orange dessert as he mentally blue screened. Part of him never wanted this to end, but the other part of him, the part that liked breathing was trying to find somewhere he could latch onto that wasn't Lindsay so he could push away from the busty blonde and fill his lungs with air

Chris continued "On the other hand. Since two of the cupcakes were too sweet to jump vs only one of our bad girls. The ones who will be dining on the finest nonmilitary grade cuisine tonight will be the...bbbaaaddd biitccheeeesss!"

The sudden realization that they still had to eat the same slope as before caused the Cupcakes celebration to die down and Lindsay to let 'Cora' free of 'her' wonderful prison. He collapsed to the ground, taking a big lungful of air, but with a wide smile on his face that a hammer and chisel couldn't remove.

Now it was the other team's turn to start congratulating themselves. Their reactions range from relieved to smug and just outright thankful. The only one who still wasn't even the least bit happy was Courtney.

The CIT just grimaced "We would have won both if you had actually given a hundred percent and gotten that key already!" She said glaring at Heather.

The taller girl glared back with a smirk "Oh I'm sorry. I guess I should have spotted it in an instant, what with being the second one into the vat and having a good five-minute head start on Cora. Oh, wait. Hee hee silly me. My mistake. That was you. Who I believe was too busy increasing show viewership by wrestling topside in this gunk to do the very thing you're blaming me for."

"I was 'not' wrestling!" Courtney growled out.

Heather looked away and flipped her hair, hitting Courtney's face with jelly. "The after-show will be the judge of that."

''Hey! 'Son of whore' Courtney thought.

''Now the day is not over girls. How about you all go to the camp and get your rewards? It will be a piece of cake hehehehe'' Chris said with an evil laugh, not so loud but high enough for him.

''AND! Don't forget the losers will use chicken suits. Hahaha, suck it'' Chef laughed.

Katie looked depressed to be wearing the outfit. Zoey just patted her on the back with her own suit wing.

Anne Marie, on the other hand, had a look on her face that clearly said "I'm not happy about this, but don't regret it."

''This was some challenge, right? Now we should go back to our cabin'' Bridgette said.

''Yeah but I am not happy to still have to eat the slob food'' Bridgette said not happy.

''Well I for once am glad I will eat normal food'' Emma said.

The two teams start by walking towards the direction of that camp. But they don't even know the challenge up ahead is waiting for them.

"I can't believe you refuse to jump. You better hope you don't get eliminated for being so useless in this challenge" Heather was nagging at Anne Maria

Anne Marie shot back "Hey we still won didn't we?"

''Not thanks to you'' Emma said

''I'm so sorry for letting you guys down, I was just so scared. I never jumped off a cliff before'' Katie was saying sorry to her team.

''It's fine, I was on impulse after all,'' Kitty told her.

Meanwhile, the girls were either blaming each other for the challenge or saying sorry for not trying their best at their teammates, They stop walking after some weird looking Squirrels start appearing in their path.

''Awn Look how cute they are'' Lindsay said looking at the adorable little fella.

''I don't think approaching a wild animal you never saw is a good idea, even if it is small and cute'' Bridgette said.

One of the Squirrels then smells the delicious orange jelly smell on the girls and runs towards Leshawna. He jumps behind her and gets inside her pants, and then he races along her ass cheeks making her laugh because it tickles

''HAHAHA! T-take it out'' Leshawna said.

Heather laughed "I doubt you'll catch that thing with how much room it has to move."

Leshawna Angry trying to ignore the squirrel replies back "Uh-huh. Then why haven't you caught the rodent crawling over those fried eggs you call a rack?"

Before Heather could see, there was another Squirrel doing the same to her Butt and she was running around screaming but not before counting again too, she never lets that down.

Heather counters "All you ever did was make your bathroom scales hate you."

Chris rubs his chin "Mmm maybe putting all the abrasive girls on the same team was a bad idea...for them. "For me, this makes great TV"

The host laughed again at the site on screen he watched from safety "Honduran fruit squirrels. Super rare but totally worth it"

''Why would you bring in fruit squirrels?'' An intern asked.

Chris gives the intern who asked that question a flat look "We made up the cast exclusively out of pretty girls, and had them dive slash wrestle in a metric ton of jelly. Who the heck do you think our target audience is? Your grandma?"

Before the audience could see almost all the girls start getting attacked by the Squirrels.

One managed to get itself in Emma's hair. The stickiness of the fibers causes the fruit-loving rodent to get tangled up and start struggling against it's expertly cared for and fruit-flavored bonds.

Not wanting to beat up a squirrel. Gwen's hands shot out like a bullet from a gun and grabbed one thing racing down her thigh. "Wait. What's going to stop you from jumping me again if I toss you away?"

She could have sworn the look on the thing's face was a very human 'absolutely nothing, bitch'.

"Quick New Bff I need you to lick my belly! Is where it got more jelly" Lindsay said.

Cody gulped "What? But I…' Dear god, why did you put me in this situation?'...a-actually Lindsay why don't we just jump in the lake? It'll wash it off, ha-ha I know there are no sharks there" Cody said even though licking that blonde girl's belly covered in jelly would be awesome.

After Lindsay said a good idea to her friend and got to it. Heather was fighting against the stupid slippery squirrel meanwhile Leshawna climbs the tree as fast as a chipmunk up along a thin branch without even realizing.

" you are all useless" Anne maria uses her hair spray on heather making both her and the animal cough and now the queen bee was free from the animal running away. ''Also Squirrels can climb trees you dummy'' She said to Leshawna

"*cough* what the shit is this?'' Heather said.

After a time the branch where Leshawna falls and she falls with her huge ass right on the queen bee stomach. Heather rolls to the side as Leshawna clambers off of her, gasping out "Ups! Well better a broken rib than a broken face."

Heather gasps for air, she can't even say something for the lack of it and that she didn't even see it coming but once she could she would.

Chris and Chef let out a big laugh once they saw some hard work trying to get away from the squirrels. All the teams got to the camp where their cabins were and also Chris was waiting for them.

''Hey, there campers. Glad you all are here, did you get some weird encounter?'' Chris said giggling

''I almost got totally wrecked by squirrels'' Cody said, scared of almost getting his disguise ruined.

''That was some sick selfie I took'' Kitty said happily.

''I hate you Leshawna!'' Heather said again.

''Whatever, many boys would like to be in your place'' Leshawna counters.

''Now I know you are all tired so let me tell you all this. There are the cabins and two community bathrooms, one where is the confessional where you make a confession and the other where it's a camera free area for you girls to...have in private things that you can't show, like that thing a woman has per month'' Chris said trying not to talk about it but Cody know it was time for him to make a tease.

''You mean a period?'' Cody said giggling.

''Eww! DU...GIRL! Don't say that. Oh my god!'' Chris said grossed out meanwhile the girls laugh at how embarrassed he looks now. But he still stared daggers at Cody.

''Wait community? But I am not a communist'' Lindsay said silly as ever.

''It's not that meaning. It means everyone uses the same bathroom Lindsay'' Zoey said and after the information sinks in Lindsay says a loud NOOOOOO!

''Well, this is it for today people, who will be the first eliminated? Will the next one be an elimination episode? Will Chef make more jelly for us? Meh not really that is a one-time-only thing. If you want to give these girls a challenge you can always count on me to read them all hehe, get ready for more later on TOTAL LADY DRAMA ISLAND.

''I miss you SADIE'' Katie screamed.

''SHUT UP!'' Chef screams out of the camera sight.