To all my readers: A thousand times thank you. I know time is a precious thing, and it humbles me that you have chosen to devote some of it to reading my fanfic.
When I first started this story, I had a general idea of what I wanted to do, but the plot changed and evolved as I went along. I wrote and rewrote parts of it so many times, I have more discarded scenes than I dare to count. There were days when I was happy with what I had written. Then there were days when I felt like it was falling short. Some chapters I looked forward to posting. Other chapters I was super nervous about. All this to say that your continued interest and kind words have meant the world to me. Not only that, but they've provided the motivation I need to write every day. Sometimes, I can write several pages back to back. Other times, doubt gnaws at me and I manage no more than a few paragraphs. But I've kept at it, and I will keep at it, not only for my own enjoyment, but for you guys.
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CHAPTER LIII
LYING HERE WITH YOU
The moon was young this night. Framed by branches and leaves, it shone as a pale sliver of light against the inky sky. Because there were no dwellings or lamps at this height, the hidden talan was bathed in secluding shadow. It was quiet. Restful. Precisely as Annalyn had hoped it would be.
Roughly an hour had passed since she and Haldir had climbed up here. Lying between thick furs, their clothed bodies nestled close together, they gazed at the heavens with heavy-lidded eyes. Their weapons lay nearby, and the ladder they had used to ascend the mallorn remained coiled by the opening in the platform, making it seem as though they were truly alone on top of the world.
To be sure, this day had been a whirlwind of emotions—from their heart-wrenching debate on the mound of Cerin Amroth, to the choice they had both made. Annalyn desired a life with him. And Haldir desired a life with her. A natural conclusion, it seemed. And yet, the ease with which she had made her decision startled her, too.
Perhaps they truly were meant to be.
"Tonight, at the feast," Haldir began after a long silence, his murmured words rumbling through his chest. "You were thinking of them." A kiss to her brow and he clarified, "Your kin."
Amazed by his ability to divine her innermost thoughts, Annalyn tilted her head to catch his eyes. "How did you know?"
He regarded her with gentle solemnity. "I saw it on your face. You miss them."
A sad smile curving her lips, she confirmed his observation by saying, "This evening was so very special. I cannot recall the last time I felt such joy." Her gaze fell a little. "I wished they could have been there with me."
As cherished memories unfurled in her mind, Haldir pulled her close. Presently, his arm cradled her back, his strong shoulder acting as her pillow. His heartbeat could be felt beneath her palm, the rhythm as peaceful as the rise and fall of his chest.
Thanks to their shared cocoon of heat, warmth suffused her body, even her feet—for the two had shed their boots prior to lying down. With her toes brushing against his shin, Annalyn pulled the furs a little higher, and drifted in contented relaxation until he spoke once more.
"I am sorry."
Her brows tightened in a puzzled frown.
Before she could ask him what he meant by that, Haldir said, "Would that I had been able to save them. Would that I had known what lay ahead when first you wandered into these woods."
The self-recrimination in his words took her aback. Her mouth hanging open, Annalyn seized his hand, and said, "I will forever grieve for my kin, and I curse the Orcs who took them from me. But the blame lies not with you. I do not regret the day we made camp in these woods. I do not regret the day I met you."
In lieu of replying, Haldir merely tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She pushed on.
"You once told me that I should cease blaming myself for straying from them the night those riders gave chase to us. Now I say the same to you. You did all you could. Not only did you save my skin out there, but you gave me the most precious gift I could ever hope for."
His features softened. "And what gift would that be?"
"The gift of your company. Your trust. Of knowing that there is kindness and honour left in this world. Because of you, I was not alone out there. And because of you, my people now know of the threat that lies beyond their borders. So while you weren't able to save my uncle or cousin, you saved my life, and certainly some of my people as well." Now she pressed a heartfelt kiss to the corner of his mouth. "This burden is not yours to bear. I will not allow it. Do not reproach yourself, Haldir of Lórien."
Whether he took comfort in her words, she could not say. Hoping to shift his focus, Annalyn angled her body until they were both lying face to face. The furs that cushioned her cheek were warm and soft, the air redolent with a heady combination of spices, cedar, and cloves—Haldir's scent.
Interlacing his fingers with hers, Haldir studied their hands for a moment. "Your cousin was quite protective of you." He kept staring at their hands. "I remember how he asked for a private word on that first night. I must say, his courage surprised me."
Annalyn's mouth quirked in sudden fondness. "What did he do?"
"Let's just say that he made it quite clear that he would guard you both with his life. He told me that he would honour this forest and follow my instructions, but if harm were to come to you…"
They both chuckled.
She said, "That was Aldin alright."
A moment went by, and then, "Your uncle was a kind man."
Her smile turned wistful. "That he was."
"I cannot help but wonder what they would have made of this? Of us being together."
She had sometimes wondered the same thing. "Had they had the chance to get to know you—truly know you, like I do—they would have given us their blessing. Of that I am certain."
His eyes narrowed in question. "That easily?"
Annalyn loosed a quiet laugh. "Alright, so Aldin might have given you a difficult time at first." Just to drive his point home. If you so much as make her cry, you will answer to me, she could practically hear him say. "But he respected you. In time, I am certain he would have grown to love and admire you. He would have been happy for me."
"He was like a brother to you."
She gave a nod, but then her chest rose on a sigh. "Speaking of brothers… How do you reckon yours will take the news?"
Haldir pressed a kiss to her hand. "Orophin will be happy for me. The same for Ithriel." Though surely, they must have been worried, too.
"But Rúmil..." she went on to say. Met by silence, Annalyn said, "You need not shield me from the truth. I have known for some time now. Your brother is not overly fond of me."
Something flashed in his gaze, a note of anger, she thought. "Was he unkind to you?"
"No. Not really," she said at once. To set his mind at ease, Annalyn even touched his arm. "In fact, he has not said a word to me. But I saw him a fortnight ago at breakfast. The look he bestowed upon me left little doubt as to what he thinks about my being in your life."
Haldir's nostrils flared a little. His lips thinning in a line, he looked to the sky for a moment. "Rúmil should have guarded his thoughts." A beat went by. "I shall speak to him, and put an end to his meddling—be it verbal or not."
"No, please. It is not needful. I would hate to cause strife between the two of you. If anything, I understand why he feels the way that he does."
Haldir heaved a sigh. "You are more forgiving than I. In any case, must we speak of my brother this night?"
"No, we needn't speak of him."
Now he looked to her again, and the moment hung there.
Thus the spell was cast. His eyes darkened as he watched her.
Lost to the feelings he so easily evoked in her—the butterflies in her stomach, and that churning heat in her core—Annalyn cupped his face in her hands, while he remained silent under her regard. The two of them watching, waiting… succumbing.
Unhurriedly, his hand slid to the back of her head, causing her eyes to close. Without a word, he drew her to him. Before Annalyn knew it, Haldir's lips were on her hairline, his breath warming her forehead and scalp. The love and devotion that he poured into that one lingering kiss was devastating.
"You now know of our traditions, that it is our wont to wait a year before…" Haldir allowed the words to trail. He seemed to be holding his breath. "When you return from Rohan," he finally whispered against her hair. "Marry me?"
A blink of her eyes and he kissed her hairline again.
Although a wedded life seemed all but assured at this point, the fact that he did not wish to wait stunned her a little. A lot actually. When Annalyn failed to move or say anything, Haldir uttered her name in question. He waited. "Did I… Was this…" Though he was trying not to show it, his nervousness was palpable. Seemingly afraid that he had somehow ruined things between them, he explained, "Loving you… it is dizzying." His throat bobbed. "Annalyn, you should know th—"
"Yes."
His breath caught this time.
Annalyn angled her head to catch his eyes. "When I return, I will marry you." Without hesitation, she almost added.
Time stood still for a moment. He made a sound that was part sigh part growl. "Gi melin," he exhaled and claimed her mouth.
It started with grazing touches, catching breaths, and soft warm kisses stolen here and there.
"Annalyn…" Her name was a veritable prayer on his tongue, one he would never tire of reciting. As her quickening breaths gusted against his parted lips, Haldir stole another smouldering kiss before drawing back so he could feast his eyes.
So fair, he thought as he beheld the woman who would soon be his wife.
Lying beneath his arm, Annalyn watched his face with unguarded longing, her cheeks flushed with excitement. Aching to touch and kiss her, Haldir marvelled at the picture she presented, at how right it felt to be with her like this. While they were both fully clothed, desire heated their blood.
Even now, Haldir wondered if he had imagined it. If his mind had tricked him, and he had somehow dreamt her words.
Yes… When I return, I will marry you.
They were kissing again.
When her scent wafted to his nose, her warmth and softness more tangible than anything he had ever experienced, he latched on to the moment. This was definitely not a dream. It was real. And the sheer perfection of it vaulted him to new heights.
Though not surprising in the least, it hadn't taken very long for passion to assert itself. Especially now that they were up here, on his hidden talan above everything and everyone, with only the leaves and the stars as their witness. Guided by their instincts, they cast themselves upon the wave, exulting in this newest and most thrilling chapter.
Annalyn wished to marry him. He wished to marry her. Sooner rather than later. As far as he was concerned, this made him the most fortunate male in all of Middle-earth—correction, the most fortunate being in all of Arda.
At present, her fingers were in his hair, her mouth tasting his as the two lay on their sides beneath the furs. His body responding in earnest, Haldir pulled her even closer, and wondered where they would draw the line tonight. How she tempted him.
By elvish standards, what they had, and where they now stood… They had gotten there fast. All the same, Haldir felt the rightness of it. Annalyn was meant to be his, and he was meant to be hers.
His hand splayed on her thigh, Haldir severed the kiss and leaned his forehead against her brow, where he drew in a ragged breath, then one more. "You bring me to my knees, Annalyn. I do not believe you realise the power you have over me."
She, too, was breathing hard, her eyes sparkling when she said, "You speak as though I have conquered you." The amusement in her voice could not be missed.
His mouth curving in a half-smile, Haldir couldn't smother the low growl that rose in his throat. "You have."
Before he could say or do aught else, she kissed him. As their mouths melded in a sensuous dance of lips, teeth, and tongues, his fingers somehow made their way to the leather tie that bound her hair. Moments later, he was running his digits through her chestnut waves—so rich and wild.
"Being parted from you…" Annalyn lamented between kisses. "My heart aches just thinking of it."
A wave of desperation seemed to wash over her—a twin to the misery he felt at the thought of her leaving. On the one hand, this made him desperate, and yet it calmed his ardour, too. Adrift on this strange dichotomy, Haldir ran the backs of his fingers down the length of her spine. Slowly. Reverently.
Since dawn was still a few hours away, he considered slowing things a little, taking his time. But his overwhelming need to worship her body took precedence. Hearkening to his commanding nature, Haldir assumed a more assertive role, and rolled them over in one smooth motion, until Annalyn was lying on her back, her hair fanned out around her.
As he trailed featherlight kisses down the column of her neck, Haldir sought her hands. Their interlaced fingers coming to rest just above her shoulders, he breathed in the soft, womanly scent of her.
A cool breeze swirled around their secluded haven just then, but it could not temper the heat that was now coursing through his veins. No mistake, Annalyn was driving him to utter distraction, her body arching beneath his, telling him that her need equaled or surpassed his own.
Haldir was spellbound, his heart thundering so loud as to drown out everything save the incredible woman beneath him. Swallowing against the tightness in his throat, he found that his hand was reaching for the stays at the front of her vest. The Valar help him, but his control was being tested. Right now, all he wanted was to feel more of her. Grasping one end of the knot, he made to pull but stopped himself.
As if sensing his hesitation, Annalyn hooked a finger beneath his chin, guiding him until their gazes connected once more. What are you waiting for? her delighted features seemed to say.
Such a bold creature she was.
His eyes never leaving hers, he started undoing the stays of her vest, slowly and deliberately, until the fabric parted to reveal the woolen tunic beneath.
As heat shot straight to his groin, Haldir held her stare for a moment longer. Then, his gaze drifted downward.
His thoughts flashing back to the moment he had first laid eyes on her, he realised these were the same garments she had worn that day. He had failed to note it at the time, but he had been captivated even then. Now, though… Now, he was positively enthralled, beguiled by the enticing mounds beneath her tunic.
Her chest rising and falling, Annalyn clamped her teeth over her bottom lip, and waited to see what he would do. As badly as he desired to touch her, a part of him wished to appreciate every moment. And so Haldir caressed her neck, his fingertips brushing her throat and making her shiver. He liked that; he liked seeing how his touch affected her. Thinking of the various ways he might please her tonight, he leaned forth and narrowed the gap. Instead of claiming her mouth, however, he bent his head to press a gentle kiss to her temple, her cheek, her jaw.
The answering sigh she gave was as thrilling as the way she breathed his name. As he kissed the underside of her chin, Annalyn angled her face toward him. Her breath was now tickling the pointed shell of his ear, each exhalation sending blissful shivers across his skin.
A touch to his knuckles and he realised that she had sent her hand in search of his own. Raising his fingers to her beautiful mouth, Annalyn kissed each of them in turn, and seemed to love the way he lightly brushed her lower lip with the pad of his thumb.
No longer able to help himself, Haldir lowered his hand until his palm met the soft mound of her left breast. As Annalyn gasped beneath his touch, his head fell forward. Eyes closed, he clenched his jaw and groaned aloud—a low and feral sound to match the smouldering need that was now pulsing throughout his body.
"Firiel…" It was all he could do to control his breathing.
Tasting her mouth once more, he moulded the warm weight in his hand, and nearly fell into madness when he felt the hardening peak beneath the fabric. Cursing softly, Haldir momentarily released her breast so he could hitch her leg over his hip.
A whimper was his first reward. A low, feminine moan was his second.
As Annalyn undulated beneath him, he rocked into the cradle of her thighs, and silently cursed the fabric that yet separated them.
Two months… Two whole months until he could have her. Startling as it might be for an immortal Elf, that brief window now seemed like a very long time.
Annalyn had decided; Haldir was temptation personified.
His taste, his scent, the weight of his body, not to mention that friction, rhythmic but slow… all were conspiring against her, and soon she would lose the ability to think.
Doing her best not to cry out into the night, Annalyn chewed her lower lip, her head tilting to the side as he ground his hardness against her most sensitive area. Sweet Mearas… Her blood afire, she raked her nails over his muscled back, first over his tunic, then clean under.
His back was impossibly smooth, the muscles beneath his skin exuding both grace and strength.
"Haldir…"
Swept by a sudden need to see his face, she reopened her eyes. At first, his face remained close to hers, their noses touching as they rolled their hips in tandem. But then, noting her stare, Haldir propped his weight on his arm.
Gracious, he was beautiful in starlight. But more than that, he made her feel beautiful. Cherished. Wanted.
At present, his elven eyes were devouring her with undisguised need and love—so much love. Honestly, it took her breath away.
Thrilled and humbled at the same time, Annalyn guided his head back down, and promptly started nuzzling his ear. Haldir must have liked that, for his fingers suddenly curled into her thigh, anchoring himself as though he feared she might dissolve or fly away. Not that Annalyn was going anywhere.
Contrary to earlier, when he had touched her solely through her clothing, his right hand now ventured beneath her tunic, feathering along her sensitive waist, up toward her ribcage and higher still. When his warm hand finally cupped and shaped her breast—skin on skin this time—Annalyn could have wept at the rightness of it.
Haldir groaned at the contact, then he breathed something in elvish—a soft curse or an endearment, she could not say. Without letting go of her breast, he kissed his way down her body. Before she knew it, he had disappeared beneath the furs and was pressing soft open-mouthed kisses all around her exposed navel.
A shudder of surprise went through her, her breath leaving her lungs in a rush.
Wanting to see, Annalyn pushed the furs down until his golden head came into view. Haldir was on a mission, it seemed—a journey of hunger and discovery. When his lashes lifted and he met her gaze, his eyes were dancing, his mouth hinting at a smile as he kissed his way toward the laces of her breeches.
Her mouth went dry all of a sudden. Her heart threatening to burst out of her chest, Annalyn propped herself up on her elbow. Though she was no stranger to physical love, what he was doing, or planned to do, was entirely new to her. Wilmaer had never—
He did it. In a smooth and confident motion, Haldir pressed a firm kiss where she desired it most. This time, she couldn't quite stifle a cry. Her body was near to igniting, and he was loving every second of it; the gleam in his eyes told her as much. Without breaking the kiss, his lashes lowered once more. Soon, Haldir was breathing her in. A long, shuddering breath that nearly sent her over the edge. When he finally exhaled, she felt the warmth of it through her clothing. Yes...
His nose brushing against the front of her breeches, he crawled over her shivering body once more. "Cold?" he asked, and hauled the furs back up.
Annalyn shook her head no, for he was wrong. Her shivering had nothing to do with the vanishing cold. His body was all heat. He was all heat. As her legs parted in invitation, Haldir settled between her thighs once more.
Seeing the delight on his face, the curious part of her won out. With her left hand to his shoulder, Annalyn prompted him to rise up on his arms. Her right hand, however, was far from idle. As she observed his face, her fingers gathered the front of his tunic before inching their way down his toned abdomen, tracing soft patterns as they ventured a little lower still. Down… down…
The moment she touched him through his breeches, the air rushed out of his lungs and he hung his head. His full lips were parted, his chest rising and falling with every ragged breath. The pleasure on his face was such a wonder to behold, Annalyn could not look away, nor did she want to. She was in trouble, she decided. Perfect, bone-melting trouble.
How long she stroked him, she had no idea. Even through fabric, his firmness strained and pulsed beneath her cradling hand. By touch alone, Annalyn knew he would be magnificent to behold.
And so, with love and fire in her veins, she pleasured him until he clasped her wrist and stilled her hand. His breath hissed and his body trembled. With closing eyes, Haldir clenched his jaw, and waited for the cresting sensation to subside. When his blood had calmed enough for him to move, he surprised her by laying alongside her.
A second later, his hand returned to her hip. "Turn around." A command, soft and sensual. With his front pressed to her back, Haldir pulled her close, and spoke against the nape of her neck, his voice scarce more than a rasp when he asked, "May I?"
His fingers were poised to undo the laces of her breeches. At her answering nod, he released the knot with agonizing slowness, then his hand was reaching in, his palm grazing its way toward the crux of her thighs.
"Long have I yearned to do this," he whispered reverently and found her center for the first time.
Their reactions were simultaneous—catching breaths followed by prolonged sighs.
"Annalyn… ae…"
Through the fog of her arousal, Annalyn couldn't help but wonder if this was a new experience for him, touching a woman this way. Although he showed no hesitation, his fingers stroking and rousing with expert gentleness, something told her this was a first for him.
His first… She was going to be his first in almost every way. It made her life to know this. If only I had waited, she thought to herself, but soon cast it from her mind. Tonight was not about the past. Rather, it was about her and Haldir, and the future they would build. Together.
Two months, she all but groaned in her head.
Haldir worked her gently that night, brining her to the brink time and time again. When she could no longer endure his merciless teasing, Annalyn begged with a whispered, "Please… please, Haldir…"
Ceding to her wish, he pleasured her until she was gasping for breath. Her womb clenched and quivered. She was going to—
"Look at me." His strangled voice somehow reached her pleasure-addled mind, and she did as he asked.
And just like that, her world exploded into a thousand blissful pieces, her body trembling with a depth of sensation she had not known until now. As Annalyn rejoiced with a soft cry of his name, Haldir watched her with singular focus, his eyes glazed over, his mouth slightly agape. At last, when those final rippling waves overtook her and her eyes rolled to the back of her head, the last thing she saw was the love and utter wonder on his beloved face.
*Gi melin – "I love you."
