Chapter IX: Steam


The idea of sleeping in the same bed as Rem after the previous evening's nearly fever pitch was an awkward thing for Subaru at the start of their night. Neither of them had said anything about the event after Ram had left, settling for the peace of night and the resolution of the stressful feelings that both had experienced as a result of Ram's sudden release of pressure. Something in the atmosphere had palpably shifted between the two of them, although Subaru couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly had changed aside from the fact that he knew something about Rem now that she had presumably kept hidden for a while.

Did he feel the same way about Rem as she did about him? The air between the two of them was like silk, soft and warm, but it felt delicate such that Subaru feared speaking, lest the demure sultriness be damaged by untoward thoughts. He had set out practicing writing on parchment with Rem behind his chair, a soft hand on his shoulder as she watched his hand move across the paper, from time to time her other hand reaching out to nab the pen from his right hand and demonstrate a word or symbol for him to correct himself. Her hand was like fire on his shoulder, setting alight on his skin something, a placebo entirely crafted by his brain, he knew, that left his cheeks lightly dusted with red. When her fingers touched his to take the pen from him, they left an indomitable tingle on the flesh of his hand that he couldn't will away no matter how hard he tried.

She drew the pen across the paper once more, the smoothness and depth of the stroke of the pen reminding him of the tenderness of the girl standing just behind him, her breath hot on his cheek as she leaned in to glide it across the paper just so. The artful brush of the pen against the parchment was quintessentially Rem- careful and deliberate, but containing its own personal flair that made it unique and enticingly satisfying to watch.

Something had certainly changed between them, but he wasn't sure if Rem realized it. She seemed to be carrying through the night just like always, completely unfazed aside from a pleasant smile which graced her lips that he couldn't help but glance at from time to time, drinking in her newly resurgent happiness at spending time with him. It was her smile, he tried to convince himself, and not her lips that he was staring at.

"Subaru..." his thoughts were alight in self-condemnation, "baka mitai..."


Rem set about her new nightly routine with Subaru comfortably. The previous evening's near fever pitch had left her exhausted and relieved at first, but now she found that she was floating lightly through a pleasant night with Subaru, mind lighter with her feelings on the table. As he began his writing practice for the night, she absentmindedly sidled up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder, physical contact having become typical between the two of them and something she didn't even pay a second thought. He occasionally still struggled writing diphthongs, so every now and again she would reach out and gently tug the pen from his hand, drawing it across the paper in long, sweeping arcs gently gliding across the paper to artfully and accurately show him the proper way.

She couldn't keep a small smile off of her face no matter how she tried to school herself back into the simple comfort of being around Subaru-kun. She knew her sister, and though she couldn't entirely suppress the feeling of remorse at how resentful she had been of Ram- enough to slap her when she attacked Subaru, though that was deserved- she could forgive herself given the result. Her feelings for Subaru were out on the table and he hadn't instantly rejected her. Her sister had tacitly, in her own way, given them her blessing by backing off from investigating Subaru so fervently. Just like how it felt when they had shared the burden of the resets, things were looking sweetly optimistic for her dreams of the future.

She couldn't help but notice that Subaru would trail his eyes over her face from time to time, although she couldn't be certain exactly what he was looking for as he searched, reading her for something unknowable. She gently wrapped the pen back in his hand and crinkled her nose up in a cherubic smile when he glanced back up at her, meeting her eyes and quickly fleeing back into staring down at his paper uncomfortably.


Rem had removed her hairband and bows, letting her hair hang freely over the sides and back of her head in a manner rarely seen outside of the privacy of the private chambers. They sat upon the bed, Subaru's hand shaking as he ran a brush through the soft threads of her hair, smoothing out an errant knot here or there he had missed earlier with his hands. There were still no words to be said, the routine of the night carrying them closer and closer to the inevitable sleep- or lack thereof- that the stillness would bring. Even still, he struggled with the impulse to play in her hair with his left hand as he combed through it with his right, the thoughts of running his hand through the blue locks consuming the back of his mind and turning his strokes of the brush into shaky, robotic movements that still served their purpose, if only just.

It was as if a switch somewhere deep inside of him had been flipped and suddenly, with all of the subtleness of night, something new had overtaken his perception of the girl sitting with her back against his side on his bed there in the manor. His brushing done, he placed the tool down on the bed beside his legs and brought his hand up, an involuntary will, a paradox of thoughtless intent, pulling it inward until it was mutinying against his earlier inner battle, getting lost in her hair as he toyed with it. He felt her relax into his side as his right hand set about running through her hair, his other arm sneaking its way around her middle traitorously, as if it had a mind of its own. That hand rested on her stomach, and then his right had found its way through her now mussed hair to curl around and surround her cheek on the opposite side.

Did he feel the same way about Rem as she did about him? It was true, he was much closer with her now than he really ever had been with Emilia before he had declared his love for her, but was it fair to compare the childish aspiration of a naive boy on his first trip through a new world with the driving sensation inside of him that now moved his body in rebellion with his own thoughts? No, and he swept those thoughts aside. No, it was unfair to make the comparison. There was nothing alike about the two situations.

He ran that hand down her cheek and stopped at her chin, cupping it. Her face turned to his.


Rem preened under Subaru's intentional spoiling of her after their stressful day. She had helped him with his writing practice, although in truth he really didn't need all that much guidance, and was rewarded with one of her favorite things to experience with him from before the resets. He would brush her hair at night and sometimes they would chat about the world around them, Ram and Emilia, Roswaal, and their plans for the future. Before, it had been something friendly and close, yes, but always just friendly. As she felt herself be pampered for the one time in the day she truly could reliably feel cared for by someone other than her sister, she could plainly feel that something was different about this time.

She leaned into him when he began to brush her hair, and reveled in how soft the atmosphere around the two of them felt now that she wasn't hiding anything beneath the layers of the prim and proper maid, and the good friend who looked out for Subaru. Now everything was out in the open, at least so she felt, and he was still treating her the same. Better, even, given that he was sitting so much closer even now, as he finished brushing through her hair. She nearly floated off of the bed in pleased satisfaction when she felt his hand run through her hair the first time, and pushed her back up against him until they couldn't possibly get any closer. When his arm snaked around her waist, she knew her face was heating up, and internally she felt her heart jump through her chest. Every time his hand ran down a lock of her hair, it felt like she was about to burst with happiness.

Until his hand stopped running through her hair, and suddenly she was deprived of the sensuous touch of hand on hair. She didn't need to wait long, as only a short moment passed between the two before she felt his hand run down her cheek, stopping at her chin, where a slight press of his fingers had her looking up at him with wide eyes.


He drank in the look that she gave him, meshed up against him like a leisurely cat as she was, and watched with curious revelry as she slowly realized the position that they were in, her wide eyes morphing from surprise to hopeful anticipation as he searched her face again. She was bouncing her eyes from his left to his right, looking for something just like he was, until after a few seconds he watched as those eyes became lidded and she let out a deep breath. He ran his thumb over the left side of her lips and memorized the texture to the sound of her sharp intake of breath. The trust of her closed eyes beckoned him and, ultimately, he found himself asking that one question again for the last time, he hoped.

Did he feel the same way about Rem as she did about him? His hand tilted her chin up and he watched with puzzled wonderment as her face grew closer and closer to his somehow. No, not "somehow." He was leaning in towards her, wasn't he? What pleasureful feelings ran across his body at the feeling of her against him, faces just centimeters apart. He felt her breath on his lips, jagged and uneven but still anticipatory, just as silken as the feeling of the air around them. Unable to bear looking anymore as the moment approached when they would meet, Subaru witnessed more than willed his eyes closing, the tranquility of unsight greeting him as he leaned forward the last few millimeters.

Their lips touched, the two of them letting out a shared breath that neither knew they had been holding, as they let the moment carry them through the meshing of their lips together, a soft hum finding its way from Rem's chest as she relished this new explosive feeling of Subaru's lips against hers. Wanting more, one hand wrinkled the comforter of the bed while the other grasped the leg of his pants and clutched it for all it was worth. It was he that released the low hum this time as his other hand, freeing itself from its place around her, wrapped itself up in her hair.

Somewhere along the way, the two found themselves prone on the bed. When they separated, Rem was breathing heavily with her chest against his, his back on the bed and head against the pillow as if they had just woken up from sleep. She leaned up over him, eyes half-lidded, and he opened his eyes to see her inches in front of his face, a serene but wanting look on her face. He let out another deep breath and pulled her down for more.

Internally, as his hands found a place on her back, he answered his own question. Did he feel the same way about Rem as she did about him? What did it matter? He couldn't imagine ever wanting this to end.