CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of parental, sexual and physical abuse and attempted suicide. While not graphic, this content still may be difficult or upsetting to read, so please take breaks or skip sections as needed. Stay safe.
4/12 – Tuesday
After School
Shujin Academy, Entrance
For the second time in two days, Ren found himself stumbling into a very real alleyway, out of breath, alongside Ryuji.
"Where's Morgana?" the blond wheezed.
"Dunno," Ren replied between his own attempts at deep breaths. "Off doing...his own thing, again, probably."
A few seconds passed in near silence.
"How're you doing?" Ryuji asked.
Ren reached up and massaged his throat. It was still a little sore, but he could breathe well enough. "Alive. Uh, not dead. I mean..." He winced at his own words. "I'm okay. I'll be okay."
Ryuji gave him a long, piercing look. "Yeah. Cool. I'm...glad." He straightened up, gaze flicking over towards nothing on the near wall, clearly avoiding eye contact. "I'm sorry. You got hurt, and...yeah. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Ren said, before he could even think through if it actually was. He wasn't mad, that was for sure. Ryuji had every right to lose his shit. Ren's injury wasn't the boy's fault. "It is. So...yeah. I forgive you, but you don't need to apologize. You're good." His own gaze wandered off towards nothing. "What happened to you was fucked. I don't need to know it all to know that."
Silence between them again.
"So," Ryuji said. He shifted in place. "I'm...kinda hungry. And my mom gets home late on Tuesdays, so..." He glanced towards Ren with what looked like a hopeful smile. "Do you wanna...like, go get something to eat? Downtown, you and me."
Ren almost declined immediately, but found his stomach empty and his appetite far from wanting. "Yeah," he said. "That sounds good. Do you have a place in mind?"
"A couple," Ryuji said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and gestured with his head towards the alleyway's end. "How do you feel about beef bowls?"
Ren didn't enjoy the feeling of eating around other people, but he was too hungry to hold back from doing so. Exhaustion had set in pretty quickly, he definitely wasn't used to stretching...whatever muscle let him summon a demon at will. So he adjusted himself on the stool at the restaurant countertop he and Ryuji were sitting at, and he ate.
"My dad was a piece of shit," Ryuji said, unprompted, about five minutes into their meal. "Abusive, you know? Like...real scumbag. Treated me and my mom like crap, but he won the bread and all, so it's like...it was either deal with that, or deal with being broke all the time." He took a long sip of water. "About the end of middle school, my mom saved enough to kick him out. Restraining order and everything, never seen or heard from the guy since then."
"I'm sorry," Ren said. "I mean, I'm glad that he's gone, but..."
"Yeah," Ryuji said. "I get you. It was fucked up for real." He hummed a thought around his mouth, wiggling a chopstick between his fingers in some idle fidget. "Kamoshida found out, somehow. He's like...all the sports teams go through him, right? But he only gives a shit about the volleyball team, and kept complaining about how track took up all this time and money and shit, and...I mean, he wanted us gone."
"You ran track?" Ren asked.
Ryuji nodded. "Yep. Back when my leg wasn't all fucked up." He patted his right knee twice. "Like I said, Kamoshida wanted us out of the way. So he just kept egging us on, screwing us out of practice and just...I mean, we all put up with it. No one wanted to piss the guy off. I needed the scholarship money, you know? We all did."
The words 'Track Traitor' danced across the back of Ren's mind. "You tried to hit him, and he..." Ren swallowed the rest of the words. "Sorry. I don't know if you...I mean, it's not my story to tell."
Ryuji just shrugged. "Nah, man. It's cool. Besides, you're totally right. I mean, except, I did hit him." He tapped his knuckles with a little grin. "Punched him right in the fucking face. Which...I mean, feels good to think about, but that was probably what screwed us over. Not like I could run anymore, after the guy fucked up my leg. But the school said self-defense, and shut down the whole team, kicked everybody off. Cause I punched him in the face."
Ren let that sink in. "That's messed up." He chewed his way through a long bite of particularly tough beef. "Every part of that is messed up."
"Yeah," Ryuji chuckled. "It is." He stretched his arms over his head, cracking his back, then returned to his meal. "I mean, hey, coming from you, that's probably a lot." Ren raised an eyebrow, and Ryuji stuttered out a vague attempt at correction. "Cause, like, you know. You seem like a really chill and nice guy, and I know you were in juvie and shit, but for real, like, I dunno, you probably just...tried helping someone, or something. Like you helped me."
Huh. "That's...not that far off, actually," Ren said. The words left him easier than he would have assumed they would.
"Yeah?" Ryuji sent a glance across the short distance. "I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. For real, you don't owe me anything."
Ren let that offer stew in silence for a few seconds. "There was this woman," he began. "It was dark. Night, I mean. I heard this guy yelling, and it was...like, some drunk guy, trying to drag this woman somewhere, and she was asking for help. There wasn't anyone else around but me." He could still hear the echoes of that night, the lingering notes of tension swimming past his eardrums. "I tried to get him to leave her alone, and he just trips over himself, smacks his head. And then..." Sirens. Flashing red and blue lights reflecting off his toothy smirk. "Someone called the cops or something, and the guy says I pushed him."
Ren pushed a piece of broccoli from one side of his bowl to the other. "I spent the next couple nights in a holding cell. Then the trial is...I mean, it's all a blur. But that woman comes back as a witness, and she says she saw me push him, that the man hadn't been doing anything wrong, that it was all my fault." He shook his head, a little bitter laugh escaping him, a sound he'd probably been holding for years. "I really thought trials were supposed to be long and thorough and stuff, but mine took...five minutes, maybe? Then I'm getting shipped off to juvie for a year. It was supposed to be three years, but...parole, good behavior, all that."
Ryuji's chopstick snapped in half between his fingers. Ren jumped. "That's...fucked!" Ryuji exclaimed, furiously scoffing at nothing. "What the shit was wrong with her? You stuck your neck out for her and she turns around and gets you landed in juvie?"
Ren managed a diplomatic shrug. "I don't know. I mean...that guy told her what to say, maybe he had something over her." He frowned. "I don't even know his name. No one ever said it in the trial, so I just kind of...didn't ever find out."
Ryuji gawked at him. "Dude, what? At least have the balls to bring the guy in to talk about what happened, right?" He growled at nothing, digging into his bowl with his other chopstick. "But that's assuming they actually wanted to do their jobs and not just write off some kid for causing trouble." Ryuji shook his head. "You deserve better, Ren. That's absolute shit for anyone, and you're a great guy, so...yeah, fuck them. You deserve better."
Ren managed a smile that came easier than he assumed it would. "Thank you. I mean, right back at you. We both deserve better."
Ryuji nodded, holding up a fist, extending it awkwardly towards Ren. "Damn right we do."
Ren gently, silently, matched the motion, bumping his knuckles against Ryuji's.
4/13 – Wednesday
Lunchtime
Shujin Academy, Courtyard
"Where'd you run off to yesterday?" Ren asked, as Morgana hopped up onto the nearby table to make it to their eye level.
"I was opening up a shortcut for the next infiltration," Morgana said, sending a small glare towards both boys. "Like we talked about."
"Ah." Ren had completely forgotten about that in the midst of...everything. "That's a big help, Morgana. Thanks."
His fur ruffled, and Morgana preened in place. "Well, you're very welcome, Ren."
"Yo," Ryuji said, leaning back against the nearby vending machine and crossing his arms. "Speaking of yesterday, you've got some explaining to do."
"Er," Morgana said.
"Mental shutdowns," Ryuji continued. "Start talking."
Morgana let out a long sigh, which stretched into a slightly-too-long silence. "How much do you both know about them?"
Ren shrugged. "Not much. I've been in juvie for a year, so...yeah."
Ryuji pursed his lips. "It's like...people just kinda dropping, yeah?" He ran a hand back through his hair. "Like a weird seizure or something, but there's nothing actually wrong with them. Their brain just, like...turns off. Started happening a lot last year."
"That's pretty close," Morgana said. "A Mental Shutdown is the loss of all desires. It's like...cognitive nihilism. Your brain stops telling your body to stay alive. Without intervention..." He let the words trail off. "It's what I was looking into when I was human." Ren had already been paying attention to Morgana, but now the feline had his unbroken focus. "I don't remember all the details about my investigation, but I know what my working theory was: that someone or something is killing people's Shadows within the Metaverse, erasing their desires. I don't know who, or what, or why, but that's how it's happening. I'm positive."
Ren let a long breath escape him. "What's Kamoshida have to do with that?"
"He's got a Palace," Morgana said with a full-body shrug. "I was probably looking into lots of Palaces, I just happened to get captured in that one."
"And if we don't want to do that whole shutdown thing to Kamoshida," Ryuji said, "then we've gotta find his...evil desire thing, and leave his Shadow alone."
"Treasure," Morgana corrected. "But, yes. We might have to fight Kamoshida's Shadow anyway, Palace Rulers like him aren't going to just sit around and let us take their desires. But so long as we just focus on incapacitating him, not actually hurting, then it should be fine." He stretched out across the table. "So, are we heading back in today? I'm itching to make some more progress."
Ryuji sighed. "Can't. I mean, you two could head in there without me, but I've got detention. Today and tomorrow."
Ren couldn't help but wince. "Right. Sorry." He rolled a hum into his cheek. "I'll pass too. Morgana and I would have been pretty screwed if you and Captain Kidd hadn't been there yesterday."
"We were doing fine until that last part," Morgana grumbled, but Ryuji didn't seem to notice.
"Aww, you fucking flatterer." He leaned off the vending machine to sock Ren gently in the arm. "Twice as much ass-kicking Friday?"
"Friday," Ren agreed.
"Better bring your A-game," Morgana teased.
Ryuji snorted. "Like I ever don't."
4/14 – Thursday
After School
Shibuya Station
Tokyo's underground transit was starting to wear on Ren. Only three days, and he was already getting sick of milling through crowds of very loud people every morning and evening on his transfer. Hm. Maybe there was another route he hadn't noticed. Ren stole towards the side of the station, away from the majority of the noise, and his eyes fell on a little spot around the corner from the main entrance out towards Scramble Crossing. He leaned against the wall, catching his anxious breath and extracting his phone from his pocket.
"–not okay, you can't keep showing up with new bruises and then telling me everything is fine, because it's clearly not!" That voice sounded...very, very familiar.
"It is fine." Another voice. Not familiar. Two girls talking, both of them...around the corner, maybe? Near the entrance. "Ann, I promise, if something bad was happening...I'd tell you, you know I'd tell you." Ann. Takamaki Ann?
A strained sigh. "I know, I know you would, I'm sorry. I trust you, Shiho, I promise I do. I just..." An exasperated little noise. "I hate seeing you like this."
A moment of silence. "He's still been texting you, hasn't he?"
"Shiho–"
"You don't have to answer him." A sharpness entered her tone. The other girl – Shiho, apparently – sounded halfway between fury and tears. "You shouldn't answer him. You don't owe Kamoshida anything," and Ren's pulse quickened into near-panic, "so you can just...pretend he doesn't exist, okay?"
"It's not that easy," Ann replied. "I...believe me, I wish I could just...I'm sorry, it's just not that easy." Silence again. "I'm not letting him do anything, okay? I promise, I'm not."
"I know," Shiho said. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just...tired."
Ann hummed a strained little thought. "Yeah. You worked hard in practice today."
"Gotta earn my keep somehow," Shiho said. Half a joke, but something was so very awful and false about it. "You've got a gig after this, right?"
"Busted." Ann giggled, as airy and fake as anything. "Are you gonna get home okay?"
"I'm a tough girl, I can protect myself." A quiet shuffling of footsteps. "Take care of yourself too, alright?"
"Always do." Silence, and then movement again. "See you tomorrow, okay?"
"Mhm."
And a girl with blonde hair walked around the corner and into the station proper. She didn't seem to notice Ren, not even sparing a look towards him. Probably too much on her mind. But...
Ren turned the corner, glancing off towards where Ann had entered from. There was another girl in a Shujin uniform, dark hair in a ponytail, heading out towards Shibuya proper. Hm. There was still a lingering acidity in the air, as if that overheard conversation had left a sour taste in the entrance itself. Ren's curiosity twitched at his better judgment, once again urging him to get involved in matters that didn't involve him.
No. No, they did involve him. They did now, at least. Ren's hand curled into a light fist by his side. Kamoshida's Shadow had made things pretty fucking personal with the second murder attempt. And if this girl knew something about this whole fucked-up story that Ryuji wasn't comfortable telling...
Ren broke into a jog before his mind had solidified the decision. "Hey, uh, Shiho?"
The girl turned, raising an eyebrow at him. Oh. Ann had said bruises, but...fuck. The skin over Shiho's left temple was a dark, inflamed purple, barely hidden under an adhesive bandage stuck to her forehead. "Do I know you?"
Ren shook his head. "No, uh, sorry, um...Ren Amamiya, I'm–"
"New kid," Shiho said, cold recognition shining across her tired irises. There were bags under her eyes. She probably hadn't been sleeping well, if at all. "Right. Ann told me about you. You helped her out the other day, yeah?"
Ren nodded. "I did. I mean, we're even now, but...yeah."
"And you've been hanging out with Ryuji?" she prompted.
First name basis. "You know him?"
Shiho snorted. "I don't think there's anyone at Shujin who doesn't. But I guess I know him better than most." Her gaze drifted off towards nothing. "Me and him were both friends with Ann back in middle school. Some of high school too, until Kamoshida pinned that whole Track Treason thing on him. Then...well, Ann and I are still BFFs. Ryuji...not so much."
Right. Okay. The picture was really starting to come into focus now. About damn time, too. "Why's that?" he asked.
"And why are you asking me?" Shiho fired back. "You're friends with Ryuji, right? Go talk to him about it."
"I..." Ren began, before multiple days worth pent up frustration left him all at once in a single furious sigh. "I'm fucking trying, okay!?" Shiho blinked at him and he shoved as much vitriol back down his throat as he could manage. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...ugh, this whole thing is just...I get here three days ago and everyone already knows I'm on parole, and now it's like both Ann and Ryuji are trying to get me to agree that the other one is a piece of shit when I barely even know either of them, and I'm still just a little bit stuck on the fact that one of the teachers here beats his fucking students and no one ever talks about it!"
Shiho let silence drift between them. Ren could feel a few strange eyes on him, the realization setting in that he'd just made a hell of a scene in a very public space. "You done?" Shiho asked.
Ren bit back a grumble. "Yeah," he said. "I'm done. Sorry."
The girl threw a glance off towards the nearby Crossing and Shibuya Central Street behind it, then back to Ren. "I'm hungry," she said. "Practice was hell. So I'm going to go get some food over at Big Bang Burgers. And any answers I've got to...all of that? Which, forewarning, begin and end with me getting my nose broken for refusing to take my shirt off. That's where they'll be. So if you're cool with hopping in the deep end, then by all means, be my guest." She turned, sparing a single glance. "If not, then I'll see you around, Amamiya." And Shiho started walking.
Ren watched her leave. He wasn't sure when he'd stopped breathing, but he forced himself to start again. Okay. Fuck. He hadn't even really considered...but did that change how he felt? Did it change that he wanted to see things as they were, even if the reality they painted was ugly. If he didn't understand the world, didn't understand what was wrong...he couldn't help anyone.
Was your decision then a mistake too?
He'd already made his oath. It hadn't been a mistake a year ago. It wasn't a mistake now. Ren took a long, deep breath, and he followed after the girl.
The sun was setting through the window behind Shiho, washing over the fast food restaurant's white and red interior with a consistent orange-amber hue.
"I'm on the girls volleyball team," Shiho began. She dipped a fry into ketchup and swirled it around idly, her cheek resting in her other hand. She would have seemed bored, if not for the tension rolling off her like steam off boiling water. "We're Kamoshida's favorites. That's the idea, anyway." She gestured idly to the bruise on her temple. "Special treatment doesn't mean much if you're still getting beaten. We win more than the other teams, but..." She shrugged. "Like I said. Doesn't mean much."
Ren nodded. "Yeah. I kinda guessed as much." The cognitive students back in Kamoshida's Palace. "He abuses all the teams, doesn't he?"
"Yep," Shiho replied. "And...well, there's really only one student, who isn't an athlete, that he still treats like scum." Her eyes were cold and tired beyond tired. "Ann." Shiho closed her eyes and opened them again. "He's been hitting on her ever since first year, trying to get her to 'come around' to his... advances ." Her teeth grit behind her words. "And I got to be the star of the volleyball team while she was just trying to get him to leave her alone."
Fuck. Ren forced himself to breathe. It wasn't easy. The stale conditioned air in this place was starting to feel thick and oppressive.
"Apparently, I was his leverage," Shiho continued. She finally pulled the now soggy-looking fry from its carmine pool and popped it in her mouth. "If you don't let me do what I want, I'll pull your best friend off the team. I'll hurt her. Shit like that." She picked up another fry and snapped into pieces idly between her fingers. "It got bad. Worse than she told me, probably; and it took her months to tell me. I didn't know it was him until after he'd broken Ryuji's leg." Ren barely held back a wince, but Shiho just kept going. "Kamoshida was worse than usual that week. More violent. Taking out his anger on everyone, because someone had finally stood up to him. That pissed him off royally. "
"Is that why Ryuji and Ann fell out?" Ren asked. He didn't even know how he could manage the words.
Shiho nodded. "I think so. Ann just hated that Ryuji wouldn't shut up and kept pissing Kamoshida off, and Ryuji...I'm guessing, he thinks Kamoshida finally took it easy on her, and he's mad she's not coming forward." A dry, strained smile. "But that's not the whole story, obviously."
"Kamoshida didn't stop," Ren concluded. "But Ann did." He pursed his lips. "Did he lose his leverage?"
"Sort of," Shiho said, chuckling out the words. Barely contained laughter, like there was something just so funny about this. Maybe it was the only way she could bear to talk about it. "More like he gained new leverage."
Something clicked in the back of Ren's head. " She's the leverage, isn't she? He threatened you to hurt Ann, and now he's–"
"Threatening Ann to hurt me," Shiho said. "Yep. Got it in one." She smiled, and those dark eyes were brimming with tears. "He likes Ann because she's pretty. Because she's a part time model, and she grew up in America. She's exotic , and he likes that. But more than her...he likes it when people do what he says without asking questions. So long as I keep my mouth shut and jump when he tells me, he won't assault my best friend." She shuddered out an awful laugh. "Hell of a deal, isn't it?"
"He's making you pick between you or her," Ren said. "Fuck. That's fucking vile."
Shiho took a while to speak again, and her voice was lower and clearer when she did. "And if you tell Ann, by the way, I'll fucking kill you. Just so you know."
Ren almost felt like laughing, and he didn't know why. "I'm not going to. I never would." He forced a deep breath into his lungs. "Why even risk it, though? I mean, why tell me? Aren't you worried I'll...I don't know, call the cops or something? Make it worse?"
"A felon on parole calling the cops?" Shiho replied, dryly.
"Okay, fair," Ren said. "But...I mean..."
She held up a hand, and Ren stopped trying to articulate a protest. Shiho lowered her hand, and sighed. "I don't know why I'm telling you. I guess...because you asked." A little strained smile. "It's been a while, anyway. Maybe I'm some sort of thrillseeker or something. The last person I told was Mishima halfway through Summer, and let's just say he's already been trained out of calling wolf."
The phrasing sent a little spiral of dread into Ren's gut. "No one ever says anything, do they? Even the people who know?"
"Not a soul," Shiho replied. "Why would they? All the grownups think Kamoshida shits rainbows, and all us kids know better than to piss him off." She leaned back into her seat, drooping slightly as if she no longer had the energy to hold herself upright. "And the last person who tried to stand up to Kamoshida was Ryuji. I'm sure you know how that went."
Another piece of the puzzle locked into place. "He was an example," Ren said. It wasn't a question. It didn't need to be. "That's why no one talks. They don't want to go through that."
Shiho nodded. "A few of the girls were talking about emailing a newspaper or something, about a week before the Track Treason. Then, a week after, nothing. Dead quiet."
Ren leaned back in his chair as well. "Fuck," he said. He shook his head. "There has to be someone, right? Someone who...I don't know. Someone who would know to look." Wishful thinking.
"Get real," Shiho said, and she sounded too tired to be spiteful. "If you're not being hurt, why would you care enough to look? No one wants to be that buzzkill who asks why all the jocks in Shujin have bruises." She slid out of the side of her booth, pushing the fries across the table in front of Ren. "Here. I'm kinda...less hungry than I thought." She didn't even look at him as she made her way around the table and towards the door.
"Shiho," he called. She stopped, glanced towards him, and any thoughts fell back into his throat. What could he even say? Ren swallowed. "I...I won't let him get away with this. I promise. I'll pay him back for every scar."
She didn't say a word for a long few seconds. "You're kind of an asshole, new kid." Shiho turned her back. "It's a dick move to get someone's hopes up like that." Without another word, she pushed her way out the door, and left Ren alone in the near-empty restaurant.
4/15 – Friday
Noon
Shujin Academy
Ryuji plopped down into criss-cross against the other wall of the hallway so fast that Ren felt his own hips ache in proxy. "Hey, I think I forgot to tell you, but I think that Metaverse Navi-thing might be contagious."
Ren, much more slowly, made his way to the floor as well. "Contagious?"
Ryuji pulled out his phone and unlocked it, then turned it around. A black eye set in a red star, sitting in his applications. "Found it on my phone yesterday, after I got back from detention."
"Weird." The Navigator had been a gift from Igor, hadn't it? Hm. Ryuji had a copy for...what, redundancy? He had a Persona now, maybe that had something to do with it. Another question for later, if Ren even remembered to ask.
Ryuji placed his phone onto his leg and stretched his arms out against the wall. "You seen Morgana today?"
"I haven't. Not since yesterday." Ren pursed his lips. "I hope he didn't go back to the Palace without us."
"We need, like, a meeting place," Ryuji mumbled. "Or to get him a phone or something." He smirked, maybe to himself. "Guy says he used to be human, yeah? Least he could do is text us."
"He doesn't have opposable thumbs," Ren said.
"Yeah, I know, but still!" Ryuji leaned back against the wall, rolling a hum into his cheek. "Do you think they make phones for cats?"
Ren just shrugged, his gaze wandering as Ryuji picked up his cell again, no doubt searching for an answer to his question. Huh. While sitting on the floor, the window gave a pretty solid vantage point up towards the roof. Up towards...there was a girl standing there. On the side of the roof without proper fencing. Facing off the side. Ren could see the tips of her white shoes. She was standing on the edge.
Black hair in a ponytail.
Ren couldn't breathe.
The girl tilted, wavering in the air.
And she fell.
Ren made it to the courtyard in a haze. Ryuji dipped in and out of his periphery, always there, never saying a word. A crowd of students had gathered, despite the vocal efforts by multiple teachers to corral everyone back inside. A couple EMTs had made it to the girl. To Shiho. Even if Ren's sight had been mistaken, back in the hallway, he couldn't mistake that blonde-haired girl crouching by her side. He could hear Ann sobbing, pleading, even through the whispers of the crowd, even across the distance. Ren couldn't look away.
Firm hands on his shoulders, steering him towards the entrance. "Ren." Ryuji's voice, as steady as he could probably keep it under the circumstances. "Talk to me, buddy. Come on, please." He turned Ren around. His voice couldn't shake Ren, his touch couldn't, but the fear in those brown eyes definitely could. Easily.
"I saw her yesterday," he managed. "After school, she was at the train station. We...talked."
Ryuji sucked in a breath, letting go of Ren and taking a step backwards. "Did she say anything?"
"Everything," Ren said. "But..." His gaze flicked back towards the crowd. "Not this."
"Fuck." Ryuji ran both hands back through his hair, turning away, letting out a sharp breath. "Fuck. Fuck!"
Movement towards the other side of the courtyard caught Ren's eye. A boy with dark hair and darker circles under his eyes, his gaze continually flicking towards Ren and Ryuji, clearly trying to beat a hasty retreat through the crowd. He'd seen him before...
The last person I told was Mishima halfway through Summer, and let's just say he's already been trained out of calling wolf."
Mishima. The quiet boy who sat next to Ren in homeroom. That Mishima. "He knows."
Ryuji's gaze flicked back towards Ren. "Who does?"
Ren motioned to Mishima, whose already pale face seemed to drain even further of color. "She told me yesterday. He knows what Kamoshida was doing to her. And now–"
"And now he's running." Ryuji grit his teeth. "That little weasel. Come on!"
Ren broke into a stutter-sprint, a step behind Ryuji, weaving through the crowd as quickly as he could, eyes locked on that fleeing boy. On the only person who could possibly explain this.
Ren stared through Mishima, who was currently in the process of trying to move as far away from him and Ryuji as possible in the corner of the cramped locker room they'd cornered him in.
"Explain," Ryuji said. His left heel was tapping a mile a minute against the floor. " Now ."
"I...I don't know anything," Mishima said. "She never told me...she didn't–"
"Stop fucking lying!" Ryuji barked, and Mishima recoiled further. Ren's own heart lurched in his chest, but he didn't move an inch. Something cold and unknowable had settled in him, icing over his lungs. Something he didn't have a name for yet. "She told you what he did to her, and now she's..." He gestured sharply at nothing. "And you didn't say shit."
"You had all of Summer to come forward," Ren said. His voice sounded empty in his ears.
"I didn't know this would happen!" Mishima protested, eyes wide and fearful and pained. "I'm not...how could I have known!?"
And it clicked. The parcels. The dates. The letter. Oxymoron.
Of Ren's beneficiaries, of all the people who were trying to dig their fingers into his actions, Oxymoron had made a pretty strong implication that they knew what was coming next. That they had some amount of knowledge of the future, whether that was time travel or precognition or something else entirely.
Which means they had known, from the beginning, that this was going to happen. That Shiho was suffering. That Ren would have an opportunity to talk to her. That she would jump. They had four whole days to give him some kind of warning, or sign, or anything . But no. Here's four million yen and a knife and a fucking stick; have fun watching a girl try to kill herself.
"I didn't...I just didn't...you don't know what it's like!" Mishima said. Ren barely processed the words.
"Fucking try me!" Ryuji slammed his heel down, letting out a furious growl. "You think I don't know what it's like to get the short end against that piece of shit?"
"No you don't!" Anger now. "You don't get it, Sakamoto. You got off easy , okay? Compared to the shit we have to go through, you got off easy."
Ren took a step forward, brought his left hand up and then punched the nearest locker as hard as he could.
Neither Ryuji nor Mishima said a word.
"No one got it easy," Ren said. He pulled his hand back, ignoring the shooting pain now climbing his arm, ignoring the red-tinted dent his knuckles had made in the metal. "We're not blaming you for what happened to Shiho. Not for her being assaulted, not for her jumping. It's not your fault. We just want to know the truth. Please, Mishima."
Mishima looked away. His back was flush against the far wall. He shook. "It is. It is my fault." Slowly, the boy crumpled in on himself, knees in towards his chest, covering his face as another shudder tore through him. "He...someone saw her hanging out with you yesterday," Ren's throat constricted, "and he was...he was angry. Yelling and...and he told me to go get her. He told me to...so he..." A sob eclipsed his words. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"It wasn't you, dude." Ryuji let out a long, pained sigh. "I'm sorry for yelling and shit. It...it wasn't your fault, Ren's right. It's fucked, every part of this is fucked. Students shouldn't have to keep their own teachers honest, that shit ain't right."
Ren knelt down, and placed a hand on Mishima's shoulder. "Thank you," he said, his voice softer than it should have been, kinder than he was, gentler than he felt. "It's not your fault, okay? You shouldn't have dealt with this alone. None of you should have."
And Mishima sobbed into his hands, shaking like a leaf, curled into a ball in the empty locker room. Ren just kept his hand there, kept it as his thoughts spun and his heart undid itself. Mishima wasn't responsible. Ren wasn't responsible. But he knew damn well who was.
Thanks to 11syrups on Tumblr, whose fanart of Ann and Shiho I kept open in another tab while writing this chapter, and honestly kept me pretty damn sane despite the intensity of the content. It helped a lot to remember things would get better.
