So the dream had royally fucked her. Between the changing women and the disembodied voice she hadn't slept. In fact she had put Courage to shame with how much she avoided the mere concept of sleep. She didn't even try to make excuses she didn't just didn't have the brain power to pretend. So when she would start franticly reorganizing her room when eyes drooped or pace like a caged wild snow leopard when her limbs felt like lead she was honest enough with herself to understand that she was avoiding her fears. At first she could distract herself with books but the words started to blur on the second day and she just put them away.
Was it like her?
No.
Did she care?
Also no.
So she stayed up sometimes venturing out of room only to find herself in the kitchen making pancakes and dressing them up. Sometimes she made crepes but she would always find her way back to her room where she would obsessively start looking for her withered copy of Carrie.
She knew it was a lost cause. But that didn't stop her denial that she would find it. Here at school she could tell herself it was a goner with everything else she owned but she still tore apart her bedding, rearranged her closet and even took a box cutter to her old school bag with just a little hope it would be there.
For school she popped the Paxil and Zoloft she had been trying to avoid. Coffee was her second crutch.
The first day she was fine, slightly sleep deprived but a large coffee set her back on track. The second day she admitted it was a bit straining and she had fallen asleep in Allison's palm before first period while she explained that she was going to Lydia's party with her brown eyed Prince Charming. But she had three things of coffee before leaving and an energy drink that bubbled uncomfortably in her stomach before lunch.
The third day was absolute agony, her own personal hell as the thing her mother had told her was coming did come. Settled in the Martin drive way was her father beat up, banged to hell 1991 Honda Civic. Had she been more in the right mindset she would of done more then just stare at it stupidly before school but she didnt have it in her. She had brushed it off with more ease then she thought she would ever be allowed. Now she was trudging down the hall to locker 304 coffee pot clenched tightly in her fist. She had to put plastic wrap over the top and stuffed it in her bag but in the end she was successful as Lydia never found out.
Her hair was in a tight high pony that Lydia insisted gave her face a much needed lift to her very dead features. Her cloak sat around her shoulders like a polar bear warm and fuzzy.
She wished it would mual her too like a polar bear. Put her out of her misery.
She stumbled slightly on the god forsaken heels that Lydia decided was fit for a sleep deprived 16 year old whose vision was blurred more than not. She felt taller but was it worth it.
No.
"Woah. Hey Rory, I'm standing here." Allison laughed a bit as her smaller body collided with the taller girl.
"Sorry I was just." Thinking about Lydia and the heels and her own personal misery.
She hadn't noticed the words died on her lips at some point until she looked at the girl's confused face. There was a wrinkle in between her brows and thinned into a small perplexed smile. She was still blissfully unaware of the tragic backstory of Rory Lovette so Rory had only let her know that she was a raging insomniac since the move, a semi true statement but it had never been this bad.
"Let's just get you to class okay." She said in a sweet tone with a bit of a laugh. That laugh mocked her with her blurred slowly blacking spotted vision she didnt feel lie she was talking to Allsion.
Son of a bitch. She took another gulp of her coffee savoring the peppermint luke warm liquid joy that might as well have been the only serotonin she was able to make herself.
"Can't I skip. There's this-" she paused at the pathic sound of her own dragging slurring voice gruff and whiny at the same time. "I found a nook in the library I can sleep in there. The teachers would be happy." she felt herself smile at the idea god how long had it been since she had completely pissed someone off. The petty back and forth between her and Lydia didn't count and neither did Jackson his fuse as too short. Harrison had gotten pretty angry but skipping his class would probably cause a sigh of annoyance paired with a relief.
"Don't say that." She smile good heartedly.
"Whatever Ariel." In her mind the name didn't register and she failed to catch the way the taller girl paused for a second with genuine confusion, a look that stayed on her face as they made their way to English.
She had the spout of the coffee pot pressed to her lips and she drank it like it was her only life source. Her feet wobbled almost drunkenly on her heels pairing that with her lazy giddyness and air headlight fogged brain she wondered if she was drunk.
Allison kept a guiding hand on her shoulder slightly pushing her forward but even she couldn't save her from the painful sharp sting as her hip hit the corner of a desk. She sucked in breath between her teeth, her hand going for her right..(or was it left?) hip.
"Right where the stars are." She muttered with a small giggle her hand swept over the place where she had branded herself with a hot poker.
"Can i do just a few more Bunny? I want to make a picture like I do with your freckles!" She remembered the small string of sering heat as she pressed poked and prodded in a place mommy and daddy wouldn't bother to check again. She had already gone to the hospital for the one the others were smaller. She had poked the shape Ariel had wanted; she hadn't made an actual shape, just a bunch of dots that Ariel could play around with.
Allsion had muttered some incoherent apology to the owner of the desk before moving her forward and depositing her into her desk safely. Her head bobbed her cheek resting on her cheek as her eyes drooped giving her the look she had always wanted naturally. The only good thing to come out of this horror. The teacher droned on about Greggor and his journey and she forced her eyes open through the whole time the coffee drained slowly.
Her day passed the way a slug would slow and sleepy a dazed blur where she was either escorted to class by Allison or she was forced to make it there herself. This was one of those times her shoulders bumped against the cool grey lockers as she trudged forward. Her body sagged for a moment and she didn't notice until the final bell screamed her awake that she had blacked out.
Just one more class. Even her thoughts slurred as she thought of the dim lit nook in the library and for a moment it was in front of her and she wanted to drop to the floor.
She had made it to Harrions class at some point her heavy limbs opened the door and her ear caught static that she thought briefly ws him speaking to her. Her hand flapped at him weakly as an attempt to wave off what was probably another detention before using it to guide her to seat.
A hand caught her wrist and suddenly she was awake and she stared into the face of one Jackson Whittmore and she even in her hallucinative state couldn't help herself. Her hand rolled out of his grip and touched his face. "You're the scariest nightmare yet." Her voice cracked as she heaved a jerky giggle. Her body shook at the hysteria feeling like crying as the muscles in her face moved to support her shit eating grin and unhinged laughter.
She could hear her own wheezing as her heavy chest heaved and tears filled her eyes snapping her out of whatever fit she was going through. "Seriously, I do not want to handle this." Jackson's deep voice boomed too loud in her ears as he took her shoulder gilding roughly to the seat beside him.
"How long has it been since you've slept?" Her head lolled, coming to rest on her outstretched arm.
"Three days." The humor had bleed from her voice leaving only a groaning croaky sound. Her head hurt and the headache made her want pills. Her eyes flickered down to the floor where her bag was missing her eyes flickered again and she found both hands.. shoulders empty.
"Can you not fall asleep? It's a paired project for two people so wake up." Jackson hissed his eyes shifting around as he leaned in closer for intimidation? Maybe Rory really wasn't sure.
"Tomorrow." She wasn't even sure if she said it the word floated lingering before drifting away and she was pretty decently sure it had left her mouth.
"Hey uh Rory." The voice came with a tap, tap tap on her shoulder and her eyes that had blissfully closed snapped open and she was no longer in the dull little classroom with the green chalkboard but in those damn woods the ones that she couldn't even look at the one where that woman lived the one that haunted her, hunted her. The usual fear though was absent instead that feeling of warmth soothing her, luring her.
Her head swiveled expecting the tap tap tapper to be standing surrounded by the same thicket of trees she was but instead she was greeted by those brown soft eyes widening in surprise as they looked at her aghast.
She blinked slowly attempting to recognize where the hell she was, asshole Harrisons chem class next to an annoyed Jackson. Or not her eyes darted back to Scott her hand floating to the empty space beside her just to make sure. He must have asked for a new partner and of course the professor had obliged him and now she sat at an empty desk with an equally empty worksheet in front of her.
"The teacher said if you don't have any answers by the bell your getting another detention, here." He pushed his paper forward like it was a sign of good faith. "You can copy off us , we're almost done." She could see why a sweet girl like Allsion would go after someone like Scott. He was equally as caring, that was good for him.
His pale friend scoffed his head, his eyes not leaving the textbook. "I'm almost done, you've just been copying my work." His pen moved too quickly as he wrote down what seemed like the final answer from the 'and done' coupled with the triumphant smile that grew on his face.
"Yeah here just jot a couple down a few is better than none right." Scott offered kindly and maybe bashfully as he grabbed up his friend's paper and handed it to her, gaining him a betrayed gaping look. "Dude!" her hand reached out and she took it slowly suspiciously.
"Do you think you can look after her? She hasn't been getting any sleep lately. I'm really worried. She didn't even grab her bag in speech." Ariel.. No… who?.. Allison.. yeah Allison asked in a worried hushed voice. "Yeah of course."
"Why are you helping me?" she asked suddenly the newly acquired cheat sheet wrinkling slightly under her grip a consequence of closed hands attempting to flex.
"I just didn't want you getting another detention, that's all." His eyes shifted but besides that there was no other indication of pity… she still felt it though.
Victim. Wounded bunny… scaredy cat.. Pathetic…
She couldn't even sleep properly without the sight of a single tree jotting her awake.
"Thanks but I'm good." Her hand moved and she set the paper back down, turning in her seat before she could really think of her mistake. She scanned the words on her own page.
They were moving on the page, words clashing together, sentences were blurs of black font before turning into dots and dashes.
Yep this was going to be another detention Lydia was going to kill her. She wasn't even trying to get out of lacrosse practice at this point; she would rather be there bearing witness to Finstock borderline harassing his players. Her head dropped into pale waiting hands as she pushed her hair back.
Welp she was so screwed.
A presence had decided to take up the spot beside her or at least she hoped it did because if not the paper was actively running away from her.
"Mr. Skiliski, what are you doing?" Mr. Harrison asked from somewhere off in the distance.. places she decided that her brain didn't bother to detect.
"Not really sure sir." he answered honestly first and with a cough as he started with his excuse. "Well I'm already done so I was gonna help her since she's kinda out of it.' The 'she' in question looked up at him with narrowed eyes that bordered paranoia. Even he didn't seem all too confident with his answer.
"You mean give her the answers Mr. Skilinski?" Harrison should just drop dead at this point. There was a laugh behind her quickly covered by a couch and she didn't know if she said it out loud or not.
"No! No, of course she will be doing her part and I'm just here… to be her partner since she doesn't have one." there was a scoff somewhere in outer space but she ignored it.
"FIne but I want it all done. Every page before the end of the class. Just help her, don't give her the answer, is that clear?"
"Yeah crystle." There was a soft sound of scribbling and the paper slid back to her 'Stiles Stilinski 1-12-2011' written at the top of the paper, the first legible set of words she had read probably all day.
"You don't need to pity me, turn in your paper and go back to your seat." Pride was a ugly feeling once that she could slip over her like a second skin even in desperation.
"Oh my god just let me help you." He groaned back, his body twisting to grab his notebook and placing it in front of him.
"You suck at math, Ro, just let me help." her skin prickled at the voice and she felt herself slumping her head falling on her outstretched arm again.
"No no backup, come on." His hand patted at the blue fabric of her cloak trying to get a rise out of her. "You only have ten minutes to get this done or you're gonna get detention again come on." He didn't go farther than smacking her shoulder but it didn't annoy her as much as his sudden need to help her.
"I don't need your sympathy. I practically lived in detention at Pence." her constant defiance kicked her, reminding her that she could not miss this practice. Lydia had made her thinny veiled threats and then there was what she said this morning.
"I'll have to let my mom know sooner or later. I mean you broke your own phone to avoid them. I really don't know how they'll handle the fact that you've had detention everyday the first week back. You should fix that."
Damn it her head fell in her hands again before she looked back at her with her best listless gaze. "Fine, help me."
"Sorry, what was that?" he asked but he didn't properly take the role of someone who would act in that level of dickieness. "Help me make sure I don't get another detention and you won't have to see my public execution when Lydia has the entire Lacrosse team drag me to the stake."
He stared at her for a long moment blinking several times as he took in her words. She knew she had said it fine her mind was too busy fearing her second siren cousin to worry about how horribly tired she was.
"Not the entire lacrosse team." He muttered several minutes into the assignment. She would read a question and he would help her find the answer.
"Huh?" she asked, jotting down the words that she had to focus on to keep from blurring.
"I mean I wouldn't help them burn you alive." He wasn't looking at her either; she felt better knowing that eyes aren't boring into her skull as she tried to focus.
"Really? Even if the high queen herself demanded it? She quite convincing you know a real siren"
"What? No, of course not." His pale cheeks turned soft pink, his eyes shifting unconvincingly. "I mean I personally wouldn't want to see you tied to a stake burning, that would be disturbingly on so many levels it'd probably smell terrible, your skin sizzling and melting off.. I'll shut up."
"No, do go on. More romantic lines have never been spoken." She quipped, grasping his bicep watching as his eyes darted from her hands to her face. "No honestly Jane Austen is absolutely shaking, does your Shakespearean love language cause all the fair maidens to fall at your feet." His wide eyes narrowed before he rolled his eyes.
No longer entertained she let go of him flipping open the packet she pointed at the first question indicating motioning for them to start. That bacame the game she would point and he would go to the right page then shed played where's Waldo with the answer.
Finally after several minutes he made a sound a combination between a laugh and snort. "Were you serious.. You weren't being serious right?" He was trying to be sly with the question slipping it in almost casually but if he was trying to be casual a mindless question he would have flipped the page after the first jab at the question.
"I'm genuinely surprised I thought sarcasm could recognize its own."
"Yeah i was just wondering, oh here." he finally flipped the page, his foot that actually touched the ground bounced constantly her hand dropped the pen to tap at his thigh a silent stop before i stab.
He stopped for a second shooting her a confused furrowed brow look but the bouncing stopped…for about a minute before it was moving again drawing her attention and sky rocking an anxiety she didn't know she had.
Dropping the pencil again her hand reached out giving an extra tap this time she eyed him and met her gaze giving her a look that asked a question.
'What?' She conveyed her own words through pursed lips, a head shake and slightly widened eyes that glanced down at the pencil setting on her work.
'Stop or I will stab.' Whether he understood the silent threat or not his leg stopped and she went back to the question in the packet.
Ready for the next question she pointed at it with her pencil when the bouncing caught her eye again this time faster. The heel of his shoe didn't even touch the ground anymore allowing his leg to bounce freely.
He was trying to annoy her.
Her hand came down on his knee holding it still while simultaneously fixing the features of her face to show her annoyance. "There like two minutes of class left and you still have three more questions." He explained dramatically signaling at the clock that rested above the chalkboard.
"Well bouncing your fucking knee isn't helping me focus any." Sucking in from between her teeth her hand tighten on his knee her nails pressed into the denim. No movement stop moving.
"Hey you don't have to cuss me out, I'm helping you remember besides my nervous tic isn't doing anything to you."
"It's distracting."
"One minute now!" His eyes flicked back to the clock as the knee under her hand started to move again.
"Just turn to the right page. I've got this." Shit shit shit did she have this? The last three answers had to be written out with actual words she had to write out legible sentences.
She wasn't sure she was capable, she pushed that down as he did as told, flipping the pages three times before they landed on the right one. Her eyes searched the page, her hand gripping tighter now using the pencil as its victim. She hoped her stress didn't show and not holding it like that was deemed normal and not like she was holding it to dear life like it was the fleece lining of her cloak.
But of course he wouldn't know she did that the only person she could guess even remotely knew was Lydia who had seen her kneed at it like a cat from time to time.
There was one question left and he was basically a slinky tumbling down a flight of stairs. All he had to do was flip to the right page but he was moving constantly now fidgeting, rubbing his hands together, wiping his mouth, rubbing his nose and his freaking leg bouncing again more rapidly now and she resisted the urge to stop the movement. For about a second.
"Stop just stop please I can't focus on the words with you acting like you're on whatever Finstocks add to his coffee."
"I can't help it, there's less than 30 seconds." Her eyes rolled harshly, the cloak around her shoulder felt hot and stuffy but she didn't have time to fan herself.
She tried focusing back on the word but found that as an ultimate failure. "What is it? Why are you slowing down?'' He asked quickly less confused and more urgent. Rory could only huff a sigh and try to focusing on the sentence In front of her pencil trying to write what her brain was spewing out as the answer.
Pale spider-like fingers slid into few and the paper was thrusted out from under her pencil. Looking up she burned holes into his head as he quickly jotted down the final answer, getting the last word right as the bell rang, sliding it back to her before the teacher's head shot up.
Harrison moved from his chair and made a war path to stand in front of her and she was reminded how freaking tired she was. Her hand dropped the pencil, her dark eyes still drilling into his temple as he twisted, giving his puppy eyed friend a quick thumbs up.
"What?" He asked, finally turning back to her, her glare still digging into his skin.
"I didn't need you to do that." If pride wasn't her deadly sin she might have thanked him. She probably should have thanked him but she couldn't bring herself to throw the word up.
"Your words were floating off to outer freaking space okay that gave me more anxiety than the time limit." His flare for drama seemed to be ingrained in his very genetic makeup as his hands moved to emphasize his word.
She had hardly heard the begrudging words Harison spit out reluctantly; it hardly registered vaguely. The adrenaline rush had begun to fade as she stumbled out of the class. The library was on the other side of the school away from the cafeteria and the distance from siren cousins motivated her as much as the thought of sleep. Oh yes she was going to sleep because the woods and the women that haunted her be damned.
The shelves came into view as she pushed open the door, her strength dramatically plummeting with each step. By the time she got the section in the back she was hardly taking the mythology books that led her to finding the nook in the first place. Her back hit the bookcase and bumped each shelf on her descent.
Without her bag she didn't have a pillow but her eyes were already shut by the time she hit the floor and she was met with a lovely darkness that she could only pray for no days.
"Enhanced sight, smell, enhanced stamina, faster reflexes,...yellow eyes" the words were spoken mindlessly coming from a distance she cringed away from the voice that was bringing her back into her conscious mind.. She hadnt had a break from her conscious mind for so long the breathy grunt that followed the voice was surly from her body.
Her head lifted from the shelf, it had fallen back while she was asleep. She could see a tall figure who was slightly bending their body moving with the line of books.
"Hmm...Sounds like a Werewolf?" Her voice was dreamy as it grasped for sleep like a blanket being pulled away in the night.
Like his father the pale jumpy teen was tall and could possibly be taken as a looming figure to a girl who had just woken up on the floor. It could have been a great shot for a horror film but then again she doubted he'd make a good villain and his reaction only solidified the thought.
"O-oh my god." The body moved like a water snake toy being focused to stand as he turned with jerky movement, his hand coming to his chest. He had turned in one very quick flight or flight response, honey eyes widening down at her and embarrassment quickly overtook fear as his hand covered his mouth, his eyes fleeting to the side before looking back at her with narrowed eyes, his hands finding his hips as he stood taller, his chin jutting out.
"You know you could have...I mean why the hell are you just.. d-did you say werewolf?" The topics seemed to move faster in his head as he left sentences abandoned hanging in the air with no rhyme or reason finally landing on the final question one that she would actually be willing to answer.
"Enhanced agility adding in the sight smell and Tastes well that can go for any supernatural shifter but the yellow eyes set it apart. Are the pupils slits or round and dilated?" She drawled, propping her elbow on a shelf and capturing her cheek as a yawn forced its way up her throat.
"Round and dilated mostly." He answered automatically, nodding his head while somehow keeping it inclined to the floor.
"Then yeah, most likely a werewolf. Yellow eyes only represent a beta that hasn't killed anyone though so as long as they're not red you should be fine. My advice if you want to be sure get them in a low lit room or even a street with passing cars will do. There will be a reflection in their eyes just like any other animal. Just stay inconspicuous about it any werewolf worth their salt will see through that. " The words came out dazed her head lolling back and forth. But she wasn't bullshitting him either her grandfather had taught her that even the street light trick she was as smal asl 4 year old sitting on his fluffy rug enthralled with his story.
"And you learned that how?" Her lips drooped and she could see the book in her grandfather's hands as he put Lycanthropy and Historics in the middle of his shelf laughing light heartedly while Ariel chanted 'Thumbelina'.
"I learned that by experience. If they won't show you if their yellow, blue or red take them to low light Aura my dear. If their eyes light up like a wolf to a lantern then you know what you have on your hands. But be careful they can tell when you're lying. Any shifter worth their salt can." Once the boom was stored away he turned to her sister a large smile taking his whole goofy face before he joined her in her chant.
"Thumbelina Thumbelina Thumbelina." The warm glow of the old man's study faded. The thick arms that pumped in the air in a silly display for Areils enjoyment were replaced with sagging fabric striped grey jacket of the spaz in front of her.
"My grandfather dabbled in the supernatural." She paused for a moment, drying out her groggy voice. "and by that I mean he wrote at least 20 journals that range from sirens to Eros to of course werewolf's. What were you looking for anyway." Her mind had finally caught up to the fact that he did not in fact walk in muttering 'Lycanthropy' he was just talking about the symptoms.
"I'm makeing a player in a game and I want to learn as much as I can." turning he scanned the shelves.
"Oh what game?"
"Do you play DD?"
"No?"
"Then DD"
"Yeah okay that's not shady at all." They fell into a silence as her mind filtered and moved. "If you're looking for a good Lycanthropy book this is a really shitty place to find it."
He was holding a thin copy of a stark red book that she guessed was probably 'A Lycanthropy Reader' and she could hear it snap shut in frustration she should probably thank him.. Eventually. People didn't like when you didn't show the proper appreciation for the time they took out for you.
"Then what do you suggest?" He asked, puffing out a sigh. "I'll bring you my grandfather's journals. It's all got all the Lycanthropy lore you could ever ask for. I should know they were my bed time stories."
"Bedtime stories?" he asked, turning to face her again.
"Don't let the term fool you, it's brutal stuff. He's always written them like they were facts. I'm sure you'll find something to help develop your 'character." She shrugged as she forced her feet up leaning against the bookcase. "Sound good, think we can call it even."
"Even?"
"You do me a favor, I do you favor. Think of it as a thank you and a sorry cause apparently I'm an emotionally unstable insomniac."
"I didn't see much of a difference between you crashing into my desk and laughing in Jackson's face like a nutcase. You seemed pretty normal today."
"Thanks that what every girl dreams of hearing oh what a way with words you have Stilinski." her dryness didn't seem to affect him in fact he smiled nodding his head like he was about to agree.
"You don't have to call me that i have a name you know that right?"
"I know you have a name." She dropped the sentence there, not willing to go deeper into confessions of her pettiness being as layered as Dante's circles of hell was not something she was willing to do at the moment. "So do you have a deal you'll put down twilight and borrow my grandfather's journal?"
"Hey I would not have picked up twilight." He snapped with no real heat to it. "But yeah that's great but can I get it before Friday?"
"This Friday as in the full moon Friday? What Stilinski you got a werewolf on your hands or something or maybe." she mocked a gasp. "Or maybe maybe you're the werewolf? You know if you are I can help. I've done some pretty intense studying of the supernatural."
"Ha very funny i just want to learn about it and get it back to you as soon as possible." he scratched the back of his neck again he had a lot of ticks and habits he was a jumpy scrawny thing.
"Well i was just thinking about giving it to you when you go to the party on friday." suddenly his eyes darted to the side, his lips scrunched up into a line. "I mean Scotts going and he's your..I assumed.. You are going right?"
"I mean I wasn't .. But i mean it's not that big of a deal i just you know it's pretty busy so my invite might have just got lost in the mail." He was joking using humor to quell the sting of not getting an invite to the big new semester party.
"You werent invited so what that makes you think you can't come? Do you need me to sneak you in or something you know? I happen to know all the secret ins and outs of the place I could get you in. How good are you at parkour though?"
"I mean I can try but pro-probably not that great." He blinked at her as he stuttered. "Guess ill just have to let you through the garage door that's probably easier." he nodded.
"You can give the book back whenever you want." she smiled peeling off the shelve and taking a couple steps closer a cryptic smile taking her feature completely ignoring she hardly came up to the height of his chin she looked up at him with enough confidence that he seemed to ignore that little fact as well "But do not in anyway harm that book or i will skin you. Take your skin right off your body."
He nodded limply, his head bobbing up and down telling her that he understood.
"Good I will get it to you tomorrow then."
The bell rang and she moved to leave for refreshed then she had felt in days she would get a good night's sleep today.
"So are we gonna talk about how the apparent nobody dominated the field?"
"I mean, is this why Jacksons been more broody lately?"
"I mean I think I kind of get it this time Scotts not even first line and he's absolutely violating the guys actually on the team. It's kind of sad really. I thought Finstock was gonna do a cartwheel or something when he stole the ball from Greenburge."
Her one sided conversation was going absolutely nowhere. Her cousin's hand didn't even tighten on the wheel as she stared straight ahead at the road actively ignoring everything Rory was saying.They were sitting in Lydia's beetle, the coffee pot looming in the back seat like a death omen. She hadn't cared much about Lydia's reaction this morning.. she wasn't sure she thought much of anything this morning.. But when Lydia was waiting for her after Economics like a vulture would wait for its prey to die, she guessed she was royally screwed.
They hadn't said a word to each other, they just walked to the field and sat together. Lydia made it a point to her to talk to each member of her clique, even talking through her like she wasn't there. She had made her point she was pissed and it was Rory's fault.
Her lips pursed as she nodded her head. So this is how it was going to be the silent treatment for what brings a pot of coffee to school.
"Okay so this is ridiculous, you know what stop the car!" This invoked a response, wide eyes turned to her in confusion.
"What?"
"Stop the car if you won't even acknowledge that I'm trying to make conversation then stop the car so i can get out."
"Well would you look at that Aurora's doing what she does best. Ignoring and deflecting"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She snapped instantly bristling more suddenly then she had expected. "Im the one trying to talk to you but you have do some stupid power play. What's wrong Lyds can't stand the fact that the heel you force down on my throat isn't forcing me into submission." she looked her through narrowed eyes almost becoming more pissed at the way her green eyes widened like she was shocked at her outburst her lips thinned judging her for being so emotional.
Didnt she start this? All over a stupid coffee pot it wasnt like she was allowed to stay home. What would Rory have done anyway paced around her room like an animal in a cage. Tearing the house apart for a copy of Carrie she knew she wasn't going to find cook pancakes but not being able to bring herself to eat them. Get in trouble for feeding them to prada. Shit shit shit.
"I would just like to know how you got so good at denial. You're not even willing to face the issue. Did it ever occur to you that maybe i'm not even mad at you."
"Oh come on Lydia of course your mad." She hissed her back hitting the chair with a thump as the words sprang out in their general fashion with little thought in what she was saying. "You're mad I brought the coffee pot to school. Your mad people think i'm weird because i drank directly from it. You're mad I can't fit into the mold you picked out for me. You're mad I came into your damn perfect little life does that just about cover it." Heat bubbled in her stomach and she felt the dull pang that she was being unreasonable. That she should stop and count her lucky stars she was sleeping under the roof of a family member and not the cold overly sanitized roof of a hospital.
Thankful that she got clothes despite losing everything in the fire, a laptop and a phone she purposely broke to avoid her problems. Her own room, her own bathroom. The heat churned almost painfully as she waited for the shoe to drop. For Lydia to speak but there was only an angry huff. The feeling dispersed into her blood as she realized it was her own and it hardens like cement. Why should she feel crazy for being mad? She was the one who was in trouble for not following the steps of a dance she was forced into.
"I'm not going to give you sympathy Aurora. You said you didn't want it so don't throw out that move." Dark eyes rolled, her fingers popped as they flexed.
"I wasn't asking for sympathy. I didn't even elude to it. I guess where we have found where I learned the accent art of deflection. Maybe it runs through our veins or maybe you just rubbed off and I learned unhealthy coping mechanisms in the small time that I knew you. Or are you the genius right now i really cant tell are you gonna give that stupid little giggle and promise you just ran across the definition of deflecting just so randomly. Isn't that your favorite excuse right?"
"I'm not talking about this with you.?" Her voice was that perfect patronizing haught Lydia Martin tone the one that made you feel like you were just a bit crazy or like you were the dumbass who didnt know what the fuck you were talking about.
"Oh what about my detentions then let's bring that up since you seemed to find pleasure in throwing that in my face this morning."
"My mom knows about the detentions. The school called her. They were worried about your mental wellbeing but you would know that if you didn't throw your phone out your window. She's been trying to get me to convince you to go back to Goodman. I've held back because I respected your decision but you're only getting worse. The outburst the other night you don't think I haven't noticed your lights on all night. Or how you pace for hours, you're tearing your room apart and putting it back together you're becoming mentally unstable and you're ignoring it."
Rory didn't comment her mouth clamped shut when she would be running it. Her mind worked to make counter arguments. She had a nightmare that didn't even relate to what happened to her in December. She needed a distraction because she was scared..no she just didn't want to sleep when her dreams sucked. She didn't even like Goodman anyway why the hell would she trust him with anything he was a gossip.. yeah he was a gossip he didn't give a damn about patient confidentiality. Her mouth opened so she could say that use that as her defense but no words came out.
"You broke your phone by throwing it out of your window, you're a social recluse and when you do talk to people you actively say crude things for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of people. The only person I see you act like a decent human being with is Allsion and we both know who she looks like Aurora."
"I would do all of that anyway!" She snapped, not willing to hear someone say her name who didn't even get a chance to meet her. "This isn't some trauma response, that's just how I am. I've always been like that. Stop trying to dissect me Lydia stop trying to look for something thats not there this is just who the hell I am if you don't like it that's not on me."
"Hmm your mom actually said that you used to be a shy little kid. I wonder what happened."
Rory scoffed, finding the mere notion of her mother giving out details of her childhood funny. "If you're looking for a description of my character, my mother isn't the best place to find it. She was in Ohio when I took my first steps and she was in Maine when I had my first period. She was about as present in my life as the drunk aunt who only shows up for family events." She felt tired again for the first time since her nap. She felt exhausted but her body wouldn't let her put down her shield and sword. It told her to fight.
"You're getting worse and you refuse to acknowledge it." She said it like it was the main point of the conversation. Not the coffee pot not the embarrassment of having to deal with her cousins spastic behavior but the way that she was dealing with everything.
"I haven't cried have I? I haven't broken down and sobbed like a baby. I don't have panic attacks and I swear to god don't bring up Harrison's class that was one time and it was an act to stop him from being a dick." She had decided that was what it was. The little performance had worked in getting him to call her by her preferred last name. It wasn't a panic attack, it was a show, a power play where she used her resources.
"Don't you think your not being able to mourn properly is the problem? You don't even say her name, you don't talk about her. What you're experiencing is called Trauma denial and dissociation. I read into it after you came to stay with us. You match all the symptoms." The image flashed as she talked of a semi full parking lot and a large familiar building.
"You're taking me to Goodman?" The words burst out faster than her mind could regesters black eyes gluing into her cousin's temple. "That's fucking brutal and for what bringing a coffee pot to school staying up for a few days. I'm fine!"
"Why would you think that I'm." Her words were quick and surprised.
"You just turned down Courter street, you don't think I didn't memorize the way to the hospital. It's a small town, it only has one hospital" Wide eyed turned toward her slowly mimicking the car as a familiar ticking started up as Lydia switched the turn signal. Her head snapped and she could see the sign for Courter Street just a little ways ahead of them.
"Stop the car." Lydia's eyes moved back to the wheel, her hands tightened defiantly. "I didn't intervene in your business and now you don't sleep at night. You're going."
"The hell I am stop the fuckin car. Lydia I swear to god I will crash us into a tree, don't test me." She wouldn't, she knew she wouldn't but the threat tumbled out all the same.
"I'm not going back to that quack, he doesn't even know how to help me. I don't even need help." She added the last part quickly, not wanting to leave that loose thread she knew Lydia would pull on it trying to unravel every defense Rory's mind had set in place.
"Don't need help?" she scoffed the usual haughty crack coming to her voice." "At least now I can add delusional to your ever expanding list of problems. Have you even realized that I have been the one dressing you all week? That without my help you would have worn the same grey sweater and galaxy knee highs everyday. Or that I had to remind you to get out of the shower last night at 12 o'clock. Or that I had to brush your hair and throw it in a ponytail of all things because you don't bother to use the blow dryer I gave you. I had to remember your backpack and I would have probably had to do your homework just so you could get out of a detention in another class. All you've been needing lately is help so don't even go there with me." she was speaking quickly like she had been holding this in for a while like she had more and just couldn't get it out. That she was holding back so she could have moral high ground just like the morning the first day of school she didn't want to start that fight.
"Sleep deprivation does some crazy shit don't you think.'' She found herself drawling out her words rather than fighting back for once her mind had not been able to come up with an excuse she was willing to use.
"Okay." Her patronizing eyes looked back at her with a shade of green that Rory was starting to find increasingly annoying. "Tell me one thing about her."
"What?"
"Tell me one thing about her, your sister, you haven't spoken about her since you arrived. Your mother said she was your best friend but you never mention her. Not even once"
"W-what are you even talking about? I talk about her all the time… I.. I always think about her." The hysteria of her words trailed off slowly, her hands clasped desperately at the blue cloak that sat around her shoulders.
"Then tell me something about her." Her voice was testie not even hiding it behind an innocent question; her glossed lips were pressed in a puffy line rather than the triumphant smirk Rory had expected.
They sat in silence as memories tried to bubble to the surface. There was just so much to say she was talented, sweet , a great cheerleader with a huge friend group that loved her so much they were prepared to rearrange their entire schedule to see her even after she went to Waldorf. They had even gotten her presents on her birthday.
Glittery bags and wrapped gifts that ranged from hard to squishy. Some used Christmas wrapping paper while others were just a deep shade of seafoam green because that was her favorite color. Her arms suddenly felt weighted down the way they did as she collected each gift she could feel the thick cords from the bags start to indent into her skin as that day passed and they got heavier and heavier.
"So I didn't know she wouldn't be here. Do you mind taking this to Ariel?" The first large purple bag.
"Sorry to bother you but do you mind giving this to Ari?" A soft small gift.
"Don't tell her but it's that skirt we were looking at a couple weeks back." A medium sized bag with trapped that dug into her fingers painfully.
"Uh hey this is for ReeRee make sure it gets to her. Be careful with it please." A slender box with seafoam wrapping paper.
"Didn't know she wasn't gonna be here today that bitch. Here, here this is for her eyes only so put it at the bottom of the bag." A hard overly wrapped box.
"I heard we're just supposed to give you her gifts here. It's kind of heavy. I think I overdid it a bit." The biggest bag is seafoam green and a nightmare to carry around.
"I'm so sorry about that. I completely forgot to tell them I wasn't coming today. But Rors I got you something it's in your locker. I know it's not here yet but since you're doing that for me I want you to go ahead and open it. You'll love it I promise."
The memories bubbled boiling to the top as she was reminded of the hell she went through caring everything so carefully up the four flights of stairs to her apartment.
The word echoed as her hand rose feeling less and less heavy fingers brushed the silver pendant that kept her clock together.
"You'll love it I promise."
"Aurora!" The voice wasn't her sister or her friend but Lydia who was still waiting for her response. Just say one thing about her.
"How about just her name Aurora? Just say her name and we'll turn around and I'll take you home and you'll have a conversation with my mom about mental health and taking care of yourself. Just say her name."
"Ah Ms. Lovette it's so nice to see you again." Had he always had the voice of a stereotypical pleasant businessman? It made her think of Jack at the beginning of The Shining when he kept referring to his actions toward Ullman as 'PR'.
His eyes seemed focused on his papers, his pen the one she had seen him move and reposition when he was gossiping to Nat jotting down this and that.
"Sure." The brick leather couch was waiting for her empty and wide like she never left. "I mean it's not like I did everything I could to be unappealing to the point of straight up walking out on our session but yeah nice to see you too."
"So how was your first day of school?" The question was PR again tamed and nice but not invested. It was a complete 180 from her last two sessions. It might have given her whiplash if it didn't make her so damn happy. He was finally seeing there was no mental wall he could break through. That she wasn't going to open up with tears and sobs. That she was fine and he couldn't help her.
Her chest burned at the thought of having the shrink lose faith in her 'recovery' vibrating down to the very bone as the flame the Stilinskis had caused to die had reignited. Just two sessions and he had already given up. Maybe he talked to the staff and called her a lost cause. Maybe the necrophilia question she had hurled at him at the beginning of their first session had left an imprint.
"Well to be honest doc I really can't remember it." The first day was mostly fine making an enemy of Harrison falling head over heels for the cracked out energy of Finstock. Dodging Lydia and all her nosy friends and meeting Allsion. That was all there bright and vivid in her mind but as for the passing three days it was a blur.
The dream had royally screwed Lydia's 'just act normal' demands and started her all indulging networking scheme. So the next few days had been an uneventful blur of bullshit coffee obsessively reorganizing her room and pancakes.
"Right because you haven't been sleeping very well."
Dark eyes narrowed instantly at the causal way he threw it in there like he didn't care and it was just something he heard offhandedly. His eyes never left his paper that she was starting to see as a word search.
"Did Nat tell you that? Are you two just getting your kicks out of gossiping about my digressions?" His lips thins and she noticed that they were pale in fact his whole face was pale and grey she was sure he had been more full the last time she had seen him younger even.
"Your mother actually. Lovely lady, she says that you've been ignoring her. That you even broke your phone to get away from her." His voice moved from PR to disinterested and casual.
The flickering flame that was heating her chest took a dramatic last halting breath. Like a coward it snuffed itself out as quickly as it came leaving her chest a cold hollow cage. Her skin bristled at the goosebumps and her anger couldn't match the warm heat that had just died in her.
"So why haven't you been able to sleep?" He asked, crossing out a word across the page.
He was ignoring his blatant dismissal of patient confidentiality and digging for information. The fucking gale of the man what was he gonna do next start taking notes so he had a word for word break down to report to his higher ups.
"What were you and your mother talking about before you hung up on her?" He asked again after several minutes of silence.
"What she didn't tell you?" She snapped her legs uncrossing the heel of her boot hitting the wood harshly.
"I've come to find that differences in perspectives make a completely different story."
"Does this actually work? The whole pretending to be uninterested thing is it supposed to make people want you to care?" She asked after a couple breaths, her back hitting the red backing and her palm catching her cheek.
"Look doctor I don't care if you play sudoku or try to pry into my deepest darkest fears you get paid either way and I just solidify that I don't need this. I'm fine. There's nothing I need here."
"I've been working as a psychologist for 16 years Ms. Lovette. I'm fully aware that some people won't want to do a deep dive into why they are here. Some people don't think they need to be here at all. But some they just want someone to listen to them. They want to grief and cry
"I don't need to cry. I lived didn't I? I mean just being able to greif shows that I don't need to, she doesn't get to why should I." That was true her mind quickly started telling her that she got to and Ariel didn't so it didn't make sense for her to bother with grief.
"Why do you think that?" He asked curiosity, bleeding into his voice for the first time, his head rising from the page. "It's perfectly normal to grieve your loss. Your mother-"
'Isn't here. She's not here, she's across the country as usual but this time I got to get away. I ditched her." Her mother had been mentioned one too many times today. Rory liked it so much better when she was in a coma where she couldn't stick her nose into her business. She hadn't felt the need before. Why the hell does she find the need now.
"What about when she recovers? Have you thought about that? How your will life be when she comes back." He was being genuine dark eyes (not grey but blue) scanning her calmly.
"She won't."
"She won't?"
"No she won't, how many people do I have to explain this to. My mother will have to go through physical therapy for the rest of her life when she can even start to get out of bed again. She can hardly stand being sick for a day. She won't make it the rest of her life relying on others to help wiping her ass and feeding her. She's never been as strong as she wanted us to believe she was. She won't last." The words slipped off her tongue easily. She felt numb not even releasing that she had somehow written her mother off as dead.
"Why would you think she's not strong? She survived, don't you think that shows strength. She's trying to overcome the adversities that she faces now.
"Good for her."
"You're brave too. You know you were there with her."
"I survived." monotone and completely taken out of the conversation she thought of her mother. Didn't she almost miss Ariel's first pep rally because of a trip? Didn't she always bitch about the stories her grandfather would tell? Didn't she push Waldorf on Ariel using the inheritance left from their grandfather to pay for tuition the same money she was living off now to pay her medical bills? Didn't she send the old hunk of junk that the bastard refused to let her drive? She hadn't even been able to unpacked the shit show that was the battered old car that loomed in the drive.
"But that doesn't mean you're not allowed to grieve." She didn't like his soft and tenderness; she preferred the PR voice detached and uninterested. He was still talking so she tuned him out finding a book to narrow in on.
What would she do if her mother did come back? She wouldn't be able to do anything that wasn't in the confines of a bed where she could be monitored and taken care of. She wouldt be able to run off whenever things got too complicated. She would be stuck there miserable and in constant need of care. She wouldn't be so patronizing from her hospital bed drugged up on morphine just to ease the constant pain. She would be forced to be there for whatever milestones Rory had left.
"I hope to see you next sunday."
She didn't answer back even though a sarcastic don't count on it sat at the tip of her tongue. To her the session was better than the last time but she didn't want to go back. After the talk about her mother she had more or less let the conversation die. She couldn't help but wonder how much trouble throwing her phone out was worth. Now that she really thought about it she didn't have a way to tell Lydia she was done or ask her to come pick her up. Sighing she made the same descent she did the last time half way hoping to irk the red haired nurse.
Night had fallen and she could see the coming darkness through the windows of the redances that left their doors open. It reminded her of her mother when she had woken up she had started screaming like a banshee as she came down from her pain meds. The door had been flooded with running nurses and doctors who hadn't expected such an intense reaction. The screams still echoed so loud it gave her a headache for hours that she was begging them to sedate her.
"You again? What have I told you!" the hand took her shoulder before she could slap it away.
The image of green flickered before taking over completely a field of dying grass and wilted daisies. It was like she was looking down from a hot air balloon. A safe distance from where the fire started. Lighting like the spark in her chest would hot and high abruptly starting from the center and spreading quickly it bent and swirled until it branded a fiery warpath in the shape of a spiral. The sound came in a familiar nasty growling clap of lighting and she watched the fire crackle and pop until the white and grey walls came back into focus.
"You're gonna get me sent to Echan house, get your hands off me." Hissing she moved away from the women like she was the fire that was very clearly right in front of her face.
"Look, I'm leaving, lady just keep your hands to yourself." weak It was a weak reaction. But she didn't have it in her as she forced another thing down far away from her.
"I'm sorry." The voice echoed again and again haunting her.
Rory had woken up to the words she heard when she dressed herself when she grabbed her bag when she shot a glare at the god forsaken car. Every action was met with an apology. She had gotten to the point of ignoring it after all the disembodied voice of her mothers desperate voice wasn't exactly a topic of conversation she was willing to have with Lydia while she was trying to prove she was doing better. That she was normal, that she was fine.
"Im so sorry baby you'll understand that this is better."
Rolling her eyes she slid into her seat Allsion twisted turning back to her to continue the conversation. "It's just so weird. I mean we haven't talked much since two days ago when I gave him his shirt back." Biting down on her lip her eyes darted back to look at the boy that had steamed rolled into the stereotypical role of love interest.
"Well in all fairness you've been taking care of me for the past few days?" Her teeth found the end of her pinky gnawing on it mindlessly as she pushed down the embarrassment of having to babysit.
"I talked to him a bit about that. Sorry I was just worried but other than that I'm worried what if he changed his mind about the party tomorrow." there was a flinch as the boy moved uncomfortably in his seat shifting and squirming and she was suddenly reminded that he had a fucking indention in his side.
"I'm sure he does but if you're so worried just ask him." her eyes shifted uncomfortably glancing back at him before shaking her head of curls. "What no, I mean do you think I should?"
It was times like this that she was very un Ariel-like. Any uncertainty Ariel experienced in herself was few and far between. With Allison she was usually pretty confident but she had to establish that the confidence was earned before proceeding. Ariel never needed that precaution because it was a very true fact that she would bring exactly what was needed to the table in any given situation. That was good though Rory reasoned it made her a person, her own separate entity compared to her sister.
"I can ask him." She shrugged the offering and only got an eye roll in return.
"I'm sure you would."
"Well hey think of it this way if i ask he at least he won't piss himself with compelling attraction towards me." Her eyes rolled again at the bazaar statement but she smiled all the same, finding amusement in it.
"No, I'll do it. I think I need to establish that he wouldn't do that before going out with him."
"Smart."
"Rory pst Rory psst." A urgent hushed whisper came from the side, turning she was faced with a twisted Stilinski who was stretching over the restraining bar that connected the chair to the desk.
"Psst Stilinski pssshhtt." she mimicked getting a genuine eye roll.
"Did you bring it? The book?" He was making a rectangle with his hands and all she could offer was a blank stare and several blinks before she realized that between the scheming and Lydia's extensive outfit check she had completely forgotten her grandfather's journal.
"Shit." he seemed to deflate at the one word confirmation his shoulder closed in on him as his face dropped. "Sorry i can bring it tomorrow." His eyes widened, not agreeing with the idea of getting it the day later. "The full moons tomorrow night remember you'll be fine until then werewolf." His lips moved as he tried to cultivate a sentence but he ultimately didn't get a single word out.
"Tomorrow right you wont forget tomorrow in this class or better yet before school i can meet you when you get here right?" his words rushed out awkwardly.
"How would you know when I got here?" she asked, raising a brow and he gapped again. "Uh you could.. You could text me yeah uh here i could give you my number." her head fell into her hand as her pink went between her teeth.
"Slow down, I don't have a phone."
"You don't?"
"No i broke that's not the point ill get it to you tomorrow okay."
"Right okay, sure." He turned to face the front as the teacher looked up from her book. She motioned to the problems on the board, instructing them to copy them down and solve them and turn them in. it was one of the laziest assignments but lazy didn't equate to easy. The numbers with freaking letters should be illegal. She instantly hated herself for sleeping through this class for the last few days. She was completely lost and Danny was at the front of the class. If she had her phone she would send a pic to Lydia but she broke it.
Shit.
Her eyes examined the page ignoring the pencils as they scratched and tapped. There was a great divide in this world between those who are good at math and those that weren't. She was in the werent category and she hoped there wasn't a test anytime soon because while she could handle detentions and dirty looks but failing never sat right with her.
"Pst Rory." Stilinski's voice pipes up again. "How did you break your phone?"
"Threw it out a window." she didn't lift her head from the problems what why the hell were they doing quadratic formulas on here first week back.
"This is utter bull shit."
"You threw it out a window like you threw it, or dropped it?"
"I chunked it like was a hot potato." She answered moving the next problem 2x24x-7=0 fuck.
"Why?"
"Cause my mother." She hissed irritably though it was more at the work then the many questions.
"I'm sorry Aurora."
Ice. The arctic chill flooded over her body starting at the base of her fingers it lead up to her shoulders and then spreading over her chest and up her neck.
The red haired woman sobbed her hands grappling to the small bits of intact glass from the window, ignoring how it bit greedily into her flesh. She slowly turned herself revealing a set of black wide eyes, puffed up pouty lips despite still bigger than usual the month recovery. Without her makeup, each freckle that dotted her nose in clusters. Her red hair hung limply from the side that didn't need to be shaved.
"Lorriane what are you- don't." The voice was familiar but Rory couldn't place it at the moment as she watched, unable to take her eyes off her mother's small frame. Small under the hospital gown her feet bare as they back up
Her lip quivered and Rory had never seen her look so fragile. So small then her mouth opened and the sound that came out was piercing shattering the glass that was supporting her causing her to fall backwards.
Should she run?
She was the closest far closer than the other woman but she wasn't screaming like she was. She was just frozen both physically and metaphorically. There was a moment and the back of the women came into sight screaming her head off for a nurse for someone. She seemed so terrified. Rory's feet moved, dragging as they did she should help. She was there she should at least get someone. But she just kept taking steps forward as screams erupted from outside where the women went. He red haired women wasnt umong the chaos.
"I'm coming Ariel."
The numbers and letters came in sight again still bare still unfinished still unsolved.
She was going to check herself into echin house. The delusions they made since the past week schizophrenic delusions were common from sleep deprivation. The dreams were just wild but nothing to worry about but now it was happening in the middle of class with a decent amount of sleep.
What if she was turning into her father? The thought disturbed her more than anything to have his mental illness a direct link to him… if it was true she would need medicine just to numb him out. How many excuses would she be willing to make for herself before she was actually willing to face this. She wasn't sure. Mental episodes with acute paranoia
He was mostly normal throughout her childhood, sure she would never be able to forget when he went through his episodes but mostly normal was a good description.
His episodes would usually include hallucinations mumbling and murmuring all kinds of different things. Sometimes it was just about the future. But other times when his paranoia was bad he would lock himself away so he wouldn't scare Ariel and claw at his skin like something was inside of it. Usually it was a microchip he believed his father put in him to make sure he stayed 'in line'. She could still remember him crying into the phone begging his dad to take it out or at least tell him we're it was.
She had to call her grandfather once because he had told her that he had found it and it was in the back of his eye. He told her to get the melon baller, not the ice cream scoop. Grandpa had come right over and told her to go to her room while he handled it.
The bastard had wandered aimlessly around the house after that like a zombie with a black eye and a busted lip but he went to his psychopharmacologist and got on some new medication. After that she only had to witness a single episode before his big blow up would take place years later.
It was the one and only time their mother had ever had him admitted him into a psych ward; her mother had brought her grandfather over in the middle of the the time and the two helped each other drag him out of the apartment while Ariel and her were asleep. Back then she just assumed he was trying to take out his eyes again.
Back then she kept her mouth shut not bothering to ask them, preferring to just enjoy her stay
at her grandfathers enjoying the fact that she didn't have to call him to get her nightly stories.
Ariel had stayed blissfully ignorant either never being home or not realizing anything bad was going to happen. She had been the only one truly upset that he had missed their birthday and christmas but her sadness didn't last long. Their mother had been insistent on getting them a small present everyday until Christmas day. Rory didn't hear much about the bastard from anyone after that.
Looking back she could remember more clearly how he covered the windows with blankets a week before after he had gone Christmas shopping. Hee was screaming all the way out the door about 'traffickers' and 'shadow people' that were going to steal away the family's 'last hope'. Now Rory realized that he had been convinced that Ariel was 'the prophesied child' since they were as young as 8 years old.
The constellation of thoughts and memories of the bastard's worst moments made for a ugly one that she did not want to look at. Maybe she would go to Goodman after school and try to get tested. If it was genetic she would be able to nip it in the bud and a couple pills would allow her to forget about the link that would be created.
But God she didn't want that to be like him. She had always believed that it wasn't his disorder that led to him doing…what…he…did.
what.he.did
what he did.
The pressure rose from her frozen chest up past her throat and her stomach plummeted painfully, her hand shook violently and any scratching and tapping blurring into a straight harsh beep.
"Um Aurora?" The counselor stood at the doorway, her eyes shifting but that was the only sign. "Do you mind stepping out into the hall with me for a moment we need to talk to you."
The elongated beep was still ringing in her ears as she nodded, pulling herself out of her chair and moving on stiff limbs to the door. She noticed the way heads turned and Harley and that same blonde from the first day eyed her. Maybe if she remembered her name the narrowed eyes would have felt more impactful.
"Honey, would you like to come with us to the office and call your aunt? We just got off the phone with her. Something happened. It's about your mom." She could see the red haired women agin the one who shattered the glass and fell out of her own window.
Lorraine.
That was her mothers name. Named after her own mothers half sister that she never met. Lorraine had committed suicide she had broken the window using her heart monitor and now it lay under her body. Make that elongated beep sound that rang in her ears.
"Is that it?" she asked the inside of her body numbing. Running away from the ice running away from the heat running away from the pressure that built in her body.
See Aurora pretend. See her turn away from the door with the golden knob. See her run from the apartment with the bronze plate '415'.
See Aurora emotionally shut down with yet another blow.
See Aurora listen to the principal with his pleasant British accent try to tell her she could leave for the rest of the day after calling her aunt.
See Aurora ask with no emotion, ask if she could go back to class now.
See Aurora turn her heels, open the door and return to her desk.
See Aurora ignore the way people moved to returning to their own desks and away from the doors. Watch as she bends down and pulls a pouch from the back pocket of her bag, she thinks no one saw because she was discrete. It makes sense since when she pressed her hand to her mouth she was trying to stop a scream that wasn't coming. She would swallow and then her teeth would dig into the flesh of her palm.
…Nosy bastard….
"B-bunny you can't cry yet, you have to let me go first. That's how it goes cause I'm the oldest. I cry first and you take care of me and if you still feel like crying after i'll take care of you."
"Really?"
"Yeah that's just how it is, little sister take care of there big sisters daddy told me that."
"O-okay yeah go ahead and cry ill hold you and wipe away all your tears. Then ill cry and you do the same for me."
See Bunny wait… See Bunny wait for something that will never come.
Rory felt numb about it all. There was no emotional breakdown that wracked her body, no tears. She couldn't cry.. Ariel didn't get to mourn and she was the one who wanted her most. Why would she?
Yet her body was as active as the cat in the hat's cleaning machine.
"What do you girls want to listen to tonight?" Their mothers had been home that night running her fingers along Ariel's collection ignoring vast collection of Goosebumps and Grimm Fairy Tales on the lower shelf.
"Peter pan!"
"No, that's to long!" Ariel complained dramatically falling back into their shared bed.
"The cat in the hat!"
"That's too babyish! Where not babies anymore! Oh I know tell us how you met daddy!" She remembered how her mother stiffened but her face never fell.
"It's a boring story. It has a distinct lack of daring adventure, brave heroes and talking animals but you know what does have that the wicked Queen and the charmed heroine." Pulling out the book she didn't leave room for agument as she motioned for them to settle.
"In the land of faithlyn there ruled a villainous queen who ruled with cruelty like no other."
The words faded as her feet met the floor and she was gathering up her things and heading for the door before she even comprehended the teacher.
She walked a girl on a mission looking for her target of strawberry blonde hair who she knew was in AP biology.
The door slammed and she didn't even remember opening it much less the force the she used to make the teacher jump. His name completely left her as she approached him. "can I.. can I talk to my cousin please something happened… She uh she has a tampon and I just started."
"Don't actually put your foot in your mouth Aurora, it's a metaphor. Do you know what a metaphor is."
"The keys to the beetle give them to me." she bent her body down feeling slightly crazed as Lydia stared at her horrified by her excuse to come and bother her.
"What why?"
"Oh didn't you get the memo I thought your mom would have told you by now." she paused taking in what she was about to say playing a cryptic smile and a sarcastic tone that felt more painfully forced then anything else she could have mustered. "My moms dead so obviously I need to celebrate so keys now." Her hand florised in front of her body ready to take their offering.
"Wait your mom.." she trailed off, taking in the room before thinking better of whatever it was she wanted to say. Not here anyway where there were so many judgemental prying eyes.
"Dead as a doornail now keys you can put them here in my palm right there."
"Give me your crayons young lady.' Her mothers voice chastised as she stuck out her hand angry that she had been forced to come home for the parent teacher meeting because her youngest had been caught drawing 'inappropriate' words on a fellow students locker. "You can put them here in my palm right there."
"Um-" she made the sound that told Rory she was bordering on a no but the blonde was in no mood for a no.
"Either that or I walk home and when I eventually get there I will throw all your clothes out into the rain. It takes forever to dry most of its designer and isn't that fragil stuff to be exposed to the elements like that." underhanded and dirty she didn't feel like a good person and the glare she received showed a silent budding hatred. Rory decided to deal with another day.
There was a small jingle and her hand closed around a set of car keys and a fluff ball she had picked up for Lydia when they went 'back to school shopping'.
"Walk prada and its not going to rain today. So that bet that i will discuss with you later will end with you losing." The smile was sickly and venomous but it didn't deter her she would let the complete mess of her plans affect her later.
Driving wasn't hard, sure she missed a couple of stop signs, went 40 in a 15 and made the tires scream but all in all she was there at the Martin residence where she intended to go inside and let hot water strip the tacky grimy feeling that covered her skin. She would find something to dull the pain, a valium or just a heavy sleep drug and drift away. White room be damned.
Maybe her mother would be there arguing with the bastard and tearing at each others flesh and she would be left in peace. Grey eyed women be damned.
But then she passed it and her steps slowed.
The old hunk of junk loomed in the drive and now it seemed like a car possessed and she could see two people sitting in the passenger seat and two small children in the car seats behind them. As the ghost faded she caught sight of the blinding red that took up the back seat.
"Please you'll want what's inside i promise."
Her foot pivoted while the other stayed planted firmly towards the house.
"He was laughing at me, Bunny. I heard him laughing at me! I hate my name, I hate my hair, I'm not a fish!"
Young and tearful the voice floated to her as if it came from the door of the brick house beckoning her to come.
Her feet moved leaving the bright red mystery to its own device.
"Who said that? Was it Cesile?"
"Yeah it was Cesile." The little red head whimpered, her lips trembling as she shoved her head into her little sister's boney shoulder. "I just. I just wish he would feel how I feel. Maybe he would understand how much it hurts and stop doing it to other people."
She remembered it all so clearly she had found him later at recess and threw a basketball at his face. It made his nose swell up turning it a deep shade dark purple and from the ripe age of 7 he tasted the same bitter mockery of being made fun of for something you can't help. The other kids being the mean brutal little shits they were nicknamed him Blueberry Face and it stuck on him till he reached middle school.
The door shut behind her but she hardly thought of it as she made her way to the kitchen. The doors to the cabinet were left open as she set out the pancake mix, turned on the stove, rifled around for a pan and made her way to the fridge.
She looked for an empty squeeze bottle and felt confused when she couldn't find any. She was sure she left it in the fridge she always had before. All she could find was carmel, dark chocolate, peppermint, raspberry but no empty bottle.
She worked on autopilot as she took the caramel bottle, screwing off the top as she made her way to the sink becoming more confused when it wasnt to the right of the fridge but to the left.
Shaking her head she ignored it she poured out the caramel and only halfway through she thought that maybe it might cause a clog.
"Sorry about this Mrs. Clearly but you can yell at me later." Filling the water half way up she put only a bit of soap into the bottle before shaking it and squeezing it out.
Finally, she put the empty caramel bottle next to the mix and found a bowl. Shaking the box she was almost becoming frustrated at everything not being the way it was supposed to.
"Oh come the fuck on I asked dad to buy some more freaking days ago! This isn't even her brand." Groaning, she rolled her head back feeling both hot and cold. Her hands caught the clasp of her cloak as she threw it to the counter on the other side of the room.
"Whatever she'll just have to deal." Pouring the small amount of mix she had left into the bowl she hummed as she went for the spoon and funnel.
"Damn it!" She banged the drawer close to annoyed to be impressed at the sudden organization of the kitchen. "Okay, who moved the funnels?" After raiding the rest of the Drew's she found one but it wasn't the short dull cheap one she was used to.
Still it wasn't worth it. She was on a mission making the batter thin and close to watery. She poured it haphazardly through the funnel into the bottle and started with a heart for the design.
She continued this until making simple designs until the batter ran out and she was left with a stack of golden brown shapes of perfections. Smiling, she turned off the stove and placed the tack on the island, turning to find the syrup and placing it next to the stack.
"Ariel can you come out please I made you something." Her voice was a sing song not letting a tremor come through. She wasn't sad right now she was comforting.
She didn't know why she was sad but she knew Ariel would be. Something happened. Something that would devastate her sister.
"I made your favorite Ariel please." She picked up the plate, slightly shaking it as if Areil could see it through the oak wood of her door.
"Come on, it's like I haven't seen you in months please." She yelled, the plate in her hand trembling. "Let me help you come on, we have a routine." She paused her face controlling as pressure rose up her body starting at her chest the icy feeling in her hands made her want to drop the plate but refrained setting it down carefully.
"Stop giving me the silent treatment, I didn't do anything!" Her feet carried her forward away from the small cramped kitchen toward the lovinging room that led to her and her sisters room.
"Please come on, let's talk about this. I made you pancakes. I'm here for you. I just want you to talk to me. What happened? Why are you so upset? Is it Jordan again? Is she messing with you? You know I'm taking care of that."
Her frozen knuckles knocked against the door painfully but there was no response.
"I'll can just come in, you know. I'm tired of sleeping on the couch anyway I can just walk in Ariel it's not like there's a lock on the door." It was a bluff she wouldn't walk in; she would sleep on the couch for as long as Ariel needed her privacy; it was the least she could do. Let her sister grieve in peace until she was ready.
"I'll let you connect my freckles. Or we could dress up and go to a restaurant. We can go to the pet shop and you can look at all the cute animals. Maybe if you talk to dad he'll finally let you get a bunny." Her hand went flat against the door slowing with every word.
Ariel already had a bunny. She got it on her birthday… she made a big deal about it and sent her pictures and called Rory while was in school.
"Oh my god Rory, she's so cute! Dad said he thought it looked like you, and you know what she kinda does, she has this kinda blonde fur and these cute black beady eyes." Her sister had chirped at her like a bird over the phone. Rory could even feel her eyes rolling at the implication that her eyes were beady.
She had gushed about the little lop eared bunny nearly getting her phone confiscated during the exams. Ariel had been so excited she sent picture after picture of the bunny at all angles.
This left Rory confused. Why was Ariel was upset again? Why would she need her special pancakes and Rory sleeping on the couch if she had something that brought her so much joy.
"Ariel?" She gave the door a final thump before the ringing started. Her feet moved until she was right in front of it. Reaching out she picked it up expecting it to be their mother telling her that she couldn't make it for their birthday when something came up.
That would definitely be a reason Ariel was upset, maybe she found out while Rory was at school.
"Hello Rory? Hey Lydia told me you left school I'm glad you went home. Listen, I'm coming home tomorrow night and we're going to need to discuss a few things. I know this is going to be tough but all the arrangements have been made. Your mother did all the preparations for your sister… and… and herself." The voice on the other end was familiar with each word: the green cheap countertops turned thick marbled polished and expensive.
She was in the Martin's cottage manor.
She… she wasn't at home.
Ariel wasn't in the closet she was just banging on she wasn't going to eat the pancakes she had made.
"Rory.. Aurora, are you there? I know this is a lot sweetie we're going to need to talk when I get home. I know Lydia's having her party but I need you to stay up. I'll talk to her too. The funeral is going to happen as your mother scheduled it and I'll need you to be ready. I've been getting calls from the school and Dr. Goodman about your behavior and I'm worried about your mental health." The women.. Natalie..Nat just kept talking and talking on the other end and the more she talked the more came back to the blonde.
In her mind there was only the before the three hours and the after.
She was in the after.
Where she lived across the country in the small town of Beacon Hills. Where she was suddenly every cliche character in almost all fantasy YA novels. No parents tragic backstory and completely losing her mind.
The phone slowly left her ear as she looked at the glowing green picture of a phone turned upside down.
"Aurora… Aurora are you there? Do not hang up the phone. Do you hear me young lady." Fire sparked as she felt the beginning of what could be a lovely argument.
"Why do you think I was going to do that?" She asked, forcing baffled anger. Usually she would say she was being cheeky but this time she was actually attempting to sound disrespectful.
'Fight me. Get mad, argue with me. Hang up the phone, slam it down cause I'm pissing you off.' her brain bounced and her body vibrated at the thought. She itched to make the women angry to have her huffing and puffing and making threats.
"I've spent the last few weeks with your mother Aurora. She didn't have much else to talk about other than her daughters." The woman told her flatley and Rory's tongue swiped against her canines .
"Right cause she knew so much about me." Her craving for a fight only got harder, becoming a body wide ich she needed to scratch.
"Listen, I can't talk for long . I just wanted to let you know that I will be back tomorrow night. I have some last minute preparations so please just wait a little longer then we'll talk."
"Talk? I don't want to fucking talk." There was a distinct dull beeping and she relised her words hadn't reached her aunt on the hollow depths of the home's phone.
Her hand gripped the phone ready to chuck it when she thought better of it only banging it against the marble countertop before placing it back on its peg.
Taking a deep breath she turned to the plate of pancakes, the box and the empty caramel bottle. She couldn't penpoint how she felt about it, having a mental break that made her believe she was in her old apartment. She had gone into the routine she always did when Ariel became too upset to exit there room.
It made since.
Ariel couldnt greive the loss of their mother and she would have been more upset then Rory would of been so of course she had to do something to cheer her up.But now she had a stack of pancakes she knew she wouldn't be able to stomach and she was banned from feeding anymore to Prada.
In the end she turned away from the stack instead indulging in making a pot of coffee.
It felt wrong making herself something she enjoyed when her sister couldn't even enjoy her favorite meal.
She stared at the perfectly crafted cup with chocolate lacing the class and a pile of whip cream flavored with mint and irish cream. Her favorite coffee…
Her hands clasped the cup as she walked numbly out the front door and then she watched almost somewhere outside of her own body as the mug smashed into the windshield of her fathers old busted Honda Civic.
She stared at the spider web of cracks marveling at the beauty of the destruction. She needed more. She wanted to completely demolish the car. Shatter every window claw into the old worn seats and rip out the marker dotted ceiling.
Her feet trudged forward; there was a crowbar in the garage and an entire arsenal of gardening tools in the pool shed. She could use them all. She could just stay here all day finding ways to destroy the poor old car…
"Hey when i get my license ill be able to drive you around. We can go to that bakery on 8th street and just listen to music." Ariel was learning how to drive in this car. "Maybe by that point dad will realize how lame his car is and actually get you new one." Ariel smiled brilliantly at the thought.
"Yeah maybe but something would probably have to happen to the old piece of junk for him to get me a new one."
She never really understood why the bastard had offered to teach Ariel since they lived in the city where it was easier to walk or take a car then try to get your car on the road.
But he had and she was making memories there excited to learn something most of her friends didn't even think about. She had been diligent in her lesions only ever being late to one.
"Rors dad's giving me driving lessons in an hour. What's so Important?"
"Look i don't want any part of this i'm going to my driving lessons this is just taking things way too far i won't support this Aurora. If this is how you're going to defend me I might as well go to Waldorf."
Rory should have just let her go to her damn lesson. Maybe she wouldn't have solidified her choice to leave.
The red caught her eye again and her curiosity caught the better of her as she forced the door open looking in. Covering the seats where large rectangular suitcases and a single gym bag settled on top of the last case.
The contents of her stomach dropped and her legs felt weaker, almost painful to stand on and she forced herself into the car, her hand finding the tag of the second suitcase's zipper and forcing it open.
Soft fabrics of bright yellows and sequins hit her like a train, her hands dug into perfectly folded piles as she pulled out article after article of clothes. Acid washed pants, flowery summer dresses, plaid skirts and matching tops. Ariels Ariels Ariels all Ariels coated in her favorite perfume that was cracked at the bottom the contents already dried up into the fabric.
He felt her body jerky in movement as she went for the gym bag the grey and pink rabbit's foot hung from a clip on the side and her heart pounded as she read the name engraved in gold.
"Here, take this." she could hear her own voice echo as she clenched the fuzzy foot. The scene faded and she was in her living room watching her sister pace back and forth red hair bouncing in her pony tail.
"What if i don't get in. I mean my routine was perfect, right." Rory watched herself as she lounged lazily on the couch. She wanted to move and wanted to embrace the memory but she couldn't move frozen in a spot she couldn't understand she could only watch.
"Nah you'll be fine but if your really all that worried take this." her palm opened and she was presenting the foot to her sister who eyed it before jumping away in disgust.
"Rors not cool is that a real rabbit's foot." she hissed trying to get as far away from the little fluff as possible.
"It's not real like I would get you a real rabbit's foot, it's just for good luck." She could see herself rolling her eyes but she couldn't move from her spot despite not knowing where that was exactly.
"Just bring it to school tomorrow even if you don't get in which I doubt you still got a pretty cool gift." she shrugged it off at the time but Rory remembered the happiness she felt when she saw it displayed on her sister's gym bag as she even showed it off to the other cheerleaders.
All too soon the memory was gone and she was left with the gym bag. The slight bulge in the front pocket caught her attention before she could open it.
The phone was definitely Ariels with its carefully placed stickers and randomly placed consolation of rhinestones. She attempted to turn it on but was only met with the low battery imagine. Not a surprise seeing as Ariel never charged her phone.
.
Continuing on she ruffled through the bag finding something all too familiar, something that belonged to the blonde trembling girl. Her hands softened around her withered copy of Carrie, an array of colorful sticky notes poking out of random pages. Opening to the first bright pink notes she read the pretty handwriting of her sister.
'Chris reminds me way too much of Jordan. Who makes fun of a period anyway lame.' she was reading it.
'Why is this guy so focused on boobs?' she actually read it.
'If Sue feels so bad why doesn't she just take Carrie herself?' She added her thoughts and opinions on the chapters and character.
'Her mom seriously freaks me out wtf Rors. I never want to hear you complain about mom again when this woman exists.'
'So these guys just kill a bunch of pigs and no one questions their mental sanity I know I am.'
On and on it went she flipped through each brightly colored marker. Basking in the curly handwriting, her eyes grew heavier and heavier as the words filtered through her head in her sister's voice.
'This better make up for three years at least of bday gifts cause that was a lot plus the movie better tack on 4 more years. Plus Christmas Rors. Happy birthday. P.S you better be ecstatic about Letters to Juliet.'
The book closed in her hands and her body crumbled bringing the small paper back to her chest as her shoulders heaved rising and falling in a shaky rhythm. It was all here, all her things, all her valuables and she had been planning on finally watching Carrie with her as they waited for midnight to hit. She had even read the book. Her hands held it lightly, not daring to crush or crumble the colorful notes.
The bar was thin but weighty, a long thin piece of metal she had to settle on since she couldn't find the crowbar. Swinging it down she slammed down on the already abused spider web of glass making its impact clear in the cracks and lines.
She could hardly see her face in the glass now. Her pathetic red blotchy face and big wide eyes puffy pouty lips red disappearing from sight with every forced down crash into the windshield.
She knew how small and childlike she looked; she didn't want it reflected back at her. She hated her face for the sheer fact that it made her feel so broken.
Any love she ever harbored for her features had withered away to dust.
"You're pouting again, Rors."
"Make the face Bunny. I want you to show them. The funny one that makes you look like a baby bunny."
The face that made her look like a bunny.
Confused. Perplexed. Unsuspecting. Fragile.
It was once a trump card she had used on many of her teachers from elementary to middle school but they learned her games and adapted so she dropped it. It was the bored expression with its half lidded glazed over eyes and lips stuck in a thin line that she took to the best. It made her feel older, maybe not emotionally but physically. She didn't want to see those wide eyes that her sister teased and pressed at 'you just look like a deer in headlights Rors it's cute'. Those oversized lips 'pouty baby don't give me that look'.
Thwack.
That damn blonde hair that mimicked the bastard there mother was a redhead. 'I don't want to be Bubbles.' But Bunny you already are your already blonde and a baby it's perfect."
Bang!
Even her freckles that dotted her nose and cheeks suddenly felt like each small dot was punching through her skin. "I want to see If I can make a constellation in them. I'll wash it off. I promise I just want to see what I can make.'
Crunch!
"You can look so babyish Rors I guess that's why I'm older!'
Her throat burned as a primal scream reached her ears the weight of the bat swung, bashing against the windshield breaking it apart and fracturing the sections of reflected face. Her wrist stung as she brought the bar down again, readjusting her footage as her feet slid against the slippery top of the car.
"Fuck!" The word left her just as the bar had it's last at the glass before it burst from its place flying up and breaking free. She felt the small slices as some shards attacked her burning cheeks but she wasn't finished she didn't feel satisfied. She was rapidly firing hitting spots and places that seemed to put together.
Taking aim she pulled the bat back slowly bring it back up towards its target tapping it lightly to ensure she would get a perfect hit. Doing this two more times she didn't attempt to hold back on the fourth and she watched in distant burning despair as the rearview mirror cracked against the weight of the bat. The mirror shattered its reflective guts bursting out of its small frame.
She looked so pathetic and yet she kept a single tear from falling fighting them back she burnt them away with rage. Jumping off the hood she walked to the back of the car passing the busted driver and passenger window. Hoisting herself up she stood on the truck and excited herself through the last untouched window.
Her reflection hadn't changed the any but this blood trickled down from her temple and cheek bone.
'You don't have cheekbones, silly I do.'
The voice played in her head clearly frozen in time never to age or mature. Her sister, her beautiful 'bang' loving 'bang' caring 'bang' spoiled sister, was dead. She was gone and she would never be able to mourn. Tears refused to come; they had the nerve. The bat raised over her head, her circle finally rounding back to the windshield.
"She can't mourn for our mother!" She screamed forcing her bat down hitting the corner of the glass making a small round crack. "She can't even mourn for the bastard." She swung again.
"She can't even mourn for herself!" She screamed at her own babyish reflection. "She can't cry!" Her face began to control in the lines of the cracks. "I can't fix this, I can't console her!" She hit the other side and had her mind bothered to notice she might have complemented the sturdiness of the glass.
"Because she died." Bang. "She cries like a fucking baby she was the baby I was the mature one!" She bellowed to her unrecognizable reflection.
"Im supposed to be the level headed one, I'm the one who should have protected her!" She was screaming into the wind now the glass having already shattered under her blow. Her bar, desperate for more, swung aimlessly at the sides slowly denting it.
"I'm the one who put a live animal in Danielles sweats because she spread rumors about you!" Her bat hit up higher sending the last remaining glass flying. "why the hell couldn't you just-" her voice trailed off her chest heaving it was heavy like a stone had been dropped down her throat and sat in her stomach.
The bar, still itching, swung again this time at the top of the car before it lost its support and fell harmlessly into the back seat with a soft thud. She dropped, not being able to contain the feeling that weighed in her chest, broken dry sobs wracked through her body causing her to shiver an heave but no tears came and she found the scream once again touching her ear. This one was less primal and more frustrating shrouded in disbelief.
She stayed on the trunk unmoving as her body shook and trembled as her stomach went from light as a feather to a boulder. Her hands flexed and her mind flashed only showing her moments before the oak door with the golden knob. Happy moment her mind tortured her with Christmas Easter Halloween and of course their joint birthday. It showed milestones and failures Ariel's and herselfs respectively. But it was simply taunting her cause it knew she couldn't cry not even a single tear.
She was defeated but as the first droplet hit her head she forced a bitter smile. Her bet was going to work out just fine the rain had come.
Rory took a deep breath, releasing it slowly, her third and final one. This one didn't shake even a bit and she opened the door to the school. It was close to the end of the lunch and she had missed chemistry but she didn't care the Principal told her she could leave so Harrison could suck it.
Her fingers closed in tightly on the leather bound book reminding her of her mission. She walked on in soaked velvet ankle boots and socks. She could feel every step through every rippled wrinkle of her tightening skin. It was painful.
But it was okay.
It was all okay. It was going to be okay. She was okay. She was going to be normal. She had to be. After all, she had broken her phone and smashed a car in a single week. She had to be prepared. Punishment was bound to come. She couldn't hide behind her tragic backstory forever.
So it was okay.
Her feet carried her to the cafeteria and she looked for the buzz cut fellow she had offered her hair loom to. He sat in the middle closer to the window and she started forward.
She was going to be nice. Flash a smile, maybe even a giggle. Follow Lydia's example and be more normal.
She could do that.
She could do that until she felt more like herself. She could do that until her wide eyes went back to half lidded. She could do that until her lips turned thin. She could so that until her hip didn't hurt. She could do that.
The book slammed against the thin top of the cafeteria table and her body inclined leaning into the table. Her hair was cold and wet against her temples and cheeks and her wet nose nearly hit his own as she got into his face flashing a smile that was more bared teeth then sweet like she had aimed for.
To his benefit didn't back down, not moving but not from some sheer stubbornness; it was more her action that had triggered his fight, flight or freeze and it had chosen the ladder.
"The book today as promised." Pushing it forward she kept eye contact and found herself being extremely creepy. "I hope this helps with your character." His gaze finally found the book as she pulled back standing and she finally noticed the brown eyed Maracal McCall, Beacon hills new rising star.
He stared at her brows furrowed understandably as she just got into his best friend's face. But his eyes kept flicking down his nose twitching as he sniffed.
"Scotty, how are you? You ready to make first line tomorrow?"
"Did you get burned by something?" He suddenly asked dark eyes pinning her own with a genuine mixture of confusion, concern and curiosity.
The question to her however was loaded. It hit her like gun fire dropping her stomach. Her hand went for her hip instinctually. It took a second to notice how exposed she was, her cape still laying abandoned on the counter top.
"Pardon?"
"I don't know I just smell.. maybe you when you were cooking? You burned yourself then?" The words trailed off becoming more for himself and less for her benefit.
"How the hell would you know..?"
"You smell like pancakes so I just took a guess. Are you not good at cooking" He gave her a small smile as he attempted to cover his insanely accurate assumption with a thin joke. Because he was right in a way.. she had added to her hip constellation and drawn up a shape that made her feel better. But still he shouldn't …be able to smell it? Cause she didn't smell like burnt pancakes cause she would never burn pancakes Ariel would call for public execution so how did he smell both?
"Okay but how would you smell that?" She demanded looking forward to watching Stilinski jump, shaking his head, eyes squinting, hand scratching the back of his neck.
"Look I'm sorry, maybe you just burned the food and I can smell the smoak."
She didn't say anything, staring down at him torn between baffled and enraged at the mere thought of ruining anything she would make for her sister.
"No, I didn't burn anything. I don't know what the hell you're smelling but you need to mind your business okay." She hissed, arms folding over her chest feeling more exposed regretting ever leaving without her cloak.
His face scrunched apologetically and she felt genuinely bad for snapping. He just had such a puppy dog face.
"Rory there you are. I've been looking for you all day. I heard about what happened to your mom. Why didn't you tell me?" It was the last thing she had wanted to come from Allison: the pity, the worry and the unspoken apology. But she was on Rory now, her hand touching her arm gently.
"Didn't tell you? Tell you what? That's she's dead, that's not a big deal, it was bound to happen."
This wasn't the reaction that the taller girl was expecting in fact the response lead to a horrified and confused expression. "B-but she was your mom and I asked around. I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have but she was the only one you had left. After your dad and your sister? How could you not be upset."
Blindsighted by the fact that Allison had gone seeking second hand information she grimaced, but ultimately this was Allison she had sweet brown eyes that were filled with worry.
"Allison its okay lets just not talk about it kay?" She was able to shrug watching scott almost to meticulously she felt he could feel her the chous that brewed in her bones.
Ignoring that she turned to Allsion allowing her to be her entire focus. She wished vaguely that she might hit an entire family of dogs so the conversation would shift but in hindsight that would be a bit too complicated.
"Yeah of course that makes sense, it's okay you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." she smiled but it was strained stretched to wide over her teeth.
In the darkness there was sound. Small at first a low rhythm that plays softly in the back grounds of movies where the characters talked to one another.
Then it intensified to the point she could see the bow striking against the cords.
Once.
Twice.
And on and on it went played by skilled pale hands the bow played a familiar melody that she couldn't place.
She watched the performer, the cello took up most of her small body almost matching her in height as she sat. Her dark hairs framed her face and fell to her shoulders. She was a pretty girl with a distinct feature of a mole under her right eye.
She continued to play as if the song had entranced her and it was now a light goal. To play and never stop to feel the thrill of each note as it came from the instrument. Her tranquil expression was what really caught Rory's attention even as the speed of the song caught up moving faster and faster she didn't once furrow her brow in concentration. Her face was a serine picture of calm.
Then the buzzing. Small at first drowned by the sticking of the bow against the strings but growing louder with each second.
"A raven." The voice spoke directly to her over the music and for a moment it sounded like her own then it was male thicker. Amused.
"Are you hungry? Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but you can't have her, she's at peace." The final word was spat out one that would be followed by a scowl and curled lip. She didn't respond she felt like she couldn't, like she didn't have control. But she was aware she had a sense of self her body was cold in fact she was freezing.
"I too am so very hungry I haven't eaten in so, so long this place it keeps me. Why don't you come find me, little raven, dig me up and set me free." The buzzing was all she could hear now that and the voice a mocking voice, one that was amused at a joke he only seemed to know. "You could feed me with all the pain and strife that you keep bottled up. I could take it. Take it all every bit."
"We could make it a trade since you.. you don't seem to have any idea how to reach your full potential. In time.." the voice trailed off sighing softly. "In time you'll be very very helpful to me. In time Raven you will thrive over the chaos I create." Then it was there a dull image in a blinding light, a figure of bandages with only a gap for the mouth, sharp jagged spaced teeth and she started laughing.
The laugh was humorless, terrified , surprised , loud and heavy. Her entire body was thrown into it shaking and heaving her arms crossing over her chest each hand taking hold of her shoulders. The figures bulging shoulder started to heave with her as if he to was laughing too.
"I think you'll find we have much in common raven two beings of mischievous though I am the superior. Come. To. Me."
The scream woke her up, her eyes snapping open head swiveling from her left to her right the man was gone, replaced by a distant thicket of trees.
The buzzing had faded now and she was alone. Still the scream? We're was it coming from?
Her.
It was coming from her. She might have never figured it out if her shoulders didn't jump up quickly as another scream echoed around her. Her hands clamped down thumbs digging into the bone until she forced herself to stop. The throbbing headache hasn't went away in fact it was a pounding feeling that thudded from the back of her skull to the spot above her eyebrow.
God the headache wouldn't go away, the light of the moon made her squint. She was just too sensitive. It was too much. Her hand reached out for the blanket hoping to block out the light but her hands only caught air empty and she nearly found herself on the floor as her body inclined forward.
"Aurora what the HELL!" Her eyes adjusted.
"Lydia?"
"Uh yeah what the hell are you doing outside?"
Outside? Her eyes widened as she looked around her she found the line of rose bushes, clean well trimmed lawn and the silvery porsh she realized she was outside. She had sleep walked outside.
"I thought you said you had her handled Lydia? Or is your insane cousin actually getting the best of you?" Jacksons unpleasant complaining interrupted the two girls' wide eyed staring match.
"I do have her handled she owes me after all."
"Yeah? Does it have anything to do with that eyesore that is finally out of your driveway? You know how much I hated that price of crap." Rory couldn't tell if he was trying to insult her with his superior haughty tone but in all honesty she hated it too. It was probably the first mutual feeling the two had but she wasn't going to tell him that.
"If you mean she came home, completely wrecked her car and I had to cover for her then yes it does." The two were equally matched in cocky bitchyness but Lydia was family and She prayed to something that Jackson would never be so she just rolled her eyes.
Her head ache didn't give her much room to argue anyway between the spitting pain in her skull and the horrible image of the freaking bandage freak; the only peace she reviewed was the sudden disappearance of the women. It seemed scaring the utter shit out of the young blonde had satisfied her enough to leave her alone.
"You really are a nutcase aren't you Aurora." The way he made the short snarky laugh made her hands flex and once again toyed with the idea of breaking her hand on his face. "Maybe you should take your meds or something then you wouldn't have so many" his eyes flicked over her before. "Freak outs but that's just what freaks do."
"I'm going to bed. I hope you crash." Her head lowered as the lights in the house hit her forcing a nauseous wave over her stomach and up her throat. Nope she really needed something to quell the headache. Reluctantly she turned back around looking for the one person who would know we're to look.
"Whatever!"
Melatonin, Tylenol PM, midole, normal Tylenol, it was only when she came back begging for something stronger that Lydia cut her off. Told her to wait it out. So she did she waited and eventually like Lydia had said cause Lydia is always right apparently she went to sleep. She was at peace sure it was a small window right before Lydia flicked her light switch and danced into her room with a sing-song voice that she had a moment of conscious relief.
Needless to say the moment was short lived. Now she was walking to school pulling at the small leather skirt adjusting the cords of the peasant blouse and feeling very exposed without her cape. This was punishment.
Now saying clothes itself was punishment was over dramatic in fact other then the small leather skirt she liked the outfit it made her feel like a pirate. The punishment was the very small leash that was slipped over her throat last night. The phone in her purse that only had two numbers in it Lydia and Natalies. The leash while invisible to the naked eye was taunting her it's chain being pulled tighter and all because Lydia had taken it apon herself to lie through her teeth instead of just letting Rory get the ax.
Even in the moment as Lydia was lying to her mom about how crack in the windshield caused the car to flood Rory knew she was very dramatically damned. In a way she became Lydia Martins pet no longer having ground to stand on since she refused to fall back on 'trama'.
Her phone was one thing a whole car was a tomb.
She knew it and so did her strawberry blonde cousin who looked more than pleased to watch the towing company remove the car from their home. She swiped the 'emergency' credit card as easily as she did the day they went to get Rory's clothes. She should have just called Nat ratted and ratted on herself but then Lydia would have just become wrathful she wasn't saving Rory's ass just because she wanted ulintoment rule she was also doing it to save her party.
Her hands pulled at the skirt forcing it to the middle of her thigh.
"Rory Rory hey uh hey i've been looking for you everywhere." The voice as frantic as the foot falls on the pavement behind her. Her head pounded at the sound and she groaned, feeling nauseous all over again.
"Everywhere? That's a lot of looking for 8 o'clock in the morning. Don't tell me you flipped over mattresses and ransacked your closets trying to find me cause I didn't do the whole breaking and entering thing." Other then that one time at the school but that hardly counted.
"What? No no, I was just waiting for you in the parking lot. I was reading the book and I overheard my dad talking about something over the phone this morning but that's not the point." He was talking a mile a minute and she debated just tuning it out pretending that his voice wasn't bouncing around her skull perpetuation her migraine. But no he was still talking in fact he was kind of getting off track seemingly about to dive into something off topic so she brought him back.
"Okay and you were waiting for me, why? Did you want to give it back, extend your time with it?" turning she looked back to see the apparent lack of strawberry blonde. Gone but not forgotten apparently cause there was a distinct vibration in her purse which she assumed was her first warning.
"Well okay it's about the book, how did your grandfather come up with it all like the whole hierarchy in werewolves like how they use eye color to rank them. Like red for alpha, and blue and yellow for beta."
"I'm not really sure about that.id tell you to ask him but he's more expired then the rest of my family" he stared at her now, his expression both shocked and concerned as it probably should be. "Why?" She hoped it would be enough subtleness for him not to ask.
"It's just really interesting for my character. Is it uh true that bitten werewolves have a harder time controlling the shift?" Perfect.
"Well duh think about it when you're a born werewolf your body is made for the shift every cell and molecule is already ready for the shift. But if your bitten your body has to go through the stages of transformation and it has to get used to the abilities that come from it. I mean think about the shock you would feel if you woke up one day and you could hear the birds singing from a mile away you would think you were crazy but because of that your brain makes the transition seem slower. Hearing, scenes, even your muscles mass and durability gets stronger as the days go by so as long as you have time for the month to pass by the next full moon they'll be ready for an easy transformation. Well I mean as long as they are mentally well." The whole monologue should of made her head hurt more but this was her obsession since she was 7 years old headache be damned.
He blink at her for a couple minutes, mouth opened slightly.
"So there supposed to be bitten after the full moon?"
"Well I mean yeah an alpha would want to give them time to adjust before the full moon a month is usually a good amount of leeway for them to prepare why?"
"What happens if there bitten closer to the full moon, I mean like a week or something?" A distinct vibration came from her purse and she knew she was being summoned.
"Not great things but that's why you have the book isn't it? Listen I got to go Lydia wants me to talk to her click about the music for the party tonight."
"But I thought your phone was broken."
"Its Lydia's old phone. Nat had it activated last night so she could stay in touch with me. She's worried or something."
"Hey uh can I give my number just in case I have more questions or something like that?" He asked, attempting what she guessed was nonchalance but ultimately his little tics gave away to something more; he was nervous, his hand rubbing over the fuzz of his buzz cut told her that. But she didn't really have time for his nerves so instead she put a pin in it.
"Yeah uh here just give it back to me in first period and you're coming to the party tonight right?" He nodded, capturing the phone that was being pressed into his chest. "If you bring me coffee tonight I'll let you borrow any book you want from his collection. Kay?"
"Wait, why do you need coffee?" She didn't bother turning back to answer him, to caught up in getting to Lydia's locker in time.
"Hey, I have questions."
"Lydia, I brought her your lamb for slaughter." Rory huffed dryly as she unhooked her arm from Allsions. She was unsurprisingly sturdy having nearly pulled Rory off her feet in her attempt to eat with Scott. In all honesty she knew that dragging Allison into her suffering was cruel and unjust selfish even but Allsion was asked by the queen specifically and she was just doing her due diligence.
"Don't say that go ahead and have a seat Allison." Allsion Rory decided didn't to have a vengeful bone in her body cause she cast her an unsure look before sinking down.
"So elephant in the room? Miracle McCall are you two like together?" The blonde girl asked quickly and Rory still did not know her name. All she knew was she had to escape her last period choosing to sit with another blonde in the back of the class. Erica was sweet and Rory marveled at the fact that they both had blonde hair and brown eyes, an odd combination that wasn't very common.
Casting her gaze she looked for Erica. She was shy and didn't go out of her way to start a conversation even when Rory sat down but she was alright with that she preferred that over her every move being reported back to her cousin.
Maybe it wasn't that deep and Rory's paranoia was just particularly acute, maybe it was the way her voice was high pitched and girly and didn't help the constant ringing of Rory's headache.
"Miracle McCall? Is that what your calling it?" Jackson scoffed at the head of the table. "He's cheating, he's probably taking steroids or something."
"Or maybe he just trained a lot over winter break. He told me that he's been doing a lot of practicing." Said the second biggest defender of Scott McCall Allsion Argent made Rory fall in love with her just a little bit more as she openly talked back to god o'mighty I drive a Porsche therefore I am supreme Jackson Whittmore.
"Really? Have you felt his abs yet?" The girl to her right asked not exactly reading the room as eyes slowly found her small round face. "I mean you have haven't you. I heard your taking him to the party tonight. You want to make sure your the one he leaves with right?"
Allsions face flushed but there was an obvious look of sheer surprise at the audacity. Sighing she rested her head on her shoulder and gave a mock sob. "are you suffering? Cause I know I am."
"And what do you think you can get him? Are you going after Trevor? Don't be a vulture Tracy, it's an unflattering look."
"I am not! I'm an opportunist and Marical McCall is just such a yummy opportunity. Tall, dark and handsome and obviously he's going to climb the ranks. Who wouldn't want to snatch that up I mean isn't that what you're doing Allison."
"Well no actually he asked me." Tracy's lips thinned her hands clasping together before disappearing under the table.
"Can you talk about something that's actually worth talking about?" Jackson's question was more a demand.
"Oh my god yes did anyone notice we were short a person or three?" The blonde asked jestering to the area that Allsion and Rory were sitting. She could see the way her green eyes darted scanning Lydia's reactions.
And she was just as visibly disappointed the queen bee k00ept her features perfectly aloof her eyes examining the piece of broccoli on her fork. "Ugh Harley I swear she's stole Kelsey Jordan and Carly right out from under us." Blowing out a breath Tracy showed more emotion then Lydia ever would.
She wasn't ignorant to the sudden competition that Harley was displaying. According to the strawberry blonde herself, the queen bee status that Lydia so viciously upheld was the same as standing on the tip of a mountain. Once you get to the top there's not a lot of room to stand and you could be toppled at any point if you don't keep your footing. Lydia Martin stood at the top clenching at the star Lacrosse team captain like the power couples in magazines.
Rory couldnt exactly grapple with what was so important with prom queen status since there wasn't much that came with the title but Lydia had plans. Plans that stretched past the sophomore year plans of networking and status plans of hierarchy and power. Plans of domination.
"It's whatever there still coming to the biggest party of the semester and it's gonna be at my sleepover later tonight anyway. I even got Carly to agree and she's been stuck to Mike's face since the start of winter break. Anyway Lydia you are coming right I still haven't gotten a response."
"I told you already that my mom wants me home to pack."
"Pack?" The blonde asked, perking up. It was getting almost pathetic that Rory still didn't have a clue what the everloving hell her name was.
"Yes pack. For New York." Jackson took the opportunity to roll his eyes and suddenly him leaving at the crack of dawn last night made since. He was getting a final booty call before she left for the weekend.
"New York? Lydia, you didn't tell us you were going to freaking New York. Oh my god you have to send pics. I want to see everything you see." Lydia took that with a satisfied smirk and she put down her fork.
"She's going for a funeral, not a tourist attraction. And unless you want a pic of how big Boston rats get, keep your gawking to yourself." Rory bit out coldy ignoring how Lydia's self indulgent smirk dropped and her eyes narrowed
"A funeral? Ew who died?" The fact that that was the girl's immediate response caused to wonder if she could even read a room.
"Oh right." There was a pause as if she was debating with herself and Rory instantly wished that she would lose the debate because the question she asked next could be seen from a mile a minute. It was in her green eyes swirling around with morbid curiosity.
"Do you miss them? I know your mom died yesterday but like so does the whole school." She started justifying her prying as she seemed to hunch over leaning forward like she was telling a secret. "It was your mom and your sister though right, do you miss her?"
Rory didn't respond. Her cool facade of her cheek cradled in her palm was just that a facade. Inside she was frozen pinned down by Dias green eyes and the underlying question that whispered to her.
"Do you feel anything?"
The question was insulting. Rory loved her sister, she had done everything her sister had ever told her to and followed her lead since she was old enough to comprehend the red heads authority. They had roles all sisters did and Rorys was to keep the flame that burned in her sisters eyes alive and thriving. She worked to make her sister happy and appeased in life and would do anything to keep her from fire from experiencing a measly flicker. She would wipe every tear, quall any nightmare and fight over every demon because there was no one she loved more in the world than her.
And in turn her sister would be her one and only true friend, her confidant, the bright shining beacon that allowed Rory to stay in the cool greys of the shadows. Her sister was her everything.
Her sister was her rock a rock she didn't have anymore. A rock that would of told her off when she grabbed nearest fork already deciding to shove it deep into Dias hand before Lydia's hand shot out, taking hers.
"Do we really need to need to talk about something soo depressing?" She asked her tone, stuffy prissy and annoyed.
"Well whatever so what you can't come. As for them they'll be back. Besides Kelsey wants to wear a bandage dress to the party tonight. I seriously can't let her do that." Then the conversation derailed going into something She didn't understand on the surface level much less when it got deeper.
"Any idea-"
"Not a clue." Allsion cut her off knowing what she was fishing for.
"Well damn."
…
The library presented itself with high walls and lines of books, something she would appreciate at any point of the day but right now she had a mission.
"Why couldn't you just open the door."
"I thought… there was a huge creator in your side."
"Come to me little raven."
"Come. Too. Me."
Her fingers danced over the spine of teen pregnancy, drugs, and just about any other uncomfortable topic that would be pulled out for research purposes. There had been so many instances were she thought she had just straight up lost it. Her mind was going farther and father into the deep end of crazy drowning her in it more the usual. She kept going until she came to the first book on the uncomfortable topic she was looking for. 'Surviving Schizophrenia a family guid." She frowned because she was looking for something different.
And then the next book caught her eye The Center Cannot Hold my journey through madness. Sinking to the ground she opened to the first page and quickly found the formatting alluring like it was a psychological fictional narrative. At some point she completely forgot she was there to compare. To try and to find similar experience and possible common ground. As the story progressed she only found herself distancing from the narrator as the story rose up around playing before her like she was looking in rather than becoming one with the speaker.
Instead of trying to think of how she too might have little quirks that caused her to have an overwhelming need for organization she was on the outside looking in. She was watching the little girl organize her shoes lining them against her closet wall. Growing and pushing around food until finally the challenge of maintaining something more healthy through force of will and spite.
She flipped through the pages forgetting that she was researching and instead falling into the film enthralled with the speaker.
"Rory? oh thank God I thought I would find you here but I wasn't sure but look, I have a question."
"Holy- Stilinski what?" Her voice came off particularly whiny as she pulled the book away from her nose.
"Sorry sorry I know you were reading but I'm stuck on this and I wanted to bounce some ideas off you for a sec." Both of his spider-like hands grasped the leather book, shoving it forward and she could see little slips of paper sticking out the top, something that wasn't there when she gave it to him.
"Isn't that what's Scotts for? Why don't you talk to him about it?" Her comment made him shifty eyed and looking side to side. "He's not really interested."
She thought about it for a moment before she sighed, closing her book and setting it to her left before patting the place to her right. "Fine but you should know that's a shitty explanation."
He didn't comment, only moving quickly to her side, cracking the book open to the page that she didn't recognize. Of course she didn't recognize many pages since they were unceremoniously ripped from her childish hands before she could explore them all. But she knew tales and stories that her grandfather told her. He was as thorugho in his stories as he was in his writing so she thought she could keep up at least.
"I just wanted to know about the first transformation, the blood lust how..how bad would you say that is? On a scale of moody to murder?"
"I mean it depends on the person and I guess the pack. Some packs have a first killing as a right of passage while others are more peaceful. Can't you just read about it, that's why I gave you the book." His eyes moved from hers back to the hand written pages.
"What if they don't have a pack?" He asked suddenly and her brows quirked before she took the book, ensuring to be gentle, she flipped to the table of context till then to the page ensuring to keep her thumb in the original page that he had opened to. She knew the dick move and she wouldn't wish on the any of her enemies.
"Then there an Omega." Gesturing down to the page there was a detailed drawing of a orange eye followed by paragraphs of information.
"But no see cause the eyes aren't orange there yellow like.." trailing off his eyes traced the room as if looking for something to compare it to. "Like a deep yellow," seeming to fail on his quest, he looked back. "Really yellow like.. like your hair yellow."
"My hair?" She asked instantly, taking a strand of hair and examining it was a lighter blonde not bleached but not icey or dirty, just light but not yellow. Looking at another strand she confirmed not yellow.
"Okay so not like your hair but it's yellow, not orange."
"But you just said they have no pack? As in no alpha so an omega a yellow eyed omega doesn't exist."
"So if their eyes are yellow they have to have an alpha no exceptions?" He repeated and she found herself nodding eyes widening at his sheer surprise.
"So back to the original question: how dangerous do you think a beta is on their first transformation?"
"Extremely" The way she shrugged the answer off was bared almostthe excact opposite reaction from the spastic jittery boy.
"W-what do you mean by extremely what does that mean? I mean what will he.. they do? If we were to get hypothetical of course."
"Maybe you should read more. Cause if you did you would know how emotions can control a werewolf almost as much as the moon."
"I did read the book I've been reading all day. I know about the pulse rising and how their emotions can affect them. But I'm just wondering how bad is it? There blood lust and everything?"
"It depends, people react to it differently but I mean how deep does this go Stilinski because the discussions not that deep. I mean my grandfather's version is different then say Stephen King's Cycle of a werewolf or R.L stine Werewolf of fever swamp or even The Wolf man they all have different lores and ideas of what a werewolf should be and how it should react. This isn't the tell all be all of werewolf mythology the Americans Werewolf in London didn't have some alpha to report back to and grandpas creatures definitely don't take on their predecessors history of kills. I mean grandpa didn't even let them turn into full wolves, they're just humans with beastly features." He took her in his eyes searching her face but not really looking at her more like she was just a canvas and he was filling her in with his own thoughts.
"Okay so say it wasn't but a lot of this stuff just seems like he's writing from personal experience like he knew a werewolf and studied it. It just comes off as scientific."
"He has multiple journals that have the same researcher feel to them. It's not anything new I think he just knew how to captivate his audience which he obviously did if you're anything to go off of." His pale cheeks flushed at this and she noticed for almost the first time the constellation on moles. It made her want to get a marker and connect the dots just to see what constellation they would make.
"Okay but one more question." She groaned dramatically, throwing her head back. "Just one more I promise, do you think werewolves would leave wolf hairs or human hairs at a crime scene?"
"Stilinski, how the hell am I supposed to know that?" His eyes widened but he nodded slowly and while she expected him to get up to run about he just sat there for a moment going back to the page her thumb had was still book marking.
….
As weird as Stilinski was Rory wouldn't say that he was weirder then Allison Argent was at this very moment. She looked worried even as she showed off her two potential outfits. One was a simple white button up collared shirt while the other was a purple casual dress.
"A plain button up?" Lydia scoffed, retreating from the closest to examine the choices. "Maybe if you were to tie it up and added a mini skirt." They both looked at her Allsion through the camera lens of her computer and Rory stared at her in person. She looked at them, eyes darting and wearing this kind of a shocked expression that they weren't laughing or making some kind of a comment.
"What I'm getting at is this is your first party and you're going with an up and coming star. He's fresh meat right now and a plain button up and some jeans aren't going to cut it. You want to give him some idea of what you have in store or someone else will come along in a short skirt and snatch him away."
"Were really worried about that? Scott just claimed the social chain of how many vultures could possibly be after him." scoffing again lydia rolled her eyes crossing her arm over her chest her eyed moved from rory to allison as if she expected some kind of realization that once again shocked her when it didn't come.
"You're both hopeless! Let me put this in a way you'll understand he did a hands-free round-off flip over three players to make a simple goal proving an ambitious drive that many girls will kill and I do mean assianate to have. A player like McCall didn't just rise the ranks tonight he proved that he's a prize and if you want him you have to win him." She smiled looking down on them like an amused mother would at her clueless children.
"So the dress or better yet you can come over here and I can dress you. You and Rory can be like my little dolls." Her voice was perfectly Lydia as she went from the strategic genus to the patronizing evil queen bee. She even went as far as to stroke her hand over Rory's hair pulling lightly at the strands. Like the villain would his cat during his big reveal scene.
"It's a trap." she mouthed faking a visible shutter to emphasize her point. "Can we pass the becetal test now cause we're making for a very cliche group. Let's talk about how" trailing off she looked at the hook in her closet completely. "Like how- there's no way in hell i'm not wearing that."
Standing from the vanity she moved quickly before Lydia could stop her she grabbed the blue dress "You want me to wear a prom dress." with a few steps she was in front of the camera again brandishing the dress to Allison with a frown. "She wants me to wear a freaking prom dress!" It was short with a flared skirt and sweetheart neckline and it was the color she hated the most. A dusty dull blue, the ones used in movies for mental patients, the color of their gowns. The color that's supposed to present a depressive feelings in the viewer to feel the hopelessness of the patients that wear them.
"It is not a prom dress, it's a cocktail dress which is completely different."
"Why can't I just wear pants like Allsion?"
"One because it's my party and two she's not wearing pants she's wearing the dress right." Turning to the screen they noticed that Allsion was no longer on the screen, instead it was just Rory's screen saver of a simple stock photo of a clock set to 6:35.
"I guess she didn't want to see us argue."
"We weren't going to argue. We don't have anything to argue about i picked out a cute dress for you to wear and your gonna wear it."
"I don't want to wear it"
"That's not a choice you have right now it's this dress or nude." Her cherry red lips pulled up into a sick grin of satisfaction as her heel closed in on her neck.
Slowly she sunk down until she was perched on the vanity seat the bracelets Lydia had placed on her before she started on her make jiggled as her hands flexed. "How long are you going to do this."
"What do you mean Aurora?" she could see her in the mirror past the computer, her hand stroking her hair again, her head cocking to the side as she stared directly at her faux innocents. "I just helped you with something so now you're gonna help me. Besides, how hard is it to be normal."
"We have a very different idea of normal." she hissed looking up at her reflection through her lashes. Seeing her looming over her is an all consuming force. Was this her role now playing dress up for her cousin while she descended further into madness. Was she going to lose herself internally to mental illness then externally as Lydia puppet.
Her mind was breaking slowly descending into visions and voices hallucinations and dreams of her deceased father and an unnamed dead woman. Yellow eyes and forest and pretending. Pushing things down until she felt like she was going to explode was this her now was she subcomming to a version of herself where she spent her days in a daze rejecting the world around her rather then taking it in.
Suddenly she felt hot. The ringing in her ears got louder, a long steady beep.
There was a distant bang and her head hit harshly against something above her. "Aurora what the hell!" Lydia's squeaky voice forced her out of her haze. She was holding her face but she could see her eyes narrowed and burning. She stood there for a moment collecting herself taking a couple breaths before her eyes aught the mirror and
"Put on the dress, I will see you down the stairs." with a final huffy noise she slammed the door.
The chair was in her hands gripped tightly as she raised it over her head when then there was a sound a ringing this time it wasnt in her head instead it was external it was coming.. From the computer.
'Allsions' the caller id read and the anger melted falling off her limbs until the clatter of her stool before reluctantly hitting the answer key.
"Sorry about that my dad called me. He wanted to say bye before he headed out"
"Yeah? Cause i was about to write you off as a horrible friend who ditches when a cat fight breaks out." tuning, she smiled sarcasm replacing her previous venom.
…
"But the main business of Chamberlain in the last four months has been funerals. Four hundred and forty are now known dead, eighteen more still unaccounted for. And sixty-seven of the dead were Ewen High School Seniors on the verge of graduation. It is this, perhaps, more than anything else, that has taken the guts out of Chamberlain.." Rory smiled as her eyes flicked to the hot pink sticky she had to remove it to read the page.
'Sorry Rors I might have to tap out this is seriously depressing. Does King even know what a happy ending is? I like happy endings better. I'm seriously trudging through this book right now. Not bored though..just disturbed." She smiled even though it felt like falling she didn't let it.
"Rory, come on, the party has started and in case you've already forgotten your goal tonight is to socialize."
"Why the hell don't I have a lock."
"You didn't want one. Remember." Yeah of course she remembered she hadn't completely lost it yet but right now with the strawberry blonde in the room she just wanted to lock her out. "Now come on get out of bed and we'll pretend like you didn't assault me Earle" she wanted to hiss threaten to actually assault her but her phone chimed on the bed.
'what kind of coffee don't you want?'
"Also the coffee shop is closed."
"I can stop by the gas station."
"Also I have some more questions about the whole werewolf thing."
So tonight might not be too much of a bust. She was finally getting some caffeine
