NOTE: The second section of "6/11 – Saturday, Afternoon, Cafe Leblanc" contains multiple recollections of abuse, sexual harassment and assault. While not graphic, this still may be difficult or upsetting to read, so please take breaks or skip sections as needed. Stay safe.
6/10 – Friday
Evening
Cafe Leblanc
"How was the trip?" Sojiro asked, the moment Ren walked through the door. "Stay out of trouble?"
Ren shrugged. "Uh, I did my best. And it was fine." He placed his bag down on the nearest table, just long enough for Morgana to hop out, and then slung it back over his shoulder. "I might have made a new friend."
Sojiro raised an eyebrow. "Only might have?"
Ren mulled that over. "He might hate my guts. But he also wanted to spend some more time together?"
"Hm." Sojiro stroked his chin. "Sounds like, whoever he is, he's got a lot going on."
"Yeah," Ren replied. "Seems like it." Without even really thinking about it, he sat down at the counter. As soon as he did so, he spied an odd smile on Sojiro's face. Odd, but good.
"Anything else you want to share?" Sojiro asked.
Ren was about to simply rattle off the details of his day, when his breath caught in his throat. He wanted...he wanted to share a lot. He felt sort of compressed at that moment, struggling under the weight of everything, all the little bits of insanity that he'd come to accept. His lost memories. The parcels, Anachronism, Oxymoron. Stealing hearts in dark and frightening places. The odd and furious gentleman living in his heart. Mitsuru's organization, who he could neither trust nor abandon. And– "I think I'm in love?"
Sojiro's smile widened into a grin, and he raised one hand to his mouth, badly disguising a little laugh behind a cough. "You only think?" he teased.
Ren tried and failed not to glare at the cafe owner. "It's complicated," he grumbled back.
Sojiro nodded, and reached over to pull the nearby coffee pot off its resting place. "I was sixteen once too," he said. And he slowly poured a cup. "It's pretty much always complicated. You've got a lot going on too, I bet, definitely more than you've told me." He raised a hand, cutting off Ren's apology before he could speak. "And that's perfectly normal. Having really intense complicated feelings about someone, wanting to keep your life to yourself; you're growing up, Ren. And there's nothing you need to apologize for about that." He slid the cup across the countertop to Ren. "But, if you want to share, I am here to listen."
Ren took the cup with a nod and raised it to his lips. Bitter as always, but nice. It filled up his gut with a heat that felt sort of well-missed. Like an old friend. "I'd like that," he said, quietly.
Sojiro's eyes seemed to gleam in that way they'd done before. "Go on then." He gestured to Ren, leaning back a little. "Tell me about her."
Ren swallowed hard, and delayed his answer behind another long sip.
And Sojiro made a little curious hum. "Tell me about him, then?"
Ren nodded. "Yeah. Um." He reached up and twisted a lock of hair between two fingers. "He's...I dunno. He makes me feel happy." Ren couldn't help but smile imaging the jock's grin, the way he held himself, that giddy laughter when he fought, that fury and kindness and...just everything. Everything about him. "He makes me feel safe. Like I can...well, not that I can tell him everything, but that I want to. But also, I'm like, so terrified." He laughed. "Cool, sounds even crazier saying it out loud than it did in my head."
Sojiro chuckled too, but there was something almost somber about it. "What about him makes you scared?" he asked, a little slower than before, more careful.
Ren bit the inside of his cheek. "It's not him, I guess. It's me. Or, like, I dunno, I just feel scared that I'm not good enough. Or that he won't like me back. Or that he'll like me more than I like him, or something, and it'll end up hurting.." Ren trailed off. As easy as the words flowed off his tongue, they weren't easy to say. Like choking on smoke. When he spoke again, it was quieter than he intended. "I don't want to hurt him. I know that's stupid, cause people get hurt all the time like this, but I still...I still don't want that. I want him to be happy." He shifted on the stool, not sure what else to say.
Sojiro was quiet for a little bit, letting the silence last longer than Ren was comfortable with. "That's not stupid at all. I'd say that's really mature of you." And he smiled, in that so-kind-it-was-uncomfortable way. "You're right that people get hurt in love all the time. Most of the time, people like being in love too much to think about that. And when they do, they can make some real dumb decisions trying to keep themselves from getting hurt." He rubbed the back of his neck sort of sheepishly, and Ren realized he might have been talking from personal experience. "But worrying about hurting someone else? That's pretty grown-up."
Ren wasn't sure whether to take that as pity or praise, but he chose the latter. "Thank you."
Sojiro nodded, and let out a long breath. "That said," he continued, "doesn't mean it's easy to feel that way." He reached over the counter and ruffled Ren's hair. From anyone else, Ren might have protested, but from Sojiro? He didn't mind it that much. "I think, and I know this is gonna sound nagging, that you should really talk to him about it. Not just that you like him, but that you want him to be happy. What you like about him. All of that."
Ren nodded slowly. He'd already mentioned a bit of that to Ryuji, but he obviously hadn't said anything close to the details yet. "I know. I guess I'm just not sure how to start that conversation."
Sojiro chuckled. "Well, that sounds pretty normal too." He stroked his chin. "Your friends are coming over tomorrow, so it wouldn't make much sense to do it then. What about this weekend?"
Ren felt his heart jump into his throat. "Nope!" he squeaked, before clearing his throat. "No thanks, I'd rather wait."
"The longer you wait," Sojiro warned, with a little glare, "the harder it's gonna be. You do want to tell him, right?"
He did. He really, really wanted to. Ren took a deep breath. "So," he said, "if I were to tell him this weekend...how would you recommend doing that?"
Sojiro chuckled. "Well, you do live in the attic of a cafe. If you wanted to invite him over for a little while, I could just make sure to take an extra long lunch break then."
Ren shook his head. "You don't have to–"
"Ren," Sojiro said, firmly. "I know I don't have to, but I'm offering." And then he smiled. "Would you be comfortable with that?"
Well, if he had to be honest with his feelings anywhere, it might...it might as well...Ren had to choke out his next breath. "I don't know," he said, finally, voice strained. "I don't...I don't think I'm ready yet."
Sojiro's smile faded, but his eyes were no less soft, and that made it just a bit less painful. "That's fine, Ren," he said. "There's nothing wrong with waiting. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to rush into this, you don't." And the man took a long, deep breath. "The offer stands. But don't do it this weekend. Take your time, think it through. Spend a bit more time with him." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Does that sound okay?"
Ren forced his breath to steady, tried to unwind his heart from its tense and knotted beat. It was still a mortifying prospect, but... "That sounds good. Thank you."
Morgana looked utterly bored by the time Ren climbed the stairs to the attic, lying on the bed on his stomach next to a parcel. "What were you talking about with Boss, anyway?" he said.
"You weren't listening in?" Ren asked, kicking off his shoes.
Morgana shook his head, looking almost offended by the accusation. "Just because I ride around in your bag all the time doesn't make me a snoop!"
Ren felt an urge to debate that with the feline, but he bit his tongue. He could have fibbed, could have let the subject change naturally without actually answering Morgana's question. But neither of those felt right. Mona deserved better. "We were talking about love, I guess." Ren sat down next to Morgana, moving the parcel out of the way.
The not-a-cat scrunched up his little nose. "Oh. Never mind, I don't wanna know."
Ren could have burst out laughing. "Alright, alright, suit yourself." He scratched behind one of Morgana's ears, then turned his attention to the parcel. He pulled it onto his lap, and immediately regretted the movement as its surprising heft dropped onto his thighs. He let out a sharp breath. "Shit!" It was much heavier than he expected. Ren raised an eyebrow towards Morgana. "How did you get this all the way up to the bed on your own?"
The feline stretched himself out, arching his back. "That'll be my secret."
Ren snickered. "Fine, fine." He opened the adhesive end, noting with amusement the small holes that looked like bite-marks, and lifted the edge up to peer inside the parcel. Then, all the warmth dropped out of his chest.
That weight made a sudden, frightening sense, considering the hunk of dark-tan metal and plastic sitting in his lap. It wasn't as if the Thieves' models were particularly fake looking, but there was something about this...Ren could tell, maybe from a glance, maybe just out of instinct, that this was horrifyingly real. He started to reach inside, then stopped. If he put fingerprints on it, would that incriminate him in some capacity? Oxymoron wouldn't send him a murder weapon, would she? Would Anachronism?
"Well?" Morgana sat up on his haunches, staring up at Ren with his big, curious blue eyes. "What's inside?"
"A gun," Ren said, and the word sounded so alien on his tongue. "It's a pistol."
"Oh!" Morgana hummed, half like a purr. "We usually get new weapons right after another Thief joins, that's sort of odd. I wonder–"
Ren shook his head. "No. It's...it's a..." He couldn't even say the words.
Morgana stared at him, head tilted, tail flicking back and forth. Then, his eyes widened. And his tail froze, stiffened, all the fur standing up. "It's real?" he practically whispered.
Rather than answer, Ren reached into the parcel and extracted the handgun. It certainly had the weight he would have expected. No loose parts, no obvious seams or cheap plastic. It was far more mechanical than smooth, far colder. Slowly, as steadily as his shuddering heart could allow, Ren clicked the little button next to the trigger and let the magazine slide out into his other hand. There, held in place against a spring-loaded platform, was a golden cylinder with a bronze cap. A single bullet. Just one, but it was more real than anything Ren had ever seen in his life. Making sure the safety was on, he slid the magazine back into the pistol. Then, not even really processing his actions, he placed the gun in the parcel, and re-sealed the adhesive.
Morgana's eyes were still wide, perplexed, almost frightened. "Why would they send us that?"
Ren just shook his head. "I don't know."
A little silence. "What do we do with it?"
Ren was about to repeat himself, but...no. No, he needed to make a decision. He couldn't keep ignoring problems, hoping they'd solve themselves on their own. He grit his teeth. "I'm not going to use it. I don't know why they gave it to me. I don't know who..." Who they wanted him to use it against.
"They might have just sent it for self defense?" Morgana offered.
"It doesn't matter," he replied, forcing himself to be firmer than sharp. "I'm not going to use it. I'm not going to kill anyone, Morgana. I'd rather be scared than a murderer."
The feline was silent for a little while. Then, a fuzzy head pressed against Ren's arm. A quiet purr. He didn't say anything, but the message was clear enough: Ren didn't have to be either.
6/11 – Saturday
Afternoon
Cafe Leblanc
After school, as planned, the Thieves gathered at Leblanc. Ren hadn't responded much to their usual group texts that day, and he was likewise half-silent throughout their conversation about what to do for Yusuke's initiation party. He couldn't stop thinking about the pistol, that deadly thing he'd had to find a new hiding spot for, hidden in a plastic bag tucked between the outer-ceramic and inner-plastic of the potted tree in his attic room.
Ann plopped down next to Ren on his mattress. "Hot pot it is!" she sounded cheerful, but sort of...off at the same time. "Yusuke, Ryuji, you two mind going and grabbing the stuff from the store? Ren and I can set up everything else up here."
"You can count on me!" Yusuke proclaimed, standing up with a sort of performative emphasis, as if trying to appeal to a skeptical audience.
"And," Ryuji added, standing up too, "you can count on me to make sure we come back with the stuff on our list, and not just a bunch of weird shit." He sent a half-glare towards Yusuke.
The artist scoffed, turning towards the staircase. "I'll have you know that fermented herring is treated as a delicacy in many parts of the world."
"A: fuckin gross," Ryuji shot back, following Yusuke down the stairs. "B: it'd ruin the whole taste of the hot pot. And C: how the hell are we gonna find that anywhere nearby?" Soon enough, the pair were out of earshot.
"Okay," Ren said, "how should we–" He stood up, then yelped as Ann grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back down onto the bed.
"Alright spill it!" she said, practically glaring a hole through his skull. "You've been super quiet and weird all day; what's up?"
"Uh." Ren said. Her intensity had done a pretty excellent job of dropkicking any and all thoughts from his head. There was the sound of Morgana's paws, vaguely, as the feline slunk out of the room. "Could you let go of my sleeve please?"
Ann cooled off almost instantly. "Sorry," she said, and let go. "I'm...ugh, I'm sorry." She reached up, fiddling with her ponytails. "I said you could keep stuff to yourself if you want to, it's shitty of me to act like–"
Ren shook his head. "No, no, it's okay." He took a deep, long breath. "I should have said something sooner. I've just got a lot on my mind." Ren held his hands together in his lap, flicking one thumb against the other. "Oxymoron basically threatened me, but I'm still taking her gifts, and they're getting weirder. Like they haven't come with instructions since last month, and I feel like she's messing with me." He shrugged. "I'm gonna keep trusting my instincts, trying to make the right decisions on my own, all of that. It's just feeling more complicated." Something sharp, acrid. An echo like thunder, his finger curled around metal. "Way more complicated."
Ann nodded, slowly. "I understand," she said, quietly. "Well, I mean, I don't understand completely, obviously, but...I hear you." She placed one hand on his. "And I'm here for you."
"Thank you," he said. "I guess I've also been thinking about what Akechi said, about us being manipulative, and it's really bugging me. Then there's the whole thing with Ryuji–" And Ren clamped his jaw shut.
Ann stared at him, one eyebrow quirked, but it didn't take much more than a second for her face to light up. "Oh! Holy shit you are in love with–"
"Ah, nonono!" Ren protested instantly, face the approximate heat of a supernova, eyes darting towards the staircase as if the jock would re-enter the room any instant. "Not out loud, are you crazy?"
She slapped a hand over her mouth, but Ren could see a huge grin behind her fingers. "You are!"
He scrunched his face up, sighing through his nose. "I am," he grumbled back.
Ann let out a single sharp laugh, before devolving into barely-stifled giggles. "I knew it," she whispered in sing-song.
"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, but he couldn't help but smile back. "But, uh, yeah. I mean, I've never been in...I've never crushed..." Ren took a long deep breath. Even just saying it out loud was miserable. "I've never felt like this about anyone before. So, it's probably, uh, that. But can't say for sure."
Ann shrugged. "I mean, it seemed pretty obvious to me. Yusuke too, apparently."
Her smugness was starting to get to him. "Guess you have a lot of experience with being in love, Ann?" he fired back.
Her face almost immediately reddened, and she slugged him in the shoulder. "Shut up!"
Ren burst out laughing, rubbing his arm where she'd hit him. "I yield, I yield, jeez."
Ann chuckled too, but glanced towards the far wall, her eyes sort of unfocusing. "I guess...I'm still figuring that out for myself, with someone."
And a certain black-haired jock girl – with tired eyes that had still sort of lit up when she had mentioned Ann – flashed through his mind. He could have been wrong, but it looked like he and Ann were both crushing on their best friends. Regardless, he kept his mouth shut.
"So," Ann continued, "I'll let you know when I figure it out."
"And I'll let you know too," he replied. "How it goes, I mean."
She gave him a little playful smile. "So, you're gonna tell him then?" Still softer than her previous tone, an odd lyricism to her voice.
Ren nodded. "Yeah. No idea when I'll have the guts for it, but I want to."
"Hm." She leaned back, staring at the attic ceiling. "Well, his birthday is coming up; like three weeks from now. He already told me he didn't want to make a big deal out of it, buuuut," Ann smirked at Ren, "might be a perfect time for that sorta gift."
Ren tried to swallow and found his throat surprisingly dry. Three weeks, huh? Yeah. Yeah, maybe he could live with that. "Might be," he replied.
She grinned, and pushed off the mattress. "Come on, let's go set up before Yusuke and Ryuji get back." Ann stuck her tongue out over her shoulder at him. "Betcha fifty yen they'll bring back something totally weird."
Ren laughed and stood up. "Knowing them? I will not take that bet."
"Holy shit that was good." Ryuji, one hand on his stomach, leaned back so far he flopped completely onto the attic floor. "Yusuke, I take back everything I ever said about those whatever nuts, they're so much better than they sounded."
The Thieves, Morgana included, were sitting on the floor together, the nearly-empty hot pot between them, a few drained soda bottles and utensils scattered in basically every direction.
"Ginkgo nuts," Yusuke replied, with a victorious smile. "I'm glad to see you expanding your horizons, Ryuji. An eclectic culinary taste is a wonderful thing to foster."
"No kidding," Ann mumbled, practically dragging herself up onto the nearby couch. "Didn't you used to brag about going a whole week on nothing but cup noodles?"
Morgana paused grooming himself to scrunch up his nose. "Ewww."
"I'll have you both know," Ryuji replied, raising only a single arm up with a finger extended for dramatic emphasis, "that was like six years ago! Also I totally lied, I only went three days before my mom found out."
"Oh," Yusuke said, a little note of surprise, "you and Ann have been friends for that long?"
"They went to the same middle school," Ren explained.
Ann nodded. "Yep. Like, three classes together. But I wouldn't really say we were friends, not like we are now. Not even close."
"I told her she had cooties," Ryuji admitted. "Like, multiple times."
Ren couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Really?!"
"Yeah," Ann continued, snickering herself. "I'm pretty sure he said Shiho smelled bad one time and I punched him so hard I got detention for a week."
Ryuji laughed too, a little strained considering he was laying on his back. "Yeah, I totally deserved that."
"For that? You definitely did," Morgana added, sticking his tongue out.
"It feels kinda weird that we never ended up talking at all last year," Ryuji added, almost a mumble, definitely an uncommonly thoughtful tone for the boisterous jock. "I mean, it makes sense I guess, we aren't in any classes together or anything."
Ann shrugged. "We never really had any friends in common. Plus, you slotted pretty well into–" And then she cut herself off, wincing at not realizing her blunder sooner.
"–into the track team," Ryuji finished. He didn't sound upset in the slightest. A little bitter, almost, but clearly not at Ann. "I'm not ashamed of that. It was a goddamn dumb decision, but s'not like I could have known any better."
Ren nodded. "Yeah. No one did." He glanced towards Ann, hoping the implication would be clear. She couldn't have known, either.
Yusuke glanced at the other Thieves, and shifted in place. "If you're comfortable sharing, Ryuji, I don't believe you ever..."
"Oh!" The jock sat up with haste that made Ren feel queasy by proxy. "Shit, of course. We know all about your past and stuff. It'd be pretty weird to not tell you about mine, at least." Ryuji cracked his neck. "Uh. I mean, it's real different, but it's not a happy story either."
Ren scooted a little closer to the blond, making sure to respect his personal space, but still offering his presence.
Ryuji glanced towards Ren, smiled with his eyes, and then turned back to Yusuke. "So, as soon as I got into Shujin, I started trying out for the track team. I'd done some running in middle school, and I wanted to make things easier on my mom cause she was raising me all on her own and stuff. So, I was aiming for a track scholarship, ya know?" He shrugged. "Well, I got on the team. Which was all fine and fancy for a lil while, but then bout halfway through last year, Kamoshida gets brought on to coach."
"I see," Yusuke said, with a sober recognition in his voice.
Ryuji stretched out one leg, bringing his other knee towards his chest. "He sucked up the old coach, even made me kinda like and trust the guy, despite how hard he was on us. The whole time though, he keeps giving the volleyball teams all this special attention, while he pushes everyone else so hard that half the teams end up quitting." He lowered his gaze to the floor. "I mean, he'd fuck with the volleyballers too, don't get me wrong. But he wanted them to win no matter what. He just wanted us to quit. Then, right as soon as the old coach leaves Shujin, he starts getting physical." Ryuji laughed, short and sharp. "No one said anything, for months. None of us wanted to get it worse, but we didn't wanna quit neither, so we sucked it up."
"Mishima and Shiho felt the same way," Ann added, quietly. "Everyone did."
Ryuji nodded. "Then, the bastard starts talking shit about my mom." He chuckled again, drier than angry. "I mean, he'd busted my nose all over my face one time, but I only lost my shit after he started telling everyone about how my dad had treated her. I dunno how he even found out, but he wanted a reaction and he damn well got it." There was no humor in his smile. "Next thing I know, I'm on the ground with a broken leg."
Ren felt sick, a bitter sort of awful in the pit of his stomach. Without even willing it, he reached over and took Ryuji's hand, rolling his thumb over the jock's palm.
And Ryuji's fingers tightened around Ren's. "I heard later I'd punched him in the head, and he broke my leg in 'self defense.' S'what he told everyone anyway. Apparently, he walked around with a big-ass black eye the whole next week." Almost a smirk, and then it was gone. "I wish I could have seen it. Spent a damn long time in the hospital, and my leg was shit even after that. Still can't run, not that it really matters, since Kobayakawa canned the whole track team cause of me."
"That's awful," Morgana mewled.
"It wasn't your fault," Ren said, quietly. Still staring down at his hand, at their hands together.
"Yeah," Ryuji mumbled back. "I know. But, thanks."
"And those assholes from the team kept talking shit about you, even after we changed Kamoshida's heart," Ann added, no small amount of fury in her tone.
Ryuji shrugged. "I don't expect 'em to be grateful, they were working their asses off too and I went and slugged the coach–"
"Fuck that," she fired back. Firm, and kind, and furious. "Fuck. That. Kamoshida was an abusive bastard and I'm not saying they didn't try hard, but that doesn't mean they get to pretend like it's your damn fault. You got scapegoated Ryuji, and they're pieces of shit for buying into that."
It was quiet in the attic for what felt like minutes. Then, Ryuji started chuckling. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, you're right. Fuck 'em." He squeezed Ren's hand tight. "I've got you guys, who needs those assholes?"
Morgana giggled too, a little awkwardly. "Well said, Ryuji," he added.
It wasn't quite uncomfortable after that, but it was definitely quiet once more.
"I had my own reasons for wanting to change his heart," Ann said, her words somewhat strained. She shifted on the couch, pulling her legs up into a criss-cross. "Kamoshida held my best friend to ransom to get me to sleep with him." Get. Not try. Ren felt a wave of disgust and sympathy wash over him in equal measures. "And when I finally told him to fuck off, he abused her so bad she..." Ann's voice caught, and she took a deep breath.
"Shiho Suzui?" Yusuke asked, quiet and careful.
Ann nodded. "She was on the volleyball team and we were best friends, are best friends. Kamoshida decided he wanted to get with me, so he started offering to go to lunch together, drive me to and from my shoots. Just little stuff. And Shiho was struggling so hard, I just thought...yeah, sure, why not. Butter up the coach, that's harmless." She laughed, dry as sawdust and eight times as bitter. "Turns out, saying yes once to a guy who can't take no for an answer...not exactly a good plan."
"It was him," Ryuji said, as firm as Ann had been just a little before. "It was all Kamoshida. Not your fault, not her fault. Just his."
Ann took a deep breath. She nodded. "I know. It still... fucks me up. But I know it wasn't my fault. It wasn't hers either, when he hurt her." Arms crossed over her chest, almost hugging herself. Yusuke shifted, almost looking like he was going to get up and join her, but Ann quickly shook her head. "Please, just...some space. It's not you, I'm just...I'm sorry–"
"Nothing at all to be sorry for," Yusuke said. He settled back down. "Whatever you need. We're friends."
"Thank you," she said, with a little smile. Another deep breath. "I hate that everything happened how it did. I don't know, maybe I could have refused him that first time, maybe then Shiho would have just gotten cut from the team and–" She cut herself off. "No, no that's dumb. He didn't hurt her just because I wouldn't let him rape me again." Ann closed her eyes. "He said himself in his Palace. She was trying to keep me from getting hurt, the same way I was. We were both...he played us. Both of us."
"He was your teacher," Morgana said, quietly. "He wasn't playing fair from the start." He hopped up onto the couch, still giving Ann a breadth of space.
She smiled, her shoulders dropped. "You're right, Morgana. He wasn't playing fair at all." She reached over to ruffle his head, and Ren watched her relax in real time. Cat or not, the guy sure fit 'therapy entity' to a fucking T.
Ren took a glance towards Ryuji, hoping to get to see another smile from him, and was surprised to find Yusuke's calm and piercing gaze meeting his. "Uh. What's up?"
"Oh!" Yusuke said, and averted his eyes. "My apologies. I was simply expecting..." He trailed off.
Oh, right. "My story too, yeah?"
"Huh," Morgana said, blinking slowly. "I don't think you've ever told it to us before, have you?"
"I told Ryuji," Ren said, and he felt his face sort of heat up at the admission. He suddenly became acutely aware that he was still holding Ryuji's hand. It almost made him want to let go, but he didn't. "But I'm happy to tell you three."
Ann offered the softest smile he'd ever seen. Morgana plopped down next to her, blinking slowly at Ren. Yusuke shifted on the floor, pivoting to face Ren fully. And Ryuji squeezed his hand; not letting go either.
Being the center of attention was still sort of awful, but here? With them? There were far worse things. "I grew up in kind of middle of nowhere, Yamanashi, but I went to school in Okutama."
Ryuji let out a low whistle. "Shit, I didn't know you lived in a whole different prefecture."
Ren shrugged. "It's not too far outside of Tokyo. I took the train all through middle school, it wasn't that bad." He shook his head, not letting himself get distracted. "But, yeah. Last year of junior high, I end up staying behind real late one day and my parents tell me I can stay the night with a friend who lived pretty close to school." The memory was pretty hazy, but some bits were clear. Just single silent moments, like trying to piece together a picture from shreds.
"I guess I ended up getting a little lost, cause it's dark before I find my way there. And then there was this guy..." He paused, less out of hesitation, more out of difficulty. "I can't really see much, I think the streetlight was out right there. But there's this real drunk guy yelling at some woman to get in a car." Ren closed his eyes, trying to visualize the scene, trying to remember. "I thought she was in danger, so I went over. I think he might have heard a siren or something, cause he was really antsy. Told me to get lost, and grabbed her arm, and I guess I pulled him off her. Then he's on the ground, and he's got a big cut on his face. And the cops show up."
Ryuji had heard the story before, but his grip still tightened on Ren's hand.
Ren squeezed back. "The guy said I assaulted him out of nowhere. And the woman agreed, said I pushed him. So, yeah. They arrested me."
"They arrested a middle-schooler?" Yusuke's tone was angry, but not quite surprised.
Ren nodded. "The rest is even more of a blur. I spend the next year in juvie." The skin across his left wrist itched, and he pretended it didn't exist. That part of the story was still his alone. "I got out on parole, got sent back to my parents. But Sojiro apparently knows a friend of my parents, so I get to stay here instead of–" The word died on his tongue. He'd intended to say 'home,' but he couldn't bring himself to. There was something so very wrong about the statement, something that turned his stomach. So he said nothing.
"That's awful," Ann muttered. "Ren, I'm sorry." She let out a long breath. "Now I feel super dumb for ever believing that you'd actually attacked someone."
Ren found himself smiling. "You thought that?"
Ann shrugged, looking utterly sheepish. "I mean, kinda! I just assumed you had a good reason for it. I mean, you helped us change Kamoshida's heart even though you didn't have any history with him. I figured you did the same there."
"I wasn't there to see Kamoshida's Palace crumble," Yusuke added, "but I can definitely attest to your bravery. You almost died protecting us all, I don't know many people who'd be capable of the same. If you hadn't told me, I might well assume you'd been jailed for a valiant display of heroism."
Morgana nodded. "I put my trust in you for a reason," he said. "A Persona is an echo of your inner self, and yours was born fighting. You might not have done anything a year ago, but you sure are doing a lot right now."
"Plus," Ryuji added, "not to knock any of our shit, cause we all worked our ass off, but Ren? You worked your ass off. I mean, if you hadn't already told me, I'd probably have thought you kicked that drunk guy's teeth in too."
Ren couldn't help but laugh. He didn't expect the mood to lighten so quickly, but he felt completely absent of the somber tension that had gripped him earlier. He was safe. He squeezed Ryuji's hand as tight as he could. Here, here he was safe. And he decided he didn't ever want to leave.
