Here's the proper christmas chapter!
Ring the bells, ring the bells, for Kris Kringle's here,
All the Grimm have better flee from all this festive cheer!
Ring the bells, ring the bells, he's got gifts for all,
Thieves or whores or murderers, he's got one for you all!
Jaune thought himself normal. Some may dispute that claim and in that hypothetical situation where someone might call him abnormal, he'd laugh it off and ask for the reasoning. Then that hypothetical person would start with his nigh suicidal amounts of recklessness regarding how he even started his career, then they'd point out his penchant for being involved in bizarrely deadly situations, then they'd talk about the ungodly amount of Grimm that have tried (and thankfully failed) to kill him, then they'd point out the whole saga of magic hunting which nearly got him killed more times than he could count, and then there was Darling's very existence. And then they'd point out that this hypothetical conversation was also a manifestation of his weirdness, to which he'd laugh it off and say that was all relatively normal.
Anyways, he liked to think himself normal.
Even as he was riding a magical sleigh in order to deliver presents to all the people of Remnant.
"Shut up Darling." Jaune was cradling his face with his palm, trying to smudge his features out of shame.
"HAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Darling, well, she was quite amused with how things turned out. "S-s-sorry, this is just so silly! I wish I had one of those 'scrolls' so I could capture this moment forever!" Eventually, her laughter died down. "O-ok, well, at the very least, this solves your most pressing issue, does it not?"
"I guess." Jaune sighed, but let a giddy smile overtake his features. "Yea! It does!" He let out a few nervous chuckles, letting his muscles relax as the cold Solitanian winter bit at his cheeks.
You see, it was the day before Giving Day when all of his troubles began. He had been on a month-long hunt, searching for the perfect presents for all of his friends and family. And when he had finally collected everything, he realized he had taken so long that it was the day before Giving Day. And he promised mom that he'd be home. And an Arc never breaks their word. So, he had to deliver presents to his gaggle of friends across the world while also getting back home to Ansel the next day.
The problem was that he was in the Solitanian tundra, which was, believe it or not, quite far away. Compounding the issue was the fact that to get one of the presents, he had to go into the infamously dangerous Everfrost area, which was, as the name implied, a region of Solitas that had an eternal blizzard going on. Long story short, he found the magical sleigh of Kris Kringle and was going to save Giving Day.
His Giving Day. That and his family's. Well, he was also going to deliver some presents around Remnant. Why not?
Anyways, Darling had helpfully explained that the sleigh was stupidly fast and effectively allowed them to make the flight across Remnant. Apparently, the magic in it was only active on the night before Giving Day, which meant that it could really only be used for delivering presents or a very specific long distance cab. As for the presents, they were provided by a magical sack that somehow provided toys when needed.
"Now, what's with all the fuss about this Kris Kringle?" Oh yea, Darling had been locked in a deck of cards for god knows how long.
"Well, Kris Kringle is sort of the face of Giving Day. You see, many years ago, Kris Kringle had committed a grave crime. For it, he was banished to the mountains. And it was there he lived for many years, developing his talents. Eventually, he had made a collection of toys of all shapes and sizes. But without children to play with them, they were but decorations. So, at Giving Day, he snuck back in on a sleigh carrying all the toys, where upon he'd spread them all to pay his debt back to the world." Jaune had heard that and many other winter fables at the fire. Juniper Arc wasn't superstitious, but she was a very good storyteller, and she wanted her kids to grow up with stars in their eyes.
"Hmm, interesting." Darling maintained a smirk as she sat besides Jaune. "Hmmm, you don't look the part." Jaune really didn't. He was still wearing his armor, this time loaded with fire dust to keep him warm.
"I mean, I got this hat!" He put on a red winter hat. "Isn't it cool?" He had found it in the sleigh.
"Ehh, I suppose." A beat. "Let me see your cloak."
"My cloak?" Jaune had taken to wearing the desert cloak as part of his normal attire, it helped in keeping his armor from becoming an oven or freezer respectively. "Sure." He handed it over and with a tap, it was overtaken with bright and vivid red, with white cotton trims forming on it. "Woah!" He pulled it back, surprised at how fast the change was spreading. Eventually, he looked like a teenage version of Kris Kringle. "What did you do?"
"Just a little illusion to sell the look. And, to add to that-" Darling snapped and suddenly, her outfit changed. She became dressed in similar red and white clothing, though hers didn't feature a cloak, instead she wore an ugly winter sweater featuring dice, as well as a nice bright red dress that covered her legs. Darling smiled a bit brighter upon seeing her handywork. "Now, where to first?"
"Huh, I thought you said the Atlesians celebrated Last Light, not Giving Day." First, they spread out to all the potato farms across Solitas. In many of them, they had seen by the crackling fire a stool with treats for Kris Kringle. They varied wildly, from hot milk and cookies, coffee and wafers, juice and fried potato pancakes, they were all present and they were all welcomed by Jaune's mouth. He did make sure to leave half, just in case the actual Kris Kringle wanted some. And after eating the offering, he would reach into the sack and place a present by the fire, though not too close as to damage it with heat.
"Apparently, they do both." Anyways, Darling had gotten bored and decided to join him as he committed breaking and entering repeatedly. "Giving Day travels far, pretty much every kingdom celebrates it now. I blame movies." Jaune shrugged. "Whatever, more presents." As for the presents themselves, they were mundane, but nice things. Dolls, toy weapons, some spending money, jewelry, and one guy just wanted a potato peeler. He placed them all with care, making sure not to disturb anything that he didn't need to.
Anyways, on their countryside tour of Solitas, they didn't exactly go unnoticed.
"Kris Kringle?" A sleepy little farmgirl had woken up and was staring at the patch of darkness from where she heard a creaking board.
"Uh, yea?" Jaune spoke in the deepest and silliest voice he could imagine.
"You're here?" The girl, who had been rubbing their eyes, stared widely at the darkness. "You're here!" And joy overtook her. "Yay-!"
"Shhhhh." Jaune really didn't want to get caught in this position. No way would the courts listen to his convoluted explanation. Plus, even if his intentions were benevolent, he definitely was guilty of breaking and entering on like, fifty hundred different accounts. "Yes, I'm here. So, uh." Darling jabbed him in the side, whispering for him to do something. "The cookies were very delicious."
"Really!?" The girl, even though she was extremely excited, did at the very least keep her tone somewhat quiet, as to not wake up her parents. "Thanks! I made them!" Well, she made a good fudge chocolate chip.
"Yes. Now, I'll be leaving the presents by the fire. Please don't look until the morning, or else Krampus will get you." Not likely, he killed it. But, the girl didn't know that, so she nodded and yawned before tip-toeing back to sleep.
They had many close encounters. Many light sleepers, others who stayed up, and one little guy tried making a trap! The only reason why the drugged cookies didn't work was because his aura fought off the effects.
"What's that?" In one of the houses, Darling stopped to point at a log with a face painted on it.
"That, is a log." Beat. "Its called a Shit Log, and its a part of a Solitanian tradition involving beating up a log until it poops candy." Beat. "The children whack it while singing a song until it poops out a rotten fish, pees a bowl of water, or just poops out dust." Beat. "No, I am not making any of this up. Winter told me about it."
Darling, for once, was out of words. Where cheating, magic, insanity, and death didn't stop her, a fucking log did.
"Ok." She took a deep breath and clasped her hands together. "But why?"
"..." Jaune paused to think. Then, he pulled out his scroll and searched it up. For a couple minutes, Jaune was on an archive binge just searching for a single clue. Leads turned into loops which turned into dead ends which turned into forks which turned into more loops and more dead ends. Eventually, he did get an answer. "We don't know."
"..."
"We just don't know."
...
Anyways, the work of Kris Kringle wasn't limited to delivering presents, oh no, it was far more than that. Grimm, on top of already chasing after Darling, also went after the sleigh, which meant that Jaune had to put his skills to hard work. Darling also pitched in, by shooting her very nice looking revolver that she called 'Ace of Spades,' mostly because she didn't want to waste any time. Apparently, it could turn into one of six other forms. But for now, she was just using it as a revolver.
Eventually, the winter Nevermore just go so annoying that they put the sleigh on land. Luckily, its frankly ridiculous speeds weren't hampered by friction.
As they traveled across the Solitanian countryside, Jaune gained a newfound appreciation for the sheer scale of the farming operation.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Jaune was looking out from their sleight at the fields upon fields of potatoes, all growing in the frigid snow. Rotations and careful scheduling done so the land wouldn't be overused, but also tight enough so that nothing was wasted.
"Yes, in a way, it is. Though I like the more vibrant places myself. Mistral comes to mind."
"That's just cause Mistral has the flashiest casinos." Jaune playful slugged Darling in the shoulder, who chuckled and returned the motion.
"Pachinko parlors, not casinos." She smiled and while she was right, there was very little distinction between the two. Quite some time ago, Mistral outlawed gambling in a broader 'morality' movement. It failed horribly. Places with Pachinko opened up for those who wanted to gamble without breaking the law and basement and attic games hosted and backed by organized crime was there for those who didn't mind skirting with criminality.
"Sure." Jaune rolled his eyes. "Anyways, that's all of the farms, right?" Jaune was looking at a scroll map he had downloaded, he had been using it as a guide for their nightly excursion.
"I think so."
"Well, I guess all thats left is-"
"Atlas itself." Jaune sighed.
As they delivered presents in Mantle, Jaune was starting to wonder why stories made out Kris Kringle to be fat. It was pretty nonsensical considering the ridiculous amount of work that delivering presents across Remnant took. Anyways, they kept on using the sleigh, mostly for traveling from building to building. Time itself seemed to be extra long on Giving Day's eve, but Jaune wouldn't question it, since it allowed him to do his work in peace.
Anyways, living conditions in Mantle were shit.
Ok, that wasn't fa-actually, that was pretty generous. Most Mantlese would call it worse than shit. The apartments Jaune snuck through were dingy, cold, usually wet, but they always had little things. Small decorations, pictures, many had store bought cookies or other treats on the table for him, which he took and savored. The gifts were pretty normal, headsets, scrolls, one guy wanted a laptop, nice clothes, toys of all kinds, books, games, and etc. Many just wanted lien, which was entirely fair.
"It's beautiful." Darling was dumbfounded as she looked at the cityscape of the night, with countless strings of lights basking Mantle in red and white.
"I think those are festive lights." Jaune smiled as he looked down from the roof. It was night in Mantle, but in the cities, life never truly stopped. Even though most had gone to sleep, some still stayed up. In clubs, with friends, and some just wandered the streets.
Anyways, in their gift run of Mantle, they had plenty of odd encounters. In particular-
"RAISE A GLASS TO FREEDOOM!" A huntress team was singing karaoke in their hideout, piss drunk. So drunk that they noticed him and did not, in fact, shoot him with their weapons. Instead, one of them yelled, "HEY! C'MON! JOIN IN!" And raised another glass. Jaune, after leaving some presents (a nice scarf, a hairbrush, a book, and some expensive makeup), did join in on the karaoke session, Darling also pitched in with the chorus as they sang some holiday songs.
Darling also had a shit eating grin on her face because she was recording a somewhat tipsy Jaune singing his heart out with a group of exponentially more drunk huntresses.
Anyways, eventually she had to drag him out so they could get back to doing their job. Well, not job, more so their self appointed task.
Besides the apartments, Jaune left gifts in the homeless shelters as well. It was usually lien they asked for, though some wanted things like a letter from family, pictures, or other keepsakes.
Anyways, right as Jaune was starting to get annoyed with having to bring the sleigh everywhere, he realized how useful it was when they needed to go to Atlas in a jiffy. The sleigh took them there in seconds, where upon they began spreading the gifts to all those living up on the floating city.
By all accounts, it was just like delivering presents in Mantle, though most houses were considerably warmer. A notable instance came about when he had to deliver presents to the Schnee Manor. On top of all of the live-in servants getting their gifts, he had to sneak through security patrols in order to give the residents of the place their gifts in their comically large house.
"Oops." Jaune had walked into one room, a little boy's in particular, and found a butler-looking man setting a present down. He had noticed the intruder as well.
"..." They were staring each other down, bewildered eyes meeting bewildered eyes.
"Happy Giving Day." Jaune walked in a few steps, set down the white haired boy's present, and walked away. The act was so audacious that the butler didn't think to give chase.
Anyways, Mantle and Atlas were just the warm up courses. The real test in Jaune's skill in sneaking while carrying a comically large sack of presents came when he needed to sneak into Atlas academy. It was the military academy for soldiers, hunters, and also had a barracks for the specialists. It was home to a few thousand, one of them being Winter, who he had a present for on top of whatever Kris Kringle's sack had.
Sneaking into it would be a very difficult task, mostly because of the security measures that were in place. Luckily, since the sleigh didn't have a dust engine signature, he got past the anti-air measures just fine. Unfortunately, the sleigh could not help him against every other security measure.
"Oh brothers." Jaune began sweating as he nervously opened a window into one of the dorms. He felt kind of creepy at the moment, if he was being entirely honest.
He shrugged it off and continued to go in, might as well commit to the bit.
Anyways, the presents were pretty unique, which was standard for hunters. One guy wanted some old music sheets, another wanted new wheels for roller skates, and another wanted some earrings.
"Hello-" Jaune, fairly spooked, muffled a student whose eyes snapped open when he was reaching for her present inside the sack. After realizing what he was doing, Jaune lowered his hand. "-is this what kidnapping is?"
"Uhhh." Jaune looked to Darling for help, only to realize she had fucked off and was eating cookies. "No?" Jaune spoke with the most unconvincing tone possible.
"Ok!" A pause. "Who are you?"
"Uhhhhhhhh." Jaune's eyes darted everywhere for a possible answer, though he eventually settled on what seemed plausible. "Kris Kringle's little helper." Ok, plausible to him.
"According to analytics on average height, you are not little!" Jaune gulped, his already nonexistent cover was being blown! "But ok!" Phew.
"Yep." Jaune tugged at his collar, awkward silence followed. "So, did you want anything for Giving Day?"
"Hmmmmm." A puzzled look overcame her. "Maybe a betta fish?" Jaune complied, reaching into the sack until he pulled out a betta fish plush. Eh, close enough. From the (somehow literal) stars in the girl's eyes, she probably was also very satisfied.
"H-huh, Penny, is that you?" Groggy mumbles came from the bed across the room and Jaune's muscles tensed up, he had forgotten this was a group dorm.
"Alright, make sure to not touch it until Giving Day morning, alright? Or else Krampus will come and get you." The spooky voice was a bit undercut by the nervous high pitched squeal Jaune let out as he ran for the Window.
Anyways, he gave presents to all in the academy. To the studetns, the staff, the soldiers, and even the headmaster! And hoo boy, was that a nervewracking experience as he had to avoid several layers of security lasers while carrying an expensive bottle of whiskey. And the cherry on top of the stress sundae was delivering presents to the Specialists, who had the funny habbit of booby trapping their rooms.
Still, he managed to get through it all with only one stab wound. A whetstone, boxing gloves, bonsai snippers, a set of die, and a travel guide for Mistral were set by the beds of the Specialists. And by Winter's in specific, he added his own personal gift; something he had to get Fior to make.
"You know what, this is pretty fun." Double checking to see that they didn't miss a soul in Atlas or Mantle, Jaune hopped back into the sleigh, the sack of goodies loaded behind. Darling took her seat and kicked up her feet, smiling just the same.
"Yea, it is."
From there, they headed over to Anima. It was a big place with plenty of people, but they still had plenty of time. Unlike Solitas, where pretty much every place besides Mantle and Atlas was a rural farming village, Anima's outposts were a bit more varied in nature. There were many farming villages, yes, but there were also fishing ones, a few towns that had industrial sectors, and other sorts of things. The kingdom walls of Mistral definitely didn't have the same power of Mantle or Atlas, but that was because it wasn't all centralized in one city.
"Jeez, it took a while to find this." Anyways, besides giving gifts to all the people of the countryside of Anima, he also had a few people that he wanted to track down.
First of all, Maria Calavera. He kept an eye on the waters just in case she was on a river, but nope! The Shadeferry was parked in a small village's dock, still as rickety as ever. He fished out the gift he got for Maria and placed it next to the one from the bag. She also left some food, probably for Kris Kringle, so he ate it.
He also went to Oscar's house and decided to check up on the guy. He climbed through the window to see Oscar asleep at his desk, the lamp still on. Jaune carried Oscar back to bed just before his notebook could get wet from his drool. Said notebook had a lot of different notes, it seemed like Oscar wasn't giving up on the whole magic thing, given how much he was experimenting. Jaune smiled, at least Oscar was doing it from the safety of his own home.
Anyways, there were also cookies and a glass of milk on the nightstand, which Jaune partook in before leaving the presents, both from Kris Kringle and from him, on the study.
He also went to Argus, mostly to deliver presents, but also to deliver his gift to Saphron, Terra, and Adrian. The little guy even woke up and got a look at Jaune, who merely stuck out his tongue and left the present by his crib.
Finally, he went to the orphanage he left Gil at. It was a whole adventure inofitself to find a good one for him. From the looks of it, he had adapted pretty well to his new situation. For him, Jaune left his gift at the foot of his bed, just like all the other kids.
Besides those personal visits, Jaune and Darling toured Anima. The weather was significantly warmer than that of Solitas and since the forest was so dense, they had to fly. Still, it was by no means hot, it was very cold.
"They say on Giving Day night, the Grimm cower as Kris Kringle approaches." Jaune chuckled to himself as he hopped out of the sleigh, Crocea Mors shimmering under the broken moon. "After all, what better present than to save a village from a Grimm attack?" They had come across one or two small frontier outposts that had large amounts of Grimm lurking nearby, probably readying themselves for an assault. In the spirit of the holidays, he got rid of them. No need to let more work be made for the hunters.
"Hey, Jaune?" Darling struck up a conversation as they rode under the moon.
"Yea?"
"You said your mentor was from Anima, right?"
"Yea, he was."
"Well, may we meet him?" Jaune thought about it before shrugging.
"Maybe. He doesn't really live anywhere. Plus, if I did, he'd definitely wake up. He hasn't survived this long by being a deep sleeper. And how would I explain to him who you are, why I'm wearing this, and why I'm in his hotel room." Jaune chuckled, that would be one hell of a conversation. One that he wasn't ready to have. "But just in case I come across him, I got a present."
"Oh, what is it?"
"Heh, sorry, want to keep it a surprise."
Much to his surprise, he did end up finding Raiden in a hotel room. The problem was that Jaune wasn't kidding, Raiden was a light sleeper. When they travelled together, the man barely got any sleep because practically anything could wake him up at a moment's notice. And if he spotted anyone, they would get a blade to the throat and stern questioning. And that would lead to the worst case scenario: Raiden learning what the hell Jaune was up to.
Jaune didn't want that to happen for the same reason children generally didn't tell their parents jack; because explaining it would mean saying some of the silliest crap imaginable. Things always sounded weirder when spoken aloud, after all.
Eventually, Jaune gave up on trying to approach the bed after a fly tried to do so and got sliced by Raiden in his sleep. With some mocking from Darling, he just left it by the door.
After that, they moved onto the kingdom walls of Mistral.
The city's architecture was fairly bizzare. It was like Vacuo in a sense, where modernity and traditional buildings clashed. The mountainside kingdom's buildings were, for the most part, very old. Many of the ones on the lower level were extremely ramshackle and definitely violated some building codes. But, Jaune was Kris Kringle('s helper), not a safety inspector.
Anyways, he gave out presents all the same. Though there were some odd encounters.
"Why, hello there." When he walked into one of the bars he was hitting up, he was greeted by a blonde lady with a fan sitting down. It looked as if she was alone, but Jaune could feel eyes on him. Luckily, he had taken to wearing a fake beard since he was committing to the whole breaking and entering bit, and the hat was hiding his hair.
"Uh, hello?" Jaune purposefully squeezed his voice, trying to be as unrecognizable as possible.
"May I ask what you're coming in for? Is it a drink?" Jaune was feeling incredibly uncomfortable.
"... I'm just going to leave the presents here." Jaune reached into the sack and placed them on the table until he couldn't find anything more for the people in the house. Before anyone could say anything else, Jaune bolted out of the bar, saying, "Don't touch it until morning or else Krampus will get you!" as he went.
After delivering goodies to all the boys, girls, and those who don't apply for either in Mitral, he went up to Haven Academy. Fortunately, the place didn't have security measures that would make a doomsday preparer blush. Unfortunately, there were a ridiculous amount of people staying up at night for Giving Day.
"Woahhhh, its Kris Kringle!" One student who was, for some reason, showing off their glorious abs in the middle of winter, had caught him when he was trying to place presents for all the students in the commons room. He was placing them all in the commons room for the express purpose of avoiding the risk of going into every single students' room. "Hey! What did you get me for Giving Day, huh?"
"..." Jaune gulped.
"C'mon Kringle, answer the man." Darling was there this time and had a shit eating grin as Jaune had to force himself to speak in the most comically jolly way imaginable.
"That's a surprise for next morning! But before I leave, don't you have anything to give me?"
"Huh, oh, yea!" The monkey tailed man walked out and Jaune continued to place presents around the room. There were a comical amount. The students would have a 'fun' time sorting whose belonged to who. Luckily, they came with postage. Eventually, the guy came back with a vending machine cookie. "Here ya go!"
"Thanks!" Jaune took it, unwrapped it, and ate the cookie as he stacked the mountains of presents. The man, as opposed to going to sleep like a normal guy, decided to chat up the man who had a comically large sack of presents.
"I always knew you were real! Neptune was being such a downer when he called you a made-up legend. Bah, what does he know? He said that you can't possibly be real, since you'd have to be like thousands of years old! And then he said that the presents he got for Giving Day were just from his parents. Buzzkill! Luckily, Sage was on my side! Did you hear the singing!? We were soooo good!" The guy was just chatting up a storm as Jaune continued stacking presents. He felt as if he was in a pit of vipers and was just waiting to get attacked for breaking and entering.
"I'm sure you were."
"Hah! I'll have to tell Arslan that you thought it was good. She said that it made her ears bleed." At last, Jaune had finished stacking all the presents. They made a small mountain in the commons room. Just one touch and it'd collapse. "Oh, you're leaving? Well, have a good night, see you at class!" And with that, the buff blonde guy left for his dorm.
"Not. A. Word." Jaune massaged his face as Darling barely held in her laughter. The last thoughts he had as he left were that the student probably thought he was a teacher in disguise or something.
Looking at the map, Jaune could've gone to Vale, then Vacuo, then home, but there were a few problems. First, he would ideally end in Vale, since he was ending up there anyways. Second of all, that was disregarding two major continents: Menagerie and the Grimm Continent. He was heading to Menagerie and, on his altered course, he would then go around the world to head to Vacuo, then head north to the Grimm Continent to visit that weird castle. Finally, he'd go to Vale and after delivering the presents there, he'd go home.
Anyways, Menagerie had only one outpost, though it was basically a minor kingdom walls in all but name. Kuo Kuana was vibrant. And unlike the cities, where their nightlife was illuminated by neon, the Faunus lit up the place with lanterns of all colors as they danced away the night. The beaches were packed as a holiday dance party was undergone, open air bars had customers coming and going, and everyone had a chance to relax.
Despite the activity, Jaune continued to commit breaking and entering.
Ok, most of the time.
For one heavily guarded manor, Jaune decided to knock on the door. Maybe a different approach would work.
"Hello?" A black haired cat faunus opened and her eyes opened upon seeing the legend himself. "Kris Kringle!?"
"Yep." A pause as Jaune rummaged through the gift sack. Eventually, he pulled out two items. "Uhhhh, I have a whip for one Kali Belladonna, and a neck pillow for one Ghira Belladonna."
...
"Ok, thank you." Who he assumed to be Kali took the presents, a bit shocked. "Uh, you're Kris Kringle, correct?"
"Yes ma'am, I just didn't feel like contending with your guards." Jaune sighed, what was his life now?
"Oh." Kali giggled, covering a smirk. "That was a wise choice. But, if you really are Kris Kringle-" Darling moved aside so Kali could see the sleigh they parked outside the manor. "-then could you do me a little favor?"
"I'm listening." Kali took a moment to grab something inside her house. Eventually she came out, holding a wrapped gift.
"Please, deliver this for my daughter, Blake Belladonna. I've no clue where she is, but wherever she is, I want you to give this to her." Kali bowed down while holding it out, truly begging.
"One second." Jaune had learned that if he thought about a specific name while reaching in, he could find out what their gift was. Eventually, he pulled out something for Blake. "Yea, I can do that." He took the present easily and noted the postage said 'From Mom.'
"Really!? Thanks! Why don't you come in for a little treat?" Kali offered a warm smile that actually tempted Jaune to do so.
"Oh, uh, I'm a bit busy." Jaune scratched the back of his head. He was tempted, really tempted.
"Please! My husband would be so happy to meet you!" A few more pokes and prods and Jaune gave in.
What followed was a very delightful meal he was treated to by the Belladonna family. Ghira, in specific, seemed interested in what he was doing. Anyways, he did have to leave after he had his light late dinner and coffee.
Anyways, after another close encounter in a White Fang base, Jaune had finished up with all of Menagerie and departed once more.
The Vacuan deserts sucked, but at night they sucked less. And at night while flying? Then they were as scenic and tranquil as any of the other kingdoms. Ravagers were still annoying, but Darling had lent him her gun and he was having a fun time shooting the bats with the improbably high caliber revolver she had.
Anyways, gifts were given like candy as they flew across the western part of Sannus. After he was done with the countryside, making sure to hit every village and town, he got moved onto Vacuo.
It seemed that everyone was in good cheer, smiling and laughing and partying through the night while the children slept. And it was while they did that when Jaune snuck in and delivered all the presents.
Anyways, the real challenge came when he went to Shade Academy. Cause the Vacuan winter was cold. Stupid cold. So stupidly cold that snow could actually fall and the only problem was the lack of humidity. So, someone covered Shade Academy in snow. And what happens when you put a bunch of supernaturally powerful children in a large and ornate environment with snow? Supernaturally powerful children trained to fight?
You get ridiculous amounts of snowball fights. So ridiculous that the students had forgone sleep in favor of continuing their snowy warfare. The only people exempt were the ones manning the snow machines and the ones sleeping.
Jaune had to navigate through this in his costume with his ridiculously large sack of presents with Darling in order to deliver all the presents. Luckily, the common room wasn't the site of any battles, so he was free to put all the presents there. On top of everything from the sack, he also placed something for May down.
The Grimm Continent, the one ominously shaped like a dragon, was pretty much deserted. Did that mean nobody lived there? No! Of course not, it just meant that very few people lived there.
There was a castle though, one he vaguely knew the location of.
Oh well, he had a duty to fufill.
So, he snuck in through a window, avoided some weird Grimm, and finally made it to some sort of dining room. There was a long table made of some weird and jagged material. The chairs were also fairly peculiar. Whatever, Jaune pulled presents until he couldn't anymore and placed them on the table.
And then he felt a blade come near his throat.
"Well then, what do we have here?" A voice slithered through his ear. That weird guy was holding a blade to his throat and was whispering into his side. "An intruder? A blasphemer? State your name, its been so long since we've had a guest."
"Uh, Kris Kringle?"
"..."
"..."
"Really?" Jaune nodded and like that, the blade dropped. "Really!?" Jaune turned around to see a fully grown man with wide eyes. "OH! I never thought this day would come! PRAISE THE GODDESS! YES YES YES!" He began excitedly hopping up and down, brightly smiling. "Is that mine!?" He pointed towards one of the gifts, one of which was labelled with his name.
"Uh, yes, but don't open it or else Krampus will-"
"Get me in my sleep and tear apart my organs before using them to play the melodies of the holidays? Yes I know! And even though that sounds like a very interesting experience, I will heed your wisdom, oh lord of one night." Jaune was still suffering a bit of whiplash. "Hmmm, but what did the others get? Like that dullard Hazel or the pompous duo. Please tell me they got coal, they deserve coal for being so horrendously uncooperative, compromising the goddess' wishes with their fighting."
Jaune looked to the presents, but didn't see any coal. "I guess you'll see in the morning?"
"Hmmm, I could always just give them coal myself. Its a mystery as to why I haven't already." The man put a hand to his chin before bending back so much that Jaune was pretty sure his spine would snap. Then, he flung forward, spooking Jaune a bit. "Oh! Yes! You've given a present to my mistress! But what could be in the box!?" Jaune really didn't know. "Hmmm, if this gift is insufficient, I will hunt you down to your base in Solitas and murder you, do I make myself clear?"
"Uhhhhhh."
"Do I? I find that sometimes people don't understand what I'm saying."
"Yep."
"Good! Now, I foolishly forgot to make some cookies, so just sit right there as I prepare them!" Jaune did so, mostly because he sensed that this guy was very powerful.
As it turned out, he made very good cookies.
Finally, Jaune arrived at Vale. The eastern part of Sanus, with green fields and sleeping people.
It was a nostalgic trip as he flew over the forests and plains, seeing villages and towns, all with their lights turned off. As he flied through the air, just like in the other kingdoms, guards on the walls doing the nightshift pointed at the sky towards the flying sleigh, eyes widening. Some even noticed when it came down and a figure would drop, though they wrote it off as their minds playing tricks on them.
It was like a breath of fresh air as he went from village to village. From Combhome to Loketon, he rode.
He did find Amber, though that was on accident. Still, he had a present for her prepared and left it by her bed. He also went to Fior's and gave her a present he got for her.
And while he was delivering presents in Patch, he noticed Qrow was sleeping on the couch. With a chuckle, Jaune left the present he prepared for the dusty old hunter.
Then, he made it to the kingdom walls of Vale. It was sort of like Mantle in city design, with much of its architecture relatively modern. But, its overall standard of living was generally better than Mantle. Anyways, he went from apartment building to apartment building, placing presents by beds, on tables, and at doorstops.
One time, after he placed his present down, he turned around to see a glass of milk, illuminated by a lamp light. He shrugged and drank it, bottoms up. And when he placed the glass down, he noticed a plate of cookies that wasn't there before. After eating a few cookies, he ran like hell, carrying his sack of presents on his back.
Anyways, after Vale, he went to Beacon Academy. It was truly a breathtaking sight, something that looked like it took decades to build in full. As he was putting the presents for the students and staff, he noticed Blake Belladonna's name come up, so placed her mother's gift for her in the pile as well. As he was doing his job, the lights turned on and he was face to face with a woman, probably a teacher. Blonde hair, green eyes with bags under them, and a crop she wielded somewhat lazily.
"W-what?" She seemed to be unbelieving of what was before her and rubbed her eyes. Jaune decided to go with what usually worked.
"Hello there! I'm Kris Kringle! Are you having a good Giving's Day eve?" For some reason, Darling had decided to stay in her deck of cards for the Beacon run.
"..." Now that she was fully awake, the woman's stare grew both intense and confused. She blinked a few more times before shaking her head. "I need to make a call." He heard some groggy talking as he continued to stack the presents. When he was done, she had come back in, the bags under her eyes having fully dissipated. "Please take the elevator to the headmaster's office." She massaged her temples, this was insane.
Jaune and the woman stared at each other, at least until the woman cracked her riding crop, her stare intensifying. That's when Jaune decided to follow her orders. When he reached the top, he entered an office made of glass, showing the inner workings of a clock. And at the table was some guy with white hair.
"Ah, hello!" He held a cup of coffee and raised it to Jaune. "Kris Kringle, I presume?"
"Uh, yes?" Jaune took a seat, a bit nervous. After all, this man was clearly the headmaster of Beacon, though Jaune really didn't know who he was exactly. Really, the only reason he knew to go to Beacon was because thats where dad said he went for training. He never really spoke of anything else. And Raiden wasn't familiar with Beacon either, being from Haven himself.
"Hmmm, so this is what it feels like." The man smiled enigmatically as he seemingly stared into Jaune's very soul. "Sorry, I'm getting nostalgic." A smile beckoned his features. "Now, I suppose you have something for me?"
"O-oh, yea!" Jaune scrambled to reach inside the sack before pulling out a small gear.
"Ah, perfect."
"Yep, don't touch it until-"
"I know perfectly well. But I have no reason to fear Krampus." Jaune supposed he had a point. The man then opened his drawer to find a miniature clock. With careful hands, he opened up the inner workings of it to reveal a part missing. And with that gear, the clock worked once more, ticking in time and harmony with the other timepieces in the room. "Now, I bid you farewell, Kris Kringle." And with that, Jaune left.
And after all of that, after traveling the ends of Remnant to every single house, he had one final place to go: Ansel.
So, he took off on the sleigh for the final time and parked it in the small countryside town.
"Brings me back to spending Giving Day with the family." Jaune smiled after they finished up their deliveries in Ansel and walked towards the Arc family home.
"What's it like?"
"Hmmm, warm. You wake up excited, ten minutes later you're happy because of the present you got. Then, you spend the rest of the day happier as you and your family partake in all sorts of activities. In Ansel, there's even a small festival with games and stuff."
"Hmmm." Darling had a distant look in her eyes, as if she didn't connect.
"Do you, want to join me for the celebrations? The family already know about you." To that, Darling smiled.
"That would be nice."
Halfway there, Jaune noticed a tent. Curious, he looked inside.
And he saw Talos, sleeping. He probably was coming by, looking to see Jaune for Giving Day.
"Well, here's your present." Jaune reached into the bag and pulled out a science textbook before giving his own personal present.
Soon enough, they reached the Arc Family home. And as he lay present after present by the doors, Jaune felt his limbs grow weaker. It seemed that all the work had taken its toll. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
He lasted long enough to fall asleep on the couch.
It was Giving Day morning and all across Remnant, people woke up. And many were surprised to see presents in their houses. So many got what they wanted, wishes that they told nobody about granted. From the soldiers up in Atlas, to the office workers down in Mistral, to the farmers in Vale, and the salt miners in Vacuo. Everyone got one, thieves, prisoners, the bandit clans, and even the Queen of Darkness herself recieved a gift. Many boys and girls excitedly told their parents that they had seen Kris Kringle at night and had even talked to him. Meanwhile, others looked at their presents with unexpected joy.
"I love it." A certain girl hugged her beloved plush as her teammate pondered over the nature of her claims.
A certain group of huntresses talked about whether or not they remember the presence of some weird guy in red in their hazy drunken memories.
A butler in the Schnee manor told the young master that Kris Kringle was the one to deliver the gifts.
"How?" Winter had woken up not expecting much, only to find two gifts by her bed. One from Kris Kringle, another from Jaune. His gift was a small metal charm, one of a snowbird. It was clearly made to fit on her scabbard. And despite her insistence on professionalism and function over form, she put it on. It was a gift, after all.
"Heh, he somehow does it." Maria chuckled as she looked at the gift Jaune had left her, though she was pretty sure both of them were from him. It was a calavera bobblehead, one that made Maria more than happy as she flicked at it.
"Woahhhh." Oscar's eyes went wide as he stared at the small clay golem he had recieved from Jaune, somehow. It was apparently programmable with magic. And it would be Oscar's pet project for a while.
"Yes, get him!" Meanwhile, Gil was having fun watching the Eternal Warriors anime on the scroll Jaune had given him for Giving Day.
"Huh, when did he visit?" Saphron, Terra, and Adrian all found presents in their home from Jaune and Kris Kringle. Adrian got a small and safe toy, Terra got a new laptop, and Saphron got a nice dress.
"Wonder how the brat found me." Raiden looked at the small tanto Jaune had gotten him. It definitely would be less of a hassle to maintain, he supposed.
"See Neptune! Told ya!" A certain student in Haven poked at his blue haired friend, smugly smiling all the while.
"I hope she gets our present." The whole of Menagerie was greeted with the same sight, presents in all their homes. It was the cause for more cheer, despite the hangovers of many.
"Tch, he didn't even say hi." May muttered to herself, hiding a smile as her teammates all admired the presents they got. They had asked why she got two and she joked about some secret admirer. Jaune had gotten her a new scope for Headhunter. While most of the bits were in perfect condition, the scope was really the only thing she had a problem with. Its magnification was weak and its markings threw her off all the time.
"WHO FILLED MY ROOM WITH COAL!?" In the Midnight Castle, hysterical laughter was heard as both a woman in red and a mustached man woke up to find their rooms filled with the black gold. Meanwhile, Salem appreciated putting together a ridiculously large and intricate puzzle she was given.
"Thanks, Jaune." Amber smiled as she saw what her gift was; a scroll with a bunch of TV shows and movies downloaded onto it. This would keep her entertained for a while.
"Hey, Tai, we match again! How about we video call the brats and terrorize them!?" Qrow had the widest of smiles as he had discovered that Jaune had gotten him a pair of ugly winter sweaters. Both of his nieces absolutely hated it when he (and their father) wore them. Mostly because it was an afront to their fashion senses.
"Well, the kid knows his stuff." Fior smiled as she looked at the bottle of high grade whiskey Jaune got her. The stuff in the village was fine and all, but she liked her booze a bit stronger.
"Huh?" One cat faunus stared at her gift, bewildered as to how it got there.
"I am glad someone else has taken up the duty of Kris Kringle, even if just for a year." One clockwork man sipped his coffee, he did not regret staying up last night.
"Hmmm, curious." Talos munched at a novelty food that Jaune had somehow gotten for him. And, just like the name implied, it was a very unique taste. One that left Talos satisfied as he got back to walking towards the Arc Family home to join Jaune for Giving Day.
And in that home, the family noticed gifts by their doors. Amber recieved a coloring book, Lavendar got a new controller, Jade got a model kit, Hazel got some old puzzles, Sable recieved an immersion blender, Coral got a drawing tablet, Juniper an empty scrapbook, and Nicholas sunglasses to protect his weary eyes. The odd thing was that the presents were from Jaune.
And eventually, they all saw him in the living room, deep in sleep, clearly tired.
And by him, there was a note.
'A final gift, from me to you.'
The Arc Family freaked tf out for a moment before realizing he didn't die.
Yes, the Shit Log is a real thing.
You know, an idea I had while writing this was that Roman acted as Kris Kringle in Vale, mostly cause he has nothing else to do with his comical amount of money.
Also, yes, this is the closest I'll get to using Team RWBY or *NPR.
Also, the sack and sleigh disappeared when day broke.
Anyways, I've played 999 and VLR recently. Its mindscrewy.
