10/1 – Saturday
After School
Downtown Shibuya

Ren stared down at the small assortment of tiny different-colored cups with their caffeinated contents, and then glanced across the table at Haru, who was sitting in front of her own myriad. "We're taking coffee shots?"

"In a sense!" she said, a laugh between her words. "These are for sampling different brews, so we can really get a taste of this cafe's best." She slid a pair of sample cups over to Morgana, who had his paws up on the table. He leaned over to sniff at the drinks. "I even got a few for Mona. Iced and decaffeinated, of course."

"Of course," Morgana echoed. He leaned in and lapped at one of the cups, scrunching up his fuzzy face. "It's bitter!"

"It's coffee," Ren teased. Haru picked up a turquoise cup, one hand tucked under the bottom to keep it steady, holding it under her nose with both hands and taking a deep breath in. He quickly mimicked the motion with his own similarly-colored cup, letting the strong scent drift through him like a heavy breeze. When he tipped it back, the bitter taste struck him across the face, deep and earthy along his tongue. Ren swallowed, and the ichor settled in his gut immediately, a warmth that fought back against the chill Autumn air. It was so familiar... "Blue Mountain?"

Haru's face lit up. "That's incredible! I knew you'd had some experience, but I didn't expect your tastes to be so refined."

"Oh, uh, I mean," he stuttered, cutting himself off with a sheepish chuckle. "It's Futaba's favorite. I don't think I'd be able to name any others, though."

"Ah, I see," she said, still smiling. An odd thoughtfulness crossed her brow. "I recall you said the two of you only met this year, but I don't quite remember if you mentioned how long it's been."

"Two months," Morgana said before Ren even had a chance to properly think it through. "And a little bit. She messaged Ren for the first time in late July." And then the cat promptly busied himself with sipping at his coffee.

"And to think you two are still as close as you are," Haru said softly, almost longingly. She shifted her cup in her hands, swishing the coffee into a careful swirl. "It's remarkable that you've formed such a close bond in such a short amount of time." She giggled. "I admit, I'm rather jealous."

Ren blinked. "Are you...trying to get with my sister?"

Haru snorted with abrupt laughter, almost spilling her coffee, keeping her hands somehow steady despite her shuddering shoulders. "No, no, nothing like that!" Her breath calmed, but she still beamed at him across the table. "I simply meant being that close with anyone; platonic or familial included. It's been...quite a while since I've felt anything like that sort of intimacy." A little melancholic lilt crept into her tone. "And that was a friendship formed over many years."

"Right," Ren said, and he found a question settling across his heart. "Did something...happen? To that friend?"

"Not quite," she said plainly. "We simply grew apart. She and I met in middle school, and she ended up moving before high school." Haru paused herself with another long sip. "I recall we promised to stay in touch, but neither of us ended up keeping that promise." She smiled, and it was distinctly false. "That was the same year I ended up meeting Sugimura. Perhaps that loneliness was an additional weakness that drove me towards him."

His throat had begun to constrict, and he swallowed hard, trying to relax. A breath lodged oddly in his lungs, like a secret, like a nightmare. "For what it's worth, you're not alone now. And I don't think you're weak, now or then, for feeling that way."

Haru offered a little smile, far more honest, genuine. "Thank you."

"And you're not alone in feeling that way, either," Ren continued. "I know, for me, getting convicted was basically the end of like...all of my friendships." It left him so simply, and he felt so empty afterwards. Like dropping an anchor and letting gravity tear the truth out of his chest. "When I moved in with Sojiro, I didn't know anyone, really. Not until I met Ryuji."

"I see," Haru said, quietly. She hummed a thought into her coffee, finishing off the dregs and then replacing the cup with another. "I hope it's not too presumptuous of me to change the subject, but I've found myself rather curious about the two of you." Something odd about her expression, an unfitting tension, or an emotion scrubbed over.

"Curious?" Don't assume. Don't hope. Don't be an idiot. "I mean, yeah, ask away." Morgana gave him an odd look, brow furrowed, very pointed. Ren couldn't even begin to parse a meaning to that, and just mentally hoped the cat knew he wasn't going to say anything stupid.

"It took me a while to even realize the two of you were together," Haru said, quick and articulate and oddly rushed. "Since you seemed simply like close friends. But perhaps that's because you were around the Thieves, rather than alone."

Ren shrugged. "I mean, yeah, neither of us are super big on PDA I guess."

She nodded, and seemed to wince. "Yes, I assumed that might have been–" She cut herself off with a little sigh. "This is a mess of an inquiry, I apologize. I suppose it's simply an odd thing. The way you speak about him, the way your eyes smile whenever you say his name. You're in love with him, that much seems very clear to me. But the way he speaks about you..."

A little pulse, like a stone skipping across his ribs. "You're wondering why my boyfriend still calls me bro?" he offered.

Haru laughed. "Yes, I am. I do see that he loves you quite a lot, but his ways of expressing it are quite perplexing."

He couldn't help but chuckle too. "Yeah, that's...I get how that'd be weird to see." Ren reached up, twisting a lock of hair between two fingers. "Especially cause you're, like, a romantic, right?" He blinked. Where did that assumption come from? Maybe...Anachronism again? Fuck.

Haru gave him an odd look, but kept on smiling. "Guilty as charged," she agreed.

"Uh," Ren said, trying to recenter his head, drag his thoughts back together from where they'd been split down the middle. "It's like...I mean, I don't have an explanation, really. It's just sort of how things are with us. I guess, if I had to put a meaning to it..." Wow, it sounded so fucking stupid in his head. "I think we both loved what we had, when we were just buds. And I know I wouldn't wanna lose that." He shrugged. "Just cause I love him doesn't mean I don't still wanna be his friend. And he feels the same way, I'm guessing. I mean, we never even talked about it, it just...ended up like that."

She seemed to consider that. "No regrets?"

"None," Ren said, immediately. He hadn't even taken the time to think it through, but...yeah. He didn't regret it for an instant. "I guess, maybe I feel bad that it took me so long to work up the guts to tell him. That's it."

"That sounds lovely," Haru said, offering a soft and honest smile. "I can't say there are many fairy tales about falling in love with one's best friend, but perhaps there should be." She giggled. "The two of you seem like perfect fits for each other. It's lovely that you've found the one for you."

He shrugged, and matched her laugh. "I guess so. I mean, Ryuji's not...the one the one, but he's..." Ren cut himself off with a wince. "I mean, we're not exclusive. Like, we can see other people too. Hasn't come up yet, but it's...uh, yeah."

She nodded, blinking a little quickly at that. "And you're happy with that," she said, almost a question. "And with him."

"Very." As much truth as he could pour into that one syllable. Like Ren was trying to convince himself, except he already knew he didn't need to.

"Then I'm happy for you." Haru swapped cups yet again, somehow having made it through her next sample without Ren even having seen her take a sip of it. "You both, I mean."

"You're just lucky you don't see them when the other Thieves aren't around," Morgana grumbled. "They get all gross and flirty and kiss each other and it's weird." He stuck out his little cat tongue.

"Hey now," Ren said, as Haru burst out laughing. "I thought he had your blessing. You're not taking it back now, are you?"

Morgana huffed. "Just because I said you could kiss him doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Don't be like that, Mona," Haru said, a giggle still threading through her breath. "I'm sure all you need is a boy's day out with Ryuji, find some common ground between the two of you. Perhaps you could get Ren to treat you both to sushi."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Ren mumbled, but his complaint was probably lessened by the huge grin he couldn't quite shake. "I mean, having to pay for it aside, that sounds like a great idea."

Morgana's ears perked up at the mention of sushi, but he still grumbled into his remaining coffee sample. "Only if he doesn't eat all the tuna."


Evidently, Ren had just missed rush hour, judging by the unusual sparseness of the subway car back towards Yongen-Jaya. Plenty of open spots, and no nosy businessmen to potentially overhear a conversation between a boy and his cat. Still, Ren made sure to keep his voice down, just in case. "Did you have fun today?"

"Mhm," Morgana replied from inside his bag. "How about you? You drank a lot of coffee, isn't that supposed to make you anxious?"

"It can," Ren said. "Doesn't always, though." He couldn't deny that a manic buzz had settled in his throat, something electric across his spine. Though whether that was the caffeine or the lingering effects of Haru's company was hard to say. "And I'm pretty fine right now. Little jumpy, maybe, but that's normal."

"Yeah, you get startled real easy." Morgana chuckled, trailing off oddly. "You kept being odd today. Like, smiling and laughing at weird places." He squirmed his head out of his bag, staring up at Ren, his blue eyes so very piercing. "You said that you had to tell her about Anachronism, but that's not it, right? It's not just the memories."

He tried not to wince. He couldn't meet the feline's gaze. "Dunno. Maybe."

"I don't really get it all the way," Morgana continued, "cause I'm not human, but being embarrassed is...normal, I think? Like, being scared to say it to her, in case it goes bad."

"Mona–" It was almost a warning, and he cut himself off. No. Not to him, not to Morgana. Ren wouldn't let himself act like that to him.

"But why are you scared to say it to yourself?" The feline frowned, grumbling out a little breath. "Why are you scared to say it to me? Do you just not trust me or something?"

"It's not that," Ren said. "It's just...I mean..." He sighed. And he glanced back towards Morgana, towards his best friend. "I don't know that I want to feel that way. I don't know if it's a good idea, for my sake or hers. And I don't want to hold onto it if that's the case. I'd rather just...pretend that I don't, and maybe it'll go away on its own."

Mona furrowed his little brow, maybe mulling over those words. "You don't wanna hurt yourself?"

Ren shrugged. "Or her." It left him like an afterthought, and he hoped that would disguise the way it echoed to every beat of his heart, pumping more intent into his veins than blood.

Neither of them said a word, or moved an inch, beyond the subway's rumbling rocking them ever so slightly back and forth. Then Morgana slipped back into his bag, settling there for a long few seconds. "I want you to be happy," he said. "You're happy around her. But you're not happy when you're...this. I hate that."

"I'm sorry," Ren said. "I just don't know how I'm supposed to do this. I don't know how to know that I won't...fuck up royally and ruin everything."

"I trust you," Morgana said, immediately. "Haru probably trusts you too. And you trust her. You wouldn't have made that offer if you didn't."

Ren felt cold. Colder than the late afternoon chill, than the recycled and stagnant air of the subway. "You were awake for that, huh?" Morgana didn't answer. He didn't need to. "And you were...okay, with me making that offer?"

"Did she give you an answer?" he asked.

"She said no." Ren found his gaze wandering to the far window, to the underground walls moving steadily along. "She said, if she decides to...to kill him, then she wants to face the consequences for that, not hide behind the shutdowns."

"Hm," Morgana said, a little confirmation. "Then it doesn't matter if I'm okay with it."

That lingered for a few seconds, before Ren's mind caught up with his tongue. "It matters to me."

Morgana sighed, the bag wobbling slightly on Ren's lap as he adjusted himself. "When I left the Thieves for a couple days, I stayed with Haru. I saw how much he hurt her." A little grumbling growl, strained in his throat. "Haru's a really good person. She's kind, and she cared for me, and she talked me through so much. We barely even knew each other, but she helped me." Morgana seemed to hesitate. "I dunno if that creep dying would take away all that hurt. But if there was a chance, if it'd at least take away some of that, if it'd make things a little easier for her, then I'd sign off on it." He adjusted, and Ren could see a glint of blue staring up at him from within that dark, fuzzy mass of cat. "I still didn't like how you tried to keep it secret, though."

"Do you think I should have just told everyone about him?" Ren asked. He wanted it to be honest, but the question left him like an accusation.

"No," Morgana said. "But you didn't have to tell anyone about Futaba's uncle, either. You told them that you were changing a heart, that it was personal business, and they trusted that. Don't you think they deserve to know about something that big?"

An argument bubbled up in him like warm bile, like heartburn, and he locked it there, letting it scald his throat without so much as touching his lips. "Yeah," he said, finally. "They do." Ren closed his eyes. He felt like it was May again, like he was juggling the parcels, caught up in snap decisions on instinct, not even trusting himself, forging ahead and ignoring all the bridges that started smoldering along the way. The click of Ann's spoon against her empty coffee cup, echoing through his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you in that position. You, or anyone. I was wrong."

"Okay," Morgana said, quiet, almost soft. He didn't sound angry. Maybe disappointed, or just tired. "I just hate having to lie, or keep quiet about stuff. The Thieves are my family. They're the only people I've got." His little voice wavered, and he paused for a moment. "I already told everyone my secret. And I'm not saying you have to tell everyone yours, but please don't make me keep it. I think I'm done holding onto stuff like that."

"I won't," Ren said, immediately. "I won't, I promise I won't. I'll...be better. I swear I will."

"You don't need to be better," Morgana said. The bag lurched gently to one side, pressing up against Ren's arm. "You're plenty good right now. I trust you always, and I'm never gonna stop, not for anything. You're my Ren." A little radiant purr, so soft it could almost have been deafening. "You don't have to be perfect. Just be you. That's enough."


Ren froze twenty steps from the entrance to Yongen-Jaya. "Oh," he said. "Uh. Hey."

The blond reclining against the wall nearby the door glanced up from his phone and broke into an immediate grin. "Yo, Renren! Shit, I was just about to text you." He stuffed his phone in his pocket and pushed off the wall. "Just thought, you know, might be cool to stop by and surprise you and shit." He laughed, half sheepish and half genuine.

"Color me surprised," Ren said, finding a matching smile on his own face. "Before I forget, are you doing alright? Everything going okay? I know it's been a sec since we've checked in, sorry."

"No worries man, everything's going great." Ryuji tapped his left foot idly, swaying a little in the late afternoon breeze. "I mean, it's still tough to just sit it out and wait to figure out our next move and all, like I'm just itching to bust that Palace wide open." He shrugged. "But like, Mister Iwai's keeping me busy, and taking a chill pill isn't the worst thing in the world."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Ren shifted in place, almost keeping time with Ryuji's fidgeting. "Future Taba said stuff's gonna get crazy after Okumura gets his calling card, so I guess we should just...enjoy the down time."

Ryuji gave a quick, firm nod. "Speaking of, you got any dinner plans? I just found this great little ramen place – not you good or Sabi good, but still like, crazy tasty – and maybe we could, I dunno, hit that up? It's walking distance too, so we can just shoot the shit on the way."

"Fuck," Ren said, letting out a little laugh. "Sunshine, you are wooing the shit out of me right now, and you don't even know it–"

A sudden growl knocked the words out of his mouth, and Morgana squirmed his way out of the bag to plop onto the concrete. He shook himself off, then curled his nose at Ryuji and Ren in turn. "I told you! Leave the gross flirty stuff for when I'm not here!"

"Sorry," Ren chuckled.

"Yeah, sorry dude," Ryuji added. He immediately took a few steps back to hold the door open for the cat, who made his way over.

One last glance over a feline shoulder. "And tell him about Haru, while you're at it." With that, Morgana slipped inside, and a clearly confused Ryuji let the door close.

"What's up with Haru?" Ryuji asked, quirking his head just a little.

"Uh," Ren said, and cleared his inexplicably dry throat. "Long story. Kinda embarrassing. Maybe...after ramen?"

Ryuji just nodded, and offered a hand that Ren gladly took. "Course, dude. You don't gotta tell me nothing, don't forget that. Cat aside." He laughed. "Come on. I'm getting hungry and it's like a fifteen minute walk."

"Good idea," Ren said, and squeezed his boyfriend's hand. "You're treating, right?"

"Says the guy with four mil' in his attic," Ryuji scoffed.

"Yeah but it's in the attic, and you're here with me, and you love me," Ren fired back, grinning the entire time, a mischievous smirk that Futaba probably would have been envious of.

"Yeah," Ryuji confirmed, and pulled him down the walkway. "I'm treating."


10/1 – Saturday
Evening
Yongen-Jaya

Ryuji tipped his bowl back with a long, vocal slurp, and then placed it down on the countertop – not even a drop of broth remained. It was honestly pretty impressive. "Okay," he said, shifting to face Ren. "So what's up with Haru?"

Ren stalled his response behind a sip of his own, warm soup like liquid courage. "So," he began, returning the still-brothy-bowl to the counter. "You remember how, when we got together, I mentioned...I'd been seeing, uh, someone in Anachronism's memories?"

Ryuji furrowed his brow, clearly trying to remember. "Uh, sorta, yeah. That's when you asked me about, like, us being exclusive?"

Ren just nodded.

"Oh, yeah yeah," Ryuji continued, nodding just a little. "You said, like, he had a boyfriend and a girlfriend and shit, and–" He cut himself off. Understanding like a second sunrise across his face. "Oh! That's Haru?"

"Yeah," Ren said, breath almost strained in his throat.

"Shit." Ryuji ran a hand back through his hair, like he was deep in thought. "She seems kinda scary sometimes," he said, finally. "But also like, really nice? Soft too, like she cares about stuff a lot. Plant mom, all that. Plus she's, like, super pretty."

Ren blinked, and turned to stare at Ryuji, incredulity probably painted clear across his face. "Are you evaluating Anachronism's type?"

Ryuji snorted out a laugh. "Nah man, I'm evaluating yours."

"Right," Ren laughed, rolling his eyes. "Well, joke's on you, because I..." The lie caught on the mesh across his throat. He couldn't admit it, but he also couldn't fake it. Not to Ryuji either, apparently. Ren swallowed it back down. "Yeah."

"Uh," Ryuji said, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, you do like her, right?"

"I dunno." Ren tried to smile, and it probably looked awful. "Isn't it, like, weird to crush on someone after only knowing them for two weeks?"

"No?" Ryuji said with a little laugh. "Dude, I crushed on a girl last year after four days cause she sat next to me and said she liked my hair one time. One time." He threw his arms up into the world's most exaggerated shrug. "Shit's weird! I mean, with you, I didn't even know I was into you until like June, but sometimes you just fall for someone over nothing." He leaned back, letting out a long breath. "I mean, not like I've got the most experience or nothing. But hearts are fucking wacky, you know? Just cause it happened all quick doesn't mean it didn't mean anything."

Fuck. Read like a fucking book. Ren had to stifle the urge to bolt from his boyfriend, from being seen through like that. It wasn't hard to stay, but the temptation to leave was still there. "Right. Uh, if you don't mind me asking, what happened with you and the girl you crushed on? I mean, I'm assuming..." He trailed off.

Ryuji gave him an odd little look, but it didn't seem to linger. "Oh, you know. I mean, we just sorta hung out a few times, and then we kissed, and then we stopped talking. But, I dunno. We mighta kept on seeing each other, but that was around the time that uh...other stuff happened."

Ren didn't need another ounce of clarity. That tension in Ryuji's voice was enough to paint the situation clear: Kamoshida, without a doubt. "Right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"Nah man, it's cool." An honest smile, calm and simple. "It doesn't hurt to bring it up like that, not anymore. 'Specially not around you. Guess I just trust you that much, Renren."

"I'm glad," he said, quietly. "And, uh, I trust you too. With that, and everything." He pursed his lips. "Would it be dumb to ask you for advice? I don't wanna make my boyfriend give me tips on...you know."

Ryuji just laughed. "I mean, I'm cool if you ask. As long as you're cool with me just saying what I think and all."

"I wouldn't want anything else," Ren said.

"Alright." Ryuji shifted back towards the booth, rubbing his chin, just sort of thinking in silence. "You haven't told her yet, right?"

"I told her about the memories," Ren replied. "Like, she and I were together in that iteration. Nothing about how I felt." He kept a wince from bubbling out of him at the memory of her cold eyes on the rooftop that day.

He nodded. "I guess...I mean, it's easy to say that you should just tell her how you feel, but it's not really that simple. Like, you're not the same person as Anachronism, and she's not the same person as that Haru, so maybe you just don't mesh the same. But, I guess, that's just the normal risk, right? Heartbreak's always a worry." Ryuji let out a long sigh. "I guess like, do you think that being with her would...I mean, you said it hurt to see those memories sometimes. Do you think dating her would make that worse?"

Ren blinked. He hadn't really thought about that. "I haven't had any of those memories come up when I'm with her," he said, slowly, carefully. "I mean, besides for that time on the bridge in Okumura's Palace. That's it. And, I mean, I've been like super anxious around her all the time, and worried and tense, but also...happy, maybe?" He sighed. "Okay that sounds insane when I say it out loud."

"It sounds like a crush when you say it out loud," Ryuji fired back, leaning over to nudge Ren with his shoulder. "Come on, dude. Like I know this is all crazy complicated all over, but sometimes stuff really is just that simple. And unless memory stuff gets wacky again, I'd say like...go for it, with her. Cause you deserve to be happy, man. You deserve to be with people who make you happy." A beaming smile on the jock's face, bright as the sun that had now dipped below the Shibuya rooftops.

There was a question Ren didn't know how to ask. A curiosity he didn't know how to say. So he let it grow, let it tangle up his guts and his heart with little thorns prickling across his insides. "Okay," he said, simply. "I'll try and keep that in mind." Deep breath in, deep breath out. "I'll try."


10/2 – Sunday
Evening
Shujin Academy, Rooftop

Ren's back and legs and arms pulsed with a steady ache, a strain that caught at the inside of his lungs. Lifting, digging, carrying, planting. Lifting, digging, carrying, planting. His mind wandered at nothing, like drifting on a sea of stardust. It felt distinctly different from the odd fatigue in the Metaverse, a far more physical feeling, real and present. And yet, an energy lingered in him, a vigor that no amount of exertion seemed to be able to shake. The second to last parcel was on the docket for that night, and soon they'd be heading into Okumura's Palace to change his heart. Things were so close to being set into motion, and that anticipation was electric across his spine. Beyond that, though, he was yet again...alone with Haru. Morgana asleep in his bag – he'd checked twice on principle, not that he had any plans of sharing secrets tonight – and Haru had apparently invited Makoto, but she cancelled last minute due to some sort of family matter, which left the two of them side by side, crouched over a planter, just working away.

Well, she wasn't working. Something had drawn her gaze. Ren followed the glance, and found himself staring into a darkening sky, the sun half-radiant across the concrete horizon. Blue fading into orange, the implication of impending violet. It was beautiful, in the way only a sunset could be. If Yusuke had joined them, he'd probably have lost his mind at the sight.

Haru stood up, brushing herself off. "I think that's enough for today." She sounded satisfied. Not quite happy, but content. "I appreciate you staying so long, but I wouldn't want to keep you after dark."

Ren shrugged, and stood up as well. "I don't think anyone is keeping anybody. I just happen to be hanging out here, planting onions; same as you." He pulled off his gloves and offered them with a little smile.

She chuckled and accepted both, placing all four gloves into her bag. Haru looked ready to heft it over her shoulder, but paused, gaze once again drifting towards the sunset. "I think I'd like to stay a little longer, actually. It's been a while since I've seen a sunset like this." A little glance, a little smile. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, though. Walk safe."

"Oh," he said. "Uh, yeah, but, I mean..." He caught both errant breath and tongue. "I could stay too. I mean, I'd like to, if that's alright. Been a while since I've seen one either." Stupid excuse. Dumbass. Ren found himself glad that Morgana wasn't awake to chew him out for being an idiot.

Haru blinked at him, and an odd little smile spread across her lips. "Of course. A lovely thing like this is worth sharing, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "Especially with good company. And, uh, you're pretty good."

"You're not half bad yourself," she said with a little laugh. "Your articulation could use a little work though." And she winked. She winked, Haru fucking winked and Ren was about two seconds away from burying himself in that fucking planter.

"Ow," he said, and she burst into giggles at that, hiding her mirth behind one hand, smiling at him with her eyes. Yeah. Yeah, ow.

"Here," she said, and picked up a chair from the nearby table, offering it to him. She held it like it was nothing, but Ren nearly dropped the surprising weight as he took it from her. "Oh, sorry! I forget that not everyone...well, er..."

"It's fine," he wheezed, hefting the chair up, both arms around it. "Why am I holding this?"

She just laughed, picking up another chair. "Come on, noodle-arms. Follow me." Haru escorted both chair and Ren over to a spot near to the edge of the roof, setting hers up there, facing the sunset. The chain-link fencing still dappled the view, but it wasn't a half-bad vantage point. He set up his chair next to hers, a safe distance away, but still reasonably close. Sort of a happy medium. He tried not to think too hard on the potential implications of that.

And he sat down. And he turned his focus towards the sunset. And he looked.

Ren didn't really have the words to describe it. It just sort of...was. It was beautiful, yeah, but more than that somehow. Not beautiful the way a model was beautiful, or the way a diamond was beautiful. More like...beautiful the way a snowdrift was beautiful. The way crickets on a quiet night were beautiful. The way the soft song of breeze-blown wind chimes was beautiful.

"Ren?" Haru said, dragging his focus over towards her. She was staring at the sunset still, but her brow was furrowed, like a thought had caught on her tongue. "I think...I don't mind, exactly, but I think there might be some mixed messages between us, recently."

"Uh," he said, "mixed messages about what?" A frenetic energy pounded against the base of his throat, some indistinct horror he couldn't tie to any particular fear.

Her pensive gaze flicked towards him, then back away. "About what we discussed on Wednesday. Regarding...for lack of a better word, us."

Oh. Fuck. Ren couldn't help but wince. That confirmation should have come as a relief, and it only felt all the more awful. "Sorry. I'm...I mean, I'm not trying to. Sorry. I'll do better."

Haru's focus was on him then, sharp and confused. "What? No, that's...that's not–" She let out a quick breath, staring at him in the oddest way. "Are we on the same page? I thought we were, but this is..." She shook her head, like she couldn't quite find the words. "It feels as if we're speaking different languages."

A sheepish smile snuck onto his face, an embarrassing relief sinking into his spine. "Sorry. I mean, I sort of assumed we were too, but there's still..." What had Haru been mad about, exactly, before? Why had that anger gone away so quickly? And most importantly, why hadn't she just pushed back against any of his stupid attempts to get closer to someone who had already made it clear she wasn't interested in him?

"Hm," she said, brow still furrowed, expression still perplexed.

"Maybe, we just...say it out loud?" he offered. "I mean, that seems like the straightforward way to do it. And, I guess, it might feel better? Like, so we don't have to keep talking around it like this?" Infinitely easier said than done.

Haru nodded slowly. "That does sound like the best option to me. Like ripping off a bandaid. Mutually assured truthfulness." A long, hesitant breath. "I think I can agree to that."

"Okay," Ren said. "You first though." Coward.

She burst out laughing. A good sign, at least. "You're the one who suggested it!"

"And you're the one who agreed to it." He chuckled, and it didn't feel nearly as forced as it should have. "So, you first."

"Fine," Haru said, rolling her eyes. But she didn't say a word. Not for a little while. She just turned those brown eyes back towards the sunset, back towards the light's steady descent. Like she was working up the courage. "In the world that came before this one," she said. "A version of you and a version of me were in love. Or, at least, together. You have memories of that, of being with someone who looks like me." Her hands were idle in her lap, fingers interlocked and tense, flicking her thumbnails against each other. "Those memories have caused you to treat me differently. And, of course, you don't wish that." She paused, smiling so awfully, pained and strange. "Because you don't wish to be with me. At least, not the way that I wish to be with you."

Ren's heart stopped beating. The silence in his chest was deafening, and every iota of sound and sense and thought dropped away in an instant. His breath was not so much frozen as void, nonexistent.

"Which is entirely fair," she continued, with a little strained laugh. "We are our own people, after all. As difficult as it is to hear, perhaps it's for the best. After all, I'm not quite sure someone like me is worthy of being with someone like you." She sighed. "No, that's not really relevant, I apologize. That's all, I suppose." Haru glanced towards him, a sheepishness to her expression that vanished in an eternal instant, tilting her head ever so slightly. "Ren? Are you alright? Is it another memory, or–"

"We are not on the same page," he said, his voice breaking on every syllable. And his heart beat again. And his brain whirred at everything and nothing. And he was the world's biggest idiot.

"Oh," Haru said, probably a little surprised, and clearly completely perplexed. "I...see. Then, er, what exactly..." She let it trail off, staring at him in wordless confusion.

Fuck. Focus. Focus. Breathe, do not pass out right now. He needed to fix this. He needed to fix this now. "I mean," he began, and cut himself off with a strained inhalation. Okay, awful start but better than nothing. Do not stop. "It's not...I mean, okay, to start, you...I mean, you're not...Haru you are not unworthy. Not of...anything, and I mean, fuck, I'm kinda coming at this from a very, very biased angle, but you are still...I mean, you're you. You're one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my entire life, and you mean...I mean, it's only been a couple weeks, but I still can't...I mean, I couldn't imagine..." Ren cut himself off with a breath. He was about two seconds from speaking in tongues and he could not let himself fuck this up. Not now, not this. "You're worthy. You're worthy of being with the people you want to be with, and being...I mean, you're worthy of reciprocation at bare fucking minimum, that's kinda lowbar, but–"

"Ren." Her voice was sharp, and cold, and quiet. A bitterness that cut off every thought his heart had shoved under his tongue for safekeeping. "Don't play with my heart like that. Just don't."

"I'm not!" His voice broke again and he didn't know how he'd even managed to get the words out but there they were, out and present and real in the air. And everything else tumbled out with them. "I'm not, I really...I mean, I mean it. I mean that. You're worthy of that, and I want...I have wanted that. I just didn't say anything because I was scared and I'm, fuck, I'm really sorry, I just..." Breath in, breath out, not enough in him to make it even close to deep. "I'm kinda, uh, kinda sorta crushing. On you. Right now. A lot." He pursed his lips, and something left him that was probably a breath but it felt like far more than that. "Yeah."

Haru stared at him. Blinking rapidly but inconsistently, her mouth slightly open, something like ten million expressions all trying to show themselves at once. "I..." she began, and trailed off again. Haru closed her eyes, and opened them again, and looked at the ground, and then back at him. She pursed her lips, and took a careful breath. "Ren Amamiya," she began. "You are absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, an unfathomable dumbass."

"Buh?" he replied.

"You–" She cut herself off with an incredulous breath, halfway between laugh and scoff, and brushed her hair out of her smiling face with both hands; wait, she was smiling? Haru was fucking grinning, a wobbling expression of joy even as she shook her head ever so slightly at him. "I'm not even sure how you managed it, but you almost broke both of our hearts over what I believe to be a frankly absurd miscommunication." A long breath out that spiraled into a little airy giggle, and Haru covered her mouth with one hand like she was trying to keep her smile from him. "At this point I honestly don't know whether I'm supposed to slug you or kiss you!"

"Uh," Ren said, blinking quickly, filing yet another polite request for his brain to regain control of every errant faculty at once. "I mean, I know which one I'd prefer?" Without a word, Haru leaned off her chair and punched him in the arm with enough force to jar his thoughts back into place yet again. "Ah, fuck! Sorry, sorry." He rubbed his arm, and he was laughing and he didn't know why. "Fuck, Haru."

And she was laughing too, inconsistently sending little glances his way that began frustrated but melted nearly immediately into something...fond. Something that made him feel warmer than yesterday's coffee ever had. Haru took another breath, another attempt at composure. "Ren, when you told me before, why did you put so much focus on the fact that we didn't have to end up together? Did you really think I would fall over myself just to reciprocate, just to make you happy?" She was still smiling, even as she leveled the question at him; so simply, like that inquiry was nothing at all to her.

"No!" he blurted out, the surprise overwhelming his common sense for a moment. "I mean, no, it wasn't that, it was just..." A frustrated breath between his words. "I just didn't want to hurt you."

"It hurt to be treated as an emotional liability, Ren," she said. Still so simple, that articulation came so naturally to her, not like the words that stalled in his mouth and dragged their feet across his tongue. "Not that I thought you didn't love me, it hurt because I thought you didn't trust me."

"I do trust you," he replied. "I mean, I did then, too. I never stopped trusting you. I didn't–" A little crack. Like standing at the edge of a cliff, watching a chunk of rock fall so, so far to the waters below. It wasn't like before, though. Now, he knew he'd take the leap. He'd take it every single time. "I didn't trust me."

She laughed, and that threw a little surprise into his stride. "I'm quite a lot stronger than you, you know. And you've made it clear that the Thieves are all equals, there's not anything I can think of that you could–"

"I was scared it was fake." And they were both quiet, then. Haru looked at him, something odd and maybe knowing in her expression. He looked away, down towards his hands, right clinging tight to left. He could brush his thumb against the scar on his wrist, if he wanted to. "I was scared...I was scared that you'd fall for me, then I'd find out Anachronism's memories were fucking with my head, or that I was just going insane or something, and I was just so fucking terrified of being with you and then finding out that what I felt for you wasn't...real." Ren's breath was unsteady, and each one brought another little pulse of pain through him. He was still scared. He was mortified. Admitting it hadn't helped that one little bit.

Haru was quiet. And then she stood, or half-stood, picking her chair up with her and awkwardly scooting her way over to him, and sitting back down. They were close now, almost knee-to-knee. She reached out without a word, and placed a hand on his, fingers against his wrist. He could have pulled away. He almost wanted to. But he didn't. He just relaxed, let his hands slip apart, let her push her fingers into his and squeeze their grasps together. "Is this real?" she asked. "What you're feeling, right here, right now, is that real?"

He didn't know what to say. Ren glanced down at their hands, and then up to meet her eyes. Soft, and lovely. "I hope so," he said.

She smiled. "I hope so too." And she glanced away, a little breath of laughter leaving her. "I just can't get over it. You spoke about us being in a relationship in the same breath as Anachronism lying to his friends, and you didn't consider that I might take that as a rejection."

Ren found a little awkward laugh bubbling up through him as well. "In my defense? I'm an idiot."

She giggled, full and honest, but still quieter than before. "Yes. Yes, indeed you are, Ren. But...I suppose, I'm not exactly one to talk." Haru beamed at him. "I did fall for an idiot, after all." He didn't have more than a breathless second to process that before she adjusted herself on her chair, straightening up and looking him very seriously in the eye. "I think I would like to hold you now, Ren."

Brain, one last time. Just cross the finish line right here. "I'd like that too," he said.

And that look melted away into the brightest smile he'd ever seen. She pried her hand out of his grasp, and threw her arms around him, and hugged him so incredibly tightly. Something about Haru's touch was impossibly gentle. Ren knew how strong she was, and yet he didn't feel an iota of danger from her embrace. He just felt...soft, and warm. And something else too, but he couldn't quite place it.

Oh. Right, that's what it was. Ren wrapped his arms around her too, and closed his eyes, letting himself sink ever so slightly into her sweater. He felt safe.


The staircase down from Shujin's roof had never felt quite so long. But then again, he'd never walked down it so absurdly elated, nor had he walked down it after sunset, in the dark, using his phone as a flashlight. Nor had he done so with someone like Haru. She'd taken the lead, but she kept sending glances over her shoulder, with a little breath like a laugh each time. Almost like she was just amazed to see him still there.

Down and down and down, and to the side entrance Makoto had given them a key for, and Haru held it open for him. "Isn't it usually the other way around?" he asked, stepping through.

"Oh, I'm sure there will be plenty of doors for you to hold open for me," she teased, locking it behind them both and then slipping the key into her bag. "I do expect my boyfriend to be a proper gentleman, after all."

"Right," he said, his voice half an octave up from its usual tenor. His ears felt warm.

Haru took one look at him and burst out laughing. "Come on," she said, weaving her arm around his and tugging him farther down the path. "Sad as I am, I can't stay out forever. I'm probably in trouble enough as it is." Haru said it like it was nothing, like getting in trouble with her father didn't affect her at all. That smile was so unshakable on her lips, like it wouldn't leave for anything.

"Sorry if I got you in trouble," he said. "And, uh, for all the...dumb stuff."

"I've attracted far worse from my father for far less," she said with a shrug. And she beamed at him. "Apology accepted, for the foolishness. But that's the last time I'll let you apologize for it." Haru laughed. "I won't let you think of today as anything more than a slightly embarrassing happy memory." She tilted her head towards him, a careful little gaze. "Are you happy?"

"Ecstatic," he said with an airy grin.

"Me too," she said. And she hesitated, glancing off towards the end of the walkway, towards where a car was parked with its lights on. "Ah. That looks to be my ride."

Ren nodded. One last second of closeness, and he let go. "Stay safe, okay? We're changing your dad's heart soon, you won't have to deal with his shit much longer."

"I remember," she said. "And I will. You be safe too."

"I will," he agreed.

Haru lingered, fiddling with the hem of her sweater, and then she started to walk. And she took about ten steps before she paused abruptly, and Ren heard something like a mumble and a very deep breath, and then she turned back around and marched back up to him and leaned in and kissed him. Quick, barely longer than a breath, and then she pulled away.

"Uh," he said.

She let out a little breath, and glanced away, grinning with her eyes. Her gaze was inconsistent, towards him and then away. Her cheeks were still so clearly red in the near-darkness of impending night. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said.

"Yeah," he replied. "Yeah, I'll see ya then." Ren gave a thumbs-up.

Haru giggled, and took a few steps back, returning the gesture. And then she turned and began to jog towards the car.

Ren didn't move. He almost felt as though he didn't know how to, anymore. His feet felt rooted there, and his lips felt warm, and his heart felt so quick and so light. He just stayed there, watched her slip into the car, watched it pull away. The street lights clicked on, and he found his gaze drawn up towards one. He had the sudden urge to thank the buzzing inanimate thing, and he wasn't even sure why. Maybe the whole world just seemed a little lighter now. Or maybe Ren really was just losing his mind.

Eh. He could think of a lot of worse things to go crazy over.


10/2 – Sunday
Night
Cafe Leblanc, Attic

Ren,

There's so much that I have to say to you, I don't even know where to start. There are wonderful days I wish for you to always remember, and awful days I wish for you to never experience again. I could start writing what you mean to me and the world would run out of paper before I could find the end. In time, though, I think I'll tell you all of them in person. There are some miracles that I believe we may be destined to repeat, over and over again. At least, I can hope for such things. I'll continue praying that the world maintains some sense of romanticism through all this chaos. I know I haven't lost mine.

You have saved someone important to me. I cannot say who it is, but I need you to know that you did save him. I made a difficult decision, and you put yourself at risk to ensure that choice was not undermined, nor taken away from me. Regardless of what you stood to gain from that, I am grateful. I will always be grateful, even as I am not always sure that I made the correct decision. There are days when I am glad that I could be that strong, and there are days when I am just as bitter that I ever had to be. But that choice was mine, and you ensured that it was kept mine. Thank you, for that.

I wish I could keep writing. I wish I could tell you everything I can't, and reveal all the secrets I don't know, and answer every question you could never ask me. I wish some impossibility would let the you who is reading this meet the me who is writing it. There is so much for us to talk about, so much wonder and sorrow and life that a single year can bring. I don't know if you will have a chance at that same year, but I will never stop praying that you will; that and so much more after. There's so much more life for you to live. I know you can do it. And when you do, don't do it for the world, or for your friends, or for me. Do it for you. Because you deserve that.

Much love,
Haru Okumura

Ren lowered the letter. The parcel sat open and empty on the bed next to him, Morgana still asleep in his bag on the couch. Ren's chest ached with something so awful and familiar and wonderful all at the same time, and he couldn't even focus on that feeling. There was something he was missing. Some cog out of place, a half-assumption fitting incorrectly, or sitting empty entirely. Some piece he hadn't connected yet.

He'd saved someone. Anachronism had...who had he saved? Someone important to Haru. Himself? Ryuji, maybe? Morgana? Could it have been Black Mask, somehow? Was he someone important to her? No, if anything, he...

Ren took a breath in, and he held it. One, two, and let it out. He folded the letter back up and slipped it into the parcel. It was late. He was tired. Morgana was still asleep, not that he necessarily wanted the cat to see the letter in its entirety. His head was spinning with buzzing elation and the fatigue of lingering anxiety. And beyond all of that, he was happy.

Whatever the letter implied, whatever truth it contained, that was something to take care of tomorrow. He didn't want to linger on Thievery, on the stress of changing hearts or addressing the mental shutdowns. He wanted to linger on...this.

When he closed his eyes, he wanted to dream of sunsets. He wanted to dream of digging into soft dirt with a well-loved trowel. He wanted to dream of his girlfriend's smiling face, laughing at him for being an idiot. And Ren didn't think he ever wanted to stop dreaming.


I was incredibly proud of this chapter when I sent the first draft to Jane, and her notes were absolutely phenomenal and challenged me in the absolute best way. I've thanked her about ten times for them but I'll thank her again here because holy shit. Thank you so much Jane for beta-reading this chapter, you're amazing.

I'd also like to give a special little thanks to my girlfriend Dave. I've just gotta say in the cheesiest way I possibly can: this story would not be nearly as lovely and as full as it is without the passion, loveliness and care he shows to me every day. Dave, when you read this, I love you so much.