? – ?
The Gate of the Millennium Choir
"Here again?" the precious thing asked. Or, half of them at least. She seemed ever so slightly clearer, now that Ren's focus wasn't split between the pair of them. She tapped her blurry knuckles against the solid door, that barrier that seemed static despite Ren's twisting awareness.
"Who's there?" Ren said, on instinct. Then he shook his head as she burst into laughter like the chime of a thousand bells. "I mean, what else is there? I've only ever seen you here."
She made a motion that he somehow knew was a shrug. "How about school? Memories of there haven't eroded, I bet I could..." The precious thing trailed off, tracing the fingers of her left hand against thin air, like twisting through the silk of a thin curtain.
"I've had enough of Shujin for a hundred lifetimes I think," he muttered.
"Not your school," she laughed. "Mine." And she pulled back the veil.
The sun was pale and bitter in the winter sky, dappled through leaves and half obscured by a motionless cloud. The air was oddly stale here, and it tasted dull against his tongue, like a thin layer of dust. It smelled like pine, like polish, like the screech of rubber heels against tile floor, like sunbaked pavement and the sharp string of Autumn's end.
"I've never been here," he said.
"I know," she said. The precious thing was sitting cross-legged on the ground underneath a nearby tree, and she patted the grass next to her. "Sorry it's so cold. That's just how I remember it best."
"I don't mind." Ren didn't take a single step, but he blinked and he was sitting next to her. He uncrossed his legs. "Weren't there two of you?" he asked. "What happened to the other person?"
"Nothing happened." She seemed even sharper here somehow, more in focus. As her gaze turned skywards, he could almost catch her face, framed by auburn hair that seemed to glow in the afternoon light. "He's probably just resting. Even without having to share like we used to, it's still hard for both of us to be at the same time. So, sometimes one of us is more here than the other."
"I don't get it," he said.
A sympathetic smile shone through the blur. "Sorry. I'm not the best at explaining things." The precious thing hesitated. "And sorry for not being who you wanted to see." She didn't give him a chance to vocalize his confusion. "You talked to him yesterday, right? I wish I could say I know he heard you, but I don't." She sighed, a hum between her breaths like the wobble of a string plucked taut. "We thought at the very least we'd get to see the guy again, after we did what we did. But we haven't. Apparently, we're stuck in this place until our job is done. Wherever he is, he's not here."
A gravestone surrounded by flowers. Ren tried to pull out the name, but it slipped through his fingers like so much ash. "You knew him?"
"Sure did," she said. "And they're right, by the way. He would have liked you a whole lot."
"Everyone keeps saying that," Ren replied. He felt a surge of something like frustration, a burble of static flame settling in his gut. "Him and that other person who died. But the people who say it don't even know me."
She laughed. "Okay, sure. Maybe they're just being optimistic, or projecting stuff onto you. But that doesn't mean they're wrong. In fact, I can say for a fact that they're at least half right." Something shone in her grey eyes, something so wonderful that it ached at his ribs, even as he couldn't put it to words. "Cause we've heard you across dreams and reality, mind and matter. Your heart is singing, Ren. And it's such a wonderful song."
Half right. Even as his brain hummed at nothing, he tried to pull together the logic. "You're them," he said, squinting, trying to make out her form more clearly. A flash of red drew his attention. A ribbon, familiar crimson on her collar. "You're the other one who was lost."
"Lost is a good word for it," she teased. "But it's a bit optimistic, right?" That shimmer was so melancholy. "Lost means you can be found again. And I'm not the most certain she'll ever succeed at that. As much as I pray she will."
He wanted to say more. He wanted to ask more. A million words spilled over each other on his tongue and he couldn't give a single one of them the breath they deserved. A distant bell chimed, an echo of eternity like a crackle across reality.
"Hour's up," she sighed. "You'd better be off. Don't want to get lost too, do you?"
"Wait," he mumbled, scrabbling at fading focus, dragging himself back even as he was pulled away. "Wait no, I...please, am I doing the right thing?"
She just laughed. "You're following your heart, aren't you?" the precious thing said. "It doesn't matter if it's right. Just so long as it's you."
And Ren woke up.
10/5 – Wednesday
After School
Maruki's Office
"Before we begin," Maruki said, pausing to take a sip of apple juice. "I want to give you some advance notice on something. Due to...professional disagreements between myself and the school board," he said the words so hesitantly, carefully, like a script he couldn't quite remember. "My tenure at Shujin will be coming to an end around mid-November."
Ren blinked. "Are you okay?" he blurted out, before he could stop the question.
Maruki seemed genuinely taken aback, and then a little laugh bubbled out of him. "Very," he assured. "I'll still have my own practice and be able to see patients, though it won't be covered by the school." And he gave a little nod. "Patients including you, should that be something you are wanting and able to pursue. It won't be free, but I do have a sliding scale for those with lower income, including students."
"Gotcha," he said. Ren figured he could probably afford to keep meeting with the therapist weekly, but he wasn't sure exactly how much that would cost. If he had to dip significantly into the Thieves' funds for the sake of his own mental health...he'd need to do some thinking on that. "Do I need to decide anything now?"
"Nothing at all." Maruki took another sip. "Just something to keep in mind. I don't want you being blindsided by that, in case you have anything you want to discuss while I'm still here."
"Okay." He shifted on the patient couch. "Anything else?"
Maruki shook his head. "Not unless you need some help figuring out what to focus on today," he replied with a little chuckle.
Ren couldn't say he was struggling with a lack of subjects, more like an abundance of them. Like always, a thousand worries and wants and options flicked through his mind. And a vague dread settled in the space between his knuckles.
December 31st: Oxymoron, under duress, saves Daylight from the Fall.
"The Fall is what S.E.E.S. was founded to prevent. It is, as you said, the end of the world."
"Speaking of deadlines, I guess," he mumbled. Fuck, what was the best way to phrase this? "I think my probation might not last. Or, might be amended."
Maruki nodded silently, a knowing look shimmering behind his glasses.
"Probably in December," Ren continued. "It's possible that I get sent back off to juvie. Or that my parents make me come live with them again." Okay, now that the bitter lie was set, time for the far more awful truth. "I've been really trying to do good over this year, trying to keep my head down and help people, help the Phantom Thieves change hearts."
"Hm," Maruki hummed, throwing Ren off his train of thought. "Could you speak more on that? I don't think you've mentioned it before."
"Uh." Ren reached up to twist a strand of hair between two fingers, trying to keep his story straight in his head. "Me and some friends of mine, we've been doing investigations and stuff, helping find out info about people whose hearts need to be changed."
"Ah!" Maruki snapped his fingers, breaking into a little grin. "I believe you mentioned a dangerous activity of sorts, or something that could get you in trouble. If you don't mind confirming, would those be the same thing?"
Ren just nodded. He supposed it sort of was accurate, even if the veiled language felt uncomfortably close to a flat out lie.
"Please continue," Maruki prompted, sitting back and sipping at his apple juice again.
"Um, I guess just, like," Ren mumbled, trying to pull his thoughts back together. "If I'm stuck in juvie or my parents' house, I can't help them anymore. I won't be able to help anyone. And I guess I'm just scared that I haven't done enough with the time I've had. Like I haven't helped enough people, or that the help I have given wasn't enough." He tensed and relaxed his fingers against the leather armrest. "Like, awful people are still around, and I don't know if the Thieves can ever change all their hearts. If I can't help the Thieves...then maybe more people get hurt that I could have helped save." It was weird. Even through the veiled language, even though he was completely misdirecting the man, there was something so...right, about telling him the truth. About putting words to the feelings that had haunted Ren for ages, probably even before Oxymoron had turned back time. "And honestly, that really fucking scares me. I don't want to fail. Not at that, not when there's so much on the line."
Maruki nodded, writing something down in his notes, slow and careful. Like he was articulating his response in his head. "Before anything else," he said. "I want to assure you. Even if you were to stop helping the Phantom Thieves, that doesn't mean that they will be without support." His smile seemed momentarily pained, sympathetic to the point of suffering. "It doesn't mean you failed, either." The therapist seemed to catch himself. "And even if they were to stop changing hearts, that doesn't mean that people will stop fighting." Ren was tempted to correct him, but he forced himself to listen. "I understand that feeling of powerlessness is frightening, Ren. I think it's quite reasonable to be intimidated or scared by it."
"Okay," Ren said, stretching the word out. "I mean, I get that, but it's still just..." He shrugged. "Even if I'm scared, I still can help, so shouldn't I...I mean, if I can do something, then I should, right? Bad stuff only happens when no one fucking does anything, when no one cares enough to pay attention or give a shit. So..." He bit back his frustration, trying to tamp down on his bitterness. "I mean, I give a shit. So if I can't help, then what?"
The therapist's pen scritched against the page. "It's awful when tragedies occur when they could be avoided. And you're not wrong, it's absolutely a common thing." Maruki paused again, lifting his juice box up to his mouth. But he hesitated. And he lowered it, placing it down on the table. "It's not your responsibility to fix the world, Ren. There will always be more people who need help. But your time, money, energy? You only have so much to give, and you need to save some of that for yourself." He paused, tapping his chin with his pen. "You've helped people already, haven't you? Even if just through helping the Thieves, that's still helping."
"I guess so," Ren said. "I mean, yeah, probably. I've probably helped a few people, at least. Even indirectly."
"Do you think you were helped by someone?" Maruki asked. "The Phantom Thieves, or even just a friend?"
Ren nodded. "Absolutely." In his case, both at the same time.
The therapist adjusted his glasses, leaning back against the couch. "If you weren't helped, could you have fought the way you've been fighting?"
Ren felt his confusion and bitterness drop out like the floor had been emptied beneath them. "Oh," he said. "Uh, probably not, no."
Maruki nodded, with that same smile he always gave when Ren followed one of his metaphors. "Let's assume for a moment that you're the only person who cares enough to help. That you're Atlus, holding up the Earth." He drew an idle circle in the air with his pen. "That's not a burden that anyone was ever meant to hold on their own. And the only way to stop tragedy is if the world wises up, and holds itself up for a change. People have to see the bad around them, and be willing to fight for the good. The Phantom Thieves saved people who could go on to fight for others, and even if they disappear, it won't change that."
"Huh," Ren said. Maruki was more right than he probably knew, and that was honestly a little worrying. He'd hit the nail on the head though. Every single Phantom Thief, besides him and Morgana, had started by pulling themselves out of their own personal suffering. But they hadn't stopped fighting, even after overcoming their own struggles, even after those abusing them had confessed. Then again, did that extend past the ranks of the Thieves? Was that universal, or had they just found a few good eggs in a big fucking basket? "Do you think everyone who got saved will fight though? I mean, I know some people will, but do you think it'll be enough to actually change anything?"
Maruki laughed. Just a little chuckle, but a laugh nonetheless. Not at all the response Ren had been expecting. "I'm pretty sure they already have. I don't know if you've noticed, but the Thieves have had a real impact on Japan so far, even beyond those they've saved. And I'm pretty sure people are already starting to wise up, and put themselves on the line to do the right thing." His gaze wandered across the room to a point next to the office door.
It was a quick look, but enough to drag Ren's own focus along too, tracing the glance towards a wastebasket in the corner, right behind the door. There were a handful of papers jutting haphazardly out of it, manilla envelopes and stapled pages. And on the front of the one nearest to him, Ren could pick out the title across the top of a particularly text-dense file: 'Restoring Post-Repression Anamnesis.'
"I know they've had an impact on me," Maruki finished, his voice oddly quiet. For whatever reason, Ren almost felt that the man's voice sounded grateful.
"Anamnesis," Ren read aloud, attention split between his phone and the sidewalk in front of him. "Ability to reminisce, regarding memory, recalling ideas." He lowered his phone. "The last time he talked about repression, it was about that whole...trauma making you forget stuff, right?"
"Mhm," Morgana confirmed. "So he threw away papers about bringing back lost memories." He hummed a thought, adjusting himself in his bag. "He mentioned that before, didn't he? How remembering things out of context could do more harm than good. He put off helping you remember stuff too. But what does that have to do with the Thieves?"
Ren sighed, pocketing his phone. "I mean, unless that was his way of telling me that he knows I am one, I'm not sure. We're changing hearts, not memories. Maybe Kasumi told him..." And he trailed off. "Wait, no, that's it, isn't it?"
"Kasumi told him she was a Thief?" Morgana asked, sounding genuinely distressed by the implication.
"Not a Thief," he said. "Her parents' hearts were changed. He asked me for help before, when Kasumi was struggling a lot. He must have put two and two together that the Thieves changed their hearts, assuming Kasumi didn't tell him." Ren hesitated. "Do you think he knew her parents were mistreating her?"
"He brought them up when he asked you," Morgana mumbled, clearly trying to follow the logic. "And he sounded really worried, like there was something he couldn't say." The cat stiffened. "Oh. Confidentiality."
Fuck. Ren hadn't even thought about that, but he found himself nodding. "That makes sense. If Kasumi's parents told him about Sumire in a therapy session or something, then him telling her would be a breach of confidentiality."
"So that's why he reached out to you," Morgana concluded.
"Yeah." Ren reached up to twist a lock of hair around his finger, still keeping one eye on the sidewalk. "And then if Kasumi told him anything about her memories, her parents or Sumire, it'd be pretty easy to figure out their hearts were changed." One mystery down, but that still left the trashed file itself. "Do you think...I mean, Kasumi was so torn up about not knowing what happened to her sister. She remembered the stuff out of order, so she didn't know what her trauma actually was. But when she did remember that context, the fact that Sumire was taken away, that it was her parents and not some accident, then she seemed like she could face those memories more. Right?"
"Mhm," Morgana agreed. "I got that impression from her too." He shifted in the bag again. "Do you think it's reassuring for you to know what your memories are from?"
Ren hesitated. It wasn't exactly an easy question to answer. Anachronism's lingering recollections had felt somehow worrying even before he knew who they belonged to, before he knew their purpose. Even the most pleasant ones carried no small ache, a yawning emptiness that tore chunks out of his chest. Realizing their source hadn't taken that away, but...some of the parcel letters had, a little. "I think so," he replied, finally. "I mean, it'd be more reassuring if I knew how I was remembering them in the first place. But it still feels a little better, knowing how that story ends. It's an awful ending, but Anachronism's friends already knew that, and they still didn't give up. They all fought to try and save the world, even though they knew they'd fail." He glanced up at the grey-blue sky, at the clouds drifting intermittently across the sun. "Knowing that is nice, at least. Knowing that they believed in themselves, and in us, makes that loss a little less painful."
Morgana pressed against him through the bag, purring ever so slightly. "Maybe Maruki saw that in you both too," he said. "Kasumi might have never found out about her sister if not for the Phantom Thieves; at least as far as he knows. So maybe that's what changed his mind on the way he'd been helping people before."
"We accidently showed him another way," Ren said. "Maybe he'll credit us in his next book or something." He chuckled at the thought.
"I wonder if he'll use our codenames." Morgana snickered. "Presenting 'Trauma Memories,' by Takuto Maruki, credit to...Mona." The cat hummed another laugh. "Has a nice ring to it. Maybe we should make sure he pays me for my likeness though. And Makoto can be my agent!"
"Let's worry about Okumura's heart first," Ren corrected. "Then we can talk with Maruki about getting your face on the cover."
10/5 – Wednesday
Evening
Cafe Leblanc, Attic
Ren's thumb hovered over the number on his phone until the motionlessness itched at his skull. Then he tapped it, and raised the cell to his ear.
Naoto picked up after two rings. "Shirogane Detective Agency," the young man said in an exhausted monotone. "It's after hours right now, can I take a message?"
"Uh," Ren said, almost tempted to simply hang up the phone. "It's Ren, sorry. Amamiya. I can call back if–"
"Oh!" Naoto exclaimed. A rustling, the sound of air, and a muffled groan. "Oh, ow. Ow. Okay, that was a bad idea."
Ren blinked. "Are you okay?"
Naoto laughed, slightly strained. "Just sat up too fast. I'm fine." A breath through the receiver. "Sorry about that. How can I help you, Ren? Is everything alright?"
"I guess so," he said, stifling a useless shrug. "I mean, yes. Nothing bad to report. Just wanted to, I mean, I'm–" Ren cut off his own rambling with a sharp breath. "I'd like some advice."
"Of course." Another momentary rustle, a faint whisper and the click of ceramic on a hard surface. "Ah, thank you Kanji." Pause, clink, sip. "Go ahead, Ren."
"Okay," he said, gathering his thoughts like a bundle of papers and snapping them into alignment against the bottom of his skull. "Uh, I guess to start, did Mitsuru tell you about Anachronism's memories?"
"Anachronism?" Naoto hummed a thought into the phone. "No, I don't believe so. Not unless that's some sort of name for parcels that you, Aigis and Narukami received." Huh. Both Yu and Aigis had mentioned parcels, and Mitsuru had specifically spoken of the former's, but...had Oxymoron really only reached out to those with Wild Cards? Maybe that was just a coincidence, but it seemed significant. "Ren? Are you still there?"
"Yeah," he said, blinking back to focus. "Sorry, spaced out for a sec. No, not the parcels. I've been...remembering stuff. Oxymoron did some sort of ritual in a past iteration, something to a version of me in that iteration. He took the name Anachronism, probably as part of that ritual, and he's sent me a couple notes in the parcels. But on top of that, something about that ritual made his memories start to drift into my head."
"That is..." Naoto said, hesitating. "Fuck."
Ren found a surprised laugh bubble out of him, genuinely taken aback by the detective's sudden language. "Shit, uh, sorry."
A little breath. "Not at all. You've nothing to apologize for." Ren could almost hear a smile in his voice. "The fact that you can laugh about them is a good sign, I hope?"
"Yeah," Ren agreed. "I mean, they still fucking sting when they come up, but there's a whole lot less of them hitting me now than they were, like, a month ago. And I guess I've sort of gotten used to them."
Naoto hummed a confirmation. "If these memories become in any way more intense, or you feel concerned about them, or if you simply need a reality check, please do not hesitate to reach out. I..." He trailed off, quiet for a moment. "I know firsthand what it's like to be burdened with events that you'd rather not recall."
Ren felt acutely aware of the raised line of skin across his left wrist. "Right. Thank you, I'll try to remember that."
"But that reassurance isn't why you called me, is it?" Naoto chuckled quietly. "Please, continue."
"Sure." Ren found himself smiling too, just a little. "It's sort of...I've remembered something kinda...complicated." He pursed his lips. "Anachronism fucked up in a few really big ways. And I think I figured out a way to maybe avoid one of his biggest mistakes, but it might mean asking something pretty big from the SRU." Ren almost felt like wincing, shoving the words back down his throat. Maybe Morgana could tell, because the cat stretched out from his spot next to Ren and crawled onto his lap instead, plopping down and beginning to purr.
"Ah." Naoto sighed, almost thoughtfully. "I would assume that request would require some significant degree of trust."
"Yeah," Ren agreed, shifting his left hand over to absentmindedly pet Morgana. "Kind of a lot actually. Not only trusting them to do a good job or whatever, but trusting them with the Thieves' autonomy. I mean, not all the way, but we'd probably still have to go through the SRU for our next changes of heart."
"I see," Naoto replied. "And you want my advice on whether I believe Mitsuru can be trusted with something that drastic?"
"Yes please," Ren said.
Naoto was quiet for a time, probaby mulling over his words. "If this request is something that has no room for error or hesitance, then I don't believe Mitsuru is the correct person for the job. She's stubborn, and I'm not completely confident in her ability to put her own ego aside when presented with a contrary opinion. But..." He hesitated. "That being said, she's been remarkably receptive to at least being told that she is wrong, even if she may not immediately adjust her behavior. She's also clever enough to treat difficult decisions with the appropriate level of care, and I have no doubt she will put off any such action until every dissenting opinion is heard, and the SRU has at least a majority agreement on how to proceed. Even if that majority disagrees with her."
Majority opinion, huh? It wasn't exactly the same as the Thieves' unanimity, but it sounded like Mitsuru had a quite similar stance towards leadership as Ren himself. Leading by trust, not force. "Gotcha," he said. "I think...I mean, I've gotta talk it over with the other Thieves first, but thank you. And uh..." Ren took a breath. "I might need your help too. I don't know if you and Mitsuru are on good terms, but if you'd be willing to work with her, I think we'd really appreciate your help if we do reach out to the SRU."
"You almost make us sound like divorcees," Naoto laughed. "Ren, of course I'd be willing to help. Even if for no other reason than to share my very dissenting opinions with her directly."
He chuckled. "Thank you. I'll try and give you a heads up, so you're not blindsided or anything."
"I'd appreciate that," Naoto said. A rustling adjustment, a clear hesitation. "Can you promise me you'll stay safe? Regardless of what the Thieves decide."
Ren blinked. "I mean, I can't..." he began, but trailed off. "I know none of my friends would ask me to risk my life. It might be dangerous no matter what, but I know they'd rather work with the SRU than see me get hurt, even if Mitsuru wasn't someone we could trust."
"That's good," he said. "But I meant more within your own decisions. I want to know if you can promise me that you won't allow yourself to come to harm."
Oh. Right, not just danger, he meant... "I can't," he said. "I'm sorry. I wish I could promise, but...I just don't know if I have a choice."
"We always have a choice," Naoto said. Ren had expected sternness from the man, but he just sounded quiet. Maybe thoughtful, maybe melancholy. "That doesn't mean it's an easy choice. It doesn't even mean it's possible to choose something else, depending on when we are in our life. But it's always a choice. Knowing that means knowing that you won't always have to." He was quiet again, for a moment. "Even if you did promise that, breaking it wouldn't make you a failure, or a coward. It would make you human." It almost sounded like he was smiling, in the worst possible way. "We're not made to hold that much pain, Ren. So long as it remains, so long as that wound is unhealed, that temptation will remain. If we can't heal faster, the best we can do is look for outlets that won't hurt the people we love, and...do our best to become one of those people. To do good by ourselves, so that we do good by others." He chuckled. "I hope that makes sense."
"It makes a lot of sense, yeah," Ren said. Something deep and wonderful squirmed in his gut, like the joy of seeing someone beautiful in your own reflection. "Uh, Naoto? I...I promise. I promise that I'll try."
The detective didn't say a word, for a time. "Thank you. And I promise as well. Let's both do our best." And this time, Ren could tell he really was smiling.
10/6 – Thursday
Noon
Shujin Academy
Ren
Hey Kasumi
Are you available during lunch today?
Kasumi
Mhm! :)
Do you want to eat together?
Ren
I mean yes absolutely
But also I'd like to know if you'd be up to talk about something
Preferably somewhere a little private
I promise it's not anything drastic
Kasumi
Oh... :O
Could I ask what it's about?
Ren
Anachronism memories
I had one of them a bit ago and I realized you were in it
And there's some parts of that I wanna disclose
Kasumi
Oh!
Yes of course, that's totally fine! :D
I'm super curious now, heehee!
I mean, unless it's something bad I shouldn't be excited for. X|
Ren
Haha
Not really bad or good, I guess
But I figured you might wanna know privately first, so you can decide if you want to tell the other Thieves
Kasumi
That's very considerate of you. :)
Oh! How about we meet on the roof!
Where Miss Haru has her platners!
*Planters! X)
Ren
Haha sure, sounds good to me
See you at lunch then
Despite being the one who called for the meeting in the first place, Ren still found himself the last one there. Kasumi was already sitting at one of the spare tables, with a wrapped bento in front of her, the moment he stepped onto the roof. "Hello Ren!" she chirped, beaming at him.
"Hey Kasumi." He carefully closed the door behind him, then grabbed a nearby chair and set it down on the other side of the table, finally settling into it and lowering his bag to the ground.
"Hi Kasumi!" Morgana added, hopping out onto the roof.
Kasumi giggled. "Hi Morgana!" And then she turned her focus back on Ren, pointing a chopstick at him accusatory. "And did you br-bring lunch today?"
Ren pulled a small bento box out of his bag and waggled it in front of her. "Leftover curry," he said.
"Good!" She burst into another waterfall of giggles. "And it sounds delicious." Kasumi unwrapped her own lunch, and began meticulously separating the trays. "Do you mind if I talk while we eat? I mean, if I e-eat while we talk!" She scrunched up her face in a wince.
"Go for it," he laughed. "I don't mind at all."
"Thanks," she said, grinning a little and continuing her organization. "What did you want to tell me?"
"So," Ren began, adjusting himself on the distinctly uncomfortable chair. "I recognized you in one of Anachronism's memories. He was training with someone in Mementos, and you showed up to join in. But the thing is..." He hesitated. "I'm pretty sure that memory was from partway through next year, during that time Oxymoron gave everyone to prepare before she reset everything."
"Okay," Kasumi said, slowly.
"And, uh..." Ren sighed. "I think it's better to show you." And he reached into his bag again, withdrawing the broken picture frame holding the photo of Anachronism's Thieves and holding it out to her. "Here."
Kasumi paused, putting down her trays and then taking the photo. She stared at it, blinking a few times, like she wasn't quite sure what she was seeing.
"We got that from one of the parcels," Ren said. "It's how we figured out Anachronism's phone works in the Metaverse. And I'm guessing they took that picture at the end of this year, before Oxymoron's test."
"And I'm not in it," she said, her voice quiet, almost hollow. Kasumi handed back the photo, brow still furrowed. "But you said you rememb-remembered seeing me after that picture was taken, so I prob-probably didn't die or something."
Ren nodded, giving as sympathetic a smile as he could manage. It probably looked terrible. "I'm pretty sure, in that iteration, you didn't awaken to your Persona until sometime next year. So if you were part of the Thieves, it was a lot later. And by that point, I'm pretty sure we'd all stopped changing hearts." Which, in turn, meant that Kasumi might not have found out about Sumire for another year. She might have burnt herself out further, or isolated herself more, or something entirely more drastic.
"Oh," Kasumi said. "That's all?" She tilted her head slightly.
"Uh," Ren said, a little perplexed by her reaction. "Yeah, that's all."
"Are you okay?" Morgana asked, concern clear on his little cat face.
Kasumi quickly nodded, smiling down at him. "I'm fine! Thank you though, Mister Mona." And she reached down an arm to give him a quick pet before straightening up. "I think it's...actually just a little funny. I don't know if you're right about your guess, Ren."
Ren blinked. "Okay, so, uh...sorry, I'm kind of confused."
And her smile turned almost apologetic. "Because I've been th-thinking about leaving the Thieves. And maybe the me in that timeline did too."
"From what I heard, she left because of your actions. Seems you're not as perfect as you let on."
Ren's brain switched off. He stared at her, every potential thought dripping away before he could catch it. Thankfully, Morgana still had control of his faculties. "You're leaving!?" the cat yowled.
Kasumi almost jumped out of her seat, nearly jarring her bento off the table. "Morg-Morgana," she scolded, still seeming a little rattled. "Don't scare me like that."
"Sorry," he mumbled, and Ren glanced down to see him with a genuinely guilty expression. "But...you really are going away?"
Kasumi took a deep, purposeful breath in and out; yeah, she and Ren definitely had the same therapist. "I don't know for sure," she said. "I haven't dec-decided yet. It's just something I've been thinking about for the last few weeks."
"Is it something to do with another Thief?" Ren asked, finally managing to pull his head back together. "If someone's making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe or something–"
"Oh, no no, nothing like that!" Kasumi shook her head and both hands at the same time. "It's just, well, being a Thief is a big comm-commitment. And...I meant this to be a surprise later, but I found out that Sumire's going to be released from the hospital sometime next month."
"Oh," Ren said, blinking. "I mean, fuck, congrats. That's awesome."
Kasumi nodded, smiling so fully and genuinely that Ren couldn't maintain an ounce of bitterness. "It really is. But I want to take the time to be with her, to help her adj-adjust. And I've still got school, and I can't give up on gymnastics." She looked away, idly picking up her bento trays again, organizing them once more. "I don't want to stop being a Thief. I promise I don't. But it feels like the only thing in my life that I could drop, to make room for my sister." Kasumi sighed. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I understand." He took a breath too, making sure to pick his words carefully. Ren knew what he wanted to say, but he wanted to say it right. Though, first... "Do you know when you might want to leave?"
"I was pl-planning on telling you all after we changed Okumura's heart," she replied, still not meeting his gaze.
"Okay." Another breath, quicker this time. "The meeting this weekend might change things a lot for everyone, even for our plans before we send the calling card, and a whole lot that comes after it."
"Oh," Kasumi said. "Then, maybe...should I sit out on it?"
Ren shook his head. "I mean, not unless you want to sit out. But if it's just my choice? I'd want you there. Even if you leave afterwards, even if you don't see those plans through. Right now, until the moment you leave..." He found himself smiling, and he wasn't even sure why. "Kasumi, you're a Phantom Thief. That's not a title I plan on forcing you to give up, and I don't plan on treating you like an exception either. No matter what."
She looked back at him, and matched his smile with a soft little one of her own. "Thanks Ren," she mumbled.
Morgana purred out his agreement, rubbing his body against Kasumi's leg. "Even after you leave, you'll still be one of us! We can still tell you about all our adventures, and you can come to our celebrations."
Kasumi giggled, beaming down at Morgana. "That sounds lovely."
Something clicked into place in Ren's head. It wasn't familiar logic, not something old or remembered, it was brand new. But it made perfect fucking sense. "Kasumi," he said, and she glanced back towards him. "How would you feel about being an honorary Phantom Thief?"
"Honorary?" she said, almost sounding out the word, one eyebrow quirked.
Ren nodded. "Like, you wouldn't have to show up to any of the meetings, infiltrations, Mementos outings or changing hearts. We wouldn't wait on you for all the normal Thief stuff, we'd just proceed whenever the rest of us could. But we'd keep you in the loop, and you'd be welcome to join us when you're able. And when there's a big decision, like our next target or something, we'd ask you to weigh in on what you think. And like Morgana said, you'd obviously be invited whenever we celebrated together, and you could stay in the group chat."
This time, it was Kasumi who seemed lost for words, staring at him almost blankly, her hands frozen mid-rearrangement.
"We'll need to check with the other Thieves to see if they're okay with it," Ren continued. "But maybe you could take some time to think it over before–"
"Yes," Kasumi said, so abruptly that he almost stumbled over the word. "Oh, um, I mean, of course, the other Thieves have to agree too, but..." She was grinning again, looking almost jittery with excitement. "That sounds am-am-amazing, Ren."
"It sounds good to me too!" Morgana chirped. "I don't wanna lose Kasumi, but no one should feel forced to be a Thief. And if this helps her stay part of the group, even if just sometimes, then I'm all for it." He tilted his head at her. "Do you want to be with the Thieves? Even if you never go into the Metaverse again, would you still want to just...be with us?" It seemed an honest enough question, but Ren could feel an ounce of hesitance in his tone, an anxiety that seemed so alike the one he'd shown the Thieves before.
Kasumi glanced towards him with the softest smile Ren had ever seen. "Of course I do. I really, really do. You're all such lovely people, I don't want to miss out on being your friend. I feel..." She blinked, as if her conclusion had taken her by surprise. "I feel like I bel-belong with you all." And she stared up at Ren, like she was asking him to confirm.
Either way, he nodded his head. "Yeah. You do. You really, really do."
So much love and thanks to Jane for beta reading this chapter, brainstorming details and providing the inspiration for the Maruki scene; not to mention the emotional support she's given me over the past few days.
Thank you all for your patience, and thank you especially to anyone who's left a comment or otherwise engaged with this story. Your feedback means so much more than I can possibly articulate, and I'm forever grateful to everyone who's stuck around through this behemoth of a fic. We've still got a bit to go, and I'm looking forward to going there with you all.
