AN: Oh my God! Is that ME? Updating this story after a FIVE THOUSAND MONTHS? WHAAAAT?!

Yeah, hey guys! I'm back. I had take a break from fanfiction for mental health reasons, but I'm back now and prepared to give you some more more of that sweet, sweet Jess X Ed content!

I've edited all the chapters, but have so far only updated Chapters 1, 3, and 5 as I felt they needed the most polish. For chapters 1, it's just buffed out a bit (I also made it so Jessica's pining lasted a year so that this stories events can better line up with the canon timeline), chap 3 has a slightly extended text convo with Jess and Ed and a different-ish demeanor for her father and chapter 5 changes James "game" from weekly to monthly. [EDIT. CHANGING IT BACK TO WEEKLY SOON. LMAO]

OKAY! Hope you enjoy my lovey readers XOXO

[REVISED 29/11/2022]


Chapter Six: Oh, Fiddlesticks

In theory, there is nothing more romantic than being carried in the arms of sexy boy after a dramatic fainting spell. What the movies and the novels didn't tell Jessica, however, was that the scenario didn't count as cute if the fainting spell was caused by learning the existence of vampires. Oh! And the sexy boy carrying you? Yeah, he was one too! And now instead of feeling relieved or flattered or romantic she felt like vomiting.

Edward seemed to get this concept too (either that or he understood the universal language of someone waking up shrieking, who knows?) because after she came to to a world of smudged together trees and darkness, he slowed down to a not-completely-human jog that didn't so much as rustle the leaves and twigs on the forest floor. And he could see that even that freaked her the hell out so he stopped completely and let her walk on her own.

Now there was a tense silence as Jessica shivered in her stupid lame cat costume. Every few moments, she would glance up at Edward then shimmy away a few steps, then remember those other crazy wackos after her and shimmy back and the cycle would repeat over and over. It was like the aura she felt around him since their first meeting had turned less addictingly erotic and just plain terrifying now that she knew what he was.

Vampire.

She hugged herself tighter and shuddered.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

Jessica wanted to laugh, but instead she let out a pathetic whine that made her eyes blurry for no reason. She blinked rapidly because she was so not going to cry here.

Seeming to get the picture either way, Edward nodded slightly and looked ahead once more. This left Jessica to study his side profile—the way his skin shimmered oddly in the light and didn't reveal a single pore or freckle, those amber eyes too intense to be real. Even the way he moved was just too smooth and freaky to be human. Natural enough that someone could assume Edward had model training (unless you knew he was a goddamn vampire!), but eerie and off putting if you watched for too long.

"God," Jessica croaked, closing her eyes. The sight of him was suddenly making her dizzy. "Of course you ended up being a fucking vampire."

"Language."

Jessica scoffed and she opened her eyes to glare up at him. "My life is over. Okay? Over. I'm not going to cater to your 1950s ass standards of speech right now."

Edward glanced at her briefly before correcting, "1910s."

Of freaking course. "Fuck," she groaned.

He sighed but said nothing.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Jessica snapped. "Fiddlesticks, vampires exist and one of them wants to hunt me for fun. Oh nuts."

Edward let out a sudden bark of laughter and shook his head. "You truly are something else."

She would've taken making him laugh a huge compliment literally any other time. But tonight, Jessica was a bit too aware of the fangs that were revealed and briefly glinting in the moonlight to care.

Edward must've caught a disturbed expression on her because the brief amusement on his face melted away into something hard and tense. "Do you see now? The kind of monster I am?"

Jessica opened her mouth and closed it. She didn't answer until he looked at her again, those eyes once alluring now filled with an extra dose of danger. She swallowed and turned away, answering, "I thought…when you said you were a monster I thought you were being metaphoriphal."

"Metaphorical," Edward corrected.

"Whatever!" Jessica snapped before closing her eyes again and sighing. "Just…whatever."

The one guy she'd ever pined for relentlessly and he was a vampire. Thanks God.

"I'm sorry to disappoint," Edward said, a hint of resignation in his voice. "But maybe it's better this way."

Jessica paused in her sleeve-thread-fiddling with narrowed eyes. "Wait a minute…" She looked up to glare at him. "You're using this to weasel out of our arrangement, aren't you?"

Edward had the gall to look confused as he glanced from side to side, looking for invisible witnesses to his nonexistent innocence. "No?"

"Ha! Nice try."

"Surely you're at least thinking about ending this?"

And the crazy thing? She was! Oh my gosh! Winner, Jessica Stanley, planning on quitting! Why? Because of a little scare? Because the guy she was pursuing had sharper teeth than she assumed? What was wrong with her?

Jessica clenched her jaw and tilted her head up in defiance at both her common sense (cursing her out and telling her to run into the bushes) and Edward (staring owlishly in pure shock at her as if she's the vampire here) before closing the tension heavy inches separating her and her future boyfriend and hooking her arm with his.

The urge to bolt grew in intensity but she held her ground. She was a winner, and the only times she ran like hell were during a race or a sport game! But not because of vampires.

She could feel Edward's bug eyed stare on her face as they continued trekking, and she was pleased to answer that look with a semi-self satisfied smile until he bluntly stated, "You are insane."

"You underestimated me, bucko."

"Jesus Christ…"

"Ooh! Look whose swearing now?"

"That…how was that swearing?"

Jessica raised her eyebrows and snorted. "You mean calling the Lord's name in vain isn't swearing, bad boy?"

"I assure you, it wasn't in vain," Edward muttered.

As the midnight walk continued, Jessica felt more and more herself. Because to hell with James and his friends! To hell with vampires being real! Jessica Stanley was a—

The Cullen house came into view as the two of them broke through the tree line, and standing in a row atop the porch were its hauntingly beautiful occupants.

Its vampire occupants.

Jessica realized she hadn't actually asked Edward where he'd been taking her, and now she was surrounded by more vampires then she had before.

In five seconds, all the confidence she'd just built up crumbled up into useless dust.

"Well, well," Rosalie stated coolly. Her arms were crossed and her eyes were narrowed on Jessica's figure. "Alice tells us this one's finally given us the trouble I knew was coming from a mile away."

Jessica swallowed and took an instinctive step back. She was stopped from straight up spinning all the way around and running like hell by Edward's cold palm at her shoulder blades. "It's okay," he told her.

"Okay?" Rosalie demanded. "I told all of you—!"

"Rosalie," The pretty woman at her side scolded. Esme Cullen, if Jessica had to guess. Gosh she was a knock out—she looked like she belonged in those old Hollywood movies. And from the kind and apologetic smile she shot Jessica, she seemed nice too. Jessica felt a bit bad for telling the whole school she found her infertile (even if it was probably true because why else would someone in her mid-twenties adopt a bunch of teenagers?). Then, Jessica remembered that the Cullens were all probably vampires too (smooth skin, intense eyes, contradicting auras of attraction and fear), so as far she knew, Esme Cullen was an Old Hollywood movie star, and also, also all her fear had returned ten-fold.

"Edward, Jessica," Carlisle Cullen spoke this time and shared a wary smile with them both. "I think you both should come inside."

Jessica bit her lip nervously as the family entered the modern mansion. Edward moved to join them but Jessica stayed rooted to the spot hugging herself and debating the pros and cons of charging into the woods at top speed. She was a track star, she could maybe outrun a vampire with her thin flats and leotard.

Edward glanced at her over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. "What happened to that gungho attitude of yours?"

Jessica decided she did not like the note of challenge in his tone, and scowled back before following with a huff. She gritted her teeth when she heard him chuckle and gave him the middle finger over her shoulder.

Fuck Edward Cullen. But goddamn Jessica Stanley was not a loser.


Edward had never heard her mind so quiet before. He'd expected a nervous explosion of worries and what-ifs, like on their first "date", but instead, her mind was cold and rigid with the exception of a few immediate thoughts on her surroundings ('do they even need half this stuff? Do vampires watch TV?') , his family, ('I'm such an idiot! Of course they were supernatural too!') and him. (It was simply a long stream of the f-word leveled at images of his face, really). She sat atop a living chair, eyes darting from one Cullen to the next as she jerkily peeled her silver nail-polish off with a twitchy, nervous hand.

So, this was Jessica I-am-not-a-loser Stanley at her most fearful. A part of him was hurt he was partly the cause, even as rightfully so it should be.

"Would you like a drink?" Esme asked with a gentle smile.

"U…um. You guys have…human…drinks?" Jessica asked. "I-I mean drinks that humans drink and not—"

"We do," Carlisle said with a slight breath of amusement. "We entertain from time to time, after all. Any requests?"

"Beer?" Jessica suggested weakly. "Or like…very, very, very strong alcohol?"

Carlisle frowned and opened his mouth to politely suggest something else, but Emmett had already zipped out of the room and returned just as quick, crouched beside Jessica with an open can of Red Bull. He seemed nonplussed by the way she jumped in fear; simply grinned and said, "This one's my favourite. Tastes the least like liquid nothing and if I squint and believe hard enough I kinda feel drunk. It'll probably be doubly good for a human like you, yeah?"

Jessica smiled awkwardly and gingerly took the can. "Thanks," she croaked.

"Aye, not a problem!" He said as he stepped back in line with the rest of the family. Rosalie frowned and smacked his arm with the back of her hand, and he replied with, "Oh come on, babe. She's freaked!"

Jasper, who was a significant ways away from Jessica on the opposite end of the room cleared his throat and offered, "I can…calm you down if you'd like, ma'am. With my powers."

Ironically, Jessica looked even more panicked and took a long drink of her Red Bull. "No thank you," she rasped when she wiped her mouth and placed the can aside.

"All right, I suppose we should get down to business then," Alice said, clapping her hands together and sharing a look with everyone. "Any ideas on what to do when it comes to our nomad friends?"

Rosalie's hand shot up and Edward gave her a glare. Rosalie glared right back and voiced her opinion out loud, despite the subtle head shake he gave her. "Let them have Stanley."

Jessica choked on her second swig of alcohol and blurted out, "What?!"

"You heard me," Rosalie spat venomously. "Sooner or later, 'animal attacks' aren't going to cut it for the news. Soon it'll be a serial killer, and then they'll start checking cameras and bringing in the police. The sooner that James fellow is gone, the sooner we can return to our everyday lives instead of having to move. And he will be gone once he's been satiated by you."

"Be that as it may, Rosalie," Carlisle said. "We still can't do that; it isn't right."

Rosalie rolled her eyes as Esme added, "And besides, Ms. Stanley's practically family now that she and Edward are dating."

Edward shot his mother incredulous look. "We aren't dating, Esme."

"Oh," she said with genuine disappointment in her voice and a sad frown. "I—well the two of you are friends at least, no?"

"I—" Edward paused and gave a quick glance at Jessica who was drinking more beer and looking more and more miserable by the second. It seemed that the burning liquid had unfrozen her mind, and now it was right back to being a near incoherent mess of anxiety. The most prominent thoughts alternated between 'Oh God they're gonna kill me' and 'I am a winner, I am a winner, I am a winner'.

If she was trying this hard now to convince herself to continue on with her plan to date him, then she would surely wake up tomorrow brought to her senses and wanting nothing to do with him.

"I don't want her to die," He answered honestly, turning back to his family. "I don't."

"Okay!" Alice said with sigh of relief and a marginally less forced smile. "Any suggestions that don't involve Jessica Stanley's death?"

Jessica also let out a sigh of relief and slumped in the chair with a hiccup. Jasper raised a tentative hand.

"Jas?"

"Move her some place else for awhile? We can find away to mask her scent before—"

"Uh-uh," Jessica said automatically with another hiccup. "I'll be behind everything in school. Work, clubs, sports, gossip—hic— Also you try convincing my Dad to—" She paused in her tirade and her eyes became wide with trepidation as Carlisle strode over to her. He gestured to the half finished can with his eyes and a slight smile, hinting that she may have had enough. Jessica relinquished the drink with one last sip and a sigh before continuing. "Anyway. I'm not leaving, psycho v-vampires—" she shivered slightly. "—or not."

"See? Practically suicidal; she doesn't care if James kills her or not," Rosalie said.

"I didn't say that, you bitch."

"Ladies!" Esme scolded. "Civil, civil!"

Both girls scoffed and glared away from one another as Emmett piped in. "Am I the only one not thinking of the obvious? Why don't we go after 'em? C'mon! It's twenty to three!"

"Twenty?" Edward repeated in confusion.

Jasper shrugged. "Alice's power, Emmett's strength, your speed, and my experience are all a giant advantage."

Emmett spun to him and grinned. "Aye! He gets it!" He zoomed over to sit beside him on the couch and deliver a passionate high five that sounded like a thunder clap. Jessica jumped and hugged herself, her mind already freezing over again.

"I would prefer to keep things civil, Emmett," Carlisle placated.

"With all do respect, Carlisle, I believe they gave up any notions of civility ages ago," Edward said darkly.

"Choosing the innate lifestyle of a vampire isn't uncivil just because it is different from ours, Edward," Carlisle replied.

Edward clenched his jaw and crossed his arms, but he didn't say anything else.

"I propose we elect Edward as bodyguard!"

Edward blinked twice and dropped his arms as he stared at her. "Pardon?"

"You be her guardian angel," Alice chirped. "Keeping daily tabs, patrolling her house at night—"

"Pardon?"

"Please, please, sound more horrified by the thought of spending more time with me," Jessica grumbled bitterly.

"Jessica that isn't—"

"So!" Alice cut him off. "Any objections?"


Big shocker, when Edward silently drove her home that night and she'd gone to her room, Jessica had a hundred thousand text messages and missed calls from her friends. She'd apparently been so out of it that she hadn't even brought it with her, so now she had to the rounds and text back quick apologies and promises that she'd explain everything at school the next day.

She ignored all the follow back messages of either relief (Mike, Tyler and Angela) or angry statements for worrying them sick (Lauren and Ben) and tried to go to sleep.

Shocker number two. She couldn't sleep. But seriously, how was anyone else who'd discovered the existence of vampires and was now going to be murdered by them in like, a week going to have a good night's rest? And yeah, she'd known after their second "date" that Edward wasn't fully human, but she wasn't thinking horror creature not human. This was a super terrifying shock, and she honestly would've preferred lizards from the Earth's crust.

Her phone buzzed again on her dresser, and Jessica decided she might as well entertain her worried friends instead of trying and failing to get shut eye. Except…it wasn't any of her friends.

Edward3: Are you awake?

Jessica stared at the message for five long seconds before letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding and typing a reply.

Me: ya

Edward3: Okay.

Edward3: I'm sorry.

Me: 4?

Edward3: Everything. I'm sorry you got mixed up in all this. I'm sorry you had to find out I was a monster. I'm sorry about Rosalie. Everything.

Jessica sighed, bit her lip, and replied.

Me: i want to be mad at u for not being honest with me but

Jessica paused before shaking her head, deleting the message, and starting a new one.

Me: u didnt do anything. its ok

Because why bring up Edward's lying now? He thought he was Satan's gift to mankind and she didn't need to make him so guilty over something that she really couldn't blame him for. It's just… she'd really been shocked and scared from the thing with James and okay Edward being a vampire was freaky as fuck but she wasn't going to quit Operation Steal the Unattainable's Heart now!

Edward3: I know it sounded like the opposite back at the house, but I do wish to be your friend.

Jessica's eyes widened and she propped herself up at the revelation. Sure it wasn't exactly, "Jessica, you were right! We belong together and I'm going to climb through your window right now so we can make out!" But couples were basically friends who kissed and had sex, right? So this was definitely a step in the proper direction, right?

Before she could text back an excited reply, he added on to his heart swelling comment.

Edward3: But you know what I am now. There's no reason you'd want to be. It's why I didn't think it would be good on your peace of mind for me to watch over you.

Before she could reply, another text arrived.

Edward3: And don't try to deny it. I saw you back there.

Jessica rolled her eyes and finally typed back a response.

Me: it was just a tiny freak out. y r u trying to push me away?

Edward3: Do I really have to explain at this point?

Me: if u say "im a monster" 1 more time im screaming in ure ear

Edward3: But I *am*, Jessica.

Pressing her lips together Jessica left the text inbox and clicked the phone icon beside Edward's name instead. The phone rang for five seconds before his velveteen voice on the other line said, "I didn't say the word monster."

"You implied it, meaning you said it in your head."

He gave an amused scoff. "Why do you care? What I think of myself?"

"You're my future boyfriend, and I can't have either one of us lacking in self-esteem."

"You aren't going to be satisfied just being friends, then?"

"Until we have that proper date and you decide you haven't been wooed by my charms—nope!" She popped the "p" cheerfully. "Now, while I plan our next date and hope no vampire—" she paused and swallowed. "U-um. Weird things don't ruin—"

"You can't even say it without shuddering," Edward said quietly, the amusement in his voice dissipating.

"No duh the concept of va-vampires scare me. But you don't."

Edward scoffed, this time without the laughter. "What am I, Jessica?"

"Edward—"

"What. Am I?" His voice had gone low and dangerous.

Jessica swallowed nervously before sitting up and rolling back her shoulders. "You're Edward Cullen," she said firmly. "You love the outdoors and boring classical music. You're favourite colour is black, you text like a weirdo, and I'd love to know you're favourite book, and movie, and your philosophical views on the meaning of life. Fangs or no."

Silence.

Jessica cleared her throat. "I mean it, okay? So don't ignore me tomorrow or block my number, just because I had a quick little freak out tonight, okay?" She shrugged and smiled slightly. "Besides, it would suck having a cute guardian angel that couldn't talk to me."

More silence, and then, "None of what you said changes what I am."

Jessica slumped. What? No! Her Jessica Stanley Trademark speech did nothing?

"But," he continued. "I promise not to block your number or ignore you at school tomorrow."

Well. Half-win. For now.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She smiled softly and fell back in bed. "Good night."

"Good night, Jessica Stanley."


AN: 1, Stomach Aflame isn't a real beer brand, I made it up lol. 2, those "3s" in front of Edward's text name are supposed to be text hearts. Screw FF for not showing them but they're staying!

Finally, I hope you enjoyed! Lemme know if you did and (hopefully) see u next week!

Fantasy Fan OUT!