6B: Repercussions Recovery
After two days, Peter needed a new plan. Neal was eating under his watch, which was more than most of the others could get, but he still wasn't sleeping. They had narrowed down to Jones and Diana on the team by day and Peter handled Neal outside of the office, but it wasn't enough. Making a decision, that desperate situations call for desperate measures, Peter called June and worked out a new plan.
At the end of the day, Peter met Neal at his desk and waited while he finished his case notes before closing down his station. It was much of how they'd been working since Neal was struggling to keep his focus. Then they went and got some food out as Peter hoped Neal would enjoy a bit of their normal interaction. Plus, he couldn't use 'kid gloves' with Neal in public so he stepped back and enjoyed the quiet meal.
When they finished Peter drove them to June's. Neal seemed surprised when they pulled up. "I thought we'd give this a try. You aren't sleeping so maybe being at home will help."
Walking up with Neal, Peter felt his tension when he hugged him and saw his hidden look of dismay as he was leaving despite Neal's efforts to hide it. "I'm only a call away if you need me."
It was difficult, but Peter went to his car and moved it to keep up the ruse before settling in for the night. He didn't like pulling a con on his friend, but he hoped it would work.
The room was dark when the scream rent the air. It was a release of terrified panic that had Peter scrambling from his bed in June's guest room. He hoped this would work, that by letting Neal think he was alone he'd quit putting on an act, and it seemed to be working.
Moving quickly and quietly, Peter got to Neal while he was still asleep but fighting his memories. The kid was thrashing against his blankets like they were attackers. Throwing them back, Peter then turned on the light so that he could avoid getting hit if possible.
In reaction, Neal flew into a sitting position and started squinting around against the light in panic. He was breathing heavily and shivering.
Sitting on the bed, Peter reached out to Neal while reassuring him. "It's just me, Peter. You're safe, Neal." Putting his arms around the kid, he pulled Neal into a hug and held on despite the initial flinch.
"P…Peter? You left…" Neal stuttered softly in confusion.
Something wet hit his cheek and rolled down Peter's neck so he hugged Neal tighter hoping to comfort him through the tears. "I only let you think that hoping you'd finally let your guard down. You've had yourself so protected that you can't heal from this. I'm glad it worked, but you've got to let someone in. June lent me the guest room next door for as long as necessary or you can stay at my place. As I said, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, but I need you to let me help."
"How?" Neal seemed to be genuinely unsure. "My experience with psychiatry is pills that suppress, they don't help. They're supposed to be distantly professional, no one listens."
Hugging the kid as close as he could, Peter hated the hurt he could hear behind the statements. "I don't know what your childhood entails, but I'm listening. I don't even have my badge. As long as you didn't kill anyone, then I'm open to listening to anything you need to talk about, whether it be the recent situation or your childhood. Simply talking it out with someone who cares is the best cure for these things... Then time for the injuries to heal."
Neal seemed to cry harder despite his efforts to fight his emotions. He was trying, but it was too much for him.
"Don't fight it, let it out, Neal. You'll feel better." Peter crooned comforting words. He was normally awkward with emotions, but something about helping his friend seemed to overcome that. Neal mattered so much more than his own comfort did.
Continuing to cry, Neal lost the battle completely. His tears continued to fall even after he fell into an exhausted sleep.
Holding his friend, Peter kept up the comforting words even after Neal's weight was leaned into him and he could hear his steady breathing. Eventually, he lowered Neal to lay him back on the bed. Then he proceeded to tuck him in and turn out the light. Moving quietly, he then settled himself in on Neal's couch for the rest of the night.
The couch wasn't as comfortable as the bed, but Peter managed to be there whenever Neal stirred. The crick he had in his neck the next morning was worth staving off Neal's nightmares so that he could finally sleep.
When he woke up, Peter had sunlight streaming into his eyes. Glancing towards the bed, he was glad to see Neal still sleeping soundly.
Taking advantage of the opportunity, Peter slipped back to his room for a shower and got dressed. Then he met June on the landing who insisted on arranging breakfast on the terrace. She wanted to see Neal for herself and Peter didn't want to disturb Neal any sooner than necessary so he agreed to the arrangement.
Peter was folding his blanket when he heard a moan. Looking at Neal's bed showed movement. Either Neal was dreaming again or he was waking up.
Listening, Peter heard his moan turn agonizing, whatever pain he was dreaming about, it was intensifying! Dropping his blanket, Peter hurried over to the bed and sat on the side.
Pulling the blankets down, he could see a nasty-looking scar on Neal's side where his shirt had hiked up. Distracted, Peter shifted Neal's shirt for a better view. It looked like Neal had been stabbed based on the large center, but the rough edges showed that violence had followed the injury. Then the skin looked off like it was healing from a contaminant; poison, infection, both? What made Peter sickest was that this wasn't the only thing to happen to Neal. In his sleep, he'd talked about being locked in the dark, cried out for beatings to stop, and screamed about burning in his sleep amongst other mutters that Peter hadn't been able to decipher.
Taking a moment, Peter worked to put his own mask on. He needed to help his friend, not make Neal feel guilty and hold it in.
When he was ready, Peter reached out to touch Neal's shoulder and shook to wake him up.
Apparently, the nightmare had escalated enough that Neal flew off the bed.
Using his hold, Peter directed his friend into his shoulder without clashing heads. Neal's panicked breathing, stiffening posture, and his hands automatically trying to push Peter away indicated a startled reaction as his friend was still engulfed in the dream. "Whoa, it's alright, Neal. You're safe! I've got you." Peter automatically fell into a crooning tone again as he held one arm around Neal's torso and had his other hand cupping the back of his head.
Neal seemed to catch up to his environment and slowly regained control of his panic. He was still upset, but at least he could channel his emotions into fidgeting.
"What was the dream about?" Peter tried to balance ordering boss and concerned friend.
"My abduction, it was like being taken all over again and knowing what was coming." Neal shivered and moved to run his hand through his hair.
Taking Neal's hand, Peter put an object into it that he could move and fidget with. Elizabeth's father had suggested the toy as something harmless Neal could use. Then he started moving his own fingers in Neal's hair in a gentler but still comforting fashion. "How did they take you?" Peter took the opportunity to begin addressing Neal's issues.
"I was sleeping…" Neal shivered but continued. "There was a brief shuffle sound that woke me up, but they were already on me. Several of them had my bed surrounded so it was easy for them to divide up with some holding my legs while others held me by arms. Stretched out like that, I couldn't get enough leverage to get loose. Then one of them, a smaller man, crawled up to sit on my chest. It was hard to breathe… then it got harder." Neal's panic was palpable.
Peter hated to do it, but he knew Neal needed to talk. "Why? What did he do?"
Starting to cry some, Neal didn't seem to know for sure. He only knew that the man had been their torturer and was very good at his job.
Taking a mental note, Peter would need to tell the other agents to be on guard for a small torturer. Perhaps someone could identify him if they were lucky.
Finally opening up, Neal seemed to pour his story out, at least the horrifying start.
Listening, Peter stiffened and felt his own tears pool in reaction to what Neal had endured. The men who had held him were cruel and hadn't wasted any time.
Reaching a point where he couldn't handle talking, Neal stopped and just sat there with the fidget toy in one hand and a fistful of Peter's shirt in the other. His head rested against Peter's shoulder as he breathed.
"I'm so sorry we didn't know to keep them away from you, to get you back ourselves so that you didn't go through so much. You don't deserve it, no one does." Peter managed to get it out without showing too much of his emotions. Neal would expect a reaction, but he needed to focus on releasing his monsters. There was no response though so Peter assumed Neal was just lost in the memories.
While he waited, Peter worked on providing comfort to Neal and keeping his own masks in preparation for when Neal would need him to be more attentive.
After a while, Neal breathed a little deeper and pulled back. He didn't look at Peter, but rather put his focus on the activity on the terrace. "June insisted on it, didn't she?" It wasn't really a question; his tone was more like he needed reassurance in his knowledge.
"You have a lot of people who care about you. She wants to see how you're doing for herself," Peter confirmed while looking Neal over. The kid's face was pale and tear-stained and his eyes were distant, but he looked a little more relaxed than he had in a long while.
"I wish it didn't always take things like this for people to show it." Neal seemed to mutter to himself unaware it was audible.
Flinching, Peter knew he deserved that. He normally focused mostly on Neal's criminal activities. He'd apparently missed a lot. "Me too, Neal, me too," he dropped his remaining hand from Neal's shoulder. Maybe the kid didn't want his help?
Getting up, Neal went to the bathroom to at least clean up enough to hide the bulk of his emotions. He didn't seem inclined to entirely hide from June, but he wasn't showing everything either.
Alone, Peter went back to picking up his sleep supplies and tucked them away in the guest bedroom. If Neal was up to it, they'd try to get some casework done at the office, or he'd leave him with June to keep him company if he was too drained. Either way, the agents monitoring him would keep him safe.
Going out to get his breakfast, Peter met June as she sat sipping her coffee. "How is he?" She asked.
Sighing as he helped himself, Peter was at least glad to report. "Better, he slept most of the night."
"But," June saw right through him and lowered her cup to the table.
"He made a comment, that he wishes people showed their concern for him without things like this happening first. I don't know if he wants to open up to me. Sure, he talked about his initial abduction, but he seems to focus on putting up barriers to keep me away. I wish Mozzie were here, he seemed to do a better job of getting Neal to open up." Peter found himself venting a little bit, hoping June would understand.
Waiting until he'd finished, June let him get it off of his chest. Then she gave her perspective. "Neal hasn't said anything to me other than that he was abducted, rescued, and returned. I haven't even seen him for myself. You might feel like he's rejecting you, but he did stay at your place for two days and he hasn't ordered you out of the loft. Don't underestimate how much he wants your support."
Peter hoped she was right. He could come up with counter-arguments that Neal felt he was his handler so he couldn't order him off, but Peter also knew Neal wasn't afraid to let him know when he wasn't happy with him. Perhaps Neal was warring within himself wanting to be comforted but also feeling upset with him for how he'd reacted to Neal's disappearance?
There wasn't much time to mull over it before Neal himself joined them. He hadn't fully dressed, but at least he'd taken a quick shower and shaved before donning the basics of his suit. Taking his seat, Neal greeted June and answered her questions while helping himself to some coffee and a small plate of food.
It was more than he'd eaten or slept at his home so Peter couldn't help but wonder if it was Neal being home and dropping his masks when he was alone, or if talking it out and his presence had helped. As much as Peter wanted to see Neal improve, he hoped his friend would let him help and not see him as an obstacle.
Although he kept the focus on what June had done in his absence, Neal maintained conversation throughout the entire meal. When he finished, he told Peter he'd be ready to go to the office shortly.
Since he was mostly ready, Peter remained behind to enjoy his coffee and the view. It had been a long night for him as well and he'd have the team to lead, the other triplets to work with, and his caseload to handle.
June seemed to sense his fatigue and let him relax. He'd voiced his primary concerns, now it was up to Neal to show what he wanted.
Sitting in the conference room, Peter wasn't surprised to glance up to find the other triplets, Jones, and Diana entering before closing the door behind them. They had time before the meeting and apparently wanted to talk.
"Has Neal talked to you? He's being tight-lipped with the rest of us." Diana got to the point as she took a seat ahead of the others.
"Not really, he talked about the abduction a little, I've seen one of his scars, and he talked in his sleep. Most of what I've got is conjecture." Peter admitted that even he was generally unsuccessful.
Junior spoke up from his seat. "Our agent was barely able to get the official report out of him. Neal doesn't seem to be keen on sharing his problems with anybody, no matter how beneficial it might be for him."
Sliding over the notes he'd been taking, Peter hoped they'd help to clear up the case. They needed to take those responsible down and not just the henchmen who had been with Neal when he was found. The torturer and those who initiated the attack had to be caught!
Whistling, Bryce was impressed. "That's more than the official report has. Neal seems to be a lot more comfortable talking to you. Do you have the training to handle stuff this bad?" Bryce seemed concerned.
That was ultimately something of a worry for him as well. "No, I have basic training, a little experience in hostile situations, and my wife's father is a psychologist so he provides some basic ideas. Mostly, I'm just trying to be there for him and show that I care."
"It seems to be working," Jones piped up. "Neal looks like he slept, ate and he seems more relaxed than he was yesterday."
Sharing notes, the general consensus was that Neal was improving with Peter's care and encouragement to keep it up.
When the meeting started, the team added Peter's notes and continued working towards capturing those responsible.
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