-TW for writing about intense body image issues after the second section break-

Fiona took another deep breath, she smiled again. The fresh air was something she relished in. There were so many scents on their journey over the countryside. A little embarrassingly, she found herself even enjoying the bad ones. She hadn't smelt anything different in so long. She was a little worried her senses would be dampened. But she had been listening to all of the different sounds and exploring everything she could look at with her eyes. Her senses were overwhelmed; in a good way, of course. She'd asked if she could actually explore places, but her prince was far too keen on getting her home. They had a tight schedule; for her own comfort, he explained. It made sense, she supposed, she hadn't been home in years. But she found that home was the last thing on her mind, what with everything she was finally experiencing.

Still, Charming told her that it would take a few days to get home and they were making their way to their first stop for supper and a night's rest. Part of her wanted to continue on the road after they stopped to eat - surely there would be enough time to make it to another resting place before they needed to sleep - but her eyes reflexedly glanced towards the sun; it had passed noon and was beginning its slow decent. Anxiety began to dig its claws in.

The curse was broken, she told herself. It was broken by true love's kiss, she knew that, he'd told her that. Just… she expected to feel different, and well, it didn't.

"Don't worry, I shall send for a carriage in the morning. Riding on horseback for hours is no task for a princess," Charming ended her wonderings.

She hesitated, considering the carriage. It would certainly be much more comfortable. She looked around the landscape once more. "I don't mind, actually," she spoke nonchalantly. Of course, if he found that strange, she would opt for the carriage. She needed to be a princess first and foremost.

He chuckled in a low voice, "You're quite the adventurous type." He glanced back over his shoulder, flashing her a smile. "I like that."

She allowed the smile to spread over her face, tightening her grip around his torso. "Well, I've sat inside for long enough, waiting for this… for you."

He hummed favourably at her. "Yes, my angel cake, and I've spent a lifetime waiting for the moment when I could save you."

Fiona's brow creased and she spluttered a little, unable to keep the laughter to herself.

"What?" He seemed upset.

She supposed what he said was very romantic but – "Angel cake?"

"Oh, do you mind if I call you things like that?" he asked airily. "Well, I don't think I'd change even if you don't like it, you're just too sweet."

She giggled at him. "Well what do I call you?" she asked playfully.

He shrugged at her. "Anything that rolls off the tongue."

"Like… honey?" she spoke the first thing that popped into her mind.

"Hm, maybe a little more creative than that, my sugar plum sweetheart." He lowered his voice, "I'm sure I'll have you thinking creatively in no time at all."

She blinked at his suggestive tone, trying to ignore the terrible nickname he'd just given her. "Okay?" She laughed, finding herself desperate to move onto a new topic. He'd spent the majority of the journey telling her about the brave deeds he'd done in his life. He was quite impressive, she had to admit. In fact, she'd yet to say much at all other than gush over him. They'd not really gotten to know each other. "So… Tell me about you… Before the gallant deeds…" she ventured hesitantly.

He paused. "Well, I started training with a sword before I can remember. I won my first prize when I was eight. By the time I was fifteen I was the best in all the land, no less. I haven't taken a class in swordsmanship since I was a teen, no need for it…"

Fiona found her eyes glazing over as she made noises in all the right places. He was… just what she expected, she realised. All she had ever wished for was a prince to save her, and he would be brave, adventurous and sweet. He checked all of her boxes, and yet… she wasn't captivated by his every word like she expected to be. He was looking ahead at the path as he spoke, he couldn't see her slight frown as she considered the situation. Perhaps it's because they hadn't found common ground. She'd been hoping to find something she could chime in with, but she couldn't. Finally he paused and she took a reckless chance, "What about when Prince Charming doesn't have a sword in his hand…?"

"What do you mean?" he was confused.

"Well…" she paused in thought, "What do you like to read?"

"Reading?" he asked like he'd never heard of it.

"Do you not like books?" Fiona questioned. Surely he liked books. There were all kinds of books a person could enjoy, perhaps she'd read one that he liked. It could be their common interest... even if it was a book she disliked. She'd read all the books in the tower so many times, she could discuss any of them in length. He'd surely make it enjoyable for her, she'd learn to love it because he did-

"No."

Her fantasy came to a crashing end. "Oh."

"I feel like there's two kinds of people; those who create the stories and those who read them." He puffed out his chest. "I am a creator. People write stories about me."

"What about the people who write the stories? The authors?" Fiona poked into his theory. She'd written many stories. Sometimes she'd write stories just to give herself something new to read.

"Hm," he paused in thought, "they are honoured readers. They create the tales they could never live. Nothing like you or I. We are creating a story right now."

Fiona smiled wistfully. "I've read so many books," she spoke only to hear his reaction. Of course, she was holding back the reality of how much time she'd spent reading. She'd read her favourite book so many times she could recite the best chapters word for word. In fact, she knew how to do a pretty good dramatic performance of those chapters, not that she would admit it.

"Ah, that must have been terribly boring for you, my love. Don't worry, our story will skip over that part. You won't need to think about it ever again."

She frowned, fading into silence. Of course, the fairy tale that would result from her rescue would skip over the very part that made it difficult for her. It would go into great detail about the struggles her prince had, but not her. Still, she knew that she wouldn't want to read such a boring story. Perhaps it was for the best. Surely her life up until now would only depress people.

"Here," Charming perked up again, "this is the next part of our story, Princess."

Fiona watched the town slowly approach them.

Everyone stared at her as they travelled through the streets. Charming had slowed the horse, he sat straight, proudly. He was showing off, she could tell. She tried her best to look as perfect as she could, though she wished he would hurry. Spending so long in isolation, she didn't feel prepared for that many eyes just yet.

She leant closer to him. "Can we go faster?" she whispered.

He leant back to reply, "You know that part in the story, where the royals are traveling down the little street and everyone is watching…"

She did recall seeing many pictures of the exact scene.

"That's this part. We need to do it. For the fairy tale."

She nodded. It certainly made sense. Why else would she have laid in her bed and pretended to be sleeping when he entered her room? It was the same thing. She blinked away her unease and sat a little straighter, smoothing over her skirt.

Fiona realised quickly that being a princess meant people would stare... a lot. She couldn't avoid it, even after they'd safely reached their destination. Throughout dinner and the entertainment, there was always someone standing closely, smiling at the pair of them. Or others, talking about them in hushed whispers. Even when Fiona would meet their gaze, they kept staring. Charming told her it was because she was beautiful; they were both beautiful people and she should take it as a compliment. Her prince very much did take it as a compliment; he would play into it, smiling that dazzling smile back at them - he even gave one group a wink. Fiona couldn't ever imagine winking at a group of people. Still, she supposed she was beautiful, not that she really knew. She hadn't seen herself in a few years, and prior to that she was far too focused on her night time form. She just relied on what her parents had always told her.

Finally, she found herself looking at a mirror. She had been shown to her room and it was the first thing she spotted. She curiously stepped towards it. She found herself a little apprehensive about what her reflection would hold. Of course, there were small reflections she'd caught glimpses of, in her water basin, in Charming's armour. But never anything clear. She looked at herself, taking in her appearance. She was surprised at how much older she looked. Her soft, somewhat rounder late-teenage features had evened out. She no longer looked like a child at all.

She was beautiful. She smiled at herself. It had been a long time since she'd considered herself in that way. Far before the tower itself.

There was a gentle knock at the door, but no wait for a response. Charming let himself in.

"Ah, I'm glad you found a mirror," he commented, looking into it. He flicked his hair, smiling at himself. Finally, his eyes met hers in the reflection, he put an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. "What do you think?"

She giggled. Being pressed against him felt so odd without his armour. She could feel the shape of his muscular body. Beholding the sight of them in the mirror, she seemed to fit against him well. "I like it," she confirmed.

"We're perfect." He kissed her head. "Fiona, I love you," he was still looking at their reflection.

She looked away from the mirror, to him. "I love you too." She could feel her heart fluttering.

He leaned down and kissed her softly. Though, he didn't only kiss her once, and the kisses grew in intensity. She tried to keep up with his demanding lips, until his mouth didn't leave hers. It made her nervous, she was new to everything. And it only made her question if he was too. He didn't seem very new at it. He began pushing her toward the bed. She desperately tried to shuffle along with him without breaking their kisses. He pushed her down onto the soft bedsheets, for a moment she almost resisted - though she didn't know why she would want to stop him. He was her true love after all. It's not like intimately kissing was ruled out before marriage. But then she felt his hand lean gently, purposefully against her thigh, he slowly stroked upwards until-

"Stop!" She pushed herself away from him, breathless. "What are you doing?" She scooted away from him, trying to compose herself.

His face turned from shocked to a light smile. "I just can't help myself around you." He moved closer. "You're so beautiful," he mumbled, leaning towards her face again.

Fiona jumped up. "We can't." She folded her arms.

He pouted. "No one needs to know." He slyly looked around the empty room. "It can be our secret." He raised a suggestive eyebrow.

"No." She turned away from him, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

She quickly walked to the balcony, leaning on the railing. She tried to process her thoughts, wishing she were truly alone. Against all her expectations, she found herself yearning for the solitude she'd just escaped from. She blinked, looking out at the beautiful fields her room overlooked. She thought she knew what happened when one found their true love. She was so sure she knew how it would feel. Of course she expected to be taken by surprise, she was ready to have her expectations smashed entirely. But… not like this…

"I'm sorry."

His voice was soft, in the doorway.

Fiona resisted the urge to turn to him. She was mad at him and she intended to show it, fairy tale or not. She didn't react.

"It's just…" he stood beside her, looking out to the view himself, "as much as you've waited for me, I've waited for you too… Fiona. I feel like we've known each other forever, even though it's not been one whole day." He edged a little closer. "That's my mistake. You're right, kitten, we must show some decorum."

His eyes were then on her, the small smirk was toying at the edge of his lips. She nodded at him. He slipped a hand around her waist.

She took a breath. "You've known about me for a while, I understand that. But I have only just met you today," she explained herself in short. She could see how the viewpoints clashed.

"I don't deserve you, my dearest, your forgiveness is appreciated." He pulled her closer.

Her brow knitted for a moment, she hadn't given him any forgiveness at all. Only an explanation. She sighed, it didn't matter. In any case, she did forgive him. He was her true love after all. She allowed herself to lean against him.

Things grew quiet. The silence was different now they weren't on horseback or had entertainment to distract them. She found herself at a loss of what to say despite the slight discomfort. She found her eyes were locked on the pastel sky. The sun sinking. The anxiety began to crawl back watching the sun dip lower. She wished he would say something, even talk about his bravery again. She needed anything to distract her. It wasn't like she really had anything to say.

"You see, my beautiful Fiona," he finally broke the silence, gesturing out to the sunset, "your form is true now." He took hold of her hand, gazing at her.

Fiona smiled back. The sun was typically lower in the sky before her transformation took place, that moment was still yet to come. She quickly realised this was a moment she'd been waiting for. A moment she had high expectations for. In her mind, he'd always gotten the moment perfectly right. But of course, how would he ever know the exact time she transformed? Things were different in reality. She didn't correct him, allowing herself to be present instead – like how she'd always imagined herself to be.

"Yes," she renewed her smile, "I'm finally me."

"I think this calls for some champagne, Princess, don't you agree?" He drew her in for another kiss.

Fiona was glad he had closed his eyes so he couldn't see her momentary panic. She'd never had champagne or any kind of alcohol before. She knew her mother would sip at wine and her father would call for toasts of the bubbly liquid, but never before had she tried it. She smiled sweetly again as their kiss ended. "Of course." It was better now than never; she had to try it at some point after all. And why not this moment? She reasoned with herself; it certainly was a celebration. She nodded at him as he hastily left her alone on the balcony.

As soon as the door closed, her eyes were pulled back to the sky. Without Charming around there was no one to calm the growing nerves. She paced back and forth in small laps around the balcony, folding her arms over her stomach which had quickly grown queasy. It was nearing the time of her usual transformation. She flinched, squeezing her eyes closed… waiting… waiting… Don't be silly, she chastised herself - opening her eyes and taking a deep breath - of course the curse was broken-

The pain that plagued her morning and evening for the majority of her life struck her once more. It made the princess jump despite waiting for it. "No!" she gasped as the transformation took her beautiful true form. Fiona looked in horror down at herself, struggling to breathe. She was… an ogre. She looked at the pink sky and back down at herself again. The confusion hit her… and the panic. She quickly realised she was outside on a balcony, where others could easily see her. She flew inside, backing away from the doors. She turned quickly, staring at the door Charming had left through. He would be back. Incredibly soon. Fiona ran to the nearest hiding place she could think of, the ensuite bathroom. She slammed the door behind her, taking gasping breaths as she tried to figure out the situation.

The terrible thought of more nights like this entered her mind. He said the journey would take three more days to get back. It would mean three nights of hiding on the road. She racked her racing, panicked brain to find an excuse. It had to be a good one.

"Fiona?" Charming's voice called questioningly, "Where are you?"

Her face creased up, lip trembling. "Um… I had a thought," she spoke shakily. "Considering the curse, it might be wonderfully romantic if the first night we spend together would be… would be our wedding night," she forced as much honesty into her voice as she could. Everything would be fixed by their wedding night, she was sure.

There was hesitation from the other side of the door.

"Please, it would make things even more special…" she paused. "Like a fairy tale," she added - everything he did was for their fairy tale, she could have a turn too.

She heard him chuckle softly, though her enhanced hearing also caught a sigh. "Of course, my princess," he gave in. "Sleep well, my love."

"You too," she spoke eagerly, feeling the relief wash over her. "My..." she realised the word was stuck in her throat, "love," she whispered, looking down at herself. Her brow creased and tears began to fall as she heard his footsteps leave and the door close. The princess pressed her back against the bathroom door and she slid down to the ground.

"Why?" she mumbled to herself. "I love him. I do."

After a moment of crying into her hands, Fiona lifted her head and rested it on the door she was leaning against. She sniffed, listening to the silence. It was different out of the tower. It was quieter. Silence to her had grown to be the bubbling lava, the distant echoes of the dragon's movement. This, though, sounded like nothing. Perhaps even a very slight ringing in her ears. She allowed herself to look around the room, it was beautifully ornate. Perfect for a princess. She reluctantly looked to her hands. Not a princess like her of course. The inn keep would be offended if they knew an ogre was residing there. She sniffed, wiping her tears. Her eyes landed on the bathtub.

Before she allowed herself time to think about what she was doing, she let herself out of the bathroom and was stood at the entryway to her room, frowning at the closed door.

"Excuse me?" She opened the door to her room a tiny amount.

"Yes, Princess?" the male voice of the guard – Charming insisted – stationed outside of her door returned.

"I- I would like to take a bath. Please send someone to draw one for me," she spoke hesitantly.

"Of course, Princess." He began to move.

Fiona panicked. "Wait! Yes, I will be gone while they draw it. Please have them leave before I return. I-I wish to be alone."

"As you wish." She heard his nod. Fiona then looked around. She needed to hide. The princess quickly opened the closet doors and stepped inside. She closed the doors, shutting herself in. She couldn't see anything from the tiny crack of light the closed doors let in, but thankfully her ogre ears were pretty good. She often found her advanced hearing helped her sneak around the castle when she was younger. She just never thought she'd need to use it again upon leaving the tower. The princess bit her lip before she began crying.

Fiona undressed quickly, careful to not look down at herself. She stepped into the bathtub. Standing in the water was an odd sensation to her; it had been so many years since she had felt water lap around her legs. She lowered herself into the water, revelling in how it felt creeping up her body. It was strange how she had never missed bathing until now. When she left for the tower as a child, baths were a chore she'd have rather left undone. Therefore, they'd never really crossed her mind much more than being a convenience over the wet cloth she had to use in the tower. She laid back. She would have preferred the bath to be deeper, though any deeper, she would have caused it to spill over when she sat. That was because they filled a bath for a beautiful princess, she noted, the frown creeping upon her lips once again. The tub was even a little squashed for her when she tried to get comfortable, though she had grown used to confined spaces. She took a long-drawn breath. The water was soothing, no matter the state of her, or the tub. Still, her eyes were eventually drawn to her green, bloated body. Her face creased up, the hatred for herself quickly flowed back. Perhaps the bath hadn't been such a good idea.

She would often avoid being naked as an ogress entirely. She would put her nightgown on before the sun set, and only dress once the sun had risen again. If she forgot to undress as a human, she'd just forget about it altogether and sleep in the dress she was wearing. Of course that wasn't to say she never saw herself naked as an ogre. It was standing in front of the mirror naked at night time that caused her to smash the last of her mirrors. If she ever started to think favourably of herself in that state, a quick way to reset her attitude was to remove her clothes and look down. Poke at her flabby stomach and squeeze her thick thighs. The hatred would come back every time. She would have nightmares about her rescuer seeing her like that. He would rush to her room and then be utterly disgusted. Confused, the princess would look down and see... that. She stared at herself once more. The water only seemed to make the sight worse. The way her breasts floated on the water, the size of her thighs and knees stuck out of the bath. It disgusted her. And the smell. She suddenly became aware of it. She had trouble detecting it due to the years of isolation, but whenever she tried to smell it, it was there. Especially in the morning. She realised with horror that her prince might be able to detect it on her and her clothes the next day. She would have to request another bath in the morning to get rid of it... the smell that should be gone, along with the disgusting body and hideous face. The ogre that true love's kiss should have killed. And yet, there she was, laying naked in a bath after rejecting a night of celebration from her rescuer.

The princess started scooping water over herself in frustrated movements. She scrubbed hard at her skin. She needed to make the ogre smell go away. She wanted to scrub at her skin until it itself melted away and left her true self laying there in the water. Of course, no matter how hard she scratched away at her shoulders, her legs, her stomach, nothing changed. Frustrated tears began flowing over her cheeks. She took short, sharp breaths, wincing every now and again in pain as she scrubbed herself raw. She wanted it gone. She needed it gone. Otherwise she'd have to hide every night at sundown. And then what would happen when she got to the kingdom? The confusion and pain and anger towards the situation was overwhelming. She had to purposefully quieten her sobs, lest someone venture in to see what was wrong. That was odd, she didn't like it. In the tower she could wail to herself as loud as she liked. Sometimes, the louder the better. But here, she had to remain silent. Silent and tucked away. Just like before.

Finally, Fiona took a long breath and submerged her head. She used to do that when she was younger and get chastised by the maids who washed her - ignoring their demands for her to emerge. Fiona stayed under the water's surface until her screaming thoughts had passed. Until the only thing she could focus on was how much her lungs were begging for air. The princess sprung up again, gasping for breath, spilling water onto the floor around her. She smiled, laughed even; she had forgotten what it was like to need air like that. She watched with amusement as the water swayed in the tub. She rocked herself some more, making it spill over once again. Her laughter faded into a sigh, defeated. She looked around, her only other options were to confess and see what happened, or take herself back to the tower. Both of those seemed terrible. She just had to adjust her outlook.

This was good. She concluded. The bath, the water. She only had that because she was free. She allowed herself to take in the room around her again. It was beautiful. Completely different to the room she had grown so used to. Yes there had been a hitch with the curse - not that she had the brain capacity to think about exactly why. But of course it would end up okay, that's just how happily ever after worked. Perhaps she just wasn't there yet - she was still in the middle of her rescue after all. She looked to the door, he was her rescuer. He loved her. If he did accidentally catch a glimpse of her, he would sympathise with her distress. Her parents watched her grow up like this. Everything would turn out fine. She leant back, relaxing into the tub. And then she'd marry her prince and they'd have their happily ever after. She could fully embrace him then. Tonight though, was her first night of freedom, ogre or not. She closed her eyes. She was rescued. The tower was gone, the ogre would be soon. She took a deep breath, she just had to adjust her expectations.

. . .

Thank you all for reading :) Also, thank you anonymous reviewer for the blogs!