Chapter Fifteen: Feelings

'Sleep Rin."

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The sun began to shine through the small window of Rin hut. Groggily, Rin cracked open her eyes slightly and turned to the left to avoid it. She knew it was well past noon now but she still didn't want to get up, luckily Kagome hadn't bothered her either and for that Rin was grateful.

As she began to lull herself back to sleep, she became consciously aware of the heat radiating next to her. The woman opened her eyes again and saw her Lord fast asleep next to her.

All at once the event of last night began to replay in her mind, truly she was shocked at how calm she felt. She felt no embarrassment or shyness in regards to their passionate night or being stark naked in bed with him.

Propping up on her elbow, she studied his sleep form. All the lines on his face were relaxed and his mouth parted open slightly reveal his sharp fangs. Long white eyelashes remained closed as he slept peacefully through the morning. Sesshomaru had his arm bent with his head resting on top. All of his hair was pulled over his shoulder and the blanket rested on his hip bones.

'I wish to wake up like this every morning.' she thought.

Rin traced the red streaks that adorned his chest with her finger in awe at how beautiful he was, how whoever designed him had used everything possible to make him so.

Careful not to wake him up, she scooted closer to him and began falling back to sleep. Rin wasn't sure what to make of the situation but it had been a long night. They were definitely closer than they were before.

Sesshomaru

The demon Lord was tempted to open his eyes as he felt her ghost-like fingertips running along his demon marks but kept them closed to see what she'd do. The events of last night changed their relationship, she was no longer his ward but his lover. He felt her shift closer to him and when her breathing evened out, he knew she was back asleep. Hesitantly he brought her into his arms and stared down at the top of her head as she absent mindedly snuggled her nose into his chest.

The demon was not used to this affection. She wasn't the first woman he'd been with but this was much different, the feel of her was much different. Most of the demon women he'd slept with, he was gone the next morning. Yet, he'd slept. Sesshomaru has no need for sleep, but he was out before he realized it and that was a dangerous thing for a demon.

The state of vulnerability was unbecoming and yet, conflictingly so, he's grateful to her. Rin makes him feel at ease as she always did. He finds himself holding back a laugh or a smile by her witty sense of humor, the out of the blue question that makes him have to search for an answer. Without much thought, his conversations with her last a very long time. He said more words to her that night in the tree above the lake than he'd bothered to say to his own father.

Suddenly the human in his arms shifted with her back to him. Sesshomaru carefully placed his hand below her belly button and used his thumbnail to lightly carve a half moon onto her delicate stomach. It was a thin scratch but it drew a bit of blood, which was necessary for what he was doing.

She stated many times how uneager she was for children, this was his means of ensuring that. He knew she'd no doubt be confused when she awakes…

Silently, he unwrapped his arms from her form and began to dress, but he kept his armor off because he wasn't going far.

Soundlessly, he slipped out the door and flew back towards the forest.

Rin

It was several hours later when Rin began to stir. Slowly, she sat up and grimaced. She felt soreness in the pit of her stomach and between her legs as she got up and covered herself in a dark, purple kimono.

The young woman exited her hut, heading directly into the forest towards the hot spring. As she proceeded down the route, she was consciously aware of someone following her. Abruptly, she stopped walking.

"Whoever you are, come out." she stated, irritably. Rin was in no mood for games.

Rusling of the tree made her spin around on her heels, prepared to attack if necessary. Luckily, it was partially light out and she could see somewhat of the dark figure emerging from the shadows.

A tall man, with dark clothing and his hair tied into a ponytail.

'Kohaku?' she thought.

Upon noticing her demon slayer friend, she dropped her defensive pose and looked at him questionably. Kahaku held no smile, his eyes were covered by his dark bangs as his head hung low.

"Why are you lurking around like that? You could've said something." she reprimanded.

Kohaku remained silent and dropped to his knees a few feet away from her.

Concerned, Rin took a step forward.

"Kohaku?" she questioned.

"Stop!" He said loudly.

Rin's eyes grew wide with shock at his tone; but remained where she was, Kohaku had never raised his voice to her.

"Rin. I am sorry. Please forgive my behavior from last night.. it was uncalled for and I was distressed. I never meant to hurt you and I shouldn't have grabbed you like I did when you dismissed all my advances. You are my best friend and I shouldn't have done that." He said, solemnly.

Rin opened her mouth to speak but he shook his head, "Let me finish. I do not ask you to return my feelings but I must ask why. Please tell me why I'm not even an option in your eyes."

Rin thought for a moment on how to respond. It wasn't because of Lord Sesshomaru she rejected him or any other man that proposed to her. It was that she simply didn't want or see them in that light. Rin wasn't looking for marriage or a partner, what happened with Lord Sesshomaru just…happened and it was the most natural thing for her to do.

Kohaku wasn't a bad match for her, she knew that he'd only ever looked out for her. Kohaku was one of the kindest souls she'd come across and he retained that kindness even through all the darkness in his life. Rin didn't wish to hurt him but she couldn't hide how she felt just to make him feel better, that would be cruel to him.

Rin sighed, "Kohaku. There truly isn't a reason why I feel as I do, that is just how I feel. You've always been a brother to me and I've never seen you how you've seen me or entertained the possibility of a relationship of that kind with you. Asking me why I won't return your feelings, when I've never felt that way towards you is like asking why the birds sing. There is no reason, they just do. I can't give more of a reason than that."

Silence fell between the two of them. An eerie deafening silence.

Kohaku slowly raised his face up with a smile as tears shed down his face, "You're quite cruel Rin."

Rin's eyes soften, "No. It would be cruel if I lied to you. I'm sorry I can't return your feelings but you will find someone who will love you in the way you want."

The woman said no more, turned around and continued her way to the spring.

He did not follow her, and Rin did not look back.

This chapter was supposed to be uploaded a long-time ago! Sadly, my laptop broke and I wasn't able to keep up with writing chapters, this chapter in particular was a difficult one write. Mainly because I wanted to try to keep this character in tune with how they're portrayed in the anime. Anyways, let me know how you guys felt about it!