A/N: Apologies for vanishing yesterday, life hit me with a brick. Sorrrrryyy~!
...an actual brick, among other things.
To make a long story short, some nasty shit happened yesterday. By the time I got it all sorted, I was so wound up that I couldn't write at all that day. Oh, I tried mind you, but it came out all angry and angsty, and this story isn't about that.
Wound up playing Elden Ring instead, because, ironically, its a good way to vent. Ganked Godrick, toppled the Tree Sentinel, killed an annoying Royal Knight -Loretta- and traipsed aaaaall the way to Ranni's Rise just to see what "best girl" everyone's been badgering about. Curious. We'll see where her questline goes.
Site's being weird, hopefully everyone can see this. Its a little rougher than I like, but I dare not go all out with the site acting up. Had to cut the length shorter than usual; if only because everything's glitched at the moment.
Still here!
As ever, the Embers rule still persists. If folks don't like this story? Well...I'll not continue it. I can't bear to write something no one likes. That's no joke. So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do! I'm literally working every day now, so I have less and less time to write. Daily updates might...slow down for a bit, but I know that would upset a lot of people. Its just hard with two jobs.
No questions, not this time.
Alright, I think I've kept you long enough.
Hopefully this chapter brings a smile to your face.
And if you laugh while reading this, well, all the better.
As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. Not a wit or a one! Really, they're just tributes...
"Call me god, while they? Alright. This means war~!"
~A Future Scene.
A Merry Monster
There comes a time in everyone's life, when they wonder if they've gone mad.
Naruto didn't feel particularly mad at the moment; angry or otherwise. On the contrary. His thoughts were very much orderly and clear-downright transparent, even. He was out of his depth here. He knew that; he'd come to accept it, even if he didn't necessarily enjoy it. There could be no denying it. For all he'd said and done, no, perhaps in spite of it, the people of Menagerie still believed him to be a god. Hell, poor Amitola wanted him to TRAIN her in his so-called godly ways after his latest display.
As if he could do that!
Reluctantly, the blond's sullen thoughts returned to reality. He remembered where he was sitting, and it was this that turned his thoughts sour. Reclining upon the Chieftain's throne, he looked down from the dais, gazing upon another...what had Kali called them? Supplicants? Right, that was the word. He didn't think he'd have to preside over petty disputes like this; it seemed such a trivial thing in the beginning, but to these people, such matters were akin to life and death.
Even if they were about bloody property lines.
"And we still need to find who poisoned that kid."
"Trevor, right." he muttered, thoughts turning inward as a man and a woman continued to argue under him.
Anyone going around trying to kill babies was someone who needed to be dealt with...personally. His clones hadn't turned up anything. Maybe it was time to handle it himself.
Unfortunately, that wasn't something he could do when had the entire island banging on his door.
Make him High Leader, would they?
Call him God, would they?! Ignore his protests, would they?!
Two could play this game. He thumped a fist down on the armtest of his throne. "I hereby declare Ramen the national food of Menagerie! That will all be for today."
Someone had the nerve to protest. "But-
"Enough." he raised a hand and plastered a smile to his face that he no longer felt. "I don't want to hear another word about this. We'll divide the land up once its settled up proper. Properly!" clicking his tongue, he waved them out. "I don't have anymore patience for the two of you...or any of you today, really. Out."
Another man bridled behind him. "But your excellency, what about my cabbages?"
Cabbages?! The hell was this one on about?!
"No buts! Out!"
He watched them go, trying not to feel guilty for sending them away. A day. He just needed some damn time to himself. Was that so much to ask? Evidently so. Turning great swathes of desert into lush greenland wasn't something one could take back. People had noticed; if only . People had also decided to claim said property before their neighbors; which in turn set off something of an arms race, albeit for land. He was starting to envy Menagerie's last Chieftain. Why couldn't he have just given the role to Ghira? Surely would've done a better job than...this.
"Having fun, my lord?"
"Call me that again," he peeked through the fingers of his right hand, "And I'll throw you into the sea. I'll do it this time, I swear."
"Now, now." Kali tutted as she plonked down into the seat beside him, "Is that any way to speak to an old friend?"
...bite me, Kali. Better yet?" he flicked a glance to Amitola, still taking notes by the central dais. "Bite her. Probably how she likes it."
Kali cackled even as the chameleon faunus turned a startled shade of pink. "Someone's grumpy today...
"No, you think?! Naruto scowled. "Whatever gave you that idea?"
Some of his frustration must've finally shown through, because the unlikely duo exchanged a bemused look. He frowned but didn't protest when Alesia took the spare chair on his right and dragged it closer. Still holding her clipboard in one hand, she laid a hand on his shoulder. Kali mirrored the motion on his right.
"You're tired, aren't you?"
"Exhausted, more like." he groaned, closing his eyes an pinching his brow. "But not tired enough to be blind. What're you doing to my shoulders?"
"Its called a massage, dear." Kali hummed, unrepentant. "You keep acting this grumpy, and you'll make a terrible father someday."
Amitola squeaked, even as her fingers dug into his left shoulder. "Kali!"
"What? Just being honest. I wasn't implying anything. Just lay back and relax...
Naruto blinked, mind still caught on her earlier words. "A family...?"
For a wild moment he actually imagined what a child of him and Kali might look like. He saw her in his mind's eye; a little girl bearing golden eyes, whiskered cheeks and dark hair, two feline ears twitching atop her head. She looked up at him with a cherubic smile. Blake. That sounded like a good name. Of course, that led him to imagining what Anna's children might look like, and from there he was lost. He imagined Sienna's and Amitola's, a cadre of tiny faces all vying for his attention, all calling out a singular word.
"Daddy!"
He absolutely choked.
"Huh." Kurama mused as he daydreamed. "They'd look quite nice, actually."
He had another fit of thought just then, perhaps whimsy or pique.
To hell with this. He needed a drink. Something strong.
...once they finished with this massage.
(.0.0.0.)
Times were a' changing.
Sienna saw the signs, and she knew what was to come.
For so long she'd tried to make herself heard, but no longer!
Revolution. He could make it happen. No, he would, if she had anyting to say about it.
With that kind of power he could lay waste to armies. Blow Atlas right out of the sky, if it came to that.
The world would learn to respect them. One way or anothr.
Their time was here at last.
Long may he reign.
(.0.0.0.)
How did one research a living god?
Or was Naruto a monster?
Hmm. Semantics!
Amitola wasn't sure which to categorize him was, but the irony certainly wasn't lost on her. She'd never put much stock in gods or monsters before. She knew they existed, naturally. She ha read all the stories as a child, grown up listening to tales at her father's knee. Every child had. And it almost made sense, from a certain point of view. It stood to reason that something must have created Remnant. Likewise, someone had given them Aura and in some cases, Semblances.
How else could one explain Grimm, or the distinction between Faunus and human?
But a higher power? She'd not believed in such...until recently. Now she was learning at the feet of an honest-to-goodness deity. He said he wasn't one, but were not the gods humble? Perhaps that was a bit contrived, but there it was. She'd seem him breathe life into death, create a lush forest from empty sand. If he wasn't a god she'd eat her boot and name her firstborn Illia. No wait, that wasn't a half bad name...thoughts for later, she supposed.
She released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. No doubt the others were making plans of her own. But that was neither here nor there.
A faint smile lit her face as she considered it. His personality was precisely what made him so fascinating.
"Enigma." she decided, scrawling out a hasty reminder on her clipboard. "Pester him later.
"Oi!" Naruto's voice carried, even with his eyes closed. "I can hear you taking notes. Whatcha writing this time?"
Alesia hid it behind her back. "Nothing, your eminence."
The scowl returned. "Don't call me that."
...well, in for a penny!
"Then what should I call you?" her tongue betrayed her before she could think better of herself. "Most holy?" a tan finger touched her chin, "Great one?"
Kali hid a smile behind her hand, content to watch the show. Not so Naruto. Even with his head tilted back, she still had the distinct sensation of him watching her; as if he knew exactly where she was, what she thought, and what she was about to do-ow! She recoiled, terribly startled as he flicked her forehead. "What was that for?!"
"You gonna stop now?"
...nope. She sketched a bow. "At once, your holiness."
His parting shout chased her through the door. "Aaaargh!"
(.0.0.0.)
Strength.
Anna Taurus understood it now, as she swung her sword. Those around her mirrored the motion, poorly perhaps, but she would break them of that habit in time.
This man, god or no, was the pinnacle of strength. Immortal or mortal, it didn't matter to her. He'd bested her in combat and won her attention, if not her head. Odd as that might sound, that was the truth. Those of the Taurus clan respected strength, and he'd proven himself
She raised her blade and continued to drill the soldiers before her.
Come what may, they would be ready. And then?
Naruto would be hers.
(.0.0.0.)
Ghira looked up as Naruto slouched his way into the bar. "Another long day?
Haggard blue eyes met his. "You don't know the half of it...
He didn't so much walk as he did stalk to the bar.
"Pour."
An able bartender he was not, but Ghira knew his way around the glasses well enough. In short order the blond hod a cocktail in hand; not long after that, he was beckoning for another.
"They don't stop, Ghira! How do I make them stop?! I'm starting to think you're the only sane one here!"
"There, there." the larger man clapped him on the back. "We all have bad days."
"Bad days?!" Naruto flung up his right arm, sending the amber liquid sloshing about within his tankard. "I'm having a bad month here! Honestly! Its like herding two cats! And a chameleon! And a bull! Not to mention-why are you laughing?!"
Ghira regarded him over the rim of his glass. "You're not a god, are you?"
"Finally!" Naruto cried, nearly spilling his drink. "Someone who gets it!
"Really?" A frown. "Then who are you, exactly?"
His erstwhile ally hummed drunkenly.
"Lemme tell you a story...
A/N: As ever, the Embers rule persists.
If folks don't like this? Poof! Gone! To the void it goes. Gone once and for all. Forever.
So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do!
So, in the Immortal words of Atlas...
...review, would you kindly?
And of course, enjoy the previews! Rough, though they are
(Previews)
"What's this about a festival now? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it, I'd love a chance to relax...
"OUT!"
Sienna heard rather than saw him kick someone in the arse; if only because they went sailing back through the door. They'd survive. Probably.
"That one STILL wouldn't shut up about his cabbages...
"Stop. I don't wanna be the bad guy."
"Dear boy, did you truly think it would be so easy? This world is against you; it will always be against you...and so you must fight to claim what is yours."
"Daaaaaad, quit it! Ugh, you're embarassing me!"
I would very much like to have a word with you...
"I'm sure you would. Unforunately I'm not interested in old men. Run along, now.
R&R~!