I killed those men.
I protected my family.
I killed them.
They deserved it.
I didn't even know their names.
What is Laura going to think of me now?
I almost killed that girl.
She kidnapped Elise.
I failed.
I can still save her.
It's all my fault.
On and on and on Rean's mind went into circles processing the events of the previous day as he laid down in his bed and eventually fell asleep, then came back to it in full force when he woke up. His body felt heavy, he didn't want to get up, he didn't want to touch his tachi, he didn't want to see his mother or his father or Elis- She wasn't there. She wasn't there because he failed her.
No, no I can't keep thinking like this, things aren't going to get fixed because I keep wallowing in self pity and doubt. My family needs me, I can't be a millstone around their neck anymore. Laura and my friends are out there fighting and he is out there too. I can't be weak, I'm not like that anymore. New Rean, right? Even if it's all my fault it just means I have to fix it. I have to be stronger. I have to be better. That is the only thing I can do.
After Vita Clotilde and her familiar left and the danger seemed to be over, Baron Schwarzer was rushed to the town's clinic. He had been shot in the stomach and the shoulder and lost a lot of blood but whatever it was that the witch did, it seemed to have avoided the worst by mending tissue and stopping the bleeding, though the man was still left unconscious.
Toval gathered a couple of the men from town and they went through the grisly task of burying the remains of the jaegers Rean had killed, as well as another one that was cut down by Baron Schwarzer himself, while others worked to repair the damage caused.
As much as they wished to stay by Teo's side the whole time, Lucia and Rean had to retire home as the small clinic also had to deal with other patients who had been injured during the attack and didn't have space to accomodate any guests.
Breakfast was a quick and somber affair for Lady Schwarzer and her son as they quickly got ready to visit Teo and with the news that his father was stable but showed no signs of waking up any time soon, Rean soon left to talk to Toval and Celine to discuss their next move. Afte a little over one hour and a heated debate between cat familiar and Awakener, their course of action had been settled and Rean returned to the Schwarzer residence to prepare himself to once again leave home and the town of Ymir but not before his mother had some parting words.
"Your father and I were going to give this to you as a gift to celebrate you finishing your first year at Thors," neatly folded in her arms was a brand new fur lined coat of excellent make that Lucia handed to her son. "It's red like your school uniform but a little bit of a darker shade and I think it suits you. Your father wanted the orange one like the family crest but the thing was hideous, and here I was thinking I had imprinted a sense of taste in him after all these years. Anyway, it's very sturdy so you don't have to worry about messing it up, it was practically made for going on adventures."
Seeing as it was futile to argue it was completely unnecessary, Rean relented and accepted the gift and removed the old hoodie he was wearing, and after looking at himself in his bedroom's mirror he did have to admit it looked good on him.
"Thanks, mom, it's great. And tell dad I liked it too."
Giving her son a look over, Lucia started to fuss over him and adjusted the collar of his new garment as well as his shirt making him roll his eyes. At least there was nobody else present this time. "Now, don't you look stylish? I'm sure your girlfriend will find you very handsome in it," she said with a playful wink of the eye.
"Mom, you don't have to act strong for me."
"Of course I do, it's the duty of a parent to be strong for their children."
That was all of course the woman buying herself time as she gathered courage for what she would have to say next. Steeling herself, Lucia took a deep breath and looked at her son. "There are a lot of conversations a parent dreads having with their children, mainly they are about sex or death and most parents are lucky on the latter because it's just about explaining to their five year old child why a relative or their pet has passed away."
Rean turned his face away to avoid his mother's gaze but she just placed both hands on the side of his head and turned him back to face her. "I wish I knew the exact words for this situation, if there even are any. I wish Teo was awake as he probably would know what to say."
"Yesterday, mom, I'm… working through it, you don't have to worry. I went to a military school, we all had this talk with our instructor and-"
With eyes that pleaded to her son to heed her words, Lucia interrupted Rean's bad attempt at brushing off the topic. "I know exactly what is going through your mind but those jaegers shot your father because he had already killed one of them defending us, so I don't want you to feel like you've done some unspeakable act that has tainted you and our family, you hear me? You've grown and you've changed but in my eyes you will always be my little boy. Out there you'll be faced with situations that will force your hand but I trust that you will do the right thing, Rean, and no matter what happens you will always have a place here with us."
Her arms wrapped around Rean and it gave him a sense of love and safety that only a mother could give. It felt reassuring that despite everything his mother could still find it in herself to love him. Her voice hadn't wavered for a moment but Rean could feel it was taking all of his mother's strength to maintain her composure and he was thankful for that, he didn't know if could handle it if she started to cry.
Swallowing a lump in her throat, Lucia let go of her son before going back to straightening his clothes. When she judged that the piece of outfit was sufficiently straightened out, she gave Rean a light tap on the chest and smiled. "So go out there and bring your sister back so we can be reunited as a family again, alright?"
"I was such an asshole to Elise and now…"
"Yes you were and now you'll have to fight through a bunch of people just to apologize to her, and honestly your father and I may have some words to you about your behavior later," it was like a switch had been flipped and Lucia Schwarzer reverted to her reassuring and slightly playful mood.
"You're taking this whole thing too well, mom. There's a war going on and there's these Divine Knights and witches and terrorists and-"
"And what else am I supposed to do? Tell you to not do anything like I could stop you? Ground you?" She shot him an amused look. "You were already leaving anyway to get your friends back, so it's not like much has changed in that regard."
"I guess not."
Lucia chuckled. "Now let's get going, we've dawdled long enough."
Mother and son left the Schwarzer manor and walked down the small incline that led to the townsquare where Toval and Celine awaited them alongside some of the citizens. Sheepishly, Gizmo took the initiative and approached them and Rean feared it was about what they had witnessed.
"Lady Lucia, Rean. A lot of crazy stuff happened here yesterday, a lot of regrettable stuff," the old man's voice was somber and humble, a tinge of regret hung over him and some of the other residents for being too scared to fight the previous day. "Your Bracer friend told us you are leaving to get Elise and Her Highness back and we just wanted to tell you to not worry about your folks over here. Just like the Schwarzer family has looked out for us, it's time for the people of Ymir to look out for them for a change."
"Mr. Gizmo's words are those of everyone, Lord Rean. As you journey in search of Lady Elise and your friends, know that we will do our utmost to keep your family safe," said Maple.
"So go out there and teach those dirty terrorists and jaegers what happens when you mess with the people of Ymir!" Gerald, the owner of the general store, said along with other encouraging words from the rest of the townsfolk.
Rean tried to say something about his power but was thoroughly interrupted by the citizens of Ymir, telling him that it wasn't none of their business. Lucia thanked everyone for the support and after a few more words everyone dispersed as there was a lot still to be done around the town.
"Well, I guess this is it, mom. I hope to see you soon."
"Take care, Rean," she gave him another tender hug. "Aidios willing, your father will be recovered when you return with Elise. And do bring your girlfriend, I am thrilled to meet her."
Rean chuckled awkwardly. "Sure, mom."
Toval watched the scene with a smirk while Celine tapped her paw on the ground, counting the seconds they were wasting with long winded farewells. A loud bark then caught their attention as Badeux came running as fast as he could considering the injury from the previous day. Though not seriously hurt, the jaeger's kick had sprained the dog's left foreleg.
"Aww you came to say goodbye too, boy?" Rean cooed and petted his dog, scratching behind his ear, and earned a major lick to the face. Badeux then looked at Celine and whined then looked back at his master. "Looks like he wants to say goodbye to his new friend too."
Celine groaned.
"Come on, Celine, be nice. He got hurt protecting my dad."
Another groan came from her with the addition of a roll of her eyes. "Fiiiine," the word dragged itself from her mouth and caused Badeux to bark excitedly as he moved in and gave Celine a big ol' lick across her face. She missed the period of her life when she had never met a dog before.
During the morning the trio had discussed what they would do next, saving Princess Alfin and Elise was a priority, though they had no idea where to start and even if they were to find where the girls were being held, raiding a base guarded by the Imperial Liberation Front, jaegers, provincial army soldiers and Ouroboros agents would be impossible with just the three of them.
"We are going to Legram," Rean had declared when Toval threw out the question.
"No, we have to go back to the Eryn village at the Isthmia Forest. Emma is probably there and we must reconvene with the elder," Celine countered.
"The Isthmia Forest? That's way over at Sutherland on the other side of the country, do you have any idea how long it would take to get there?"
"As if Legram is a stone toss away from our current location! You just want to go there for the Arseid girl, the country is at war and ancient magics are at work, we don't have time to satisfy your hormonal urges."
Rean really wanted to strangle that cat at that moment. "First off, her name isn't 'Arseid girl', it's Laura, alright? Second, she's one of the strongest fighters I know and we need her help. Third, I should not have to tell you that her father is the greatest swordsman in the country and captain of a cruiser airship whose mission was to stave off this very war going on and there are high chances that either he's at Legram or we could find clues as to his location there and through him Prince Olivert and the Courageous as well. So we are going to Legram and not to the village where your chief witch sat on her ass while her granddaughter joined an evil society and started a damned war!"
Rean was yelling, Celine was yelling, Toval wanted to call them both rabid dogs but it would be an insult to dogs. The Bracer put himself between the two of them before they jumped on each other's throats and mediated the discussion. "Look, guys, both ideas have their merits. We need more info on this Divine Knight business, Rean, and this elder witch may be what we need to counter someone like Vita Clotilde. Marquis Hyarms is also neutral in this conflict, making the Sutherland Province a good place to hide. However, Isthmia is far away and we would need to either go through the Heimdallr region, where a lot of fighting is going on, or go around through either Lamarre or Kreuzen, which just makes the trip longer and riskier.
"Meanwhile, yes, Legram is also far from Ymir and getting there isn't going to be easy with both Kreuzen and Nortia's armies under the power of the Noble Alliance, but Rean has a point about Viscount Arseid and the Courageous. It's also worth pointing out that Celdic is close to Trista and there are chances some of Rean's classmates fled there, including Laura, and with it being a trading hub it's a good place to stop by and gather info on our way to Legram. Before doing anything rash, we should build up our forces first.
"So, how about it? We go down south and stop by Celdic on our way to Legram. I know you are worried about Emma and want to go home, Celine, but we are limited on what we can do and have to be more practical."
Both Rean and Celine backed down and mulled over Toval's plan. The familiar begrudgingly conceded to the points made and Rean did his best to not sound smug when he agreed.
When the farewells were done for and Ymir was left behind them, the trio returned to the clearing where Rean and Valimar had fought the magic knight the previous day and where the Ashen Knight awaited them.
"At least Vita didn't mess with it," said Rean at the sight of the Knight in what seemed to be its resting position, one knee bent with one arm resting on top of it while the other had its fist planted on the ground. Reans' words seemed to draw an annoyed huff from Celine though he didn't understand what the problem was and decided to ignore her. "Even if she has her own agenda apart from the Noble Faction you'd think it involves the Divine Knights."
"Ouroboros are the masters of plans behind plans behind plans. Whatever her agenda is, it probably does involve you and your Knight but just not yet," said Toval.
Or she thinks I'm not worth worrying about after Crow beat me. "Right. Anyway, hey, wak-"
"I am already on stand by," Valimar quickly cut him off.
"Right, the mental connection."
[Indeed.]
"I sense trouble in the Awakener's heart," the Knight spoke up, directing his gaze to Celine and Toval.
"I thought you couldn't read my mind."
"I cannot, however your emotional state can be easily felt through our connection."
Rean grumbled. Great, all that he wanted, a giant robot having access to his emotions.
"Well, big guy, a lot of stuff happened after we left you here," said Toval.
"I would imagine it's related to my failure at continuing to operate yesterday. My apologies,"
Was that regret Rean was feeling from Valimar? "It's… fine," the Awakener said, feeling slightly ashamed of what he had said the previous day. Wait, what am I doing? "Come on, let's get going."
"What is the plan?" Valimar asked, interrupting Rean as he moved in closer.
What did it matter if the Divine Knight knew or not, the swordsman thought to himself.
Celine looked at Rean and sighed, then directed her gaze to Valimar. "Since your mana reserves are too low for the moment you can't access the spirit path…" As Celine had explained to Rean and Toval earlier, the spirit paths were connections that ran through all of Erebonia following septum veins deep underground and by channeling mana it was possible to travel through them almost instantaneously. It was also incredibly expensive to use energy-wise. "So we will be flying with a few stops on the way to conserve your energy as well as allow you to build up some reserve and fix the remaining damage you still have."
Valimar seemed to nod. "Currently I would require 3 days, 15 hours and 13 minutes to fully restore my mana reserves to be able to access the spirit path and still remain ready for combat. Your plan is sound."
"Well, good thing you approve."
[Hmm…]
"What?" Rean quirked an eyebrow.
"It is nothing," Valimar replied.
Toval and Celine looked at each other, finding the interaction between the two awkward. That instant thought transmission thing was going to be an issue if Rean and Valimar decided to keep half of the conversation to themselves.
"I see that your party is lacking a member from the previous encounter. Does it relate to the Awakener's turmoil?"
Oh for fuc- Focusing his mind on the previous day's events, Rean transmitted his thoughts to Valimar instantly, not wanting to waste time explaining everything that happened. Besides, again, why did it need to know in the first place?
"I see. Actions must be taken."
"Are you sure I can fit inside?" Toval asked Rean, tilting his head to look at Valimar and trying to measure himself inside the Knight.
"It's gonna be cramped and you're going to have to stand all the way but we can make it work. Though I do wish a girl would be the first person I gave a ride to instead."
The Bracer laughed and shook his head, that kid was something else. Well, this certainly wouldn't be boring.
It was three weeks since the start of the civil war and Class VII's escape from Trista, or conversely one week before Rean woke up at the Eisengard mountains. It was also 12 days since Laura arrived at her hometown of Legram along with Emma and it was the third day they spent inside Lohengrin Castle looking for clues regarding the Divine Knights.
Laura wanted answers and Emma had been more than forthcoming in giving them and the swordswoman later apologized for being too forceful in her inquiry. But she couldn't help it, so many events were taking place at the same time that she felt overwhelmed.
She respected and gave Rean space in regards to his issues but this was much bigger than that, it involved their whole class, by Aidios it involved the whole country. After everything they had been through, hadn't she demonstrated she was trustworthy enough? As if she would babble about such secrets to the first person she saw?
Those were some of the thoughts that had plagued Laura the first night after their escape from the forces of the ILF, when things had settled down and they seemed out of immediate danger. It didn't help that she had lost her weapon and was forced into a less active role in their encounters with monsters along the way. At least Jusis had accompanied them until they had reached the proximities of Bareahard, where they got separated.
She had training in unarmed combat, of course, and could use her combat orbment just fine but it didn't stop Laura from feeling useless. And also she really just wanted to hit things with her sword.
Now back at her hometown and with a new blade in hand, she had looked to explore the elusive castle that back in her childhood days was a mere playground but now held long lost secrets. Secrets which she was incapable of uncovering with Emma and even Klaus' help. The mysterious pale door at the basement was impregnable, with no sort of Art or magic being able to even dent it. If Fie was there maybe she would know how to properly use explosives to take that odious obstacle down.
The investigation of the castle proved itself unfruitful once again and Laura conceded that there was nothing they could do, and so she and Emma were taking the boat back to town. She had wondered if Crow's Divine Knight had come from there but Emma assured that could not be the case as that particular Knight was the Argent one, while Crow piloted the Azure Knight, and while she couldn't be 100% sure if its respective Knight laid dormant there or not all signs indicated it wasn't there.
"I'm sorry, Laura, but I don't think there is anything else I can do. Those doors were never meant to be opened to anyone but its Awakener and with its trial over and Divine Knight gone, it probably will never open again."
"But then where is it, Emma? How could such a thing exist under my family's nose without us never knowing about it? But then it wouldn't surprise me if father knew all along and simply chose to not inform me, it wouldn't be the first time," Laura sighed and shook her head. "Once again I must ask you to forgive my temperament, Emma. I know it's not your fault."
The viscount's work with the Courageous easily came to mind as the most recent example of her father's lack of transparency, although some minor instances were sprinkled over the past years. Nothing that ever did shake the bond between father and daughter, just small secrets from a sometimes overprotective parent, and were easily forgotten after a while, although recent events brought forth emotions of frustration.
But her father wasn't the reason for her grievances, neither were Emma or Rean, having such secrets kept from her stung but she was working through that. Slowly. Many events were unfolding and it was hard for Laura to keep a clear head, partially it was the war and the reasons and methods behind it, the way the Noble Faction sought to keep power at all costs disgusted her.
But what truly hung heavily in her mind was the fighting at Trista, the powerlessness she felt in the face of Crow's Divine Knight, how there was nothing she and her companions could do against him, a feeling even more raw than what she felt during the achtzehn tank demonstration at Garrelia Fortress. The world of her skillset had shrunk even more.
And then there was the sight of Rean's life about to be snuffed out. What she had felt and heard at that moment... It concerned her greatly and she still struggled to even conceive that as real. Oh Rean, where are you?
Soon after Laura had settled their boat on the wharf, a couple of distressed looking citizens came running at them.
"Lady Laura… Please… Quickly!" A young woman said between ragged breaths. Laura recognized her as Joan, a baker who lived next to the church. Alongside her were her younger brother and a couple of other people.
"There's a big monster on the outskirts!" The little boy, Thomas, shouted.
"It's… We've never seen anything like it, my lady."
Laura pushed her negative thoughts aside and looked at Emma, who nodded in agreement of their obvious course of action.
There is something I can still do.