I'm bleeding out slowly
But you keep me alive
I'm pleading for mercy
But you won't let me die
If you're not in love with me
Just tell me so
And stop reeling me in
And then letting me go
-Startisan "Let Me Go"
Standing by the pond, Nathan looked out over the rippling water. The sunshine bounced off the surface. It was a pretty sight, just like the surrounding countryside. Just like a certain school teacher.
Elizabeth wasn't the first woman he had developed feelings for. Just the first in quite awhile. There had been a couple when he was younger. The first, Rebecca, had simply been a school girl crush. It hadn't lasted long. His relationship with Caroline had been more serious but she had broken it off when she realized she couldn't change his mind about being a Mountie.
There had been a few others, but nothing serious. The simple fact was, it took a certain kind of woman to be the wife of a Mountie. Perhaps it wasn't even fair to ask any woman to take on that role. It was a hard life style. It took a toll on a person. He saw that when he looked at Ally, not that Ally had gotten a say in the matter.
Elizabeth knew all of that well. She had known the risks and still she had married Jack. She had found out first hand, like a lot of others had, the realities of those risks.
He knew that was some of the hesitation he felt and saw from Elizabeth. Hesitation that was to be expected. Perhaps it was even selfish of him to even express his feelings for her given her past. Was it fair to ask her to risk her heart breaking a second time because of the dangers of his job?
Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew the small jewelry box. Opening it, he watched the sunlight glint off the small stone as it did the water.
Fair or not, he couldn't deny he had feelings for her. He had fallen for her despite himself. He loved her strength and compassion. He loved how she looked out for each of her students. He loved how she was with Ally. It had been good for Ally to have Elizabeth in her life. It had been good for him to have Elizabeth in his life because she wasn't afraid to challenge him, while at the same time offering support.
He knew he had competition. Stiff competition. Perhaps Elizabeth would even be better off with Lucas. After all, Lucas could offer her things that he couldn't - stability, comfort, safety. However, that didn't change the way he felt about her. Didn't change the times that she had given him hope to think she had feelings for him as well.
The question was, did he have the courage to find out once and for all how Elizabeth felt about him?