Dear Gabe,
I feel a little silly writing a letter about a date, but given all the lamenting you have heard from me this pas year or so about Elizabeth, I figured you would like a cheerful letter for a change. Besides, I need to tell somebody and though I know you are likely to tease me about it, I also know you will be happy for me.
Elizabeth looked lovely when I picked her up. She had chosen to wear the green dress she had worn at the end of the school year celebrations. I know Elizabeth has some fancier dresses but that green one has a simple elegance that enhances her beauty.
I am sure you are already wearing a hug grin by this point in the letter and you know what, I find I do not care. I have wanted this night for so long, and if I sound like a silly schoolboy telling you about it, then so be it.
Elizabeth's hands were trembling as she took the bouquet of flowers that I had for her. I thought she was having second thoughts about the date. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to go on the dinner. As hesitant as she had been in the past, I did not want to force her into anything. I do not know how I would have handled my heart breaking again if she had said she did not want to go to dinner, but I knew I had to offer. It was such a relief that she said she did want to go to dinner.
Walking her to the café, Gabe, I felt like a king. She had her arm looped through mine. She made small talk about her plans for her students this fall. As my mouth felt like it was full of sawdust, I was grateful for her ability to carry the easy conversation.
At the café, Clara had set up a corner table for us as I had asked. She had covered it with a dark blue table cloth. A vase of red roses and baby breath sat in the middle. The wooden flower tops that I had carved for something to do were placed around the vase. As I pushed her chair in, Elizabeth's attention went right to the carved flowers. She had picked up the tulip which was closest to her, and held it in her cupped hands. She asked where I had gotten them, glancing across the table at me as I took a seat across from her. When I told her that I had carved them, she said they were beautiful. Elizabeth asked to keep the carved flowers which I happily said yes to. Her wanting to keep them was the best compliment I could have received.
I would like to tell you the food was good but to be honest, my friend, I didn't taste it. I was more focused on the beautiful woman sitting across the table from me. Yes, I did finally find my tongue. We spent the evening just getting to know one another a little better. You know that I don't open up about my family much, Gabe. In a lot of ways, it is just too painful. However, I found myself easily telling Elizabeth more about my family, both the good and the bad memories. I gave her more details about Colleen's passing and the type of person that Ally's father is. Granted, I looked at my plate while I was telling her those things. I was afraid of seeing fear or disgust in Elizabeth's eyes after she had told me about her wonderful, if judgmental at times (her words not mine), family. I finally looked up when she reached across the table and placed a hand on top of mine. All I saw in those beautiful eyes that looked back at me was sympathy and concern. It is a relief to know that the things I was afraid to tell Elizabeth about, sure they were things that would push her away from me, are no longer secret.
Maybe this relationship will work and maybe it won't. Either way, it has lifted a burden from my shoulder to be able to open up about my past with someone I have feelings for and that she did not get up and walk out, leaving me sitting there alone.
After dinner, I walked her home. Yes, Gabe, I did give her a goodnight kiss. I know if I do not mention that it will be the first thing you ask in your next letter. I have a feeling it was probably not Elizabeth's romantic kiss. I am honestly afraid to know what she even thought of it. Having never kissed a woman, other than female relatives on the cheek, I felt kind of awkward. My nose felt like it was in the way, even after I figured out how to tilt my head at the right angle to press my lips against hers. Elizabeth's hands might have been trembling at the beginning of the evening, but it was I who was trembling at the end of the night. I felt so out of sorts that I did not even ask when I could see her again. I will need to remedy that tomorrow morning, though we are suppose to have dinner with the children on Friday evening. Still, I do not want that to be the next time I see her.
Honestly, Gabe, part of me is afraid that all of this is too good to be true and reality will come crashing down around me tomorrow. Even if that happens, I plan on keeping the memory of tonight as a pleasant memory to help balance out the bad ones in my life.
Your Friend,
Nathan