Tormented

You Sure?

WARNING: SUICIDE HAPPENS IN THIS CHAPTER! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Edited: 06/05/2022

"You sure about this, Aleeza?"

Forcing her eyes away from the broken form of the Traveler, Aleeza turned and gave Lena a sheepish smile, "I'm sure."

"But." Her Ghost hesitated, "Why are you so nervous?"

"Because I am not sure if this is what you want as well." Aleeza saw Lena shift her ruby and white shell together, "I don't want to force you into this just because I am doing it."

"And how many times do I have to tell you? No matter what happens or decision you make, I will always be there." Her Ghost retorted, "Just, just make sure that it is something you want. If it is, well, I do not care."

Taking in Lena's words, Aleeza quietly turned her attention back onto the Traveler, leaning her arms against the rails of the Plaza. She was alone, had been since she and the others returned from that fateful mission on Venus, and she always waited until everyone in the area left. Traveler, Aleeza even waits for Banshee to leave, the old Exo always the last to close shop, usually past midnight. She wanted to make sure that no one else knows what she is planning. Except for Lena of course; her Ghost, her confidant since the day she was resurrected. Aleeza pondered on what to do next.

Months had passed since their broken Fireteam made it back from Venus; their mission successful but at what cost? Prime was taken away – much to Angel's protests – and the others were all taken to the Medical Wing for treatment. Spirit was the first to be discharged, thus allowing him to bring Nora's shell back to Fireteam Blaze, where they properly mourned for Alyx's passing.

Angel was next, but Aleeza wonders if that was a good idea. He seemed distant, eyes empty as he stumbled out of the Medical Wing. She can understand why though; Carina was his first friend that he had made in the Tower and now, she was gone. From what she had heard, he spends most of his time in the Crucible now, and apparently, he is a terror. He kills his opponents with nothing more than his knife and the kills aren't always pretty. There has been cries to ban him from the Crucible now.

Then, Aleeza herself was discharged after much metal assessments. Although annoyed, she understood; she hadn't had the best track record after deaths of her friends, comrades, her lovers. She is surprised though that they released her so easily; then again, Guardians are on short supply. They do not have the luxury to take time nowadays. That would explain the ache despite the staff's treatment.

Finally, Aleeza had spied Esther leaving the Medical Wing just a couple of weeks back. She seemed fine, spry on her feet. But she also noticed at how she greeted old friends, people she had known previously, only to see her give them a bewildered look. Just as Prime had promised, her memory had been wiped and now, she was just like any other newborn. Esther – 10 now she is called, to designate her new life. Aleeza wonders if Ianos will try to contact her.

Speaking of Ianos, she hadn't seen the Awoken since he was checked into the Medical Wing. Matt was there – obviously – and the look on his face did little to ease Aleeza's concerns. And when he was resurrected, Ianos was pale, barely standing and Matt was quick to take him away to an isolated area of the Medical Wing. No visitors allowed it seems, for whatever reason. For now, at least. Pity, she had hoped to see him one last time before she goes through with her plan.

"Do you want to see Akiva and Ora before we, well…?"

Aleeza pondered upon Lena's suggestion.

She absolutely adores her nephew; his smile was bright, eyes innocent, and she can tell that little Oraxsis loves her just as much as she loves him. But, despite her love, every time she sees him, she also sees the one thing that she cannot have.

A child.

Her chest aches at the thought and Aleeza found herself shaking her head.

"No, it might be better for him anyway."

Oraxsis is just a child; it wouldn't be good for her to see him and then hours later, she will be gone forever. It didn't feel right. Best to leave the way things are now.

Then, as her mind drifted over to her twin, Aleeza found herself conflicted. Just like little Oraxsis, she loves her twin, loves the way he puts others first before himself, and how he prioritizes his family over being a Guardian. But, just like her nephew every time she sees her twin, she sees the things she cannot have.

A family. A lover.

And the envy would twist in her gut.

All Aleeza had ever wanted, even in her previous life, even in her current life as a Guardian, is to have a child of her own, to raise a family together with her partner. But each time, whenever it would get close, they would slip away almost as quickly as she gains it. Carina wasn't her first partner after all, but she was the one that she loved and appreciated most, and she did everything she could to help Aleeza achieve her dream of having a child. She even volunteered to carry if it came to it. But she is gone now.

And her twin, the younger twin, the one who was born second, even in their new life, has what she always wanted. A lover that waits patiently for him whenever he leaves for missions. A son who always runs to greet him whenever he returns. A family that will always love him unconditionally. Even in their second life, Akiva had always had what Aleeza had sought. And now, he had two more little lights on the way. Neve was pregnant again. With twins.

"Aleeza?"

Snapping out of her thoughts, Aleeza turned to look at her Ghost, then followed her gaze down to her hands. She let go when she saw the railings crushed under her grip. Her envy had gotten the best of her.

Shame bloomed in Aleeza's chest, and she found herself curling her hands into fists. Tomorrow. Tomorrow night is when she will enact her plan.

Xxxxx

Akiva always finds himself drawn to Mars whenever he needed time to think; a ghost wanting to return home. But with family here at the Tower, Akiva found the Crucible the next best place to distract himself. Hard to ponder when you're busy trying not to get shot or blasted by Light.

Shooting a fellow Guardian in the chest with a shotgun, Akiva didn't bother to look at his HUD as he ran into one of the buildings, feeling dirt kick up behind him from auto-rifle fire. Heart beating hard within his chest, Akiva skidding around the corner as more bullets pelleted the wall behind him. Whoever was shooting at him, really wanted him now.

Calculating how much of a risk it would be to turn and fire his shotgun, Akiva spotted a glint from a window from the corner of his eye and decided upon a decision. Finding the closest doorway, he ran right out into the open. And heard a sniper being fired.

A ding on his HUD showed Angel gaining a point.

Releasing a breath, Akiva scanned his HUD further; Elimination is more intense than he thought but, he and Angel were able to take down two of the three of the opposing team. Now it's just to find the survivor.

"Should we resurrect our teammate?" Angel asked through the coms, and Akiva hummed at the thought.

They had grabbed a random Warlock to help get a team of three and, well, they were good but didn't compliment well with Akiva and Angel. Although, their habit to play solo made them a great distraction. But with one person left on their opposing team and this their last round needed for a win…

Akiva decided to push their luck. And hope that their Warlock teammate wouldn't hold a grudge.

"Let's find the survivor."

It was funny, how Akiva could see Angel nod even when he wasn't visible to the eye, and he made his way into one of the buildings, careful to look around each corner. Moments later, there was static in his coms.

"Akiva, one of the Ghosts near the building you had entered is gone. More than likely resurrected-"

There was the sound of distant gunfire and Akiva cursed when Angel's name popped onto his HUD. Alongside the name that had killed him with a shotgun. Guess that is what Akiva gets for getting arrogant.

Tracing the sound of the gunshot to the other side of the building, Akiva crouched before crawling his way forward, pressing his shoulder against the frame of an exit as he peered over. From there, he could see Hope, her red and white shell obvious against the dim and rotting greens of the plants crawling alongside the concrete.

"One more left."

The Guardian, the one that Akiva recognizes as one he had killed and a fellow Titan, seemed almost chipper at Angel's death; perhaps confidant now that they would get a win and perhaps, even the playing field. Not that Akiva was going to let it happen so easily.

As he was ready to sprint out and ready a shoulder charge, he heard a huff, a breath from the other Guardian – a Hunter, judging from the cloak.

"Isn't this 'The Scavenger'?"

Akiva froze at the nickname; one that Angel had recently earned not long after their return to the Tower. And one filled with malice.

"Hah! Is that why he thought he could take two of us on?" The Titan sneered, "He hung around those Fallen bastards for so long, his intelligence stooped to their level." Akiva heard them snort, "He didn't have the brain to realize his disadvantage, let alone keep an alliance between us and those 'scavengers'."

Gritting his jaw, Akiva found himself moving before he could even realize. When he sprinted out, he wasn't surprised the Hunter spotted him first. And jumped out of the way of his shoulder charge. Not that he was the target.

His true target was the Titan, the one who insulted Angel so openly, and Akiva would admit perhaps he had put behind a bit too much anger, too much light into his hit. Nonetheless, it was satisfying to see his fellow Titan get slammed, bursting into sparks of Arc light before he could even release a cry, perhaps even realize what had happened. Like before, he didn't stop to check his tally and instead, aimed his shotgun at the Hunter. As expected, the Guardian leaped back, playing cautious, and Akiva took this opportunity to stoop down and hold out Lex.

Angel's revival was quick and judging from the way the opposing Hunter lurched back, realized that running away is too late. To his credit, Akiva saw him hold his ground, bringing his weapon to fire. He wonders if they had forgotten that Angel is a Hunter too.

Or, perhaps there's a reason to that thought process, as Akiva saw Angel bodily slammed the opposing Hunter, bringing him to the ground. He then spotted the knife in Angel's hands.

Flinching as the Hunter beneath Angel screamed at the first stab, Akiva knew better than to get in the way; last time he did, he got a knife to the neck. And Angel, despite his apologies, was on edge for days. He needed this, despite the protests of others.

There was a struggle at first, the opposing Hunter grabbing Angel's wrist after the first few stabs. But the wounds that Angel had managed to get in were enough, enough to weaken him to the point where all Angel had to do was tear his hands away, and his knife was free. And he knew exactly where to hit to ensure the longevity of one's life. It was frightening really, at just how many times Angel was able to stab his fellow Hunter before the latter went still or given up, and even then, he continued his assault. He was covered in blood by the time Akiva heard him cursing, shouting in Eliksni. A sign for him to walk over, grab Angel by the back of his cloak, and pull him away.

There was cursing – in Eliksni – as he did this and Akiva let go in time to dodge a knife swipe to the neck.

"Angel!" He cried out and he saw the young Hunter pause, spying the way his grip on his knife went lax, "Angel, it's me."

Even with Angel's donning dark colors, colors that would have helped him camouflage out in the wilds, Akiva could still see the splotches of red down the front, and even on his visor. Nonetheless, he also saw the way Angel trembled, shoulders shaking as he lowered his arms, his knife finally falling from his grip.

"Angel." Akiva called out again, lowered his weapon and holding out a hand. He heard a whimper, one tight and filled with so much anguish, that he could help but approach Angel and pull him into an embrace. He felt the Hunter's arms wrap around him.

"I…I miss her… I-I miss…"

Despite his expertise with a sniper, despite his ability with a knife, the way Angel started crying was enough to remind Akiva just how young he is. And already, he had not only lost a friend, but a family as well. Akiva can only imagine how it must feel, to return to the Tower after losing someone, only to be hit with the news that a group, a faction that you had helped build, had upped, and left, leaving only a note of their leave. He was hit with two losses at once and given no time to take it all in. And given no idea how to cope.

Patting the younger Guardian on the shoulders, Akiva then heard Shaxx announce their win and decided that it was best to escort Angel back. He can't be left alone, at least, not like this.

Xxxxx

It was the first time Pluto had decided to visit Ianos in the Medical Wing since his return; he had been busy trying to keep the newest Generation of Clan Galaxy in order. In other words, mainly reassuring Orion.

Apparently, the young Titan had hoped that Olkar would return, that the problems between Guardian and Eliksni will be handled appropriately that his Eliksni friend would come back. The announcement of the House of Spirit's relocation was a complete surprise. He had grown distant since then, mostly keeping to himself in his room whenever training exercises were finished or after a off-planet trip. Pluto hadn't realized just how close the two were until then.

Giving Matt a passing nod, Pluto finally made it to the end of the hall, his red optics reading the name upon the plate next to the door. Taking a deep breath, he then pressed a hand onto the door and slowly, pushed it open.

There, in the middle of white room, reeking with drugs and light, laid Ianos, his form still in bed as he rested. The familiar tubes and wires connected to his body reminded Pluto of Neptune, the Exo Warlock's broken form clear in his mind before it flashed back to the Awoken.

"Pluto?"

Shifting his attention over Ianos' bedside, Pluto then nodded when he spotted the familiar black and orange shell of Ace, seeing the Ghost glide around the bed.

"It's been a while." Pluto said, just as when he felt the weight in the back of his mind lift, Nix's viridian form appearing over his own shoulders not long after. He saw his Ghost bob in greeting, a gesture that Ace returned with one of their own.

Taking the opportunity to approach Ianos' bedside, Pluto found himself unable to say anything as his optics scanned the Awoken's shape; just as he had last seen him when they returned to the Tower, he is pale, and gaunt. The Darkness had taken a toll despite the short amount of time.

"Has Matt fixed the system yet?" Pluto asked.

The sigh from Ace was answer enough.

"He said the damage was too extensive, it is going to take a while to repair it."

Or, more than likely, to make a new one. Pluto knows. This was not the first system to break under Matt's watch. The only good news from that was that it means improvements will be made, all for Ianos' benefit. Hopefully. He took in a deep breath, displeasure clear in his optics now.

"I know that look." Ace tutted, "Ianos volunteered for this. You know as well as I do that Matt had been looking into how to treat the corruption of Darkness since he lost Cecilia. And it's a recently new study."

"I know." Pluto muttered and he does. Ianos had spoken to him about it extensively before he started being treated. He may not be happy about it, but he knows the studies will help Guardians with corruption in the future. Instead of lingering over the subject, he decided to change it.

"Does he know about Carina?"

"I…" Pluto heard Ace hesitate, "Ianos was in unstable condition when he killed himself for me to keep the Darkness at bay. He may or may not have been lucid during our time down there."

So, until he wakes, they don't know. Pluto couldn't help a sigh before he looked over Ianos.

Even after all these years, it was strange to see Ianos resting. He had always seen him awake, working on a project or a weapon at his desk, his hands always busy. Although Pluto was sure this was all to keep dreams at bay. But now, seeing him rest, even sickly as he is, he couldn't help but think that he had never seen such a peaceful expression on Ianos' face in all his years.

"Since you're here, would you like a seat?"

Snapping out of his reverie, Pluto blinked as he turned his attention to Ace, seeing the Ghost bob towards the wall; looking over, he could see chairs lined against it.

"I have a feeling your visit is more than just asking questions, right?"

Furrowing his brows together, Pluto glanced over at the Nix, the latter of which shifted his shell up and down, "We have nothing else planned for today and the Clan will be fine without us for a few hours."

Nodding at his Ghost's words, Pluto then walked over, grabbed a chair, returned to his spot near Ianos' side, and took a seat. Slowly tuning out the sounds of the machines working around him, Pluto instead tuned in onto Ianos' steady breathing, sighed and closed his optics.

Xxxxx

Time passes by quickly and Aleeza found herself back out in the Plaza, the area once again empty. Slowly approaching the rails, Aleeza leaned over, eyeing the fog and mist that now blankets below her. Visibility was low. Perhaps that would be a good thing. No one would realize what is happening, at least, not until it was too late.

Taking in a shuddering breath, Aleeza pulled herself over, sliding until her feet touched the concrete ledge on the other side. Then, with one hand, she grasped the rails, keeping herself steady as she looked down once more. She could feel the wind blowing between the strands of her hair.

"You sure you want to do this?" Aleeza turned her eyes towards Lena, her ruby and white shell almost glowing in the night, "Last chance."

Staring at her Ghost, Aleeza simply nodded. In turn, she heard Lena's shell shift, hearing them click together.

"There are other ways to take your own life. You sure you want it to be this way?"

Taking in her Ghost's words, Aleeza then turned her attention back to the fog, her mind wandering.

At first, she had wanted to take her own life the same way Carina had, a grenade or a bomb detonating in her hands somewhere on Venus. But then she remembered Carina telling her of her first death. Desperate she was to escape the clutches of humans in her first life, that she had jumped from a cliff and into the wilderness below. In the Exo's eyes, this did not give the humans chasing her the satisfaction of taking her life. And Aleeza sought no other way than to follow her lover's example.

"It has to be this." Aleeza answered.

In turn, Lena hummed then bobbed once; a sign of her agreement; "Then if you are certain, then I am ready."

Returning her Ghost's nod with one of her own, Aleeza's focus then went to her waist, taking her hand cannon from its holster, and weighed it in her hands. In her previous plan, she had thought to use a fusion rifle, recalling at how the energy of the gun at close range would let Lena's death be painless and quick. But then the Ghost brought up a point; if she used the fusion rifle, there would be no evidence of Lena behind. Aleeza maybe envious of her twin, but she isn't cruel enough to leave behind nothing. As such, the hand cannon was chosen. Powerful to instantly kill Lena but it would also be enough to leave something.

Shifting her attention back onto her Ghost, Aleeza then saw her close her optic; a sign that she is ready. As such, Aleeza lifted her weapon, aimed it right at Lena's core, and fired. She had expected her Ghost to fly back, follow the momentum of the bullet but instead, she was surprised to see the ruby and white shell explode, shards of metal falling to the ground in heaps of sparks and wires. Shaking off the shock, Aleeza stared at the remnants of her Ghost only for an instant before tossing her weapon onto the Plaza floor; she wants to leave more than just Lena's broken form as evidence of her jump. As such, turning towards the city, Aleeza took in a breath, took in one last sight of the Traveler before she closed her eyes, released her hold on the railing, and jumped.