Could Flare be heating up?
Ch. 4 We'd Feel Much Better If We Sunk This Treasure
(FITZ)
"Hi Fitz," Clare greets me at my locker Tuesday morning.
"Morning Kitten," I grin, and she rolls her eyes at the pet name.
"Will you stop with those?" Clare groans.
"I told you, not until I run out, and I will never run out," I smirk closing my locker.
"I just wanted to apologize for my mom ambushing you into coming to dinner tonight."
"Don't worry about it, I'm looking forward to it actually. The only family dinners I've had in the last couple of years have been at Owen's house," I comment just as I see Owen at the end of the hall. He's not coming over probably because of Clare. "I'll see you in class," I tell her. She looks over and sees Owen as well, she looks away quickly.
"See you in class," she says before walking off.
"Talking about class?" Owen inquires. His not-so-subtle way of asking if we were talking about him.
"Sort of, Helen invited me to dinner tonight. We'll do homework at Clare's today and I'll stay for dinner," I inform him as we begin walking to homeroom.
"Helen invited you to dinner?" Owen asks cocking an eyebrow.
"We've been spending a lot of time together being partnered for the semester. We usually go to my house, I think Helen just wanted us to be at their house for a night," I reply.
"Yeah, I can see that, sounds like Helen. I miss her Fitz," Owen sighs.
"Helen?" I inquire even though I know the answer before he says it.
"No Clare, I miss her, and I still love her. I want her back Fitz. She'll barely look at me let alone talk to me," Owen says.
"She's hurting right now, give her some time," I comfort my friend. I feel my stomach drop though, and my heart seize a little bit. Owen and Clare were great together, so why does the thought of them rekindling make my blood turn cold and form a lump in my throat?
"So, you're coming to dinner tonight I hear," Jake comments when we walk into homeroom. Drew and Eli both cock inquiring eyebrows at this statement.
"Yeah, Helen invited me when I brought Clare home last night. I think it's just because we're usually at my house."
"Just prepare yourself, Helen can be a bit overbearing. She's gotten a lot better, but she's still a force," Eli says.
"It'll be fine, Dad and I will be there, and it's not like you're picking Clare up for a date," Jake remarks.
I'm tempted to ask if he and Glen would be protective if I were picking Clare up for a date. With Owen sitting right next to me I keep my mouth shut. When the bell rings Owen and I walk to parenting/life econ class together. Anya is already in class, Owen might have said he missed Clare, but he still gives Anya a big smile as he sits next to her. I sit at our table, Clare and Adam walk in arm in arm a moment later.
"Cheating on me with Adam, Sugar?" I tease her.
"Naturally, you know Adam's the only man for me," she quips back sardonically. From the corner of my eye I see Adam snicker as he sits next to Jenna.
Everyone is doing research on maternity leave, adjusting budgets, or writing papers. Clare and I have done that, so we spend most of class making a list of gyms to visit this afternoon. When we're done with that, we do our homework for our homeroom classes. When the bell rings Jenna and Adam take Clare, I eat with Owen, Drew, and the majority of the football team. Bianca, Anya, and several cheerleaders also eat with us.
I don't see Clare again until school is out, she's waiting at the front for me. We go out to my car, and I open the door helping her in. We visit a total of six gyms, and we find two female fitness instructors that were pregnant during their time as instructors. Both did different things, but it gives us some good ideas and we can talk Miss Sauvé about them tomorrow. After the gyms I take us to her house, Jake's truck is here but when we come in, he doesn't come down or anything.
"My room isn't nearly as big as yours and I only have one laptop," Clare remarks as we hang our coats in the entry.
"That's okay, I don't have homework for art and environmental science is mostly reading anyway," I shrug.
"We can work at the kitchen table, Mom will be home in about half an hour," she tells me.
I follow her to the kitchen table, and she gets out some chips for us to snack on and a couple of sodas. We work in relative silence for a few minutes before Jake comes downstairs. He says hi, sits down with his book and starts eating the chips. I can't decide if he came down to spy on us or decided he should be social. Helen comes home and greets us all before starting dinner. Whatever she's making smells really good and I'm starting to get really hungry. Glen comes home just before dinner is ready, he says hi and then goes upstairs to shower before dinner.
"You must be Fitz, good to meet my son-in-law," Glen smiles when he comes downstairs.
"You know it's a school project, we aren't really married," Clare groans while I shake Glen's hand.
"It's good to meet you Mr. Martin, thanks for having me for dinner," I smile.
"So polite, how nice to see that in a young man," Helen grins.
"It's our pleasure Fitz, and please call me Glen," he replies.
"Dinner will be ready in a moment. Clare, Jake could you set the table?" Helen asks.
"I can help, just show me where things are," I say.
"Napkins are on the table you can start there," Clare says.
I start setting out napkins and Jake brings in a folding chair so there's places for all of us. Clare and Jake get plates on the table and when Jake brings over the silverware, I set that on the napkins. Clare's family is very nice, I don't find Helen that overbearing, she does ask a lot of questions I just avoid the family ones. Mostly Clare and I talk about our work for class. Helen and Glen are very impressed with my ideas for the project. Dinner is quite good, and I help clean up after, which Helen seems very surprised by.
"Thanks for having me over, dinner was great. I should probably get home now," I remark when everything is put away.
"I'm going to walk Fitz to his car," Clare says.
"It was a pleasure to have you Fitz, you're welcome any time," Helen says.
I say goodbye and Clare walks with me to the front. She slips her snow boots on but doesn't lace them, and just puts on a sweater to walk me out. I open the front door and make sure she gets down the cement stairs okay. It hasn't snowed again, but it's cold and the steps can be slippery.
"Still glad my mom ambushed you at the door yesterday?" Clare asks as we start walking over the lawn to my car.
"Definitely, dinner was great, and your parents are nice. I already knew Jake was cool, your mom may regret the open invitation," I smirk.
Clare giggles, and then she either misses a step or slips as she starts to topple. Instinctually, I reach out and grab her, catching her before she hits the ground. The sudden movement from me causes my backpack to shift and we end up almost falling again. I move quickly restabilizing, but our ending position is me leaning back a little with Clare wrapped tightly in both my arms. I'm leaning back slightly, and she's pressed to my chest, her hands gripping my jacket.
She looks up at me and our eyes lock. Instantly the urge to kiss her sweeps over me. In my mind I lean down and capture her lips in an amorously ardent kiss. As if she could see my thoughts a tiny mewling breath escapes her and her lips part slightly. It's enough of a distraction that I'm able to mentally slap myself back to reality.
"You, okay?" I ask Clare as I slowly let go of her.
"Yeah, thanks, nice reflexes," she says stepping back just enough to put some air between us.
"I can make it back to my car, you should get back inside," I tell her.
"Yeah," she nods clearing her throat, "see you tomorrow, Fitz."
"Good night Babycakes," I grin, and she rolls her eyes.
I wait until she's safely inside before walking to my car. The whole drive home I scold myself for wanting to kiss her, for even thinking about it. No matter what I feel Owen is my best friend and he wants her back. There's actually a light on when I get home and I find Dad is home. In fact, he's in the kitchen eating take-out when I come in.
"Hi Dad," I greet as I take off my snowboots and coat.
"Hi son, did you eat?"
"Yeah, Clare's mom invited me to dinner tonight, since Clare and I have been spending so much time together for class."
"That was nice of her. You'll be on your own this weekend, your mother is going to Judy's and I'm going to my brother's. I'm sure you can spend the weekend at Owen's. I'll leave Friday morning and she's going Thursday. I'll return Sunday night, but your mom won't be back until Monday evening," Dad tells me. Something about the inflection of his voice tells me that he doesn't really believe Mom is going to her best friend's this weekend.
"I can stay on my own this weekend," I shrug.
"You can have a party as long as it doesn't get out of hand and it's cleaned up by the time we return," Dad says.
"Cool," I smile. A party is always a nice distraction, though I don't think I'll get Clare to come if Owen is here.
I go up to my room and toss in my backpack. I go into my washroom and start the shower; in the shower Clare comes to my mind again. I shake it away and get out quickly. I'm up late on my computer and groan when my alarm goes off the next morning. I skip breakfast and go straight to school; I park in my usual spot next to Owen and find him at his locker.
"Hey, how was dinner?" Owen questions.
"Dinner was good. My parents are gone this weekend, I'm having a party Saturday night," I tell him. He's my best friend, I have to invite him, I just hope that Clare comes too.
"Aww man I'm going to miss it, we're going to my grandparent's all weekend," Owen replies.
"That sucks," I reply while secretly hoping that means Clare will definitely come.
Owen waits for me as I visit my locker, then we walk to homeroom. In homeroom I invite Drew, Jake and Eli to the party, and they all say they'll come. Owen and I walk to second period together. Clare and Adam are already in class.
"My parents are both gone this weekend and I'm having a party Saturday," I tell Clare as I sit down. She looks back at Owen, Anya just came in and they're smiling at each other. "Owen won't even be there; his family is going to his grandparent's this weekend."
"Oh, then I guess I'll come," she replies.
"Good, I invited Jake too, you can come together," I tell her, and she smiles.
Miss Sauvé comes in and begins class. Clare and I got some good ideas from the women we talked to yesterday. We decided that since Clare is a writer, she could do a fitness blog for pregnant women. She'd offer subscriptions and advertising, along with personalized workout routines for pregnant women and new moms. A paid service but it would be personalized so they felt they were getting their money's worth. We write it up and give it to Miss Sauvé and she's pleased and approves it. We spend the rest of class adjusting our budget for this.
"Hey Fitz, you eating with us?" Owen calls when class is out.
"Yeah," I nod.
"We're pretty far ahead, I don't think we need to work together after school," Clare says as she gathers her things.
"No, there's nothing to do for this class," I agree while feeling my heart drop a little.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow then," Clare comments waving as she leaves with Adam and Jenna. I can't help feeling something is missing as she walks out of the room.
(CLARE)
"Hey Clare," Jake calls catching me after school Thursday afternoon. "Dad called; he needs me to help out on the job site. If you aren't going to Fitz's, you'll have to take the bus."
"Okay, no problem, see you at home," I reply.
I hadn't planned to go with Fitz since we had nothing to work on yet again. We hadn't been given any further surprises from Miss Sauvé and we had again exceeded the requirements for the week. So, for the second day in a row we decided we didn't need to meet after school. However, I didn't really want to take the bus, so I go looking for Fitz hoping he'll be willing to take me home. I go out to the parking lot hoping to catch Fitz, but I don't see him, and his car is gone. I'm considering texting or calling him and asking him to come back and get me when a voice startles me.
"Want a lift home?" Owen asks.
"Don't you have hockey practice?"
"Had it this morning. C'mon I'll give you a lift home, I saw Jake leave," Owen comments.
"Okay," I nod with some reservation. I walk to the passenger side of Owen's car and get in. It smells like him and feels so familiar. I can't count the number of times I was in this seat and this car.
"Clare listen," Owen says as he begins driving, "I know I hurt you, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, please believe that I still love you, Clare."
"If that's true then why did you kiss Anya? Especially knowing how hurt I was when my father announced his affair. I cried on your chest for weeks afterward, you saw how hurt I was by it, but you still did it, you had to know it would hurt me. Why didn't you switch names with Fitz when he pulled my name?"
"I admit I was happy to pull Anya's name, I wanted to work with her. I never thought about kissing her though or getting back together with her. Not that first day," Owen says. He won't look at me though, he looks out the window.
"I wish I could believe that Owen, but you were so eager to work with her, to spend time with her. You made a conscious decision to kiss her, not just one kiss but you were in a full heated make out session with her when I saw you. If Fitz and I hadn't found, you just how far would you have gone with Anya? How could you do that to me knowing what my dad did? If you love me the way you say you do, then you would have thought about me before going alone in a room with Anya."
Owen rubs the back of his neck and is silent for a moment. He can't seem to answer this, although I knew he couldn't. Owen pulls into my driveway, and I start to get out of the car, but he grabs my hand.
"I don't have a good explanation for all my actions, truth is much of the time I wasn't thinking. I was just going on instinct. I do love you Clare, I miss you and I really want you in my life again. I want to be back together with you, but even if you don't feel the same way could we at least be friends? Not having you in my life at all really sucks. I know you won't forgive me right away, or maybe ever, but I can't stand thinking that you hate me," Owen pleads with me. I release a small breath, biting my lip and considering what he just said.
"I don't hate you, Owen. I'm angry at what you did, how you hurt me, angry at Anya too. After what my father did and walking out on us you have no idea how much it hurt, how betrayed I felt seeing you two together."
"I'm so sorry Clare, I'd give anything to take that moment back, to stop myself from going in the room with her. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you, to prove I still love you, to be friends," Owen says. His tone is begging, his hand squeezing mine almost desperately.
I look out the window remembering my time with Owen. I remember how he helped me over my parents divorce and my father leaving. How he let me cry on his shoulder, vent my frustrations, even taught me to hit his punching bag, and he never complained or turned me away. I cared for him so deeply, I was ready to give my virginity to him. Mostly I was incredibly grateful to have Owen in my life. With a deep breath I turn to look at Owen again.
"I'm not ready to forgive you, I may never be. We need to take it slow; I'm not just going to take you back; it's going to take me time to work out how I feel now. I think we could be friends again, but I am not sure that I'll ever consider getting back together with you," I tell him. Despite telling him we'll probably never get back together Owen smiles.
"I'll do anything to make it up to you Clare and prove to you that I still love you. We'll take it slow, just to be friends again you have no idea how happy it makes me. Will you come to our game tomorrow night? I'll get you a ticket, as my friend of course."
"Will Anya be there?" I question.
"No, cheerleading practice," Owen replies.
"Is Fitz going?"
"I don't think so, he hasn't said anything or asked for a ticket. I believe Drew and Bianca are going though."
"Okay," I reply slowly.
"Great, I'll put you ticket in your locker tomorrow," Owen grins.
"Thanks for the ride home, Owen, I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him getting out of the car.
I go inside, the house is quiet and empty. I go up to my room, put on music and begin my homework. Mom comes home a couple of hours later, she says Jake and Glen will be working late and takes me to dinner. She talks a lot about Fitz over dinner, it seems he made quite the impression on her at dinner. Jake and Glen don't get home until almost eight and Jake is up late doing homework. I shower and go to bed early, but it's not restful, I have a terrible dream involving me and Owen and Fitz. I don't remember it all, but I wake up panting, shaking.
I'm not hungry and when we get to school, I go to my locker and open it I see the ticket to the hockey game. I had almost forgotten that I had told Owen I'd go tonight. Part of me wants to back out, but I decide not to. I go looking for Drew instead, to see if he and Bianca are actually going, and hoping that we're sitting near each other. I find Drew at his locker, and Fitz is with him. Drew sees me coming and upnods to me, this gets Fitz's attention, and he looks over.
"Hey Clare," Drew says.
"Morning Cupcake," Fitz grins.
"I'm beginning to think you have a preoccupation with food," I reply rolling my eyes at Fitz for the name.
"I have called you plenty of names that have nothing to do with food," Fitz quips back.
"Owen said you and Bianca were going to the hockey game tonight, where are you sitting?" I ask Drew ignoring Fitz.
"Let's see," Drew says taking out his wallet and the tickets. I get out mine and we compare seats; I'm thankfully sitting right next to them. "We can pick you up if you'd like?" Drew offers.
"That's okay, I'm sure I can borrow Jake's truck or my mom's car. I'll see you in class Fitz," I remark before walking off.
I visit my locker and walk to homeroom. When Adam comes in, I tell him I'm going to the game tonight and sitting with Drew and Bianca. Mr. Perino lectures for all of class, but it's boring and I find my mind wandering. When the bell rings Adam and I walk to class together, Fitz is already sitting at our table.
"So, going to the game tonight. Does that mean you and Owen are getting back together?" Fitz asks when I sit down.
"He gave me a ride home yesterday and apologized profusely, said he still loved me, and he missed me. Told me he'd do anything to make it up to me. That he'd be happy to just be friends again, even if I'm not ready to forgive him yet. I told him we'd have to take it slow, and I'm not ready to forgive yet, but we could at least be friends again. He asked me to come to the game tonight and said he'd give me a ticket, I only said I'd go after he assured me Anya wasn't going."
"Oh, that's good," Fitz says. He says it very slowly though as if he isn't sure he means it.
I eat lunch with my friends but hear some people talking about Fitz's party tomorrow night. I find Jake at lunch and ask if I can take the truck tonight. He says if I can drop him at the job sight after school he can ride home with his dad. I tell him that's fine and I'll meet him at the truck after school.
(FITZ)
"Are you looking forward to track season?" Marisol asks leaning over and putting her hand on my leg. "I am, I love to see you in those little shorts," she giggles.
My party has been going almost an hour, there's a lot of people here. Many that I didn't invite, but that's how parties go. I invited Johnny and Lucas, both came and Johnny invited a couple of his college friends. Jake came but Clare wasn't with him, I found out she's with Eli and Adam, I've been watching for them to come in.
I had been sitting on the sofa sipping a drink when Marisol sat down next to me. I've had a couple of drinks; pretty sure Marisol is on her fourth. We've been talking for fifteen minutes or so, she's sort of flirting too, she's kind of a sloppy flirt when she's drunk.
"Yeah, I am actually, it feels good to run the track," I reply as the door opens. Eli walks in, Clare and Adam just behind him. Clare looks over and smiles at me, until she sees Marisol's hand on my leg, and she looks away. "Running, it feels free, more free than football," I comment looking back at Marisol.
"Let's get something to drink," Eli says.
"I feel that way when I'm cheerleading," Marisol comments draping on me a little more and finishing her drink.
"Let me get you another," I comment taking her cup.
I get up following Eli, Clare and Adam into the kitchen. They pour drinks and stay to talk to Lucas. I take our drinks and go back to Marisol. I hand her drink to her and sit down again. Marisol continues to drape over me and flirt, but I don't dissuade it. After a while Clare comes out of the kitchen without Eli or Adam. She begins talking to Katie and I continue to half-listen to Marisol. I stay on the sofa with Marisol for the next couple of hours, only getting up to get us more drinks.
I lose track of Clare until she sits in the loveseat and one of Johnny's college buddies sits next to her. I don't realize that I tense up until Marisol puts her hand on my shoulder. For the moment they are only talking, but he's drinking. I don't think Clare is drinking but it's hard to tell. I keep watching them until Marisol grabs my cheeks and kisses me hard. Suddenly, I'm making out with Marisol and I'm not pulling away. I should be and really don't know why I'm not. We continue kissing until someone whooping in the other room distracts me and I break the kiss. I look at the loveseat, Clare is gone and so is the guy.
"I should get us some water," I remark.
"I think we should go upstairs," Marisol says batting her lashes.
"No, I have to make sure things don't get out of hand. I can't do that if I'm upstairs, anyway we need water," I comment.
I stand up from the sofa and walk toward the kitchen, looking for Clare along the way. I wander the whole downstairs looking for her, I see everyone else but Clare and the guy. I even check the backyard and garage. I almost ask Adam where she is but decide not to. Instead, I go upstairs, really hoping Clare didn't come up here with that guy.
Someone is in the washroom up here; I hear the sink going so it's at least being used for its purpose. My parent's bedroom door is also closed, and the couple in there is having quite loud sex. I know that's not Clare in there. I know she wouldn't be losing her virginity at my party. My bedroom door is also closed, it's quiet in my room. I open the door and it's dark all the lights are off and curtains closed. There's a figure on my bed and I can see that it's Clare.
"Why are you hiding in my room at my party?" I question going in and closing the door behind me. Before the room becomes dark again, I see her wiping away tears from her cheeks.
"Sorry, I'm just so comfortable in your room now. You seemed to be having a fun time with Marisol, and when that guy tried to shove his tongue down my throat I had to get away for a few minutes," Clare replies. When she tells me he tried to kiss her I tense up. My fists clenching on their own. "I'm okay, really, I just need a minute, go back to your party, to Marisol," she says and spits out Marisol's name. I'm too worried about her to think about the connotations of the venom in her tone around Marisol's name just now.
"I'm not leaving you alone in the dark, especially when you're upset."
"I told you I'm fine, I just need a minute. I'm sure Marisol is looking for you."
"I have no interest in Marisol."
"Could have fooled me, looked like you were enjoying the make out session to me," Clare says and stands up quickly. I grab her hand pulling her back to the bed.
"Marisol kissed me, she started flirting with me. I've never had any interest in Marisol, but I thought being with her would help me forget, or at least distract me."
"Distract you from what?"
"That I want you," I confess, and Clare's eyes go wide.
"You do?"
"More than anyone, more than anything," I tell her.
She doesn't respond, I'm partially expecting her to hit me or to laugh. She doesn't, she grabs my shirt and crushes our lips together. My surprised breath catches in my throat, the tiniest second passes where I'm too shocked that she's actually kissing me. Too surprised this moment is truly happening, for me to respond.
When her tongue licks across my lower lip I come back to my senses and my lips part for her. I cup her cheek and slide my hand around to the back of her neck. My other hand finds hers and holds it, interlacing our fingers. My tongue slips out, sliding between her lips, feeling her tongue caress mine. I want to keep kissing her, to pull her back onto my bed and hold her in my arms. The sound of breaking glass downstairs ruins this perfect moment.
"I'd better go find out what that was," I tell Clare and she nods.
Very reluctantly I leave the room, going downstairs to find that someone broke a lamp. I start cleaning the glass, Eli and Adam help me. While we're cleaning the glass Clare comes downstairs and blends into the crowd. I want to talk to her, to kiss her again. I want to be alone with her, but my house is full of people. She's talking to Johnny right now and he won't try and kiss her. She'll probably leave with Eli and Adam, hopefully I can get Clare alone again before school on Monday.
I'll try to update again soon. "Try Again & Eventually We'll" get it right will likely go up next.