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Ch. 5 A Kiss I Won't Forget

(CLARE)

When I came downstairs Fitz was cleaning up a broken vase with help from Adam and Eli. I didn't want to find my friends, so I found Johnny and Lucas. I struck up a conversation with Johnny and Lucas stuck around. I've been with them for the last two hours. Fitz has not gone anywhere near Marisol, but we've also been staying away from each other. I happen to be in the hall alone when I hear him say he's going to the garage for more ice. I catch the door to the garage and follow Fitz in.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask. He didn't see me follow him in and it startles him. He turns to look at me and blinks.

"Tell you what?"

"That you like me."

"You were dating my best friend, he's still in love with you and wants you back. He's been my best friend since first grade, I can't just start dating his girl."

"I'm not his girl anymore, and I don't want him back. I don't know how I feel about Owen anymore, but you can't confess that you want to be with me. You can't kiss me like that and expect me to just forget it, especially when we'll be working so close together this semester."

"Forget the kiss, forget what I said Clare, give Owen that second chance. Let me forget about you by dating and making out with other girls, we can still work together in parenting."

"I can't do that Fitz, I don't think I want to give Owen a second chance, when he cheated on me I wasn't sure I ever loved him. I can't watch you with other girls either, I want you Fitz, I want to be with you too. So, you can't just tell me to forget because I won't!"

His eyes widen, eyebrows raising and mouth dropping in utter shock. I kind of wonder what he thinks I think of him to be this shocked that I want him too. I don't have time to think about it because he takes my hand and pulls me to him. His hand holding mine interlaces with my fingers, his other hand combs to the back of my hair gripping forcefully but not painfully. Our lips collide, his tongue delves into my mouth! The kiss heating so quickly I feel a rush of heat sweep my body. I grip his shirt, standing on my tiptoes to deepen the kiss.

"HEY FITZ," K.C. hollers breaking our intensely ardent kiss.

We step apart and he hands me a bag of ice. He grabs another and we leave the garage almost running into K.C. in the hall. K.C. takes the bag of ice from me and they walk to the living room. I suddenly don't feel much in the party mood, Adam and Eli are still having a good time and I can't find Jake. Connor and Wes are leaving, Mr. Simpson is picking them up and Connor says they can take me home. I grab my coat and text Jake, Eli, and Adam that I wasn't feeling well and got a ride home. Then I text Fitz, tell him I went home but I'll come over in the morning to help him clean and we can talk then.

Mr. Simpson drops me off, I thank him for the ride and go inside. It's not curfew yet and Mom thought I was coming home with Jake, so they went to bed. I take a shower and spend all night thinking about Fitz, so much that I hardly sleep. I'm up fairly early, though Mom and Jake are already gone. I don't want to wake Jake, so I grab a granola bar and bottle of juice and walk to Fitz's place. I worry that he may not be up yet, I'm not sure how late the party went, but when I knock on the door he opens it.

"Wow, we made a mess last night! Think we'll get this clean by the time your parents get home?" I question looking around the house.

"Only my dad is coming home tonight. He was the one that suggested the party, I don't think he'll mind if it's still a little messy," he says handing me a trash bag "most of the mess is on this level. My washroom needs a touch up and my parent's bed will need to be made. I have the comforter in the dryer and the sheets in the wash. So, about us…"

"Yeah, about us, as much as I'd like to just start dating you we can't. It's not fair to Owen, and I don't want to ruin your friendship," I tell him. I spent all night thinking about this. I still want Fitz, and I'm not giving him up, but I'm not destroying a friendship they've had for over a decade either.

"Yeah, neither do I, but I thought about us all night long. I really care about you Clare, I want to be with you so bad and I can't walk away, despite what I said last night. We spend too much time together to try to ignore our feelings."

"I agree, and I don't want to ignore my feelings for you either. I meant it last night when I said I didn't want to watch you with other girls. So, we take it slow, talk to Owen soon, but not right away, he and I are just broaching being friends. We'll have to tell him though, talk to him and hope he understands, before we go public. He cares about us both right? He'll want us to be happy," I comment. Although, I think I'm trying to rationalize this decision more than anything.

"I hope it's that simple Clare, I really do. Somehow I doubt it will be, I know Owen really does want to get back together with you. You said before we go public though, does that mean you want to date in secret until then?" Fitz questions.

Before I can give him an answer he grabs me and couples our lips. My lips part instantly, I grip his shirt as his arms encircle me. His tongue softly caresses my lips before going in my mouth and caressing my tongue. I'm about to drop the trash bag in my hand when the doorbell rings. Instantly we jump apart, Fitz wipes his mouth and goes to the door while I go to the hall out of sight of the door.

"Hey Owen," Fitz says loudly after answering the door.

I quickly wipe my lips and check myself in the reflection of a picture on the wall. I look up just as Owen walks in and he's surprised to see me there. His eyebrows raise, his mouth quirking just a little.

"Hi Owen, I came over to help Fitz clean up. I knew he'd have his hands full after the party last night," I explain quickly.

"Great minds think alike, that's why I'm here too. I couldn't make it to the party, but wanted to come help my best buddy clean," Owen says. He claps his hand on Fitz's shoulder. Owen is looking at me, so he doesn't see the look of guilt that crosses Fitz's face. "With three of us we should have this place clean in no time," Owen grins.

"Yeah, no time," Fitz nods.

We start cleaning and Owen asks about the party. We tell him it was fun, tell him about the broken lamp and a couple other details. We don't tell him about Fitz and Marisol, the college guy that tried to kiss me, me hiding in Fitz's room and of course we say nothing about Fitz and I kissing. Working together the house is all put together in three hours. Fitz and Owen even run out to buy a new lamp while I finish in the kitchen. When they return they have pizza with them, and we sit in the kitchen to eat lunch.

"This is great, the three of us hanging out together, just like old times," Owen smiles as we begin eating.

"Yeah," I nod, eating my slice of pizza slowly.

"Just like old times," Fitz nods with a grin on his lips. A grin I can see was painted on.

I only eat one slice, Fitz eats two, Owen eats four as he talks about the trip to his grandparents. They were supposed to stay longer, but his dad started fighting with his grandfather and they came home early. The whole time Owen is talking I look across the table at Fitz, but he won't meet my gaze.

"Well, I should probably get home. You need a lift home Clare?" Owen asks when we're done eating. I don't want to leave, but I have no reason to stay. Fitz and I didn't get a chance to talk, but I can't tell Owen that.

"Yeah, thanks," I nod.

"See you guys tomorrow," Fitz says as Owen and I leave the house.

I follow Owen to his car and get in. Owen starts the car and during the short drive to my house keeps glancing at me. He doesn't say anything until we're parked outside of my house though.

"I really missed you Clare, you were all I thought about the whole time we were at my grandparents. I know you're not sure about us still, but I'm still in love with you."

I look at Owen, a lump in my throat I have to swallow down before I can talk. "I…I don't how I feel Owen. I told you I need time, let's just start with being friends."

"I know, and I'm okay with being friends," Owen grins. He leans over and kisses my cheek before I can get out of the car. I hear him driving off before I'm at the door. Mom and Glen are still out but Jake is in the kitchen when I come in.

"Why do you look like your dog just died?" Jake asks.

"I'm going to lie down," I reply.

I go up to my room and lie on my bed, my first instinct is to call Fitz, be in his arms, have him comfort me, but I can't do that. I spend the rest of the day in my room, barely eat dinner and make the excuse that I'm on my period and not feeling great. Jake gives me a look but doesn't say anything. We share a bathroom; he knows when I'm on my period.

After hardly sleeping last night I fall asleep early. It's a restless sleep though, my dreams are erratic and leave me with a disconcerting feeling, even though I don't remember any of the dreams. I don't eat breakfast and when Jake asks me what's wrong on the way to school I only shrug, and he drops it. When we get to school I force a smile on my lips and find my friends. Some students are putting up posters for the Sweetheart Dance next month.

I maintain the smile through first period, but my smile drops when we get into parenting, and I see Owen and Fitz in the room. Fitz will hardly look at me, and I feel a pit in my stomach. We're given packets with surprises and assignments for the week. There's nothing too difficult in our packet, some minor health things, but things we've researched. Of course, there's some things to put in the budget and a report due Friday.

"You want to come to my place after newspaper to start on our report for the week?" Fitz asks when the bell rings for lunch. It's the most he's said to me all day.

"Yeah, I'll text you after the meeting," I reply.

Fitz grins, but it's not his usual wide cheerful grin. That disconcerting feeling I had this morning just keeps getting bigger. Fitz leaves the room without looking back at me or waiting for Owen. I walk to the caf with Jenna and Adam. We get in line for lunch and sit at the table with Alli and our other friends.

We've been eating for about ten minutes when there's a loud whistle and everyone looks at most of the hockey team that just came in together. They walk to our table; they're holding signs and I get a sinking feeling when they all look at me. In succession they hold up their signs, they read: Clare will you do me the honor of going to the dance with me? Owen holds up the last sign reading with me? Obviously, he's asking me to the dance, not that I know any of the other players well enough to think they'd be asking.

Around me girls, including my friends, are gushing at the romantic gesture. Some guys are snickering, some are groaning, others whispering. Fitz is conveniently absent from the whole scene. As for me, I'm just flabbergasted. Stunned beyond speaking, Owen has never done anything like this. He's making me the center of attention for the entire caf, I feel my cheeks flush. As sweet as this is, I really want to crawl under the table right now. All eyes are on me waiting for an answer and I can't seem to find my voice.

"It doesn't have to be a date; we'll go just as friends if it makes you feel better. Please say yes," Owen begs.

He's done everything but get down on one knee. Despite him saying we can go as friends it's a Sweetheart dance and it's the day before Valentines. Seems like a date to me. I have to wonder if Fitz knew about this and didn't tell me, normally he'd eat with us or Owen or Drew and Bianca, all of us are in the caf.

"Yes," I barely manage to get the word past my lips. What other answer could I give? The public display of a grand romantic gesture. Pleading that we can go as friends. I felt totally backed into a corner. How can you say no to a gesture like that? A gesture like that in front of most of the school, your friends.

While I could hardly get the word out Owen is grinning wide, high fiving the team as they congratulate him. Alli and Jenna are still gushing about the gesture, loud enough that I can hear them. I meanwhile am feeling a little lightheaded and a little like I might throw up. Owen says something about finalizing plans, but I hardly hear him and just nod. The hockey team walks away from the table now that I've given my answer. They're still talking about it as they get in line for food and the signs get tossed in the trashcan.

"That was so epically romantic," Alli practically squeals in my ear.

"So sweet, he must want to get back together with you really bad," Jenna says in the same gushing tone.

"Yeah, he must," I murmur as I stand up from the table. "I need something from my locker, I'll see you guys in class," I comment. I leave the caf and don't notice Adam followed me until we're out of the caf and he's tugging on my arm. He pulls me into an empty classroom so no one can hear us.

"Are you okay?" Adam questions.

"It was sweet I guess, but I felt cornered, I couldn't say no. I don't really want to go to the dance with Owen, but I said we'd go as friends. I hope he sticks to that."

"Is there someone you do want to go to the dance with?"

I reply by biting my lip, Adam knows me well enough to know what that means. He doesn't say anything but does pat my shoulder. He stays with me; I didn't actually need anything from my locker so we simply go out to the hall.

"So, Owen declared his love in the caf in front of everyone? Got the whole hockey team to help," Eli comments as he joins us.

"Yeah, asked me to the dance, what was I supposed to say when he did it like that?"

"She wanted to go with someone else," Adam says.

"Well, of course, she wanted to go with us, the two best guys in the school," Eli smirks. I giggle and kiss his cheek.

"Owen says we're going as friends, but I'm sure I'd be much happier going with the two of you," I reply.

"Actually, I'm taking Jenna to the dance, I asked her in class," Adam informs us.

"Adam, that's great! I knew I saw a little spark between you two," I grin. Eli slaps him on the back and Adam's cheeks go red just a little.

"I asked Imogen to go with me at lunch," Eli tells us. He and Imogen had drama club at lunch.

"It's about damn time, you two have been flirting for months," Adam remarks.

Eli smirks again and the bell rings signaling the end of lunch. The boys stand up and pull me up. Adam and I walk to class together and I see the smile he gives Jenna when he sees her. I'm not paying much attention in class as my mind is weighed with thoughts of Owen and Fitz. I know Adam or Alli can give me the notes and homework later, so when the bell rings I go straight to the newspaper staff meeting.

"Clare, I heard about Owen's grand gesture in the caf this afternoon we're going to make that a feature," Katie announces as soon as the meeting has started.

"No Katie, I…" I start but she cuts me off.

"It will help us sell tickets to the dance, and what other boy at this school is that romantic. Maybe it will teach them something," Katie says with finality. I sink into my chair and huff so hard that it fluffs my bangs.

"I'll write it Katie, but it won't be enough for a full article. I can write an article on the dance and include what Owen did as a part of it," Liam speaks up.

"Alright fine," Katie nods.

"Thanks," I whisper to Liam, and he smiles at me.

As soon as Katie gives me my assignments for the week I leave. I text Fitz that I'm ready and he says to meet at his car. He's already there when I get to it. He opens my door and helps me in before going to his side.

"So, you're going to the dance with Owen?" Fitz asks as soon as we begin driving to his house.

"He cornered me, I couldn't say no. I told him it was just as friends though. Did you know he was planning that?"

"He asked me to help, I told him no. I knew you wouldn't like it, having all the attention on you, feeling backed into a corner. I think he planned it that way so you couldn't say no, not without being labeled a complete bitch for it, even after he cheated. I couldn't be a part of it, knowing you would hate it so much and knowing you'd say yes which would mean you were going with him and not me."

"This isn't fair, I want to go with you and not him, the dance is still a month away, that would have given us enough time to tell him about us," I sigh, and my head falls back against the seat. Fitz reaches over and takes my hand interlacing our fingers.

"Don't worry about it, it's just one dance, and we still have a month to talk to him. Right now, let's enjoy the fact that we're alone and going to an empty house," Fitz says with a grin.

I smile as well and when he parks at his house we go straight to his room. He closes his bedroom door, pulls me into his arms and our lips couple in a steamily passionate kiss. He picks me up and sits on his bed with me on his lap. After half an hour of ardent kissing we come up for air. After getting a snack we actually do get to work. Fitz's parents are gone at dinner time and I stay with Fitz, we make pasta and garlic bread with salad. Turns out Fitz is a pretty good cook. He takes me home and kisses me goodnight. I have a smile the rest of the night thinking about Fitz.

(FITZ)

"Where are we going?" Clare questions.

It's Friday evening, Monday Owen asked her to the dance, in a way that I knew was bad. Clare agreed to go, but she's been to my house every day after school. We always use the reason that she's coming over parenting/life econ stuff. When we get to my house we always make out for the first half hour or more, then we get to homework. Last night we ate at Clare's house, at her mom's insistence. Tuesday night my dad was home and ate with us, but otherwise we've been alone. Tonight however, I had a plan, so when I asked her to go somewhere with me she didn't think twice about it. We're nearly to the waterfront and she's getting curious.

"Dinner," I reply.

"We could have cooked at your house," she comments.

"No, tonight is special," I tell her.

"This seems very expensive," Clare comments when I take her to the private room at the restaurant overlooking the water. I made reservations at sunset to be sure it would be romantic, but private. "Extremely romantic but expensive," Clare says.

"My dad's friend is the executive chef, I called in a favor, and he's prepared a special three course meal for us," I tell her.

"This is wonderful Fitz," she grins, giving me a gentle kiss before we sit down. It's a booth and we sit on one side and gaze at the water. Dinner is wonderful, other than the waiter coming in and out the only interruption is when Clare's mom texts.

"My mom is inviting you to our family game night tomorrow night. It's her way of trying to get us all to bond before the wedding. We play a couple board games and order in food. I can tell her you have plans," Clare says after looking at her phone.

"Sounds like fun," I smile.

"You haven't played board games with my mom," she replies, and I laugh.

We finish eating and our dinner plates are taken away. Clare turns a little to lean against me and look at the stars and the water. I grin, put my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. She makes a contented sigh and my heart flutters; this moment couldn't be any more perfect.

Of course, we still have dessert. When Clare and Owen were dating I found out her favorite dessert was dark chocolate silk pie with strawberries, so I made sure that's what we were getting for dessert. We have a whole pie, but she can take the leftovers home, on top of the pie spelled out in edible gold it says: Will you go to the dance with me? When it's presented to us Clare gasps, gets a huge smile on her face and crushes her lips to mine.

"Yes," she whispers against my lips. We eat dessert slowly; I've already paid so we leave when we're ready. I take her home and walk her to the door. "Tonight was amazing Fitz, absolutely perfect," she smiles, putting her arms around my neck and kissing me goodnight.

"See you tomorrow Sweet Stuff. What time should I come over?"

"We usually start around five," she replies.

"Five it is, I'll see you tomorrow," I grin and steal her lips for another kiss before going to my car.

I drive home happy, ecstatic even, totally floating on a high of happy. Until Owen texts asking what I'm doing tomorrow. Then I get a pit in my stomach, he wants her back, says he's still in love with her. How am I going to tell him I'm in love with her too? I tell him that I have plans with my dad. My plans with Clare and her family aren't until the evening but what would I tell Owen if we hung out tomorrow during the day. I'd have to lie again or tell him I'm going to Clare's. That Helen invited me over again because Clare and I are working together. Owen would believe it I'm sure but might ask me to talk to her about getting back together with him. I just can't do that.

Owen says to have fun and come over Sunday if I want to hang out. It's true we haven't hung out very much, and I used to be there all the time. I miss hanging out too, I just know if we're alone he's going to talk about Clare. He'll ask me if she's talked about him, if I think she'll take him back. He'll ask me to talk to Clare and try to convince her to get back together with him. I hate avoiding Owen, lying to him, but until we talk to him, I don't know what else to do.

I spend the rest of the night with Owen and Clare on my mind and feeling conflicted. I wake early Saturday to my parents fighting. It's all they seem to do when they're around each other recently. I get ready as fast as I can and get in my car. Normally I'd go to Owen's house, but he thinks I have plans with my dad. I call Johnny and then Lucas and we meet at Lucas' place. I hang with them until it's time to go to Clare's. They know Owen and Clare broke up and that I'm working with her this semester. Thankfully, they don't ask about it.

"Hi," Clare grins, opening the door for me Saturday evening. She's looking up at me, her lips ever so slightly pursed. I want to kiss her so badly, but her family doesn't know we're dating. So, I do something I know will make her scowl and make her look a little less kissable.

"Evening Babydoll," I smile.

She groans, rolls her eyes and smacks my arm, "Stop it with those."

"Never," I reply moving past her to go inside.

I greet Jake and her parents as I come inside. Helen orders dinner and we play a game while we wait for the food to arrive. Turns out Helen is rather competitive when it comes to games. I still have fun; my family hasn't played a game together in years. Even Owen's family doesn't play board games together. Dinner is delicious, the friendly family competition is fun, there's a lot of laughing, and I'm with Clare all evening. At the end of the night she walks me to my car. I go home with a smile on my face, the house is empty and dark, but at least my parents aren't fighting.

I stay up on my computer, crashing on my bed somewhere around three in the morning. I fall asleep thinking about Clare and have a very sexy dream about her…I sit on my bed watching Clare cross the room to me. Her hips sashaying, her bottom lip pulled into her teeth and she's gently biting it. She gets to me and straddles my lap, her hands on my shoulders and her lips touch mine. Our passionate kiss seems to melt away our clothes and we're soon lying in my bed naked, wrapped in each other and our lips still attached…BANG! The sound of a slamming door wakes me Sunday morning.

I've only been asleep a few hours, but now that I've been startled awake I'm up. I go to my washroom and shower, still horny from my dream I masturbate in the shower while thinking of Clare. Mom is home for a little while and sits with me while I eat breakfast. We talk a little, but she's guarded and won't talk about work or Dad. She asks about Owen and school; I tell her about Clare and I working together. When I tell her Owen and Clare broke up because he cheated she quickly makes an excuse to leave. I spend the rest of the day at home alone, on my computer mostly, and always thinking about Clare.

"Hey, how was your weekend?" Owen questions when I park next to him Monday morning.

"Okay," I shrug.

"Didn't have fun with your dad?" Owen asks and I suddenly remember my lie.

"Oh yeah, that was fun. Yesterday my mom was home for a bit, we talked for a little while. She didn't even know you and Clare had broken up. When I told her it was because you cheated, she made a quick excuse to leave," I tell him.

"Yikes," Owen says, slapping my shoulder while we turn and start walking into school, "that's not a good sign."

"No, definitely not," I nod. My stomach sinks and rolls all at once. Whether that's over fear, yet the inevitable feeling, of my parent's marriage falling apart. Or because I feel bad lying to my best friend and want to tell him about me and Clare, I'm not sure.

We go inside and see Clare in the foyer, she doesn't see us. She's sitting with Eli and Adam, her back to us. Owen looks at her longingly and I swallow hard.

"I'm going to win her back Fitz," Owen says as we turn the corner to our lockers. "I have weeks before the dance to try and get her trust back. Then the dance, I'm going to make it a magical night, no matter what I have to do, prove to her that I still love her. I'm going to go big, a tux, corsage, jewelry. I'll prove to her that I feel terrible for cheating. Will you talk to her for me? Tell her that I still love her and can be trusted, that I'll never cheat again."

"Owen I…"

"Please Fitz, she'll barely look at me but you're her partner this semester. Tell her I'll do whatever she wants me to do to win her back," Owen pleads.

My best friend is begging for my help. With my help over a girl we're both in love with. What am I supposed to tell him?