What will Fitz do?
Ch. 6 The Three of us is One too Many
(FITZ)
Owen looks at me awaiting an answer, his eyes pleading for my help. I'm so torn just now. Owen is my best friend and has been for a long time. We've always helped each other, but for the first time ever we want the same girl. At the same time, I don't want to tell Clare something even I'm not sure is true. I also know that Clare will hate the big public gestures and showy gifts of jewelry. I know that her trust in Owen will not be won back so easily, and definitely not through large public gestures and sparkly gifts.
"I…I'll try Owen, but it's not that easy. We're partners this semester but that doesn't mean she'll take my word on any of this. I also don't want to make it awkward between me and Clare when we have to work together all semester." It's all true, although I am definitely omitting some things.
"I understand, but at least she's listening to you and talking to you. Seems like you two are at your house every day for homework," Owen comments.
"Uh, yeah," I reply slowly, "let's get to class." We grab books from our lockers and start walking to class. We're nearly there when I see Jake headed for homeroom as well. It suddenly occurs to me that he could say something about me being at the house Saturday night. "Hey Jake," I call, and he looks at me.
"Hey Fitz, Owen," Jake nods to us.
"We'll be in class in a moment, I need Jake's help with a construction question," I tell Owen. He shrugs and goes into class; I grab Jake's sleeve and pull him down the hall a little.
"What's up Fitz? I doubt you have a question about construction."
"Owen doesn't know I was at your house Saturday night, don't say anything, please."
Jake arches his eyebrows so high they almost hit his hairline. Then one side of his mouth goes up in a grin. "Won't say a word," he says, making a zipping motion over his lips.
"Thanks," I nod, turning to walk to class.
"How long have you and Clare been…whatever?" Jake questions but keeps his voice low as we near the door.
"It's complicated," I sigh.
"Isn't it always," he replies.
We enter class and nothing else is said about it. I sit next to Owen, and he asks if Jake answered my question. I nod and lie that Dad and I are thinking about putting a shed in the backyard. Armstrong starts class so there's no further talk until the bell rings and we start walking to parenting/life econ.
"Maybe I should get Jake to talk to Clare too. He lives with her and would have more opportunity to talk to her. They're practically family, she would trust him," Owen comments.
"Don't involve her almost stepbrother, she could get mad at him for getting involved and put a strain on their relationship," I reply.
"Yeah, true," Owen nods as we enter the parenting/life econ class.
Clare and Adam are not in class yet, Jenna and Anya are. Owen smiles at Anya when he sits by her. As much as he professes to still be in love with Clare, he looks really happy to see Anya every time we come into class. I know Owen really well, but I'm not sure of his true feelings for Clare or Anya, despite his words.
"Hi," Clare smiles, sitting at the table.
"Hi," I grin back.
"I guess we're getting new surprises for the pregnancy today," Clare remarks.
"Yeah probably, I think we're pretty prepared though."
"Good morning class, you are now in your third trimester. I have new packets; these are not random. I have assigned them and chosen them based on each partnership's circumstances to this point. New assignments are in the packet, you have all of class to begin and I'll be available for questions."
"Preterm labor at 30 weeks, overnight in the hospital and bedrest until the baby is full term," Clare says, wrinkling her nose.
"It's a good thing we planned ahead and were prepared for this. You can do the blog and personalized fitness plans from the bed. We should have a baby shower and adjust the budget for anything else we'll need for the baby. I can wait for you to get out of newspaper, and we can go to my house after school," I offer.
"Actually, I've been thinking about quitting the paper," she tells me.
"Really? Since when?"
"Katie is not a good editor, after insisting that the paper feature an article over Owen asking me to the dance last week I've been considering quitting. I'm glad Liam wrote the article, he did a good job, kept the part on Owen's public display minimal and didn't ask to interview me. Still, Katie insisting on using it to advertise the dance just seemed self-serving. I mean her best friend is head of the dance committee. It's not real journalism, and honestly, I'm not sure it's an interest any longer. More than anything it was a distraction from my personal life last semester. Something to do while you and Owen were in football practice after school."
"Yeah, Katie is pretty high strung it seems, I don't blame you for not wanting to work with her. So, straight to my house after school?"
Clare bites her lip and nods. By the look in her eyes, the way she's gently putting pressure on her lower lip, I know she's thinking about kissing me. It's what I'm thinking as well, bringing her into my arms as soon as we're in my room and kissing her luscious lips.
We spend the rest of class making a list of things we still need for the baby's room. Making a fake baby registry and planning a fake baby shower. When the bell rings for lunch she leaves with Adam and Jenna, I leave with Owen. We eat with Drew and Bianca, but I see Clare and her friends in the caf as well. I do pay attention in my afternoon classes, but I'm thinking about getting Clare to my house and kissing her.
"Clare going to your house again, Fitz?" Jake asks as we leave fourth period.
"Yeah, she's on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy, gotta figure out what to do. She'll probably be over all week for parenting/life econ homework. I'll get her home though," I reply. It wasn't totally a lie, though we do already know what to do for the bedrest part.
"Good, you'll have plenty of time to talk to her," Owen grins.
Jake shoots me a look over his shoulder but doesn't say anything. Owen waves before going to hockey and I go out to my car where Clare is waiting. I open her door and help her into the car before going to the driver's side.
"I did it, I quit the paper," Clare tells me as I begin driving.
"You're better off, Katie would have been stressing you out all semester," I tell her.
"Yeah, that and now I have more time with you in the afternoons," she smiles.
I grin back, this swell of happy pride rises in me. I take her hand interlacing our fingers and kiss the back of her hand. We drive the rest of the way to my house in silence, but nothing needs to be said, we're happy just being together. When we're at my house we go to my room and make out on my bed for a while. Then we get a snack and actually get to work. Clare stays to do the rest of her homework and we go down to the kitchen to make dinner. One of my parents went shopping because there's chicken, rice and green beans. I start on dinner and Clare helps me cook, we're nearly done when my mom comes home.
"Hey Mom," I greet her as she kisses my cheek.
"Hi Sweetie, Hi Clare it's good to see you again," Mom says. She's smiling but there's something behind it and it makes me nervous.
"You too Mrs. Fitzgerald," Clare grins politely.
"I didn't think you'd be home, I only made two chicken breasts, but I could cut the chicken up," I tell Mom.
"I'm just home to change, going out with a friend. Enjoy your dinner kids, smells wonderful," Mom says. Before either of us can say anything, Mom disappears upstairs.
"It really does smell amazing, you are an amazing cook," Clare smiles. I grin at her and kiss her temple, Clare's compliment, her smile, eyes gazing at me, all worries of mom disappear because of Clare.
"Thanks, but you haven't tasted it yet," I reply. We sit down and she tastes her food then compliments me again on my cooking.
"It tastes amazing too, you're amazing. I can't believe you can cook like this," Clare says.
"It's not hard, Dad taught me, and I watched some videos. Been home alone so much I had to learn to cook. I could teach you some things if you want," I offer.
"I would love that," she replies with a smile that stretches her face.
I grin back but soon hear my mom's heels on the steps. I look over and she calls goodbye as she leaves. I have that sinking feeling again, it leaves when Clare kisses the corner of my lips. I smile at her and continue eating, Clare helps me clean when we're done and then I take her home. I walk her to the door, giving her a quick kiss goodnight and drive home. I shower and finish the last of my homework, I'm just thinking about going to bed when there's a knock on my bedroom door.
"Yeah?"
"Honey, could you come downstairs a moment?" Mom asks. I know that tone, it's the tone that means there's a talk about to happen that I probably don't want to hear.
"Sure," I reply, feeling a lump in my throat and have to swallow hard. I follow Mom down to the kitchen; Dad sits at the kitchen table, and I know this is not going to be good.
"Mark, Honey," Mom says, taking my hand. This is really bad, she's trying to placate me, and even my parents hardly ever call me Mark. "I am sure you're aware that it's been a little tense between your father and I for a while now."
I nod because I can't seem to talk just now, while in my head I'm almost screaming. "A little tense? You two have barely looked at each other in two years!"
"We've filed for divorce, signed the papers tonight. Your mother is moving out," Dad tells me. Neither one says anything about an affair, but I'm sure that's what it is.
"I've packed a couple suitcases and I'll be staying with a friend," Mom says and Dad scoffs. I take that to mean she's staying with whoever she's been having an affair with.
"Okay," I say. I can barely get the word out. Neither one is telling me everything and I can't seem to ask or say anything or even be angry. I'm not quite shocked either, I really have no idea what I'm feeling. I get up from the table and start walking to my room.
"Mark," Mom calls after me.
"Let him go, he needs time," I hear Dad telling her.
I get to my room, turn off the light, lock the door and flop onto my bed. I pick up my cell phone and call Clare, the funny thing is I don't even think about calling Owen. Usually, I would call Owen or just go over, but tonight all I want is to hear Clare's voice.
"Hi," she says, and I can hear the grin on her lips.
"My parents are getting a divorce; my mom is moving out and I think she's staying with whoever she's been having an affair with. My dad is numb or maybe just holding back his anger. I don't know how I'm feeling," I tell her.
I stay on the phone with Clare for the next few hours, talking about my parents mostly. When I hear Clare breathing heavily and regular through the phone, I realize she's asleep and hang up. I didn't mean to keep her up on the phone, but I felt so much better talking to her. I want her to sleep though, so I hang up and let her sleep. I can't sleep, I'm up the rest of the night. I hear Dad leave early and I shower before getting ready for school.
"Man, you look rough," Owen says when I park next to him at school.
"My parents told me last night that they're getting divorced. My mom left, and I was up all night," I tell him.
"That sucks, you want to come over to my place after my hockey practice?"
"No, I should go home, be with my dad," I reply. It's a lie. I want to go home and be with Clare. I can't tell Owen that. His house used to be my haven, the place I went when my house felt lonely and empty. Since Clare has been over pretty much every day my house has not felt so empty or lonely even when I'm the only one there. Even when she's not there I smell her or remember her and I on my bed or at my desk, in the kitchen. Owen's still my best friend, his home and family still a place I enjoy going, but it's just not the same as it was. Besides we haven't told Owen about us and until we do, I would just feel weird hanging out with him and feeling like I'm lying to him.
"I get it, let me know if you want company or anything," Owen says, hugging me from the side.
"I will, thanks."
We walk inside and I go straight to class, I'm pretty tired and I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't see Clare until we get to parenting and she asks if I'm okay. I don't know what to tell her, but Miss Sauvé comes into class and starts talking. We watch a movie on birthing classes and live birth which is not pleasant. Then we're supposed to be working on our budgets, but Clare and I have our budget done until after the baby is born.
"Are you coming over after school?" I ask Clare. I keep my voice low, so Owen doesn't hear, although he and Anya are engrossed in what they're doing.
"Yeah, unless you don't want me to," she replies.
"No, I want you to, I definitely want you there," I tell her, and she smiles.
"Then I'm coming," she smiles. I want to kiss her, I want to kiss her so badly, but I can't, not now.
Whether it's because I'm very tired or because I want to be alone in my house with Clare, the afternoon seems to drag on. I sit with Owen and some of the team at lunch. I don't eat very much and don't talk at all. I hardly remember a thing about either 3rd or 4th period, but art has no homework and Miss Dawes is a pretty easy teacher. I ask Jake for the homework in environmental science, and he says he'll email it to me. I wait at my car for Clare and help her in when she gets there.
As soon as we're in my door I kiss her, I crush my lips to hers and it's like I'm breathing for the first time all day. My lips part, hers part, my arm slides around her lower back pulling her to me. Her arms link around my neck, she goes on her toes deepening the kiss.
"I've needed to do that all day," I tell her.
"Let's go up to your room," she says, taking my hand.
We go up to my room and make out on my bed for a while. For that time there's nothing in this world but me and Clare floating on a wave of blissful passion. The world and all of its problems only come back when our lips part. We get a snack and start on homework, not much left to do for our parenting/life econ assignment of the week so we only work on it a little bit. She stays and we do the rest of our homework and then we make dinner.
I haven't heard a thing from either parent so we eat in the living room watching a movie. When we're done there's still no parents and she doesn't have to be home yet, so we make out in my room again. I set an alarm so I can get her home for curfew. When it goes off, we reluctantly pull apart. She gathers her things; we go out to my car, and I take her home.
"You know when my feelings for you changed?" I ask when I walk Clare to her door. Clare shakes her head. "Thanksgiving, it was your first one after your parent's divorce and you were eating with Owen and his family, so was I. We spent all evening together playing games and watching movies. I knew you had to be hurting inside, but you seemed more concerned with whether I was okay not eating with my family. I fell in love with you that night."
Clare grins, her lips stretching in a rapturous smile that makes her eyes sparkle. She stops walking but we're at her front steps. She goes up on the first step and turns to me so that we're eye to eye. Her hands on my shoulders, our eyes lock and she leans down touching her lips to mine. I put my hands on her waist and my eyes close as I hear a car parking. I feel her lips parting, my lips parting and my tongue is just caressing her lip when I'm violently yanked away from Clare. I hear Clare gasp just as a fist connects with my face!
"Owen, what are you doing?" Clare shrieks just as my vision comes back enough to see Owen standing over me.
"I was on my way to my best friend's house to see if he needed anything, to comfort him after the news of his parents impending divorce. Only I find my best friend making out with my girl outside her house," Owen growls. While he was talking, I regained my balance, I'm standing up again, but he steps forward to hit me again. Clare comes down and gets between us holding her hands out to stop us both from hitting each other.
"Owen stop, we were going to tell you, we just didn't know how or when," Clare tells Owen.
"Tell me what? That my best friend is betraying me with my girl?!"
"She's not your girlfriend anymore Owen, she broke up with you when she found you cheating with your ex-girlfriend," I remind him.
"So, you moved in on her the second we broke up?" Owen snarls moving forward to hit me again. I hold up my fists ready to defend myself.
"OWEN STOP!" Clare yells. She grabs his arm, but he shakes her off, she stumbles back and Owen swings at me again. I duck and tackle Owen to the ground. "STOP, BOTH OF YOU STOP," Clare is hollering at us but we're fighting and neither of us is stopping.
"KNOCK IT OFF BOTH OF YOU," Jake yells much louder than Clare. He also hauls me off of Owen and stands between us. "Owen go home," Jake orders sternly.
Owen glares at all of us, growls a little and stalks to his car with his fists clenched. He gets in his car slamming the door and driving off so fast the tires squeal. When he's gone Jake lets go of my shirt and looks at me.
"You should come inside and get some ice for that eye," Jake says.
Clare takes my hand pulling me inside before I can argue. Clare takes me into the kitchen and Jake opens the freezer. I notice the house seems very quiet as Clare pushes me to sit at the kitchen table.
"Where are your parents?" I inquire.
"Lucky for you it's date night, they won't be home for a little while yet. If Helen saw you two trying to kill each other on the front lawn she would have freaked out. So, I take it you two have been seeing each other and Owen found out," Jake comments. He hands me a pack of frozen peas wrapped in a paper towel and I put it on my eye.
"We were kissing on the front steps and Owen drove by. He saw us and came over, broke up the kiss by hitting Fitz. We were going to tell him about us, we just hadn't figured out how or when to do it," Clare explains.
"Well, that explains the brawl on the front lawn," Jake comments.
"I didn't want Owen to find out that way, but we don't have to hide anymore at least," I remark.
"Yeah, that is a good thing," Clare nods.
"Your parents will be home soon, I should get home," I say, setting the ice down. I really don't want Helen to come home and find me with a black eye in her kitchen. "Thanks for the ice and the assist Jake. I'll see you both tomorrow" I tell them. I give Clare a quick kiss before leaving the house. I'm not sure I'm going to sleep much tonight either, between my parents and Owen finding out about me and Clare I'm feeling so many things, sleep seems like an impossibility.
(CLARE)
"I'm going to wait for Fitz," I tell Jake when we walk into school Wednesday morning. We had to walk past Owen and most of the team on the steps. Owen looked away and the rest of the team gave me dirty looks.
"You want company?" Jake asks, looking outside at Owen and the hockey guys still on the steps.
"I'll be okay," I tell him.
He gives the guys one more look before walking off. I sit on the bench under the stairs so I can see when Fitz arrives. I see his SUV pull up and go to the door. I watch him walking to the front, but when he gets to the steps Owen and the hockey guys start coming up the steps. They push past Fitz shoving at him as they go.
"Leave him alone you testosterone filled jerks," I snap at them. They give me a few dirty looks, but no one says anything. "Are you okay? How's your eye?" I ask, looking at the black eye he has.
"It'll be fine in a few days," Fitz says. He gives me a quick kiss and puts his arm around me. "Ignore the hockey team, Owen's angry, he had to tell someone and told them obviously. It'll stop, not like I'm on the hockey team anyway, and none of them are on the track and field team."
Fitz walks me to class and kisses me at the door, which Alli sees, and starts asking questions as soon I sit down. By lunch it seems the entire school knows, and everyone has taken a side. All of my friends, including Eli, K.C., Adam, Drew and Jake, are all for me and Fitz. As is the entire track and field team. The football team is half for Owen and half for Fitz. Bianca is also not sure, she thought Owen and I were good together, but also thinks Fitz and I are really good together. She's been good friends with both of them for almost four years now.
Fitz, Adam, Jenna and I go to The Dot for lunch, there are people here from school, but no one is saying anything. Fitz and I do get a lot of looks though, I'm sure we will for the rest of the week at least. When we get back to school, I need a book from my locker and that's where Owen finds me.
"I guess this means we aren't going to the dance?" Owen questions. His angry yet hopeful tone startles me, and I turn around. Seeing his face I bite my lip, casting my eyes down to my shoes.
"Fitz asked me to the dance; I want to go with him. I only said yes to you because I felt I had no choice," I reply in a soft voice.
Owen growls, his fist flies into the door of the locker next to mine. The explosion of anger is startling, and I jump back. Owen's hand left a sizeable dent in the locker door.
"Owen," Fitz snaps, coming over and standing in front of me, "leave her alone. Your problem is with me not with Clare, don't get mad at her."
"My problem is the two of you getting together behind my back. I've had it with both of you, and Fitz you're out of the March break trip," Owen growls and storms off.
"I'm sorry," I apologize to Fitz. I feel terrible, I've put a rift in a lifelong friendship. Fitz puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he tells me as we begin walking me to third period.
"I shouldn't have kissed you outside my house last night. If I hadn't Owen never would have known. We would have had time to discuss how to tell him, to break it to him gently. When you told me you've been in love with me since October, I couldn't stop myself. Now because of me you've lost your friends, your trip over March break, I know you must have been looking forward to."
Several of the guys from the hockey, basketball and football teams were planning a trip over March break. Fitz and Owen had both started talking about it back in November when they began planning it. Fitz stops walking and turns kissing me softly.
"I'd much rather spend all of March break with you. It wasn't the first time we kissed outside your house, we couldn't know Owen would drive by," he says and kisses me again.
"And, what about Owen?" I question as we begin walking again.
Fitz sighs heavily, closing his eyes for a moment. I can see how painful it is for him that he and Owen are fighting. I squeeze his hand, and his eyes open. He gives me a smile, but it's a sad one.
"Hopefully, Owen comes around," Fitz says.
He walks me to class and kisses me at the door. I find him after school, and we go to his house. We don't make out like we normally would, we lie on his bed, and he holds me in his arms a long time before we get to homework. I don't even stay for dinner; he takes me home after we've done some work on parenting/life econ. He still walks me to the door and kisses me goodnight.
Thursday and Friday are pretty much the same. Owen, the hockey team and the members of the football team that are on Owen's side freeze us out. Many of them pester Fitz, knock into him as they walk past him in the hall and stuff. None of them trip him, hit him or push him or anything else we could go to the teachers for. Fitz keeps telling me to ignore it and it will stop. It's hard when I see how much it's hurting Fitz, he's having to choose between me and his best friend.
There's a hockey game Friday but of course we don't go. Knowing Jake is going out with Mo and staying the night, Mom and Glen are going to his parents for the weekend, I decide maybe Fitz should stay the night at our house. I was supposed to spend the weekend at Alli's, but I tell her I'm not up for it and she understands. I won't tell Mom and Dad, but I do find Jake. I thought about taking Fitz to the cabin for the weekend, but they are predicting snow, and we're more likely to get stranded at the cabin than anything.
"Hey Jake," I call Friday after school when I find him at his locker.
"Hey, I heard Alli telling Jenna you weren't going to her house this weekend," Jake comments.
"Yeah, not up for it, but I was hoping you could maybe spend a couple nights at Mo's?" I ask. Jake doesn't answer but does look over my shoulder at someone. I look back as well and see Mo standing there.
"It's cool with me, and I'm sure it will be cool with folks. You and Fitz gonna get down and dirty in your empty house this weekend," Mo teases humping the air. Jake groans and I roll my eyes.
"Actually, I was thinking more like a quiet weekend alone after the last few days. No hockey players, no one telling us they're on our side or we betrayed Owen. No one looking at us, no one judging us, just us. I'd go to the cabin b…"
"No way in hell I let you drive to the cabin at this time of year," Jake cuts me off before I can finish. "Take the house, just be careful and no sex," Jake says. I roll my eyes at the sex comment.
"Thanks, both of you," I smile at them before going out to Fitz's car where he's waiting for me.
"I was beginning to wonder where you went off to," Fitz comments as he opens my door and helps me in. I wait until he's in the car before talking.
"Sorry, I needed to talk to Jake. If you want to, we can go to your house and pack a bag, we'll have my house to ourselves until Sunday," I tell him.
"That is the best idea I've heard in a long time," Fitz grins.
We drive to his house in silence but happy. When we get there, we're surprised to see his mom's car and an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Fitz parks and looks at me, I'm sure he's thinking his mom is in there with her lover right now. He parks and comes over helping me out and we walk slowly to the door.
"Is this everything Sweetheart?" A man in the hallway asks. He's holding a box, just then Fitz's mom comes down the stairs carrying two suitcases.
"Oh, Fitz Honey, I thought you'd be at the hockey game," his mom says. Clearly shocked to see us. "It's good to see you, Clare. Fitz, do you remember Dr. William Dane from the hospital?" His mom questions motioning to the man.
"Yeah," Fitz says, nodding to the man. "What's going on?" Fitz asks and takes my hand.
"William and I are moving in together, we've been seeing each other for some time now," his mom says.
Fitz's grip on my hand tightens and I watch him go a little pale. Having suspicions that his mom was having an affair and being faced with the reality of it. Knowing that she's moving out and seeing the man she's moving in with have hit him like a brick wall. I don't know if he's going to yell, try to hit this man or run.
I'll update as soon as I can. Next story up will probably be the Clew slow burn "This is Life & I'm Wondering if We Should Play it a Different Way" but I've been on a plotting kick lately so I don't know how soon that will go up.