Disclaimer: I only own the plot and my OCs. Anything you recognize as not mine belongs to Marvel Studios, Disney, and/or their otherwise respective owners.

Author's Notes: Guess who's back to being a menace? :)

I'd like to thank everybody who commented over this past 3-month hiatus. Y'all amazing, much kudos to you. Sorry for the wait, hope this answers some of your questions (and doesn't make you throw your phone at the wall lol).

Chapter title comes from You Can't Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones, as does the next one. Perfect vibe for what's going on here, in case you somehow haven't listened to it before. Highly recommend.

Hope y'all enjoy, and until next week,

~TGWSI/Selene Borealis

~primis, omega, superhero, genius~

~somebody to love~

~chapter 10: what you want~

Beep...beep...beep...

Penny woke up slowly, as she always did whenever she almost died. She was aware of the beeping first, the rough – when your senses were as enhanced as hers, there was nothing truly "soft" – feeling of the silk bedding second, and third –

Her eyes snapped open.

She resting in a hospital room, or at least a good imitation of one. The only difference between this one and the ones she'd grown used to spending her childhood in due to her asthma and diminished lung capacity, besides the better technology, being that two of the walls were composed entirely of windows. They offered a beautiful view of the city, and for a moment she appreciated it. It wasn't often she got to look at the city from this height while inside, not anymore.

Then she saw Rogers sitting at her bedside, his arms crossed and his face blissfully blank with sleep.

Like a freight train, the events of the previous day – or had she been out of it for multiple days? – hit her. The giant bats. Going to Oscorp to confront Morbius. Letting the pseudo-vampire suck her blood. Stark, Rogers, and Romanoff bursting into the lobby, with Stark leading the cavalry. Her passing out from blood loss, as Rogers had been unable to get her to stop bleeding. The three alphas all seeing her face.

Vaguely, she heard the beeping begin to pick up.

Rogers startled awake. "Spider-Woman," he spoke, rising out of his chair. He raised a hand placatingly. "Spider-Woman, it's – "

She didn't understand why he was calling her that.

Surely he knew her name by now? Since he and the others knew her face, they wouldn't have had any problems at all in looking her up in databases or footages of the security cameras located around Manhattan. Stark didn't have the patience or the tact to not do that. And although there was no written record of her being an omega, she couldn't be sure her heat and scent suppressants hadn't momentarily stopped working. She smelled like a beta now, but that didn't mean she had while she'd been out of it.

Besides, it was only a matter of time until the suppressants wore off and revealed the truth if they forced her to stay here and recover.

"G – get away from me!" she gasped around the cannula in her nose, feeding her oxygen. Her pupils dilated. "Get out!"

Genuine uncertainty warped around Rogers' expression. He had no idea what to do. "Spider-Woman – "

Before he could do anything more or she could make a further fool of herself, a doctor came into the room. "Out," she said, gesturing to the super soldier.

With some reluctance, he left.

As soon as he was gone, the doctor turned back to her. "Spider-Woman, you are lucky to be alive," she said baldly.

Penny froze. Truthfully, in her line of expertise, she heard those words a fair amount. She, however, did not exactly trust the mouth they were coming from. "And who are you?"

"My name is Dr. Chung," was the response. The beta woman glanced over at the small amount of equipment Penny was hooked up to. She made some adjustments, nodding to herself and making notations on what looked to be a fancy iPad – sorry, StarkPad, as Penny had no doubt she was in the man's Tower now. "Before you ask, no, I do not work for Dr. Stark, I am employed by SHIELD. And even if I wasn't, your medical information is classified to almost everyone."

Penny narrowed her eyes. "Do you know my actual name?"

"Yes. But, until you ask me otherwise, I will only address you as Spider-Woman." Taking out one of those small flashlights, the doctor flashed it in each of her eyes. She winced at the action, it feeling akin to looking directly at the Sun, but she knew better than to complain. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Passing out in the Oscorp lobby," she answered. "Why? What happened?"

"Follow my finger." She did as instructed. "Good, it looks like everything is fine. I'll want to do some additional checks to make sure, but first: what happened was, as I said, you almost died. One of the veins in your neck was torn. From that and Morbius' feeding, you lost almost sixty percent of the blood in your body. To be frank, if you weren't enhanced, you would be dead. As it is, Captain Rogers donated some of his own blood to kickstart your healing factor, since he is O+ and you are AB+."

She frowned. "Really?"

She didn't know how to feel about that. Her soulmate though he was, having Rogers' blood in her felt a lot like it was a sort of...debt.

"Yes. Sit up, please."

With some difficulty, Penny pushed herself into a sitting position. The black spots appeared back in her vision, but they went away quickly as Dr. Chung put the end of the stethoscope on her back and instructed her to take deep breaths. "What day is it?"

"Two days after Valentine's Day. The sixteenth."

Penny barely avoided breathing a sigh of relief.

Good. That didn't take away the possibility her scent had blipped, but if it hadn't she still had almost two weeks until the effects of her suppressants would wear off.

"When will I be able to leave?"

"Well, I don't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to now," Dr. Chung told her. "But Director Fury instructed me to tell you he was planning on there being a briefing with you and the rest of the team as soon as you were released."

Oh, no.

"Is there any way I can get out of that?"

Dr. Chung hummed. "You probably know him better than I do."

So, the short answer: "no."

Oh, no, no, no...

Dr. Chung seemed more willing to leave her to her fate than she would've preferred. She left the room about fifteen or so minutes later after unhooking her from the various equipment including her catheter (gross), informing her not to shower yet as the bandage on her neck had to remain there for the rest of the day at minimum. When she was gone, Penny stared around at the room blankly.

"Crotchety old bastard," she muttered for the sake of it. "Why my parents had to make him my godfather, I'll never know..."

On the chair that Rogers hadn't been sitting in, there was a pile of clothes waiting for her. Taking them into the ensuite bathroom, she closed the door behind herself, locked it, and swiftly changed into them. The clothes were nice, albeit not exactly to her style: she'd never been one for blouses, only band or science punny t-shirts and jumpers. And her jeans were always skinny, never boot cut.

Before she left the bathroom and the hospital gown discarded on its floor, she took a look at herself in the mirror – a strange concept, she knew. She didn't look too bad. Her hair was darker and frizzier than it usually was due to extra time than usual passing since she'd washed it, her skin was pale, and there were dark bruises under her eyes. But she didn't look like she was at death's door, either.

Her eyes trailing downwards, she saw the gold chain which hung from her neck, the pendant of ashes and the wedding ring. Biting her bottom lip, she tucked both underneath her shirt.

She was already going to face an undoubtedly furious Fury (heh), she didn't need to give more fuel to his fire.

(Or theirs, for that matter.)

Stepping back into the hospital room, she found a pair of shoes her size on the floor next to the bed. Slipping them on, she casted her gaze upwards and asked tentatively, "JARVIS?"

"Hello, Spider-Woman," a male British voice replied from the ceiling. Stark's AI. "How may I assist you?"

"I'm," she had to stop in order to wet her lips. Darn it, she probably should've gotten a drink before she did this, "I'm supposed to be attending a briefing with the...others. Where will that be?"

"On the seventy-seventh floor. You are currently on the eighty-fourth," he informed her. "Would you like me to show you the way to the nearest elevator?"

"Yes, please."

She walked in silence, up until she got to the elevator.

As it began to go up, she spoke again, "JARVIS?"

"Yes, Spider-Woman?"

"How much of that exam by Dr. Chung's did you hear?"

"None of it. My audio was not enabled in the room until I heard the sound of your voice call my name."

Penny wasn't impressed. "And how can I trust that you're telling the truth?"

"One of my original lines of code instructed me to always tell the truth unless it betrayed the confidentiality of Boss, whether it be of the medical variety or otherwise. This was later extended to Ms. Potts, Mr. Hogan, Colonel Rhodes, and then the rest of the Avengers. But even if it weren't, I am a self-learning AI. I understand your wariness surrounding my parameters, and I assure you I have no interest in revealing any information I learn about you without your expressed permission." He paused. "I believe this is your stop, Spider-Woman."

The doors opened.

She sucked in a breath. "Thanks."

"You are welcome."

Time to face the music.

Her palms sweaty, she walked down the main hallway of the floor. She hoped Stark, Rogers, Romanoff, and Barton hadn't figured it out yet. At all.

Fury wouldn't tell them. She knew him enough to trust in that.

Human minds were capable of amazing feats, however. Genius minds, like hers and Stark's, or those trained in observation, like Barton's and Romanoff's, most of all.

She came to a stop in front of the only conference room that had heartbeats coming from inside of it. For what seemed like an eternity, she stared at its door handle.

Then, she grabbed it. Twisted it. Pulled it open.

"Spider-Woman, I'm happy you're now able to join us."

She said nothing in response to Fury's jab as she walked over to the chair the farthest away from the other present Avengers, sitting down in it. Her eyes were firmly placed on her hands, which she set on the table. But she did briefly glance up, to see what the (not) initial assessment of her appearance by the others were. For curiosity's sake.

Banner looked surprised, as if her age was now only just occurring to him. Stark seemed...irritated, she didn't want to think about why. Barton was amused, Rogers concerned. Romanoff's face was devoid of emotion altogether.

Motor oil and leather. Fire and yew. Oak and honey. Patchouli and gunpowder.

Penny employed some Kegel exercises, as she felt a trickle of slick try to leave her body. Not today, Satan.

She looked back down.

"Now that we're all convened," Fury said again. "What the hell were you thinking?"

She didn't need to be a genius to know that he was talking to her, and her alone.

He'd probably chewed out the others already. Multiple times.

"I had the situation under control," she said.

He scoffed. "Like hell you did! Morbius almost killed you!"

It was easier than she would've cared to admit, falling back into the persona of a teenage vigilante who thought she knew everything. Petulant. Stubborn. Fury made it too easy. "But he didn't. I'm still here, last I checked."

"You disobeyed a direct order!"

"Since when is Captain Rogers in charge of me?"

Fury glared at her.

She returned the expression defiantly as she asked, "What's happening to Morbius?"

"What do you think? They're sending him back to prison," he gruffed. "He's looking at a life sentence this time."

A part of her felt bad about that. Was Morbius a pseudo-vampire who couldn't control his own urges if he got hungry enough? Yes. Did that mean he deserved a life sentence for it? No, not in her books.

Then again, that was probably why she wasn't in charge of the government.

She crossed her arms. "Okay, are you going to continue reaming my ass, or can we get a move on with this briefing?"

She heard Barton snort.

She ignored him.

She ignored all of them.

The rest of the briefing was short and to the point. As she'd deduced, they'd already done this before, and were mostly rehashing it for her benefit. The other Avengers spoke about wrangling up the giant bats, the total injuries (several dozen) and deaths (just two) from the event. They also debated on what they could do better in the future.

The entire time, she didn't utter a single word.

When the briefing was over, Fury swiftly and silently left the room, ever the one for dramatic exits. Slowly getting to her feet, Penny moved to do the same.

"Wait."

Against her better judgment, she looked up.

It was Romanoff who had spoken. Her expression hadn't changed, but there was something in it which gave Penny pause.

"Fury's done with you, but we're not," Romanoff continued. "Sit down."

And this, this was an alpha order. She could feel its hold on her as she sat back down in her seat.

She hated it.

Barton cleared his throat. "Nat," he murmured.

His fellow spy merely blinked.

Penny forced her vocal cords to work. "What do you want to talk about?"

She tried to keep her voice casual. Tried to make it sound like this wasn't one of her worst fears.

Key word: tried.

Rogers took the lead. He leaned forwards, his eyes soft and sympathetic. "We know you have reservations about us," he began.

Stark coughed. "Hate us, you mean."

"I don't hate you," she said.

It was mostly a reflexive response, one of pure instinct.

Stark looked skeptical. "Right."

"I don't," she repeated. Then, when it occurred to her too late that she was prolonging her time here, she added, "I'm sorry, continue."

Rogers did. "You don't like us," he surmised. "But what happened the day before yesterday shouldn't have happened."

"You were reckless, kid," Stark agreed.

Her jaw locked. "I always have been."

Barton smirked. "Not helping your case."

"We don't have any understanding of your biology," Banner spoke up. "We know you're enhanced, but obviously what that means for you is different than what it means for me or Steve. If you would allow Dr. Chung and I to perform some tests – "

"You're not examining me, I'm not a bug." A lock of hair fell into her face. She let out a puff of air, before tucking the lock behind her ear. "And you're not keeping my blood. It's radioactive. It's dangerous."

"So is mine," Banner replied.

Penny almost retorted with something she shouldn't've about how he'd already proven how dangerous his blood was and she wasn't interested in repeating the experience, but she didn't. They were dancing around the main issue, she could feel it. The air was tense, and it wasn't only because of her current standoffish nature.

She huffed. "What do you really want with me? 'Cause I can tell my biology ain't really it."

"Ain't?" she saw Barton mouth.

Banner and Rogers, the two members of the group who weren't spies or had grown up in the spotlight, gave away their tells. They both subtly looked at Stark, until the man sighed and rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine, I'll be the bad guy. We – I– want you to move into the Tower, Spider-Woman."

Penny made a noise of disbelief. "The last time you asked me that, I said 'no.'"

"Consider this me asking you to reconsider."

"And why would I do that? You don't respect me," she seethed, standing back up again and placing her palms on the table. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, making her every inch of an angry omega, not that they would realize that. "You call me kid, even after I told you not to! Romanoff just gave me an order! Almost all of you are alphas, and – "

"You don't dislike Steve," Barton observed, interjecting.

That made her stop short. "What?"

"Sorry, just something I noticed," the archer said, waving a hand. "Continue."

She almost didn't. The thought of obeying one of them of her own volition after Romanoff had done was paramount to treachery. She was an omega, was even their omega, after all, but she wasn't one to be bossed around or told what to do like some sort of damsel in distress.

Alas, the thought of making them feel how she felt was simply too tempting. She wanted them to hurt and feel angry. Any fraction of the suffering and rage she'd been experiencing since the Battle of New York (since before that), knowing the universe was pulling her in ways she didn't want, would do.

"Not to mention, you must think I'm stupid," she accused. "You know my identity; I don't understand why you're acting like you don't."

Confusion flickered on all of their faces.

"Ki – Spider-Woman," Star corrected himself. "We don't know your identity."

"Don't act like you don't."

"But we don't," Banner protested. "We don't know anything about you."

"No? You've known what I look like for two days. Surely, you would've used facial recognition, or JARVIS, or – something to figure out who I am!" She threw her hands in the air for emphasis.

Barton made a face. "She does have a point."

Was he always like that, she wondered? Trying to ease the tension with humor? Right now, it was nothing but grating.

"Let me assuage you," Stark suggested, putting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together. "We do not know your identity. Was I tempted to look it up? Yes. Was everyone else in this room? I can't speak for Spangles – " Rogers was only vaguely amused by the nickname, it appeared, one of the corners of his mouth quirking " – because of how righteous he is, but Natasha and Clint were, too. Bruce wasn't; out of the lot of us, he's the better person besides Steve."

"I'm honored," Banner commented dryly.

Stark acted like he hadn't spoken, pressing on. "But none of us have looked into finding out who you are. You've made it abundantly clear just how much you don't want anyone to know that information, and we're going to respect that. And if you don't believe me, there is one person who you can. Isn't that right, JARVIS?"

"Boss and the other Avengers indeed have refrained from looking into your identity, Spider-Woman," the AI said.

Penny didn't want to believe them. Every inch of her wanted another reason to distrust them and push them away. But...doubt was seeping into her mind. Although Romanoff and Barton were spies, she didn't think Stark would blatantly lie like this if she was right. If Rogers and Banner were in on the hypothetical secret, which certainly wasn't a guarantee, they wouldn't allow it, either.

Maybe they really did have no idea who she was.

"I'm sorry, too," Romanoff acknowledged. Now, besides the previous confusion, there was a new emotion on her visage: remorse. "I shouldn't have done that. It was very unprofessional and unethical, and I let my instincts get the better of myself."

Penny subconsciously bit the inside of her cheek. The apology was...nice. It didn't make things right, but maybe they really hadn't –

"We respect you, Spider-Woman," Rogers voiced the ultimate conclusion of her train of thought, beaming at her lightly. "You were an integral piece in fighting off the Invasion, and you've been defending this city for the past six years. That's longer than any of us can say. You are reckless, Tony is right about that, but you hold your own very well, recent experiences notwithstanding."

"Flattery isn't the way to my heart," she remarked snidely.

He inclined his head, oblivious to her joke. She supposed it couldn't be much of one in the first place if you were the only one in on it. "So I figured. That doesn't make what I said any less true."

"We're not wanting you to live here because we don't trust you or think you're a danger to yourself. You are, for the record, but with people like us, who the hell isn't?" Stark was back to grouping the others in with himself on his suggestion. Penny didn't know whether it was because she didn't seem that angry anymore, he knew she didn't appreciate the whole "bad guy vs. good guy" routine and/or was tired of doing it, or something else. "You said it yourself: almost no one knows who you are. When was the last time you had friends, or if that doesn't fit, people you could talk to about your crimefighting problems? Regular human interaction outside of your work or as Spider-Woman? A good night's sleep?"

Romanoff smirked at the last comment, suggesting it was a hypocritical statement.

Stark ignored her. "Or what about a physical exam to make sure you aren't secretly dying inside or whatever? When was the last time you had any of that?"

Too long, her mind whispered.

It did not change things. She should say "no" again to him, because she was better off without them and the same was true for the vice versa.

And yet...

She craned her neck to look outside the window. While her body was still tense and her muscles taught, the anger was slowly leaving her, and all because of one thing. Two, if you counted her instincts.

Penny did not regret her actions after Harry had died, she never would. Removing the memory of Penny Osborn from the entire universe was in the best interests of everyone. But that did not mean she didn't miss her old life. She missed Ned, her best friend from the time they were in elementary school, who loved Star Wars as much as she did and had been with her through thick and thin, up until the very end when she'd taken that choice away from him. She missed MJ, with her punkish attitude and love for social/civil rights issues, her fellow omega-in-crime. She missed Gwen, the only person at Midtown who'd been as smart as her, who was knowledgable about everything fashionable and had been willing to push Penny when she'd needed to be.

(She missed Wade, with his constant dialogue and propensity to purposefully get himself injured as some sort of twisted joke. She missed Matt, with his strong sense of justice and how protective of her he'd been, like she was his little sister in all but blood. She missed the Ancient One, Tao, and how calm and collected she was. She missed Wong and the stoic front he always loved putting up in front of the newbie sorcerers to mess with them. She missed – )

She was not naïve enough for her opinion of the alphas to have changed between the Battle of New York and now. They were not going to be her friends, would not remain that way once – if ever – they found out what she really was to them.

But then, Rogers said softly, "Please, Spider-Woman."

And something inside her broke, remembering everything she'd once had and being compelled by her most basest desires to do what they wanted.

Sitting back down, she drummed her fingers against the tabletop. "Say I say yes," she said, not tearing her gaze away from the window. "What would that entail?"

Stark's already fast heartbeat picked up thunderously. "You'll have your own floor here, like everyone else," he promised, before any of the others could speak. "You'll be able to come and go as you please, including wherever you work if you decide to stay there. Nobody will bother you. If you want, you can pretend like none of us exist."

"We do have a team breakfast every Saturday, though. It would be nice if you would come to that," added Rogers, sounding hopeful. "But you don't have to."

"You'll be able to get medical attention whenever you need it," said Barton.

Romanoff was next. "And train with us. You are good, but there is always room for improvement."

Then there was Banner, reminding her of his previous request. "I understand your position concerning your blood. But if you do change your mind, some tests could help you and me in understanding your biology better."

"So, Spidey, what do you say?"

It would be easy for her to say "no," she attempted to remind herself. Not hard in the slightest.

But her resolve was crumbling.

(It had already fallen.)

Penny inhaled a breath. Right then and there, she made a contingency plan. The second things went bad, when it looked like the alphas even might find out, she would vanish and disappear like the wind. New York City wasn't the end all, be all. It was her home, had been her home ever since she'd been born, but there were other cities out there in need of superheroes: like Boston, Chicago, or London. She would go there, under a new alias, and never be found.

But for now, she would stay here. She would not let any of them get close. She was simply going to humor them partially for companionship, mostly for the sake of them not pestering too much and finding out anyways. As Stark had said, she could pretend like they didn't exist.

It felt like she was signing her own death warrant as she removed her eyes from the window, looking back at the other five Avengers. "Fine," she said. "As long as you promise to continue to not look into my identity whatsoever, I'll do it. I'll move into your godforsaken Tower."

Word Count: 4,323

Next Chapter Title: what you need