Authors Note: Thank you to all who reached out in response to my last note. I still can't promise to continue this story through to completion however I've decided not to abandon it altogether just yet. Sometimes life's obligations take a toll and it seems like throwing away a project would be less frustrating than only being able to give it the leftover bits of time and energy. I was given some unexpected extra time to myself and out of all the things I could have done with that time I was drawn back to work on this fic. I was able to complete chapters 12 & 13. This story was supposed to be written and completed as I went through my own pregnancy and home birth as an exercise in "writing while experiencing". I was unable to make that goal but after reading an article about how historically childbirth in fiction has been "lost between the pages" (while detailed descriptions of everything else from sex to gore have been commonplace) my desire to represent and depict the experience within a work of fiction was reignited. While I still can't say when or if this will ever be finished it is my intention to at least keep trying. Though the fic may lose much of its audience with time I am very thankful to the thoughtful few who have let me know they would read any updates despite the time between them.
All that being said please note the following WARNINGS.
Chapters 12-13 contain realistic depictions of labor and childbirth. They are NOT graphic or explicit but descriptions may go beyond what would be seen in BSG2003. Please take caution in reading if you are triggered or made uncomfortable by the topic. Sections that contain this content will be marked CW for "content warning".
Thank you for your time.
LLA
NEW CAPRICAN COLONIAL TENT CITY; DWELLING OF SAUL & ELLEN TIGH
WEEK 41 OF CYLON OCCUPATION
"I'm gunna go check on her," Ellen decided, taking a pause from her pacing.
She'd been unable to keep still since she'd returned home from Laura's tent; folding and refolding towels, checking on the bunker and the placement of every item down there, making sure there was water on the fire ready to be boiled.
"No, you're not," Saul protested, for not the first time since she'd come home.
"Just real fast," Ellen countered.
Saul looked up from the notes he was reading; cylon administration papers acquired by Chief a few hours prior.
"Ellen, no," he said firmly. "It's long past curfew. We don't need anyone milling around unless they have to!"
"Saul-"
"We have a frakkin system in place for tonight, Ellen," he scolded. "Relax, will ya? You're acting like there's a bomb about to go off for frak sake."
Ellen looked down at him where he sat.
"There is," she reminded him with an arched brow.
"Lower your frakkin voice," he scowled "You know what I mean. Sit down."
For a moment it looked as if she were considering taking a seat beside him.
"I'll be right back," she said instead.
"Ellen, you sit the frak down or I swear to the gods if you try and leave this tent I'll knock you down, drag you in and tie you up, and not in a fun way!" Saul warned her with a pointed finger. "You leave now and someone sees you, it could tip 'em off that somethings up. Is that what you want?"
Ellen frowned and began to nervously wring her hands.
"No. I just-"
"You just saw her two frakkin hours ago."
As soon as the Tighs had been given notice by Cottle's messenger that Laura was in labor Ellen had rushed over to her tent while Saul contacted Anders and Tyrol.
"And she was already in so much pain," Ellen argued. "A lot could have changed in two hours."
Saul rolled his eyes. He knew that his wife had good intentions but even when she meant well she had a habit of making herself into a major pain in the ass.
"If she needed to be here by now she would be," he rationalized. "And if something happened and she was rushed to Cottle I'd be informed. So quit fretting like a mother hen!"
Ellen looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"Aren't you worried?" she challenged.
Saul cleared his throat and straightened out his papers trying to find where he'd left off.
"No use wasting energy," he grumbled. "It's gunna be a long night."
Internally he was almost as anxious as his wife. His last imprisonment had left him with an injury and limp that he was almost sure he'd have the rest of his life. He'd seen and felt the true evil they were dealing with. Now more than ever he was determined to keep Bill's son out of the clutches of the cylons. Cottle and Anders had a plan and it was a good plan on both ends, but Saul knew that anything could happen. Laura would be in such a vulnerable state right below his feet and with his bum leg Saul had never felt more useless. He wished he still prayed, still believed in the gods so he'd have someone to ask for help. He had to believe in the men and women in his charge and in their strength. It was all he had to count on.
"Oh, bullshit. You're as worried as I am, Saul. I can see it all over your face. You forget, I know you better than you know yourself."
"Good. Then you know how much I wish you'd quit yapping your big trap."
Ellen rolled her eyes at his insult and continued her worried pacing.
He was right, as much as she hated it. She couldn't risk attracting any extra attention. She'd hardly let Saul leave the tent since he'd returned last.
Ellen had become almost paranoid, always waiting for him to be taken again. To make matters all the more grueling now his arrests came with a secret daunting ransom that he had no knowledge of.
After her visits with Cavil had become increasingly violent Ellen had told herself she wouldn't return but her choice in the matter dissolved one day when she was approached by a cylon Five at the marketplace. The skinjob had escorted her to Cavil's office.
'I'm considering issuing a warrant for your husband today,' he'd casually threatened. 'Unless you can come up with a reason why I shouldn't.'
Feeling as though she had no other choice Ellen had done what she thought she needed to. Mentally it was wearing on her. She'd lost any sense of control of the situation. She supposed she'd been a fool for ever thinking that she'd held any. Anders had been right. She should have stayed away. Now she didn't just live in fear of Saul being arrested. She lived in fear of being summoned by the One at his will and of Saul eventually finding out. She didn't want to compromise anything more than she already had. There would be enough people rushing around after curfew. She decided she wouldnt to add to it, but she couldn't just sit there waiting.
"Maybe I should go down and make sure there's enough towels," she thought aloud after a few minutes.
"You did that twice already," he reminded her without lifting his eyes from his paper.
"I checked the sheets and the power cords last time," she corrected him as she went for the rug that concealed their access point to the bunker.
Saul glanced up over the document and let out a groan.
"Ellen, listen to me. Please? Just for a second," he appealed, putting the creased pages to his lap. "I'm serious."
"What?"
He knew arguing wasn't going to stop her, but he'd been growing concerned with how invested she'd become in the entire situation. He needed to say his piece before things went any further.
"I know you want to help. And I know it might be sort of…exciting for you to feel like you're part of what's about to happen here tonight. I just want to make sure you don't uh…overstep."
"Overstep," Ellen echoed in a tone that immediately made Saul regret his choice of words.
"You know, the Doc will be there. He's got a medic and a nurse midwife. They've got it covered. Tonight is about getting Roslin through this and getting the Old Man's baby somewhere safe. I just think you need to remember your place," he finished, hating that he'd felt the need to say it all.
He didn't mean to hurt her. He just wanted to stop her from causing trouble and from becoming more hurt in the process. He'd realized months ago that the situation was bringing up a lot of hard memories for her. They'd been past that part of their lives for so long and he didn't want to watch her relive the pain she'd been through. He'd asked her to stay out of it a few times, told her not to bother herself with it all, but she'd refused to listen to him.
"Frak you, Saul," Ellen told him as she bent down and yanked the rug away.
"Ellen, I'm not trying to be harsh," he attempted to explain. "Just honest. I don't want you getting disappointed if you're not as involved or needed as you want to be. That's all I meant."
Ellen knew what he meant and she was beyond insulted. For him to imply that she'd somehow inserted herself into the matter for selfish reasons was enough of an insult, but for him to assume that she was too emotionally damaged to handle it was a slap in the face. She'd been handling it for over a decade. She lived with it day in and day out. How dare he doubt the strength she'd shown for so long.
Ellen took a hold of the strap that opened the bunker entrance and glared up at her husband.
"There's going to be a woman in my home tonight going through something no man could ever understand. You remember your place, Saul."
NEW CAPRICAN COLONIAL TENT CITY; DWELLING OF LAURA ROSLIN
WEEK 41 OF CYLON OCCUPATION
CW
"Laura?" Maya called as she leaned into the tent with Isis on her hip.
She spotted her in more or less the same location she'd left her in thirty minutes before; beside her mattress kneeling on one of several blankets Ellen had set out for her once she'd realized that she wasn't finding any comfort on the bed.
For three nights Laura had been experiencing the early signs of labor only to have them taper off by sunrise. Cottle called it false labor, but Meri Brigid insisted it was all part of the process.
"Some women experience prodromal labor," the midwife had explained during a visit to the clinic tent. "Think of it as practice. Sort of like revving your engine before you actually hit the gas," she'd said to Laura and Maya who were growing tired of making the trip to Cottle and meeting Meri for exams just to be told it wasn't yet time. "You'll know when it's the real thing," she'd assured Laura.
And she'd been right. Laura woke in the late morning hours after a night of struggling to sleep. She'd known the moment she opened her eyes that something was different. After an uncomfortable breakfast that hardly went down she'd gone to Maya's tent. Hesitant as she was to report another false alarm she just had a feeling that this time that wasn't the case.
They walked to the med tent with Isis in tow. Laura was taken behind a curtain while Maya and the baby waited out of the way. After what felt like a never ending wait Cottle emerged to do an exam.
"Let's see where we are young lady," he'd teased, attempting to lighten the foreboding sense the day seemed to already carry with it.
Laura was quiet as the doctor donned his gloves. She'd hardly spoken all morning unless she had to. She'd asked Maya to come with her to Cottle but conversation on the way was minimal. Maya asked questions but Laura only gave short answers, mostly nodding or shaking her head in response. When Cottle's nurse had first greeted them she'd had her own series of intake questions that Laura gave one or two word responses to. The discomfort was causing her to clam up. She kept her jaw tight and her teeth gritted as if speaking would somehow make it worse.
Cottle's exam was short but excruciating. She hadn't expected it to be so taxing and it took everything Laura had not to cry out in pain. Instead she'd gripped the sheets beneath her until her knuckles turned white.
"Someone call for Meri Brigid," the doctor said leaning out of the curtain as he removed his blood tinged gloves and tossed them in the trash. "You can relax," he'd told her. "Nothing big happening anytime soon, but let's just wait for Ms. Brigid so we can all talk about what the next few hours are going to look like."
He'd left Laura to rest, promising to update Maya and to return once Meri arrived.
Cottle wasn't explicit but she'd known what he'd meant. This time it was real. The next few hours would be utter chaos, her body would be in agony and she would be fighting for her life and the life of her son. The realization was descending upon her at a rapid pace. She was supposed to have another two weeks to go. Laura's heart began to ache in that moment almost more than her belly. No matter what happened, be it due to death or circumstance she knew that she had only a few precious hours left with her baby before she had to say goodbye.
Meri had arrived a short time later in a mirthful mood befitting of her name.
"I've been told good news," she'd said as she rushed to Laura and kissed her hair at the crown of her head.
"No one's said much of anything to me," Laura had grumbled in return.
"Are you ready to meet your little boy?" Meri asked as she squeezed her hand.
Laura's eyes watered at her words.
She was relieved when Cottle had walked in saving her from having to attempt to use her voice.
"She's three centimeters dialated and beginning to efface. Blood pressure is fine. Contractions are still erratic but seem to be increasing in strength. Bloody show was evident during the exam," he announced.
"See, Laura? I told you your body has been hard at work the last few days," Meri encouraged. "That's all major progress. You've done so well so far."
Laura was mystified. She hadn't done anything as far as she was concerned other than lose sleep and bother Maya. It was as if her body and mind were on two separate journeys.
Meri and the doctor were in agreement. Laura was officially enduring the first stage of early labor. Suddenly the waiting and the planning was over. Suddenly it was actually happening.
"I suspect things will pick up later as the sun sets," Meri had told her. "Usually that's how it works. These things happen with the moon, dear."
Their plan was for Laura to get through half of the first stage of labor in her own home unless an emergency arose. They explained that the process could go on for quite a long time and that there wasn't much for anyone to do for her during it. She would be safer and more comfortable at home until things picked up. Laura was nervous, but Cottle assured her that had she been going through the same thing in Caprica City the hospitals would use the exact same practice.
Maya was to alert a resistance member stationed in the tent across from hers once Laura met the criteria indicative of being halfway through of the first stage of labor. Meri had called it the five-one-one rule. Once Laura was having one minute long contractions every five minutes consistently for one whole hour it was time to send for her escort. They'd given her instructions for what would qualify as an emergency transfer to the med tent, such as excessive bleeding or if her water were to break and appear murky or discolored. Once they knew the rules and information Cottle and Meri sent the two women back home to allow Laura to labor in peace and the rest of the resistance members to get prepared.
After returning to her tent Maya left Laura, encouraging her to rest when she could and call for her if she needed anything.
Not long after the news made its way to the Colonel Ellen Tigh showed up at Laura's door. She'd announced herself and entered with a jug of drinking water in one hand and a jar of honey in the other.
"You just tell me when you want to be alone and I'll leave you be," she'd told Laura and then went about making herself useful, boiling more drinking water, changing the bedding and offering occasional words of support.
Surprisingly enough to both of them, Laura never asked her to leave and Ellen had spent the better part of two hours there.
"Do you think maybe you'd be more comfortable in bed?" she'd asked at one point noticing that Laura was favoring the floor, choosing to brace herself on the side of the mattress.
"No," Laura protested, shaking her head. "I don't know why. I just feel better down here."
"In that case…" Ellen had said before going to work grabbing every blanket, pillow, towel, or cushion she could find and making Laura a comfortable space beside her bed so that her knees were not directly on the rubber matting that made up her tent floor. "That's better. Now you have a little nest. Can't have you wearing yourself out already."
She'd offered to make Laura something to eat and continued to bring her water, reminding her to hydrate. Laura took the water but refused all offers of food even when Maya stepped in and encouraged her to eat as well. Both women tried to tell her that she needed to keep her strength up but she just couldn't bring herself to even think of it.
After finally convincing Laura to take a few meager spoonfuls of honey Ellen left her with a promise that she'd see her soon.
Seven hours later and Laura was still in her tent.
"Laura?" Maya called again, shifting Isis' weight to her other arm.
"Hm?" Laura responded with her face buried into the mattress.
"How ya doing?"
"Uh…" she began, stopping to cringe through a sharp pain. "I…I don't know. It's so damn hot in here."
Maya was bundled up as the evening's temperature had dropped a good deal since sunset. The tent was far from hot and she couldn't do much to help Laura feel any cooler. She was in a thin sleeveless white nightgown that went to her mid thigh. It was the lightest thing she had that still fit, but even so she was starting to sweat through it. Her legs were beginning to tremble from a mix of pain and fear and a few times she'd gotten loud enough that Maya had faintly heard her next door. She knew first hand how hard Laura had to be fighting to keep quiet and she felt so awful for her.
"I think I'm going to stay here for now, okay?" Maya said, taking a seat nearby in Laura's desk chair. "Things seem to be getting more consistent and I think we should start timing, see if you meet Meri's requirements yet."
"Am I keeping Isis awake?" Laura asked through a hitched breath.
"No. No, she's just up. You've been as quiet as anyone could expect you to be. More so, in fact. Don't worry. As soon as we move you to the bunker you won't have to hold back anymore."
Laura turned her head putting her cheek to the cool sheets on the mattress so she could see Maya and Isis where they sat.
"She looks tired," Laura observed the child through a short respite.
Maya could reassure her all she wanted but Laura knew better. She felt what Hera felt and even through her own pain and distress she could tell the little girl was exhausted.
"She's ok," Maya insisted. "I had her nap late since I figured it would be a long night. She's fine. She's just gunna sit here on my lap while we keep time for the next hour, okay?"
"Maya…Maya, I want you two to leave for Lt. Celellan's as soon as you call for my escort," Laura urged.
She needed to know that they were someplace safe. If she could just be sure that they were as protected as possible she'd be able to focus on getting through what was coming.
"We'll leave when they get here," Maya reasoned.
"I'll be okay," Laura insisted. "You two just go as soon as you can."
"Don't worry. We'll head to Duck's as soon as someone's here for you," Maya pledged as she bounced her daughter on her knee. "Now, no more talking about that. You just take some deep breaths and try to relax."
Laura attempted to nod before she was once again overcome by the overwhelming sensation of deep constricting tension. She gritted through it as best as she could as she grabbed onto the side of the bed.
The air she'd been holding within her lungs came out with a gasp as the spasms abated.
"Don't hold your breath, Laura," her companion gently reminded her. "That's not good for either one of you."
Laura put her forehead back down on the mattress as she tried to compose herself again.
"Maya?" she breathily called out.
"Hm?"
"How much worse?"
For a moment Maya was confused as to what Laura was asking, but she'd quickly realized that she was referring to the pain. She was asking how much worse it was going to get and Maya knew that she had to be careful how she answered. Laura was obviously in pain but unless she had an incredible tolerance Maya could tell that she wasn't yet in hard labor or nearing the transition period. She knew from her own experience what the intensity of transition looked like. It was the point when she'd begged for drugs while in labor with her little Diana. There had been no elective anesthetic on the ship she was on, or any other ship in the fleet for that matter. Anesthetics had to be conserved for operations where it was absolutely necessary and so any comfort for laboring mothers had been lost since the fall of the colonies unless surgical delivery was needed. They'd warned her ahead of time that there was nothing they could give her and yet when labor had progressed to a certain point she'd pleaded for them to make it stop all the same. Maya could still remember how afraid she'd felt, all alone and delivering her baby far too early to be safe. It wasn't the memory of the pain that had stayed with her afterwards. It was the awful terror she'd gone through, all of her fears realized at once.
"Well…" she began considering her words as carefully as she could. "Every woman's experience is different. All I can tell you is try not to let the fear overtake you, Laura. In life every other instance of pain tells us that something is wrong. Our bodies feel pain and we know that we are injured or ill. In this one very special instance there is immense pain but nothing is wrong. The pain is your body doing exactly what it's supposed to. It's just so hard to get the mind to believe that the pain isn't something to be afraid of. We're so trained to be scared of pain. If you let the fear take over it can consume you. I can't tell you not to be afraid, but don't let the fear of pain defeat you. You're strong and you have it within you to endure it until it's over. All mothers do," Maya told her, but Laura didn't have much in the way of a response.
"Gods," she winced.
"Don't tense up," Maya reminded her as Isis wiggled in her lap. "It will only prolong things. You want to let it happen. Go with it. Go into the pain. I know that sounds hard but it will make it go so much faster," she added. "Now, just tell me next time a contraction starts."
COLONIAL 1
OFFICE/RESIDENCE OF PRESIDENT GAIUS BALTAR
WEEK 41 OF CYLON OCCUPATION OF NEW CAPRICA
"Gaius?" Caprica called, rolling onto her side in bed. "Gaius?"
"Umpph," came a muffled reply from the curled up lump under the sheets beside her.
"Are you awake?" she whispered, extending her leg to nudge his foot with her own. "Are you, Gaius?"
"I am now, now aren't I ?" he finally snapped without turning toward her.
"I'm sorry," she told him, putting a hand to his bare back. "I can't sleep."
"Well lucky for you, you have the privilege of being a machine. I, on the other hand, need to sleep."
"I need to sleep too," Caprica defended, hurt by how he so often implied that she was less than, that she didn't need compassion or physical comfort because she was cylon.
She'd been struggling to rest most of the night; tossing and turning, unable to keep her eyes closed. The light of the moon was so bright coming through the portholes of the ship. Too bright to sleep through. She'd felt so strangly as they'd gotten into bed and the sense had only grown as she'd lain there restless for hours. Now she felt as if her heart were racing in her chest.
"Count sheep," Giaus dryly suggested.
"What's that mean?"
"Nothing," he snorted, pulling the covers up over his shoulders."Never mind."
A few moments of silence passed. Caprica wasn't sure if he'd fallen back to sleep or not.
"I just have the strangest feeling tonight," she said with a sigh, hoping he was still listening. "It started hours ago. I just feel so anxious or…I don't know. I'm not sure what to call it."
"The bottle by the sink," he directed her with a yawn. "Those should help, if they have an effect on cylons that is."
"You know I don't like drugs," she frowned in disappointment.
She'd hoped that he might offer to hold her, that he might show the slightest compassion for her unease.
"Suit yourself," he said, nuzzling into his pillow.
Caprica's eyes went to the soft beam of light coming through the window.
"There's a full moon tonight. Maybe that's it," she considered.
"That's hogwash," Gaius mocked. "There is no scientific basis for that old wives tale."
"But there is," she contested, turning to face the back of his head. "Of course there is. Moons effect all kinds of living creatures. It's not just the tides. Other barometric readings are affected as well. Moons can alter hormone levels and daily variations in melatonin and corticosterone in many living things."
"But not in humans," Gaius argued. "It's never been scientifically proven so in humans. Which is what you're modeled after. The moon isn't keeping you awake."
"There's documented anecdotal evidence over centuries. Just because we haven't found a way to gauge it in humans doesn't mean it doesn't happen," Caprica contended with new enthusiasm. "Especially when there are measurable statistical increases in things like sex drive, the rate of arrests, the amount of suicides and births…births," she repeated as she felt a sudden rush of her synthetic adreniline course through her veins.
"Very interesting," Gaius caustically responded as he curled up and got more comfortable. "Perhaps write this down for me to read another time when I'm not half unconscious."
Caprica hardly heard his acrid words. Her mind was suddenly racing along with the beating of her heart.
"Gaius, I'm going for a walk," she said, springing out of bed.
"Have a lovely time," he muttered, drifting off in no time.
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
ADMIRAL ADMA'S QUARTERS
WEEK 41 SINCE FLEEING NEW CAPRICAN ORBIT
"Sir, she's insisting on seeing you," Private Jaffee explained at the Admiral's hatch."She wouldn't take no for an answer."
"I'm sorry, Sir," Helo followed. "She just wants to talk."
"I can speak for myself, Karl," Sharon scowled.
Bill had been in his rack trying to sleep for hours when the knocking at his hatch began.
He'd been struggling so much that he was almost relieved to have an excuse to be awake. Upon opening the hatch he found the Marine accompanied by Helo, Sharon and her escort.
"I tried to get them to come back in the morning, but they insisted," Jaffee reported.
"It's alright, Private," Bill nodded. "Something wrong?" he asked, giving Sharon his attention.
Sharon opened her mouth to speak but then stopped herself, glancing side to side at the men who surrounded her.
"Sir, I need to speak with you privately."
Bill could see the genuine distress on the cylon woman's face. Whatever it was, it seemed urgent and it wasn't as if he'd been getting any rest anyway.
"Let her in," he ordered.
Jaffee and Sharon's Marine escort both stepped back into the corridor.
"I'll see you back home, I guess," Helo told her.
Sharon had spent most of the evening arguing with him about going to Adama. He'd convinced her to come to bed with him at one point but she couldn't sleep. They found themselves back out of their rack and in the middle of the same argument all over again. Helo had gone so far as to block their hatch when Sharon attempted to leave. He'd told her that she was being unreasonable and irrational. He'd said that she sounded crazy and that she couldn't just go to the Old Man in the middle of the night on a whim. Their relationship had brought enough speculation and unease to Galactica and Helo didn't want anything to spoil the progress they'd made or their upcoming marriage. Sharon spent hours trying to get him to let her go. Eventually, fed up and determined she'd left against Helo's wishes only to have him follow her all the way there.
"Fine," she told him over her shoulder as she made her way into the Admiral's quarters leaving him on the other side of the hatch.
Sharon followed Adama into his cabin, stopping abruptly behind him when he paused to tighten his robe and clear his throat.
"What's this about?" he asked, making his way to where he'd left a glass of water on an end table.
"Sir, I want to be honest with you," Sharon told him earnestly.
Bill drank down the entire glass of water as he stood there watching her. She seemed worked up and he worried that perhaps someone had hurt her again.
"Okay," he prompted, giving her the go-ahead and hoping like hell it was nothing nearly as serious as her previous attack.
"A few weeks ago we were talking and I told you that I thought we needed to get back to New Caprica quickly."
"I remember," Bill confirmed.
"You asked me if I knew anything. If I had a sense of anything."
"Yes…"
"And I didnt. Not really. I mean, not more than most of the people aboard who all feel like time might be running out," Sharon continued to explain. "I was offended to be frank. I know I can't expect you to trust me fully. I get that. But we've talked so much and so much has changed. I just thought that you…" she faltered. "Anyway, Sir, I didn't feel anything then, but I do now."
"What?" Bill scowled. "Has something happened?"
"I mean, I don't know," Sharon said with a shrug. "I'm not sure. I just get this feeling like it's about to. Like something big or important is about to happen, or is happening right now. It's just this overwhelming sense and I can't get rid of it. It started late this afternoon. It was bothering me all evening and now it's so strong it's keeping me awake."
"What do you know?" Bill pressed, suspicion filling his narrowed eyes.
They still weren't sure how the cylons communicated or whether or not one could obtain messages from a great distance. It was still a mystery and he couldn't be sure that Sharon wasn't somehow able to access information no matter how much she told them that wasn't the case. He wanted to believe her but wanting to didn't mean he was able to, at least not completely.
"Nothing. I'm telling you all that I know," Sharon promised, dropping her hands to her sides. "You asked before if I felt anything. You seemed suspicious that if I had I would have kept it from you. Well, I'm here tonight to prove to you that I wouldn't. I'm not. I have a feeling that something is happening, I just have no idea what."
Sharon stood there feeling exposed and a little embarrassed as the Admiral stared at her. Helo was right. It all sounded so absurd, but she didn't care. She was doing what she needed to.
"Well, thank you for sharing, but just what exactly am I supposed to do with this information?" Bill posed, still unsure as to what she'd just relayed to him.
"I don't know," Sharon answered, feeling foolish. "Maybe nothing. I just needed to be honest and I needed to tell you right away. I can't feel like I'm keeping things from you. I can't because what if something did happen? If I had any hint of it that could help or warn the fleet and I just kept it to myself, I know that would put me right back into enemy status. I never want to be there again."
Bill took in her explanation for a long pause.
"There's nothing we can do. I can't send in my warships based on the gut feeling of one nugget," Bill told her but the more he thought about it the more he realized that he'd been feeling something similar all night.
"I know, Sir. I just…I'm sorry. I just felt driven to tell you."
Bill kept his mouth shut. It was probably just a coincidence, but there was no use adding validity to something that was impossible to decipher or prove.
"It's alright, private," he told her."Try and get some rest."
Sharon stood watching him for a moment wondering what he thought of her. Whether he thought she was crazy or that she was somehow getting signals from their enemy it wasn't good, but at least her conscience was clear. She knew the feeling wasn't coming from her people and she was confident that it wasn't some kind of paranoia. It was coming from someplace beyond them like a divine unseen force. Sharon had experienced a similar sense before. She'd felt it for the first time when she'd realized that she was pregnant with Hera and then again just before the cylons had found New Caprica. Perhaps it was a message from God or the gods. Whatever it was she was sure it meant something important.
"Yes, Sir."
NEW CAPRICAN COLONIAL TENT CITY; DWELLING OF LAURA ROSLIN
WEEK 41 OF CYLON OCCUPATION
CW
"Laura, someone's on their way. They'll be here in no time and you'll be able to get going," Maya said as she grabbed Laura's robe and coat.
Isis whined and fussed from the middle of the mattress where Maya had set her down in a hurry.
During the first half hour that Maya was tracking Laura's condition she could already tell that it was probably time to get moving. The contractions had already been five minutes apart when she'd first begun clocking them. They'd soon decreased to three minutes apart and were lasting at least sixty seconds each and growing in intensity. There was no need to finish out the hour. It was time to go.
Maya had placed Isis down in the middle of Laura's mattress and then swiftly ran out to the tent across the way. A resistance member had greeted her. They told her to send Laura out once she heard the sound of four distinct clicks outside of the tent. Maya was confused, but they assured her that the signal would be clear. Once she heard the sound of five clicks it would then be time for her and Isis to go. They'd given her a message to pass to Laura and then told her to quickly leave. Maya had nodded in thanks and then ran back to Laura and Isis as fast as her feet would carry her.
"Go now," Laura urged as she reluctantly pulled her robe over her sweat-dampened shoulders. "Take Isis and go."
"We're not going anywhere until you're with your escort," Maya told her, deciding not to burden her with instructions of clicks and signals. "Gods, Laura, I wish you'd let me come with you," she said as she held out her coat.
"I want you with Isis," Laura insisted, putting her arm through one sleeve and then another. "It's too dangerous. Please."
"If that's what you-" Maya halted her reply as Laura suddenly doubled over and braced herself on the edge of the mattress holding her weight up with her forearms. As Laura endured the new wave of pain Maya scooped up Isis from the center of the bed and rocked her in her arms. The child seemed agitated as if she could sense the tension in the room. After about a minute Laura was able to stand upright again. "If that's what you really want," Maya finished.
"It is," Laura gritted as she attempted to reach her lower back and thumb at an aching pressure point.
"Listen, Laura, you're not going straight to the Colonel's okay?" Maya informed her as she hitched Isis's weight in her arms. "They wanted me to prepare you. You're going half way and then you'll stop in a secure location they've picked."
"What? Gods, I just want to get there already," Laura complained.
"I know. I know. It's all for safety. Listen, I don't know where they're bringing you but Meri will meet you there. She'll check you out, make sure things are okay for you to continue. You'll get back on your way with your escort. She'll leave separately and she'll meet you back at the Tighs," Maya explained.
"Frak," Laura nearly growled. "This is too much."
"Just walk and breathe. You don't need to remember anything. Walk and breathe and they'll tell you each step that's next."
"No, I mean the pain," Laura flinched. "It's getting…It's getting harder to talk through it."
Maya looked on sympathetically as she watched Laura breathing through a fresh wave of agonizing pressure. She wished she could do more for her.
Laura was beginning to realize the magnitude of just how powerful labor would become. She knew why it was meant for younger women. Each bout of anguish took so much energy to get through and the brief reprieves did nothing to restore strength, only serving to stop the pain from driving her utterly mad.
"It'll be okay, Laura. Isis and I love you. We'll be fine," Maya promised.
Finally, just as Maya had been told, four loud clicks sounded outside the tent flap.
"That's them," she told Laura. With Isis in one arm she braced Laura with the other as she slipped on her shoes. "Can you walk?" she tested.
"Yes."
Maya nodded and leaned in to embrace her.
"You can do this, Laura," she whispered, as her eyes became weepy. "I'll be praying for you and the baby."
Laura put her trembling hand to the top of Hera's head.
"Don't take your eyes off of her, Maya," she said before turning and making her way toward the tent flap.
"Deep breaths the whole way there," Maya reminded her as she watched her slip through the slit in the canvas into the moonlit night.
NEW CAPRICAN CYLON RESIDENTIAL BUILDING; RESIDENCE OF D'ANNA BIERS
WEEK 41 OF CYLON OCCUPATION
The air was filled with dust and debris again and it swirled around her in the wind as if all the bits and pieces were taunting her for her failures.
Walking the dirt path she squinted, trying to protect her eyes from tiny flying fragments.
The haze was thick but she could see where the sun was shining behind the gray white overcast.
Gone. Everyone was gone and she walked alone with nothing but the whistle of the wind in her ears. It felt no different than when she was surrounded by others, she thought as she walked. She'd always felt alone. Even among the other Threes. Her only comfort and companion was her God, her savior and now it seemed that even he had abandoned her.
D'Anna stopped in front of a large tent adorned with painted pagan symbols and colorful strands of beads. A red rope hung from a loop at the entrance blowing with the wind.
The Colonial's place of worship. Their temple to their false gods.
A strong breeze blew by rustling the canvas of the tent and taking on the aroma of incense, herbs and oils that she knew they used in rituals. She knew a bit about their practices but had never bothered to actually look inside, disgusted by the idolatry and convinced that even just entering would be a sin in the eyes of the Lord. .
As she stood there examining the tent's strange icons and markings she wondered where she would go next, what she would do now that everyone was gone. She wondered why she'd been left behind. Perhaps they'd all known as well as she did that she didn't belong. Perhaps they'd left her to spend the rest of her days living as singularly as she'd felt amongst her own family, even her own line. They could have boxed her, she considered. Perhaps they'd felt leaving her was the more merciful option. Boxed she'd be put away and left in limbo. At least this way, alone as she was with no resurrection ship nearby, she'd eventually die for good one day and perhaps her soul would reach God's kingdom in heaven. That was, if he too hadn't forsaken her.
As another gust blew by the temple the tent's flap puffed open enough for D'Anna to get a quick glimpse inside. What kind of heathen ceremonies had gone on in there before its patrons had deserted it, she wondered.
D'Anna supposed that without its parishioner's devotion breathing life and meaning into its walls the temple was now nothing but a hut filled with useless tat. Maybe there was no harm in looking in now.
She took a few steps forward before she stopped herself.
Why did she want to look in? Why should she care?
Judgment had gotten her nowhere. She didn't know where the Colonials' faith had taken them but she knew that hers had found her lost and alone.
She was about to turn away, about to walk back in the direction she'd come from and pray that something would come to her, something that would tell her why she should go on.
She bid good riddance to the tabernacle but before she could turn away she heard a noise that stopped her cold. A high pitched whine, a squalling little caw eminanting from inside the temple and being carried away with the wind.
A baby's cry, she realized.
Again.
D'Anna woke with a start, jolting upright in her bed.
Another damned dream.
It seemed she couldn't sleep any longer without her mind being plagued with eerie images and bewildering occurrences. She dreamt of things she couldn't decipher that left her with feelings and emotions she was loath to examine in her wakeful state. She'd taken to avoiding long stretches of sleep, instead opting to take short naps every few hours in the hopes that her mind wouldn't have time to conjure much up before she woke. It worked for a while but Cylon or not, it was beginning to catch up to her. She'd been unable to resist her bed after returning home from the detention center. She'd meant to only take a nap but she'd been so exhausted that she couldn't bring herself to set a wake time. She let herself drift off hoping she'd sleep deep enough not to dream, or at least that she'd wake up without remembering it.
D'Anna looked to her window. It was still the dead of night but the light of the moon beamed into her flat as if it were cast by a basestar bulb.
She pinched at the bridge of her nose and for a moment she allowed herself to think back to her dream.
The cry of a baby once again. She'd heard it several times now within her dreams. Sometimes one, sometimes two. She considered for a moment if she'd ever really heard a human baby cry in person before. She must have, she thought, but she couldn't recall. In the dream it was so clear.
Shaking the thought from her head D'Anna swung her legs off of her bed and made her way to the window. The planet's moon appeared heavy and gravid within the barren starless sky, so full it was as if it were ready to burst, spilling liquid light down upon the sad little city.
From her third floor living quarters D'Anna had a view of the cylon ground transportation facility. She could see the lights of trucks and tanks blinking off and on as centurions worked overnight to service and refuel them.
She wasn't alone, she told herself.
She was surprised when it actually made her feel a sense of comfort.
D'Anna sighed as she glanced back at her bed, the moon's light illuminating its crisp white sheets. It should have looked inviting, but she couldn't think of anywhere she wanted to be less.
She dressed as quickly as she could and grabbed her trench coat, leaving her bed and dreams behind the apartment door.
NEW CAPRICAN COLONIAL TENT CITY;
TEMPLE OF THE GODS PRAYER TENT
WEEK 41 OF CYLON OCCUPATION
CW
The escort had taken Laura to the Temple tent. Had she been less preoccupied with walking through each round of anguish she would have guessed where they'd been headed. It was the least likely place to have cylons or police lurking about.
No sooner had she walked through the temple tent flap than was she in Meri's waiting embrace.
"I've got you. Deep breaths, love," the midwife spoke softly into her ear as she held onto her.
Laura's knees buckled at that moment and she was surprised that the sturdy woman had no trouble bracing her all on her own.
"Ma'am?" a voice came from behind Meri's shoulder.
Laura looked up, her arms still braced around the other woman's neck. A few paces behind them stood Tory, wearing a forced and very nervous smile.
"I mean, Laura." Tory corrected. "I'm here to take you the rest of the way just as soon as Ms. Brigid says it's okay."
"It's just Meri, dear," the midwife reminded Tory without turning from her hold on Laura.
"Yes, Ma'am," Tory automatically replied, far too on edge to remember to drop formalities.
"Thank you, Tory," Laura told her, sincerely grateful to see her in that moment, as uneasy as she looked to be there.
"Of course," Tory replied with a nod.
"Meri, listen, I-" Laura began, but found herself unable to continue as another wave of pain struck her. Her hold on the other woman became even tighter. Somewhere in the depths of her rational mind she told herself to let go, that she shouldn't be clinging to a person she hardly knew for dear life, but she couldn't stop herself. Her body just seemed to be instinctively gripping and clutching on to whatever it could as if she were desperately grasping for floating debris in the middle of a storm at sea.
"Breathe through it," Meri softly and gently instructed. "In deep then let it go. Almost done. Breathe in and out. Almost over."
"I'm sorry," Laura gasped once she was able to speak again.
"No need to be sorry, dear. This is why I'm here."
"I don't think I'm cut out for this. This is…this is more than I ever imagined. I can't-"
"Ah, but you are," Meri cut her off with a smile as she leaned back from their embrace. She took Laura by the wrist, putting her other hand to the small of her back. She then began to guide her toward an area on the floor that she'd made up with cushions and towels. "And not only are you getting through it, you've managed to walk all the way here discreetly in the dark in the middle of it. How many women do you think could do that?"
"Gods," Laura groaned, stopping in her tracks. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose," Meri told her, embracing her for support once again.
Tory frantically scanned her surroundings searching for something to hand them in case Laura did in fact become ill. All she found was a bowl filled with dried berries; a temple offering that had probably already been blessed by a Hellenic priestess or oracle. She couldn't, she thought to herself. She wasn't that religious but it seemed like a one way ticket to Hades. As Laura's moaning suddenly increased in volume Tory looked over to witness all of the color draining from her face. Throwing out all consideration of sanctity, Tory grabbed the bowl and dumped the holy berries to the temple floor. She rushed toward Laura just in time to hold it under her chin as she gagged over Meri's shoulder.
"It's a natural pain response," the unbothered midwife said in a low soothing tone as she stroked Laura's back and ran her fingers through her hair. "I'll give you something for that in just a second. It'll help. Let's get you settled, see what's going on, then we'll get you on your way."
Mortified, Laura nodded into the woman's neck.
Tory backed up, taking the bowl away with caution.
Once Laura had composed herself enough Meri was able to help her make it to the spot she'd prepared for her. With deliberate gentle patience she helped Laura off with her coat, robe and underwear, then had her lay down upon the towels and cushions. Once Laura was in position Meri began to tenderly narrate every step of the exam. It was just as painful as when Cottle had checked her progress hours before, maybe more so, but somehow Meri's temperate recitations made it more bearable from the moment she pulled on her gloves to the point where she finally withdrew her hand.
"You're halfway there. Perfect. You're a good student, Laura. This is exactly what we wanted. You listened to all the signs and signals and you got here right when you were supposed to. You're doing great."
"Half? This can't be what it feels like to only be halfway. I can't get through another nine hours of this."
"Dilating from five to ten is usually far faster than the first half. Put this under your tongue," Meri said, putting a tablet to Laura's parted lips. "Let it dissolve," she instructed.
Reaching into her pocket she pulled out her trusty fetoscope. Putting one end of the little horn to Laura's belly she leaned down to place her ear at the other end. She listened in one spot and then another and then another.
Laura's stomach continued to churn as the bitter medicine melted in her mouth. Half way, she internally commiserated. Half way didn't even mean half way done. It meant half way until she was able to start the next grueling phase. How could she possibly make it through that? Who could say how long it would take? What if she'd already lost him? What if the lie they planned to tell everyone became the truth? She began to panic as Meri listened for his heartbeat. To have to deliver him knowing he was already gone; she didn't think that she'd be able to bear it. The thought of it was more tortuous than anything she felt physically. When she'd lost her family she'd suffered a true nervous breakdown. How could she survive losing her child? She wondered if it were possible to actually die of a broken heart, to literally drop dead from grief.
"Perfect," Meri declared, returning upright.
Laura let out a sharp gasp of relief as the air she'd been holding in her lungs was finally released. Tears began to freely stream down her cheeks as she struggled to catch her breath. Meri patted her on the knee in quiet reassurance. "He's doing fine, love. Just like his mama."
"Tory?" the midwife called, turning to find the nervous young woman biting her nails.
Doc Cottle had said he was sending Laura's aide; a tough no nonsense go getter. At the moment she looked more like a frightened teenager, but Meri wasn't exactly surprised. She'd seen big brawny stolid men reduced to useless wrecks in the face of childbirth.
"Uh. Yes, Ms. Brigid, uh Meri, Ma'am," Tory promptly stammered to answer.
"She's probably not going to make it there in one shot the way she did here. When she has to stop you try and support her as best as you can. Take a wide stance and plant your feet to the ground if she needs to hold on to you. Walk between contractions if you have to. Your security is there to keep their eyes open. You take care of her."
"Okay." Tory replied with a short nod.
"Good," Meri replied. "And if her water breaks-"
"What?" Tory unintentionally exclaimed.
"Just keep walking, dear. No big deal. Okay? Just remember to tell me when you get there if she's unable to."
"Uh. Yeah. Yeah, okay," Tory distractedly agreed, looking past her to see Laura toiling against a stroke of pain that she could only imagine.
With the exam done it was time to go.
"Laura, I'll see you there," Meri said as she and Tory helped the laboring mother to her feet. They assisted her with her shoes and underwear and got her back into her coat. "No need to wake Sherman quite yet. You were at five centimeters just now. We'll see where we are once you're settled in and then maybe we'll send someone to get his grumpy old hide out of bed."
Tory clicked the device in her pocket four times, signaling to their escort that they were ready to leave. Outside he responded with two clicks of his own.
"Blessings, ladies," Meri bid them. "May the Gods be with you. It's a bright full moon. Let Luna be your guide."
NEW CAPRICAN TENT CITY
WEEK 41 OF CYLON OCCUPATION
Caprica walked swiftly through the tent city breathing the brisk night air. The sky was clear and the full moon shone brilliantly down upon the encampment casting it in a silver blue glow. Caprica glanced up at the gleaming satellite, almost mesmerized. It was nearly bright enough to cause her to squint if she gazed for too long. For a moment she mused that it seemed to be telling her something, but as she continued on her way she admonished herself for idolizing the orbiting rock. It was just another beautiful creation of God and she told herself to give thanks to him for its presence.
Caprica had no plan. When she'd left she'd quietly donned a cape and a pair of thin gloves, telling herself that she wouldn't be out long, that she was wrong and that she was making a fuss in her own mind out of nothing. Even so she'd continued on as if she were being pulled forward by the spell of the moonlight. A cylon guard had asked where she was headed as she exited Gaius's ship. A Five she had no trouble lying to. She'd told him she needed air and would be back shortly.
Everyone who worked on the Colonial president's ship was becoming used to her increasingly common fights with Gaius and it was hardly unusual for her to leave late at night to clear her head or to go sleep in her own quarters that had been assigned to her in the cylon housing building. Just as they were used to her leaving they were used to her returning the next morning hopeful that things would be different.
They never were.
She didn't know where she should go first. The Colonial clinic was her first thought but she didn't want to be seen. Roslin's tent was the next logical choice. Perhaps she'd go there first to see if there was any noticeable activity.
Caprica trekked through the dirt paths avoiding the unfinished wooden walkways that made noise with every footfall. She'd come to know the way to Roslin's tent quite well and her feet innately carried her the way as her eyes remained cast toward the moon. She walked at a steady pace until suddenly she heard something out of the ordinary.
Caprica froze for a moment trying to determine where the noise had come from. The camp was otherwise quiet, well past curfew. Only the hum of the generators and electrical grid served as a constant buzz throughout the city. She heard the noise again and before she could discern the direction it had come from she dipped behind a tall stack of discarded lumber. She didn't want to be noticed. Not by cylons and not by humans. It was probably just someone heading to or from the latrines, she reasoned. She waited a moment with baited breath before she distinctly heard the sounds again; women's voices. At least two.
Peering out from behind her cover she saw nothing but heard the definite sound of approaching footsteps. She leaned further back behind the wood making sure she couldn't be seen but that she had a view of the dirt road. She stayed in place as both the voices and the footsteps grew louder. As long as they continued in her direction she'd soon be able to see them without having to venture further from her cover.
"Stop. She needs a break," a voice said just before someone came into view.
Caprica watched a man dressed in dark clothing stop in his tracks and turn back to face the direction he'd just come from.
"We're almost there," the man said to whomever was beyond her view.
Caprica could hear some muffled sounds coming from the direction he was looking in.
"Just give her a second," a woman's voice argued in a low firm tenor.
The man seemed frustrated but stopped in place and began to strategically look in all directions. His efforts seemed precise and practiced and Caprica decided that he had to be Colonial ex-military. Her breath caught in her throat as he looked her way but he moved on, repeating his surveillance without seeing her.
"We should go," the man's voice urged in a harsh whisper.
Caprica listened for a response but instead heard what sounded like a muffled gasp and then a low groan.
"She can't," one woman's voice argued back.
The man seemed to hesitate a moment before heading toward whomever he was speaking to.
Caprica bit her lip and waited. There was some muttering that she couldn't make out before the man began to count.
"Ready? One, two, three," he said, followed by a short grunt and another distinct gasp from one of the women. "I've got her. Let's go," he spoke again, his voice now slightly strained.
Caprica clenched her fists as the party finally came into view. A dark haired woman was now in the lead followed by the military man holding someone in his arms. Caprica leaned out just a fraction of an inch more to get a better view and as she did she saw the moon beaming down onto the auburn hair of the distressed woman he held.
Roslin.
Caprica knew it in an instant. The baby was coming. It had to be. She was right. She'd known it all along. It was early. Not too early, but earlier than the expected due date.
An irrational surge of excitement filled Caprica's chest before worry and concern began to quickly take over. The clinic was in the opposite direction. Where were they headed?
She'd seen them.
What if another cylon did too?
This chapter was split into two. The second part has become chapter 13 which should be posted shortly ( I hope).
As always feedback is encouraged for this or any other content you consume by any author.
Happy Holidays!
LLA