I had a good couple rest days at least, but it's still a slog to go back to class. I take a seat with Ace and Deuce, Grim plopping beside me. "Morning."

"Ah, how's the head wound?" Ace asks, snickering.

"Eat me, Ace." I grumble. I feel pretty garbage.

Deuce frowns a little. "You're still a little rough… do you want to go back to the infirmary?"

"Nope. I want to grumble and have people treat me nice." I say very firmly, because honestly I want some sympathy and nice words right now.

Grim scoffs. "It's not… that bad…" Oh, he's feeling a LITTLE guilty too. Aw. That's a step in the right direction for making Grim a proper, functioning member of human society. I just had to get ibashed in the head/i.

At least Crewel's lecturing us today… I put my head down on the desk…

And the next time I look up, class is over. Grim's shaking me. "Get up!"

"Sorry—sorry!" I sigh, getting my books. I'm shuffling around to get ready to go. "Are we late yet?"

"No, but you MISSED it No!" Grim's so excited, as we rush off to our next problem of the day: History.

"What did I miss?" Drama?

"Deuce got called out by that monster player!" I'm a little confused, Grim.

"Elaborate?"

"Okay! So while YOU were the one sleeping, Deuce got called out at the end of class by the Housewarden of Diasomnia! That scary Malleus guy! I didn't get a look at him 'cause I had to stay HERE with YOU! But what could he have wanted with Deuce?!"

I frown, because there are a LOT of bad rumors. "I hope he's okay…"

We meet up for history with Ace, sliding in right before the bell goes off, but Deuce isn't there.

"Nice for you to wake up, No." Ace is a little snide.

"Yeah, I missed the excitement." I sigh.

"Yeah, and Crewel didn't even get onto you, either! It's bullshit! I doze off and WHAM! But what, when did you become a teacher's pet?" He's jealous.

"Who took a disc to the head?" I counter.

Ace groans. "Sure, sure, whatever. But… Deuce is now officially late." The bell rings. Yep.

Trein begins his lecture, and at least I'm with it enough to take some notes…

I'm a little worried—but at least Deuce does arrive. And he's… dazed. He's dazed, and staring blankly at a large rock in his arms.

He takes his seat, and hasn't even noticed that Trein's stopped lecturing and is giving him the worst iwhat is wrong with you/i disappointed professor look. I can't believe how out of it he is to completely ignore that! What EVEN! I gently reach over and poke him. "Deuce." I whisper.

But he's staring at the rock in his hands in disbelief. Uh.

"Spade." Trein's voice, oof. "Spade. Excuse me."

Nope, he is in outer space.

"DEUCE SPADE." Oh wow that's a FULL name. Someone is royally fucked today. Rest in peace friend. I have enjoyed our time together.

"Huh…?" Deuce looks so dumbfounded, too. My gosh.

"Why did you arrive so late—and what—is… is that… from the Valley of Thorns?" Now the professor is intrigued as he approaches.

"Uh… y-yeah… Yeah." The half of the brain cell that was in his head has currently vacated.

"How—could-how did you acquire such a rare and valuable ore, Spade? Especially such a large piece?" He is asking the questions, the right questions.

"I… um… I got it from… Uh… Housewarden Draconia." He's looking between the professor and the ore.

Trein pauses a moment. "...And that is why you are late… to my class."

"...O-oh! I'm—I'm sorry!" Deuce now has a face full of panic and fear.

But the entire class is lost too, there's whispering everywhere. I don't really know anything about the Housewarden of Diasomnia. I've never seen the guy, and the descriptions of him are… fantastical. Honestly. He's apparently eight feet tall and shoots lightning at anyone that displeases him which tells me it's a lot of bullshit because I would've seen someone eight feet tall by now! So…

Trein sighs. He shakes his head at all of us. "Your homework are pages sixty-six to eighty-five. I also want a short summary handwritten by each of you over those pages—one page. Front only. You are all dismissed." A man that knows he's lost the battle has sent us off.

We got off easy.

Deuce is up with the ore and his things, still looking pretty bewildered. Of course, the group of us are together as we exit class.

"You need to spill." Ace starts.

"Yeah—what really happened? Why would you get a rock? It doesn't even smell tasty!" Grim. Why.

There's a serious look on Deuce's face. "It's an agreement between men."

I.

What.

"Oh come on!" Ace bemoans.

I'm not pressing further into it. Something happened with the school's mythical figure and he has a big rock out of it. Sounds like a trade. Whatever it was, it's… odd.

"Well, how about we go drop that off at your dorm?" I suggest. "We have time now getting out early, and I doubt you want to haul that around all day."

"Oh! Yeah. You're right. Actually… that's a good suggestion." He looks pretty relieved, too, as we take off to go put it up.

"Well, at least we never have a boring day here, right?"

I regret talking about how it's never a boring day when I get stopped by none other than the Headmaster.

"No Wei! Grim! Just who I was looking for!" Uh oh.

I pause, and frown as I look at the approaching headmaster. I just got a major head injury, can I live without this headache too? "Yes, Headmaster?"

"Ugh! What does HE want?" We were on our way to go pick up something to cook for dinner, so of course Grim is grouchy.

"I have an assignment for the both of you! You did miss club sign-ups due to your injuries, but it's imperative you two join a club, but I had not seen your application…"

"I was told they were optional." I reply easily.

"—and I am so kind to have signed you both up to be writers for NRC Campus News!" Fuck me there Crow man goes again.

"What?" I ask, just. Why.

"You will be assigned various people and assignments to take photos and write articles or conduct interviews throughout the school year! Is it not wonderful? It is a golden opportunity to meet your fellow classmates and school members! And when the seniors return in February, you'll even meet some of your much more experienced upper class-men!" He's so excited, too. I do not appreciate being forced into something else.

"...Uh-huh." I know I look displeased. "So you signed us up without even asking. Even after having a head injury at a school-sponsored function."

"Precisely." He is all smiles too. The masked man also just ignored me.

"And what assignments are these supposed to be?" I need some more info.

"Well, the upcoming infamous Camp Vargas!" What the fuck is this man on about. "I am so kind—and Coach Vargas is happy to have a member of the Campus News record the sports clubs efforts this year!"

"SO basically I'll get assignments without notice, and have to participate and work on an article… what am I even supposed to write with?"

"Oh, yes! About that!" And in his hand is a… a couple boxes. Computer equipment. I. What. Why. WHERE?

"...Uh…" I am… at a loss.

"Yes, you will need this pre-loaded laptop and printer for your articles. I request a printed copy to review myself, but you can of course email your finished work to the editor—all of the information is already pre-programmed, and I had Internet installed in Ramshackle today as I am quite generous." Headmaster Asshole informs us.

I. I have big boxes in my arms now. Uh.

I don't even have a cellphone here.

"And—I have your proper school Ids!" He puts an envelope on top. "I suppose you'll have to carry both of them, as Grim does not come with pockets."

"...Okay…" What the actual fuck.

"You will need to come to my office if the information is incorrect." He is far too cheery.

"… … ...Do the news reports count as weekly reports?" I would like less visits to him.

"Of course! Now, remember, next weekend is Camp Vargas. I need you to report at the Mirror of Darkness first thing in the morning on Friday, of course. Which means I will need your weekly report on Thursday, instead." He's far too—no. NO... WAIT.

"Only if I get to use proper plumbing and bathing facilities." I respond. "There's no way I am roughing it. No."

He pauses, giving me a curious look. "You'll have access to the cabin! It will take place at the Dwarfs' Mine, which I am aware you are quite familiar, No Wei, Grim…"

That place was a mess. I'll probably have to clean that too—but as long as that stuff works, who even cares?

"Fine." I sigh. "Besides random assignments, what do I have to do?" I need more info.

"Yes, of course—birthdays! There is a tradition you have already seen, the Birthday Boy Outfits! Each student dresses up and has an interview by an NRC Campus News member for their birthday. You'll be emailed your list of questions and person—along with the time and date. But you will need to submit those articles that night. However, the tasks such as Camp Vargas will be due the next Friday at 11:59 PM." This is very informative but I still hate it.

"Lame!" Grim calls it like he sees it.

"Okay. Got it." Sigh. What a mess. "Does this also count as an elective credit?"

"Of course, and you are required a certain number of them to graduate." I figured, but the late information annoys me.

"Okay. Well. I clearly have things to do now Headmaster. Have a nice night!" I am so annoyed right now, too…

"Why is it every time we meet him, something sucky happens?!" Grim. SHHH. But he's right.

We're off, before we hear anything else. It's a daring escape, but I'm starving and now I have more on my plate besides Prefect duties and dorm affairs. My gosh—plus, so far we've had the disaster of the week every week! Ain't no rest for the wicked and EVERYTHING!

I'm not surprised at all that I have an email of an urgent birthday interview when I finally get this set up. I'm also hella frustrated that it's in an hour from this exact time and it's all the way at Pomefiore. This. This…

"Do you need me to come?" Grim asks.

"No—I'll take this one—just make sure to study if Ace and Deuce stop by." Because they do a lot, if we're not over there. But that's… uh.

Anyway, I've got the printed sheets, a notebook for notes, and I'm headed off like the wind—sliding into Pomefiore at the speed of light five minutes before I need to be there only because I cartwheeled down a hill like a maniac. It is a lot faster. Dodge-rolls are faster in vidoe games for a reason and I get it now.

But I see the birthday boy. I have no idea—ah. Okay. So his name is Fancy Hopenmeister and that can't—that's a real name. That's actually a real name. This is stupid. Why did I have to end up in a magical world that's basically a clown school for clowns or something like that? This is ridiculous—and this is my least favorite dorm too. These people boggle my mind.

UGH and the worst person is here too! Okay, no. Vil Schoenheit and Leona Kingscholar are basically neck-and-neck competing for my shitlist.

I of course put on a smile as I approach. "Pardon me—Fancy?" I'm very polite.

"Ah? And what riff-raff are YOU?" That's so nice…

"Happy Birthday! I'm with the NRC Campus News to interview you for a birthday feature article! Do you have a few minutes to answer some questions and take a photo?" I hate this.

"Oh? You're the interviewer? Ah, well… of course! It is my obligation to be my best and present my best to the entire school!" He flops down on a couch, and I take a seat across from him in the lounge.

And what proceeds is the most mind-numbing twenty minutes of a Q and A of my entire life.

This guy is rich, and boring.

I want to die a little.

A lot.

Someone slay me… PLEASE.

But it's over, and with a last note of the fancy drivel he's said I am done. The ink is dry on the paper and I put everything together so I can go and type this out immediately before wanting to erase my brain of this mind-numbing bullshit. I hate everything, and I am so, so tired. My head's still throbbing too—I'm pretty sure it hurts worse than getting the disc slammed into my head. PRETTY sure.

"—thank you so much for your time, and again, Happy Birthday!" I stand up, giving his hand a gentle shake.

"Yes! I look forward to that dazzling picture and article!" And he laughs like an old-school anime villainous. I. Can't. Even.

But I bee-line it out of there but of course who else but the worst of the worst is in my way—with that creepy bowl-cut hat-bathroom-guy! Rook… Rook Hunt. He's so weird, too. Is Pomefiore the weirdo dorm?

"...Pardon me…?" Why are they in my way.

"And why would you show up to my dorm in such shabby attire?!" It's Vil Schoenheit. School primadonna. Annoying thorn in my side. Great.

"…" I point to the pin that denotes me as a member of the paper. "All complaints to my club functions must be taken up with Headmaster Crowley. I apologize for the inconvenience." I should work in customer service because I am becoming a pro at dealing with Vil Karen here.

That's mean, he's… probably… the KING OF KARENS.

I'm too tired for this. In all honesty I feel so out of it and absolutely ridiculous. This is stupid. All of this is stupid.

I get an immediate scowl from Vil. Good. Get wrinkles.

Though, the opposite—is the mask of comedy, with that weird smile… He leans forward a little. "So, the Trickster No will be here fairly often, non?" Is that accent supposed to be French?

"...As assigned… again, all complaints must go to the Headmaster. Now if you will excuse me, I must complete this article." Including the picture I just took with the ghost camera. It looks pretty good.

"No Wei." I do not appreciate when someone like Vil uses the full joke-name I am stuck with… forever here… huh.

"Yes?" I was trying to take a step but look at who impedes me.

"I expect you to dress in your Dorm Uniform when you visit for these interviews." Who the fuck is he to give me a dress code?

I blink at him, wide-eyed. Because. "...Ramshackle does not have a dorm uniform…" I reply very matter-of-fact.

He looks so disgusted. "Every time I turn around every action you make is such an affront to the traditions of this school!" Wow.

I take in a breath, and I let it out. "I'd again take that up with the Headmaster. Apologies, but I MUST write this article." And I spin around the two of them and run off.

"—I wasn't done!" I hear Vil.

I hope he grays early.

Ace and Deuce brought Trey with them! I'm pretty surprised to see the study session underway when I enter—but we do have a quiz soon… Maybe someone wrangled him into helping? That's nice and all, too, because let's face it—they need help.

If it weren't for Grim I'd have excellent grades, but they're average with his efforts. It kills my soul. A lot. I was a straight-A student once upon a time and now I'm average.

Welp.

They all look up at me as I enter.

"Oh! Good, you're just in time for studying~" Ace laughs a little. Now I understand who arranged this.

Deuce nods. "It's been a lot of help…"

"Fyah… I hate studying…" Grim grumbles.

I go snag the charging laptop. "Yeah—I'll listen in; I need to write this article by midnight." Or something. I think. I don't have many hours.

"Oh…? When did you join the Campus News?" Trey asks, curious.

"Ugh! Don't remind us! Crowley came and just said we had to!" Grim's pouting too.

"Yeah." I finish, lamely.

"Hm… No, how about tomorrow morning we do a quick review before your test?" Trey offers. "I know the paper is pretty stringent on their deadlines."

"Thanks!" I go off to the dining room—I can hear them fine there, but I can also click-clack away.

I'm glad the template is pre-loaded, and the printer has a scanner combo—so I get the photo in, resize, arrange, and write the special feature article as assigned. It's honestly not a bad task, and once I get a system going (if the questions are always the same or similar), this won't take too much of my time. And, honestly? I'm perfectly happy with that… or at least happy enough.

But, at the end of the day, I just… have another thing added to my plate. After I email the thing off, I've got my assignment for Camp Vargas to review and set up—and then I have the budgeting and reports for the dorm expenses. I have instructions for the router, and stuff. Which isn't a type of tech I'm familiar with—this stuff IS similar, but I'm definitely… it's…

It's just not right. Okay? It's weird. Stuff is weird. I've got a lot to get used to here.

But at least a computer is a computer, a phone is a phone, and a word processing program is just a little backwards but comes with tutorials.

Maybe I can type my assignments for Trein on this from now on… it'd be faster.

But that leaves me a big question: the FUCK is Camp Vargas?!