"My, my, you've done such a wonderful job! Thank you so much for your help." I do not trust that almost-sultry voice of the one and only Azul Ashengrotto.

"Azul!" Jack bristles in anger.

"My sincerest apologies in making you wait, No Wei. Please, come with me. The VIP Lounge is now ready for you. Right this way." Sweet-talking Mafia Don.

"Sure, Tony Soprano." My jokes are wasted in Twisted Wonderland.

"Jade, Floyd, if you would please bring tea for our guests…" And we follow the Devil into Hell. Unfortunately.

"It would be our pleasure." And now we have the creepy Kubrik twin unision. Fuck. This. No.

We're lead to a room in the back. I don't necessarily appreciate this closed-room setting. It's a table, with two, beautiful and comfy couches with a large table between. I take a seat, and look around to see the beautifully decorated walls with shelves and I swear those are actually tanks of coral underneath. It's purple and blue, and the floor is some sort of rare wood, I guess—perfectly maintained. Sure, the walls are book shelves, and there's a large, ostentatious vault that screams isteal from me/i on the side opposite from the door.

Interesting.

Jack's pretty impressed. "Where are we…? How can this still be at school…? That safe's just like a bank..."

Because we've got Ocean Don here.

"Now, now, please, take a seat. No need to stand around." He's got this supposedly soothing voice. I'm admittedly a little charmed but I know he's the Devil in disguise and I'm not happy about needing to make a possible deal with him.

I take a seat, and let out a breath. Okay, this is a really nice couch.

"Now then, No Wei, what are you here to discuss with me?" Azul. Really.

"Look, I wasn't born last night and we both know you set this up so I'd be here because you want something. So what IS it that you want? We both know I want this head-tentacle thing to be done and over with, and you probably wouldn't make a deal with Grim in the first place UNLESS you were trying to lure me. I'd really appreciate if you'd cut the bullshit now. I'm tired." Oh, I'm definite over and done.

He lets out such a hearty laugh! "All of that makes me sound like a criminal mastermind, No Wei!"

"You definitely are." I reply.

"So, you're trying to bargain for all two hundred and twenty-five students who have a contract with me?" He doesn't specify which contract either, so I suspect he's only referring to the current anemones.

"You targeted two hundred and twenty five?!" Jack exclaims in shock.

Checks out in my opinion.

"My associates, Jade and Floyd, did their best to improve business this year." Azul isn't sound less like a crime lord. "It is thanks to their efforts that we were able to obtain so many. Now, No Wei, what do you think I would want for their freedom?"

"Depends on the context." Hentai dream or nah.

"As you realize, I am not forcing them into this unfairly." He continues. "They were the ones that agreed to the terms and conditions when they signed. It's not something one breaks out of sympathy."

"If you could get to your point of what you actually want from me, Azul, that'd be fabulous." Oh! There's tea. Well, I drink that while I wait for him to hurry the fuck up—offering a soft thanks to whoever set that down.

"You are too late, No Wei." Azul continues… on… and on…

"What's the deal you want? Again, really tired of the drama quota we have at Night Raven College." That is kind of what it is. A drama quota.

"—Are you crazy!? Don't make a deal with him, No!" Jack warns me, he's clearly panicked and upset. He's really great.

"Oh~? So you want to make a deal?" Azul. Azul Drama Queen Ashengrotto let's get to the fucking point already. "What an interesting offer…" I didn't offer.

"OO, oo~" Floyd cuts in. "Lil' shrimpy's so, so brave!" Fuck off.

"Hm… yes… you'd like to make a deal with me." Azul, please, I plead to God, get to the fucking point. "However we have a wee bit of a problem here: you have no magic to offer me."

"You wouldn't want that anyway." I retort.

"You don't have a beautiful voice." Fact check false my singing voice is gorgeous. "—and you're not an heir to anything at all—an orphan, I recall? How… how utterly tragic. You, yourself, have nothing of value to offer me—a simple human."

"You wouldn't be putting on the show if that was the case." I put a hand to my cheek, I am very over the production.

Is he doing this to entertain himself? Or is it Floyd and Jade? Or… who fucking knows, a hidden camera?

"If you wish for such a grand request, you must offer something of equal value in return." Azul continues.

"Collateral…?" Jack questions.

"Ah, for example: the ownership of Ramshackle Dorm." Azul finally makes his point.

Ah. I get how this worked out. He went to Crowley over it and probably tried to wrangle him, but was pushed off because I live there. Our useless Headmaster claimed that I owned it, and that he'd have to bargain me for it. Now I know how this bullshit started, at least, but that doesn't help me solve the problem at hand: it's utter bullshit and like fuck I actually own it.

Jack lets out the dramatic gasp at the reveal: "That's clearly what you were after from the start!" Good Jack. Best friend.

And that's when the door bursts open and Grim comes barreling in. "GOOD! GET RID OF IT!"

"...Grim…" I start. But he continues.

"I can't do this anymore! Look at this fur, does it look like it's made for washing dishes to you!?" He looks wet.

"Grim, Grim, you know better than to skip out on work and eavesdrop on others' conversations…" Jade sternly scolds the wayward cat demon. "Floyd, remove him."

"Yes!" Floyd says excitedly.

"Now, now, wait—No, you should listen to your dorm mate. They're the only one you have." Azul, listening to Grim is always the worst decision. "What do you say, will you put the Ramshackle Dorm as collateral for our deal?"

"And what are you putting up?" This has to be a two-way street.

"No—Save me! Please!" Grim pleads.

"You can't, No! We both know this isn't going to work out. This is Azul!" Jack warns.

"What are the conditions?" I ask.

"No!"

"—the conditions are simple. In three days I want you to steal a picture that hangs in the Atlantica Memorial Museum that is located in the depths of the Coral Sea.

"You want us to steal a priceless work of art?!" Aw, he said us. Jack…

"Can't. Impossibility. I don't have gills." I retort easily.

There's a strange sound from Jade Leech, I shift to look over at his… shocked expression? So it's… important?

"No. I want you to steal a commemorative photo of Prince Rielle's visit. It took place ten years ago."

"A prince's photo…?"

"It's displayed near the entrance and holds no actual historical value.

"But you think it's important." I reply.

"There isn't a soul that would be concerned or notice its disappearance." Mmm, that sounds really fake, Azul.

"Why do you want that?" Grim asks. He's not part of these negotiations.

"It wouldn't be worth it if it wasn't challenging, would it?" Azul replies, pressing his glasses up. "Not to me, at least. I am not a charity service."

So much for the Sea Witch's sprit of benevolence, huh?

"The Atlantic Memorial Museum in the Coral Sea is an infamous tourist attraction." Jade explains. "Things displayed there are a piece of an infamous King's silver hair, and an infamous mermaid princess's fork. We're not asking you to go to the deepest depths of the ocean."

Floyd cuts in. "Ah~ It was nice—we went there once for an elementary school field trip."

"The Coral Sea—that entire kingdom is underwater." Jack cuts in. "We can't survive under water like that."

See, we both pay attention in history class. Trein sould give us extra credit.

"Despite being so great, I can't even breathe underwater!" Grim. You're getting on my nerves. Ahhhh…

"Normally, I would say that is something for you to figure out—but as I am benevolent, I will give you potions that will grant you the ability to breathe underwater and increase your stamina. I have also secured Headmaster Crowley's permission for you to travel there freely for the three days." Azul continues. He's very confident I'll take the deal.

He sets gorgeous, glowing shell bottles of a bright green liquid on the table.

"I am following in the Great Sea Witch's footsteps—she gave the mermaid princess legs to walk on land to be with her lover—and I will grant you gills to swim for your goals." Azul must have a drama quota. "I have a heart of gold…" Not with that laugh. "So, will you make a deal and sign a contract with me? I am a very busy person and I haven't got all day—so go ahead! Make your choice!"

Azul places a large, thick golden contract and pen before me. Oh. Oh fuck no.

I pick it up, and look through some of the pages; ignoring him as I go through the terms and conditions that include my servitude until graduation in case of failure and a lot of other high-tier caveates that I don't agree to.

"No." I say simply. "Not this piece of shit contract." And I toss it right to the floor.

Azul, and pretty much everyone looks—fairly shocked.

"Excuse me?" He asks.

"I want a fresh document, with two copies, written here and now." I stubbornly sit back and cross my arms. "And we're going to make this equal."

"Oh…? Jade—if you would?"

Fresh golden paper appears, and sets before us. Two sets. Azul takes a pen. "Then, how shall we lay this out?"

"It'll read like this." I think a minute, clear my throat, and start:

"I, No Wei, the contractee, and I Azul Ashengrotto, the contractor, agree to contract to the terms stated below:

In exchange for No Wei, the contractee, retrieving the commemorative photo at the Atlantica Museum in the Coral Sea from ten years ago celebrating Prince Rielle's visit in exchange for Azul Ashengrotto's release of all students of Night Raven College that contracted with Azul Ashengrotto, the contractor, for notes pertianing to any and all Night Raven College exams made this school year.

In case of No Wei's success, I, Azul Ashengrotto, shall give up ten percent of the Monstro Lounge's gross profits to fund the Ramshackle Dorm's upkeep and repair and any or all of No Wei's necessary schooling expenses as the collateral of this agreement.

In case of No Wei's failure, I, No Wei, agree to give up the ownership to Ramshackle Dorm to Azul Ashengrotto and work for the Monstro Lounge in a manner that does not effect No Wei's academic performance until graduation.

Breach of this agreement includes failure of No Wei to retrieve the photo and deliver it to Azul Ashengrotto by the time the sun fully sets on the third day. Breach of this agreement also includes direct interference from Azul Ashengrotto to prevent No Wei from completing any and all terms of the agreement and failure to supply necessary underwather breathing potions to No Wei and others for travel to the Museum mentioned above in this document.

It is also a breach of this agreement to attempt to remove a copy of this contract that is considering executed at the same time and to also be an original that will be placed safely in Headmaster Crowley's possession, a neutral party, without interference from any party listed in said agreement or under any connection of either party. Both copies of this contract must be destroyed to be rendered void.

A breach will also constitute of additional terms and conditions to this agreement.

This agreement will remain in effect until the date of No Wei's graduation from Night Raven College.

The contract goes into effect upon the last signture below of the contractor and contractee." I finish.

I look over the freshly inked document, giving a hum as I thoroughly read, and check the back. There's a stunned silence between everyone. Good.

I don't know how to interpret Azul's expression… but… I don't like it.

"Acceptable, Azul?" I ask.

He's got such a smile. "Yes, No Wei."

We both sign each document.

What an arrogant, haughty look is on Azul's face. "—that completes our agreement, No Wei. A pleasure doing business with you. Your task is to deliver the photo to me by the end of sunset on the third day…" I'm ignoring the rest of whatever he's saying.

"Jade, Floyd, kindly escort our guests out—I look forward to the conclusion of this agreement." Pride goeth before the fall, fuckface.

I've got the potions offered in my bag. Hm, why so many, I wonder…

Jack doesn't say anything, but he walks with me with the twins on our tail. I feel like absolute garbage now. Everything is really starting to hurt and I can't even place why. I'm getting such a concerned look as I open Ramshackle, and finally step inside. I need rest. He leaves us at the gate silently, and displeased. It's fine. "Have a safe trip." I wave him off.

"Oh! So this is the esteemed Ramshackle Dorm! What an improvement… it is my first time coming here, how nice you've cleaned it up, No Wei." I'm wondering why Jade came in. "And how close it is to the school! A perfect place for Monstro Lounge's second location!

I think.

I forgot something.

Fuck.

Wait—wait. Now why he wants it is all coming together. The entire point of this top-tier stupid plot.

"We're giving you thirty minutes to pack and get o u t!" Floyd says. "Say bye to all your ghosty friends!"

"I-is that why they escorted us here?!" Grim panicks.

"Right. Collateral." I give a sigh. "Alright, I'll go pack up—Grim, just get the school books from the talbe. I'll get the bedroom and bathroom, okay?" Collateral. Fuck me I'm dumb. But that means he's setting aside ten percent starting now.

Grim's arguing, and I'm not paying attention to semantics. "Stay down there, you freaks!" I call, as I go and slam the door behind me. As long as a fight doesn't start, I don't care.

I can probably sleep in the cafeteria, and use the school showers—since I have private access. I get into the closet, and open up a duffle bag I've had stuffed with all those tampons and with some clothes on top. Grim doesn't dig through things and I don't let anyone linger here to find it. It's quick work to get all my clothes, as little as there are, and to stuff them in the bag. I layer the laptop and thin-line printer—and the fucking router too while I'm at it. I need my paper stuff if I'm going to keep being a student, I need the tampons and clothes for obvious reasons, and I have my school bag on me with some of my books, assignments, and the ghost camera already on me.

I go add the photo album and the envelope of pictures that are given to Crowley—along with my half-done monthly budget reports. They just go into my backpack, stuffing it fairly full.

Rushing to the bathroom, I snag my toiletries and put them in the duffle. I have to sacrifice a bar of soap but it is what it is. I also make sure to wrap and get our tooth brushes. Omni-important. No tuna breath for Grim.

I'll either have to lug these bags around all day or make Crowley watch them while I attend classes.

I am way, way to calm about this and I don't get it. I feel absolutely, emotionally dead. I don't get it. I should be crying, or upset—but I just feel this awful, dull acceptance about it all. This is just how it goes at Night Raven College.

But I have a plan. Sleep in the cafeteria near the fire, eat in the kitchens with what's available, and bathe in the PE Faculty showers. I can manage this just fine. There's a roof over my head, I'll be able to eat, and there's somewhere to bathe. So, maybe it won't be very comfortable but I'll be able to manage and probably scavange some actual bedding or perhaps figure out somewhere to sleep in the library later.

I hear some creepy twin laughter, too.

These guys give me the creeps.

I get down stairs. Grim has a bag that's clearly only filled with tuna cans, but I get the books and pack them away without any issue.

"Are you ready to go? Have everything?" Jade asks.

"C'mon, c'mon, time's almost up!" Floyd's too gleeful.

"We're going, don't worry." I say with a sigh.

"Oh—if you have no where else to go, do let us know. There are rooms available at the Octavinelle Dorm for a hundred marks a night." I have to take in a breath to not slap Jade Leech silly.

"By Floyd's sloppy appearance I doubt I can trust the cleanliness standards of your establishment. Have a lovely evening." I use that beautiful customer service voice, and make my overburdened way out of there. I'm done. I'm over it. Fuck. This. Noise.

"Wow! Bye baby seal, bye lil' shrimpy!" Floyd waves… and we're out.

I take a last look at the dorm, and shake my head. "That's that."

"...I don't wanna sleep outside tonight… it's so unfair." Grim huffs.

"We're going to the cafeteria. There's fire, and it's shelter… and the kitchens, of course.

"Hey! No! Grim!" Deuce calls out, I'm…

It's Jack and the brain cell bros. Huh.

"Oh! Are you guys here to save us?!" Grim sounds so hopeful. Should I remind him if he wasn't lazy we wouldn't be like this in the first place?

I don't.

"We're definitely not here because we're worried about you. It's all of our faults that No's in this mess." Ace adds quickly.

"You right." I reply.

"It wouldn't go well if No got sick, caught a cold, or froze…" Ace continues like I'm a delicate flower.

I feel like one so that's fair.

"How about you stop acting so macho?" Grim huffs.

Ah, these two like fighting. Cats and dogs.

"We talked to Riddle." Deuce starts. "If… you don't mind sharing a room with four other guys, then you're welcome to come to Heartslabyul. Because of the lack of drop outs, there's… no room. Sorry."

Oh fuck no.

I am not sleeping in a room with four boys.

I am definitely trying to hide a big ol' secret and that's just a little much. Grim is dumb and probably doesn't know the difference between human male and female and I am KEEPING it that way. He doesn't need to know about all-natural, home-grown, made-in-USA, Texas-certified organic titties I got hiding here and neither does anyone else at this school.

"That's too crowded." Jack cuts in. "How about… you two stay at Savanaclaw?" He seems nervous about this offer. "We have plenty of rooms."

Why is everyone shocked.

"I helped pick the fight with Azul, and I was powerless to help. I doubt Leona will object after your help during the Spelldrive Tournament… you kept us from getting expelled, after all." Jack continues.

"Awww~ Jack's such a nice guy, isn't he~?" Ace, stop teasing.

Grim's smirking too. "Aw~ what an unexpected sweet side."

Jack growls. "Shut up. You're getting the wrong idea! If No doesn't defeat Azul before the next test, I won't have as high of a class standing!"

"Sure, sure~" Ace laughs. "Whatever you say, Jack!"

"I do think No will be more comfortable there, too." Deuce adds.

"Can we go? I'm… sleepy." Ugh, and I have this horrible back ache from carrying these bags, too.

"Or you can sleep with me, Deuce, or pick the floor." Ace chuckles. "Your choice, No!"

"Jack. Please. Let's go." I plead.

"It's…" Jack yawns. "It's late. Let's go."

And off we head, parting with Deuce and Ace at the mirrors as Jack and I head with Grim to Savanaclaw. Our last outing here wasn't entirely pleasant… and I have a bad feeling.

I suddenly get hugged to Jack's side. "Careful. Watch your step!"

"R-right?" What was I even tripping on? Ugh, I'm exhausted.

Oh. Great.

Leona Kingscholar's already there. Waiting for us.

I really didn't want to see him again so soon...