"Will we really be able to breathe underwater after we take Azul's potion?" Deuce asks, frowning—he's concerned we might drown. He has every reason to be concerned we might drown.

I don't necessarily care, if I drown, this is suddenly not my problem anymore. WOW THAT'S DARK. Oh, someone is having a bad period. It's me.

"Let's just drink it." Jack cuts in, he's a man of action. I appreciate that right now.

Only right now.

"C'mon, let's go!" And down the hatch it goes.

This tastes horrid, and there's a beautiful chorus of complaints. But the concern ISN'T that—it's if it's going to work. As I have been dared and successfully tasted some horrid things in my life, I will be absolutely honest when I say that this isn't super duper terrible. Surprisingly. Really surprisingly.

At first, there was nothing. And then there was trouble breathing and the Mirror of Darkness glows at it takes us where we need to go.

SO, It's about when we drink the potions and get into the actual water that I realize that this was probably a bad fucking idea on my part to go into the ocean on my period when sea creatures can smell blood in the water.

And that's when I remember I'm wearing a really good tampon and I'm plugged up tighter than a submarine.

Boy this is an uncomfortable day for me. But, now I understand why I both feel like shit and I'm emotionally fucked. It's great. I'm loving every fucking second of my life right now.

But the water I'm in—walking, swimming, whatever, feels iamazing/i. The pressure of the water feels good; even if I'm… cold? Cold feels good.

And this place is absolutely beautiful. The seaweed that sways in the water. The gorgeous coral lining the ocean floor. Light streams gorgeously from the surface, but barely; enough to light our path. Ahead, there's actually a sign for the museum—and we're clearly not far. While it is hard to move, swimming isn't a super-terrible thing to do.

It's very peaceful. I feel at peace, until I hear my companions talking.

Some of these idiots like to ruin a good thing.

"We're underwater! WE'RE GONNA DROWN!" Grim's panicking, and I'm actually wondering how his ears are staying lit. Um.

"—but I can breathe!" Deuce is so surprised.

"Oh! You're okay? I'm okay!" Grim must be sharing part of the brain cell today.

"We're breathing. Underwater." Jack is impressed, and I think fairly shocked. He has the most understandable reaction—well, no, they all do, but I'm not feeling generous as I'm already walking off—well, swimming, and having to stop to look back at them and just.

REALLY?

"And the coral reef! It's—it's beautiful!" Ace can't help the wide grin across his face. "Cater would lose his shit taking pictures!"

Shit, they're all being cute right now. Bullshit.

"You're right; it's absolutely gorgeous." I say.

"And we don't have time for this—let's go." Jack took the No-swimming-away well.

"I can't move well!" Grim complains.

"Try swimming." I reply—and come to find out he's a poor cat paddler, and insists as per usual that he is, in fact, not a cat. I still don't believe it. But I prefer my cats not talking and Grim is a good reason why.

It takes us way too long to get the museum. Honestly, it's gorgeous—it looks like it was carved of coral and shells. The giant structure has so many spiraling towers and it's—absolutely breathtaking as it glitters like jewels under the sea. I have to stand there and absolutely marvel at it.

"Oh, what is that?" Deuce asks.

"This is the Atlantica Memorial Museum, isn't it…?" Ace says in awe.

"Ah! Humans with fish fins!" ...Grim…

"Probably mer-people, Grim." Dumb fuck. I can't.

"—Merpeople…? I can't believe people live underwater." Deuce, you dumb fuck.

This period temper isn't really working well for me right now. I should not be on some weird mission that's really a result of Crowley being a shitty Headmaster. I should be in bed. Crying.

We are about to start approaching when there's two, strange, long dark shadows that suddenly block the light.

"We're in trouble." My instincts are not wrong here because wow do I get into a lot of unnecessary trouble at Night Raven College and I damn well know it.

"Ah! Look at them, they're all here! Lil' shrimpy and the gang!" That is unmistakably Floyd Leech's voice and I don't want to.

"Can we not?" I ask the Universe. The Universe laughs in reply.

"Greetings! What do you think of the land under the sea?" Jade. Yep. The creepier of the twins.

"It's—the twins?!" Grim's angry, sure, but uh.

There's two giant eel-man creatures that have just gotten before us. Uh.

Holy fucking shit they're huge.

Their skin is a pattern of almost-white and a dark green; there's fins where their ears should be, on their arms, their backs—long tails, too—and honestly they're both probably double in length. I'm in marveled awe at the 8-packs they're both sporting too. iDamn/i.

I feel chubby.

But those faces haven't changed, nor has their hair—and I'm surprised to see the—um.

Um.

They don't have dicks.

They are most assuredly naked and I do not see a mer-eel-penis and that bothers me immensely.

Is.

Is it internal?

Do.

Do they have cloacas? I shouldn't be thinking so hard about this OR looking but that's where my brain is today.

"It's us!" Floyd announces like we didn't already know.

"—they're… eels?" Jack's startled and surprised as he should be, because I'M SHOCKED. "Why do they—look?"

Ace, why aren't you surprised?

"Eh? This is how we're supposed to look…?" Floyd is slightly confused.

"I appreciate the memo but I didn't get it before now." Wow, I am in that mood and I'm even mouthing off to the Leech twins. Put on my grave: the Biggest Balls in NRC.

Ironic.

"We're merpeople!" Floyd is now swimming around me, his tail curved as if he's going to wrap me up. That's fucking unnerving.

Jade, in turn, is around Ace. "-a potion we take gives us legs, as we cannot walk on land with these fins. Or, well, breathe." Jade explains easily.

Something hits me suddenly. That they're here. Why they're here.

"Ugh—so long?! How long are you two, actually?" Ace asks. Good question.

I think they're here to stop us.

"Are you a sea snake?" Deuce asks.

"Nope! Eels!" Floyd moves to swim around Deuce now.

"And why ARE you here?!" Grim demands.

Clearly to interfere. The contract with Azul says he can't interfere directly, so he sent his—I just realized something.

"You guys aren't playing mafia—you're FISH mafia!" I am an absolute genius.

I get a pause and some looks.

"Ha ha! Anyway! We're here to interfere!"

"Yeah, figures." Ace sighs.

"We can't let you win so easily, after all. Then it isn't fun." Jade continues.

I didn't want to be fighting the goons of the fish mafia today, but look where we are. It's unfortunate, and worse than that, we're underwater. They're basically chasing us around and corralling us away from the museum with their swimming, fins, and magic—in all honesty I'm not surprised in the slightest, either.

I definitely hate them. And I can't even get a shot gun for some reason. A lot of my problems would be solved with a shot gun. These two are like fucking gophers. Annoying as piss. Or squirrels! Worst! Things! Ever!

"You can't hit us!" Floyd teases.

"Where are you aiming?

"You can't talk!"

"How did I miss?"

"I'll do it!"

This is absolutely stupid.

"How did—did he redirect it?!" Jack asks.

"Ooo! Sea urchin got it!" Floyd claps. It's a little weird, clapping underwater. I don't know why that's the weirdest part about this. It'll take me awhile to sort that one out.

"It's surprising how creatures from land have such incredible eyesight." Is that sarcasm, Jade?

"I'll tell you why!" Floyd says with a giggle, he's right under Crowley with the hate-list. "My Unique Magic is called iBind the Heart/i. It's a magic that deflects others', so nothing you send our way will hit us! Cool, right?"

"So you're cheating?!" Grim.

Grim, you're clearly a sore loser and we've definitely lost today.

Jade gives such a big sigh. "Floyd, you cannot just go around, telling everyone about your unique magic. The disclosure wasn't authorized in the first place." Fish Mafia is canon.

"Why does it matter? Even if they know, they can't do anything about it." Did his voice just drop? Dislike.

"As you wish… I'm glad your magic is cooperating today, Floyd." I hate these two so much. Jade's just as creepy, and ties for number two as most-hated. "I would be happy to see you like this all the time, Floyd." And they're grossly affectionate. I don't have siblings. "When you're not in the mood, things go awry. It's troublesome."

Azul's only third because I haven't seen him today.

Floyd's already back to us. "Hurry, hurry! Run away! If I catch you, I'm going to squeeze you tight! Who do I strangle first?!"

"And I will bite you and eat some DELICIOUS fresh, eel sushi!" I snap back—and I suddenly feel Jack seizing me by the waist as he swims off.

"We are LEAVING, No!" Jack almost snarls.

Yeah, we're all swimming away. I guess that means we need to call for plan B as I yell. "I'LL FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE YOU TWO SUSHI BOATS!"

"Can't wait to do this again, lil' shrimpy! It'll be the same each time!" Floyd calls after us, waiving.

"FUCK YOU BOTH!" Grim calls. DAMN.

Did I teach him that language?

There's a glow—and so easily as we've left, we've returned. Coughing up water for a few minutes, and thankfully, air starts to fill our lungs again.

I groan, curling a bit against Jack. That hit hurt. "...Ow…"

Deuce groans, rolling over. "Are we alive?"

Good question.

"I guess." Ace replies, starting to get up.

"And they're merpeople… that's such a disadvantage…" Jack sighs, shaking his head.

"They were like sharks! I can't swim fast but they can! No fair!" Grim complains, shaking off his fur more like a dog—and there he goes, Jack following.

"We don't stand a chance against them right now." Jack sighs.

"If we don't get the photo we'll lose Ramshackle…" Grim finally realizes the weight of his demands as he sadly looks at the ground.

"We need another plan—something, anything that's not that." I sigh, wringing out my hair.

"We might have to ask Cater… Yeah, Deuce, c'mon, let's go to Heartslabyul and ask Cater what he knows." Ace gestures.

"I'll talk to Ruggie and the others, come, let's get back to Savanaclaw." Jack helps me up, and I'm jelly-legged and I need a switch-out bad.

We head out of the chamber, heading through the halls, and dripping wet. It's dark out, I can tell from a window, and I'm pretty thankful because that means not many people are going to be around. That's honestly for the best—for us, at least.

We're somewhat dry as we return. I'm leaning on Jack for some support. My land legs are not coming back quickly enough.

"This stinks…" Grim comments.

Ruggie and Leona are surprisingly, but not, lounging around the beautiful lounge as we enter. I feel like a wet cat still. And I'm heavy. Ugh, my cramps are so bad again too. I might throw up—and I definitely need to eat something.

"So what did you two—ugh, you smell like the sea." Leona comments, wrinkling his nose.

"We went to the Coral Sea today." I explain.

"That makes… sense. That's your goal right, photo from the museum?" Ruggie asks, genuinely curious I guess.

"And we were confronted by the Leech twins as EELS!" Grim exclaims.

"That was stupid." Leona sighs, a hand to his temple.

I want to punch him right now.

"—what?! You told us to get a move on!" Grim huffs! He's as irritated as I am and the little fucker's already dry. Bastard.

"...I didn't tell you to dive in like an idiot. Which meant think. Use your heads. Figure out a solution." Leona continues the lecture, or, I guess it's…

My brain isn't up for this. I take in a deep breath, and let it out. "A shotgun and murder, then."

I'm getting several looks right now. Huh.

"None of you stand a chance against merpeople in terms of strength or magic—Azul set you up for failure at the start." Leona continues explaining like we're idiots, which we are.

"Housewarden… did you already know that they were merpeople… and didn't tell us?" Jack asks.

"Yep."

Ruggie laughs. "I mean, Floyd was fishing in the lake in his merform during Camp Vargas. Not sure how you three missed that. Must've been terrifying getting chased in that form."

"And why weren't we told?!" Jack huffs.

"You didn't ask." Leona offers simply. "That's all you had to do." And there's the smirk.

Ruggie's laughing. "Think before you act! If you don't think you won't survive in the Savanna."

I will puke on them.

"They're such big bullies!" Grim. Please don't. Not while we need shelter.

"So even with the clause, Azul knew he'd have alternate ways to interfere…" Jack concludes.

Yeah, we got that. I let out a sigh.

"No shit." Leona comments.

"The Leech twins commonly do that for Azul—it's his goal to make you fail, after all. And the two of them play along." Ruggie explains.

"Fucking fish mafia." I comment.

"Cowards." Grim agrees. "And if No loses, I'll work for Azul forever!" Oh, NOW you're understanding the consequences?!

"...It's… there's something. I—It's to think about." I run a hand through my wet bangs. My stomach feels horrid, I have the worst cramps shooting up and down to my knees and just—I hate it. I hate it a lot. "We'll figure it out. Have to, right?"

Ruggie's giving a look to Leona. "Hm?"

"Azul's Unique Magic is called iIt's a Deal/i. When signing a contract, he's able to take a magical ability or natural attribute from the other party. However, if they cannot break or complete the terms of the contract they will be magically bound to it—and usually that is to work for him."

"It's difficult magic, but because he's mastered it, he's absolutely ruthless." Ruggie supplements.

"He seals the magic in his contract, and summons it at will." Leona continues.

"So his high-level magic is because of these deals?" Jack looks horrified.

"Yep—magic from his other deals. Not surprised now at his abilities, right? And he's been doing it since before he came to NRC." Ruggie continues offering helpful information.

"Another cheating fraud!" That would boil Jack's blood.

"It's a high level unique magic, I don't consider it cheating." Ruggie counters.

"And I've never given him any of my magic, so I can't tell you how it works." Leona's giving an awful lot of willing information right now. I like this new, nicer Leona, but it also makes me incredibly suspicious.

"So what did you give him as collateral, then?" Jack pries.

There's a growl in Leona's throat. "Don't make me recall that."

I'm using Jack as a leaning post at this point.

"Anyways, as long as he has the contracts with him, there's no way to break it—and he makes his deals almost irresistible, but impossible." Leona slides past the topic easily.

"No one's going to sign an unfavorable contract, well, except you, Bunny." Ruggie's pretty blunt there. Oof.

"A little caring won't kill any of you." I comment.

"The best way to win against Azul is to not make a deal. Hah!" Thanks, Leona.

"Then what can we do?" Oh, poor Grim.

"The two options are completing the conditions or destroying the contracts…" Or—both? My head reels a bit. I'm going to need a lot more information. "—is there anything else you can tell us?" I ask Leona.

He frowns. "You should do things on your own. Use that head of yours. How have you defeated people that are stronger than you so far?"

"Magic of friendship, ibestie/i." I see Leona flinch. He remembers.

"If I was in your place, Bunny…" He chuckles. "I'd try and destroy the contract."

"Against the terms to do so by my own hand." I offer as a counterpoint. "And I'd like to succeed."

"Why is that?" There's a frown to Leona's face.

"They're indestructible though!" Grim whines.

"What a small brain…" Leona complains.

"Wait—wait a second. The reason I want to keep the contract and succeed is because I want to free them from the anemones, and get ten percent of the Monstro Lounge's profits until I graduate." I continue. "But it also renders it void to remove the copy in Crowley's possession—and there are two, both have to be gone to render void."

"You bargained that much…?" Leona seems surprised.

"But… wouldn't he have bragged they were indestructible at the time if they were?" I ask. "—Of course I did. If I pull in an actual, proper income for the dorm maybe Crowley will stop foisting all the school's bullshit on ime/i."

"Makes sense how someone got scammed." Ruggie comments as well.

"What?! But he said they were!" Grim protests.

"Why believe something Azul says so easily? He's a schemer and a liar." Ruggie continues.

"But it was attacked." Jack states.

"Yeah, and it could be a show, doesn't that seem like Azul? He's all about presentation."

And drama.

"All magic has its weakness. Even that Teapot Tyrant's Unique Magic has its own weak point." Leona explains. "Every great magician has a limit. Even Azul's so-called invincible iIt's a Deal/i, isn't."

"So it has a weak point." Jack concludes. "So let's try to find their weakness upn here… is that the path to victory?" Jack asks. "But doesn't it seem like cheating?"

I slowly look over to Jack. A deep breath. In. And out.

"Jack." Ruggie starts, ears flat and disappointed in the younger. "Morals and great are all but winning against Azul on land or sea means you can't pick the good fight. You have to play dirty too." This is one very Ruggie pep talk.

"But…" Jack sighs.

"How about this: they tricked naive, helpless herbivores into signing away their magic." Leona clearly cares and it's kind of cute. Aw. "Why are you holding back with this injustice? Cheating or not, your victory means nullifying their contracts, and saving them from his unfair entrapment."

Leona's unofficial number two is in such laughter! "Our Leona—bad to the bone as always!"

That's how the hyena takes it but I think he actually cares a little. It's super cute. "It's cute that you care." I comment. "-but did you learn anything? At all?"

Leona smirks. Oh, that look means a lot. "I said it before, Bunny, I do whatever it takes."

"An eye for an eye…" Jack says softly. "—we have two days left. Let's go after the contracts." I'm glad he's pumped up but I want a shower.

"At least investigate—I sort of want to wait until the last minute and then crush him?" Oh, yeah, I'm feeling vengeful.

"Have fun little ones." Leona sends us off.

"All that and you're not even gonna help?!" Grim looks surprised.

I'm not.

"Why? I'm not convinced to help your rag-tag team of freshmen. I already gave you enough hints and information. Have fun—later." Interesting. He didn't say he wouldn't help. I guess Leona will make good on that.

"Not helping either. Good luck!" Ruggie doesn't surprise me. There's no profit for him.

"How cruel!" Grim, he left us an opening.

The two leave, and we're left standing there.

"Alright, let's start with a plan." I say to Grim and Jack, gesturing them closer.

We might be able to finish this tonight. Most of what I want right now is a 12 gauge and barbecue. God, do I want some brisket...

After. We do that AFTER.