Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K Rowling.

A/N: Howdy! I hope everyone has had great week, now that Hogwarts Legacy has launched and all. I've had a couple of people request headings for when the POV changes, and I will begin to do add those. I'd hoped that I wouldn't have to, but I understand that reading the story is different for you than it is to me. So every time the POV changes, I'll give you a heads up. If there is no new notice, then it is the same POV as the previous scene. Hopefully, it becomes clear how it works in this chapter. I appreciate the feedback, please don't hesitate to voice any other concerns.

This chapter is a little longer than usual, as a celebration for 30 chapters done, I suppose. From now on the posting schedule will change a bit. I'll start to post on Fridays instead of Thursdays, simply because I'll have more time. So against my better judgement, I post this chapter on the Thursday, and then you'll have another chapter on Friday.

To another 30 chapters, enjoy!

Chapter 30: Winter Break

-Harry-

"Point Jugovic."

I snarled and glared at my opponent on the opposite side of the duelling ring. He was tall, with dark hair, clad in robes made in the most expensive silk; the light almost reflected off the material. Jugovic was smirking condescendingly as I got up from the ground.

He had three points, I had two points. I clenched and unclenched my fists. There was no way in hell I would let him win. I would stay in the tournament, no matter what.

We approached each other again and got into position.

Jugovic smiled broadly, revealing plenty of shining, white teeth. "Want to make a bet, Potter?" he said confidently. "If I win, I get your girl. If you win, you get mine." Jugovic gestured towards Alice, who was sitting in the row closest to the ring.

I glared at him. "Fuck you."

He chuckled and readied his wand. "We both know you won't win, but we can even things out by giving you an extra... incentive..."

"Incentive?" I chuckled darkly. "Punishment, more like. Who on earth would want to be with someone who looks to have half of their genes coming from a horse?"

Jugovic glared at me back. "You'll regret that, Potter."

The referee fired his spell into the ground.

Juguvic fired flames after flames at me -a seemingly neverending onslaught.

Sweat ran down my forehead and soaked my clothes but I fought tooth and nail, and perservered. I dodged his spells and struck him square in the chest, sending him flying.

"Point Potter," the referee said gruffly.

We approached the middle to begin anew, Juguvic's eyes surging with unrepressed anger.

"You're lucky your mother's dead," Jugovic spat. "Otherwise, I would have her moaning my name for hours after this..."

I sneered. "You know what? I take up you offer. I would do the same to your mother, but she is, somehow, even uglier than your girlfriend." I pinched my nose. "Seriously, are none of the women attracted to humans where you come from?"

Jugovic raised his chin. "I'll fucking kill you for that," he whispered. "I'll kill you slowly, while fucking your girlfriend."

"The only thing you'll be fucking is an imagination, because no one real will want to do it with you after this."

A spell struck the ground and we were off again.

We fought and clashed like famished lions. Both of us bled and hurt and limped. Sweat was clouding my vision, but I refused to give up -to give in.

I scored a point, he scored a point. And so it went on.

My head was hot, I saw red and orange and fire danced in front of me -literally.

Anger was coarsing through my veins like hot lava; all I saw was Jugovic in his battered, rich clothes and whatever he threw at me.

I neatly dodged a spear going for my heart before I sent back an eagle, diving for his torso. The eagle struck his chest and pinned him to the ground. Jugovic had to do all he could to keep it away from ripping his vocal cords out.

"Point Potter," the referee said.

We were even again -nine points against nine points. This was the last one; the one which would determine the win.

I dissolved the eagle and we approached each other again.

This time, Jugovic didn't even look at me. He stared at someone behind me; I could guess who it was. Jugovic licked his lips hungrily, there was a sharp glint in his eyes.

My wand-hand twitched, I wanted to strike him, strike him away, into oblivion and suffering.

My visiosn was almost blurred, all I could see was the eyes radiating hunger and desire like they were radioactive.

My breaths were laboured, my legs screamed in agony. Yet I felt more energy than ever.

This person would suffer, he would suffer so much.

I was almost shaking in anticipation, I would rip him apart like a hungry wolf and devour him.

Yet a little whisper made itself heard in the back of my head, like a small itch on my pinky toe: think rationally.

I could see Jugovic's fury clear as day. It struck me, he would be emotional, unpredictable, but easy to trick. He wouldn't waste time, he would want to finsih me quickly -just like I wanted to finish him quickly.

If I played this well, if I played this rationally, I would win easily.

The referee released his spell and we began our dance.

He immediately pressed his offensive, but my defences held firm. He was trying to scale the walls of an impressive castle with a shovel and a torch.

He didn't succeed. He tired himself out, his shoulders slumepd and his eyes fought to stay open.

This was my opening. I fired an impressive spell which shattered his feeble shield like it was made of glass. Jugovic staggered backwards, fear pouring out of his eyes like he was crying rivers.

For a brief moment, I thought about using the spell -convadcryst. Seeing him turned into purple crystal would be glorious... but also wrong.

Instead I struck him square in the head with a spell, sending him flying up into the air; then landing with a heavy thud.

"Point Potter! Potter of Hogwarts wins and qualifies for the knockout stages!"

The silencing spell surrounding the duelling ring came crashing down in an onslaught of cheers. I smirked and stared at the form lying on the ground.

This was a victory.

After Jugovic had been sent away and Flitwick had congratulated me happily, Alice approached me.

She quirked an eyebrow. "You looked angry," she remarked. "Did he say anything?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

She hummed. "I see. Do you always look like someone burned your home to the ground after an 'ordinary' conversation."

I nodded. "Of course, so be careful."

Alice shook her head. "You could never get mad at me."

"Trust me, I can. I'm sure you could make a pacifist angry with all of your questions."

She stuck her tongue out just as I felt a tap on the shoulder.

I turned around and was met by a girl.

She had smooth black hair and an expertly applied layer of makeup, her eyes were black and clouded. It was Jugovic's girlfriend.

"I heard what he promised you," the girl whispered meekly.

I frowned. "It's alright, I don't want anything from you."

The girl's eyes were plastered at the ground. "Oh... Am I really that ugly?" she said, seemingly heartbroken. She gulped. "Sloban always says I am ugly, I guess he is right..."

I clenched my fist at the thought of Sloban Jugovic.

"He's wrong," I said. "You're not ugly-"

"The opposite, actually," Alice added with a wink."

The girl's eyes looked at Alice, and then at me. "But why wouldn't you want me to..." she trailed off.

I grimaced. "Look, I don't know you, and you don't know me." I sighed. "I don't want to be with anyone because they are forced to, alright? If I ever was to be together with a girl, then that would be because I want to be with her and she wants to be with me."

The girl nodded timidly. "I understand, thank you, Mr. Potter." She turned away to leave but paused. "You're nice, I hope you do well in the future."

"Goodbye."

I stared after her retreating form. I couldn't help but feel sympathy for the girl who returned obediantly to Jugovic's side.

Alice tapped my shoulder, her eyebrow was arched. "So nothing was said between you and Jugovic, huh?"

-()-

It felt weird packing all of my belongings inside my trunk again. My room far up along the branches of Nanshu was dull at best. I had taken some inspiration from Alice's school and conjured a small ornament with a British flag for my nightstand, but that was about it.

Either way, it felt weird leaving. We wouldn't take the train back to the school, we would take the floo like Flitwick and all the visiting students did. There would be a couple of stops due to border controls and such, but it was worth it. I looked forward to returning home more than I could describe. It had been months since I spoke to my friends last, I wondered how school had been for them.

How had Ron's first quidditch game been?

How had Hermione's quest for good grades gone?

I smiled at the thought. Knowing them, they had probably gone pretty well.

I heard a faint knock on the door.

"Come in," I said gently and quickly hid the ancient book inside my trunk.

"Didn't know you were such a patriot," Alice remarked and gestured towards the British flag.

I smiled. "Can't I even know peace in the comforts of my own room anymore?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "No, I have a question."

"You've left me flabbergasted with that statement. You? A question?"

Alice snorted. "No, but seriously. I was wondering if you wanted to visit during the holiday?"

I arched an eyebrow. "You want me to go to the states during the holidays?"

Alice shook her head. "No, I will be spending it with some relatives in Sweden. I was planning to go skiing…"

"I can't ski."

Alice smiled. "Good, that means that you have something to learn."

I shook my head with a fond smile. "It feels like you're doing nothing but teaching me things."

Alice nodded quickly. "Yeah, it is then only natural that you give me something in return…"

I snorted. "Is this about that spell again?"

"Possibly."

I met her eyes with an amused glint. "You've helped me advance to the knockout stages, teach me how to ski and I will begin to contemplate it."

Alice smiled at me broadly. "I hope you will do more than contemplate it."

-()-

-Draco-

"I signed us up for Potter's next duel."

My gaze shot up towards the beautiful blonde girl sharply. "What?"

"I signed us up for…"

"I heard what you said."

Daphne sat down in an armchair and began to pack up her charms essay.

"Why on earth would you do that?" I asked in exasperation.

"It could prove advantageous."

Pansy rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Well, have fun then."

Daphne frowned. "I signed up all of us."

Pansy looked absolutely murderous. "You signed me up as well?"

Daphne nodded once.

"It is usually smart to talk about these things before doing them," Blaise remarked with a smile.

Daphne said nothing.

I sighed. "Potter is through to the knockout, the next duel is in late January. Perhaps it will seem…more appealing then."

Daphne still said nothing, her focus was firmly on her essay.

Blaise shrugged and went back to his work. Pansy looked like she desperately wanted to say something, but kept it in. I wondered if Daphne would see all hell break loose when she went to her dormitory later tonight.

Our group fell into a silence which was only interrupted by the occasional aggressive scratch of a quill. Even though Flitwick travelled to China once a week, he still kept on assigning us essays which took way more time than was reasonably justifiable.

Pansy was the first one to finish and leave. Millicent soon followed. Blaise and Tracey finished almost exactly at the same time and left. Blaise sent me an amused look I chose pointedly to ignore.

"I'm sorry," Daphne whispered.

I looked up at my essay to find Daphne reading her essay and twirling a lock of hair in her hand. "What for?"

"For signing you up to see the duel."

"Shouldn't you have apologised for that to everyone?"

A slight crease adorned Daphne's features. "Maybe."

"Then I would suggest doing it," I said firmly. "I don't mind watching, but I know for a fact that Pansy will."

Daphne stared blankly at her essay, still twirling a lock of hair between her fingers.

"You do know you'll mess up your hair if you do that," I remarked.

Daphne's hand shot away from her hair and she folded her hands neatly in her lap.

"Are you ready for the patrol?" I said after a couple of minutes of silence.

Daphne nodded once and stood up mechanically.

I sent her an uncertain look.

"What's up?" I asked in concern when we had exited the common room.

Daphne kept her gaze firmly fixed forward. "Nothing, Draco."

"Sure," I responded with a roll of my eyes.

We walked in silence until we reached Professor Umbridge's office.

It was packed to the brim inside. Every single member of the inquisitorial squad was there. Daphne took a letter out of her pocket and held onto it like her life depended on it. She tried to elbow her way through to presumably hand it to Umbridge but she was interrupted by Umbridge clearing her throat loudly. It really was a wonder that it was even heard inside.

"Hello, dears." She smiled at us like we were a bunch of three years olds. "I have recently learned of a rather…concerning movement within our student body."

I tried to exchange a look with Daphne but she kept her eyes glued at Umbridge.

"Tomorrow, all of you will leave for winter break. When we return here after the break, we will get to the root of this problem."

Umbridge somehow managed to smile in an even more condescending manner. "Dear, Ms. Greengrass here has compiled a small list with…potential suspects." Umbridge gestured for Daphne to come up beside her, which she did.

Daphne was about two decimeters taller than Umbridge but she still managed to look small next to her. Her eyes were glued to the piece of paper in her hands, her back was, dare I say it, hunched.

"Yeah…so these are the people who could…who potentially are part of a secret group." Her Adam's apple budged. She was twirling a strand of hair in her hand with fervour. The letter in her hand shook. Every single pair of eyes of the almost thirty people inside were glued to her.

"Hermione Granger," she read aloud. "Ronald Weasley, Michael Conrer…sorry, Corner." It looked like she barely could read what was said on the paper. Daphne took a deep breath and stopped the shaking. "Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Alicia Spinnet, Claren Magnefield and Ernie MacMillan," she read out so fast I barely registered all of the names.

Umbridge looked like she had won the lottery, she gave a short clap which me and the others quickly followed up on. "We don't know if these people are involved, but if they or anyone else is involved in some sinister plot to destabilise the education we've got here, it is our duty and responsibility to make sure this rot won't spread nor kill."

"Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang out through the small room in poor synchronisation.

"After the break, I want all of you to perch your ears." She held a finger up and looked over us seriously. "And if you hear even a whisper of anything, I want to know at once." She smiled sweetly. "Understand?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge."

The bottle with blue liquid started to glow brightly. Someone had entered the fifth floor. Umbridge smiled sweetly.

Now she would let out her predators to chase their prey.

-()-

-Harry-

Grimmauld Place looked perfect from where I stood on the street outside. The return to Britain had meant a return to the blistering British weather, and snow.

I didn't even know that I had missed snow and biting cold before I returned here from my life in the skies.

Sirius muttered something beside me and number 12 appeared among the houses. Sirius had been the person from the order to act as my guard, and I had never even known he was there. It was rather impressive that he managed to stay hidden that well. Although I didn't doubt that polyjuice had something to do with that.

-()-

Meeting Ron and Hermione again felt off. Hermione hugged me as usual and Ron patted me on the shoulder and made some jokes, but everything felt off. Neither of them could stay very long either. Ron would stay at the Burrow and Hermione would go to her parents.

The order had decided that the Burrow was 'not secure enough' for me and that I had to stay here. The Weasleys had wanted to stay in their home during the holidays, but had promised to have Christmas eve here at Grimmauld.

It felt like something had fractured between me and my friends. Even Fred, George and Ginny seemed to be hiding something from me. I remembered how Angelina and Katie had acted the same way.

Had something happened at Hogwarts I wasn't aware of?

And if so, why didn't anyone want to tell me?

It was with those dark thoughts I walked around in Grimmauld place during the holidays. I longed to return to Nanshu where I had freedom and could do what I pleased.

-()-

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

I sat down on the couch across from him.

"I have a question."

Sirius smiled at me. "Let's hear it then. Please tell me it is about your girl."

I glared at him. "She is not my girl and no, it is not about her either."

Sirius adopted a crestfallen look. I shook my head in irritation. "So I have this friend I met during the tournament…" I began hesitantly.

"Okay…"

"She invited me to join her for a weekend of skiing in Sweden."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "A 'she' is she?"

I glared at him. "It's not like that, okay? I want to go." I paused and met his eyes. "Am I allowed to go?"

Sirius sighed. "I would very much want to let you go to this…thing, but you know it's not that easy."

I gave him a pointed look. "But technically, you are responsible for taking care of me during the holiday."

He grimaced where he sat.

"Just imagine what a great prank it would be."

Sirius snorted. "That should really make me decide that you shouldn't go."

"Will it?"

Sirius looked at me with a stern expression. "I'll see what I can do but I won't promise anything, alright? There has been enough fuss trying to arrange your security during the tournament, we really don't need much more."

"Come on," I begged. "Voldemort doesn't seem to be doing too much nowadays…"

"He broke half of his followers out of Azkaban just yesterday, I'm not sure what you consider 'much' but I definitely consider that something," Sirius pointed out solemnly.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Can you please make sure I can go?" I begged with a desperate look.

"Do you promise to have fun? If so, I'll think about it."

-()-

I'm not quite sure what I expected when I stepped out of the floo. My knowledge of Sweden was that it was a lot of forest, and cold. Even colder than Britain. Neither of these things became apparent in the small pub I entered.

I scanned the room and found it pretty empty, which was strange since it was a Friday evening. I couldn't quite imagine a pub in England being this empty during this time of the week. Either way, I found Alice talking raptly in some tongue I didn't understand, presumably Swedish.

The tall guy she was talking to had a deep frown on his face which deepened further when I approached.

"Hello Harry!" Alice greeted me excitedly and embraced me in a hug. I patted her on the back awkwardly and we broke apart. "Are you ready to get going?"

"Sure," I remarked with an odd look at the tall fellow. My bag was very small, I had managed to convince Sirius to charm it larger, but the things I needed to bring were very few. At least Alice had told me so.

Alice led me back towards the fireplace and took a handful of floo powder. "We're going to a place called 'Stöten', alright?"

I frowned. "Is that one of those strange letters?"

Alice rolled her eyes but smiled. "Yes, don't mispronounce it, okay?"

I chuckled. "You don't need to tell me."

Alice nodded and threw the powder in. "Good." She threw me a last glance and was enveloped in the flames. "Stöten."

She disappeared with a woosh, which left me standing in the abandoned pub. "Here goes nothing." I took a fistful of powder and threw it inside the fire. "Stöten," I said resolutely and was embraced by the green flames.

-()-

Sweden had a lot of forest, a hell lot of it actually. When I stood on the peak at the highest mountain on the ski resort, there was nothing but an endless sea of green with a thin layer of white over it. The occasional peak rose up to the clear, blue sky. But in every direction, as far as I could see, nothing but forest.

It was beautiful, or at least I thought so. Alice had taught me the activity of skiing fairly well. I had only fallen about ten times the first slope I tried. She had claimed that it was a good number, I wasn't so certain about that.

I quickly found that skiing was an activity which took a great deal of time for very little reward. Going down the slopes was great, the thrill of the wind rushing against you. The idea that every turn had to be perfect. Every inch of snow had to be scanned for ice.

Going up the slopes was an entirely different thing. Either you were dragged up by a plastic arm which you held on to or you sat in a metallic chair which escorted you up the mountain. Alice claimed that the waiting part was the dull part, I disagreed.

"So…" Alice said after we had just sat down in one of the large chairs carrying us up the tall peak. "Is there anyone special back home?"

I couldn't see her face behind her goggles and the face mask, but I could imagine her teasing smile fine on my own.

"When you say 'anyone special', I suppose you're referring to a girlfriend?"

Alice shrugged. "I mean, if you swing the other way…"

"I don't have a girlfriend, or boyfriend," I clarified.

Alice turned towards me. "How come?"

I glared at her, although she couldn't actually see it. "I don't want one."

Alice didn't say anything for several moments. "Sure."

I got the impression she didn't believe me.

-()-

When Alice had told me that this took a long time to travel by, I hadn't believed her. I mean, twenty minutes was ridiculous right?

Still, here I was for the fourth time this day. The quiet forest and the ever so present scraping of the skis against the snow was ridiculously calming. I had never been able to think this well.

I thought about so much, and so little. I imagined my next duel. I would face off against a Frenchman from Beauxbatons. I would be lying if I said that I didn't dearly look forward to the match purely out of a desire for revenge against the school that had caused me so much harm. It was odd thinking about that school now, it had been such a big thing in my life and caused me so much strife. Now it was less than an afterthought, something which wasn't even a challenge. I had no illusions that I would win, that wasn't out of arrogance, I suppose I was just being realistic.

If that didn't mean that I had grown since last year, nothing would. I wondered where I would be if I never found my master's room, would I even be alive?

Would I know about the prophecy?

I would be free.

The thought hit me like a freight train. I had to quickly fight not to lose balance and have to start anew.

I knew that everything I had learned had made me more powerful, more clever and more cunning. The one thing I knew for certain that I couldn't say my apprenticeship with my master had granted me was happiness.

I chuckled darkly in the lift. Everywhere I looked there was nothing but trees, I didn't see a single person anywhere. Who could have known that there was this much space with no one in it?

"You alright there Potter!?" I heard Alice shout from behind me.

"I would be if you just shut up!" I shouted back.

I didn't need to look behind my back to know that she was shaking her head and smiling.

It was crazy to think that I hadn't been looking forward to this vacation. Christmas with the Weasleys was great, meeting Sirius again was nice. Something about just thinking for hours upon hours was different.

Alice was such a blessing. If I didn't quite know where I would be without my master, the opposite was true for her.

If Alice hadn't saved me, I would be back in Britain, knocked out of the tournament and holed up in my master's room. Something about her presence was just so easy, I never felt that I had any problems talking to her. Everything just flowed naturally, like we were on the same wavelength.

If only Daphne were like her.

I swallowed uncomfortably at the thought but it rang true. I tried to envision a world where Alice had been the person I was betrothed to. I imagined endless hours of banter and eventually, a child with my green eyes and her dark skin.

I shook my head at the thought. That wasn't it. Alice was great, she really was. I hoped that she would find someone worthy of her, if such a person existed. But I already had my wife decide for me, there was no room for anything else.

There could be.

I quenched the uneasy feeling from my mind but I couldn't forget it.

Could I have…someone else as well?"

No, I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to be with me as a second option, always in the shadows, never the official partner. That wasn't any way to live, not for that girl or for me.

No, I had enslaved Greengrass to this fate, I would damn sure make sure that I stayed loyal to the fate I had trapped us in. Not only because it was right, but because it was the only way we could ever be civil with each other.

Finally, the lift ended and we were back at the top of the mountain.

"Do you want to take the same slope again?" I asked with a sheepish smile.

I could make out Alice's broad smile through the mask. "I swear that you actually enjoy the lift more than you do the actual skiing."

-()-

We had found a small clearing in the woods where we had made a small camp. It had required some simple spells from my part and Alice had started a small fire where we were currently heating our lunch for the day. The juicy hotdogs frizzled warmly as they were slowly but surely being fried into a delicious meal.

No matter how many different charms I knew for heating my clothes and myself, there was nothing which could rival warming up to a great, crackling fire.

The fire cackled and devoured the small snowflakes and I couldn't help but feel warmer than I had rarely done before.

Alice stared into the flames absently as she slowly turned her small stick with the hot dog on it. "Do you want me to be honest with you?" she said suddenly.

I snapped my gaze to her amber eyes, the orange flame was reflected in her deep irises. "About what?"

Alice met my eyes. "About what you said yesterday."

I raised my eyebrows with a small quirk of my lips. "I said a lot of things yesterday."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes, unfortunately. I was thinking about what you said when I asked you why you didn't have a girlfriend."

I blinked suddenly a few times and almost forgot about my hot dog which was growing alarmingly close to the fire. "I meant it, I don't want one."

Alice hummed thoughtfully. "Is that true though?"

"Yes, I really can't put to much thought into my love-life when I have a mass murderer after me."

She turned her stick around as the grill on the other side as well. "But if he didn't exist, would you want one then?"

"It is irrelevant, he exists and that is that."

Alice arched a brow at me and smiled at me sadly. "That wasn't an answer to the question."

I didn't say anything. I found the small plastic bag with bread in them and took one out to grill a little as well.

"I just…I just find it sad how you feel that you can't have fun, that you can't get to know people."

I arched a brow at her. "Isn't what we are doing now proof that I can get to know people?"

Alice nodded absently. "Exactly, you say you can't have a girlfriend, but you could be mine."

"What?!" I asked, shocked.

"I don't mean that I want to be your girlfriend, no offence, but I might as well have been. Am I not proof that you can afford to get to know people? If you could get to know me, why couldn't you get to know some other girl who you like?"

I frowned and felt the dragon inside of me growl loudly. I hadn't heard it for a while now, but it reared its head again.

"It's…complicated."

Alice smiled at me sadly. "But does it have to be?"

I sent her a warning look, which she unsurprisingly ignored.

"To me, it just feels like you're still holding yourself back." Alice shook her head and smiled at me fondly. "It is so very noble how you want to become a better fighter to defeat that dark lord. It just feels like you're not doing it for yourself, it feels like you're only putting all that effort in to save everyone else."

I swallowed deeply and frowned at her words. Alice was looking at me intently, the beautiful flames reflected in her brown orbs. Her eyes looked like they were burning.

"You don't even know what you want to do after you've defeated him…"

I chuckled darkly. "You're assuming I will defeat him."

Alice narrowed her eyes on me. "But that is the thing, how can you ever have the strength to defeat him if you don't have any real reason to." She let out a long sigh. "Wouldn't having a loved one to fight for give you that extra strength you need?"

I didn't respond.

"For once in your life, Harry. Put yourself first, don't think about how your friends will be happy when you win, don't think about how the world will rejoice. Think about how you will be able to talk to your friends in peace, think about how you can finally rest. Think about that moment when you hold your child in your arms."

I smiled sadly. "If only it were that easy…"

"It could be."

No, it can not.

We took our hot dogs off our sticks and put them in bread and ate them in silence. Not a single word was said for the better part of an hour as the two of us just sat in the snow and listened to the distant shouts of skiers and the ferocious fire.

Alice threw a piece of bread inside the fire. The bread was consumed quickly, all traces of colour ripped out faster than I could react. Only ashes remain moments later.

"I hate fire," Alice said bitterly.

I looked at her. She was staring at the fire with a look of disgust.

"It is everything I hate about duelling," she continued. "Duelling is supposed to be about skill, creativity and control." Alice let out a deep breath. "Fire is the very opposite, it is wild, senseless and pervasive."

I waited for her to continue, the fire kept on burning.

"If I could choose one way to have my worst enemy killed, I would choose fire."

I, too, stared into the flames.

"I don't even care how he dies. I wouldn't care if he died with the greatest of pleasure," I said as I stared into the orange inferno. "I just want him gone."

Alice chuckled darkly. "You're too good Harry. You're too good."

I shook my head. "No, I am not."

"Perhaps you don't want to admit it, but I will say it to you. I haven't even known you for long but even I can tell that you will always do the right thing. Always. It's in the way you act, it is in the way you duel. You have no qualms with putting yourself on the line. I find that admirable."

"That's what you see, but I am not the saint you're making me out to be."

Alice gave me a pointed look. "That's not what I am saying, no one is. No one ever will be." She chucked another piece of golden bread inside the flames. "But you would give your life to save someone else. Not many people can say they would do that."

I let out a long sigh. "That's…just not true."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

The piece of gold had turned into grey sand. Lifeless, infertile, dark, cold.

"Soooooo?" Alice said. "Do you just say that in an attempt to look humble or?"

I gulped audibly and met her eyes. Green and brown met in a fight of fire.

"I…" I trailed off. "I…did something to someone."

Alice frowned but gave me a small smile. "That wasn't vague at all."

I let out a deep breath. I remembered the last time I had trusted someone I had only met recently. Images of darkness, a fiery creature and giant butterflies surface in my mind. Could I trust Alice?

If you can't trust her, then you should stop trusting everyone altogether.

She knew me, she hadn't for long. But she understood me better than even Hermione or Ron did.

The thought struck me and I couldn't get it out of my mind. I didn't want to be someone who never trusted anyone, who only put faith in themselves. Having someone to talk to was…

I braced myself and stared into the vast blue sky for answers.

"There's a reason I can't have a girlfriend," I said with a faraway look. "I…" I hesitated for one moment and took a deep breath. "I am betrothed."

I didn't dare look at Alice for several seconds. "Wow."

My eyes snapped to her face, narrowed.

"That was not what I expected."

I shrugged absently and laid down in the snow. It felt oddly comforting to feel the cold snow against my messier than usual hair. Alice laid down beside me and we stared into the blue sea together.

"It happened at the end of last year," I began in nothing but a whisper. "I had to choose….I had to either enslave her and save myself or let her be free and, eventually, die myself."

Alice gave my hand a comforting squeeze. "I think you made the right choice."

I didn't say anything.

"Do you know who it is?"

I nodded quickly.

Alice smiled. "Is she hot?"

I didn't say anything for a long time. "It doesn't matter, I've…I've ruined it."

"How so?"

I let out a deep sigh and let it all out. I explained how our first date had ended with me storming off. How I had realised that it could never work between us after the second one. Then I got to the duel between us. I felt disconnected when I described what happened, what I had done. Saying what I had done didn't feel quite real, I felt shame, a shame so overbearing I barely knew what to do. How could I ever have decided to do something so needlessly cruel? To my own future wife no less. She had done awful things, but no rational thought could convince me that what I had done to get back at her was right.

"What I did wasn't just unacceptable," I said with an absent look. "She is well within her right to never forgive me. I can't fault her that she won't."

Alice didn't say anything. I had never been more thankful that she existed.

-()-

-Hermione-

Harry had been different during the break. I hadn't quite been able to place my finger on it until I heard Ron remark that Harry appeared scared to say something wrong.

That was it, I realised. Harry was scared. I didn't know what it was that he was scared of, although I had a couple of good guesses.

Seeing and hearing Harry stumble upon words and force smiles upon his face just didn't fit with me. He had been so intent on keeping us all at bay for over a year. What had changed for him to suddenly ignore the mountain of work he had been assigned to play games with us?

McGonagall had apparently given him a ten page essay to write; he spent all his time playing chess with Ron instead. Or hanging out with Sirius in the attic.

He had even offered me the maurauders map for nothing. I took it gladly, but it was unlike him to give something with sentimental value away without any insitgation on my part.

It felt like the boy from before last year had returned. I should have been thankful, even if it meant that I had to return to my nagging ways with him, not just Ron.

But I wasn't thankful. Something had changed Harry last year. If it was the tournament or the chamber, or both, I wasn't sure. Something had changed within him, he had gained motivation and a purpose I had never really seen in him before. But he had also taken to ways of secrecy. Ways of loneliness.

I had felt so powerless when he constantly shut me out and I could do nothing. He wouldn't heed my words anymore, they didn't seem to matter anymore. He had already made up his mind about everything. That wasn't good. Everyone needed someone to rely on, even if Harry thought differently.

No, the Harry who had seemingly abandoned his studious ways felt wrong to me. It didn't feel real. It felt desperate and fake.

Now, more than ever, I needed to prove to him that I was just as capable as he was. Then he couldn't shut me out. That would be illogical.

I sighed. That probably meant that Harry would most likely do it.

Sometimes I wondered how he ever got this far with how little rational thought he had.

If I hadn't known for a fact that he didn't have anyone mentoring him, I would have thought that he had someone mentoring him.

A/N: And it is done, Chapter 30. I sure didn't expect to be writing 30 chapters when I began this, but here I am, with more than 30 chapters written. I don't want to disclose too much of what will happen, but it's not that long until the fifth year is over. After that, that Harry/Daphne pairing will finally justify its place in the tagging.

Thank you, truly, for having read this much of my story.

Until tomorrow, cheers!