Road to Redemption; Part One

Chapter One: Fifth Time's the Charm!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

WARNING: There is a failed suicide attempt in this chapter that may be triggering to some readers. It's not graphic in the slightest, and it spans three sentences, but I wanted to warn anyone reading just in case.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please reach out immediately to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. These services are free and confidential – PLEASE take care of your mental health and reach out to someone.

The first time he went back in time, it was a complete disaster. Well, was it any surprise? One moment Sasuke was coughing up blood, cursing the teary-eyed idiot who had delivered the final blow, and the next he was awake in his twelve-year old form. According to his calendar, it was the day he'd be assigned to Team Seven. For the first several hours, Sasuke was convinced he was in some elaborate genjutsu. A messed up, irritating genjutsu.

He was dead before the day had ended.

Sasuke's second time back didn't fare much differently. Although Sasuke still thought it might be a genjutsu – or perhaps hell itself – he began to wonder if it was something else. There were certain details no one could possibly have known – like the smallest of dents tucked away in the corner of his closet. It was the perfect shape of an old, broken picture frame, which was similarly hidden out of sight but not out of reach.

And then there was Sakura – no one could have possibly replicated how infuriatingly annoying she was. Even Sasuke had forgotten how bad she used to be, until he walked into the academy room and she was everywhere. Naruto for his part was as stupid and abrasive as ever, if a little bit more confused than Sasuke remembered.

He lasted exactly two weeks.

For two horrible, achingly slow weeks, Sasuke went through the motions the best he could. Instead of trying to kill his team this time, Sasuke did his best to ignore them. The only reason he let himself pass that childish test Kakashi gave them was for one reason, and one reason only – revenge. Sasuke didn't quite understand what was going on, or why he seemed to have gone back in time, but truthfully? He didn't care. Konoha was going to pay. If he would be to be forced to relive his early days as a ninja, then Sasuke decided he would do things differently; that is, destroy Konoha through any means necessary. It's not like he would have to wait long; just until the chunin exams, really.

Unfortunately for Sasuke, his unquenchable hatred made him act rashly. Foolishly. Sasuke could practically hear Itachi whisper "foolish otōto," as Danzo thrusted a kunai into his heart.

His death, Sasuke found once again, led him back to the day his ninja career began. This time, Sasuke was certain of three things. First, for whatever reason Sasuke could not fathom, he appeared to have gone back in time. Second, death led him back to the same starting point: the morning he got assigned to Team Seven. And most importantly, the third point: In order to get his revenge, Sasuke had to keep himself in check.

When did he start letting his emotions rule him? He wasn't sure. Before, when Sasuke was older, he was powerful. He could do whatever he wanted, and get away with it. He could kill Orochimaru, and then leave on his own terms. Sasuke could attack the Hokage Summit, and leave relatively unscathed. Heck, Sasuke was even powerful enough to kill Shimura Danzo himself – albeit with a little bit of help. Before, it didn't matter because he could protect himself. But that was then, and this is now, and now… Now he was stuck in hell. Trapped in a pathetically weak twelve-year old's body.

And so, Sasuke began his third round in hell.

He actually got pretty far too. Sasuke chose to completely ignore his teammates again – which, and he loathed to admit it, was actually rather difficult – and survived up to the point where the chunin exams were to take place. Granted, Sasuke had somehow avoided running into Zabuza and didn't gain the sharingan, but he figured it was only a matter of time. There were plenty of powerful opponents waiting for him, and Sasuke was certain it would activate in no time. At least, that's what he told himself to prevent insanity. The only problem? Kakashi didn't recommend them to participate in the chunin exams. Apparently, Sasuke had ignored his teammates too much and "proved incapable of ever becoming chunin at this rate."

Stupid sensei.

In a panic, Sasuke ran off to try and find Orochimaru. In hindsight, it was not the… Greatest idea Sasuke had ever implemented. But, in his defense he was desperate. It was the third time and, if he was being honest, weak as ever in a village he hated, stuck on a team he begrudgingly tolerated. In fact, despite training tirelessly and working to achieve jutsu he used to know, Sasuke was weaker than he had been in the original timeline. He needed power in order to kill Danzo again and destroy the leaf – Orochimaru could supply him with the power needed. What else could Sasuke do? He was growing impatient.

Naruto had found him the night he chose to leave, all serious. Asking Sasuke where he was going, as if the dobe had a clue what was going on. He always did that. Naruto always assumed in a self-righteous sort of way that he knew exactly what Sasuke was feeling and how he should react. As if Naruto ever had a clue or could possibly understand what Sasuke was going through. In the end, he was able to evade Naruto. Sasuke wouldn't be stopped by anyone. Not by Sakura, and certainly not by him.

Unfortunately, Gaara had other plans. That psychopath.

Death by pulverization was decidedly Sasuke's least favorite way to go – though, death by Naruto's rasengan had hurt his pride the most at this point.

Naturally, when Sasuke woke up the fourth time, he lost it. He completely destroyed his apartment, and exhausted himself out trying to commit suicide by Chidori. Evidently, he didn't yet have the chakra reserves to complete the move and failed even at that. He knew he should've just used a kunai like a normal person. When Sasuke regained consciousness after his Chidori attempt – head pounding and muscles burning – Kakashi was standing over him.

"What do you want?" Sasuke growled.

Oh, how he wished for the power to kill that man. And the whole world while he was at it. Why stop at Konoha? But then, what was the point?

"You're not going to ask who I am?" Kakashi asked, amused.

Was Sasuke annoyed by Kakashi's amusement? He decided he was too exhausted to be annoyed, and closed his eyes.

"Hatake Kakashi. Copycat ninja. Famous for his stolen sharingan eye, which allowed him to copy over 1,000 jutsu. Mentor of Team Seven. Obsessed with teamwork, but never did a good job of getting his team to work together. I know who you are, sensei."

Heh. Sensei. Guess I'm still in the habit. Sasuke could almost laugh.

"Oh? And if you know who I am, then why didn't I find you at the academy with the others?"

"'Cuz, I quit." Sasuke mumbled without thought or hesitation, eyes still closed.

"You, what?" Kakashi said at length.

"I quit." Sasuke repeated a bit louder, a dry laugh escaping. "I quit! I'm done! Screw being a ninja. Screw Naruto, screw this kami-forsaken village, screw Danzo, screw the Hokage, and screw you."

Sasuke lay there on the floor some more, arm over eyes, a laugh occasionally escaping that sounded insane even to his own ears. If he wasn't so dead inside, Sasuke suspected he probably would be crying – oh, wait. Rubbing his eyes, he realized his eyes were wet. Sasuke laughed at that too.

"Uchiha Sasuke, from the esteemed Uchiha clan—" Kakashi started.

"Yes, I know who my family is." Sasuke interjected, anger resurfacing.

The "esteemed" Uchiha clan, which has been looked down on, disregarded and disgraced, despite helping to found and build up the village. If we were truly as "esteemed" as the village tries to claim, then the whole massacre would never have happened. Sasuke's hands clenched involuntarily.

"Yes, well, in any case I'm surprised. From what I read about you, you very much wanted to become a ninja. Why the change of heart?"

Sasuke briefly considered not answering, but the words that came out of his mouth were said almost without permission.

"Tell me, Kakashi, ever heard of time travel?"

Kakashi didn't respond, and Sasuke didn't care. For the first time he could remember, he said all that was on his mind. Without bothering to debate the wisdom of it, Sasuke told Kakashi everything. About somehow traveling back to the same day every time he died, what happened the last three timelines he was a part of. Sasuke was surprised how easy it was when he just didn't care – couldn't care – anymore. Sasuke was done.

"So… what about before?" Kakashi asked, his voice thoughtful.

"What?"

"Before you came… back, the first time."

"Oh. That. I killed Sakura. Naruto killed me in response." Sasuke tried to shrug, which resulted in his shoulder twitching painfully.

"Why?" Kakashi asked after a moment.

"Because… She is like Naruto."

"In what way?"

Sasuke didn't respond to that; evidently, he did in fact maintain some self-preservation. He didn't need to explain himself to his former teacher. And anyway, the girl was trying to kill him first; no need to let the man attempt some kind of guilt trip.

Sasuke heard the man shift, and he guessed that Kakashi was now squatting next to Sasuke rather than standing over him.

"I believe you." Kakashi said softly.

"What?" Sasuke said, sitting up in shock, locking eyes with the man.

Immediately regretting the action, he slumped onto his back once more with a groan. He steadied his breathing to help dispel the nausea. This was worse than the time Suigetsu and Karin convinced him to get drunk.

"What happened to you, by the way?" Kakashi inquired, chin resting in his hand. "You're exhibiting signs of severe chakra depletion."

"Chidori." Sasuke answered, looking at the man to see his reaction.

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow.

What a lame reaction, Sasuke thought.

"You taught it to me."

"I see. Well, Sasuke, why do you think you keep coming back?" Kakashi asked, tilting his head.

"Tch, I don't know. To screw with me? Punish me?" Sasuke barked, glaring at his ceiling.

"Punish you for what?"

"For killing… a certain someone."

It was Sasuke's only real regret. Everything else was justifiable, but Itachi? Nothing could redeem him from that; not after Sasuke found out the truth.

"So, you believe you're being punished for killing this certain someone? Have you killed them yet in this timeline?"

"... No."

Four things, then. There was four things Sasuke was certain of. Itachi was still alive. That means…

"Then it sounds to me more like a road to redemption than a path of punishment."

"Redemption?" Sasuke scoffed. He had to be kidding. "I don't want redemption; I need revenge."

"Hmm, that sounds great and all Sasuke, but how can you gain revenge as a powerless civilian?"

Kakashi had a point; Sasuke hated that.

"Have you changed your mind then, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, evidentially realizing he struck a nerve.

Sasuke turned his head to face Kakashi. "Would you help me? You just heard me to admitting to murder. Aren't I your enemy?"

Kakashi gave a sad smile. "I don't think you would choose wrong this time."

Sasuke resumed his staring contest with the ceiling.

"You probably thought that then, too, huh? Well sorry, but you're wrong. I chose wrong."

Not that his choices were wrong, per se.

"Tell me Sasuke, this person you haven't killed yet; are you going to…" he paused. "What would you do, when you see them again?"

"Punch him. Hard. And then demand the truth, and then… I don't know. I don't know. Save him, maybe."

"Could you reconcile with this person and gain the revenge you so desire?"

"Yes."

"Are you certain? In my experience, obsessions like revenge prevent people from reaching the goals they really want."

Sasuke finally sat up again, slowly this time. "I want revenge."

"So, you don't really care about this other person."

Sasuke glared at Kakashi; he'd had enough. Forcing himself to get up off the hardwood, Sasuke glared down at the man.

"What would you know?"

"More than you might think, Sasuke."

Blinking away black spots forming at the corners of his eyes, Sasuke slowly made his way out of the kitchen, clinging to walls for support.

Kakashi didn't know what he was talking about. Probably. Opening his balcony door, Sasuke plucked a tomato just outside the door. Rubbing dirt off, he took a bite from the tasty fruit. Although it would die later from neglect, Sasuke was always grateful for his tomato plant and was glad to have it back.

"Sasuke."

He turned toward Kakashi, who was leaning against the door frame that led to his kitchen. Sasuke for his part slid down the wall that was supporting him, closing the balcony door on his way down. He was still too weak to stand properly.

"Hn?" Sasuke grunted in between bites.

"Are you still quitting?"

"Tempting." Sasuke almost chuckled as he took another bite. And then another. Finally, Sasuke made his choice. "No, I don't think I will."

And that was how Sasuke began his rather promising fourth start; too bad four-eyes killed him.

Honestly. How many times does a man need to be killed? And by him of all people? It was actually starting to hurt his pride. And so, when Sasuke opened his eyes for the fifth – and hopefully last – time to the reset point, Sasuke knew exactly what to do. He knew he needed to do things differently.

Sasuke was going to get his revenge, he was going to find Itachi, and Team Seven was going to help him achieve it.

Author's Note

For the purposes of this story, it's best if you guys know that the Sasuke you see is from chapter 484/episode 214. Which means (minus one minor thing), everything that happens AFTER ch. 484/ep. 214, has not happened yet. For example, Sasuke hasn't talked to Itachi after learning the truth, and hasn't talked to the dead Kage yet.

To refresh memories, in the original manga and anime, Sasuke tries to kill Sakura, but she is saved by Naruto. In my story, Sasuke successfully kills her, and gets killed almost immediately after by Naruto.

And yes, this story will be broken up in two parts, however they are both going to be in this story rather than a separate sequel. The reason is because I hate it when I'm reading something that I think is complete, only to find out there's a sequel that is usually unfinished. Plus, Part Two will likely be shorter than Part One, and I think it's just easier this way.

Another important thing to note is that while there are hints of crushes and romantic feelings throughout the story, there will be no actual pairings with anyone (especially not while they are only 12/13 years old). Which means, if you detest romance stories, you should be able to ignore what little does show up.

Enjoy!