Chapter Eight: Aftermath

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (but enjoy it anyway!)

Sasuke got up long before his alarm went off. He finally gave up on sleep at around 3 a.m., and turned to the only thing he knew would calm his mind: training.

Despite the fact he had gotten roughly two and a half hours of sleep total in the past 48 hours, his mind refused to rest. Images of the dead haunted him each time he closed his eyes. A crushing weight in the pit of his stomach insured he couldn't forget or ignore the things he'd seen. The things he'd done.

So, he trained. Focusing mostly on physical strength and sword-fighting, he could almost lose himself in the various repetitions and workouts. Sasuke could almost ignore the thoughts that-

Revenge seeks to destroy everything in its path.

Sasuke thrust a little harder than he intended, impaling the dummy all the way to the sword's hilt. Grunting, he pulled the chokutō free. Why can't I get her stupid words out of my head? Getting back into position, Sasuke began sparring with his dummy again – who transform into Naruto, broken and bloody, before his eyes.

Sasuke blinked, and shook his head. When he opened his eyes again, the dummy returned to its straw and wooden self.

Clenching his jaw, he refocused on the way he held the sword, the weight of it in his hands, the sound of metal scraping against wood. Sasuke fixated on his breathing, the way his muscles buzzed pleasantly, and where he stepped. Sasuke took a breath, confident that he had overcome the disagreeable thoughts and memories that kept invading his head.

Except, as the minutes passed, his mind whirled uncontrollably, unable to maintain the carefully blank state he was trying to force. As he sparred with the dummy, unwelcome faces flashed in his head.

Karin, tossed aside as though she were worthless – gritting his teeth, Sasuke slashed at the dummy.

Kakashi, with disappointment and guilt and deep, deep regret in his eyes – Sasuke swung his sword down, his grip tighter than necessary.

Itachi, with dried blood around his smiling mouth – stabbed the dummy in the head, ignoring the prickling in his eyes.

Naruto, passed out at The Valley of the End – he hesitated before piercing the dummy in the heart with a vicious snarl.

Sakura –

A roar bellowed out deep from Sasuke's chest as he destroyed the dummy in a single blow.

His breath came out in short, rapid exasperations as he surveyed the damage. What was left of the dummy laid in the grass, splintered and charred. Evidently, Sasuke accidentally conducted electricity through his blade.

I should never have killed her.

The weight of the realization made Sasuke feel numb, his mind frozen in place. Sasuke suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. Before he knew it, Sasuke stuck the chokutō in the earth. Leaning heavily on the hilt, he found he could hardly stand as his chest tightened and heaved quicker than it should.

His head began to buzz and – was his heart trying to escape? –a sharp pain went through his knees as they collapsed onto the dirt. Clutching his shirt – am I dying? – Sasuke's heart slammed in his rib cage, and continued to heave unsteady breaths as he instinctively leaned forward. He wasn't sure when or even how it happened, but Sasuke found himself lying in a fetal position next to the charred remains of the dummy. The sight made him nauseous.

I'm dying, Sasuke believed as he grasped for air, his vision blurring. I've been poisoned, I'm stuck in Tsukuyomi, and someone is killing me, and I'm dying, I'm dying, and make it stop, make it stop make it STOP –

Sasuke opened his eyes, and began coughing. Still on his side, Sasuke pulled out his handkerchief, and blew his nose. Coughing again, he rubbed his eyes and his face – and discovered them crusted with salt. The first thing that Sasuke noticed was that he was lying on the dirt of his personal training grounds. The second thing that he noticed was that the sun was unreasonably high up in the sky. Hadn't it been dark just a few moments before? Looking up at the outdoor lanterns he had put up, he saw that each of them had burned through all of the oil. Sasuke blinked; those lanterns should have had at least seven more hours left.

Sasuke bolted upright; what time was it?

His stomach cramped painfully, and he felt a little lightheaded. Sasuke groaned, knowing he needed to get up and get food before he did anything else. He attempted to grab his sword, but found he didn't quite have enough strength, so he left the chokutō where it was. Sasuke stumbled up to his kitchen, and grabbed a loaf of bread. Sitting on the stool, he slowly ate a piece dry to give himself enough strength to eat something with more substance.

Before long, Sasuke was eating a decent enough meal, and he learned that it was half past noon as he ate. Which meant he passed out after… whatever that was, a little over seven hours prior. This also meant his teammates were probably already at their training grounds. Somehow, Sasuke didn't believe that nearly dying from poison would keep Naruto from their daily training sessions. I just hope he's not being an idiot, or that Sakura would keep him from doing something stupid.

Knowing his absence would be noticed, Sasuke ate quickly and took a shower. When he finished, Sasuke discovered his eyes were red and puffy, and he frowned. Sasuke performed a basic first aid jutsu that helped reduce swelling and broken blood vessels. A minute later Sasuke looked normal, finished getting ready, and finally grabbed his sword from the dirt. Resolving to sharpen it that evening, Sasuke put the chokutō in its holster, and left to find his teammates.

On his way to the training grounds, Sasuke took each step with care, focusing on whatever he could to avoid acknowledging how pathetic he felt. He dreaded seeing them, and yet he couldn't get there fast enough. He hated it, but Sasuke felt deep within his bones a need to see Naruto okay and Sakura alive.

He heard rather than saw Naruto and Sakura sparring as he neared the training grounds, and the sound made Sasuke instantly relax. He watched as Sakura punched Naruto, who blocked it with both hands. Sasuke leaned against a tree, watching as she kicked, punched, and dodged with such ferocity that reminded him of seventeen-year-old Sakura. Naruto was having some trouble keeping up as Sakura threw another barrage of attacks, being on the defensive rather than the offensive.

She's winning, Sasuke noted.

He continued to watch as Naruto tried to sweep Sakura's feet from under her, but she grinned and jumped up, kicking Naruto's face in the process. Naruto's head whipped to the side upon contact, but landed on his hand and thrusted himself back upright. He punched Sakura in the stomach, and she grimaced – but she only moved an inch backwards. In seconds, they were back at it. Finally, Naruto had pushed Sakura back, who leapt backwards before landing on her feet, breathing heavily.

She was so… alive. He didn't think he'd ever seen her look so alive before, not since he'd been back as a twelve-year-old, at least. Maybe not even before. Was this how Naruto saw her? Sasuke would have been content to watch them spar again, but Sakura turned her eyes to Sasuke.

I should never have killed her, Sasuke thought as he watched her face go from surprised to pleased. Why did I have to kill her?

Naruto noticed Sakura relaxing her battle stance, and turned around to face Sasuke. Naruto was sporting a black eye and a wide grin as he waved. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the blonde; should he be training like that already? Even if he's feeling better, he should know to take it easy.

Suddenly feeling awkward, Sasuke walked over to them. They helped close the gap, and before he knew it, Sasuke was standing face to face with his teammates.

"Are you okay, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke stared at her; did she… know?

"You have never been late before." She followed a moment later.

Oh, Sasuke thought with relief. Of course, she would have no idea what happened; she didn't witness his weakness. She's just being Sakura, he assured himself.

"I… I am fine. Naruto, shouldn't you be in the hospital?" Sasuke asked.

"Please; I feel great, you know!" Naruto smiled with bravado.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Yes, so you keep saying. But you moved really slowly today! I think you're going too hard too soon, Naruto."

"I mean, that's… I'll be better tomorrow?" Naruto finished lamely.

Sakura rolled her eyes again, and turned to Sasuke. "The doctor said Naruto can do light training, so that's what we've been doing the last few hours. That said, I think we should maybe do something a little easier from here on out, or else this one will end up back to the hospital."

Naruto began to protest, so Sakura turned to him, resulting in a stare down. Naruto glared stubbornly, and Sakura put her hands on her hips. Sakura raised her eyebrows, and Naruto growled before huffing in defeat. Sakura smiled in triumph.

"Alright. Fine." Naruto shrugged. "Well in that case, can we focus on teamwork today? Specifically, fighting together? I probably won't do too much damage if we work together."

"Don't we kind of need an opponent though?" Sakura pointed out.

Naruto grinned, and Sasuke already regretted his life decisions.

The trio were in formation, kunai and sword drawn. They formed something like an inverted triangle: Naruto and Sasuke were positioned in front while Sakura was a few feet behind them. They analyzed their opponent, whose red eyes were narrow and lip was curled up into a hairy snarl. Naruto's hand twitched and, before their adversary could move, had him pinned down using three clones and a net.

"Now!" the Naruto clones yelled with effort.

Sakura threw her kunai right in the boar's eye while Sasuke stood on top of the animal, stabbing its back. Blood splattered up at Sasuke's face as he twisted the blade, and the boar made a pathetic snort before it stopped struggling. Sasuke steadied himself as it collapsed beneath him, flicking the blood off his blade before sheathing it.

"Stupid pig." Sakura grunted as she grabbed her kunai from the boar's eye.

When they first started their hunt, Sakura wasn't very keen on killing the boar. However, after it spat at her and nearly rammed her into a tree, Sakura suddenly didn't have any reservations. Sasuke found the whole affair pointless, but there was very little he could do to persuade Naruto on finding a new opponent once they entered the forested area.

Naruto, as Naruto as ever, bellowed in triumph, high fiving himself before dispelling the clones. "Oh man, that was great! I know what I'm gonna have for dinner tonight!"

Sasuke wiped the blood off his face using a cloth as he stepped off the large animal. Good luck with that, Sasuke thought to himself. Sasuke didn't care too much for boar meat, even when it was prepared by a professional chef. He doubted Naruto would be able to create an edible meal out of their kill, let alone in time for dinner.

"You just had to go there, didn't you, Naruto?" Sakura grimaced.

"What? What'd I say?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke supposed that now was as good a time as any to part ways with the two, and was about to leave when Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulder.

"Listen, buddy," Naruto started with a smile that kind of creeped Sasuke out. "Get a good, low fire going. If you can do that, then we can feast like kings tonight. Sakura-chan! If you can grab some local herbs, that'll help a bunch." Naruto said, turning to the pinkette.

"And why do I have to gather the herbs?" Sakura demanded, hands on hips. "If this is some sexist thing where you assume I should do it because I'm a girl, then you've got another thing coming."

"Er, no. I just assumed you would know what kinds of herbs would not kill us, because you have a crazy good memory." Naruto said, scratching the back of his neck. "Now, I know I slept through most of the lessons, but Iruka-sensei definitely taught us about good and bad plants and stuff!"

"Oh." Sakura said, looking a little red. "Then, uh, sure. I guess I can do that – wait, why are we doing this?"

"Teamwork!" Naruto exclaimed. "No, actually I just really want boar meat. I've been craving it for a while, and there's something special about roasting it yourself. It's even better when you get to share it among friends."

"So, this whole thing was just a ploy to get you pork?" Sakura asked.

"Erm, kinda? Yes?"

Sakura stared at him a moment, narrowing her eyes. Naruto's grin slipped a little in that second, and Sakura cracked a smile.

"Alright. I'll be back." She said with a shrug before leaving.

"So, Sasuke… fire?" Naruto asked with a hopeful glint in his eye.

"Fine." Sasuke conceded; it would be good practice for a long-term mission or the chunin exams, he thought.

While Naruto cleaned and gutted the boar, Sasuke gathered the appropriate wood needed. Before long, Sasuke had built an adequate setup to roast the boar. Using his fireball jutsu, Sasuke started the fire and tended to it until it was the right height. Naruto removed the hair from the boar, and Sasuke sharpened the stick that they would use to roast the pig. At that point, Sakura returned with herbs, and washed them in the nearby river. The sky had begun to turn a reddish hue when the boar – seasoned well with what Sakura found – was almost done roasting. As the trio waited, they snacked on some nuts and berries that Sakura had gathered, settling in comfortable conversation.

To help the process go faster, Sasuke used a jutsu to cook the inside as well. Although Naruto protested, Sakura reminded him that a pig of this size would take several hours and none of them wanted to wait that long. Naruto finally agreed, but with the understanding that he would be monitoring the cooking process very closely, and that Sasuke better not mess it up.

By the time the trio had their choice cuts, the sun had already gone down and only the stars, moon, and their campfire provided light.

"This… is actually good. Really good." Sakura said after a few bites. "Thank you, Naruto."

Sasuke remained silent, which Naruto took as a compliment, and declared himself a "roasting master" – much to Sakura's chagrin.

"Where did you learn how to do this, anyway?" Sakura asked.

Naruto shrugged, throwing a stick in the fire. "You learn a lot when you don't have much money or much options. Sometimes you don't get a choice, but at least you learn a lot."

Sakura's face softened, and leaned forward. "Naruto…"

"It's okay." Naruto waved. "Really. A lot has changed, and I'm okay. I have you guys and I have Kakashi-sensei."

A sad smile that didn't suit Naruto fell on his lips, but it didn't last long. He started rambling on about how when they all got older, they should go to the southwest part of Fire country because he heard that there were some great places to train and eat there. Sasuke listened to their conversations, watching the flames and the stars. Soon, he and the others found themselves flat on their backs around the fire.

"I want this to last forever." He heard Sakura murmur sleepily. "Let's do this again, sometime."

Naruto made a noise of agreement, and Sasuke listened as their breathing began to slow in steady, deep breaths. Naruto snored softly and Sakura said something incoherent, and he knew they were asleep. Not quite willing to go to sleep yet, Sasuke watched the stars. He always preferred the night sky away from the city, because the stars and moon showed brighter.

He recalled Itachi telling him a story about how the stars were a guide for ninja when they got lost, and teaching him how to track the time and position before he even went into the academy. They would lay out on the ground for hours, talking like Sakura and Naruto were doing earlier.

What am I doing? Sasuke thought to himself. Playing with these two isn't going to further my goal… Unwilling to leave, Sasuke wondered why he had stayed in the first place. It must be because I'm doing things differently this time, to achieve my revenge.

Sasuke turned over on his side so that the flames warmed his back and drifted into a sleep more peaceful than he had in years.

Sasuke woke up to Naruto attempting to leave quietly. The sun was just rising, and Naruto was in the middle of writing a note when Sasuke sat up. Sakura was still asleep, looking as peaceful as ever. Good, Sasuke found himself thinking; her nights shouldn't be ruined with nightmares yet. She curled further into herself, covering half of her face with a gently fisted hand in the process. Sasuke looked back over to Naruto, and thought that he looked strangely old as he finished putting his stuff away.

Naruto noticed Sasuke's questioning gaze, and he shrugged.

"I hafta do something today." Naruto whispered with surprising quietness. "I almost forgot… anyway, would you mind telling Sakura-chan when she wakes up? It's still early, and we don't have any missions today."

Sasuke nodded, and laid back down, listening as Naruto left. He supposed he should be training, but Sasuke found he didn't really want to. Not yet, at least. Sasuke took out the book about chakra control that he was reading – which was how Sakura found Sasuke when she finally woke up an hour and a half later. Sasuke didn't look up from his book as Sakura rose, stretching as she did so.

"Where's Naruto?" she yawned.

"He said he needed to do something." Sasuke said, turning a page.

Sakura hummed, and then yawned again. "I can't believe I actually slept out here…"

"Wouldn't be the first time you slept outside." Sasuke pointed out, not taking his eyes off his book.

"That's different. That was after training, and being exhausted." She spoke. Then after a moment, asked, "Did you stay for me?"

"Hn." Sasuke responded, hoping she wouldn't read too much into it.

Although Sakura had stopped pestering him about dates, and mostly treated him like a normal person, Sasuke didn't want to accidentally give her false hope. He needed to keep her at a distance, for both of their sakes.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun. Too bad Naruto couldn't have stayed, then we all could have gotten breakfast together."

Technically, Sasuke supposed, we could go without him. But if the thought hadn't crossed her mind, then he wasn't about to be the one who put it there.

"But since he isn't here, I guess I can take the opportunity to ask." Sakura began, scooching closer to Sasuke.

Apparently, Sasuke thought too soon. Well, she hasn't been annoying lately, so would it really be that bad? Sasuke prepared himself for the question, but Sakura remained in thoughtful silence.

"Are you… Are you okay?" Sakura finally asked.

Sasuke looked up from his book in surprise.

"I mean," she blushed, trying to search for the words. "You've been acting weird since yesterday, like something is weighing heavily on you. Do… Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Sasuke said, nearly wincing at how harsh he sounded.

Sakura gulped, but she had a careful sort of expression on her face. Sasuke scowled; what would she need to be cautious about?

"Okay, I wasn't sure. It's just that, you've been looking like you killed someone's puppy and-"

Sasuke closed his book, putting it in his pack; he needed to get going, now that she was awake.

"Sasuke-kun." Sakura whispered, and Sasuke flicked his eyes back on her. "Please, you can talk to me. I… I know that in the past I may have distracted you, or, or been annoying, but I am your friend. I don't want to see you keep being eaten up by it, whatever it is, and I know that you're not going to talk to Naruto, either."

Sasuke rose from his spot, dusting himself off.

Sakura huffed loudly before getting on her feet. "Sasuke-kun. Can't you at least say something? It's fine if you don't want to talk about it, but you have to at least say so!"

"Nothing is wrong." Sasuke told her, looking around the campsite to see if he forgot anything.

"Okay, that's a lie." Sakura said, causing Sasuke to return his attention to her. "What, do you not respect me enough to at least tell me the truth?" she demanded, hands on her hips.

A look of uncertainty washed over her face, and her hands twitched, but ultimately stayed in place. I have to go, the thought overtook any other that may have been rolling around in his head. Sasuke turned away from her, his body moving on its own. I can't stay here, I can't do this.

"Sasuke!" Sakura yelled from behind him.

Sasuke froze, and suddenly he wasn't in the forest. Instead, he was in Konoha, the night he left for Orochimaru, with her desperately begging him to stay.

"What do I owe you?" Sasuke snarled, whirling around.

"I… I'm your teammate! I'm your friend!" Sakura said, scrunching her eyebrows together. "You…" Sakura closed her eyes, breathed, and then opened them again with determination. "Sasuke-kun, you owe me your respect if nothing else."

"I don't need your help, Sakura." Sasuke told her.

"No? Well, you need someone'shelp. Sasuke-kun, can't you see that whatever it is, is killing you?" Sakura implored, stepping forward with her hands out before her.

"Whatare you talking about?" Sasuke nearly hissed, his jaw clenching together.

Instead of recoiling like he thought she would, sadness and compassion filled her eyes. Sasuke stepped back.

"I'm not an idiot, Sasuke-kun. I can tell when you're upset, which is often, and I can see that haunted look on your face. You think I can't see the dark circles under your eyes? You think I can't see how tense you are, allthe time? You think I don't notice the way you look at me, as if you have done some horrible wrong to me?" Sakura paused, and shook her head. "Sasuke-kun, you're not as good at hiding as you think you are."

"I don't hide."

"Seriously? That? That is your takeaway? Sasuke-kun, I l–" Sakura cut herself off, biting her tongue. "All I'm saying is, if you need a friend to talk to, I'm here. Whenever you are ready."

"I don't need you." Sasuke insisted; why was this girl pushing back so hard? He could take care of himself; he'd been doing it since he was seven years old.

Sakura's eyes widened a moment, and she froze. Then, her face hardened, and her eyes grew cold as she crossed her arms.

"Oh, wow." Sakura said, puffing out a scoff. "You don't need me. Okay. Well, good luck on becoming a ninja with only Naruto then, because in case you've forgotten, you need to be on a three-man team."

I didn't mean it like that, Sasuke thought. Didn't she understand?

"Sakura, you do not need to concern yourself with me. Focus on yourself and get stronger."

"Right. Because I'm such a burden, right?" She said, her voice tight.

What? Where did she get that idea? Sasuke shook his head.

"No, because I can't guarantee that Naruto and I will always be there to protect you." Sasuke explained. How could she not understand?

Sasuke watched her eyes widen, her nostrils flare, and lips press together tightly. "I don't get you Sasuke. One moment you're treating me like an enemy, and the next I'm someone you and Naruto need to protect. Which is it, Sasuke-kun? Am I a friend or a foe to you?" Sakura asked, her eyes fierce – a shadow of her future self.

Sasuke couldn't answer.

A gust of wind blew through a moment later and Sakura gave a humorless laugh and started to turn away. Stopping, she turned back to Sasuke and glared at him square in his eyes.

"Oh, and, I don't need your protection, Sasuke-kun. Despite what you think, I'm not that fragile." Sakura turned her face so Sasuke wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes, but it was too late. "I'll see you around, Sasuke-kun."

And with that, he watched her walk off. When did she get so… Biting back a curse, Sasuke hit a nearby tree. Why didn't she understand? She was so vulnerable, and he was still so weak.

She didn't need to know the inner workings of his mind. She didn't need to know why every single second of every single day was spent fighting against soul-rotting hopelessness.

Sakura didn't need to know that he would look at her, and would see her dead twice over. She didn't know, and she didn't need to know. No, it was his own burden to bear, and there was no way he would be sharing it with anyone. Especially not with her.

Sasuke made sure to give Sakura plenty of time to get back in town, lest he accidentally run into her, before returning to his apartment. As he made the journey, Sasuke ignored the uncomfortable feeling that was beginning to blossom.

She'll get over it, Sasuke told himself. She always does.