Author's note: I do not own Harry Potter.
James burst into his house, letting the door bang shut behind him. He stopped in the entry way for a second, fisting both his hands in his already wild hair, not sure what to think or feel or do. Merlin, he had to do something!
"James?" Lily hurried down the stairs, drawn by the sound of the door. Harry, fortunately, was spending the day with Hermione or he might have been out there too. "What happened? What did the minister want?"
"I… he…" James couldn't say it.
Lily reached up, gently taking a hold of his hands and disentangling them from his hair. She led him to the sofa, and they sat down together. "Take your time," she whispered, holding his hands between hers and tracing circles on them with her thumbs.
Taking a deep breath, James admitted it. "Sirius escaped."
Lily froze.
"Sirius escaped Azkaban," James repeated it, though it didn't sound any more believable the second, or third time. When Fudge had called him into his office, James hadn't known what to expect, but it wasn't the minister saying that he wanted James to hear it from him before the news hit the papers, and Sirius had escaped, presumably with dark magic learned from Voldemort. Now, almost a half hour later, he still didn't know what to think.
"How?" Lily whispered.
He shook his head. "I don't know. No one does. No one knows how, or why now." He pulled back, running one hand through his hair again. Lily kept hold of the other one.
"What are we going to do?" she asked.
James huffed, suddenly consumed with restless energy. He got swiftly to his feet and started pacing around the room. "Nothing," he said, through clenched teeth. "The minister doesn't want me involved. Says I'm too close to the situation." Lily didn't say anything, but her expression told her thoughts. "Don't tell me you think he's right."
"Oh, come on, James, do you really think you'd be able to track Sirius down without having trouble one way or another?" Lily said. "You've been flipping back and forth on what you think about this since we woke up."
That was very true. It had been two years since he had woken up in the hospital to the news that his best friend was either a traitor or straight up mad. While his first few months had been entirely devoted to his son, and the necessary steps one took when coming back from the dead, as soon as Harry had gone to Hogwarts, James had had nothing to distract him. He had thought through the problem, what he knew and what he suspected, over and over, sometimes unable to sleep all night through worrying about it, but no matter how much he thought, no matter how much he raged that there had to be some mistake, those were the only two options.
Either Sirius had brought Voldemort to Peter, and Voldemort had gotten the information from him (he wouldn't blame Wormtail for that, he hadn't wanted to be secret keeper in the first place, and how many people could refuse Voldemort to his face?), or Peter, another of his best friends, had betrayed them, and Sirius had snapped and murdered him and twelve other innocent people (if true, there would still be no legal way to get him out of Azkaban).
If Sirius was the traitor, why didn't he just be secret keeper and tell Voldemort himself? Unless he was trying to cover his tracks, so he could keep spying, which was risky but made sense, and if James knew Sirius at all, which he might not, he knew he loved to take risks. While possibly surprising Voldemort left Peter alive after getting the information, it wasn't completely out of character either, especially if he was in a hurry to deal with the prophesy. Then Peter, grief and guilt stricken, had had one of his sudden bursts of courage and gone after Sirius the traitor and gotten killed for it.
The theory made sense with the evidence—Peter's words and death, Sirius' laughter, even the personalities of both of them. Except, of course, that Sirius was a traitor. No matter how much James dissected their entire friendship from the first train ride to Hogwarts to the last time he saw him, he couldn't imagine Sirius betraying him for any reason.
It was equally implausible to him that Peter would betray him. Again, he had searched through his memories for a sign, for something not right, and had come up empty. Peter had been getting stressed, run down, jumpy near the end… but that was the war. They were all feeling it; Remus had been self-isolating, and Sirius had gotten downright paranoid. And if Peter had been the traitor, surely he would have jumped at the chance to be secret keeper instead of only taking it reluctantly? If he had been the traitor all along, why had it taken so long for Voldemort to find them?
Could James' own death have driven Sirius so crazy he would kill twelve innocent people? If Peter was a traitor, he could understand Sirius killing him, even if he didn't agree with it, but the others? Sure, it was possible (it had to be; it had happened), but James had a hard time believing it. Truthfully, he didn't want to. Plenty of blame lay with himself in both scenarios, but somehow, the idea that his own death made Sirius a murderer made him feel worse.
"I know," James sighed. "Guess I should have gone to Azkaban when I'd had the chance," he said, with self-recrimination.
Lily shrugged. "Maybe," she said, without inflection. "But you don't know that would have made anything better. You can't beat yourself up over might-have-beens."
Lily had never given him an opinion on whether he should go visit Sirius or not. Sirius, of course, was the only person alive who knew the whole story, and after Harry had gone to his first year at Hogwarts, James had wavered, determined one day to go to Azkaban and ask, and equally determined the next not to go. There was no guarantee Sirius would tell him the truth, and James no longer trusted himself to be able to tell the difference. Whether the traitor was Sirius or Peter, either way, he hadn't known.
And what if Sirius did tell the truth? James didn't think he could handle hearing hatred and betrayal directly from his best friend, nor did he think he could stand hearing justification or guilt for the twelve murders, not when he could do nothing about it.
So, despite railing against himself for being a coward, he went back and forth, constantly debating whether to go or leave well enough alone, and Lily had refused to advise, insisting it was something he had to choose himself. And James had kept putting it off and delaying, allowing his new life and Harry constantly facing danger at school to distract him. And now, the decision had been made for him.
James finally stopped his pacing around the room, staring at Lily. "Fudge thinks he broke out to kill Harry," said James, abruptly.
Lily's eyes narrowed. "Why?" she said, her voice suddenly hard.
"The dementors told him he's been saying 'he's at Hogwarts' over and over in his sleep."
There was a moment of heavy silence. Lily's hands were clasped in her lap so tight her knuckles were white. "So much for a quiet year this year," Lily said at last, in a flat, bitter, little voice.
James let out a breath that was more scoff than laugh. He knew, because he'd been thinking about it, that there were very few other ways to interpret that fact. He scowled at the floor. "If he hurts this family, I will never forgive him," he whispered, in a voice expressionless except for how emphatic it was.
Lily covered her eyes with one hand. "Merlin, what are we going to tell Harry?"
"Fudge suggested we not tell him anything," said James, still kind of irritated the minister of magic was telling him how to parent his son. "But I'm going to tell him the truth."
One piercing green eye visible between her fingers, Lily looked up at him. "You want to tell him about this, but you don't want to tell him about the prophecy?"
A cold rush passed through him like he'd just walked through a ghost. "That's different," he said. "The prophesy changes everything. It shouldn't, but it will. This is just…"
"Business as usual?" Lily cut him off, sharply, lowering her hand and looking up fully. "A mass murderer might be after you, but that's no real news, is it?"
The sad thing was that it was true; it wasn't like their son hadn't nearly died facing Voldemort two years in a row. "You don't want to tell him about the prophecy either," James snapped.
Lily looked down. "There's no hurry as long as Voldemort isn't back," she muttered. "I just want him to be a kid, for as long as he can."
Sighing, James came and sat heavily next to her. They agreed on that at least.
"We're getting off topic," Lily said, briskly. "How exactly are we going to tell Harry about this? He doesn't know anything about Si… Black. You didn't want to talk about it."
James sighed, rubbing both hands over his face. He was so tired. "This time tomorrow Black's escape will be all over the news. I'll tell him then. It won't be difficult to believe a supporter of Voldemort would want to kill him. As long as it keeps him from looking for trouble like the last couple years…" he trailed off.
"And what if he hears the truth from someone else?" Lily asked, her tone carefully even.
"Who's going to tell?" said James. "Only half the Order knew he was our secret keeper, and outside the Order, I'm pretty sure only Fudge and Crouch knew about the Fidelius Charm, and only Dumbledore and Remus know about the switch. Come on, Lily," he looked her right in the eyes. "If he knew what we think Black did, do you really think he's just going to… do nothing?"
After a short pause, Lily nodded slowly. "You're right," she said. Then, she leaned forward, her eyes blazing green flames. "But Dumbledore better have some protection in place," she hissed. "Because I swear to you, the next person who hurts our son, I'm going to kill them myself."
James' mouth twitched into a slight smile, impressed, as ever, with her protectiveness. "I'll help," he said.
Author's note: So there it is. James' thoughts for the past two years on the Sirius situation. I hope it lived up to y'all's expectations. From what I've seen, most of the fandom seems to think that Sirius' supposed betrayal was horrifying, but Peter's was just 'oh we should have seen that coming,' but I've never believed that was the case. I don't think it would be any easier for James (or Remus) to believe Peter was a traitor than it was to believe Sirius one, and it would be just as hard to accept.
Also, why does James not tell anyone about Sirius being an animagus? There are several reasons but I think the two biggest is that James is, as always, protecting Remus, as he would probably face the most consequences for their extracurricular activities. He is also protecting himself as he is also an illegal animagus. Fudge may not arrest him now, but James probably knows him well enough to know if his opinion changes, he might arrest him later (see how he treats Harry's underage magic in books 3 vs. 5), and I don't think James would risk going to Azkaban, especially now that Voldemort has proved a real and present danger to Harry despite being half dead.
As for Harry being with Hermione, I think he actually spends more time with her and Ron during the summer now that he has parents willing to take him/let him go places. Ron is in Egypt with his family, and while I think Hermione went to France this summer, we'll just say she's back by now.