I know it will come as a big surprise, but I do not own Harry Potter.
Happy Easter everyone!
"James!" James hurried down the stairs into the living room at Lily's scream, wand at the ready.
"What's happened?" he cried, looking around for an attacker. Since the Death Eaters had broken out, not only had James and all the other aurors been working overtime, but everyone had been much more cautious and on edge.
There didn't seem to be anything wrong, however. Just Lily standing there, clutching a paper. In fact, it looked like a copy of the Quibbler, which James was sure they didn't subscribe to. Lily shoved it into his hands, beaming. "Read that!" she said. "It's brilliant!"
James, still confused, looked down and almost dropped the paper. A huge picture of his son was on the front cover captioned with "Harry Potter Speaks Out at Last: The Truth about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and the Night I Saw Him Return!"
A broad grin spread over James face as he skimmed the article. He looked up at Lily's delighted face. "That's my boy!"
"So, Dumbledore's gone, and that toad is in charge of Hogwarts?"
"That's right. They found out about the DA, and since it was called Dumbledore's Army, he was able to twist it, so no one was expelled."
"Damn."
"Well, on the plus side, Dumbledore will be able to work full time for the order now."
Lily snuck through the castle halls. Remus and Sirius had spoken to Harry somehow, and, while they were extremely vague about why Harry had contacted them, they had asked her to try and convince Severus to start giving Harry occlumency lessons again. Of course, since she had no idea why he had stopped (it must have been serious if he had) she wasn't sure what she was walking into. There was no reason why she shouldn't be at Hogwarts, technically, but with Umbridge in charge, it would be best if she got in and out with no one being the wiser. Hence, the sneaking. James would be proud.
Lily knocked on the door to Severus' office, and when there was no answer, she opened the door and went in. It was empty. She sat down in the chair across from the desk. Five minutes later, she heard the door open behind her, and turned in her chair to face it with a smile. Severus looked wary at the sight of her.
"Hi Sev," she said.
He nodded at her, crossing the room to sit behind his desk. "I suppose you are here to get me to continue your son's occlumency lessons?" Lily nodded. "How did you find out?"
Lily shrugged. "I'm really not quite sure. Remus told me, and he said Harry told him and Sirius, but they didn't tell me how or what else they talked about. Somehow, I don't think he went to the trouble to talk to them just to tell them you stopped teaching him."
"No, I don't suppose that he would," Severus said with a sardonic smile.
"So," said Lily, "Why did you stop giving him occlumency lessons?"
Severus leaned back in his chair, studying Lily as if he was actually considering not answering. Lily raised her eyebrows at him. She had come here for answers, and she would get them.
With a long sigh, he began. "Before every session, I removed certain memories into the Pensieve in case he managed to penetrate my mind. It has happened before when he used a shield charm."
Lily nodded. Even as skilled an occlumens as Severus could not force a person from his mind immediately, especially when caught by surprise, and Harry was not a legilimens to control what memories he found.
"We were beginning our lesson a few weeks ago when Mr. Malfoy came into my office to fetch me to help Umbridge," with a sneer on the name, "with a situation. I told Potter we would continue the lesson the next day and left. When I returned, I found him in the Pensieve." Severus' voice was carefully controlled, but Lily could see the cold rage in her old friend.
Lily groaned, putting her elbows on the table, and grabbing her hair. She could only imagine what Severus had decided Harry could not see for various reasons. How could Harry have been so inconsiderate? Looking into someone's mind was intrusive, a violation. "What did he see?" she asked.
There was such a long silence that Lily looked up at him through her hair. Severus was avoiding her eyes. "He saw the day by the lake in fifth year," he said, reluctantly.
The clarification of year was unnecessary. There had been any number of days by the lake while they were at school, but only one would go down in history as the day. And there probably was not another day by the lake which would be protected by the Pensieve. And there probably could not be a worse day for Harry to see because Lily knew her son, and now she knew why he had gone to Sirius and Remus instead of to her and James. That was a day that had not shown any of them in a good light.
"Severus," she said, raising her head and releasing her hair, "I am so..."
"Don't," he said, shaking his head.
"Harry wouldn't know what to do with that," Lily said, "He wouldn't have approved. James..."
"Lily," said Severus, raising a hand, "Stop."
And Lily did. Because nothing she could say could make things better. She hadn't come here to drag up bad memories. But then, wasn't that what Harry's mere presence always did for Severus? She knew her friend's homelife had been horrible, just as bad as Sirius'. Hogwarts was supposed to be an escape for him but had only turned into a new torture through Slytherin politics and the efforts of her own husband and his friends. She knew now that Severus had turned to the dark arts and Voldemort in an effort to gain control of his own life, to never be weak or helpless again.
Harry was a walking, talking reminder of everything left behind. Of the days of bullying at Hogwarts, and the mistakes Severus had made in part motivated by them. And a reminder of the friendship he had lost. Yes, they had regained it after her 'death,' but it wasn't the same. Lily knew that she had been Severus' only friend for the longest time. Even now, he had very few. She knew he had once loved her. She did not know if he still did; he had never once let her see anything more than friendship between them since she was married, for which she was very grateful.
But she felt that she understood the reason her friend despised her son. And how could she ask him to keep giving him occlumency lessons when it caused them both pain? But how she could she not ask when so much depended upon it?
"He still needs to know occlumency," she said, quietly.
Severus made an impatient gesture. "Some people are not cut out for the art," he nearly snapped. "Your son has made very little improvement over the months we have practiced. He is not trying. Perhaps Dumbledore would have been able to teach him, but..."
He stopped as both considered Dumbledore, who had been heard of so little since he had disappeared.
"I do not believe further lessons would do more than irritate both of us," Severus continued, more calmly. "He knows enough to continue on his own should he put forth the effort. I'm sorry, Lily, but I will not continue to give him occlumency lessons. I doubt they would make him safer, and I cannot trust him to not intrude upon my memories and discover something more damaging to himself or the Dark Lord than my worst memory."
Lily nodded. She seriously doubted that Harry would want to look deeper into the Pensieve after what he saw the last time, but Severus had no reason to trust that. He had done so much to protect Harry; she trusted that if he didn't think further occlumency lessons would help, they wouldn't. She stood. "You're all right?"
Severus stood as well and gave her a thin but genuine smile. "As alright as anyone can be with the hag as Headmistress."
Lily chuckled. "Well, I'd better sneak away before she finds out I'm here. Good luck."
"We'll need it."
I know that Severus Snape in general and his and Lily's friendship in particular inspire strong emotions in people. This is some of how I interpret Snape's character and I'm trying to portray his side of this story here, as we get Harry's in the book. I hope I have portrayed both Lily and Snape, their friendship, and the situation with tact.
That being said, please remember there will be no character bashing in this fic of any character. If all you have to comment is how Lily is a terrible person/mother for maintaining a friendship with Snape or that Snape is a horrible, abusive character with no other complexity, please don't. You will only waste your own time and make me defensive or sad.
Other feedback, comments, or interpretations of the scene/character motivations in the original book or in my story are, of course, very welcome.