Remus was coming to join the Potter's for Christmas Eve. Lily had invited Tonks, but she refused. They were going to the Burrow for Christmas day, but otherwise the Potters were just hanging around at home. It made the first year that the trio had not been together for Christmas since first year when Ron and Harry had stayed at Hogwarts. It worried Lily. She didn't want them to break up; she'd never seen friends as close as them. Although the Marauders probably came close. She didn't want the trio to fall apart like they did, especially over something as silly as a girlfriend or boyfriend they're probably not going to see again.
Tonight, though, Harry was telling his parents and Remus about a conversation he'd overheard between Severus and Malfoy.
"...and Snape dragged Malfoy off to talk, and I followed them under the invisibility cloak. Snape said something about how Malfoy can't afford mistakes, Malfoy denied it, Snape said it was clumsy and foolish, and Malfoy said that Katie Bell must've had an enemy no one knew about. Snape said that 'Aunt Bellatrix' has been teaching him Occlumency and asked what thoughts he was trying to keep from 'your master,' which has to be Voldemort, right? Anyway, Snape accused him of avoiding him, and told him that walking around without lookouts or backup were elementary mistakes. Malfoy talked about Snape trying to steal his glory, Snape asked him where he thought Snape would be if he didn't know how to act. Oh yeah, Snape told him he promised his mother he would protect him. He made an Unbreakable Oath, or something..."
Lily knocked over the glass she was reaching for but managed to catch it before it crashed.
"An Unbreakable Vow?" James asked, sharply.
"Yeah," said Harry, looking from one to another of his parents. "Why? What happens if you break an Unbreakable Vow?"
The adults exchanged glances. "You die," said Remus, neutrally.
Lily took a gulp of butterbeer. "Have you considered that Severus may have been saying all these things in an attempt to find out what Malfoy was up to?" She asked, calmly. She didn't feel too calm though. What if Severus had made an Unbreakable Vow? She didn't think for a minute that he was betraying the Order, but... did he really care if he died?
"You didn't hear him," Harry protested, "No one's that good an actor, not even Snape."
Lily narrowed her green eyes at her son. She had put up with a lot of Harry accusing her friend of various evil activities over the years, but there really was only so much she could take.
"It's not our business to know what Severus is up to," Remus said, smoothly interjecting before things could heat up, "It's Dumbledore's business. Dumbledore trusts him, and that ought to be good enough for all of us."
"But just say, just say Dumbledore's wrong about Snape..." Harry could not let it go.
"If you don't trust Severus, the least you can do is trust Dumbledore's judgement," Lily said, stiffly, struggling to keep her temper. She never wanted to lose it with Harry, especially after how the Dursley's raised him the first ten years of his life.
"But Dumbledore can make mistakes," Harry protested, "He said so himself. And do you honestly like Snape?" He appealed to his father and Remus.
"I neither like nor dislike Severus," said Remus, "No, Harry, I am speaking the truth. We shall never be bosom friends, perhaps," James snorted, "after all that happened between James and Sirius and Severus. There is too much bitterness there. But I do not forget that during the year I taught at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, made it perfectly, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon."
James nodded. "The way Sirius and I treated Snape while we were at school is something I still regret," he said. "I don't pretend to know all that was going on with him, but it was unacceptable. Snape and I struck up a truce after I came out of a coma, and while, as Moony says, we won't ever be the best of pals, but we do trust each other enough to know neither of us will let serious harm come to the other. I do not believe he is a traitor." Lily knew that James could not tell Harry the real reason he trusted Severus; that he had been the one to convince Voldemort to give her a chance to step aside, which in turn saved Harry's life. She also knew that Harry blamed Severus for Sirius' death, and it was not a wound easily forgiven.
"Well, he let 'serious harm' befall Sirius," Harry pointed out, bitterly, as if he had read her mind.
James sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sirius would have gone to the Department of Mysteries no matter what Snape had or hadn't said."
Harry changed his argument; not, Lily knew, because he had been convinced, but because he hated discussing Sirius' death with anyone, least of all his dad. "And he 'accidentally' let slip that you were a werewolf, so you had to leave!" He rounded on Remus.
"The news would have leaked out anyway," Remus said, shrugging. "We both know he wanted my job, but he could have wreaked much worse damage on me by tampering with the potion. He kept me healthy. I must be grateful."
"Maybe he didn't dare mess with the potion with Dumbledore watching!" Harry said.
"That's enough," said Lily, standing. "I think it's about time we wrap things up. Eggnog, and then bed." She headed to the kitchen to get the drinks.
She caught the tail end of the new conversation as she came out.
"I don't know," said Harry, "I never checked."
"Well, perhaps that will give you some clue as to when he was at Hogwarts," said Remus.
"When who was at Hogwarts?" She asked, handing out the glasses and sitting down.
"Just someone I found in a book," Harry shrugged, "It's nothing, it's not that important."
Lily narrowed her eyes and looked at James. He, however, looked rather amused and made a dismissive gesture. Maybe it wasn't so important after all.
"So, what have you been up to?" Harry asked Remus.
"Oh, I've been underground," he answered, "Almost literally."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked. James' expression had taken on a stony quality. He hated Remus' job. Lily couldn't blame him. Sure, it was absolutely necessary, but living with werewolves always seemed to set Remus back in his opinion of himself and his place in society.
"I have been living among my fellows, my equals." Case in point. "Werewolves," Remus explained when Harry looked confused. "Nearly all of them are on Voldemort's side. Dumbledore needed a spy and here I was, readymade." There was a definite note of bitterness in his voice, but, despite his self-loathing, Remus was never one to complain. As proved by his next words. "I do not complain. It is necessary work, and who can do it better than I? It hasn't been easy gaining their trust, however. I bear the unmistakable signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing and sometimes killing, to eat."
"How come they like Voldemort?"
"They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life," said Remus.
"Which isn't likely," said James, "No matter what he says, Voldemort is not tolerant of 'half-breeds.'" He put air quotes around the phrase.
"That is true," Remus nodded, "And I have tried explaining that to them, more or less. But it is hard to argue with Greyback out there..."
It was James' turn to knock over his drink, although he was not quick enough to catch it. "You didn't say Greyback was there," he accused, as Lily waved her wand to clean up the spill.
Remus calmly took a sip of his own drink before he replied. "It was unnecessary. Besides, you know he is influential in the werewolf community. It is only natural I should run into him occasionally."
"Who's Greyback?" Harry asked, before James could retort, looking between his fuming father and Remus.
"You haven't heard of him?" Remus' hands closed convulsively in his lap, a move not missed by either Lily or James.
"Fenrir Greyback is probably..."
"Definitely," James interrupted, coldly.
"The most savage werewolf alive today," Lily continued, as if he hadn't said anything.
"He regards it as his mission in life to bite and to contaminate as many people as possible; he wants to create enough werewolves to overcome the wizards," Remus said, "Voldemort has promised him prey in return for his services. Greyback specializes in children." Lily shifted, and James looked about ready to break something. Harry was listening with rapt attention and not a little disgust. "Bite them young, he says, and raise them away from their parents." James visibly paled. The idea of what could have happened to Remus if that had happened to him wasn't pleasant to Lily either. It was news as well; she had never heard Remus talk about Greyback before or what he had found out about the werewolf. "Raise them to hate normal wizards," Remus continued. "Voldemort has threatened to unleash him upon people's sons and daughters; it is a threat that usually produces good results."
Remus paused, considering, then said, "It was Greyback who bit me."
"What?" said Harry, "When, when you were a kid, you mean?"
"Yes. My father had offended him. I did not know, for a very long time, the identity of werewolf who had attacked me; I even felt pity for him, thinking that he had had no control, knowing by then how it felt to transform."
Remus really was an amazing person, whether he could see it or not, Lily thought. Who else could feel pity for the one who condemned them to a horrible affliction, willingly or not?
"But Greyback is not like that," Remus went on. "At the full moon, he positions himself close to victims, ensuring that he is near enough to strike. He plans it all. And this is the man Voldemort is using to marshal the werewolves. I cannot pretend that my particular brand of reasoned argument is making much headway against Greyback's insistence that we werewolves deserve blood, that we ought to revenge ourselves on normal people."
"You are normal!" Harry said, fiercely, before either of his parents could voice their own protests. "You've just got a... a problem."
Remus burst out laughing; even James smiled. "Did you tell him that?" He asked. James shook his head. "Your father called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly-behaved rabbit."
The mood lightened, the conversation turned to happier topics for a while, before everyone stood up, ready to go to bed, or in Remus' case, leave.
"Why don't you stay here tonight, Remus?" James invited.
For a brief flash, Lily caught a glimpse of a mirror image to Tonks' look when they had asked her to stay months ago; the expression of a person looking at something they believed they could never have. "No, thanks, James. I'd better get going. I'll see you all at the Burrow tomorrow." And then he was gone.
James sighed, obviously frustrated. "Do you ever get the impression that Remus is avoiding me?"
"Why do you say that?" Lily asked.
James gestured toward the shut door. "I think he's afraid I'll talk to him about Tonks."
Lily's mouth twitched. "Are you going to talk to him about Tonks?"
"I would, but he never gives me a chance!"
Lily did smile then, although it was rather sad. "Remus knows you better than anyone, except possibly me. He probably knows you want to talk to him about that. James, neither of them want us to interfere."
James ran a hand through his hair. "Lily, it's tearing them apart. Remus loves her, so much. So much that I can't believe it took me so long to see it, and he refuses to do anything about it. And him hanging around those werewolves isn't helping matters! I can't believe Dumbledore sent him in there all alone again! And there's no way to extract him from there if he needs it! And did you hear the way he talked about Greyback? It sounds like he's around a lot, and he's the last person I want Remus near!" James kicked the table.
"James," Lily took his arm, trying to calm him down. "Remus can take care of himself. He's perfectly capable..."
"I know he's perfectly capable, that's not the point!" James almost shouted. He took a deep breath, visibly working to get back under control. "You, Harry, and the Marauders. You're my family. Protecting you all is my job, and I've done a poor job so far."
"James," Lily breathed, "What happened on Halloween was not your fault. Neither is Peter's choices. Or what happened to Sirius. None of what happened to us is on you."
James shook his head, not looking at her. "There are three people alive today who I care about more than anything. I don't know what I'd do if I lost any of you. I can't."
Lily wanted more than anything to say that nothing was going to happen to any of them, but she couldn't force herself to. It wouldn't help anyway. James would know the words were empty. Instead, she grabbed his hand tightly and stepped into his field of vision. "Right here," she said, holding up their clasped hands, staring into his eyes, speaking insistently, "Right now! We are here. We're all together. That's what we need to focus on, not on what might happen!"
There was a moment of silence. Then, James let out a shaky breath and smiled at her. "You're right." He said.
"I'm always right," said Lily, smiling.
"How could I forget?" James said. He leaned down. "Thank you," he murmured against her lips before kissing her.
Tomorrow was Christmas. Today, they were in each other's arms. This was no time for worry.