Reckoning Arc: Gratitude

He wasn't there.

Yuina looked at the table he used most often. The wooden carving wasn't there so he wasn't away on mission.

She was going to clean up her area. Hopefully he would drop by. She didn't know where else he spent his time.

She looked at her stack of notes. She picked one up with her left hand and sighed. Laboratory work was no longer her job. She was going to have to scale back at least to her pre-genin levels. Probably more. Progressing on her other skills even a little quicker is worth it. Faster is faster.

It hurt. In time of whirling chaos, the lab had been like an old comforting friend. Its own little pocket dimension away from most of the world. However, living was more important. She needed to be strong enough to not die.

Hadn't she asked Orochimaru to do just that? Make her strong enough to not die. The more the thought about it the worse it got.

Yuina couldn't do much while recovering, so she considered indulging a little longer. Make an explosive or something. Throwing that would surely blow a person up enough to secure her safety.

Smash.

Or not.

The beaker she tried to place in the crate to move more easily slipped through her fingers.

She stared at her right hand that betrayed her. The tips of her fingers were no longer numb, but some of her arm muscle's nervous response still wasn't back to normal.

Yuina grabbed a broom to sweep up the glass then properly disposed of it, before going back to putting away the things she wouldn't need away. Which was most of the things laid out. There were a couple things she needed to finish up though. It had been a long process to make a few of the substances.

She then began sorting through her notes when Orochimaru finally came.

"You came. Are you alright?"

"You're the injured one."

There was no way he didn't know what she meant. She watched him do his routine as normal.

Orochimaru had somewhat of a stoic disposition. Externally at least. Distant. Quiet. Always at an arm's length away. It never bothered her even if it did sometimes make it challenging to read him. There were subtleties of when he had interest and excitement, but those who didn't spend time with him would probably attribute those differences as stoicism too.

She hadn't realized it at the time, but Orochimaru's camaraderie with Jiraiya made more sense with time. Orochimaru didn't mind being alone. He didn't hate people but he also didn't feel the need to seek out the company of others. Therefore, it wasn't odd that those he was closest too had either forced their way into his life or people he regularly had to spend a lot of time with.

It was kind of like family. As long as there wasn't anything major to negatively effect those relationships, it was only natural for people to grow close, or at least hold some fondness.

That's what she thought at least.

Or maybe that was wishful thinking on her part.

"I meant what I said back there. I'm still a long way from being strong enough I need to re-evaluate my learning plan, but that has nothing to do with you." She believed it, but she also valued finding her shortcomings because if they were shortcomings, it meant change was possible as it was within her control. The feeling that more can be done with her life was infinitely better than waiting around for the external factors to improve.

There was still something else important she needed to say.

"Thank you for saving me." A moment later and she would have been killed by the nin. If it had been someone else she may not have healed. She knew Orochimaru knew a bit of medical jutsu, but as far as she knew the vast amount of his medical knowledge wasn't jutsu or chakra based so she hadn't known he could heal her. It didn't matter that she required more medical attention once returning to Konoha. He was the only reason she got to come back at all.

"You realize if the plan had been different you wouldn't have required saving."

People didn't have the power of foresight, but the influence of hindsight was everlasting. Insight was another matter, and the mission briefing gave no reason to believe that there would be foreign nin involved. "You gave me the tools to survive as long as I did."

"It was your own abilities."

It was a weird conversation. Orochimaru never made any reference to himself as if he was a complete outsider. "I still have a lot more potential to build up to. I hope you continue to help me." She aspired to become a cockroach. An invasive pest that stubbornly wouldn't die.

Most genin moved on from their teachers once they assimilated into the corps. She couldn't imagine that most people she graduated with still regularly spent time with their sensei. Kakashi did and she did for one reason to another, but it wasn't something that she wanted to end.

She placed the notebook down on the table she stood at and slid it across with her fingertips. "I won't be getting to this anytime soon, so if you want it it's yours." There were a few sections he wouldn't be able to understand, but that one was mostly in Japanese.

"This is…" He picked it up and flipped through the pages before stopping on one.

"Consider it a thank you present. Besides, it would be unfortunate to let it sit around."

It didn't seem like he was going to open up about his thoughts on everything. She shouldn't have expected different, but she could hope. She really did want to openly consider him a friend.

The hospital staff had mentioned he stayed with her until her family showed up, but hadn't visited her again. If only her injuries could heal faster so she could prove she really was alright.

"I've been told to take it easy in the meanwhile, but you can't get rid of me that easily."

Orochimaru stared at her. She thought he wasn't going to say anything after the few moments of silence. "You've changed."

"It's less about changing and more about…" Yuina shook her head. "There's more I plan on doing with my life."

"Near death experiences can motivate people, but the sense of urgency will dwindle as you settle back into your routine," he said. "You'll fail if you use that as your motivation."

It wasn't about the near death itself. She always had the sense of imminent death approaching her. She wasn't letting stress make her decisions. It was the opposite. She was letting go of some of that stress. It wasn't so easy to get rid of completely, but these were decisions she was making with a clearer head. Less compulsions to hide away. Less of a need to operate in a certain manner. Less conspiracies that everyone was out to get her. "Thanks for worrying, but I'll be fine. You said it yourself. I'm backwards."

"Very well." He closed her notebook. "I'll be keeping this then. Try to recover before I get through it all."