Copyright 2023 Elizabeth Frerichs
Cross-posted on elizabethfrerichs dot com and wattpad
Lady Matlock eyed him. "You have shared the nature of Georgiana's interactions with Wickham?" she asked sternly.
If only he could stop thinking about Elizabeth—then he would be less likely to bring her into conversation. Or perhaps it was only that he had lost some of his self-control over these many repetitions. It had been nice, not having to watch every little thing he said. He was still cautious and aware, generally, but he felt less constrained.
He cleared his throat. "Yes."
"Who is this person?"
Darcy hesitated, trying to decide whether to discuss Elizabeth with his aunt. He was—he knew the duty he owed to his family name, but last night while he was laying in bed, he could not help but imagine a different world: one where he was free to marry Elizabeth.
"Aunt, did you ever wish to do something that the Society would not approve of?"
Aunt Margaret gave him a quizzical look. "Frequently, why?"
"You frequently wish to do things society disapproves of?" Darcy asked incredulously.
Aunt Margaret sighed. "I frequently do things society disapproves of—one cannot live one's life solely for the sake of others' approval. Besides, society includes many people with many conflicting desires. The moment I step outside my door, a wide array of people disapprove."
"Then how do you decide when to balk at society's norms?"
"Well, I try to ensure that I do not behave in a way that I will later regret—regardless of society's opinion."
"But what about the duty you owe your family name?"
Lady Matlock stared at her hands in her lap for a long moment. "There are times when what one owes to the family can be conflicting. For example, I owe honesty to my family name, do I not? The Fitzwilliams have been renown for not beating around the bush for generations. However, I also owe politeness, and love towards my niece and nephew. Were I to say precisely what I think, that would not always be polite. And if I were to expose Georgiana's folly to the world, I would not be working for her best, even though it is not precisely honest to hide the truth."
"You are not lying to anyone," Darcy said stiffly.
Aunt Margaret nodded pensively. "But I would, if it would protect Georgiana. As it is, I am fully prepared to divert suspicion in any way possible."
Darcy's stomach churned. He would lie for Georgiana too. The same conflict existed in him.
His aunt turned to him, taking his hand in hers. "My point is that you will always have to weigh the duty you owe your family name with what you believe to be best. And sometimes they will conflict, and you will have to choose what is best overall, even when it is difficult." His aunt smiled. "Trying to discern what is best is part of the difficulty and freedom of being an adult." She patted his hand. "Your uncle and I are so proud of the way you have shouldered your burdens with grace and tenacity. But you do not always have to be perfect. We will still love you."
"Even if you disagree with my choices?"
His aunt nodded. "Though we will certainly do our best to ensure you are aware of our reasons for disagreeing."
"I would expect no less." He took a deep breath. When else could he speak so frankly about Elizabeth to his aunt? "There is a young lady in Hertfordshire."
"Oh?"
"She is—" Darcy swallowed hard, trying to wet his dry throat. "She is an excellent young woman—kind, witty, industrious. She cares for her father's tenants and has proven to be intelligent and wise. We have spent much time together as Bingley is enamoured with her older sister."
"Her father has tenants, so I assume he is a gentleman," Aunt Margaret said with a questioning lilt.
Darcy nodded. "They have a small estate which is entailed upon a distant cousin. I—when I first met her, all I could see were her family's improprieties and her poor status, but . . . ."
"Now you believe her other qualities outweigh those things."
"Yes."
"What are her connections? And to what improprieties do you refer?" his aunt asked carefully.
Darcy nearly refused to answer the question, but he could not get an honest response if he did not provide full information. "One of her uncles is in trade, the other uncle is a solicitor, and her distant cousin is Aunt Catherine's rector."
Lady Matlock froze, merely blinking at him for several moments. "William, I—" She took a deep breath. "I can see that you care deeply for this young lady; however, I cannot approve of her family. In trade? And related to your aunt's rector? You know that Cathy would be exceedingly displeased and would do everything in her power to ensure that society never accepts this young lady."
"I do—but Aunt Catherine will be upset if I marry anyone except Anne; more than that, though, I believe Miss Elizabeth would be a magnificent sister to Georgiana, an exceptional mistress of my estate, and an excellent wife." He leaned towards his aunt. "She pushes me to be a better person." His lips quirked up in remembrance of her stern admonitions to practise small talk. "And she has brought laughter back into my life—I did not think that was possible after Mother's death."
"William, be reasonable. If you are estranged from society, how will Georgiana find a husband?"
Darcy sighed. "I have considered that very problem again and again. But if you were to support my—pursuing Miss Elizabeth, I believe that the ton would eventually accept her."
"Your family name—"
"Would be better served marrying someone like Miss Elizabeth than one of the ton misses who will never be satisfied with my wealth and position. I do not wish to spend my life catering to society's whims!" he said, realising just how true that was as the words came out of his mouth. "If I marry one of the ton's darlings, I shall spend the rest of my life poorer than I am now. Yes, I may accrue connections and status, but I shall have to endure a lifetime of misery. Aunt, which of the ton's ladies even cares about their tenants? Most will simply put minimal effort into caring for those we are responsible for and then spend the rest of their energy chasing after society's approval.
"I care more for our family's honour than for society's approval, save for how it will affect Georgiana if I lose it. Miss Elizabeth is honest and principled. She will not squander any benefits she obtains, regardless of whether or not she marries me.
"Frankly, I am not even sure that she would marry me. We did not have a—propitious beginning. Though I am hopeful that I may convince her . . . we have been friendly as of late," he mused.
His aunt held up a hand, her eyes going heavenward as though praying for patience. "I appreciate that you care about family honour, William. And you are right that the Darcy name has always been synonymous with principles. But—" She speared him with a look. "There are young women in the ton who would be similarly principled—"
"Name one."
"—I beg your pardon."
"I apologise for interrupting you, but, Aunt Margaret, I cannot recall one woman whom you have introduced me to who has sparked any interest on my part and who possesses even a tenth of Miss Elizabeth's principles. The ladies of the ton are taught to excel in surface skills, such as their accomplishments. Miss Elizabeth has had to develop more substantial skills, such as her ability to understand people, her intelligence, her kindness, and her wit. She is—she is not like other young ladies—and not just because of my feelings for her. I do not believe that high society provides inducements to develop these more important skills."
His aunt sighed. "I do not dispute that disproportionate emphasis is placed upon one's accomplishments, but I believe you are forgetting some of the key traits that such accomplishments showcase, such as creativity, perseverance, and dedication. Regardless, you simply have to be patient until you meet a suitable female among your set."
"For how long?" Darcy asked, the prick of tears surprising him. He had not realised how lonely he had been on a regular basis until he had been trapped in this loop and rescued from that loneliness by Elizabeth. "Wait until after Georgiana has married, so that my choice will not negatively impact her options? Wait until I am old and have borne the burdens of managing an estate and raising a sister on my own?" He cleared his throat, trying to clear away sudden tears. "I cannot—Aunt Margaret, you are the best of aunts, but I wish to marry—"
"As I have been telling you for some time! It is high time you choose a wife. Preferably not Anne, as I do not think she could bear you heirs, whatever Cathy says, but there are plenty of eligible young woman of our set."
Darcy shook his head. His aunt seemed incapable of considering his arguments. He did not want to marry someone from the ton. He did not want to simply exist, to enter a loveless marriage for the sake of his family's name. It was not his duty to be miserable. Or if it was, he could no longer perform it adequately.
"We shall have to agree to disagree—at least for now," Darcy said, trying to smile.
His aunt put a soothing hand on his arm. "Do not be cross. I am certain that everything will turn out just fine. You need only be patient. I have several young women in mind that I wish to introduce you to the moment the Season begins. If you are determined to marry immediately, I can invite some of them to our Christmas ball."
He loved his aunt, he reminded himself. She was passionately committed to doing what she believed to be best for him and Georgiana and for their families. She simply could not see what he had gradually come to realise because she had not had all these outside influences stripped away. For the first time, he was grateful for the repetitions. Though his daily activities were largely composed of keeping up with his estate and fulfilling his social obligations, these endless Tuesdays had shown him that there was more to life and that he wanted that more. He did not want to live a life trapped in the endless rounds of social necessities and chores—it would be even more enervating than being trapped in this Tuesday for the rest of his life. He hesitated before smiling at his aunt. "Tell me how Georgiana is doing."
A/N: I love the Matlocks! I really like the idea that they've been functioning as semi-parents to Darcy after his father died. Maybe just because I hate the thought of him entirely alone ;) Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy having the Matlocks around. They work so well as contrasts to help Darcy really understand what he thinks. And I think they would be invested in Darcy's connections/wealth simply because it's what his parents would have done. Thanks for reading and engaging with the story! And thanks to Emme for beta-ing this chapter. As always, if you notice something that could strengthen the story, please pass it along! See you tomorrow!