A/N: Enjoy the newest chapter! Edited 26th of May 2020. Thank you, HPuni101 for checking, correcting and reading this story!

o.O.o

Chapter Four, Faded

Running was not an option. I came to that conclusion roughly one night after my discussion, or should I call it a visit, with Sheila Bennett. If I ran, I would need money, means at the very least and at this point, Elena didn't have that. She hadn't finished school, no cv, and if I ran, I would never truly be able to settle with someone else.

An intricately tangled knot of emotions twisted my stomach. Besides, running meant asking for help. Meant involving other people, I didn't want to be involved. The only way I could truly run was by becoming a vampire— or by getting the help of a vampire. Both not an option and with Sheila's words reverberating around the muddled chasm of my mind, I took the steps downstairs two at a time.

Even the first day of Junior year sounded like a pleasant distraction from my churning thoughts, and I stooped low to scoop up my bag. It was sunny outside, summer still fluttering in the air.

"Elena?"

I had been on the verge of stepping outside, fingers curled around Grayson's car keys, and I turned around. I had dressed quickly, found a pair of comfortable skinny jeans, simple sneakers (because this was the first day of junior year in high school and hell, I wasn't going in heels if I was supposed to properly meet Stefan Salvatore today) and a matching cashmere sweater, and I was already late. Hoisting my bookbag up, I smiled at his approaching form.

"Yes, Dad?"

"Could you give Jeremy a lift? Kid's late— as per usual."

"Oh," I stared at the young boy's face over Grayson's shoulder and shrugged, "sure, of course."

I'd forgotten how young Jeremy Gilbert had been at the start of the series. Fourteen, too young to drive, to get his driver's license, or to even be allowed to have his learning permit yet. Jeremy looked as excited about the start of yet another year of high school as I felt, and he stepped out of the house after me.

I didn't know much about Jeremy post-season four apart from when things went bad. He got into trouble with booze and pills, often frequenting local haunts of the Mystic Falls dopers and only bettered his schoolwork after Damon compelled him.

However, that was a different Jeremy that I'd seen the past few weeks. This wasn't the grieve-stricken boy who'd lost his parents. This was a teenager who hit puberty and might try out things he shouldn't, but who wasn't a delinquent. Not really.

"You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Calm down, just asking," I muttered and unlocked the car, readjusting the chair and rear-view mirror. Jeremy settled beside me in the passenger seat, buckling himself in and I gave him a subtle glance.

He'd foregone his emo phase, or at least, I thought he had, nor did I smell any weed on him. I wondered absentmindedly, as I started the car if he was even fancying Vicki Donovan in this timeline. He didn't look like a lovestruck teen, but then again, how was I to know for sure? "So looking forward to another year?"

"Are you?"

"Nope."

"Well, I'm not either."

"So any girls you like?"

"Did dad put you up to this?" He asked annoyed.

"No, I was just— curious."

"Well, it's none of your business."

"Puberty, doesn't it treat us wonderfully."

"Shut up."

"Gladly," I grumbled and changed gears. Jeremy offered me a small but genuine smile and for a moment, I was thrown off. And here I was, thinking he found my noisy questions annoying. After a few seconds, I offered him a small little smile in return. "So—"

"You're not going to leave it, are you?"

"How can I? I saw you stare at Vicki a while back."

"She's nice," he agreed. "She's also so— damaged."

A no to being madly in love with Vicki Donovan then. He reached out to the car radio, turning the volume up so loud, I guessed he didn't want to chat any further. I focused on the road again, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. Although, I had driven through the neighbourhood countless times by now. Had driven to the high school several times, yet I still didn't know it too well. Or at least, I still worried I would take a wrong turn, but— sneaking an innocuous glance at the younger brother next to me— I doubted Jeremy would notice, his fingers too busy flicking through the contents of his phone.

Changing gears, my eyes roved around the street. An elderly woman was sweeping the pavement in front of an electronics' shop, a man in a neatly pressed suit waved at me (or perhaps he recognised the car and thought Grayson was driving it) and a raven was flapping its wings, soaring through the air. It curled around the air like an acrobat, beady eyes flashing in the sun and suddenly dived down. I screeched when it propelled forward and slammed into the windscreen. The car swerved, I only narrowly managed to avoid hitting a lantern and the tires screeched when I hit the break.

"Fuck!

Jeremy was breathing hard; his cell having fallen to the floor and his eyes wide, "What the hell was that!"

"Damon!" I gasped and Jeremy's attention snapped to my face.

"Damon?"

"Demon bird," I corrected, breathing hard. "Why would it slam into the windscreen like that?"

"I— I don't know," Jeremy whispered and I rubbed trembling fingers over my temples. The veins beneath my fingers beating quick and wrenched almost painfully. My pulse raced and my face went cold. Damon Salvatore and his bloody bird were stalking me. Absolutely fucking fantastic. The bird had settled on the traffic sign at the beginning of the street, head tilted, small beady eyes fixed on Grayson's car. I had to stifle the need to honk at it. It wouldn't work anyway, but I did glare at it, glared at it, until it launched itself back into the sky, wings flapping harshly against the air.

I breathed out softly and counting till five, I turned to Jeremy. "Are you okay?"

"Fuck— yeah, I'm fine, okay?"

"Right," I whispered, steering the car back onto the road.

Shivering, I flicked the heat up, even though the chill settling beneath my skin had nothing to do with the cool morning air and I crossed an intersection. Checking my rear-view and side mirrors for the crow, I grumbled. The bird was nowhere in sight. I geared up, reaching the high school in record time and Jeremy almost bolted from my car. Perhaps my driving style didn't fully agree with him and I dropped my head against the steering wheel, breathing hard. The leather felt smooth against my overheated skin and for a moment I listened to my quick breathing.

"Fuck, Damon's bird. How did I forget about that?"

Indeed, how had I? The bird was kinda his signature. When my nerves had settled enough, I pulled my hair back in a ponytail, securing it with a rubber band I'd wrapped tightly around my wrist that morning, and threw open the car door.

Crossing the parking lot, I wound around several people in my haste to get inside and almost made a beeline for my locker. I'd already received my schedule over the past last week and fisting the paper tightly, I hurried towards my first class. Our Homeroom teacher started the day laying down the ground rules and handed out our new locker numbers (I never had figured out which locker Elena used to inhabit). The lesson was short and to the point and after a Miss Fish had stressed the importance of Junior year, we were allowed to find our lockers, put our backpacks away and practice our locker combinations.

I was in the process of stuffing half of my books inside when Bonnie stepped up beside me grinning madly at me. I stifled the initial response to press my hand against her forehead to check for a temperature and cocked my head to the side.

"You okay?"

"I see a hot back."

"O—kay?" I asked slowly, waiting for a freaked-out reaction that somehow would convey Bonnie's knowledge of my situation, but it never came. She kept grinning madly at me, bobbing up and down on the balls of her feet. "Fine, I bite, what hot back?"

Her answering grin was pure sin and she pointed at someone, my stomach churned. Was this how I would meet Stefan Salvatore again? My mouth turned dry and my face paled. He had his back to us (just as Bonnie had said), dressed in faded jeans, a tight T-shirt and a leather jacket. His hair was wavy, almost blond in the warm early afternoon sunlight and he was leaning against the counter of the admissions secretary. I thought she was called Mrs Clark (easy to remember, because, well, Clark Kent, anyone) and she was staring over a list, shaking her head.

Her mousy brown hair dulls even in the sunlight and obviously, something was missing from the papers. When she looked up again her dark eyes turned glassy, her face slacking and my mind reeled. Compulsion. I had never seen it in action, but I knew what it was. Mrs Clark stared unblinkingly towards the newest student, her mouth opening and closing as if she were trying to say something before her mouth stretched out into a languid grin. She nodded. My eyes ventured to Stefan's back again. To his lean back, that was, and if I could see, so could Bonnie.

"Please be hot," Bonnie whispered and I gave her an incredulous look.

"Bonnie—"

"He must be hot. I sense Seattle and he plays the guitar."

"Are you a fortune-teller now?" I asked, just as Mrs Clark handed a class schedule to Stefan.

"Grams says I am a witch." She told me drolly and I nodded.

"Ah and a fortuneteller too," I replied allowing the sarcasm to ooze heavily off the words. Of course, I knew she was a witch. But— I wasn't supposed to. Perhaps when she knew— when she believed she was a witch I could tell her. Our relationship would be far more genuine if I could be honest with her. Besides, I liked Bonnie. I didn't want to lie to her.

"She calls it physic." She supplied, eyes still glued to Stefan's back and I started to feel extremely awkward. It appeared to be a daily feeling and I curled my fingers tightly around the strap of my bag. "Well, I did predict Obama and I still think—" she started just as Stefan turned around. "Ha, I knew it!"

"Bonnie!" I gasped.

"He is hot, Elena."

And he can hear you, I awkwardly thought, feeling my face warming. He might have been hot, but he'd just compelled our admissions secretary. Should we be okay with that— scratch that, should I be okay with that. Compelling was basically stripping someone of their consent. I stared at Stefan, who was hooking his shades behind the collar of his shirt and slowly he looked up. Greenish eyes met mine and I watched his thick eyebrows lift. Bonnie was positively vibrating beside me, she too staring at his strong facial features and she shot me an excited grin.

"He's looking at you."

"Shut up, Bonnie, I think I noticed," I grumbled and hid my face behind my timetable. "History, we have History now. Let's go!"

"Elena - "

"Please, Bonnie. It's Tanner. I don't want to be late in Tanner's class. You know him. He'll probably give us a pop-quiz."

"It's the first day!"

"Yeah, tell that to the number of summer assignments he gave us." I retorted, just as the bell rang. I tugged her along and I watched her lower lipstick out in defiance or desperation. In the end, she threaded her arm through mine and kept chattering about 'hawte making obscene eye contact with me'. We hurried into the classroom, Mr Tanner blissfully not present yet and took seats in the middle row.

"I don't get it, Elena, he's hot and he's into you."

"Well, I don't know him." I returned awkwardly.

"But—"

"Please, Bonnie, I'm not ready."

Besides, I didn't want to be a Katherine 2.0 or even a Tatia 2.0. In the series Elena grew to be just like Katherine, although perhaps a bit unwillingly, and played around with both Stefan's and Damon's feelings. Her actions, her choices drove the wedge between them even further and although their brotherly bond was average, it never really went away, no matter what everyone might think.

Besides Bonnie, Elena also shared History with Matt and Stefan. If I'd thought classes had been awkward when it was just Matt staring at me, it doubled when Stefan chose me as his central viewpoint. With a face flushing darkly, my fingers clenched and unclenched on the pen I held staring resolutely and unblinkingly at the blackboard. I'd done the required reading, had done the required summer reading and done the homework. When he called upon me, I knew the answer and Tanner's eyebrows furrowed.

I wasn't sure if it was because of me knowing the answer or because of the two boys giving me moon eyes. I dared a look at Bonnie, who had slouched in her seat, grinning almost manically. I dared a look over my shoulder, staring straight into Stefan's earnest face and my face turned an even darker red and— God, why did I have to be in the body of a dead-ringer of his previous love? Katherine Pierce—

My pulse sped up until my heart was pounding wildly behind my breastbone. Oh my God, Katherine Bloody Pierce. The woman who wanted to serve me up to Klaus. The biggest, baddest Original there was would want to offer his Doppelgänger up to the cosmic powers that kept Klaus' werewolf side dormant. Truly, wonderful. And if I let her, so many good people would die. Perhaps not Aunt Jenna this time, but Klaus would probably go for someone Elena liked either way and when he then failed to make hybrids? He would scorch the town down— I just knew he would, and a low wine escaped my throat.

I might have had no ties to this town before, but I had started to care for the little family I'd been living with for the last four months. Miranda and Grayson were wonderful people and Jeremy didn't deserve the heartache he would go through if I sat back and let it all happen. The heartache Katherine would bring to him, to Caroline, to Tyler. Even to Damon and Stefan.

My hand shot up, several faces had already turned to me and Tanner peered at my face with a look I couldn't describe. Not really and I opened my mouth, "I feel sick— Can I see the nurse?"

His eyes zoned in on my sudden pale face and I shoved my books and pen into my bag, my grip on the straps so tight I worried for a second, I might crush the smooth leather.

"By all means, Elena."

"Thank you!" I whispered, ignoring Bonnie's worried look and darted towards the door.

I was already on my way out, when I heard Stefan's voice ('shall I go with her, Sir') and I sprinted out into the slightly cooler hallway. I really didn't want to speak to him and quickly made my way down the two flights of stairs. My breath was coming in quick pants, my face hot and clammy and I darted out a side door, passing the bleachers and whirled up the narrow path in the roadside, leading to the car park.

I almost fell against my car, trembling and gasping. Tears were blurring my vision as I clambered into the driver's seat. The nausea was to be expected and I leant forward, gripping the steering wheel so tight my fingers turned white. Dry heaving for several moments, I waited for the tears and the nerves out until my heart was beating regularly again. Wiping at my mouth, I stared unseeingly through the windscreen. It wasn't like I'd forgotten Elena's part in this story. I hadn't, I just hadn't considered the consequences, not all of them. If I waited, sat back and watched the show (so to say), it would only be worse.

"Hey, are you all right?"

I almost let out a maniacal laugh and slowly looked up at Stefan, "I'm fine."

"I could drive you home?"

"Erm, Stefan, this is my car, you know that right?"

"I can't let you go like this." He told me seriously and a muscle in my cheek popped.

"I'm pretty sure, it's none of your business." I retorted snippily and whipped out my cell phone, typing down a message for Bonne and later one for Caroline (telling them I'd gone home with cramps) and rammed the key into the ignition. Stefan looked ready to argue, his hand and forearm leaning on the side of my car door and I glared at him (it probably didn't look very threatening, with what, my face flushed and my eyes red-rimmed). "Stefan, close the door and step back. I want to go."

"You know my name."

"I— well, yeah," I agreed and I almost cursed myself, "News travels fast."

"Right."

"Step back, Stefan," I grumbled and tried to yank the door closed. "You should go back—"

"I don't feel good about letting you go like this." He told me seriously and I almost rolled my eyes.

"Well, I don't know you." I tried. My face has flushed, I could feel it and I struggled to keep my voice steady. "I don't feel good with someone being so forceful. So, I'm going home for the day and you have to step back!"

He did and finally, I managed to close the car door. Starting the engine, I buckled myself in and tore away. I realized it would be considerably harder to turn him away than I'd initially thought, and I gripped the steering wheel tightly. I wondered if I could keep on driving. Driving and driving and driving until Mystic Falls was nothing more than a distant memory. Truthfully, I couldn't and finally, I parked the car a block away from Elena's house. Was it really too much to ask for me to just go home? I understood it wasn't an option, but— God, was I a whiner, or not? Inhaling deeply, I stared unseeingly through the windshield and forcefully unclenched my fingers from the steering wheel. I really had to think of a plan to get out of this. I had to…

I hadn't made much progress by the time Thursday rolled around and Caroline cornered me to hand out flyers for the 'Evening of the Comet', passing over Mystic Falls (again). It was supposed to be happening, a sight only to be seen every few hundred years. I'd already foregone going to the back-to-school-bonfire (since I still remembered vividly what happened to the last bonfire I'd gone to), but she didn't let me talk myself out of going to the Night of the Comet.

I thought seeing the Comet flyover would be okay. I knew its passing was needed to empower Emily's Crystal again, but I was sure no one was attacked during— Although, that meant little. I was quite sure Tyler Lockwood hadn't been attacked in the original timeline (especially not pre-season one), yet Vicki Donovan remained unharmed and in one piece. I sighed. Thinking about it gave me a bit of a headache.

The late afternoon was pleasantly warm with a light breeze and I perilously balanced a stack of flyers in my arms. Caroline had divided the work, and I was ordered to take the houses bordering the Western Forest. At least, finding that particular neighbourhood had been easy and I slowly made my way down the old houses. They'd been recently renovated, updated with new red tiles and a fresh layer of white paint.

I moved past the houses, putting flyers in their mailboxes and rolled my shoulders, hoping to relieve them off some tension. It was an easy job; one I could do without thinking and I busied myself with handing out flyers until the sunlight descended along the rooftops and peeked out in gentle orange and golden rays.

"Elena." My answering shriek escaped my throat before I could stop it and I whirled around, flyers slipping from my grasp, scattering in the air. Stefan apologetic face stared back at me, stooping low to gather the fallen papers. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I—No, it's fine," I mumbled, slowly accepting the papers and hugging them close to my chest.

"I, I feel like I somehow offended you, but I don't know what I have done." He told me seriously.

I inhaled sharply, thumb gently drawing circles over the back of my left hand. I couldn't blame him for that though. I'd been doing my best to keep avoiding outside of classes and the classed we'd shared I made sure I didn't sit next to him. I'd done my best to act at least a tiny bit like Elena, but I couldn't be open and cheerful Elena around a man who had to actively control himself around me to not rip my throat out. I wondered if he could smell my fear and the adrenaline coursing through my veins and ran my tongue along the back of my teeth: "I— no, not really. Why?"

"You've been avoiding me." He told me dryly and I went with a sardonic smile.

"I don't know you."

"Right."

You had to give it to him. He was persistent. But I was not Katherine. I was not Elena Gilbert— well, I was, but I wasn't the Elena from the show. I was not her. And the fact that Stefan still actively tried to get to know me, only proved it was my face more than my character. Or so I assumed, and I tentatively tucked the straight strands of hair behind my ears. "How did you know where I was?"

"Oh, Caroline. She's— very talkative."

"Yeah, that she is," I agreed and curled my toes in my sneakers, my heart rate a tad bit too quick and my breathing a tad bit too shallow. "But she's been my friend since kindergarten and I love her."

"Right." He echoed again and I swallowed harshly, staying perfectly still.

"Stefan, was there something else you wanted me for?" Apart from the obvious, like liking me for my face. "Because I still have to finish handing these out at Central Hall."

"I could help you."

"Fine," I sighed, already too tired of the incoming argument that would otherwise ensue. "Why not."

He dutifully followed beside me as I ventured downtown, stalking inside the little town hall. It was busy, mostly with middle schoolers and I dutifully passed them a flyer, telling them in excited tones that they should come. That the Comet was a once in a life-time experience and many others would come. Like every thirteen- and fourteen-year-old the promise of cheap booze and a high school party was hard to ignore, and I smiled at their excited faces.

"So looking forward to the night of the Comet?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. The leather creaked and squeaked noisily in protest and I rolled my shoulders, glad to be around so many people (even if all of them together against Stefan Salvatore still meant they weren't equally matched).

"I suppose. Tanner did say it only passes once every 145 years."

"Hm," he agreed, and his features rippled into a small smile. "You know that comet has been travelling across space for thousands of years. All alone."

"Yeah," I agreed and my lips eased out in a smile. "Bonnie says it's a harbinger of evil."

"I think it's just a ball of snow and ice trapped on a path it can't escape. And once every 145 years it gets to come home. I'm sorry about scaring you in the carpark last Monday."

"Oh, it's fine," I replied, drawing the noses of my sneakers over the linoleum floor. "I was upset."

"Yeah," he agreed and my eyes flitted over his face, searching, for what I wasn't sure.

"I'm fine." I shrugged, opting for a smile. I had little choice to be not fine. Sometimes, everything, the whole stuck in vampire diaries plot, it was hard. I missed my mother, my best friend, my dog… I even missed my annoying thesis advisor. I certainly struggled to get into Elena's routine. Struggled to get into Elena's old life (before her parents died, of course). I suppose I could have been stuck in a character with a worse life— Like Vicki Donovan or even Bonnie Bennett, who, yes, could do magic, but who was also abused ever so often. Realizing the silence had stretched on I shrugged: "I've been a bit stressed lately. It's an important year. With what— Junior Year and cheer practice— Mom will probably have me start practising for Miss Mystic Falls. Just a bit of stress."

"Too much stress isn't good for you though."

"Well, I journal. That often takes the heat off a bit." I shrugged and smiled. "So what do you do? For fun I mean. Play a sport?"

His smile was more genuine, and I knew of course, what he would reply. "I play some football."

"Any good?"

"I'm alright."

"Well, try out for the team. They suck." I said, remembering Elena's encouragements.

He grumbled something, probably a negative affirmative and I shrugged. For a while, the time passed in idle chit-chat and I was content. Faint evening light streamed in through the large windows, by the time I'd handed out the last flyer, and I stretched my arms above my head, exhaling loudly. I didn't know why I was surprised that Stefan was a nice guy. I'd known him— or I'd seen him on the television screen and later on my laptop screen and I'd learned enough to know that he was a nice person (when he was on his animal diet), but I hadn't thought I'd genuinely enjoy his company.

I certainly didn't love him. Fuck, no. It was too fucking weird to even contemplate him like that, but I could use a friend who didn't know the Elena from before the would-be car accident. However, no matter how nice that would be, it wasn't really an option. Vampire Stefan certainly wasn't trying so hard to just be my friend, but it was a nice diversion.

To be continued...

A/N: Nope, she's not going to date, Stefan. But you have to give him credit for trying.

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