Living Dead Girl

"Buffy? Spike? Buffy?", there was yet another knock at the door and Buffy realized she couldn't ignore it and started fumbling blindly for her bathrobe; which wasn't where she normally kept it… Shit.

She lifted her head. It felt like the roadrunner had smashed an anvil into it. Buffy let out a groan and the arm she hadn't realized was snaked around her constricted. Spike.

The pounding on the door resumed, "Buffy?"

She groaned again, "What do you want, Xan? We're half dead in here."

"It's too early for your puns, Love. Make the boy go away," Spike grumbled into a pillow as he shifted onto his stomach like a sullen kid.

Buffy huffed without looking over at Spike, "Go away, Xan!"

"Come on guys! I'm supposed to get you up! The coma girl's parents are here. She woke up and they want to talk to you so get some clothes on!"

Spike groaned and pulled himself up out of bed, "Bugger all," he grumbled, pulling on his jeans gingerly over his injured leg and limped over to the door pulling it open fully. Xander's eyes grew wide in shock when he saw Spike's bare chest.

"Dude, what the hell is going on here? Have you looked at yourself in a mirror?"

"Not as of late, no, you ninny," he murmured as he looked down at himself. He knew she had written her name under his left collarbone, but he hadn't realized she had also drawn swirling doodles and a few hearts into his skin. The doodles interspersed with the numerous cross burns dotted all over his chest certainly told their own story. The burns were nothing more than little pinkish-red marks now but they stood out in sharp contrast against his pale skin, "Bollocks. How bad are the bits I can't see?"

"Got a turtleneck?" Xander scratched his own neck indicating corresponding marks on Spike, "Those are pretty obvious, man. What the heck did you do to him, Buff?" he asked as he tried to poke his head into the room to talk to her.

Spike blocked him, "She's not exactly decent, mate, getting dressed and a bit hungover too. Who's with the Andersons now?"

"Faith answered the door and sent me to get you. Will and Giles are in serious book mode. I think they're in the library but I'm avoiding. Faith wants me and Callum to put the girls to work on the duplex, while she takes the grads to the airport."

"Right, we'll be down," he closed the door as Xander turned away. "You hear him, Pet?"

Buffy had pulled on a purple sleeveless top over a long black skirt with purple embroidery. Her hair was still a mess from sleep and it made him smile as she tamed it.

Buffy nodded as she finished and pulled out a pair of cute but practical sandals, "Yeah, we better get down there." She looked up at him, "Maybe you should just stay up here. Keep off of that leg."

"It's about Sheena and Ruby. I need to be in this."

She paused taking in the extent of the marks on his chest, "Fine, but maybe go with one of your dress shirts and that new black infinity scarf I just got. I really did a number on you last night," she grimaced apologetically.

"Nonsense, I love your handiwork. As for that scarf, I might be a bloody poet, Pet, but I sure as hell aint about to dress like one of those trendy wankers running around nowadays."

"Do you want to make Mrs. Anderson faint again? Because I'm pretty sure advertising evidence of kinky vampire sex might just do it, call it a hunch. Xan's right, I must have left it on too long in a few spots, a couple of those don't look good. Look at it this way, at least it's a plain scarf, no frills."

He frowned, "Yeah alright. I hear you. As nice as they were, I get the feeling they aren't going to be all smiles in regard to Ruby's new living arrangements and lifestyle as is."

"Which part? The dead but soulful part, the undead-living-here part, or the liking women part?"

"Hard to say."

"Let's see what they want first, they might just want to tell us about Sheena."

"Phones work."

"True… let me track down Willow. Sheena might have said something to them about our visit."

"Right, I nearly forgot 'bout that. Got a bit distracted last night. All went well I take it?"

Buffy shrugged, "I was just the guard dog, but the mind walk Will did with Ruby did the trick. I didn't really do much except help get Ruby's stuff out of her room and lend a minimal hand with Odette. Ruby 'did pretty much all the work. Odette didn't seem like much of a fighter to be honest."

"Probably just the regular demon stuff. I certainly didn't teach her anything. I'm still dumbfounded that Dru just let her go."

"It's crazy to expect crazy people to make sense"

Spike shook his head, "Dru is insane but she always made some sort of sense. Even if I didn't see it right away. In the end she almost always did."

"I don't know how you put up with her for so long."

"Can't really explain it to be honest," Spike said awkwardly and rolled a shoulder.

"We better go, I want to see if Will is in the library."

When they reached the library they were surprised to find Ruby lounging with her leg up over the arm of the chair in the corner with a book in hand. She was situated a short distance away from the large table where Willow and Giles were pouring over books and a stone tablet.

"Hey guys!" Buffy interrupted them, "Ruby's parents are downstairs."

Ruby's head shot up from her book in alarm, "Do they know about me?"

"We don't really know what they know. Just because we didn't say anything to them doesn't mean that Sheena didn't."

"How do you want to play this Buff?" Willow asked.

"I think Spike and I need to get down there. Give us a minute or two and then come down with Ruby, but maybe just hang out in the stairwell by the living room so you can hear what's going on. Oh and by the way, once I get him downstairs, Spike is forbidden from getting off the couch."

Willow and Ruby smirked at each other and Spike rolled his eyes. Soberingly, he looked squarely at Ruby, "You and I need to have a talk young one. I was out of line but there are things you need to know."

Ruby nodded, "Whatever you say, g-"

"And don't you bloody well dare call me grandpa!"

"I was going to say, go see what my parents want. And maybe don't mention Willow is a witch, I just don't think they'd respond well."

"Oh, well right then."

Buffy put her hand on Spike's chest, pushing him back slightly from where he was leaning against the doorframe, "Talk later."

In a matter of minutes the two of them were downstairs greeting the Andersons. Faith took a step towards the staircase, "Sorry to cut and run Buff but I got to make sure Addison and Ursula make their flight."

"No, it's fine. I know you got a busy day, thanks for doing this."

"No problem, B. Hey," she grabbed Buffy's arm and gave Spike a barely perceptible glance, "Everything 5x5?"

"Yeah, all good."

"You gonna fill me in later?"

Spike gave Faith a nod, "Mind yourself, Doe-eyes, doin' much better now, thanks. You get the beer later and maybe Buffy and I will spill the relevant bits."

"You're on, pal," Faith replied as she headed up the stairs.

Buffy turned back to the Andersons and directed them into the living room.

"What can we do for you?'' Buffy asked cordially as she and Spike sat down together on one couch, the Andersons took the other.

"We've just come from the hospital. But I think you already know Sheena is awake."

"Oh, well I was just there visiting and—"

"Ruby was with you wasn't she? You found our girl and you didn't tell us?" Mrs Anderson was trying to keep the accusation out of her voice but it was still there.

"It's more complicated than that—"

Mr. Anderson bristled, "Our daughter is alive and you didn't think we should know? When did you find her? How long has—"

"Mr Anderson, please calm down. We were planning on calling you when Ruby decided she was ready. She's been through—"

"She is our daughter!" he roared, standing up, "What gives you the right to keep her from us!?"

Spike stood up with a deep growl, "You need to have a seat, mate. The lady is trying to explain the situation."

The Andersons looked a little shocked, they hadn't missed the growl but they didn't understand it either. Mr Anderson didn't sit down, "Young man, perhaps we should be talking to Mr. Giles. I don't—"

"Don't you 'young man' me, I was—"

Buffy reached for Spike's wrist, "Sit down, you need to rest that leg."

"Leg's not so bad, Pet. I'm fine. But if he thinks I'm just—"

"William, please."

"Buffy, you know as well as I do that we're the only ones willing and able to help them and they—"

"Don't know the whole story."

Spike deflated as he sat down, his leg really wasn't fine and he stretched it out in front of him on the coffee table.

Buffy hit Mr Anderson with a hard gaze until he relented a little and sat down too. "Thank you. Now maybe we can talk like adults. As I was saying. Ruby has been through a lot. We have been helping her."

"Helping her?" Mrs. Anderson asked, "What has happened to our girl? First you tell us she might have been turned and now we find out she's been hiding out here and you didn't say a word. Where is my daughter? I want to see her!"

"You will. But I think you need to hear what happened after Ruby attacked Sheena."

"After— but—"

"We haven't been keeping you in the dark so please stop acting like we have been. You know she was turned, you know she attacked Sheena. Denial isn't going to help anyone here. What you don't know is that we were able to capture her afterwards and hold her here."

"You held our daughter hostage?"

"We held a demon inhabiting your daughter's body as a prisoner," Spike corrected, "You're welcome."

Mr. Anderson wrapped an arm around his wife tightly. "But she was with you at the hospital wasn't she?"

Buffy inclined her head a little, "Yes. We were able to have someone retrieve Ruby's soul and put it back in."

"So what does that mean? She has her soul, she's cured? I thought you told us that it couldn't be done."

Spike huffed, "It's not a cure. That's utter nonsense. She's still a vampire, she's still dead. Crosses still burn and she still needs blood to survive. Animal blood, that is. She hasn't had human since she's been with us." He paused looking at Mrs. Anderson. She had blanched at the mention of blood but didn't look faint so he continued, "She's also more her true self now. She has all her humanity back. She can discuss literature sensibly again, and thank god for that because trying to talk with her about Oscar Wilde without a soul was just— bloody painful…" he stopped catching a bewildered look from Buffy, "Point is, she can make opinions and decisions based on morality and has a working conscience again. It doesn't mean she's any less of a vampire. It also means that she essentially has multiple— How do I put this?"

"Just tell them what you told me," Buffy reassured him.

He bobbed his head once and continued, "There's more to her now. A lot of it she doesn't even understand yet. First off she's what we call a fledgling. Her demon didn't have a lot of time to get real used to things before she got the soul shoved in. She's getting off easy but she's still got, sort of, multiple voices in her head."

"Like multiple personalities?"

"No, no, think of it like the angel and devil on your shoulder kind of thing except a bit more literal. She has a lot she needs to work through before she can figure it out. Takes some getting used to. The guilt alone is enough to drive anyone mad." Spike looked down, only just noticing Buffy's hand clenched tightly in his own.

Mrs. Anderson's eyes flickered from their hands and back up to his face, "You're speaking from experience, Mr. Spike."

He turned earnest eyes to her, "Yeah I am, and I know first hand how difficult it is. I was fortunate to have someone to fight for and who fought for me in return when it got to be too much. The least we can do is try to do the same for Ruby."

Her eyes flicked to Buffy, "But you're a Slayer like Sheena aren't you?"

"The original, yeah."

"Ruby is in good hands."

"That's what you said about Sheena and she still—"

Buffy bristled, "That was out of our control. It's thanks to Spike and one of the other girls stabilizing her before the paramedics got to her that she is even alive. And further thanks to my friend Willow and Ruby for her waking up. I shouldn't need to tell you that Spike has cared for your daughters like his own family. Our family. We only want to help and part of that is helping Ruby make amends, getting her back on her feet and letting her make her own choices."

"That's why she was with you at the hospital."

"Yeah, she wanted to see Sheena, help her if she could, and she did."

Spike nodded, "She's been doing really well, all things considered."

The Andersons shared a look, Mr. Anderson turned back to Buffy and Spike, "I think we understand. May we see our daughter now?"

Spike turned towards the door concealing the staircase, "You get all that, Rubes? What do you say, feel like having a chat with your folks?"

The door opened and Ruby walked into the living room followed by Willow.

Ruby had pulled on what Buffy recognized as Giles' cardigan. She was holding it closed around her middle tightly, giving her the look of an awkward child, "Hey, Mum; Hi, Daddy." Her parents descended upon her immediately enveloping her in a hug.

"Ruby! Oh my sweet girl! We thought we'd lost you!" her mother was crying.

"Well, you did, Mum, you did but I'm me again. For the most part. Not completely, but it's mostly still me, like Spike was saying," she nodded heavily as she pushed her parents back a little at arms length so she could look at them better, "He's right it's— it's not easy and I was afraid to call, yet. I didn't want them to contact you so please don't blame them. Don't be angry with Buffy and Spike, they've done nothing but help me."

"We're just glad you're safe. When will you be coming home, sweetheart?"

Ruby shook her head, "I'm not coming home. I just can't."

Her parents looked at each other "But why not? I don't understand," her mother pleaded.

"What about uni?" Her father interjected.

Spike stepped in, "It's Ruby's choice of course, but I have to say I agree with her. For one thing, living in a regular house like that can be kind of dangerous for a vampire, especially a young one. We are experienced here. Buffy has been dealing with the likes of me for years now and the castle is vampire safe. Ruby has already started to make herself comfortable and has a private space to call her own. Buffy and Willow here even went to help her clean out her room at University so you don't have to worry about that. We'll see to getting a phone line set up for her at some point here."

"What happened to your mobile?" Her father asked.

Ruby shook her head, "Lost it the night I died."

The phrasing seemed to strike her parents hard and Ruby's mom looked at her a little bewildered. With some effort she seemed to collect herself, "Well that's simple enough, you're still on our family plan, we will simply call our carrier, let them know that you lost your phone and see about getting you a new one. At least let us do that for you, sweetheart," she nodded and looked pleadingly.

He nodded, "Seems silly not to. We'll be happy to get it replaced, that way you can keep in touch."

The unease in their voices didn't go amiss to anyone, least of all Ruby, "Mum, Dad, I really do think it's best for everyone that I stay here. I can train with Spike and Buffy and help them out where I can. I really think it's what's best. My afternoon class would kill me proper. I'd be a pile of dust on the sidewalk before I even got there. But yeah, a new phone would be brilliant." She smiled at them both.

"But what about your future?"

"I'm dead Mum. The only future I have at the moment is right here, doing work with them. Fighting the good fight."

Mr. and Mrs. Anderson exchanged another troubled look.

"It's part of the deal I made when they offered me my soul. I chose this. I'm sure. Besides, it's not like I'll be that far, I can still visit."

Willow stepped forward next to Ruby, "Absolutely! I can even bring her over tonight or tomorrow. Ruby was talking about wanting to get the rest of her things moved in."

"That's true, it would be nice to have the rest of my books and a proper bed," she looked apologetically at Buffy and Spike, "I appreciate the cot but I'd love to have my own bed down there."

Buffy rolled a shoulder, "Yeah of course, whatever you need; it's your space. As long as your parents don't mind you taking it, you can move whatever you want in there. It's totally Ruby-ville."

"Thanks. So what do you say? Can I come get my stuff?"

Her mother seemed a little overwhelmed, "I- we— If— yes of course. Can we see where you're living?"

Ruby frowned a little, "I don't really have it finished yet. Willow was going to let me paint."

"This is Willow?"

Willow stuck out her hand, "Sorry! Yes, Willow Rosenberg. I teach math and science. I've invited Ruby to take the basement bedroom on my half of the duplex we started renovating."

"You're the one who helped Sheena?"

"I sure am. I'm also the one that ensouled Ruby too. I've sort of been keeping an eye on her, she's been doing a lot better the last day or so."

The Andersons seemed stunned, "But didn't you say you teach maths and science?"

"I'm a woman of many talents."

"And thank the Lord for that, and for everything you've done for our girls already. So Ruby will be living with you, not at the castle?"

"It's on the grounds, you're welcome to come and see it if you don't mind a construction site," Willow turned to Buffy, "do you know if they are working on your side or ours today?"

"No idea, Xan just gave Spike a quick rundown, and Faith didn't say anything at all."

"Or you're welcome to come back another time after Ruby has had a chance to fix it up the way she wants."

They glanced at each other, "I think we just want to see where she'll be, that's all."

"Willow—"

"It's fine Ruby, Buffy and I can show them around, you just hang out with Spike. You two have a lot to talk about anyway."

Ruby nodded to Willow, "Yeah alright, what do you say, Spike? Mind if I join you while you heal up and get that talk out of the way?"

Spike had already rested himself back onto the couch with his bad leg up, the other foot still on the floor in case he needed to intervene, "We can bond over a pint— or tea if you prefer, I'm not particular." He was about to say "a pint of blood" and caught himself just in time, he wasn't sure if Mrs. Anderson would have stayed vertical or not.

"Ruby?" Willow looked worried, remembering the tea incident from only a few days ago, "Are you sure you're all right to go back in the kitchen?"

Ruby shrugged, "Feeling a little more stable. Giles said it was better in there now and at least I know Sheena is gonna be okay. I can't stay out of the kitchen forever, I like to cook too much."

"Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, we might put you to work, Slayers like to eat," Buffy joked.

Ruby laughed at that and hugged her parents again, "I have a good feeling about this, don't worry about me alright?"

They nodded reluctantly and pulled away

Buffy frowned at her skirt, "I hope they aren't going all dust happy over there," she looked up at the two vampires in the room, "You know what I mean, alright, let's see what's going on over there." She said firmly as she leaned into Spike, squeezing his shoulder and applying a little pressure with her thumb where her name was burned into him. "Remember to stay off that leg."

"Yes, Slayer," he had managed to keep his tone even, but it still hit Buffy the same way as if he had purred into her ear with his hand down her pants.

Oh my god Spike.

It's not my mind that's in the gutter for once, Slayer, he said silently with a smug grin on his face.

You just behave yourself, Mr. Pratt, don't make me tie you up again.

His grin widened, Yeah like that's a real deterrent.

She rubbed a hand over her eyes, I really hope I didn't create a monster last night.

Oh sweetheart, I've always been a monster. You just unchained me…

Unless I decide I want you in chains again, however you wanna look at it. It was Buffy's turn to smirk.

Willow caught the interaction between the two of them and raised her eyebrows, "Buffy, are we going to get going here or do you two need a moment?"

Buffy tried her best not to blush as she turned to her best friend, "Right, okay, Mr and Mrs Anderson, come along with us. We'll show you out there, It's the big stone building you guys sort of past on the way in and it needs a lot of work so it's going to be a while before anyone else is going to be moving into it but the basement on Willow's side is in exceptionally good shape so since Ruby doesn't really need a whole lot it's fairly well set up for her already."

"What do you mean by that; she doesn't need a lot?" Mr. Anderson asked as they headed outside.

"Well she's dead, she doesn't really need a lot of creature comforts, it's just a fact. You should have seen Spike's place when we first started," she cleared her throat, "seeing each other," she ended diplomatically.

Willow shot her a glance but didn't say anything.

"You both went by 'Summers' at the hospital but you're not married are you? I just assume because you all call him 'Spike'."

She cleared her throat again, she had really wanted to talk to Willow about Spike, but not like this. It really was like Spike said; that in many ways they already were married, so what was the answer; Not yet, but we've been talking about it OR Yes, we accidentally eloped in Paris and we're technically on our honeymoon but we're probably going to have a wedding anyway?

Before Buffy could make up her mind about how to answer the question Willow chimed in, "Oh no, they got married a few months ago. William took her name but we have all known him so long we still just call him 'Spike' out of habit."

Buffy gaped at her best friend, had Spike talked to her about their plans? Mrs Anderson smiled "Well I'm glad to hear it. It certainly makes me feel better knowing that she will be around people who are setting an example for a normal life."

Buffy's eyebrows shot up "Normal?"

"Well, yes. It gives me hope that despite all this, that perhaps someday she can still settle down. She has never shown much interest in finding someone but now she won't be at university. Maybe she'll be able to get her nose out of her books long enough to focus on finding a good man and make a life for herself."

Buffy caught Willow's eye and she shook her head warningly. "Ahh huh, yup," she tried to sound convincing. Any more comments like that and she wasn't sure if she would be able to stop herself from breaking her nose. If Willow didn't beat her to it first.

Ruby stood in front of the microwave waiting for the timer to go off. Her eyes kept darting towards the corner she had thrown the girls into. The memory of it mixed with the vision from the mind-walk were colliding violently in her brain and it was all she could do to stand still where she was. At least her stomach wasn't trying to expel itself, although actually drinking the blood in her mug might not be so easy.

She was having very mixed feelings about blood. On one hand, her body and her demon demanded it, but at the same time the idea was repulsive to her. She figured that would just be one of those things she would have to come to terms with. She tried to distract herself by looking out the window towards the partially burned orchard and another pang of guilt shot through her.

Despite several of the girls receiving various injuries, only one Slayer had been lost in the attack and that was on her. She didn't think they knew of the extent of her involvement in the attack and in some ways that was worse. Looking back at it now, she couldn't blame the dark haired girl who had snuck in to beat the crap out of her while she'd been tied up in the utility room. She didn't know the Slayer's name but she did know that she had left the castle already. Which really just meant that she never had a chance to apologize. She couldn't blame any of them for hating her and she knew she didn't deserve their forgiveness, apologies be damned.

She took a deep breath to settle herself just as the microwave finished. She gathered their mugs and whisked them out to the living room where Spike waited for her. "Here ya go," she murmured, setting it down in front of him.

"Ta, luv," he eyed her carefully.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Thought I'd start with an apology for last night. You did good. Buffy told me you took Odette out pretty easily."

"Did she also tell you I was blind with rage?"

"Didn't need to," he sipped the blood.

"So is that what you wanted to talk about, me killing Odette?"

"Partly. Did Buffy tell you anything about our line?"

"Sort of, you were sired by your ex and she was sired by some bloke named Angel. Then from what I gathered from your outburst last night, I'm guessing that there was quite a bit o' funny business going on between the three of you."

He ignored the comment, "You'll probably meet Angel before long and I rather hope you never meet Drusilla. Don't much fancy seeing her again myself."

"Why's that?"

"Because Buffy will likely have to be the one to put her down when it really should be me or Angel who does it."

"Oh…"

"There's a lot there. I could start anywhere and just keep goin' into next week. So let's start with some questions. Anything you want, ask."

Ruby puffed out her cheeks, "Why were you so upset last night when Buffy mentioned Odette?"

"Hadn't given her a thought in years and thought she was dust long ago for starters. For all the carnage I've been responsible for over the years, I never really turned too many vampires. Turned Odette just to get back at Dru. I imagine it's why she left you in the crypt the way she did, it's what I'd done to her except that I was waiting there expecting a shag when she woke up."

"You like to keep it in the family, huh?"

Spike laughed, "You've read Dracula, you got the gist of things. Stupid ponce and his bloody brides," he grumbled and took a sip of blood.

"What?"

"Nevermind, I don't think he'll be gunning for Buffy again anytime soon so you won't have to worry about that wanker. Go on, drink up. It's best when it's warm."

She looked at her own cup, "He's real?"

"Git still owes me money."

Ruby gave him a look that said she would be expecting more of that story later, "Sure… so what's the plan for me?" She took a tentative drink from her mug. It wasn't Slayer blood but Spike had been right about the herbs. The sip turned into a gulp.

He watched her with interest as she gulped it down hungrily. She clearly hadn't been feeding properly which he had expected. "Good question. I thought I'd start you out joining in with the Slayeretts's training. You can fight, that comes standard with your demon. But there's always more to learn. Don't get complacent. The best way to take advantage of the whole immortality thing is to roll with changes."

"Says the punk rock poster child?"

"Pot. Kettle. Changes can be slow and I quite like my hair this way so I'm not likely to change that anytime soon. That and it's sort of what keeps me alive with the Slayeretts when we go on field trips."

"Are you saying I should start dyeing my hair a distinctive color?" She smirked.

"Don't get smart."

"Can't help that, just am."

"Yeah alright smarty pants, there's still a lot I want to cover with you."

"The girls hate me," she blurted out suddenly.

"True. Deloris was a sweetheart. The girls aren't real happy with you being here. Won't do anything with me and Buffy around though."

"Yeah, sort of already got that message."

"Yeah, well that is just something you've got to deal with. Fact of the matter is that we don't really belong much of anywhere so we got to make our own place in the world. I sure as hell didn't just wake up one day and say 'Oh I'm just going to be good now', not that I didn't try. I was a sodding mess, one big bloody morally-gray mess for a couple of years. Trying to suss out what I should do and how I should act to make Buffy happy, make her tolerate me, even if she couldn't love me. Then something happened… I— I lost control— I nearly hurt Buffy beyond forgiveness. If she hadn't…" he flinched inwardly, he couldn't bring himself to talk about that night. "If she hadn't knocked some sense into me... Left in search of my soul just after that." He added weakly.

"So that's what you meant before. The thing about it being a grand gesture of love. You did it for her."

Spike hung his head down, he had almost forgotten he had said anything to her about that, "I was out of my mind in love with her but the demon can't really process love the same way as a human soul. It's close. Damn close. But there's this— line in between and I nearly crossed it. Knew I couldn't look her in the eye. Not after she'd seen me for the monster I was. Not when all she deserves is a good man to support her in everything she does. I couldn't blame her for hating me, so I went to find the thing that would turn me into the man she deserves. I got it; and everything fell apart after that. Lost my mind. Buffy helped me shove my marbles back in place."

"But clearly things worked out between you, I mean you're together now, and you seem sane enough."

"Sure as hell wasn't overnight. Whole thing is far too complicated to get into now. You're coming along quickly but then I sort of figured you would, pipsqueak. You and I aren't exactly brooders like Angel. Can crack a smile for starters."

"You don't like him much do you?"

"We're getting on alright now. Lots of unpleasant history there. Some of its guilt. Angel is big on guilt. Blames himself for everything he did plus everything me and Dru ever did. Well I don't know about Dru really. I don't think he can look at her without feeling at least a little pride. She was his greatest masterpiece after all. And then when she turned me, he thought he'd take on a new pet project. Taught me everything I know. Tried to twist me to be just as nasty as him but it just never did quite work. No one was more twisted and sadistic than Angelus. I didn't bother trying to be like him after a while, became my own monster as it were. Started hunting Slayers."

"Until you fell in love with one."

"Yup."

"Almost sounds like you were searching for your soulmate even then."

"Bollocks, didn't have a soul," he said a little too quickly. The truth was that it wasn't a new thought. The idea had often kept him awake, especially just after he had first realized his feelings for her. The thought had crept back into the forefront of his mind after Buffy had told him about meeting his soul in the heaven dimension she was in.

"No, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was some prophecy or something out there that says you were destined to fall in love with a Slayer."

There was a ring of truth there that he wasn't sure what to do with, so he just kept his response clipped. "What do you know about prophecies?"

"Nothing really. Willow has just been filling me in on some of the basic things she does with your group and mentioned something about them."

"Good storyteller is she?"

"Could probably listen to her read the dictionary if I'm being honest."

"Got it bad for the witch don't you?"

She shrugged, "Not really a secret. She's kind, sweet— generous."

"You're going to make your own choices no matter what I say but can I give you some advice?"

"It's what you're here for isn't it?"

"Red is working on getting out of a crappy rebound relationship after losing the love of her life. A real nice girl I liked a lot too. Now Red clearly likes you, but the last thing that girl needs right now is some hot little thing twisting her head round."

"But—"

"I'm not saying stay away from the girl. Just take it easy. Pump the breaks. Do you both a favor and take the time to get yourself right in the head first. By the time you do that, maybe the time will be right for you both."

She nodded glumly, she suddenly wasn't feeling as secure about her situation as she had less than a half hour ago when her parents were in the room. Now she was feeling almost claustrophobic, the weight of unknown possibilities pressing in on her. She looked at the thin layer of blood coating the bottom of the cup and grimaced.

"Ruby?"

"Hum?"

"You alright there?"

"Yeah, just thinking."

"Willow?"

"Yeah but also— This soul thing, and the fighting evil thing and–"

"The blood?"

"Yeah…"

"You need your strength. You'll get used to it, and so will the girls. Willow too. Just wait and see."

AN: Chapter title taken from Rob Zombie's song by the same name, that really has nothing to do with the chapter.