Lily stared at the door for a long moment as if already regretting her decision not to go in with Gerald. Or John, rather. Lily hated this name he had chosen: John Doe. As if he were a dead body just running around without a purpose. She didn't mind the name Bridge so much although there was something about the name Gerald. Yes, she knew it annoyed him when she called him that, but she felt special using his birth name when so little people knew what it was. It was like she owned a little piece of him.

She could have easily just walked through the door – walls, doors, windows, there were no obstacles for Lily in this 'phantom' state of hers as Jason called it. But no. Gerald was right, she could leave him alone for half an hour. She was fully aware of what appearance meant to him even though it seemed to have slipped in the last years – even though Gerald had tried to make the long hair and beard work for him. It just seemed another disguise, another 'name' that he hid himself with. The scar really wasn't that bad.

Peeling her eyes away from the door, Lily finally turned around and silently stepped through the doorway that led back into the Rec-Zone. It wouldn't matter how hard she stomped, no sound would come through. Part of her found it strange that she could feel the floor underneath her yet could also walk through walls but part of her just didn't really care. This phantom state of hers was just a way to keep by Gerald's side as far as she was concerned.

The Rec-Zone was bustling as was usual during mid-day. People eating, playing board games, watching the wide-screen TV in the corner, generally milling about and chatting. Lily stared at all of this and frowned. It felt peculiar. She had never explored Hearthome on herself, never pulled herself away from Gerald's side like this. Everything screamed at her to go running back but no – she had agreed to half an hour. She could manage that. It wasn't like she was addicted to being by Gerald's side, not at all.

"So what do I do?" Lily asked out loud, swinging her arms out in front of her. She knew there would be no answer but didn't enjoy the thoughts that were slowly creeping in now Gerald wasn't around. She walked up to a couple playing checkers, chatting about some aimless food they used to enjoy eating. "What do you reckon, guys?" Lily leaned down in front of the checkers game. "I wouldn't put that there, you'll just – ah, well, I tried to warn you." Lily watched the losing side complain and demand a rematch and turned away from the board game, her voice, as always, unheard.

A group of three people were murmuring conspiratorially on one of the benches. Lily skipped over and leaned in close.

"I can't believe he lost an eye! We knew she was bad, but that bad?"

"It's dangerous, right, it's dangerous to be here. I always knew Hearthome was dangerous, I knew it!"

"Don't panic, it's only because of Banks, that's all. Besides, no one's seen her in a couple of days. Hearthome is here to help, you know that."

"Is it really?" Lily said, her overtaking the actual response in her own ears. "Hearthome hasn't helped Gerald at all, has it?" She shook her head. "It made him get embroiled in situations that aren't his to get involved in. Again. And this time he doesn't have the excuse of being on a List." Lily sat on the edge of the bench next to one of the talkers and looked at him, imagining his mouth wasn't moving. "All of you are sheep, ignorant sheep, being led around by the nose in a world so different that they try desperately to keep the same. This isn't a night out with the lads, guy, this is a hospital. You should be trying to get better, not chatting about nonsense."

"Well, Noah's been here a long time. He'll be here longer than any of us."

"Not that anyone has left since he got here."

"What, that Shepherd guy?"

"Ssshhh! Don't say his name! They say he sneaks the dorms at night!"

"Stop making people into boogeymen," Lily interjected, standing up from the bench. "The dude is just a man. I bet he's nothing like what people say he is. Just like Gerald. People always said Gerald was high and mighty and selfish but he's not. I know the truth." She sighed, long and hard. What was she doing, chatting to people that couldn't even hear her. At least Gerald showed irritation even when he was ignoring her. She loved drawing reactions out of him that other people couldn't.

"Is that healthy?" Noah's voice echoed in her mind. Lily shook her head, her beads flicking back and forth over her face, and she looked around for anything else interesting in the Rec-Zone. As she walked, people passed by her and sometimes they passed right through her. Gazes looked past her, words were spoken over her. Lily came to a stop in the busy Rec-Zone, seeing the residents milling about, completely ignoring her. She felt angry. More than angry, she felt pissed off. Pissed off that fate had dealt her this hand. She loved that Gerald could see her but she couldn't touch him, could only speak to him. But now she could…. With Jason's help, she could… But he didn't seem to want to be touched. Not that he ever wanted to be touched.

Standing amongst the throng, a memory came unbidden to Lily's mind, from seven long years ago.

She was straddling a lifeless form, a hand clutched tightly around a pale neck. She was breathing slowly, trying to control it. Lily had just come around the corner and had seen it. She knew she was too late, but nevertheless she stepped forward, grabbed a good hold of her shoulder, and boldly threw her to the side. She grunted as she landed. Lily winced at the pain in her arm, and couldn't see out of her right eye – whether that was due to the blood or the injury, Lily wasn't certain. "What have you done?" Lily asked, aghast at the scene in front of her.

Sabrina Holland looked up from the floor. Her eyes glanced to the lifeless form on the ground and then back up to Lily. "She deserved her fate."

"No one deserves that fate," Lily said slowly. She had no desire to cause any friction with her. The woman had just killed someone. She was teetering on the edge if she hadn't fallen already. She chose her words carefully so as to try and get across her point without conflict. "No one deserves to die like this."

"Heh…" Sabrina shook her head slowly. "That's how this world works, Lily. People die. We can't do anything about it."

"You're lying!" Lily stepped forward towards the fallen woman. "We can save people. I saved Bridge back at the beginning. I saved his life."

Sabrina coughed amidst the dust of the fallen construction site. "His turn will only come around again. You should count yourself lucky, you know."

Lily clutched at her arm. Was it broken? Probably. It felt like something was scraping against her muscles. "How's that?"

"You managed to somehow survive without being put on the List. In the vision… at the concert hall… You sacrificed your life to save Bridge's. It should have been you to be the first one targeted, but instead it was Bridge. Maybe Death has some kind of heart after all." Lily stared into Sabrina's bright blue eyes, still vibrant despite what she had just done. "Why did you even get involved? You were never a part of this."

There was no hesitation to Lily's answer. She knew exactly why she had involved herself. "Bridge was a part of this. That means I am too."

"Ah yes, your ridiculous attachment to him…" Sabrina's tone was jeering, as if she was insulting Lily.

It worked. Lily could feel her anger heat up despite herself. "Excuse me?"

"You love him, sure. Anyone can clearly see that. But he doesn't exactly reciprocate the feelings."

Lily shook her head at Sabrina's words. "Love?" Love was such a simple word. "It's not that simple." Did Lily love Gerald? Yes, she did. Loved him ever since she laid eyes on him. Loved the way he spoke, the way he sang, the way he presented himself, his very presence, his aura. The word love just didn't do what Lily felt justice. "Bridge and I share a connection that you couldn't possibly comprehend." Lily stared at Sabrina, who hadn't made a move to get up. She had watched her murder the girl but Lily had had enough violence, enough death. She reached with her good arm towards Sabrina. "But I am not down here to receive or give a lecture. I'm here to help you." Lily glanced to the throttled girl on the floor, eyes bloodshot and glazed. Such a shame, despite the fact she was the one who was waving the gun about up top. "I can't ignore what you've done. But I believe in saving people. I believe in making sure people don't die without cause. That includes you, believe it or not."

Lily slapped both hands against her cheeks sharply, feeling the stinging overtake her thoughts. Why was she thinking that? Part of the last conversation she had ever had when she was alive. Before she was betrayed. Before Sabrina Holland caved in her skull with that rebar. "I believe in saving people…" Lily murmured, echoing her long ago words. "I believe in making sure people don't die without cause." Lily realised with a start that it was perhaps the only selfish action she had ever done. Everything Lily had done, both alive and dead, had been for Gerald. Yet in that moment, even after watching Sabrina murder the girl, she had offered a hand and offered to save her.

Lily clutched her head, suddenly frightened. When the rebar had come down, again and again, when she felt her skull splitting, she realised that her last thought was not of Gerald… her last thought was wishing she could only have tried harder to help her… to help…

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up! SHUT UP!" Lily roared the last two words as loud as she could, letting it echo over all the deaf ears in the Rec-Zone. No one stopped what they were doing. No one glanced up at her words. No one cared about Lily anymore. "Gerald cares…" Lily whispered. A horrible thought pierced her usual concrete feelings. Did he? "I care…" Lily said, trying to convince herself.

As she looked hopelessly around the room, her eyes focused in on a lone figure sitting in the corner. Lily found herself drawn to the lone figure, somehow resonating an aura of loneliness despite being in such a busy place. Lily sat down against the wall next to the figure and watched.

The figure was young, maybe early twenties, not too different from Lily's own age, with rolling blonde hair done up in a ponytail with a ribbon. Her tongue was stuck out as she concentrated on a large piece of sketch paper in front of her, using crayons like a child to draw. The drawing was impressive, a replication of Hearthome's gates, and even in the crayon it looked good, Lily had to admit.

"What's your story?" Lily asked out loud as the girl concentrated. "Got no-one to talk to? It's good to have someone to talk to."

She switched crayons, haphazardly letting the green crayon roll across the floor, all her attention on her drawing. The crayon rolled close to Lily.

"Maybe you don't care. Maybe you like your solitude. Wish I did." Lily watched the crayon slowly roll to a stop next to her feet. "I was told that I was 'not letting go'. Is that so bad? How can I let Gerald go? He doesn't know what he's doing, he doesn't know how to interact with people. I've always been there, guiding him, saving him." Lily was glad that nobody could see her. She hated to cry and while she was keeping her eyes dry for the moment, she could feel them threatening to emerge. "If it wasn't for me, he would've been dead. Twice. Three times if you count the vision. It's my duty, you know, it's my reason. To save him. To be there for him."

The girl cast away another crayon just like the first as she leaned closer to focus on her drawing.

"Yet… back then." Lily closed her eyes. "It wasn't just Gerald, was it? I wanted to help others. I wanted to help that guy with the beanie, Corey. I wanted to help that girl who just wouldn't stop smiling, Ruby. Even that bitch Sabrina, I wanted to help her. I was so focused on Gerald that I never had time for other people… and then the List happened… and even though the situation was fucked beyond belief, I talked with other people, helped other people." Crap. Here it comes. Lily tried to resist the urge to let her emotions get the better of her. "Gerald always questions himself. He wonders who he is, he cast away Gerald, he cast away Bridge, and I try to help him but I guess I never really stopped to ask who I am. Guess it's too late to ask that question, right? Cause now I'm just a phantom floating around talking to girls who can't hear me. Maybe I should get Jason to let me talk to that professor. Clearly being away from Gerald is bad for my brain."

The girl threw her next crayon and this time threw it quite hard. Some human instinct in Lily went to catch it even though she knew it would not work.

Only the crayon came to a stop in her palm.

Lily stared at it, in shock. She could feel it. Could feel the waxy surface of the crayon. She had tried to grab things before but it had never really worked and she had given up quickly. But then again… Then again she had sat on benches, walked on the floor, leaned against walls. Why wouldn't she be able to grab hold of things? Why had she never really tried?

"He was a sheltered boy growing up and a sheltered man as he grew." Lily had said those words to Noah and realised with a start that she herself was just as sheltered. Gerald had been her whole life. Her whole death. And now, in this half an hour of absence, she had managed to interact with the world in a way she hadn't since she had been killed.

Lily suddenly realised that the girl was watching her. Her bright green eyes were staring right at the crayon. Lily suddenly dropped the crayon, letting it clatter to the ground. What was she doing? People still couldn't see her. Making a person in an asylum think there's floating crayon's running about? Stupid! Stupid! Lily sighed, expecting the girl to run away, but instead the girl's expression seemed to change. She flipped over the piece of paper, used the blue crayon she was using and wrote in simple letters:

'HI'. After a moment, she added: '?' after the word.

Lily stared at it. She knew she shouldn't. She shouldn't encourage it. She should keep quiet, keep to herself. Yet Gerald had made the choice to go get his haircut and to have half an hour alone. So why couldn't she make a choice as well? Even if it meant this poor girl would probably been seen as crazy. Was it selfish? Or was it just reaching out to someone other than Gerald?

Lily's fingers hovered over the green crayon. Something in her was suddenly scared stiff that she wouldn't be able to touch it. Yet she did, her fingers clutching the crayon as if it were a lifeline. Lily moved next to the girl, whose eyes were trained on the crayon, and wrote slowly underneath the word.

'Hey.' The girl's eyes widened. She desperately scribbled some more letters.

'ARE YOU A GHOST?'

'Not really.' Lily mused for a moment. Well, it was too late to back out. She just hoped the girl wouldn't tell any doctors about this. 'My name is Lily.'

'I'M GRACIE'

'Hi, Gracie.' Lily hesitated again. 'Aren't you scared?'

'WHY WOULD I BE SCARED? THIS IS AWESOME!' Gracie scribbled furiously. Lily glanced nervously around but it seemed as if Gracie was just as invisible as she was. 'I ALWAYS HEAR THE VOICES, BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN ABLE TO COMMUNICATE BACK'

"You hear voices?" Lily said out loud. There was no response, just Gracie waiting patiently. Instead, she wrote 'You can't hear my voice. Can you usually hear voices?'

'YEAH. IS THAT WEIRD? I'M SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOURS.'

'No, it's fine.'

'SORRY, I KNOW WRITING IS WEIRD, BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY I KNOW HOW. SEEING AS I CAN'T HEAR YOU AND YOU CAN'T HEAR ME.'

'I could hear you if you spoke.'

Lily watched a sad expression on Gracie's face. She bent her neck back and used the crayon to point to a small scar over her throat where some surgical instrument had sliced in the past.

'NO, I HAVE NO WORDS TO BE HEARD'

'We probably shouldn't do this for too long. People might notice.'

'IT'S FINE. I'M INVISIBLE TO THEM. LITTLE GRACIE HOBBS LIVES IN HER OWN LITTLE WORLD. BUT I'M HAPPY WITH MY OWN LITTLE WORLD. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURS?'

Lily froze. She slowly rotated the crayon around in her fingers. It was a big question to be asked so suddenly, especially with the way her thoughts had been twisting about.

'SORRY. IT'S HARD TO BE POLITE WHEN TALKING IN CRAYON'. Gracie drew a smiley face next to the sentence. 'HEY, DO YOU WANT TO DRAW WITH ME? I GOT MORE PAPER. DON'T WORRY, I'LL KEEP IT A SECRET.'

Lily looked at the conversation they had just written in messy letters. She looked back at Gracie and she looked so happy, almost overjoyed at this exchange. In fact, Lily recognised the expression as one she wore when she was able to touch Noah, an ecstatic feeling that even made her kiss his cheek in joy. You know what, Lily, Gerald can wait if he likes. Lily used the crayon to write four words:

'That would be fun.'